Read Ebook {PDF EPUB} Twisted Tales from Shakespeare by Richard Armour TWISTED TALES FROM SHAKESPEARE. A limber litterateur, Mr. Armour, not satisfied with having broken the bare bones of history, here beards the Bard and adds not only mustaches and eyeglasses to Shakespearian characters but many a false none and blackened tooth. In the ""General Introduction"" Shakespeare's life, the Elizabethan theater and Shakespeare's development are not confined by any pedagogic plodding; the Appendices add their mutilations to the sonnets and the question of the authorship of the plays. Hamlet Macbeth A Midsummer, Night's Dream, Romeo and Juliet, The Merchant of Venice and are the plays decontaminated from any sense of pedantry in spite of the hardworking individual introductions. Altogether this should aid and abet any silly moment that might overtake you. Twisted Tales from Shakespeare. Choose your shipping method in Checkout. Costs may vary based on destination. Seller's Description: Good. Pages can have notes/highlighting. Spine may show signs of wear. 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies. Brownstown, MI, USA. Edition: 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies Trade paperback, Good Details: ISBN: 0070022518 ISBN-13: 9780070022515 Publisher: McGraw- Hill Companies Published: 1983 Language: English Alibris ID: 16685794416 Shipping Options: Standard Shipping: €3,60. Choose your shipping method in Checkout. Costs may vary based on destination. Seller's Description: Good. Former library book; Pages can have notes/highlighting. Spine may show signs of wear. 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies. Edition: 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies Trade paperback, Good Details: ISBN: 0070022526 ISBN-13: 9780070022522 Publisher: McGraw- Hill Companies Published: 06/1957 Language: English Alibris ID: 16677124045 Shipping Options: Standard Shipping: €3,60. Choose your shipping method in Checkout. Costs may vary based on destination. Seller's Description: Good. All pages and cover are intact. Possible slightly loose binding, minor highlighting and marginalia, cocked spine or torn dust jacket. Maybe an ex-library copy and not include the accompanying CDs, access codes or other supplemental materials. ► Contact This Seller. 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies. Edition: 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies Trade paperback, Good Details: ISBN: 0070022526 ISBN-13: 9780070022522 Publisher: McGraw- Hill Companies Published: 06/1957 Language: English Alibris ID: 16632685605 Shipping Options: Standard Shipping: €3,60. Choose your shipping method in Checkout. Costs may vary based on destination. Seller's Description: Good. All pages and cover are intact. Possible slightly loose binding, minor highlighting and marginalia, cocked spine or torn dust jacket. Maybe an ex-library copy and not include the accompanying CDs, access codes or other supplemental materials. ► Contact This Seller. 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies. Edition: 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies Trade paperback, Good Details: ISBN: 0070022518 ISBN-13: 9780070022515 Publisher: McGraw- Hill Companies Published: 06/1957 Language: English Alibris ID: 16641296848 Shipping Options: Standard Shipping: €3,60. Choose your shipping method in Checkout. Costs may vary based on destination. Seller's Description: Good. All pages and cover are intact. Possible slightly loose binding, minor highlighting and marginalia, cocked spine or torn dust jacket. Maybe an ex-library copy and not include the accompanying CDs, access codes or other supplemental materials. ► Contact This Seller. 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies. Edition: 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies Hardcover, Good Details: Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies Language: English Alibris ID: 16630865313 Shipping Options: Standard Shipping: €3,60. Choose your shipping method in Checkout. Costs may vary based on destination. Seller's Description: Good. Missing dust jacket; Pages can have notes/highlighting. Spine may show signs of wear. 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies. Edition: 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies Hardcover, Good Details: Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies Language: English Alibris ID: 16647737643 Shipping Options: Standard Shipping: €3,60. Choose your shipping method in Checkout. Costs may vary based on destination. Seller's Description: Good. Former library book; Missing dust jacket; Pages can have notes/highlighting. Spine may show signs of wear. 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies. Brownstown, MI, USA. Edition: 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies Hardcover, Good Details: Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies Language: English Alibris ID: 16662979732 Shipping Options: Standard Shipping: €3,60. Choose your shipping method in Checkout. Costs may vary based on destination. Seller's Description: Good. Missing dust jacket; Pages can have notes/highlighting. Spine may show signs of wear. 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies. Livermore, CA, USA. Edition: 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies Trade paperback, Good Details: ISBN: 0070022518 ISBN-13: 9780070022515 Publisher: McGraw- Hill Companies Published: 1983 Language: English Alibris ID: 13460495749 Shipping Options: Standard Shipping: €3,60 Trackable Expedited: €7,20 Two Day Air: €13,50. Choose your shipping method in Checkout. Costs may vary based on destination. Seller's Description: Good. a few small tears on cover. binding tight. Trade paperback (US). Glued binding. Audience: General/trade. ► Contact This Seller. 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies. Edition: 1983, McGraw-Hill Companies Trade paperback Details: ISBN: 0070022518 ISBN-13: 9780070022515 Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies Published: 1983 Language: English Alibris ID: 13807879938 Shipping Options: Standard Shipping: €3,60. Choose your shipping method in Checkout. Costs may vary based on destination. Seller's Description: Reader copy. Paperback. cover and corner wear. small tears in covers. creased covers. ► Contact This Seller. Books by Richard Armour. Customer Reviews. Hilarious! Tongue-in-cheek sly humor! Read this book decades ago and I'm glad to find a copy. As with Richard Armour's book, 'Classics Reclassified', this was a book I read many years ago when I found it in the school library. Very funny (to a young teenager) and irreverent, 'Twisted Tales of Shakespeare' became a favourite which I borrowed a number of times. I learned quite a lot about Shakespeare's plays while reading these for my pleasure. As an English teacher, I look forward to sharing some of these tales with my reluctant readers and expect that they will be encouraged by Mr Armour's sense of humour. I have been searching for this book for years, thwarted by its being long out of print; now my search is over and I can rest easy. Richard Armour. Richard Armour (1906-1989). Courtesy Find a Grave . Richard Willard Armour (July 15, 1906 – February 28, 1989) was an American poet, academic, and satirical author who wrote over 65 books. Contents. Life [ edit | edit source ] Armour was born in San Pedro, Los Angeles, California. His father was a pharmacist, and Armour's autobiographical Drug Store Days recalls his childhood in both San Pedro and Pomona. He attended and Harvard University, where he studied with the eminent Shakespearean scholar and obtained a Ph.D. in English philology. He eventually became Professor of English at and the Claremont Graduate School in Claremont, California. In his early career he focused on serious literature, publishing (in 1935) a biography of the lesser English poet Bryan Waller Procter and in 1940, co-editing (with Raymond F. Howes) a series of observations by contemporaries about Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Coleridge the Talker . Virginia Woolf cited this work in an essay stating, "Two pious American editors have collected the comments of this various company [Coleridge's acquaintances], and they are, of course, various. Yet it is the only way of getting at the truth—to have it broken into many splinters by many mirrors and so select." [1] You Bet Your Life [ edit | edit source ] In 1957, Armour appeared on the television game show You Bet Your Life hosted by , of Marx Brothers fame. After introductions, Groucho repeated the show's famous catch-phrase, "Say the secret word, win a hundred dollars." Each episode of the show had a secret, common word (i.e. home, head, door) and if the contestant said the word during his/her often hilarious interview, then the partnered contestants would each get $50. In this particular case, Armour caught the host in a semantic trap, by immediately stating, "The secret word." He then demanded his $100. After a very brief moment of confusion the band broke out with a short medley indicating that the secret word had been said. Announcer and assistant George Fenneman then arrived on camera and turned to Armour, "From the C.O. over here that we will allow you to do what you just did. But nobody else better try this. That's what they said." Armour replied, "Thank you, very much." And Fenneman left the frame and responded, "You're welcome," quickly caught himself, and almost cut himself off stating, "I had nothing to do with it." Normally when the secret word is said, Groucho immediately hands over cash. He did not hand over the cash and it's unclear if they paid Armour the bonus even after Armour and his partner won the game. Writing [ edit | edit source ] Verse [ edit | edit source ] Armour wrote humorous light verse in a style reminiscent of . These poems were often featured in newspaper Sunday supplements in a feature called Armour's Armory . Many of Armour's poems have been repeatedly and incorrectly attributed to Nash. Probably Armour's most- quoted poem (often attributed to Nash) is the quatrain: "Shake and shake / the catsup bottle / first none'll come / and then a lot'll." Another popular quatrain of his, also usually attributed erroneously to Nash, is: "Nothing attracts / the mustard from wieners / as much as the slacks / just back from the cleaners." An example is the poem he composed for Groucho Marx: To Groucho [ edit | edit source ] Most poets write of Meadowlarks I sing instead of Groucho Marx His lustrous eyes, each like a star His noble brow, his sweet cigar His manly stride, his soft moustache His easy way with sponsors' cash His massive shoulders, brawny arms His intellect, his many charms In short, unless the truth I stray from A man to keep your wife away from. Books [ edit | edit source ] Armour also wrote satirical books, such as Twisted Tales from Shakespeare , and his ersatz history of the United States, It All Started With Columbus . These books were typically filled with puns and plays on words, and gave the impression of someone who had not quite been paying attention in class, thus also getting basic facts not quite right, to humorous effect.=== As an example: "In an attempt to take , the British]] attacked Fort McHenry, which protected the harbor. Bombs were soon bursting in air, rockets were glaring, and all in all it was a moment of great historical interest. During the bombardment, a young lawyer named Francis "Off" Key wrote The Star-Spangled Banner , and when, by the dawn's early light, the British heard it sung, they fled in terror!" It All Started with Europa begins in the wilderness full of "fierce animals ready to spring and fierce birds ready to chirp." It All Started with Marx includes the rabble-rousing Lenin declaring in public "Two pants with every suit!," "Two suits with every pants!" and "The Tsar is a tsap!" It All started with Eve quotes as writing in a letter "Do you [ Joséphine ] miss me? I hope the enemy artillery does." His book The Classics Reclassified includes take-offs on works such as The Iliad, Julius Caesar by , David Copperfield by , etc.; each take-off is prefaced by a short biography of the work's author in the same style. For Shakespeare, it says he "was baptized April 26, 1564. When he was born is disputed, but anyone who argues that it was after this date is just being difficult." Armour's books are typically written in a style parodying dull academic tomes, with many footnotes (funny in themselves), fake bibliographies, quiz sections and glossaries. This style was pioneered by the British humorists W.C. Sellar and R.J. Yeatman with their parody of British history '1066 and All That' in the 1930s. Publications [ edit | edit source ] Poetry [ edit | edit source ] The Medical Muse; or, What to do until the patient comes . New York: McGraw-Hill, 1963. | An Armoury of Light Verse || 1964 || |- | For Partly Proud Parents || 1950 || Light verse. |- | Golf Bawls || 1946 || Light verse. |- | Private Lives || 1944 || Light verse. |- | The Spouse in the House || - || Light verse. |- | Yours for the Asking || - || Light verse. Punctured Poems: Famous first and infamous second lins . New York: McGraw-Hill, 1966. All in Sport (illustrated by Leo Herschfeld). New York: McGraw-Hill, 1972. Play [ edit | edit source ] To These Dark Steps || 1943 || Stage play (life of ), with Bown Adams. Non-fiction [ edit | edit source ] Barry Cornwall: A biography of Bryan Waller Procter || 1935 || - Leading with my left || 1945 || With caricatures by Joseph Forte. It all Started with Columbus . New York & London: McGraw-Hill, 1953. It all Started with Europa New York & London: McGraw-Hill, 1955. It all Started with Eve . New York & London: McGraw-Hill, 1956. |- | It all Started with Marx || 1956 || History of communism | Nights with Armour || 1958 || - | Twisted Tales from Shakespeare || 1957 || Parody. | The Classics Reclassified || 1963 || Famous books (parody) Our Presidents . New York: Norton, 1964. It All Started with Hippocrates . New York: McGraw-Hill, 1966. My Life with Women: Confessions of a domesticated male . New York: McGraw-Hill, 1968. | English Lit Relit || 1970 || English Literature |- | AmericanLit Relit || 1970 || American Literature. |- | Going Like Sixty || 1974 || Humorous look at aging. McGraw-Hill, |- | The Academic Bestiary || 1974 || Humorous look at higher learning. William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1974 . ISBN 0-688-02884-5 |- | It all Started with Nudes || 1977 || Art appreciation. Illustrated by Campbell Grant. | Armour's Almanac || 1962 || |- | Educated Guesses || 1983 || Education (serious) |- | A Diabolical Dictionary of Education || 1969 || |- | Drug Store Days || 1959 || Autobiography |- | Going Around in Academic Circles || 1966 || Higher education. |- | Golf is a Four-Letter Word (illustrated by Leo Herschfield). New York & London: McGraw-Hill, 1972. Out of My Mind . New York: McGraw-Hill, 1972. | The Happy Bookers || 1976 || Librarians. Written with and Campbell Grant. |- | It All Started with Freshman English || - || |- | It All Started with Stones and Clubs || 1967 || Warfare and weaponry. |- | My Life with Women || - || |- | Out of My Mind || 1972 || About Bryan Waller Procter/Barry Cornwall |- | A Safari into Satire || 1961 || |- | A Short History of Sex || 1970 || |- | Through Darkest Adolescence || 1963 || |- | Punctured Poems: Famous First and Infamous Second Lines || 1982 || Illustrated by Eric Gurney. Woodbridge Press |- | Writing Light Verse and Prose Humour || - || |- | All in sport || 1972 || With drawings by Leo Hershfield. New York, McGraw-Hill, ISBN 0070023026. Going Like Sixty: A lighthearted look at the later years . Boston: G.K. Hall, 1974. ISBN 0-07-002295-5. | Anyone for Insomnia? A playful look at sleeplessness by a blear-eyed insomniac . Santa Barbara, CA: Woodbridge, 1982. Juvenile [ edit | edit source ] The Year Santa Went Modern . New York: McGraw-Hill, 1964. A Dozen Dinosaurs (illustrated by Paul Galdone). New York: McGraw-Hill, 1967. All Sizes and Shapes of Monkeys and Apes (illustrated by Paul Galdone). New York: McGraw-Hill, 1970. The Strange Dreams of Rover Jones (illustrated by Eric Gurney). New York: McGraw-Hill, 1973. |- | The Adventures of Egbert the Easter Egg || - || Children's book. |- | Animals on the Ceiling || - || Children's book. | Odd Old Mammals || - || Children's book. |- | On Your Marks: A Package of Punctuation || - || Children's book. |- | Sea Full of Whales || 1974 || Children's book. |- | Who's in Holes? || - || Children's book. Twisted Tales from Shakespeare by Richard Armour. Hooray! You've discovered a title that's missing from our library. Can you help donate a copy? If you own this book, you can mail it to our address below. You can also purchase this book from a vendor and ship it to our address: When you buy books using these links the Internet Archive may earn a small commission. Benefits of donating. When you donate a physical book to the Internet Archive, your book will enjoy: Beautiful high-fidelity digitization Long-term archival preservation Free controlled digital library access by the print-disabled and public † Open Library is a project of the Internet Archive, a 501(c)(3) non-profit. Twisted Tales from Shakespeare. Sign up for LibraryThing to find out whether you'll like this book. No current Talk conversations about this book. This is pretty relentlessly silly, but it still gets at the crux of the plays, or at least makes good points about traditional interpretations of them. It’s not something I’d recommend to a Shakespeare newbie unless I’m pairing it with the play(s) in question, simply because the stories don’t quite line up, some of the jokes will fly over the head of someone who doesn’t know the stories already, and I’m a bit of a Shakespeare purist. But it’s still fun and entertaining and holds up surprisingly well considering it’s sixty-something years old. The humour and satire here are a mix of pithy quips, puns and deliberate misunderstandings of Shakespeare’s words, and modernisations of some of the scenes. So you get “Juliet withdraws (her lips)” and comments about Rosencrantz and Guildenstern being completely interchangeable and “[Lysander] has an aunt who lives in a town some distance away, where the marriage laws are more lax than Athens. The town isn’t named, but it’s probably in Nevada.” Taken a bit at a time, they’re worthy of a snort or an eye roll, but reading the whole book, with a joke every line or two, got wearing. Another note: I think I’ve read this before, actually. It’s from my dad’s library and he loaned it to me over Christmas, and I have vague memories of reading a book like this in high school. If I did, I think I found it funnier then, so “slightly bored teenage book nerd” is probably the perfect audience. On the other hand, I have a good memory as a rule and the fact that I’m not sure if I’ve read this or not, well. That says something too. In sum: this lasted me an amusing few days but I’m probably going to find it pretty forgettable in the long run. I’d rec it if you’re interested or you happen to like Shakespeare and see it secondhand somewhere, but it’s not really something to rush out and get. English teachers will probably find a winner, though. To bear in mind: The humour is very 1950s, so not every joke lands well on 21st century ears. Especially some of the jokes about the women. ( )