Probus Club of Lomond

Newsletter 6 December 2006

From our Chairman Then I thought of Teddy Vernon. The Reverend Edward Vernon, uncle of Gavin Vernon of Stone of Dear All, Destiny fame, was the minister of the church I he editors of the newsletter asked me to attended regularly as a teenager in the early 1950s. I provide you with a seasonal message. I used to sit enthralled, not for an easy 15 minutes but couldn't think how to start; the virginal for a rigorous 35, Sunday after Sunday and, amazingly T after more than fifty years, I can still recall great whiteness of the paper seemed to inhibit me. So, as usual, I indulged in some displacement activity. I read chunks of his sermons. Except he didn't preach five articles in today's paper. sermons, he gave people messages. He thought The first was about Iraq and Afghanistan: “Bush deeply; he used words playfully; somehow he managed and Blair should be arraigned for war crimes”. to get through to listeners of all ages. He was the The second was about our profligate use of energy person who most shaped my thinking in early life. If and the impending disasters of climate change. those of you who know me well are mildly surprised The third was about toxic childhood: “We are that I should give such high praise to a minister of creating a generation which is inarticulate, egocentric, religion, don't be. We moved house and joined a destructive and disturbed”. different church. The minister there was a shallow The fourth was about a Canadian documentary thinker, who used words carelessly and mostly in which will seriously damage 's bid to host the support of a rabid anti-Catholicism. The contrast with Commonwealth games: “Glasgow is a city awash with Teddy was too much for me and I disjoined; I still gangland violence - a public health catastrophe”. have a certificate of disjunction to prove it. I turned to the book pages hoping for something cheerful. “The Christmas book list will be dominated Here are three of Teddy's messages. by misery memoirs: harrowing tales of abuse, 1. To those who despair of this world. alcoholism, blighted childhoods and terrible traumas - “If you stand in the garden your view will be 'tis the season to be sorry.” dominated by the horror of the Cross; if you stand By now thoroughly depressed, I flung the national in the shadow of the Cross, you will see the newspaper aside and sought inspiration from an article blooms in the garden.” I had to edit for our village newspaper. This provided 2. To those who are depressed. me with a “fitness message” for the festive season. We “I take my text from 1 Kings, 19 vs 4. ‘Elijah sat should eat less salt, less sugar, less fat, less fast foods down under a juniper tree.’ Depression is a normal (over-processed industrial slurry) and less junk. No- and necessary part of the human condition. It is a one should smoke, but alcohol in carefully controlled sane response to an insane world. It is not amounts is permissible. We should drink enormous advisable to stay under the juniper tree - nor is it volumes of water every day and take much more sensible to think that juniper berries make gin a exercise. Most importantly, there is sound medical good way to escape from life.” evidence that unhappiness causes ill-health - so above all we must be happy. So would you welcome a 3. A seasonal message. message like this one from me? “Confront the “I will not wish you a merry Christmas. The word manifold miseries of the world with a permanent grin merry reminds me of sherry and those female on your face - in between your regular sprints to the relations who never allowed a drop of alcohol to loo.” cross their lips except for a sherry (or four) at Continued on page 2

1 Continued from page 1 Probus Exchange Christmas. Nor will I wish you a peaceful New We have received a message from Michael and Lisa Year; thanks to the stupidity and greed of Harrison of the Beaver Valley Probus Club, Ontario, aggressive men it will not be. I do, however, exhort . They have an “Activity Group” who are you to work for peace; your contribution may be interested in exchanging homes with other Probus small, but it is vital. I will not wish you a Clubs. prosperous New Year; most of you already have If any members are interested they should contact more money than you need. I wish you a happy the Harrisons directly at :- Christmas and a joyful New Year. But, let's explore what I mean by joy ....” 905 Inverness Village, 138 Kionontio Trail Box 1118, Hilton Head, SC 29928 Collingwood, Now I have it. With grateful acknowledgement to Ontario L9Y3Y9, Canada. Teddy Vernon and C.S.Lewis: over Christmas and Or email :- [email protected] throughout 2007 may you all be surprised by joy more often than you dared to hope. There is also a website at :- www.beavervalleyprobus.com Yours, in Probus friendship, which includes a note on the activity group. Colin Holroyd.

Now that we are Organised, what Ready for our Sept 06 start, the secretary had produced the yellow “Programme of Meetings” cards. do we do? I WAS ORGANISED! Thoughts on the role of the TALKS organiser. NOT QUITE! ou will appreciate that my own organisation From the original 7 speakers planned up to Christmas, started at the April 2005 AGM when I was this is the actual end of Term Report. Yasked to arrange the “Talks” from Sept 06 to For a variety of reasons :- April 07, then a span of 2 years. 3 speakers spoke as planned. When best to commence? Starting too soon risked l had been substituted by a new speaker. responses like “ring me back nearer the time” or 2 had been replaced with new speakers and topics. “OK, if I'm still alive”. Starting too late and I was 1 did not show (smoke signal lost in the wind). warned that all the best speakers would be booked up years ahead. What for 2007?? Once the specific Thursday dates had been I can only hope that the 7 speakers will perform as confirmed (no easy task without long dated diaries), I programmed! suppose I bit the bullet about September 05. I had I would like to use this opportunity to thank all our collated a “long-list” of speaker names over the guest speakers for their ready responses to the summer, ranging from personal friends and invitations to come to the Club. It made the acquaintances - press and local authority publications - organisation much easier. I am particularly grateful for inherited ideas from our past Probus talk officers, and those who were late replacements and for the some (then current) suggestions from members. resourcefulness of our Chairman and Club members Rather than offer a range of dates for my early standing in. approaches I started from week one and worked in Your committee has suggested we encourage Club turn through each programme slot. Obviously some members to volunteer themselves, so we can start an feedback did demand a certain flexibility of approach. “emergency reserve register” – to cover late In two cases, a simple switch of “pairs” of speakers unforeseen speaker problems. This would certainly solved the problem. help the Talks Organiser, and guarantee members a In all cases initial contact was by phone to explain “re-organised” meeting. our requirements. Then a letter to confirm agreed date I think I have enjoyed the “Talks Organiser” and topic etc. experience (to date!!) By Feb 06 the committee had a draft programme I would encourage members to consider themselves and in April the Final version was sent to all speakers for future committee nominations. You never know, “for information” - but in reality, to remind them to you might even get elevated and be invited to arrange let me have any visual-aid requirements and their CV the talks programme. some 4 weeks prior to each commitment. This was You would then be able to GET ORGANISED. followed by an individual final letter, to confirm this Mike Gastall feedback.

2 Visits and Social Events, Past and Future

Well fed members and guests at Pitlochry Theatre prepare for the journey home Theatre Trip to Pitlochry, October 18th Annual Lunch 2007 and Beyond hirty eight members and guests enjoyed a day he Annual Luncheon will be on 11th January out at Pitlochry Festival Theatre on 18 2007 in the Winnock Hotel 12:30 for 13:00. TOctober. John Warburton had secured our TThe cost will be £19.50 per person which usual comfortable coach and friendly driver avoiding includes wine and/or soft drinks with the three course the need to drive, though a few members made their meal. own travel arrangements. At the time of writing there were 60 members and A stop was made at the Glass Factory in Perth for guests on the list for lunch. As John Warburton is morning coffee, sticky buns, shopping and other indisposed at present, please contact either Colin important comforts. We then continued on to the Holroyd or Peter Holmes with any queries about the theatre arriving in good time to allow trips over the lunch including additional bookings. notorious swinging bridge for those who wanted to Looking to the future, in May 2007 it is hoped to contribute to the profits of the local shops. Lunch was organise a guided tour of a visitor attraction, within “do as you please” with several options in the theatre one to one and a half hours drive from Drymen. itself and other temptations in the town. Arrangements will be made in the New year. The play, “Man of the Moment” by Alan Editorial team Ayckbourn, was surprisingly topical considering it was first performed in 1988. The subject matter was very relevant to the “Reality TV” of today, though this had The Benefits of Being British not been heard of in 1988. In one memorable scene a character explained how to handle interviews. The y impression, without any supporting techniques described are clearly used by our politicians statistics, is that about a quarter of our today to promote their own agendas and avoid Mmembers hail from airts furth of Scotia. answering the questions put to them! Is this play used Most of these, including me, could be described as by spin doctors for training? The set was to the usual Sassenachs. high Pitlochry standards with a real swimming pool on Next year I will celebrate fifty years living in stage. . I really mean “celebrate” because it was a Following the performance members, guests and move I have never regretted. I was born and brought our coach driver enjoyed afternoon tea in the theatre up in Northumberland within “reiving” distance of restaurant. The good selection of sandwiches and the border. Close enough to spend many walking, cakes proved too much for the party and the plates climbing and bird-watching holidays in Scotland in my were not all cleared. Doggy bags should be carried in teens. So I had some early practical education in future! A comfortable trip back to Drymen was Scotland and the Scots. marred only by a 20 minute hold-up in road works at My first five years north of the border were spent in Perth. . Although not my favourite Scottish city, I Our thanks are due to John Warburton for his usual felt quite at home there. I was pleasantly surprised to flawless organisation of the trip. find I could understand the local east coast dialect Editorial team which shares common Nordic influences with Northumberland. History was also reassuring when I

3 remembered that Edinburgh was once within the British! This is probably the only idea we have in ancient kingdom of Northumbria. Living as I did in common. Fairmilehead on the southern outskirts of the city, it I believe that thinking British has helped me was a short climb up Caerketton Hill - one of the integrate north of the border. However, Marie, my Pentland tops - but still within the city limits. From Scots wife has no doubt helped even more and has the summit on a clear day I could see Cheviot - in purged some of my English arrogance - she thinks! God’s own county - Northumbria! I don’t know if I have always felt a much greater affinity with the many Edinburghers are aware that England is visible northern British than with southerners whose world from their city. Some might not be happy about it - ends at Potter’s Bar. To me it matters not whether but I was! there is a border along the Tweed so far as people are From Edinburgh I moved west to work in Glasgow. concerned. With a surname like mine I would certainly Whenever “birthplace” came up in conversation I was also like to claim to be one of Jock Tamson’s bairns! always careful to identify with Monkseaton rather than This topic does not often come up for discussion the better-known neighbour Whitley Bay, which of with my fellow migrants in Probus or elsewhere and I course, was a popular holiday destination for would like to think this is because their experiences in Glaswegians before they discovered Benidorm! making Scotland their home have been as happy as Over my fifty years in Scotland I have never once mine. Despite all my years in Scotland I wouldn’t felt unwelcome because I am not a Scot. Sadly some presume to lay claim to being more than “Scotch by of my English colleagues who moved north to work absorption”! in Glasgow couldn’t settle, because either they or their David Thompson wives and families sensed hostility towards them. This always puzzled me as Glaswegians are the friendliest Contributions folk. To continue the Newsletter we need contributions. Only in sporting matters did I think of myself as Have you news, views or information to share with English, but even that affinity has diminished in other members? recent times with England’s abysmal failures. In all Have you any items you would like to see included? other ways I have considered myself to be British. Contact Arthur Benns, Peter Smith or any committee Like Gordon Brown I believe we should all think member with your ideas. Editorial team A Note from Your Chairman have been asked by a member to give my development; they are not covered by any understanding as to whether women visitors can be constitutional rule; there is no “custom and Iinvited to attend our Probus Club meetings. I am practice” to guide us here. These small group happy to provide this. outings are suggested by members, to places 1. Our constitution makes it clear that our club is a particularly interesting to members and organised by club for men. This constitutional position is stated individual members. On balance, my personal view on the front page of each year’s is that small group outings should normally be programme/membership list. restricted to men. There is no constitutional issue here and perhaps our practice should be guided by 2. The constitution also makes it clear that the core the majority view of the membership as a whole. I activity provided for members is the programme of would be willing to sound out the views of the meetings arranged for the second and fourth membership at an ordinary meeting early in 2007. Thursdays of each month. Visitors to our ‘core’ meetings should be people who would themselves 5. It is of course possible to change the constitution. be eligible for membership. In my view it would be This can only be done by means that are themselves against the spirit of the constitution to invite women constitutional. A constitutional rule may only be to the regular Thursday meetings. altered at an Annual, or Extraordinary, General Meeting. Any amendment to the constitution 3. Our constitution does not deal with events such as requires the approval of two-thirds of the Theatre Outings, Spring Outings and Annual membership present at a General Meeting. An Luncheons. By “custom and practice” women are Extraordinary General Meeting will only be called invited as the guests of members to these events. by the Secretary on the written request of five The events are planned by your committee to be members, after at least five weeks notice stating the attractive to, and enjoyed by, people of both subject to be discussed. genders. In my view these events are enhanced by the presence of our female guests. I hope this is helpful. I will listen carefully to your views at any time. 4. There is one area where the position is less clear: Colin Holroyd small group outings. These are a recent 4