The St Mary’s 1000+ Appeal

The Newspaper of East Barnet Parish stands at £47,130 3000 FREE copies delivered each month September 2011 Our next fundfund---- raising events: BUMPER CAKE SALE On Sept 17 at BUSINESS AS Brookside Methodist Church JUMBLE ...as search begins to SALE find new Rector for on Sept 24 in the old parish hall, both USUAL East Barnet parish at 10am.

WELL, HE’S GONE. But are we downhearted? No Kruse in the parish office September — because it’s happened before and we survived un- (8361 7524). scathed. We were two years without a priest last time, If you wish to consult an Services: but now all our eyes are on next Easter. Anglican priest please speak to the visiting clergy page 19 After eight years in East Colin Smith. on any Sunday morning. Barnet, Richard Watson The formal process of left in July to begin his seeking a new Rector be- new ministry as Sub Dean gan early in July. Active Put this in your diar y NOW of St Albans Cathedral. recruitment will begin in Legally the post of Rector October, with interviews East Barnet's Parish Panto of East Barnet being held parish is not b e f o r e Richard’s vacant until Christmas. Jack and the Richard takes farewell The earliest up his new post a new Rec- on October 1. feast day: tor is likely Beanstalk In practical to start work Directed by John Savage terms there are p2 and 3. at St Mary’s Performances on now no clergy will be after at St Mary’s. Sunday ser- next Easter. Thurs Feb 9, 7.30pm vices will be covered by In the meantime, the life Fri Feb 10, 7.30pm visiting clergy, or through of St Mary’s continues Sat Feb 11, 3.30pm our ecumenical partner- under the supervision of and 7.30pm ship with Brookside Meth- our churchwardens. For odist Church led by our day to day information and Tickets will be well-loved friend the Revd inquiries contact Anne available before Christmas www.stmarys-eastbarnet.org.uk 2 — Church Hill Herald September 2011 Farewell

This little piggy went to market, feast day and ended up on a spit in our A BUMPER hog roast was our way of saying churchyard! farewell to Richard and Linda Watson on July 15. So many tributes to our departing Rector have already been paid that we have decided to let the camera tell the story of this crackling occasion.

Master chef Peter Kruse gets stuck in to his mouth-watering task.

Some danced the night away...

Our next fund-raising events: BUMPER CAKE SALE Preserves and other goodies 10am on Sept 17 at Brookside Methodist Church (by kind permission of the Revd Colin Smith) Offers to make cakes etc please to Bridget Bowden 8449 4268 JUMBLE SALE 10am on Sept 24 in the old parish hall, Church Hill Road. Church Hill Herald September 2011 —3

Colin Smith proposes a toast to our soon-to-be-absent friends.

A Methodist message from Lyn Forster… and the wisdom of the ages courtesy of Roy Claridge.

A delicious Dalek: Maria Payne presents her imaginative inter-galactic confection. Marie's Shoes Children's Shoe Specialist (With( with over over 20 20 yearsyears experienceexperience in fitting)

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259 East Barnet Road Barnet Gwen Colle says EN4 8SX it with flowers. 020 8441020 84411119 1119 Pictures by John Hawkins [email protected]@btconnect.com 0312 4 — Church Hill Herald September 2011 DRESS 2 Amanda ordained IMPRESS and ten confirmed Fancy Dress Hire Over 160 outfits £10/£20 (small deposit)

RICHLY BLESSED: Richard Bishop Paul posted a fast comment on Watson’s final service at St Mary’s Twitter later the same evening: East Barnet took place on July 18. “Nice Confirmation with Richard F Area Here he is with the ten candidates (one Watson and his fab church. Relaxed (small business) hidden and another with apparently and human holiness, and champagne. two pairs of hands!) who were What’s not to like?” Call Cheryl confirmed by the Bishop of Hertford, Two weeks previously, Amanda the Rt Revd Paul Bayes. Duncan was ordained as a deacon on Also in the picture are Amanda Duncan by the Bishop of St Albans, the Rt 07796347583 (wearing her deacon’s sash) and Becky Revd Alan Smith. [email protected] Leach (third from left), paying a brief With her 11 fellow ordinands, she was return visit to the church where they urged to help “the poor and weak, the trained, and Brookside Methodist sick and lonely, and those who are Minister Colin Smith. oppressed and powerless.” With an 80-strong congregation in In an inspiring sermon by the Rt Revd FRANCE attendance, the ten confirmed were: Stuart Barnes, Abbot of Mucknell Converted French Gemma and John Hawkins, Darren Abbey, Worcs, the ordinands were Farmhouses in Barker, Emma Willis, Yvonne Ward, told that as disciples they were being rural Brittany Martin Wilson, Stefan and Liz “sent into the world to help change it.” Grzesiczek, Ann Taylor and Jo Amanda is due to be ordained to the Extensive gardens and only 5 minute Athanasi. priesthood next year. walk to supermarket. Restaurants and I am a based bars 10-15 minute personal trainer who caters for walk to village. anyone wanting to improve their Cottage and overall health, lose weight or tone annex sleeps 6+, up. The difference is that I come to House sleeps 7. you! Booking now If you are tired of paying for gym from £250 per memberships that you do not use, or you are sick of trying to find space to week exercise in crowded and sweaty gyms, your sessions, all you need is a room Phone John training in the comfort and privacy of in your house and yourself! 07961967464 your own home is what you may be Please contact me for a FREE con- Fiona looking for. sultation or further info. 07713636804 My mission is to help you reach your T: 07932887268 www. own personal potential and feel fantastic about yourself. E: [email protected] lelauriercottage.co.uk 0911 I provide all equipment needed for www.justmefitness.com Church Hill Herald September 2011 —5 Tell me the old story

AT LEAST TWO of my At one level the Bible can be friends admit to having diffi- The Bible’s Old thought of it as a large novel, com- culty with reading what we parable to a lengthy mini-series on call the Old Testament of the Testament is TV. If you knew only the last part, Bible. They wonder about the you would miss the introduction of the characters, the setting, the plot, relevance that 2000-plus year just as crucial and many of the conflicts and de- old writings might have in to- as the New, velopments that make up the theme day’s world, particularly as and the many sub-themes. The we have what we call the New argues ending won't make nearly as much Testament. sense if you haven't read the begin- Whole books have been written Martin Horton ning and the middle. about this subject and in this short article I can only skim the surface. Yes, I admit that there are difficult bits of the Old Testament and for Firstly, we could start with how many people these are on a moral Jesus viewed the Old Testament, or ethical level. after all it was the scripture of his It is easy simply to say that society day. Luke 24: 25-27 tells us that, was different, and the lifestyle re- on the road to Emmaus, Jesus said sulted in an approach to law and social order that doesn’t transfer to the two disciples – “‘Oh, how st foolish you are, and how slow of straightforwardly to our 21 cen- heart to believe all that the proph- tury world and we have to accept ets have declared! Was it not nec- this mismatch of moral frame- essary that the Messiah should suf- works between then and now. fer these things and then enter into But maybe this should be an en- his glory?’ couragement for us to find out more about what these difficult “Then beginning with Moses and passages meant at the time they all the prophets, he interpreted to were written. And that is really them the things about himself in all what the whole Bible is about. It is the scriptures.” about ordinary people getting to And earlier in his ministry, while know God and how he works in Jesus was arguing with the Jewish people's lives and in the world to authorities, John 5: 39 tells us that On the road to Emmaus, Je- bring about his plan. sus interpreted to the two Jesus said: “You search the scrip- followers the things about tures because you think that in Many of our questions and miscon- himself in all the scriptures of them you have eternal life; and it is ceptions about God would disap- the Old Testament. they that testify on my behalf.” pear if we would spend more time salonica, for they welcomed the in the Old Testament. Many people Later, when Paul and the Disciples message very eagerly and exam- find the New Testament easier to were out witnessing to people, they ined the scriptures every day to see understand because it spells out constantly referred to the Old Tes- whether these things were so.” teachings and principles, but the tament. For example, Acts 8: 30-35 Again the scripture they were Old Testament illustrates them ends with: “Then Philip began to checking daily was the Old Testa- through the stories of people's speak, and starting with this scrip- ment, as the New Testament hadn’t lives. The people of that time had ture, he proclaimed to him the even been written at the time. much the same problems as we do. good news about Jesus.” Human nature hasn't changed Or Acts 17: 11 - “These Jews were Is it important for us to read the much centuries. more receptive than those in Thes- Old Testament? 6 — Church Hill Herald September 2011 Early days ——— but planning Christmas NOW can save you cash

“IT’S ONLY September!” I hear you cry. “Surely we don’t have By MARGARET CRANFIELD to think about Christmas this at least use as gift tags. You al- early – it gets earlier and earlier ready know roughly how many every year...” cards and how much paper you Harrods opened its Christmas de- will need – use those catalogues to partment with 149 days to go, and order cards and paper you like. Or the charity catalogues come why not send free ecards , or de- through the letterbox in August. It sign “print it yourself” cards to all seems too strange when (in the- attach to emails, to save on post- selves. Cheaper gifts could be ory at least) it is warm and sunny, age? home-made preserves or sweets, to be planning that far ahead. “Special” cards to close family candles, packs of playing cards, However – when money is short, it members can be expensive – you charity shop finds. is worth planning early. could make them from children’s Food – In Delia Smith’s new Cards and gift wrap – if you are a paintings and photographs, or do Christmas book, she suggests do- good bargain hunter, you will have cross- stitch ones. Gift bags are ing wonderful meals for every day bought these when they were dis- very easy to use for all sizes and from Christmas Eve to Twelfth counted in late December last shapes of presents, and easy to Night. Rather over the top! Decide year! You might also have cut save and recycle next year! now what meals are important, and designs from the front of last Gifts – It’s depressing that by the those for which you have visitors, year’s cards to make your own... or end of January most people don’t and resolve that you will not be remember what Christmas presents serving anything dear or elaborate Something to celebrate? they had. Also, if you spend £10 on the other days. Then call per present on fifteen people, it It is worth filling the freezer; you becomes very costly indeed. So don’t have to cook much as well, now is the time to make a list of and can avoid getting take-aways. E.J.Disco those to whom you usually give I’m not sure whether, as Delia presents. If you decide to cut your claims, it is cheaper to make your Sounds list down or give less expensive own cake and pudding – it is cer- gifts, they may well be relieved at tainly more satisfying, and you not having to spend as much them- have more control over what goes Cass Cycling

Cycle training for people of all ages and abilities, from complete beginners to those who want help to improve their Contact either Ed confidence on the road. 07917 528 454 Whether you want to start commuting to work by bike, or you’d Or Jamie like to get fit but don’t know where to begin, or you’re a parent who wants their child to learn to ride a bike - I can help! 07540 328 313 Fully accredited Great for Birthdays, Bikeability Cycling Instructor with full CRB. Weddings or any Call Andrew Castiglione occasion Very competitive rates on 07889 228585 0811 or email [email protected] Church Hill Herald September 2011 —7 Barnet have several challenging fixtures in September. Bees’ Corner Saturday 3 rd at 3 p.m. at home to Accrington Stanley . Accring- ton reached the League 2 playoffs last year, having been promoted Barnet to league status in 2007 after 44 years. The current Accrington Stanley is a phoenix club which formed after the previous club went FC out of business. Accrington, like Barnet, operate within tight finan- News cial constraints. With th Stephen Saturday 10 at 3 p.m. away to Crewe Alexandra . Crewe went and down to League 2 in 2010 and were nearly in the playoffs last Margaret year. The Alex have provided stern opposition in the past for Bar- Cranfield net, winning the last encounter at Crewe 7 -0! It is hoped we will fare better this time. MOBILE MECHANIC Tuesday 13 th at 7.45 at home to Ply- mouth Argyle . Barnet keeper goalkeeper ...offering a range of Jake Cole has signed for them. They were mobile services at your demoted from League 1 last season. Tre- home or work. sor Kandol, a former Bees player, is also Friendly, reliable service with on trial there. Yannick Bolassie, who re- over 30+ years of car repairs. cently moved to Bristol City, was a big success when he moved to Barnet on loan a couple of years back. No VAT on labour.

th Saturday 17 at 3 p.m. at home to Ox- Servicing to all makes of cars, petrol and diesel, ford United. Oxford were relegated to diagnostics, pre-MOTs and MOTs, timing belts, the Conference in 2006 and promoted brakes, clutches, exhausts, tyres and more! back in 2010. Damien Batt plays for them and Simon Clist is also on their books, but Fantastic deals on servicing at 40% less than main is transfer listed. Barnet's Young Player of dealers’ prices! the Year, Sam Deering, was signed from

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th CONTACT LIAM on:- Saturday 24 at 3 p.m. away to Swin- don Town . Swindon were relegated last [email protected] year after four years in League 1. Their 0208 449 3157 07957 627844 current manager is Paolo di Canio. They have signed Joe Devera, one of our most 07702 068947 0312 promising players. The last game played was in the cup, with Rob Beckwith saves putting the Bees through on penalties in extra BARNET AND DISTRICT time. ATHLETIC CLUB Home ticket prices at the Underhill stadium range from £14 - £21 for LED BY EXPERIENCED COACHES... adults, £13 for concessions and £9 for juniors. Bees Membership gives JOGGING FOR BEGINNERS discounts to these and free entry to Sessions 6pm Wednesdays in under 14s to all league games. (Meet at Littlegrove/St Mary’s School end) The club is organizing coach travel Contact 020 8368 6754 to all away matches this season – or 07976 940 366 see the club website for full details. [email protected] Visit our website www.barnetathletics.org 0811 8 — Church Hill Herald September 2011

Bettina bids a dear old friend a sad French with tears au revoir

IT’S ALWAYS SAD when the “Only recently I was told at Stan- church services, on projects for holidays are over, and this year sted airport that this is allowed youths and the elderly, on their it was especially tearful as I re- now.” credibility and on how up to date turned home from our trip to “It’s also allowed in Paris,” the they are. "Pastoral work should be France without our trusted Toy- lady replied, “but not in Nice.” In qualitative," one of the founders ota. the end, not only the car had to be said of the original idea behind the It died at just 16 years old, be- destroyed but the nail scissors as site, adding they hoped "to stimu- cause I didn’t pay attention for well. So, just in case you’ve got late dialogue to improve pastoral just one second and crashed into some holidays in the South of work". the car in front. France coming up: don’t bring Launched in April, the site has The repair would have cost much your nail scissors. been well received by users. With more than the car was worth, so 25,000 parishes and some 8,000 the insurance decided that it was Bad blood priests registered so far and the time to wave goodbye to our old option to add more, the site's reach banger. On the plus side, the acci- MY DAUGHTER Helen studies is growing. dent happened in trendy St in Germany, and decided to be- While the site has proved a hit Tropez, and after filling in the come a blood donor. with users, reaction from the Ro- necessary forms I sipped a coffee Sadly, although blood is desper- man Catholic Church has been on the famous Place des Lices, ately needed, she was turned more muted. Neither the and enjoyed the rest of the day down. Nobody who spent more archbishop in Berlin nor the Ger- window-shopping, or strolling than six months in the UK be- man conference of bishops wanted over the famous market. tween 1980 and 1996 is allowed to to comment on the website. When we flew back (another donate blood in Germany, and Ratings for priests on the site are plus!) from Nice airport, I was most other countries have similar represented by sheep, whose stopped at the controls because I regulations for blood donors. woolly coats range from white to was carrying a small pair of nail This is because of the risk of car- black to express visually a priest's scissors in my hand luggage. rying and passing on Creutzfeldt– rating. The pope and other promi- “Why is this forbidden?” I asked. Jakob disease (also called mad nent German priests so far sport cow disease). light to middle grey wool. When I checked the internet it Villa ge Jewellers turned out that the UK govern- ment also has banned everybody THE Jewellery Repair Specialists from donating blood who received Chain Repairs a blood donation after 1980. This OSTEOPATHIC Ring Sizing rules out quite a lot of possible Stone Replacement donors, but if you would like to CLINIC Chain Soldering donate, you’ll find more informa- Est. 40 years Jewellery Cleaning tion about donating blood on Restringing http://www.blood.co.uk/ All musculo-skeletal problems * * * * * Watch Repairs Rate your rev OSTEOPATHY Watch Batteries YOU CAN RATE your restau- PHYSIOTHERAPY & Straps Fitted rant meal, your make-up, your MASSAGE * * * * * teacher online — and now, in COUNSELLING Open Tues-Sat 9am-5.30pm Germany, your priest. http://hirtenbarometer.de (the 020 8449 7754 3 Church Hill Road, "shepherds' barometer") is the first East Barnet online platform where priests can 178 East Barnet Road be rated for their performance at (opp. The Alexandra Pub) Tel: 8449 3320 0312 1011 Church Hill Herald September 2011 —9

Tea for two, three, four — or even more!

GET OUT your best china relatives, neighbours, pals from and cutlery, rustle up a scone the bowls club, University of or two or a slice of sponge and the Third Age or local choir sit around for a natter, a bit you could collectively raise of gossip, news or scandal and over £1250. tell them that you are going to If you did that once a fortnight ask each person for a dona- with a different group of tion of £5. Explain that St friends, or even the same Mary’s has this appeal in friends (because it could be- preparation for its reordering come a regular feature of your and improvements. social life), just think how If they are real friends then they much we could raise over a pe- will only be too happy to give riod of months! tal of more than 100 people in you a fiver. Why stop at two No pressure – no targets – no church each Sunday morning friends? Make it a tea party for obligation. three, four or five. You could and evening. If only 50 of you put on a collective venture be- held a tea party for your friends, DICK SELBY (appeal organiser ) tween a few of you and invite many. You can call it ‘ Tea for Two’, ‘Tea at Three’, ‘Pour at Four’ . If you invite five friends around for tea you will gather in £25 as a donation to the Appeal. There are up to a combined to-

1011

0212 10 — Church Hill Herald September 2011

Come and join St Mary’s Caring for the Church Club for youngsters Sunday’s Cool carers in song for stories, drama, games, BARNET Carers Centre is presenting ‘An Early Autumn music and computers. Evening of Music and Song’ with Barnet Voices to raise funds for the borough’s unpaid carers, who help to care All children welcome from for elderly relatives, friends or children with special needs. ages 4 to 11 at the YMCA • There are 28,000 carers in Barnet, 1,000 under the age of 18. Youth Club in Church Farm They each save the NHS £15,260 a year. (just behind the church). • For young carers their role can isolate them from their peers and affect their ability to make friends and receive education. Fun starts at 10am and lasts • Only 15 per cent seek help or support. The vast majority are about an hour when the struggling with their responsibilities. children go into church and • Barnet Carers Centre provides information, advice and sup- show the adults what they port. The centre is in touch with 5,000 carers, 390 of them un- have been doing. der 18. The evening starts at 7pm at Methodist Church, Sunday’s Cool is usually on Ballards Lane (corner of Essex Park), on Saturday Octo- the second and fourth Sunday ber 22. Tickets are £7 including a buffet. Call 8343 9698 for in the month. tickets or email [email protected] To check dates, please ring the BARNET VOICES (formerly Barnet Madrigal Society) was formed some forty years ago. The choir performs music from Parish Office on 8361 7524. the 16th century and from the present day.

BROOKS

1111 ChurchChurch Hill Hill Herald Herald December September 2010— 2011 —11 11 Do you know your London?

DO YOU, as the song goes, denomination does love London town — or do JOEY O’REILLY’s Cathedral belong? you regard it as simply a Herald Quiz crowded urban sprawl south 12: Where is Dick of our leafy , full of Whittington’s Stone? sights you’ve seen but rarely bother to visit again? Try 13: Which famous sporting these questions. venue is in London SW19?

1: In Piccadilly Circus, on 14: Which opera house stands which of his legs is Eros in Rosebery Avenue, standing? ?

2: How many lions sit at the 15: Where is the Ceremony of foot of Nelson’s Column? the Keys held every night at seven minutes to 10? 3: What is the name of the long straight road leading from 16: Which famous cricket Admiralty Arch to Buckingham ground is in St John’s Wood? Palace? 17: In the East End, as what is 4: In which park is the Middlesex Street better known? Serpentine? See Question 18 18: Where is Karl Marx buried? 5: Which football team plays its home games at Craven Cottage? statue of Shakespeare 19: Which spectacular street surrounded by dolphins? parade is held in London every 6: Beside which bridge is a November? statue of Boadicea, or Boudica 9: Which road leads from as she is now known? Trafalgar Square to Big Ben? 20: Name a big London road whose name contains SIX 7: Where in London is Poets’ 10: Which park adjoins London consecutive consonants. Corner? Zoo?

8: In which square is there a 11: To which religious Answers on page 18

East Barnet Residents Association (incorporating Friends of Oak Hill Park) Web: eastbarnet.org e-mail: [email protected] Phone: 020 8441 8096 We invite all residents to join our association. We continually monitor planning applications and have successfully rejected mobile phone masts, unsuitable housing developments, and a floodlit golf driving range in the park. We have helped keep post offices open, and encouraged better law and order, better recreation facilities… The more members we have the more important we can be. Membership is only £2 per year per household, and includes four newsletters a year and full access to the website. 0911 12 — Church Hill Herald September 2011 Thank God you can find time to laugh!

SOME CRUCIAL IF electricity comes from electrons, does morality come QUESTIONS from morons?

CAN YOU cry under water? WHY do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal in- HOW important does a person jection? have to be before they are considered assassinated instead WHY doesn't Tarzan have a of just murdered? beard?

WHY does a round pizza WHY does Superman stop bul- come in a square box? lets with his chest, but duck when you throw a revolver at WHAT disease did cured ham him? actually have? WHY did Kamikaze pilots WHY is it that people say wear helmets? they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two WHOSE idea was it to put an 'S' hours? in the word 'lisp'?

EXPERIENCED WHY do toasters always have IF people evolved from apes, LADIES’ a setting that burns the toast to why are there still apes? a horrible crisp, which no de- HAIRDRESSER cent human being would eat? WHY is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the for the housebound and WHY does Goofy stand bubbles are always white? OAPs can now visit you erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both WHY is it that no plastic bag at home for perms, will open from the end on shampoo and sets and dogs! your first try? blow waves. IF corn oil is made from corn, Moderate prices. and vegetable oil is made WHEN we are in the supermar- Tel: 8245 6488 from vegetables, what is baby ket and someone rams our ankle Mobile: 07960 857 096 0711 oil made from? with a shopping cart then apolo- gizes for doing so, why do we say, “It's all right?” It isn't all

1111 right, so why don't we say, “That really hurt, so why don't you watch where you're go- ing?”

WHY is it that whenever you attempt to catch something If you are thinking of buying or selling please call Tony Eade to that's falling off the table you see how our network of offices can help you. always manage to knock something else over?

Church Hill Herald September 2011 - 13 A FATHER was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, “I know what And now for a the Bible means!” His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you know what the Bible means?” little bit of holy “It's easy, Daddy,” the boy replied excitedly, “It stands for Basic Information Before Leaving Earth. humour! ======A VERY gracious lady was ANOTHER vicar told his front of the bus, the back of posting an old family Bible congregation: “I have good the church, and the centre to her brother in another news and bad news. of attention. “The good news is, we have part of the country. ======enough money to pay for our new “Is there anything breakable in A MINISTER queued to here?” asked the post office building programme. The bad news is, it's still out there in your have his car filled with assistant. pockets.” (This was, of course, petrol just before the August “Only the Ten Command- NOT St Mary’s!) bank holiday weekend. ments” answered the lady. ======The attendant told him: ======A SUNDAY school teacher “Reverend, it seems as if eve- WHEN you carry the Bible, began her lesson with a ques- ryone waits until the last min- Satan gets a headache.... tion, “Boys and girls, what do ute to get ready for a long When you open it, he we know about God?” trip.” collapses..... When he sees A hand shot up in the air. “He’s The minister replied: “I know you reading it, he faints..... an artist!” said a boy. “Really? what you mean. It's the same When he sees that you are How do you know?” the teacher in my business.” living what you read, he asked. “You know - Our Father, flees! who does art in Heaven…” PEOPLE want to be at the ======THERE ARE only two kinds of people in the world. Complementary Therapies There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good A friendly welcome awaits you at the new Clinic now open morning, Lord,” and those who at Purism Hair & Beauty, 8 Church Hill Road, wake up and say “Good lord, it's East Barnet, EN4 8TN morning.” ======Professionally qualified and registered therapist working A VICAR left his car in a with patients to relieve stress and achieve change. no-parking zone. He put a note under the Treatments: Reflexology, CKT, acupuncture, Indian head windscreen wiper that read: “I massage, nutrition, facial rejuvenation, acupuncture. have circled the block ten times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my Help with fertility issues and hormone balancing, allergies, appointment. Forgive us our stress, digestive disorders, back pain, migraines and more. trespasses.” When he returned, he found a summons from a police officer Call Maria for an appointment: along with this note: “I've circled 078796 12870 this block for ten years. If I don't Web: mindbodyandsole.net give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.” Maria Aristidou BSc (Hons), CKT, MAR, MCMA Thanks to Baz Swain 1111 14 — Church Hill Herald September 2011 As I See It THE VINE CHRISTIAN BOOKSHOP & GIFTS By Editor Mike Pearce

GOD FORBID that I should cross swords with my colleague and friend Martin Horton (‘Tell me an old story’, page 5), but some bits of the Old Testament I just can’t take seriously. 37 CHURCH HILL ROAD I am reluctant to accept, for instance, that Noah filled his ark EAST BARNET with creatures ranging from the polar bear to the kangaroo. How would he have sailed to both the EN4 8SY Arctic and Australia? How did Samson slaughter a thousand Philistines with only Tel/Fax: 020 8216 3778 the jawbone of an ass as a Email: [email protected] weapon? A Kalashnikov, maybe, if one had been invented… Then there’s Balaam’s talking We sell Bibles/Christian books/ donkey… and so much more to Cards/Gifts/Posters/Music books/CDs & DVDs provoke a disbelieving scoff. Open Tues to Sat 10:30am—5:00pm The OT is both a history book and (Closed on Monday) a collection of legends. Nevertheless, it contains much

FREE beauty, as in the Psalms, and GOD enough wisdom from the Prophets IS Parking at to get any sceptic thinking. But look — just follow Jesus. LOVE Rear 0312 That’s all you need to do. The rest is peripheral. ESTABLISHED IN EAST BARNET SINCE 1999 SOPRANO SOLOIST HURCHILL Linda Wener To sing at weddings C FAMILY FUNERAL DIRECTORS S and funerals Extensive repertoire A caring 263 East Barnet Road EN4 8SX Professionally and Tel: 8440 1413 trained personal www.barnetfuneraldirectors.co.uk 01582 833500 for details and CD service 24-hour service Eco and Private chapel of rest environmentally Hear Linda on at all Home arrangements friendly funerals www.solosoprano.co.uk times on request Horse-drawn hearse Email: www.barnetfuneraldirectors.co.uk Prepaid funeral plans available [email protected] 0312 263 East Barnet Road, EN4 8SX 0312 Church Hill Herald September 2011 — 15

Crossword Compiled by Anne Williams

Note; X has the same … ran away. (8) meaning throughout. 23. This covers much of 20 and 21. (4) Across 24. … and war made 1. X is a nut. (6) this X. (6) 5. Graduate with half-life is X. (4) Down 9. Song of NZ birds go 2. Maria is surprised - X back to ancient X.(8) is back inside. (6) 10. North or west - yes, it 3. Street guide holds up is X. (6) one doctor then begins 11. Hospital room holds by weighing eggs. Result one unknown with is X. (8) railway magic. (8) 4. Vivid old city held in 12. Uncovered, alone box top. (5) holding exercises. (6) 6. Half open over Indian 15. Sound of bells asking ruler. (4) a question. (6) 7. Is old overturned king 18. Tailless fish first an X? (6) 8. Grand one in USA. (6) class in X. (8) many cats feet? (6) sive car goes fast. (5) 20. I heard a line of 13. I ’ope Thai turns into X. (8) 17. Politician in the sea is 21. X is a home for people swallowed X. (6) inclined …(6) foxes.(4) 22. Newspaper covered 14. X is an overcoat. (6) 16. Stops; sound of very 19. ...but expert in expen- Solution on p18

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widest possible diversity of background, culture Please call JOHN 0777 6366437 0911 and experience. 1009 16 — Church Hill Herald September 2011 YOUR HOME AND GARDEN For best results, consult these local experts

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ST MARY’S INDEPENDENT GREEK Crossword SCHOOL St Mary’s CE Primary School, Littlegrove, East Barnet, EN4 8SR solution

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0812 Church Hill Herald September 2011 —19

Church Services for Autumn Services are sometimes subject to alteration. Please contact the Parish Office for more details.

Sunday September 4 Sunday October 16 TRINITY 11 TRINITY 17 10am All Age Eucharist 10am Sung Communion 6.30pm Evensong 6.30pm Evensong

Sunday September 11 Sunday October 2 Sunday October 23 TRINITY 12 TRINITY 15 DEDICATION 10am Sung Eucharist 10am Messy Mass / All Age (Bible Sunday) 7pm broken/ (alt. service) Eucharist 10am Shared Eucharist 6.30pm Evensong 6.30pm Evensong Sunday September 18 TRINITY 13 Sunday October 9 Sunday October 30 10am Sung Eucharist TRINITY 16 ALL SAINTS 6.30pm Evensong 10am Sung Eucharist 10am Sung Eucharist 7pm broken/ (alt. service) 6.30pm Evensong Sunday September 25 HARVEST 10.45am Harvest Service at Brookside Methodist Church TODDLER 6.30pm Sung Eucharist at St Mary’s Church PRAISE From the registers Bible story with song, Baptisms June 26 Emma and Stephen prayer and play Mayes, Harry Smith July 10 Darren and Scarlet UNDER-FIVES AND THEIR PARENTS, Barker July 31 Darren, Leah and Adam GRANDPARENTS OR CARERS Posselt, Lily Bellinger ARE INVITED TO JOIN US

Weddings St Mary’s Church 10.30 to 11.45am, June 26 Neil Smith and Ellie Thursdays Sept 8 & 22, Oct 6 & 20 Neophytou July 9 Luke Sutcliffe and Laura Contact Claire Driscoll for info: 07957 584516 Wharton July 30 Kevin Oliver and Julia Nott

August 5 Peter Dossett and Church Hill Herald advertisements Samantha Hort Rates are available from the editor and advertising manager. Telephone 8361 5823 , email [email protected] Funerals Advertisements will be placed after receipt of payment. Please May 28 Florence Warrington send cheques, made payable to ‘St Mary’s Church’, to the Parish May 31 Dorothy Whitmee Office (address back page). No invoices can be issued, but re- June 1 Rebecca Nichols ceipts will be sent by email if wished. Advertisements are ac- June 17 Baby Anais Scott cepted in good faith, but neither St Mary’s Church, nor its clergy, July 14 Nicki Wynzar members or officers, are responsible for their content and cannot July 19 Alan Proctor be involved in any dispute arising from them. 20 — Church Hill Herald September 2011 St Mary’s Church: At your service

PARISH CO-ORDINATOR: Mrs Anne Kruse ASSOCIATE MINISTER (Methodist) St Mary's Parish Office is in Brookside Methodist The Revd Colin Smith Church, 2 Cat Hill, East Barnet EN4 8JB. Please contact through Parish Office (see left) Tel: 8361 7524 [email protected] DIRECTOR OF MUSIC: Mr Andrew Earwaker, . Tel: 8591 8212 Mobile: 07518 277 056 RECTOR (PARISH PRIEST) [email protected] Position vacant Church website: CHURCHWARDENS: stmarys-eastbarnet.org.uk Mr Jon Simpson 8361 7030 Mrs Chris Mears 8368 6200

READER (LAY MINISTER) Mr Martin Horton, Baptisms and weddings may be booked 38 West Walk, EN4 8NU through the parish office, Tel: 8368 6341 telephone 8361 7524 (address above). [email protected]

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