Starshipsofa Stories: Volume 1
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VOLUME 1 Contents Tony C. Smith . Ed’s Letter 3 Michael Moorcock . London Bone 5 Ken Scholes . .Into The Blank Where Life Is Hurled 19 Elizabeth Bear . Tideline 29 Michael Bishop Vinegar Peace (or, The Wrong-Way Used-Adult Orphanage) 37 Spider Robinson . In The Olden Days 51 Gord Sellar . Lester Young And The Jupiter’s Moons’ Blues 55 Lawrence Santoro . Little Girl Down The Way 77 Gene Wolfe . .The Vampire Kiss 87 Benjamin Rosenbaum . The Ant King: A California Fairy Tale 91 Joe R. Lansdale . Godzilla’s Twelve Step Program 103 Alastair Reynolds . The Sledge-maker’s Daughter 109 Ken Macleod . Jesus Christ, Reanimator 123 Peter Watts . The Second Coming Of Jasmine Fitzgerald 131 Ruth Nestvold . Mars: A Travelers’ Guide 145 Jeffrey Ford . Empire Of Ice Cream 151 ILLUSTRATIONS Skeet Scienski . Cover Art Adam Koford . When they Come 4 Anton Emdin . .Weather Forecasting 36 Jouni Koponen . Little Girl Down The Way 77 Bob Byrne . .The Vampire Kiss 87 Steve Boehme . The Ant King: A California Fairy Tale 91 Jouni Koponen . Empire Of Ice Cream 151 EDiteD BY TonY C. SMitH Copyright © 2009 by StarShipSofa. Cover design, interior layout & design by Dee Cunniffe. www.StarShipSofa.com PErMissiONS: “London Bone” © Michael Moorcock, 1998. New Worlds, 1998, David Garnett, White Wolf. Reprinted by permission of the author. “Into The Blank Where Life Is Hurled” © Ken Scholes, 2005. Writers of the Future Volume XXI, Aug 2005, Algis Budrys, Galaxy Press. Reprinted by permission of the author. “Tideline” © Elizabeth Bear, 2007. Asimov’s Science Fiction, June 2007 Jun 2007, Sheila Williams, Dell Magazines.Reprinted by permission of the author. “Vinegar Peace, or, The Wrong- Way Used-Adult Orphanage” © Michael Bishop, 2007, Asimov’s Science Fiction, July 2008, Sheila Williams, Dell Magazines. Reprinted by permission of the author. “In The Olden Days” © Spider Robinson, 1984. Melancholy Elephants, 1984, Spider Robinson, Penguin. Reprinted by permission of the author. “Lester Young and the Jupiter’s Moons’ Blues” © Gord Sellar, 2008, Asimov’s Science Fiction, July 2008, Sheila Williams, Dell Magazines. Reprinted by permission of the author. “Little Girl Down The Way” © Lawrence Santoro, 2006. Hell In The Heartland, 2008, edited by Ms. Marel Sardina and Roger Dale Trexler for Annihilation Press, Reprinted by permission of the author. “Vampire Kiss” © Gene Wolfe, 2005. Realms of Fantasy, April 2005, Apr 2005, Shawna McCarthy, Sovereign Media Co. Reprinted by permission of the author. “The Ant King: A California Fairy Tale” © Ben Rosenbaum, 2001. The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, July 2001, Gordon Van Gelder, Spilogale. Reprinted by permission of the author. “Godzilla’s Twelve-Step Program” © Joe R. Lansdale, 1994, Writer of the Purple Rage, 1997, Joe R. Lansdale, Carroll & Graf. Reprinted by permission of the author. “The Sledge-Maker’s Daughter” by Alastair Reynolds, 2007, Interzone, April 2007, Apr 2007, Andy Cox, TTA Press. Reprinted by permission of the author. “Jesus Christ, Reanimator” © Ken MacLeod, 2007. Fast Forward 1: Future Fiction from the Cutting Edge, Feb 2007, Lou Anders, Pyr. Reprinted by permission of the author. “The Second Coming Of Jasmine Fitzgerald” © Peter Watts, 2000. Ten Monkeys, Ten Minutes, Peter Watts, Tesseract Books. Reprinted by permission of the author. “Mars: A Traveler’s Guide” © Ruth Nestvold, 2008. The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, January 2008 Gordon Van Gelder. Reprinted by permission of the author. “The Empire of Ice Cream” © Jeffrey Ford, 2003. Sci Fiction Feb 2003, Ellen Datlow, SciFi.com, Internet, magazine. Reprinted by permission of the author. 2 ED’S LETTER Anyone can make a podcast. So began the teetering foundations that were to lead to where StarShipSofa is today: one of the biggest SF literature podcasts in the world. A grand statement, you might say, but nearly four years down the line that is where we are. That makes me feel rather proud. I didn’t get there by myself; StarShipSofa is a community, and we are all here because we love science fiction. StarShipSofa is made by many and put together by one. If it wasn’t Ed’s Letter for everyone – listeners, writers, and narrators – being so kind and helping out so much, I think To Mel, my amazing wife, and Elly and Reed, the good ship Sofa would have crashed into a star you are my world. I love you all so much. and burned long ago. The Sofa community has Tony/Dad made this show what it is today. And so we find ourselves celebrating N SOME ways it was thE gift OF AN StarShipSofa Audio Magazine hitting show IiPod from my wife that led to the birth of 100, and this time it’s done something quite StarShipSofa and ultimately the publication remarkable: it’s evolved from digital bits, servers, of this book. So I think we have to thank her. and drives into this fine printed book. Who would Thank you, Mel. have thought after listening to StarShipSofa I am proud to hold my hand up and say – a show made of kbps, mono, stereo, mp3s, “I am a Geek.” I love computers and I love wavs, uploads, and downloads – you would be gadgets. With my iPod came the discovery of holding the StarShipSofa Stories: Volume 1. podcasts. There was no more listening to radio I hope you enjoy reading it, and I’ll see you stations that bored me stupid. Podcasts were in a year’s time for Volume 2. out there, and they were playing what I wanted to hear, and this is still the case today. I have fine Tony C. Smith tuned my listening pleasure down to precisely Newcastle, September 2009 what I want, all thanks to the iPod. And what do I want to listen to? Why, –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– science fiction. But it wasn’t the first thing that came to mind AckNOWLEdgMENts: This book wouldn’t have as I scrolled through the oodles and oodles of come into being if it wasn’t for the kindness of all the podcasts. I was trying all things: geeks, gadgets, writers and artists involved with this project. I thank and gizmos. Then I stumbled upon science you from the bottom of my heart – without your help, fiction and, way back in my brain department, this would have just been a silly dream. I also want to little motors slowly began to whirr and clunk, thank Dee Cunniffe for igniting the idea and making hiss and spit, until eventually it coughed up the it all happen – in two weeks! I have to say a big thank computation: You used to like science fiction! You you to Skeet for doing such a wonderful cover art. used to read it all the time. Why did you stop? Skeet, you have been so kind with your time, energy, and I thought about why I had stopped. There was skill. I hope this goes a little way into making your dream a period in my life when the sole reason for me come true – having your art on the cover of a book. Finally, being me was to read, but I’d drifted away and Josh Leuze, who at the last moment was asked to build a even to this day I cannot say why. Maybe it was website and didn’t flinch when told the deadline.M ost of gradual and time tricked me – who can tell. all this is a thank you to the StarShipSofa’s community I have my iPod; I have discovered science – you have made this old guy very proud, and I am truly fiction podcasts; and now came another discovery. grateful from the bottom of my heart – thank you. 3 LONDON BONE By Michael Moorcock For Ronnie Scott ––––––––––––––––––– 1 ––––––––––––––––––– possible profit out of an American matron with more money than sense who’s anxious to report Y NAME IS RayMOND GOLD AND I’M home with the right items ticked off the beento Ma well-known dealer. I was born too many list. We’ve all seen them rushing about in their years ago in Upper Street, Islington. Everybody overpriced limos and mini-buses, pretending reckons me in the London markets and I have a to be individuals: Thursday: Changing-of- good reputation in Manchester and the provinces. the-Guard, Harrods, Planet Hollywood, Royal I have bought and sold, been the middleman, Academy, Tea-At-the-Ritz, Cats. It’s a sort of an agent, an art representative, a professional tribal dance they all feel compelled to perform. mentor, a tour guide, a spiritual bridge-builder. If they don’t perform it, they feel inadequate. These days I call myself a cultural speculator. Saturday: Tower of London, Bucket of Blood, But, you won’t like it, the more familiar Jack-the-Ripper talk, Sherlock Holmes Pub, word for my profession, as I practised it until Sherlock Holmes tour, Madame Tussaud’s, recently, is scalper. This kind of language is just Covent Garden Cream Tea, Dogs. These another way of isolating the small businessman are people so traumatized by contact with and making what he does seem sleazy while the strangers that their only security lies in these stockbroker dealing in millions is supposed to be rituals, these well-blazed trails and familiar legitimate. But I don’t need to convince anyone chants. It’s my job to smooth their paths, to today that there’s no sodding justice. make them exclaim how pretty and wonderful ‘Scalping’ is risky. What you do is invest in and elegant and magical it all is. The street tickets on spec and hope to make a timely sale people aren’t a problem. They’re just so many when the market for them hits zenith.