UUPCC International Partnership Handbook

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Unitarian Universalist Partner Church Council

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Unitarian Universalist Partner Church Council P.O. Box 88 Bedford, MA 01730-0088 USA Phone: 781-275-1710 Email: [email protected]

www.uupcc.org

First Printing: June 2006 Printed in the U.S.A.

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Dedication

The effectiveness of this movement is due to the thousands of Unitarian Universalists in the United States and Canada and their partners around the world who together have created the bonds of friendship that form new global communities. This book is dedicated to each and every one of you who share the joy of international relationships.

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Table of Contents

Foreward ...... vii Theological Foundations of Partnership ...... ix Act of Religious Tolerance and Freedom ...... ix The Value of Travel ...... x About the UUPCC ...... xi

SECTION ONE

Guidelines for Church Partnerships ...... 1 UUPCC Guidelines for Church Partnerships ...... 2 Building the Foundation of Partnership ...... 4 Creating a Sustainable Partnership ...... 6 Maintaining a Healthy Partnership ...... 10

SECTION TWO

Becoming a Partner ChurchÃ Building the Foundation ...... 13 Start-up Steps to Partnership ...... 14

SECTION THREE

Creating A Sustainable Partnership ...... 19 Designing a Communications Strategy to Maintain the Connection ...... 21 Creating a Presence in Your Church ...... 28

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Covenants—Making Promises to Each Other ...... 30 Sample Covenants ...... 32 Co-Creating a Sustainable Partnership ...... 34 Travel ...... 38 Keeping the Partnership Alive in Your Church ...... 40

SECTION FOUR

Creating World Community ...... 43 Community Capacity Building—Empowering Communities for Action ...... 44 Other Stories About Partnerships ...... 46 Denver—Kövend ...... 47 Honolulu—Caiman ...... 49 Chicago—Kénos ...... 51 Toronto—Budapest ...... 53 Fairfax—Puriang ...... 54 East Shore—Torockószentgyörgy ...... 62 Fairfax—Szentgerice ...... 73 Bedford—Abásfalva ...... 86 A Brief History of the Partner Church Council ...... 102

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Forward

he partner church movement has touched the lives of thousands of peo- Tple and has joined communities together in a first step to building a world community. The Unitarian Universalist Partner Church Council now works with over 180 churches partnered in six countries. Institutions, individual/ family members and the Unitarian Universalist Association provide the financial support for UUPCC. In 2002, then UUPCC President David Keyes formed a task force. Their charge was to review where we had been in partnership development and to make recommendations about partnering in right relationship. This book is the outcome of that effort. Much of the information here is based on years of partnerships in Transylvania, but the focus is on providing advice for the North American partner independent of the geographic location of your partner. One result of this study has been to seek practical, effective ways for partners to be in right relationship and support for each other. Pilot studies in 2005 and 2006 in the process of community capacity building have been quite successful in identifying a way for the North American partner to be supportive and not create dependencies.

This handbook presents those lessons learned in order to help all congregations strengthen ties to their international partner. These partnerships provide us all with the means to take positive action and grow relationships that can build a better world-one partnership at a time. Included within are case histories of churches in long-term sustained partnerships, the components of healthy partnerships, and the Guidelines for Church Partnerships developed through a three-year research project. The Partner Church Web site (www.uupcc.org) is also an invaluable resource for up- to-the minute information and guidance. This project and this resulting handbook were made possible by the generous support of the Fund for Social Responsibility of the Unitarian Universalist Funding Program.

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This handbook has been the work of many, many people since its inception. First and foremost, the Fairness and Awareness Task Force is responsible for a major portion of the book. While the entire committee wrote and commented on the text of the report, Tom Fox and Barbara Weber took the notes and gave it order and substance. Charleen Belsom Zelmer compiled hundreds of pages of old documents and indexed them so that we could find the pieces that would be helpful. Lisa Gillespie put it on the web so that we could work with it in our various locations. Dot Bergin, Pat Rodgers and Eileen Higgins read, edited, rewrote and commented to help it make more sense. Contributing writers include Cathy Cordes, Leon Hopper, Elizabeth deMille Barnett, Amanda McGregor, and Laura Nagel. Elizabeth Hacala selected the photos and created the collages that added faces to this book. Finally, Nancy Daugherty took our words and pictures and turned it into a book with her design and layout. This truly was a community project and The UU Partner Church Council is grateful to all those who worked to produce this handbook. We are most grateful to the Fund for Unitarian Universalism and the UU Funding Program for the grant that made the work of the task force and this book possible. We hope that you find it useful in guiding your partnership.

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Theological Foundations of Partnership

ery early in our history as a separate religious body we insisted that “Vcreedal statements are not the proper basis for religious fellowship; more than that, that theological diversity is not only to be tolerated, but to be embraced as a good thing. This attitude, deeply rooted in our past, is part of our definition of what we stand for and hence who we are. We assert the right and duty of each one of us to adhere to his or her understanding of religious truth, and we accept the obligation to respect one another, even if we do not always agree. Some of us may be theists, some humanists; some may cherish Christian symbols and definitions of the human condition, others may find that the Christian tradition no longer speaks to them. We believe deeply in the capacity of men and women of good will to walk together in religious fellowship, despite doctrinal differences. It is a deeply held conviction that it is possible to respect and even love our companions despite theological disagree- ments. Is this not what the statement of Principles and Purposes, approved in 1985 by the General Assembly, was trying to say in these words: ‘We covenant to affirm and promote … acceptance of one another.’ In short, to Amos’s question: Can two walk together except they be agreed? Liberals reply: Yes, they can walk together despite the disagreement. And liberals often go a step further, to say that diversity of opinion is a good thing, which can be a source of creativity, even of life itself.” “So the principle of the toleration of diversity has become axiomatic with us. But principle and practice are two different things. It is hard to live up to high principles without ever faltering; and we must admit that some of the most dramatic moments in our history have occurred when our tolerance of diversity wore very thin, and we were challenged to live up to the principles we proclaimed.” —Conrad Wright from Walking Together

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Act of Religious Tolerance and Freedom

From the Diet at Torda, 1568 Convened by King John Sigismond of Transylvania

“His majesty, our Lord, in what manner he—together with his realm— legislated in the matter of religion at the previous Diets, in the same matter now, in this Diet, reaffirms that in every place the preachers shall preach and explain the Gospel each according to his understanding of it, and if the congregation like it, well. If not, no one shall compel them for their souls would not be satisfied, but they shall be permitted to keep a preacher whose teaching they approve. Therefore none of the superintendents or others shall abuse the preachers, no one shall be reviled for his religion by anyone, according to the previous statutes, and it is not permitted that anyone should threaten anyone else by imprisonment or by removal from his post for his teaching. For faith is the gift of God and this comes from hearing, which hearings are by the word of God.”

The Value of Travel

Excerpt from Why We Travel: A Love Affair with the World, by Pico Iyer

“We travel, initially to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves. We travel to open our hearts and eyes and learn more about the world than our newspapers will accommodate. We travel to bring what little we can, in our ignorance and our knowledge, to those parts of the globe whose riches are differently dispersed. And we travel, in essence, to become young fools again— to slow time down and get taken in, and fall in love once more. “For if every true love affair can feel like a journey to a foreign country, where you can’t quite speak the language, and you don’t know where you are going, and you’re pulled ever deeper into an inviting darkness, every trip to a foreign country can be a love affair, where you’re left puzzling over who you are and whom you’ve fallen in love with. ... All good trips are, like love, about being carried out of yourself and deposited in the midst of terror and wonder.”

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About the UUPCC

he Unitarian Universalist Partner Church Council is a grassroots organ- Tization founded in 1993 by people in church partnerships in the United States and Canada. Our mission is to foster and support partner church relationships between North American congregations and congregations in all other countries where partnering is sought and welcomed. The UUPCC believes international engagement is a moral and spiritual principle that enhances Unitarian Universalist congregational life. Global partnerships can be the first step to building a world community. The experiences shared by partners are transformational, increasing our awareness of the interdependency of all people and our common justice struggles for human rights, social justice and happiness. Since its founding, the UU Partner Church Council (UUPCC) has matched and supported North American churches in partnerships. By forming positive connections with fellow Unitarian and Universalist congregations around the world, our purpose is to: ® BE the bridge that connects our congregations with the world. ® REACH across all boundaries to collaborate with old and new partners. ® CREATE transformational opportunities for pilgrimage and hospitality, for learning and for service. ® CHALLENGE ourselves theologically and open ourselves to changed values and behaviors. ® INITIATE partnerships that promote global friendships, international awareness, human rights and a better world. ® SUSTAIN this global vision, renewing it as “new occasions teach new duties.”

Never before in human history has the need for international understanding and engagement been greater than it is today. Never before has it

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been more important to encourage global connections. The UUPCC is committed to making international engagement a moral and spiritual principle of UU congregational life. The sixth principle of the Unitarian Universalist Association calls for member congregations to affirm and promote, “…the goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all.” UUPCC believes that international partnerships offer an opportunity to connect directly with those in cultures different from our own and to learn together how to build global communities for a healthy world. UUPCC exists to support your congregation in discovering the joy of transformative relationships. This handbook is offered as a guide to developing and sustaining partnership.

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SECTION ONE

Guidelines for Church Partnerships

Developed by the Economic Fairness and Awareness Task Force of the UU Partner Church Council

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INTERNATIONAL PARTNERSHIP HANDBOOK

UUPCC Guidelines for Church Partnerships

Introduction he Unitarian Universalist Partner Church Council, affiliated with the TUnitarian Universalist Association, is pleased to offer the following guidelines for churches that are considering partnership relationships with churches from other countries, particularly where the partnership is likely to involve financial relationships. These guidelines are directed primarily at North American churches that are UUPCC members. The research that produced these guidelines focused on partnerships between North American UU churches and Unitarian churches in Transylvania, Romania. We hope that these guidelines will be useful for other church partnerships involving other denom- inations and countries. In creating these guidelines for the UUPCC, a task force to carry out research on “Economic Fairness and Awareness” was created. It interviewed sixty people from ten partnerships, thirty from the US church and thirty from the Transylvanian partner. There were then seven focus groups of people involved in partnerships, four in different regions of the United States and three in Transylvania. Regional meetings were held in both the US and Transylvania to review these guidelines in draft form. This final version of the guidelines incorporates feedback from these regional meetings. It was presented to the UUA General Assembly in June 2005. The task force on Economic Fairness and Awareness recommended to the UU Partner Church Council that its mandate be interpreted as exploring the use of money in a way that promotes the healthiest possible partnership relationship between the two churches. In other words, its focus was on developing and sustaining the individual partnerships, not developing mechanisms that would equalize the benefits of partnerships across the entire range of Transylvanian and American churches. The task force’s focus has been the health and sustainability of the individual partnerships, particularly as it might be affected by the transfer and use of money.

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As will be obvious from the following guidelines, the task force has followed several critical principles that congregations must address as explicitly as possible. Congregations in partnership must work to: • Preserve and protect the long-term health and sustainability of the partnership; • Ensure reciprocity and equal commitment between the partners; • Through constant and multiple means of communication, strive for the deepest and broadest possible partnership, particularly given our shared faith, however differently it has evolved; and, • Ensure that money and other economic relationships don’t dominate and overwhelm the other, more profound manifestations of the partnership.

Finally, guidelines are just that, guidelines. The following guidelines are the result of the task force members’ examinations of the interview data and their analysis, in their best judgment, of what has and has not worked in previous and current partner church partnerships. At the UUPPC, we certainly understand that these guidelines may not fit all partnerships’ needs. Still, we urge all congregations to review these guidelines and the principles that underlie them as they work together in partnership. While these guidelines appear structured for partnerships just starting up, they are equally relevant to existing partnerships as a tool for review and assessment and mid-course correction. The Transylvania Unitarian Church has expressed an interest in developing parallel guidelines for the Transylvanian partners.

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Building the Foundation of Partnership

tart building your foundation at the very beginning, both within your S own congregation and with your prospective partner. Some “mistakes” are virtually impossible to undo, so put a lot of effort into the groundwork. All congregations should periodically review the UUPCC material for new partners, especially “Growing Relationships” and “Start Up Questions.” Have conversations about your vision of partnership with your partner. Discuss what each partner seeks in partnership. How are the two congregations going to be in relationship? What are the theological underpinnings of the partnership? Start a process of equal involvement in decision-making with mutual determination of goals. A congregation-to-congregation partnership needs more than a single relationship. Several people in each congregation should be involved, including youth who are more likely to overcome barriers of language and communications technology than their elders. In these initial conversations, both parties need to be aware of differences in how the two parties may view the partnership. Americans often believe it is about helping these “poor” people; their need is so great, and we are struck by their need and truly want to do something about it. Transylvanians more often want true friendship (with or without money) that is a real community (individual by individual) commitment. They know they need the money too, and are accustomed to money flowing from west to east, but want something more soul satisfying for them and for us. Don’t make assumptions that your partner church’s culture is like yours. Be open to listening carefully. The work of partnership is knowledge, understanding and acceptance of your partner’s history, culture, customs, and theology. Be sensitive to differences when explaining your culture, theology and customs. These differences may be more acute in partnerships involving a rural Transylvanian community and an urban American partner. Also, it is essential to be prepared to discuss the theological differences that certainly exist between North America and Transylvania.

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Create a process to define and celebrate the theological underpinnings of the partnership. Include theological reflection in your partner church activities. Money is not always needed to be part of the partnership’s interaction. Leading the relationship with gifts of money may create unhealthy dependency and paternalistic relationships. Large amounts of money (over $500 USD) have a very big impact. We should always be thinking about the potential of money and how it will impact the relationship. Be prepared to openly explore the role of money early in the relationship. First expenditures of money should be for relationship building: communication (frequent and regular personal contact via email, phone calls, and letters), travel and quality translation. Use all means of communication as frequently as possible. Other early expenditures of money could include joint training for cross-cultural awareness, technology for communications support, or consensual decision-making, with a particular priority for communications technology (Internet). Always consider the sustainability of any project before you begin. The history of charitable flow of money from West to East has created an expectation of charity and an unhealthy dependence on the charity model. Ask questions. Can the project be continued in the long term? Is it too dependent on particular individuals? What are the long-term effects?

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Creating a Sustainable Partnership evelop an ongoing vision of a shared sustainable partnership. Evaluate D decisions and activities against this vision. Work towards the creation of a written covenant that describes how the congregations agree to be together and what they each seek from the partnership. Talk about who will be responsible for having these discussions. Define what each partner needs to maintain the partnership. Talk together about the impact of money and economic issues on the relationship. Create a rolling wish list. Share your dreams and prioritize together. Recognize that partnerships have different phases. Partnership is not a static relationship. As congregations, ministers and lay leadership changes, the relationship will go through changes and may include aspects of various stages. New people should review “Start Up” material. Acknowledge the constantly shifting context: cultural, political and economic. We need to be educated and aware of how these changes impact our partnership. Develop and seek out workshops on issues important to partnerships. Involve ministers, lay leaders, youth and the congregation as a whole to ensure depth and breadth of partnership. Creating a partnership council within each partner church helps to solidify and broaden the church’s commitment to the partnership. Incorporate partnership into Sunday services and religious education programs. Support youth and/or choir involvement in visits and activities. Trips are important. Some specific guidelines for the American partners follow: • Learn some Hungarian! This is a way of expressing respect for our partner and helps us make a statement about our commitment in a way that is not materialistic. • Review the UUPCC Travel Guide before every trip. Have conversations about money with your committee and your fellow travelers before you go. Realize that when you get to a village, you may be emotionally overwhelmed. Recognize that responses to these feelings are best handled through the partnership. If you respond to

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a need for money to one person, it may not be appropriate or may be perceived as being unfair. • Our partners would like North Americans to stay longer to experience everyday life; they sometimes feel that American visitors are more tourists than long-term partners. View your visit as a sort of pilgrimage. • When you visit observe current fair compensation guidelines for room and board. (The 2005 standard of UUPCC Travel is $15 per person / per night for bed and breakfast. An additional $10 per day is added if travelers are eating lunch and dinner with their hosts. This is automatically paid as part of your trip expenses if you are traveling with UUPCC.) By making similar contributions we will minimize the financial burden of the visit and will be supporting fair compensation among our hosts. • Pace yourself. Do not make promises in the heat of the moment with individuals or within the partnership. Our culture of positive thinking and problem solving does not necessarily translate in the reality of our partners’ lives. Remember that you and your congregation are in this for the long haul. • Recognize that the generosity of others is not always measured in dollars and cents. Understand the importance of gifts and be openly grateful. The gifts you receive come from the giver’s substance and not from their abundance. • Try to ensure reciprocal travel opportunities for ministers, lay leaders and youth from both congregations. Consider creating long-term travel goals and a travel fund to facilitate future trips.

Be open about money. Gifts to the church should be sent to the minister and lay president of the congregation. Individuals should not make significant contributions to individuals without discussion within the local partner church committee and the partner church minister. Exchange information about decisions related to expenditures and income. Ask them how they make decisions and raise money for the church. Define who makes financial decisions about giving/funding and receiving/funding. Address the Transylvanian sense of inequity and indebted-

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ness to their North American partners. Encourage Transylvanian contributions to the partnership (financial or otherwise). Create mutually agreeable systems for accounting. Find out what kind of accounting system is used before negotiating about how to do accounting for any project. Make clear agreements about financial reporting, so the provider has reasonable assurance on how the money will be spent; but don’t go overboard on complicated accounting and financial reporting practices. Define targeted funds clearly in agreement with your partner. Differentiate between giving money and saying “here’s the money, give it to the needy,” and giving the money and saying “create a project/ program to help the neediest.” Ask for feedback and information and be open to trying to understand the impact of the money. Support capital projects, rather than core operating costs. This approach is more conducive to a sustainable partnership. Undesignated money does not encourage a sustainable relationship. Don’t give money in a way that encourages long-term dependency on your money for a project, salaries, etc. Consider creating a matching funds/labor/services model. Have a mutually agreed upon end point for capital projects. Discuss the impact of regular ministerial salary subsidies and/or annuity supplements. This may not be sustainable and should become the responsibility of your partner church. Contributions to the operating budget of the church could be used, if desired, towards minister salaries. Mutually establish a program for scholarships; think beyond academic degrees to vocational training/trade school, etc. There are many successful models in existence. Ask your partner to identify a model that will work for their community. Support English language training for all ages, as this enhances job opportunities and is vital for communication. (Again, this issue is a high priority for our Transylvanian partners.)

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Step back to evaluate thoughtfully. Keep and review records to maintain institutional memory of your partnership. Broaden and deepen the relationship by including others. Review your religious foundations. Develop an awareness of and act in accordance with one’s values. When in doubt, try to do no harm to the relationship. If a problem develops, avoid the mindset that more money will lead to a solution; instead, mentor critical thinking, truth seeking and justice making.

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Maintaining a Healthy Partnership

iscuss your vision of partnership or re-covenant whenever there are D ministerial changes in either church or any sense of need for renewal. Anticipating and then carefully managing successions of ministers is critically important. Maintain active congregational interest through organized and moti- vated lay leadership, active ministerial support and involvement by all age groups in the congregation. Work to pass leadership and participation in partner church activities to others in your congregation. Minimize the effect of internal congregational politics on relationships. Prioritize relationship building over economic development. Projects should not take on more importance than the discovery of friendship, commitment, and religious fellowship. Work to maintain the integrity of partnership between congregations. When both partners seem ready and there is good communication and a strong foundation of trust, consider initiating or supporting large projects or community economic development. Continue to use joint decision-making and joint fundraising. Creating dependency is undesirable. Don’t expect churches, lay leaders or ministers to manage complex projects. Work together to create appropriate organizations to carry out/manage the work. Ensure the organization has the capacity to do it. Be careful not to reinvent programs that are in existence. Do research and make a critical business plan when considering a large project. Consider creating a charitable foundation and/or support for social programs in the community at the suggestions of your partner church which address broad based community needs. Explore collaboration with churches in the same region. This information is available on the UUPCC web site.

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Reassess existing programs periodically with your partner. Use the “Characteristics of an Effective Partnership” as a basis of your evaluation: 1. There should be equal involvement in decision-making from both partners, with mutual determination of goals and collaboration on project design and implementation. 2. The relationship should be reciprocal in that each partner gains in some way from the other-economically, spiritually, or otherwise. 3. A sense of mutual trust and respect should exist between the partners, as is necessary for any healthy relationship to grow. 4. The partners must encourage open communication and cooperation, striving to understand one another’s backgrounds and perspectives as well as to learn from their differences. 5. There should be elements of capacity building and knowledge sharing in the relationship, building on the principles of mutuality and reciprocity and helping each partner to grow. 6. The partners should be both flexible and structured in their organization, able to adapt to new situations and circumstances as well as remain true to their missions. Seek help from UUPCC if the partnership runs into problems or is in crisis. The UUPCC Executive Director, Executive Committee members and Networkers have experience with partners who have used mediation to work out conflicts or mutual separations. Celebrate milestones and events together. Share your success on the UUPCC Chat and in the newsletter, so we can learn from each other.

UUPCC Fairness and Awareness Task Force Denise Davidoff, Chair, June 2005

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The UUPCC wishes to thank all the members of the Economic Fairness and Awareness Task Force. First and foremost, we would like to thank Rev. David Keyes who, along with Rev. Cecilia Kingman, conceived of and wrote the initial grant for the funding for this project. The following people served on this task force. Our thanks go to all of them for their dedication and commitment to international partnership: Denise Davidoff, Chair Barbara Kres Beach Tom Fox Richard Beal Olivia Holmes Ellen Cerasuolo Emery Lazar Marion Connell Jill McAllister Rob Eller-Isaacs Barbara Weber Cathy Cordes, Grant Administrator

This project and this handbook were made possible in part by the generous support of the Fund for Social Responsibility of the Unitarian Universalist Funding Program.

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Becoming a Partner ChurchÃ Building the Foundation

Becoming an international Partner Church is an intentional process that can bring the joy of new friendships and new ideas to a congregation. This START-UP section of the handbook will guide your church through the process of becoming a partner church, step by step. Proper planning and thoughtful preparation can help ensure that your partnership is a rewarding, long-term relationship. The groundwork begins as soon as you start considering Partnership.

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Start-up Steps to Partnership

nce you decide to become a partner church, there is a straightforward Oprocess for embarking on the program.

1. Begin by setting up administrative mechanisms within your church to support the Partnership. You will want to create a Partner Church Committee or Task Force to shepherd your church through the decision-making process. Initially this group will help educate your congregation about partnership. Later it probably will evolve into the group that supports communication and planning with your partner. The UUPCC provides support services to answer questions, help find a speaker or guest minister for a sermon or other event, or lend you a video about partnership. You can reach us at [email protected]. Ministerial involvement is critical to the involvement of the congregation in partnership. Your minister need not be the one who leads the partnership, but he or she clearly needs to be supportive and enthusiastic about it. There is a special bond that often happens between the ministers of the partnership and this can add depth, especially regarding conversations about theology. The minister and lay leadership can help build partnership into the core values and life of the congregation.

2. Fill out and submit to UUPCC the Application for Partnership and Institutional Membership form. The UUPCC provides support services at all stages of partnership and depends on church institutional memberships to support the organization. Fill out the membership form, available at www.uupcc.org and submit, then fill out the partnership application (also on the website). Let us know if you are interested in a particular country or if you have already had contact with a community with which you want to partner. As you complete the application, you will want to include an overview of your church, so please provide a short narra- tive description of your congregation. You can support this information with

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pictures, recent newsletters and other documents that capture the character and spirit of your church. What is special about your congregation? How many families belong to your church? How many retired people or young adults are members? What special programs do you have for members or for the community at large? What is included in your religious education program? Who is on your staff? You should keep in mind that this application will be shared with your potential partner; English is sometimes a barrier, so you will probably want to keep the text simple so that your materials can be easily translated if necessary. Once the UUPCC Matching Committee receives your application, it will select a potential partner for you (if there is not already one selected) and send introductory information about that church community.

3. Educate your congregation about partnership. Here are some specific suggestions from the congregation in Franklin, Massachusetts about how they prepared for a vote on international partnership. Our group first gathered information from as many sources we could find about the country and the Unitarians there. We polled the congregation to see if there were members who had ties with the country in one way or another. We contacted another church in our district that is already partnered and bor- rowed photos and materials from them as well as from our District Networker. We set up an information table for several weeks after church and created a bulletin board with the information and photos. We had a guest speaker from another church do a presentation one evening. She had a video of a trip their choir had taken and a photo album with pictures of a visit from their partner church minister. We also arranged for a guest in our pulpit one Sunday who gave a sermon on the value of international partnership the week before our congregational voted on partnership.

The committee in Fairfax, Virginia conducted similar activities when they contemplated a second partnership with a Unitarian congregation in the Khasi Hills, India.

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Some of the things that we did at Fairfax to prepare the congregation for a vote on a new partner were: • Trips by several church members to Khasi Hills; • Speeches and sharing at PCC meetings; newsletter articles; • Addition of Khasi news and photos to the UUCF website; • PCC information table set up several times this Fall with photo display from Khasi Hills, large map of India (with Meghalaya highlighted), • Information packets of all churches seeking partners, photo CD’s with sound and photo book “Meghalaya Revisited” by John Hewedine (British photographer); • PCC Sunday service with speech about Khasi Hills and special collection for KH schools; PCC Gala with another speech about Khasi Hills and DVD of photos (4 minutes) projected on the church ceiling! • Informal speeches and video showing to various committees; • Forum for questions before Congregational Vote; • Q&A about a new partner church posted on website • Lots of conversations with anyone who would listen!

4. Ask the congregation to accept a partner! This can take various forms but does need to be deliberate so that the partnership is imbedded into congregational life and values. A congregational vote is one way to demonstrate commitment on the part of the congregation. If your church does not have a process for congregational voting, then the Board of Trustees or governing committee should vote. Congregations might want to incorporate international involvement in their vision/mission statement and in the goals of the church. International partnership provides a wonderful way for congregations to “live” their values as Unitarian Universalists. Once you have voted, you should notify the UUPCC office by phoning or by writing to [email protected].

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5. Celebrate your new partner church! The match is official. You’ll receive a letter of partnership from the UUPCC and contact info for your new partner. You’ll want to write or call them to initiate the relationship. Perhaps you’ll want to send someone there to visit or bring someone from there to visit your church. UUPCC can help make arrangements.

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Creating A Sustainable Partnership

Now you have a Partner. Congratulations! But what happens next? Building an emotional connection cannot be left to chance. Casual opportunities to bump into each other on Sunday morning or sit down for a cup of coffee together don’t exist so you have to be more deliberate about designing ways to connect. With some thought and planning, and helpful suggestions from other successful partners, you can build a mutually satisfying relationship together.

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eliberate, frequent communication makes the Partner connection real. As Dsoon as you have been assigned a partner, write to them. Email is a great way to build a long distance relationship. Try to get an email connection as soon as possible. It may not be with the minister of your partner. Maybe there is a student in your partner church who has email connections through their school. Or maybe there is an internet café nearby. You could offer to cover the cost of connections. Some North American partners have purchased communication aids for overseas partner such as computers, paying for the email provider and even paying for direct dial phones. International mail is often slow, but it can be done if it’s the only way. Develop some kind of routine— once a week or every other week—and stick to it. Develop many, many links—as many as possible. Here are some suggestions that have worked elsewhere: • Have your minister write to the minister of your partner. At holidays, have them exchange greetings and messages that can be read from the pulpits of both churches. Post these messages on a board somewhere or print excerpts in your newsletter. • Have different people on the committee be responsible for letter writing during different months. Describe all-important church events: baby-namings, flower communions, church fundraisers, annual dinners, and even the canvass! Sharing information about how your church operates will help your Partner share information about how their church operates. • Foster an exchange between RE groups to connect the youth of both churches. One church established a pen pal program between about 10 kids. They sent all the letters at the same time. When they got responses, (they all came back at the same time), they held a pen pal party with a translator and shared the letters. Everyone wrote a response and had a great time. • The coming of age class in another church connected with the confirmation class. They shared what they were learning to prepare for confirmation and, at the end, exchanged traditional gifts. Another church connected graduating seniors in a similar program. • Exchange music between the churches. Your choir director probably

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will be familiar with music from your partner’s tradition. Ask your church choir to perform some music and record it so you can send it to your partner. If your partner does not have a tape recorder, perhaps your church would consider sending them the money to purchase one. • Send a videotape or a slide show of all aspects of your church life. Be certain that your Partner will be able to view it. Alternatively, you can send a photo album with descriptions of the photos. • Send them your newsletter if language is not a barrier. Also send copies of your photo directory, annual report and other documents about your church.

Designing a Communications Strategy to Maintain the Connection by Laura Nagel

Laura Nagel, from the First UU Church in Houston, Texas has been a long-standing champion for partnership in her church. She contributed the following section based on her considerable experience with her partner village of Árkos in Transylvania. While the advice is targeted for Transylvania, it would also pertain to other countries as well, though some specifics may be different.

Communication Models here seem to be many partnerships that coast along in first gear. They Tmight have one event a year, typically the Partner Church dinner, at which the North American Partner Church (NAPC) raises funds to send to their Transylvanian partner church (TPC). This event is often the work of a single individual that is keeping the partnership going. While this model describes a great many partnerships, it clearly has its limitations.

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The most significant drawback of this model is that it fails to involve other members of either church. This is why it is very important to establish a Partner Church Committee (PCC) at your church and to make certain that your PCC understands that its mission is to connect as many people from the NAPC to as many as possible in the TPC. There are many ways that your PCC can promote person-to-person contact between the Partners. Our church in Houston has conducted letter-writing campaigns, sending pictures and gifts, etc. Of course, this involves hurdling the language barrier, but that topic will be covered later in a section devoted to just that topic. You also may choose to encourage your partner church in Transylvania to form a committee at their church. This may take longer to implement. As they develop more democracy in their national government, it is working its way down to the local government and from there to the villages and their institutions and churches. The more they can see how to structure proce- dures to maximize input and involvement, they can model this in their churches. Our voluntary structure is quite different from theirs. We are learning from each other in these areas. This is why our friendships and visits are an important predecessor to more extensive capital projects or community development.

Writing Campaigns—Prior to our first choir trip to Transylvania, we started a correspondence campaign. We collected picture postcards of our city and asked interested people in our congregation to write their address and vital statistics about themselves on the postcard. We then put all the postcards in a manila envelope and mailed them to the minister of our partner church for him to distribute among those of his congregants who were looking for a cor- respondent. That gave each a postcard to post on their bulletin board with a pretty picture of their partner church’s hometown and the address of a member of our church. Although we didn’t receive much correspondence in return from this effort, it did start our minister and his wife thinking about pairings. Later, when 40 members of our church traveled there, we sent pictures in advance of our arrival on the theory that just one was worth a thousand-word description. They used these to place us with different host families and from this many, many friendships were born that continue today.

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Start a List-serve—This is an email tool that will allow your group to share one email address and individuals are responsible for keeping their individual email address current. Yahoo is a free list serve that is easy to set up and maintain. Their list-serve includes file storage, photos and a shared calendar that will send reminders to everyone on the list. The advantage of this over a group list in your email browser is that all the email addresses are centrally located and it is up to each individual to keep their address current and then everyone on the list has access to their current address. It also creates a central repository for files and materials for new people who join the group. Also, if there is a topic for general discussion then all can participate and perhaps all can assist in translating. To set up a group list serve go to http://www.yahoogroups.com.

Web Site—A web site costs only $8 to register the domain and some hosts cost as little as $10 per month. If you have someone in your group who is proficient at webbing, this is a very good means of facilitating communication across the ocean.

Phoning—There are several low-cost phone services and it is worth shopping to find the cheapest rate from your service provider, or you may go through a special long distance provider accessed through a 1-800 number. These rates are as low as $.13 per minute to Romania. Don’t forget that Romania is seven hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time. They also practice Daylight Savings, and their time changes a week before ours does.

Internet Services—Internet dial up services are available in Romania as of early 2006 for approximately $15 per month. There are few high-speed connections even in the cities. In the villages there are a few with this service, Their computers generally are older, smaller, and slower, their operating systems are older, and their browsers are older.

Phone/Internet Services—The latest development in this country and theirs is to use the internet as a phone. This type of communication would be initiated in the U.S., where internet service is more prevalent, and can be useful particularly when your Transylvanian partner does not have an internet connection. The U.S. caller just needs a microphone on their computer and via the

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internet; they can place a phone call free of charge to the phone of their partner church minister, friend, etc. One such provider is Skype, which offers a free download. Another twist on this concept is for your Transylvanian partner to use their mobile phone to receive email. Mobile phones are quite common in Transylvania. Zapp, an American company, provides a cellular internet service that is billed based on connection time. The basic package gets you 10 hours of service for 15 USD/mo. The set up costs are minimal, but they do include the purchase of a cell phone. This service requires that you have a computer with a USB port. You plug the cell phone into your computer and off you go. Zapp also will provide an email address for the user. The ministers probably know if they have Zapp coverage in their village (or you can look up the Romanian name of the village at www.zapp.ro/buy/network/coverage). The same cell phone can also be used for normal voice communications at an additional cost. Explore this as a potential service that your partnership can sponsor for the minister if she/he speaks and writes English. Otherwise, they might be able to find someone in the village who will receive your messages and translate for the minister and others.

Overcoming the Language Barrier here is a constant need to communicate with your TPC. Learn to think of Tthis and it will help your partnership immensely. You won’t need just one method of translation, you’ll need several; you won’t need just one translator, you’ll need several. You will probably find that your TPC has several members, particularly the younger ones, who speak and maybe even write English to some extent. Often times they understand very well but may be reticent to speak aloud. For them, writing is often more difficult because it brings up the issue of spelling. Since so many Americans speak only English, we often are in awe of other cultures in which it is the norm is to speak two or even three languages. We cannot imagine that they are chagrined by a lack of proficiency in English, when we have no foreign language skills whatsoever. Some of us do try to learn at least some Hungarian and it seems that they appreciate our efforts, however meager.

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While Americans may not be able to translate themselves, they can access these resources and should make every effort to have materials translated into Hungarian, particularly materials that will help inform the partnership. For example, our TPC has translated into English a history of their church and their village area that was very helpful to us in getting to know them. Here are some ideas for translation resources: • Cooperate with other UU churches in your area to share translation resources. • Find Hungarian speakers in your area. • Advertise in your church newsletter to learn if there are Hungarian speakers in your congregation. • Invest in a good Hungarian-to-English and English-to-Hungarian dictionary. An online dictionary is available at http://dict.sztaki.hu/english-hungarian • Invest in translation software. While such software may not be completely reliable, it may provide a start for translations. • Develop a relationship with a translator in Transylvania.

The NAPC and the TPC can end up developing close relationships with their translators that often develop into long-term friendships. For example, it is customary for tour groups to travel with a translator. Often times the translator also is a trained tour guide with special schooling in history. Frequently Unitarian seminary students have fulfilled this function for American UUs on tour/pilgrimage. Kolozsvár is the largest city of Transylvania and home to many universities as well as the Protestant Theological Seminary. The Transylvanian Unitarian Church and the First Unitarian Church of Kolozsvár are excellent sources to find a student who is interested in helping you with translations and working with you to cement your partner relationship. Our church has had extended relationships with our translators. In one case, we traveled with a seminary student who later visited us in the United States and even preached from our pulpit. He helped us to initiate our community development project and then came to our village and helped with translations during the community-planning portion of the project.

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We have maintained a long-term relationship with a woman who translated our minister’s sermon at the Sunday service at which our choir performed. Our choir director later arranged for her to come to the U.S. to complete research for her doctoral dissertation. She was enormously helpful to our partnership during her stay. She helped us with translations, facilitated long- distance phone calls and helped us to understand our Partner’s culture. While here, she also was part of a service at our church and taught traditional Hungarian folk dances to the children in our church school.

A Communications Strategy artnerships are difficult enough between individuals. In this case, we are Pattempting to build partnership between voluntary organizations and communities. There are no “rules” for such cross-cultural partnerships. In this case it involves not only the NAPC and TPC, but also could conceivably involve the UUPCC and the Transylvanian Unitarian Church and all of their accompany- ing organizational structures. Therefore, when considering the development of a plan for communications with your TPC consider all the potential linkages that might be formed and what if any rules, guidelines or protocols you think might be helpful. We found following the UUPCC Guidelines to be very helpful to the creation of a mutual Partnership. We began with a Covenant that put us squarely in the position of respondent rather than initiator. Our Covenant required us to be culturally sensitive, something that we needed to be reminded of as Americans. Our Covenant required that we listen to our Partners, and that we trust their knowledge about what was best for them. Our Covenant made it clear that we were committing to be a supportive and encouraging partner willing to offer our Partner responsive feedback and ongoing communication. Our goal was not to unilaterally define the Partnership to put forward our ideas, our solutions, or our money. We clearly have these things to offer if called for, but only when called for by our Partner. Our NAPC had also covenanted with each other that we would make decisions using the consensus model, and to keep the lines of communica-

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tion open between us. We typically open our meetings with a check-in. As could be expected, we Unitarians had at least as many views as we had committee members, but we bask in the view that we are richer because of this, and muddle on. Our communications strategy has been to build a communications web that has as its basic building block communications between the NAPC and the TPC but also weaves in local government and other potential partners. We have as collaborators both United States and Romanian governmental agencies. We have sought ways in which to weave them into our fabric. We are attempting to model the synergy of effective collaboration and network- ing to the TPC, particularly in the context of our community development project. This is a form of American interest-group politics that we do quite successfully and we are hoping that the TPC will find it equally effective.

In conclusion, this is a strategy to build a better partnership. It is a way to be better citizens and to act upon our principle of promoting world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all. It is based upon a covenant of friendship and respect. It is not about getting things done, it is about being in right relations with one another. It is a wonderful opportunity for citizen-based diplomacy in our new global community.

Laura Nagel, Houston, TX, Fall 2005

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Creating a Presence in Your Church

UUPCC Networkers, March 2001

Visible reminders of our partners keep the relationship exciting. The congregation is in partnership and even though not everyone is an active participant they are part of the relationship. Try these suggestions to make the relationship visible to others in your congregation.

he following list was the product of a brainstorming session with UUPCC T networkers. The networkers nurture both their own church partnerships and serve as guides and supporters for other churches in North America partnered in the same region overseas. • Create a display of gifts from the overseas partner. • One church commissioned a communion service set from a local potter and gave it as a gift to their partner. • Use a bulletin board in a high traffic area to show a map with your partner clearly marked. Display letters, photos, maps, art and craft- work, and post regular updates to keep it interesting. • Take the opportunity of chalice lightings and joys and concerns can- dles to remember your partner. Find out about holidays they celebrate that are different from ours and remember them at that time. • Assign a member of the committee to write a short news article for each issue of your newsletter. Include plans, letters, recipes, photos and general news from your partner’s country. • As the partnership becomes part of the culture of the church, build it in to long range plans, mission and vision statements to enable it to grow as part of your core values. In one church the Partner Church Committee has been involved in a long range planning process. Every committee has written their own goals that have been incorporated into the church goals. This has firmly established the partner program at this church into the organizational life of the church.

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• Hold a Sunday service and special RE program once a year to celebrate the partnership (often led by visitors to or from your partner church). On the same Sunday at the same moment, your partner might also hold a special afternoon partner church service and ring the bell (or both can ring bells) half a continent away. • In one church, the collection plate every third Sunday goes to support the Partner Church needs and projects. • Hold a social/educational evening each year to celebrate your partnership (including slide shows, folk dancing and singing, music, ethnic meals/desserts, handcraft exhibits). You might want to invite near-by churches that are also partnered when having special functions such as a dinner or fundraiser.

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CovenantsÃMaking Promises to Each Other Cathy Cordes, with sample by Judit Gellérd As the relationship matures you become committed to the other. As you learn about their lives and their needs, and as they learn about yours, you both will discover ways that you can make a difference in each other’s lives. Cement this relationship with a covenant that both congregations sign.

ommitments we make in our lives are often accompanied by an oath, C pledge, or vow. These declarations formalize our dedication to whatever endeavor we are undertaking. The covenants that churches adopt when committing to partner with a church through the Unitarian Universalist Partner Church Council are no different. By this stage of the partnering process, you will have thought about the benefits and responsibilities of becoming a partner church. Included here are several examples of covenants adopted by other churches that have decided to take the step of partnering with another church. These may provide some examples on which you may base your own covenant. The UUPCC encourages congregations to covenant with their partners. Quoting from our vision statement: “… partner relationships between North American congregations and churches around the globe will be… of high quality, firmly based, mutually beneficial, responsibly sustained, and linked by a joint and mutual covenant.” When discussing this with your partner, be aware that different cultures view covenants in different ways. Take care to discuss your intention so that everyone is clear what is being asked of them. It might be easier to speak of an “agreement” or a “promise.” Let us not allow the word “covenant” to become an obstacle to the partnership however. What is important is the idea that members of partnerships need to agree on how to be partners. And that agreement needs to be mutual —that is, both parties will need to work together to come to agreement on what their partnership means to them. Experience tells us that many partnerships think there is agreement, but few have really worked together to check assumptions. Unchecked, this can lead to misunderstandings and can even damage relationships.

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Deliberate conversations are an important piece of work for partners. The following exercise, with thanks to Rev. Fred Muir of Annapolis, Maryland, translates well and is an easy way to start the conversation that can lead to a covenant. Step 1. Give every person in the room a 3 x 5 inch card. On one side ask each person to write down 3 things they want to promise to their partner. On the other side of the card, everyone should write three things they want their partner to promise them.

Step 2. Form small groups of 4–5 people and ask them to share what they have written. At this step, it is helpful for everyone in each group to be from the same church. Each person reads what is on their card—one by one. The group then decides together what are the essential ideas that represent most of the thoughts. The group then combines the statements into one common list that all members of the group can agree to. Each of the small groups will have its own lists.

Step 3. Now join two groups together and repeat the process. When you have worked all of the groups’ lists down to two, one for each congregation (North American and other), combine those two lists into one. This then will become the foundation of the covenant that then can be written.

Step 4. Once everyone is in agreement that the list is sufficiently complete, a few people will need to volunteer to convert the combined lists into a more formal statement. Once drafted, this statement can be presented to each congregation for endorsement as a formal covenant.

The first three steps usually can be completed in less than two hours, particularly if you have a facilitator who keeps time and keeps the process moving. The conversation surrounding the list merging of the lists requires all of the groups to work on common beliefs and values and to clarify their ideas about partnership. All our partnerships, even the most vibrant and long-term ones, can benefit from such a conversation.

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Sample Covenants The following covenant was developed by networkers from North America and Transylvania using the process described on the previous pages. It is offered here as a sample from which to work. April 8, 2003 COVENANT—DRAFT We partners promise: • To have spiritual, international and personal connections and, in these connections, to support each other mutually; • To begin from what we have in common: shared heritage, values and sense of “oneness”; • To keep relationship more important than projects; • To listen with respect before taking action; • To be willing both to receive and to give. In order to facilitate these promises, we will: • Create partnership committees in both churches; • Discuss what will benefit each congregation; • Clarify and list needs of each congregation; • Commit in writing (in the language(s) of both partners) our agreements on projects. The Covenant will be reviewed and renewed periodically. (Suggestions of every three or five years were mentioned as examples.)

The following covenant is a sample based on a covenant between Bellevue, Washington and Torockószentgyörgy. This sample and the translation were created by Rev. Judit Gellérd. (The English version is followed by the Hungarian version in BOLD type.)

COVENANT OF PARTNERSHIP—TESTVÉRGYÒLÉKEZETI SZÖVETSÉG

Between Unitarian Universalist Congregation of XY, USA and The Unitarian Church of XY, Transylvania (Romania) XY Egyesült Allamokbeli Unitarian Universalista gyülekezete es a XY unitárius egyházközsége között

We, the XY Unitarian Universalist Congregation and the XY Transylvania Unitarian congregation, promise to each other: Mi, a XY-i Unitárias gyülekezet, és az Erdelyi XY unitárius gyülekezete egymasnak megfogadjuk a következöket:

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1. This relationship’s basis is friendship, respect and mutual support. 1. Kapcsolatunk alapja a barátság, kölcsönös tisztelet, es egymás megbecsülése

2. We will strive at all times to be honest with each other, to clarify assumptions, and to facilitate continuous communication between our congregations. 2. Minden idoben becsületre törekszünk, a félreértéseket azonnal tisztazzuk és folytonos kapcsolatot tartunk fenn egymassal.

3. We will have respect for differences in cultural and religious customs. 3. Egymás kulturalis es vallashagyományat feltétel nélkül tiszteljük.

4. We will share the responsibility for nurturing this relationship, with open communication and by setting goals for our partnership. 4. Kapcsolatunk ápolása mindkét felnek egyformán feladata. Nyilt és öszinte kapcsolattartas által dolgozzuk ki mindig közös céljainkat.

5. We will communicate both joys and concerns to our partners in faith and share our visions, our goals and stories of growth in our congregations. 5. Örömeinket és bánatunkat egymással megosztjuk akárcsak jövö-álmunkat és gyülekezeteink életének minden jelentös mozzanatat.

6. We will translate our words into action according to our Principles and Purposes. We will demonstrate our Unitarian faith to each other and the world. 6. Adott szavunkat mindig a tett fogja követni egyházaink teologiai es eszmei keretén belül. Unitárius hitünkröl tanubizonyságot teszünk mindenütt a vilagban.

7. We will request support as needed and give support as we are able, knowing that our connection is already a source of support. 7. Valahányszor az egyik fél segitségre szorul, legjobb képességünk szerint segitjük. Es sose felejtjuk el, hogy a puszta kapcsolattartás is önmagaban már segitseg.

We call upon the members of our partner churches to promote this Promise of our Partnership. Testvér egyházközségeink tagjait ezennel felkérjük, hogy kötelezzék el magukat e nemes testveri szövetsegben egymás iránt.

Signatures for Unitarian Universalist Signatures for the Unitarian Church Church, USA Transylvania Minister ______Lelkesz______Board President ______Gondnok ______

Date ______Datum ______

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Co-Creating a Sustainable Partnership

Developing a Partnership Plan by Laura Nagel

efore you can talk about developing a plan, you have to get to know your Bpartner. There has been a tradition established in many North American Partner Churches (NAPC’s) to send money to the Transylvanian partner church. Recent work by the UUPCC has shown that this can actually be harm- ful, particularly if that is the primary form of contact. While there clearly is a need for funds in many Transylvanian Unitarian churches, the Transylvanians have indicated, in a study conducted by the Economic Fairness and Awareness Task Force, that they are interested in developing “true friendships” regardless of the money. This means that emphasis should be focused on getting to know them: learn their history, their culture and the piece of Transylvanian history we both share as Unitarians. UUPCC literature stresses “visit, visit, visit.” A visit will often provide the impetus to do the reading and exploration required to learn about your partner’s culture. Reforming the way we think about our partnerships here in North America will affect how we spend our money. In the past, we have sent contributions of cash primarily for capital improvements to our partner’s church building. In the future, we will spend money to facilitate our communication and to build friendships. Instead of capital improvements to a building, we will invest in English and Hungarian training, travel scholarships, internet connections, translation services, and phone lines so that we can improve communications with our Partner. Even so, there is no substitute for visiting. As the bumper sticker says, there is nothing more radical than introducing people. Gone are the fears and preconceived ideas and notions. You have a chance to get to know people, discover your commonalities, and form friendships. This process began for our church when our daughter went on the UUPCC Youth trip and visited our partner village for the first time. The following year, 40 people went, including our entire church choir.

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Visiting with a Large Group While visiting is dealt with extensively in a separate section, a word is in order here regarding large group visits. Our church might not have been willing to undertake traveling with 40 people if our choir director had not been an experienced leader of large group tours. In the end, it proved very feasible and in fact presented some unanticipated advantages. Many thought that the size would preclude the intimacy that many hoped to experience on the trip and pilgrimage. With the aid of modern technology (a microphone and set of head- phones), we were able to bring the entire large group together in intimate conversations and experiences. Our tour guides were able to talk via microphone and all of us on the tour could hear without her having to shout. Our cruising bus had all the modern conveniences that also including a microphone and speaker system so that enabled us to easily share stories and observations. The unanticipated benefit for our partnership was to have an instant community of support for the partnership on both sides of the ocean. Our Transylvanian Partner Church (TPC) minister and his wife had arranged home stays for all of us and each one of those stays created a new bond of attach- ment and communication which still continues today, two years after our trip. This trip was so successful that the UUPCC Travel Service now offers support to large groups who are making the pilgrimage. There are other ways to communicate. We bought picture postcards of our city and then asked each of our congregants who was interested in corre- sponding with a member of TPC to fill out the back of the postcard and tell a few of the particulars about themselves including their address. We put these all in a manila envelope and mailed them off to our TPC minister who used the information to match our congregants with his in pen pal relationships. We also sent a poster-size Christmas card with pictures of our church and its members that had been signed by many of us from the church.

Be Patient I knew our TPC minister and his wife were wonderful people because they had been so kind to our daughter who stayed with them for several days in their home and was invited to return the following summer to teach English. But, if

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I had relied totally upon written communications I might have become dis- heartened. While many Transylvanian Unitarians speak English, fewer write it and thus email and letter writing is difficult for them. A phone call is probably the simplest and most direct method of communication if they do not have email. As you will see under the section on communications, there are several options for reduced price long distance calls.

Share Your Vision As you begin your partnership, you can start to explore within your own church what your vision for the partnership is. We are in an era of globalization and this is an opportunity to experience that first hand. What does it mean to the NAPC members? What are their expectations, their hopes, their vision for this partnership, for themselves and their families and their church? Remember, you are in this for the long haul. Our partnership has grown steadily since our choir visited in 2003. During that visit, our TPC began to talk with us about some of their wishes and dreams for the future. It might have been a little overwhelming had there not been 40 of us. But since we were large in number, we wanted to help them to achieve their goals and we have subsequently embarked with them on a community and economic development plan. We are of course very excited about the plan and its prospects for the future; nonetheless it could not have been rushed and certainly could not have been instigated from our side of the ocean. It had to be at their initiation. Working together on the plan has had a salutary effect on the partnership. It has opened up new areas of interest, created common experiences, and allowed us to deepen our relationships. Since the choir trip, we have been back to our village to help the village planning process and since then, the minister and his wife have visited us. Now we are planning a return trip with a large group. Being working partners has brought the level of our conversation to much deeper levels. Globalization takes on new meaning and has immediacy to it. We were fortunate to have committee members who represent the leadership of the church. It was not practical to commit the NAPC to assisting with the

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implementation of a plan without knowing what that would entail. In view of this, we selected church representatives who were congregational leaders (past board president, past search committee chair, present board member, and Partner Church Committee co-chairs). Though we were not able to bind the church in advance of our going, it helped to have these avowed leaders with us so that they could be ambassadors of and speak for the church. They were able to act as a liaison to the TPC and to accurately reflect the will and tempera- ment of the NAPC. Our community development planning process has proceeded very well. Given their history, Hungarian Transylvanians are pessimistic about the ability and willingness of a government to be responsive to their needs. We can all empathize with that view. But, this is a new era and we all must begin again in faith and love. Creating a community development plan with our partner has been a heartening reminder for us Americans as we have recounted to Transylvanians how a capitalistic system relies as much on cooperation as com- petition; that our democracy is successful not just because we work, but also because we volunteer; that we value public goods as well as private; and that, while we live in a representative democracy, the building blocks of that democracy are grass roots organization, basic personal liberties, and the empower- ment of individuals to affect their lives and their government.

Laura Nagel First UU Church, Houston, TX Fall 2005

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Travel In his book Video Night in Katmandu, Pico Iyer, writes: “Every trip we take deposits us at the same forking of the paths: it can be a shortcut to alienation—removed from our home and distanced from our immediate surroundings, we can afford to be contemptuous of both; or it can be a voy- age into renewal, as, leaving ourselves and pasts at home and traveling light, we recover our innocence abroad. Abroad, we are all Titanias, so bedazzled by strangeness that we comically mistake asses for beauties; but away from home, we can also be Mirandas, so new to the world that our blind faith can become a kind of higher sight... If every journey makes us wiser about the world, it also returns us to a sort of childhood. In alien parts, we speak more simply, in our own or some other language, move more freely, unencumbered by the histories that we carry around at home, and look more excitedly, with eyes of wonder. And if every trip worth taking is both a tragedy and a comedy, rich with melodrama and farce, it is also, at its heart, a love story. The romance with the foreign must certainly be leavened with a spirit of keen and un- illusioned realism; but it must also be observed with a measure of faith.”

The UUPCC district networkers, when asked, “What is the MOST important advice you would give to a new partner?” always say the most important activity of any partnership is travel. “Visit, visit, visit!” they said. The partnership may never be real to some members of your church until they actually meet someone from the other church. Your partnership needs the emotional connection that comes from getting to know each other. The personal friendships that develop can last a life- time. Visiting another country and each other’s homes can be life-changing experiences. Travel there, and bring them here. Reality says that it is difficult at best for your partner to afford a trip here without your financial assistance. Perhaps there is someone in your church who will donate frequent flyer miles for a ticket. If possible, have your church acquire a credit card that awards airline miles. Use these free trips to send a congregant, minister, staff or youth to visit there. They can also be used to bring someone from there here.

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Exchanges of all kinds can be arranged. The first is often the minister and her/his family. Churches have also brought teenagers, the church president as well as other representatives of the partner church. Exchanges of medical personnel or teachers are possible. Choir trips have been very successful and welcomed both here and abroad. Consider bringing the minister from your partner church here for a sabbatical. If your church is a teaching church, consider bringing a minister from overseas for an internship. The UUPCC website (http://www.uupcc.org) has information about obtaining visas for guests. If your congregation would like to experience the transformative experience of a visit to your partner, the UUPCC can help. We support church pilgrimages—both small and large—from 40 member choirs to travel opportunities for individuals. A typical group is usually no more than 5–10 people from a given congregation, but even so the prospect of organizing a trip to rural Transylvania may seem daunting. The UUPCC offers support for the entire process from planning to completion. We have travel coordinators in both the United States and in Transylvania. They will work with you to customize an itinerary that matches the interests and time constraints of your group, and make all of your ground arrangements including transportation, accommodations, guides & interpreters. They will even work with your partner church minister to plan the time you spend with your partners. The UUPCC can also help you recruit your travel group from within your congregation by providing speakers to deliver sermons and speak at potluck dinners for prospective pilgrims. For more information about the UUPCC pilgrimage program visit our website at www.uupcc.org/trips.html where you can download our UUPCC Travel Guide to Romania, and learn about the latest travel opportunities. Email us at [email protected] to see how we can help make this an experience of a life- time.

As Pico Iyer wrote “... All good trips are, like love, about being carried out of yourself and deposited in the midst of terror and wonder.” Plan a visit and talk about it with your partner. The expectation and planning will keep the relationship tightly linked. Knowing that a trip is planned in either direction keeps the interest high.

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Keeping the Partnership Alive in Your Church

he most important thing is to communicate, whether by letter, email or Tphone several times a year. The most productive, interesting and fun form of communication is visiting each other. Bringing people from your partner church to your home church helps the maximum number of people experience the relationship. Going to visit the partner deepens individual understandings of the partnership, increases commitment and can result in wonderful Sunday services and programs relating to the trip. Write regular columns in your church newsletter. If a letter arrives, publish at least part of it. Does it need a response? Ask people for ideas. Let the church know what has been decided. Publish the UUPCC trip schedule and urge folks to participate or think about it in the future. If there is a young person or two who would like to go on the youth trip, help them with fundraising. Include occasional articles about current events in your partner’s country, the culture or about the Unitarian Church organization there. Exchanging gifts is a common and heart-warming way to learn about each other. Find a way to display and/or use the gifts. A bookcase with glass doors is a great way to display and tell the story of several gifts and items exchanged with your Partner. Embroidered hymnal covers, banners or a young girl’s folk costume that can be worn at special events are examples of treasured evidence of a partnership. Being a partner should encourage creativity in all forms! If you’ve sent a gift such as a banner to your partner, display a photo of it hanging in their meeting room or church. Then use your display when you talk to newcomers. Tell them about the partnership and describe how your partnership means that your church reach- es out to and receives from others. If you have a new member class, invite a member of the partner church committee to explain the partnership. Point out the display and invite the newcomers to participate in a partner church activity or to join the committee.

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If your church is doing some landscaping or building, consider including some reference to the partnership. Boise, Idaho was creating a children’s garden. They built a covered bridge entrance and decorated it with carved Transylvanian motifs. They liked it so well they added a playhouse in similar style. Spokane, Washington constructed an authentic Transylvanian gate as an entrance to a memorial/meditation garden. Kopjafa, carved wooden totem pole-like markers, are another beautiful possibility. One church (Bedford, Massachusetts) installed two of these in its new memorial garden. Their partner donated the kopjafak. Another church (Fairfax) brought a carver from their partner village to Virginia. Projects such as these encourage give and take from both partners and increase the number of people involved. Someone who doesn’t care to attend committee meetings might love to carve. Once or twice a year make sure to hold some kind of event in honor of the partnership. Ethnic dinners and folk dancing are common examples. Often they are fundraisers for some project. Partner Church Sunday services are very effective at reminding the congregation about the relationship and informing them of new developments. This is an excellent time for those who have visited recently to relate their experiences. Include music from your partners’ culture. If your church holds an annual auction, you could contribute some item from your partner or a book about their culture. If your church has bulletin boards, request space for showing photos of the partners. If there is a scholarship program, put up photos of the students. List the students’ goal or area of study, and if there are individual sponsors, show them, too. Enlarge copies of any letters received and post them, too. Post copies of the UUPCC Partner Church News and invite people to take one. Make a big copy of the UUPCC trip information and post it. If another church in your area is working on a creative project with their partner, advertise that. It could be inspiring. Involve the Religious Education Department in the partnership. The UUPCC website has games and many activities that are fun and teach about a partner’s culture and history. Whenever a visit is planned, take photos and drawings from your church children and bring back the same from your partner children. Arrange to visit an RE class or two every year to talk about your partner and show pictures. If you have been given some traditional clothing, let them wear it. Consider giving the teen group a subscription to the newspa-

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per “Cipo” written by the students at the Unitarian high school in Kolozsvár. If you hold a partnership dinner, teens may enjoy serving the food or helping to make it or making table decorations. At Christmas or Easter, stand by a table and invite congregational members to sign cards. You can make one big one or individual ones that you mail in one manila envelope. Children and youth can be involved in creating the cards. Cards can be designed to be hung on the partners’ Christmas trees. If your church has a bookstore or library, suggest that it stock some books about your partner’s country and about the UU Partner Church program. There is a bibliography of books on the UUPCC website: www.uupcc.org.

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Creating World Community

We change the world when we think globally and act globally AND locally. We can create new models of community through our partnerships. As partners, we can work together to care for the current and future well being of Unitarian churches and for the future of Unitarians everywhere.

This section contains information about the UUPCC’s Community Capacity Building program as well as case histories that will provide many examples of projects that partners have pursued and completed together.

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Community Capacity BuildingÃ Empowering Communities for Action

“If you’ve come here to help me, then you’re wasting your time. But if you’ve come because you’ve seen that your liberation is bound up with mine... then come, let’s walk together.” —Source Unknown

n recent years UUPCC has searched for models of relationships that sup- Iport partnerships so that the partners can walk together as equals. The UUPCC’s Community Capacity Building program uses a model with a 30-year record of success throughout the world. Community Capacity Building is based upon the belief that people in a community can join together and take responsibility to develop their community and to lead efforts to alleviate their own poverty. But they need tools to help them get organized for action. They need a systematic process to get people involved, get everyone’s ideas on the table, and to come to consensus when there are differences of opinions. They need to know how to create an action plan that mobilizes their own resources and how to find outside resources when necessary. The method invites community members to participate in three days of Community Based Planning meetings, sometimes called a Community Assessment.

What is the Goal for the Community Capacity Building Program? The UUPCC will support and foster a Community Capacity Building program that equips Unitarian and Universalist partnered congregations and their broader communities with vision, tools, and skills that enable them to become the architects and managers of their own community development and poverty alleviation.

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Program Elements • Capacity Building—Provide training and guidance to Unitarian and Universalist congregations to enable their partnerships to become the catalyst that leads communities to sustainable development. • Tools—Equip communities with tools that enable them to organize information and mobilize resources to identify solutions and create action plans to solve community problems. • Poverty Reduction—Demonstrate that communities working together can come to consensus about the best ways to reduce poverty and find supporters to join them in implementing their Community Action Plan.

How Can Two Partnered Churches Organize an Assessment? Someone has to start the process organizing a Community Based Planning session. Your UUPCC partnership can be this catalyst. You and your partner should jointly decide to lead their community in the Capacity Building process. The UUPCC’s Capacity Building booklet and case studies (available at www.uupcc.org) will help you make an informed decision. Please contact the UUPCC office to initiate the Community Capacity Building program. We will work with you to prepare and find UUPCC-trained facilitators to help you implement the three-day assessment. When you and your partner embark upon the Capacity Building path, you’ll find that it leads to excitement, energy, and a renewed sense of purpose.

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Other Stories About Partnerships

he next pages contain stories and case histories about partnerships Tbetween North American Unitarian Universalist Churches and their partners in India, The Philippines, Hungary and Transylvania. They are included here not as models to be copied but to give the reader a sense of the possible and a picture of what partnership is like. Partnerships, like all relationships, start out with a “getting to know you” stage and progresses through friendship into commitment, at which point covenants are written and promises to each other are made. Working together on projects can happen at any stage but most often, substantive collaboration does not occur until the two congregations have created the all-important links that are most often accomplished by face-to-face contact. As you read these stories you will see that the strongest and most vibrant partnerships have a large number of links between the two congregations. These links include ministers, teachers, doctors, children, families, women’s groups, and choirs. It is the links and the communications between those links that form the web that supports the partnership through good times and hard times. Ministerial changes in either congregation are hard on the partnership, but not as hard if the congregations are linked in many other ways. It is easier to share lives and build community over long distances if you have many chan- nels of communication. These stories are presented here to give you ideas and to demonstrate the shape of partnerships in all stages of their relationship. UUPCC is grateful to Elizabeth J. DeMille Barnett and Amanda McGregor for writing these stories and case histories and bringing these partnerships to life in these pages.

And a special thanks to all of you who do the work of partnership in your congregations, since such work brings all of us closer to the vision of a world community with peace, justice and freedom for all.

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First Unitarian Society, DenverÃKövend, Transylvania

he First Unitarian Society in Denver, Colorado (267 members), and the TUnitarian parish in Kövend, Transylvania have been partner churches since 1989. The partnership began when First Unitarian’s previous minister visited Transylvania during his sabbatical. Throughout the 16-year relationship, parishioners from the Denver congregation have made about seven visits to Kövend, and those visits have played a key role in building the partnership. The minister in Kövend speaks English, but beyond that, communication between members of the two churches has been challenging. There have been a handful of intermittent exchanges between the Sunday schools, such as pictures and letters. In Denver, they celebrate a Partner Church Sunday each year and Transylvanian tapestries hang on the sanctuary wall, so parishioners are aware of the partner church, but there is not as much interest as organizers would wish for. The partner church council is not a formal organization within First Unitarian’s structure, but parishioners recently formed a Partner Church Task Force to increase interest in the partnership and to raise funds to bring the minister in Kövend and his family to visit Denver. “The face to face relationships are really what make it,” said Ruth Gibson, minister of religious education in Denver, who speaks Hungarian and has played a key contact role in the partnership, “and (the minister in Kövend) is completely committed to that. He said, ‘If you want to send us money, that’s important. But it’s more important for us to see you.’” Gibson continued, “and we have enough people around here who understand what it’s about.” The biggest project between the partners has been a scholarship program founded in 2000, which has experienced ups and downs. One of the draw- backs was the fact that the money went into a general pool, so that there was no individual relationship or communication established between the donors and the individual recipients. There was also a lack of sustained interest on the part of some North American partners, and concerns about whether students

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were getting enough money, or whether the scholarship amounts should be need-based, rather than uniform as the plan had established. The program originally involved six Transylvanian villages. What operates now is a smaller but sounder one that will incorporate pieces of the old program, according to Gibson, involving fewer villages and more communication. Kövend and the other parishes created a scholarship constitution and application form that Gibson translated last summer. “We’re pulling it together again,” Gibson said. “It was hard to get any communication on, ‘How much money does a kid need to get an education over there?’ It should be easy information to find, but we were told $40 for a semester of room and board. Then we were told $400. Then our minister told us it’s $1,000 a year, not including meals, but they figured it was just too much to ask. But my feeling is, ‘If we know how much you need, it gives us a goal.’” The partner church relationship is building slowly over time. For example, the Denver youth group initially had little interest in the partnership or in visiting Kövend. But the seeds of interest were planted in those children who learned about Kövend in religious education classes in first and second grade and received wood carvings and other trinkets from Transylvania. “Now those kids are in high school, and are interested in partner church stuff,” Gibson said. “I’m really pleased to see that happening. Some changes just take a long time.”

The input of Lew and Phyllis Dunlap of Denver also contributed to this report.

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First Unitarian of HonoluluÃCaiman, Philippines

irst Unitarian Church of Honolulu, Hawaii (150 members) and the F Unitarian parish in Caiman, Philippines became partner churches in 1999 during a visit to the Philippines by the Rev. Mike Young of First Unitarian. Young has continued to visit the Philippines and has helped to move ahead major projects for the village, including the creation of a clean drinking water system: the entire village had been jaundiced, suffering from hepatitis for 20 years due to contaminated water. In the earlier stages of the partnership, Young sat down with the partners in Caiman and asked what their priority was, and their clear response was “Clean water.” After planning, research and surmounting red tape, a new well is slated to be drilled in Caiman, supported by $580 in donations. The next step includes piping and irrigation systems. Young has worked to raise funds and organize, but he and a retired doctor are the only members of the congregation who have visited the village. Thus the congregants in the two parishes have no face to face interaction. However, the children have exchanged photographs and drawings. They send two to three packages per year to the children in Caiman, and at Christmas, the religious education classes make Philippine star crafts. Young has given disposable cameras to the children of Caiman to take photographs themselves. “The kids very clearly own the partnership experience,” said Young. “They want to see the pictures when I come back. Or whenever a package arrives, it’s to them.” Communication is challenging, not due to language, but because it is expensive for the Philippine partners to send mail. The churches attempted to start up a pen pal project between the teenagers, but it faltered. The director of religious education in Honolulu said she would like to see the partnership expand, particularly through visits and interaction. But she said it’s difficult to get that going in a small parish, and trips to the Philippines are too expensive for many people. “We have no plan for visits, but it would be nice,” said Nan Kleiber, director of religious education. “But it’s not number one or

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number two on the list, and in this kind of church, not much more than that gets done.” Kleiber continued, “They see these pictures of (other) kids, and it’s like, And? So? Unless we have people actually there, which is simply beyond what we could afford, they can’t make it real.” “My congregation here looks at things going on in third world countries more than they did before,” Young said. “When they heard about the water project, a lot of folks jumped on the Internet and had ideas and were ready to help. I think it has changed attitudes.” Young also believes the partner church experience is valuable because it demonstrates that North American Unitarian Universalists are part of a global faith. “The first change was just terribly obvious: People tend to see Unitarianism as a local phenomenon and are only dimly aware we’re part of something larger,” Young said. “Both the Philippine connection and the Transylvanian connection mean that UU’s here have a much clearer sense of being part of a much larger UU movement worldwide.”

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Second Unitarian Church of ChicagoÃKénos, Transylvania

or Second Unitarian in Chicago, Illinois (203 members), and the Unitarian F parish in Kénos, Transylvania, the most important element of their eight- year-old church partnership has been to meet each other. Members of the Partner Church Committee have visited Kénos a handful of times. Right now, the Partner Church Committee is raising money to bring the minister and his wife from Kénos for a visit to Chicago in the summer of 2006. They anticipate that this visit will strengthen the partner church relationship and will involve more of the Chicago congregation in the partnership. While the parish is supportive, most of the parishioners aren’t active in the partnership beyond a core of about six people who visit Kénos and communicate with the partner church. The minister at Second Unitarian is not involved in the Partner Church, although she supports it from the pulpit, according to committee members. “When the minister (from Kénos) comes, I think there will be much more of a connection,” said Lara Tushla, a member of the Partner Church Committee who has been involved for about three years. “We’ve done a power point presentation and two services about the partnership since we came back, so we’ve been in front of the congregation. At this point, they’re familiar and interested, but I don’t know if ‘involved’ is the right word.” For Tushla and the other folks who have visited Kénos, they believe the face-to-face interaction is key to the success of the partnership. “I developed a real friendship with the minister and his wife,” said Tushla. “Getting to know him on a more personal basis, I saw their great senses of humor and I learned how he has these hopes and dreams for his community—and it’s really a community on the edge of extinction. The trip was a crucial part of my experience.” There have been limited opportunities for the children of the two churches to interact because there are only two or three families with children in Kénos, and there is no Sunday School there, according to Tushla. The children from the two churches have exchanged drawings a few times. They have not exchanged letters or packages.

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The turnover of ministers in Kénos three times during the last seven years has hindered continuous communication, but the churches have managed to stay in touch. During visits, they have hired a translator through the Partner Church Council. The Partner Church Committee opted to provide the parish house in Kénos with Internet service, which has helped make communication more regular. “Now the minister and his wife ‘IM’ with people in our group,” said Tushla, “and they get a real kick out of it.” The members of the Partner Church Committee at Second Unitarian hope to grow the partner church relationship, and to be there for their friends in Kénos, who have expressed great concern that their livelihood— farming—will be lost once Romania joins the European Union. During a visit to Kénos last year, committee members spent hours meeting with the church council and the town council, learning about their lives and learning what they want from the church partnership. “They have a lot of fears of what’s going to happen,” Tushla said. “They told us what kind of connections they wanted with us. We tried to make it very clear we understood what they wanted. It was very real.”

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First Unitarian of Toronto, CanadaÃBudapest II, Hungary

irst Unitarian Congregation of Toronto (over 400 members), and Budapest F II in Hungary have been fortunate to share many visits, crossing both ways over the Atlantic, during the tenure of their partnership that dates back to 1993. At least 20 members from First Unitarian have visited Budapest II at different times, and the previous and current ministers from Budapest II were both able to visit Toronto. Those involved with the partner church program say the visits were crucial to creating a solid partnership. Much of the interaction, however, has been with the minister and his family, which the “Firsters” hope will broaden soon. “Our one shortcoming is that we really don’t have a working relationship with our counterparts at Budapest II,” said Susan McLeod, who has been involved with the partner church since the start. This is “partly because of the language barrier, and partly because the ministers tend to ‘represent their members’ to us.” The Partner Church Committee uses one Sunday each year to present a service on the partner church. They also raise money for the partner church. Several members of the committee speak Hungarian, so translation and communication has not been a problem. This year for Christmas, the parish sent gifts to the minister at Budapest II and his family. In addition, 55 members of First Unitarian signed a Christmas card that they sent to their partner congregation. McLeod and others hope that next September will mark a turning point in the development of ties among the laity in the two congregations. More than a dozen members of First Unitarian are slated to travel to Budapest II and share a Thanksgiving service with their partners. The hope is to foster many face-to-face relationships between the two sets of parishioners. Already, plans are moving ahead to brief the travelers on Hungarian history and language. “All the time they are in Budapest will be dedicated to learning more about our partners,” McLeod said. The input of MaryEllen Warren of Toronto also contributed to this report. The membership numbers were taken from the Unitarian Universalist Directory for 2005.

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Unitarian Universalist Congregation of FairfaxÃ Unitarian Church Puriang, East Khasi Hills, India

“Your land is for Gods to live in. Its air, its natural scenery, its pure atmosphere, its sweet water would attract even Gods.” —Sardar Vallabhai Patel, late Indian Independence Leader (Inscription on Meghalaya State Portal)

he Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Fairfax, Virginia has a strong T commitment to putting its Unitarian-Universalist Principles into action. This is a congregation that likes to take risks and to be engaged. Their newest commitment is nearly 8,000 miles away, in the Khasi Hills of India, where Fairfax has established a partnership with the Unitarian Church of Puriang. In January 2005, based in part upon its successful fifteen-year partnership with the Unitarian Church of Szentgerice, Romania, the Fairfax membership voted to enter a partnership with the Unitarian Church of Puriang, located in the East Khasi Hills District of Meghalaya Province, in India. This new partnership also includes the Unitarian School of Puriang (Puriang School).

History of Unitarianism in the Khasi Hills Reverend Mohrmen has written that the first Unitarian church in India was established on December 19th, 1795, in Chennai (formerly Madras) by William Robert, a Muslim who had been brought up by a Hindu family and taken to England as a slave. Robert attended Unitarian churches in England, and when he returned to India he established the Unitarian Christian Church of Madras. The East Khasi Hills Unitarian community was established in 1887, independently of the Chennai (Madras) church, by Hajom Kissor Singh, who had con- verted first to Welsh Presbyterianism and then learned about Charles Dall, a Unitarian missionary in Calcutta who had beliefs that were similar to the traditional Khasi beliefs.

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Ellen and Doug Campbell (First Unitarian Congregation of Toronto) in a recent sermon noted that Reverend Singh first wrote to Dall, who sent Singh pamphlets written by a Unitarian minister and missionary, the Reverend Jabez Thomas Sunderland of Ann Arbor, Michigan (who also was the publisher of the Unitarian Journal). Reverend Singh then wrote to Reverend Sunderland, and thus began a forty-eight year friendship between the two ministers. The two finally met in 1895, when Reverend Sunderland spent a few weeks of his sabbatical year in Khasi Hills. In addition to his Khasi Hills work, Reverend Sunderland had a commitment to ecumenical work, and was instrumental in founding the World Parliament of Religions in 1893. According to Reverend Mohrmen, the concept of God worshipped by the Unitarians in the Khasi Hills today, as well as that preached by the late Reverend Singh, is unlike the Judeo-Christian tradition, where God takes a human form. The God worshipped by the Khasis is benevolent and formless, knows no geographic borders, favors no tribe and has a dual identity in its “motherhood and fatherhood.”

The Indian State of Meghalaya and Puriang Puriang is located in the Indian state of Meghalaya (population 2.3 million). Meghalaya is located in sub-Himalayan hill country along the border between India and Bangladesh, and was formerly part of the state of Assam. Meghalaya became an autonomous Indian state in 1970 and a full-fledged state in 1972. The state had its start in the 19th century as a British “hill station,” or area where the British military and civil service went to get away from the oppres- sive heat of the subcontinent. It is known for its beautiful orchids. The Meghalaya state is also rich in minerals, and produces coal, limestone, granite and clay, as well as gypsum and phosphorite. During the British occupation, mineral reserves were shipped to other parts of India and this practice continues today. Meghalaya also is one of the few Indian states with surplus power, generated in hydroelectric plants. Principal crops in Meghalaya are food grains, mostly rice, maize (corn), potatoes, jute, cotton, rape and mustard seed, ginger and citrus. The Meghalaya infant mortality rate in the rural areas was 56 births

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per thousand (1999). Many of the residents of the East Khasi Hills area wear deep-colored tartan shawls combined with traditional Indian dress. The city of Shillong, the capital of Meghalaya, has a population of approximately 260,000 people (2001 census). The city was established in 1874 as the capital of Assam, and it is the closest city to Puriang, which is approximately 38 kilometers away. As a result of the British influence, Shillong has a number of examples of 19th century architecture in its British-commissioned churches, buildings, homes, public gardens and its artificial Ward’s Lake (named after Sir William Ward, Chief Commissioner of Assam in 1893–1894). Outside the city is Shillong Peak, which is 1965 meters (6,484 feet) above sea level and numerous scenic waterfalls. The village of Puriang is located on a hilltop ninety minutes away from Shillong on the Kutcha Road (paved), which winds through the Khasi Hills and carries heavy truck traffic. The last 2 km to Puriang are on unpaved roads off the Kutcha Road. The Unitarian Church of Puriang is a concrete building decorated with a flaming chalice on its top. It is located next to the Puriang School. The village has electricity, but neither the village nor the school have running water, and the nearest year-round water source is 2 kilometers away, down the hill. The school has no sanitation facilities. In the entire village, there are approximately 10 outhouses, with allows a ratio of 140 people to each out- house—so that, in practice, the majority of the population does not use sanitary facilities. Students get to school by walking, sometimes up to two hours each way, or by catching rides on public buses. The villagers of Puriang speak Khasi, and Khasi culture is known for its hospitality. Approximately a quarter of the villagers are Unitarians and the other three-quarters attend the Presbyterian and Catholic churches in the village.

The Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Fairfax The Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Fairfax is a 1,000-member church in suburban Fairfax, Virginia (population 22,000), just outside Washington, D.C. Most people in Fairfax work in either high technology, government- related businesses, for the United States or Commonwealth of Virginia government, or in areas that support these businesses, such as education, medi- cine, public safety, retail, etc. Fairfax, Virginia, is ranked 39th in the United

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States in per capita income, with income listed at $31,247 (2005). According to the 2003 Commonwealth of Virginia statistics the infant mortality rate in Fairfax County was 5.2 per thousand live births. The Fairfax congregation is fairly representative of the town. Fairfax has had a Partner Church Circle Committee (PCCC) since 1990, and has had a successful partnership with the Unitarian Church of Szentgerice, Romania, for over 15 years.

Contact Between the Congregations As one Fairfax member commented in a congregational survey on their partnerships, “personal contact is key to good relationships.” Contact between the two congregations poses a number of challenges, but both congregations are committed to working together through them. There have been three visits of Fairfax members to Puriang and Khasi Hills. In 2004, three members of the Fairfax congregation, including Dee and Govind Idnani, toured the Khasi Hills area, and visited interested Unitarian congregations. After their return, they submitted their report of the churches visited and their recommendation to the Fairfax PCCC and a vote was taken on which congregation to develop to become partners with. In 2005, Dee and Govind Adnani returned to Puriang with four other members of Fairfax, including Patricia Fuller, and two members of the UU Charlottesville congregation. According to Khasi custom, Dee Idnani reflects, “the guest is God” and she says the villagers “are very hospitable.” The villagers were reluctant to have the visitors from Fairfax, not for lack of hospitality or commitment to the partnership, but for more practical reasons: the lack of sanitation facilities—there are ten outhouses for 1400 people in the village and because the town has no running water and water for guests must be carried daily from two kilometers away. Providing the extra water for the guests meant that the villagers had to rise at 4 in the morning to collect the extra water. The villagers also are extremely poor (the average teacher’s wage is $20 a month) and having guests, even for a night or two, meant that the villagers felt obligated to serve pork and chicken. Although they are not vegetarians, the Puriang villagers’ protein sources consist mainly of lentils and eggs.

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There is a lack of dependable telephone service in the village and the Meghalaya postal system is unreliable. The nearest Internet café is in Shillong, 90 minutes away. The school Principal, Ditol Mylliemngap, tries to make a weekly trip to Shillong in order to answer email messages from Fairfax. Fairfax Partner Church Circle Committee vice-chair, Dee Idnani, reflects that she “tries to make it clear, but [Fairfax], people just forget” that it is routine to wait a week hear a reply from an email message. Mail service also is erratic and packages posted from Puriang can take two months to get to Fairfax, if they arrive at all. Many letters sent from Fairfax to Puriang are not delivered, due to theft in the Indian postal system, and in particular the practice of opening any card or letter that might contain money. Part of this problem is common in many developing countries, where postal workers are so often poorly paid, and it is assumed that postal workers will supplement their salaries with tips or the postal worker’s own ingenuity. As to the extent of telephone service, in Meghalaya there are approximately 60 residents per telephone connection.

Translation The partnership between Puriang and Fairfax has been helped by the fact that a number of people in Puriang speak English, particularly staff at the Unitarian School, including the Principal, Ditol Mylliemngap. Although Fairfax member Govind Idnani speaks Hindi, this has not been particularly useful in the Khasi Hills area, since the Khasi language is quite different from Hindi. Letters and email messages are sent back and forth in English, and translated into Khasi when necessary.

The Partnership and the Fairfax Organizational Structure The Partner Church Circle Committee (PCCC) is a stand-alone committee within the Fairfax organizational structure, but its activities are integrated with many aspects of church life. When the partnership was first initiated, the PCCC was under the umbrella of the Social Justice Council, but as its activities grew, a decision was made to have the committee be independent. This

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decision came about in part because the partnership by its nature is multi-disciplinary and draws members from many committees. Fairfax has an annual Partner Church Sunday, on which the minister gives a sermon on the partnership. The collection from this service is used to raise funds for the PCCC. The PCCC also participates in an annual Fairfax Yard Sale and sponsors a committee-specific fund-raising activity. Past fundraisers have included concerts, Partner Circle Galas and breakfasts. Patricia Fuller notes that, in both the ministry and lay leadership of the Fairfax congregation, “there is passionate commitment on both sides” to the Partnership. In the past, Fairfax search committees also have included members who are committed to the Partnership and able to talk about the congregation’s commitment to it, as part of the inter- viewing process with candidates applying for positions with the church.

The Benefits of the Puriang Partnership for the Fairfax Congregation The growth in cultural awareness between the two communities and of the benefits of the cultural exchange are some of the greatest benefits for Fairfax. The congregation in Szentgerice has given the Fairfax congregation some extraordinarily precious and intangible gifts: they opened their hearts and homes to Fairfax, and allowed their partners to become a part of another culture and put their UU principles to work, in other words, “to walk the walk.” The partnership with Puriang appears to be growing in the same direction. Even Fairfax’s first partner, the Unitarian Church of Szentgerice, and its enter- prising minister, the Reverend Sándor Balázs also is interested in learning more about Puriang, looking for ways that they can help the community face economic challenges that are greater than its own in Romania. The overall feeling at Fairfax is that people are “so excited about a new partner and see this as an opportunity for new growth” according to Fairfax member Dee Idnani. Many members of the congregation dream of wanting to go, even if it means making plans for a trip ten years from now when their children are grown. Fairfax has had a service on the Puriang–Fairfax partnership and also prepared a video that was used to introduce the congregation to Puriang prior to the vote in January 2005 to become partners.

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Dee Idnani recalled recently how the partnership with Puriang has affected her life. Back from her third trip to Puriang, she has decided to scale down at Christmas in a big way and do without much gift giving—her thought is that we Americans have so much and there are so many better places to put our financial resources than to buy ourselves more things. She recalls coming back to Fairfax from Puriang through London’s Heathrow airport and having a several hour lay-over. Left to wait in the “duty-free” area and “being bombarded with all the things being sold at the Harrods and Starbucks”—it was hard for her to believe that she had been in Kharang, Khasi Hills, and the day before visiting a beautiful hospital with no doctor, and only a midwife and a com- pounder (chemist/pharmacist). In this bustling airport, she closed her eyes and tried for a moment to picture Kharang and despite its poverty, visualize its beauty and warm people.

Ways in Which the Unitarian Church of Puriang has Benefited from the Partnership The Assembly of the State of Meghalaya has recently committed to set aside money for a gravity-flow water system that will bring water into the village of Puriang at an estimated at a cost of approximately $200,000 dollars. Fairfax has been told that the project approval is “almost certain” and the hope is that construction will start on the project in mid-2006. Puriang believes this is in part due to the partnership with Fairfax.

Conclusion There are many hopes and dreams for both congregations as this new partnership starts out. Puriang is hoping that their long-awaited new water system will be installed with better luck than the last one, which was installed 18 years ago and never worked properly from the beginning. Fairfax is excited to learn about the village and the East Khasi Hills area, the Khasi Unitarian tradition and how to be a good partner. One of the challenges is learning how to offer help without being patronizing. As Dee Idnani reflected, “We cannot tell them what to do—or that, for instance, their water is unsafe.”

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The lack of sanitation facilities will continue to be a health issue and a concern for both partners since it not only affects the health of villagers in Puriang, but may affect school attendance and staff productivity as well. The State of Meghalaya has asked for help from non-government agencies with sanitation education and awareness and particularly in the area of solid waste issues and water harvesting; perhaps the partnership will work on this issue together in the future. One of the Fairfax members has already prepared a paper entitled Summary Notes on the Current Puriang Water Situation. According to the State of Meghalaya, one of the main issues is helping people in the Khasi Hills area to understand that harvested rain water is safe to use and that sanitation planning involves not only the provision of clean water, but also the treatment and disposal of solid waste (human and refuse). In whatever direction this partnership progresses, it will be accomplished as a partnership with friendship, fellowship and respect at the forefront.

Resources http://meghalaya.nic.in/ Meghalaya State Portal www.magiccarpetjournels.com/shillong.htm Shillong, India’s Secluded Shangri La www.shillongtimes.com The Shillong Times www.unitarianunion.org The Unitarian Union of North East India http://smb.nic.in/index.htm The Shillong Municipal Board http://www.bangalorenet.com/system1/larsing/place.html Glimpses of Shillong

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East Shore Unitarian Church, BellevueÃ Torockószentgyörgy, Transylvania

A UU Church in the “Technology Corridor” and its efforts to help an agrarian village preserve its Unitarian culture and history.

“The inherent worth and dignity of every person” —First Unitarian Universalist (UU) Principle

t is hard to imagine a city more “wired” than Bellevue, Washington. IAccording to the City’s official website, eighty-five percent of the homes in the city have Internet access. Among the East Shore Unitarian Church, the percentage is even higher, and yet, for the past fifteen years, this church has maintained a partner relationship with a church in Torockószentgyörgy, a small agricultural village in Transylvania, where many homes do not have telephones, let alone Internet access. This case study reflects a partnership where the UU principle “the inherent worth and dignity of every person” has been paramount. The partnership has engaged both communities in an examination of the meanings of the word “progress.” The East Shore Church has 660 members. Bellevue, Washington is a city located outside Seattle, Washington and has a population of about 117, 000 people. It is home to many high-technology companies such as Puget Sound Energy; PACCAR, a manufacturer of trucks and other heavy equipment; Western Wireless and T-Mobile USA; and newer high-technology companies such as Nextlink and VoiceStream Wireless. Its per capita income was estimated to be $41, 929 (2002) and the median age of the population is 37 years. The Microsoft Corporation Headquarters and the University of Washington are nearby. Bellevue is also a diverse community; the public school system boasts that its students speak over fifty languages. Torockószentgyörgy is a small agricultural village in the foothills of the Trascau mountains, in the Transylvanian region of Romania. Much of this region was a primarily feudal society until World War I, and one of the fea- tures of Torockószentgyörgy is the medieval castle on a hilltop that over- looks the village. For many decades the village served as the community

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where the servants lived who worked in the nearby community of Töröck, which was a popular Hungarian resort in the nineteenth century. Today Torockószentgyörgy has more funerals than christenings, as the population either ages or moves away in search of better economic opportunities. In addition to the Unitarian presence in the village, there is a significant Jehovah’s Witness population and a Reformed Church (Calvinist) which has a partner church in Hungary. One of the health issues is the town water supply, which is substandard. The town water supply has economic implications as well, because if in the near future Romania joins the European Union (EU), its agricultural products, particularly cheese, may not be able to meet EU sanitary standards. In early 1990, Reverend Leon Hopper, East Shore Minister Emeritus, received a letter from William Schultz (UUA President) and Natalie Gulbrandsen, (UUA Moderator) announcing a new UUA Partner Church program. By June 1990, they were matched with a Transylvanian partner church, Torockószentgyörgy. As Rev. Hopper reflects, the partner church process “was pretty chaotic” and the matches were “basically random.” This was not the first time that East Shore had been part of a “sister” program, as it had been paired with First Church of Philadelphia in the 1920’s, but that was a long time ago, and this new partner was different—and being nearly 11,000 miles and nine time zones away, it was a lot further away than Philadelphia! (It is an interesting historical note that some of the early Transylvanian—United States partnerships were initiated during the 1920’s by the former American Unitarian Association, which existed before the Unitarian Universalist merger in the early 1960’s). In the fall of 1990, Rev. Hopper attended the International Association of Religious Freedom Conference (IARF) in Hamburg, Germany, where the late Bishop Lajos Kovács (Unitarian Church, Romania) gave the congress sermon. In 1992, the two partner churches had their first exchange visitor, in the form of a member of the University Unitarian Church (Seattle) who was going to Transylvania on business, and agreed to visit the partner churches of both the University and East Shore Unitarian Churches. A year later, Rev. Hopper and a group from East Shore were finally able to meet their partners in Torockószentgyörgy and the minister at the time, the Reverend Sándor Bálint (who retired in 1997). It took a fifteen-hour flight and a long road trip to get there, but the reception for the East Shore visitors “was incredibly

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gracious.” Rev. Hopper preached a sermon and the church held a luncheon after the service. This welcome was all the more poignant, given the fact that it had been only four years since the fall of the Romanian dictator, Nicolae Ceausescu. The current Torockószentgyörgy minister, the Reverend Botond Koppándi, explains that, during the Ceausescu regime, Romanian security police in plain clothes routinely attended Unitarian services to see whether the ministers were passing possible coded messages of resistance or hope to their parishioners.

Contact Between Congregations Once the members from both partner churches met, they developed and have continued a strong commitment to keep in touch and make a concerted effort to have members of East Shore visit Torockószentgyörgy on a regular basis. After the initial visit, Rev. Hopper returned to the village in 1993, groups of individuals from East Shore visited in 1994 and 1997, and in 1999 the first large church group went. The tradition has been to send a group from the church every other year since then. Since the partnership was initiated, two small groups have come to East Shore from Torockószentgyörgy. Also, the Rev. Botond Koppándi was selected to be a Starr King Scholar at the Starr King Theological School (Berkeley, California) in 2000–2001, and during this period, he was able to visit East Shore four times. In 2002, one of the small groups that came included the woman who was the head of the Women’s Federation, a lawyer (now Mayor of Torockószentgyörgy) and a seventeen-year old girl who spoke some English and served as a translator for the group. At the onset of the partnership, communication was by letters in the mail, and Rev. Hopper recalls that both he and Rev. Sándor Bálint (the former Torockószentgyörgy minister) kept in touch about six times a year. There is now email communication with the village, and the ability to place telephone calls. Members of the partnership also have a Women’s Federation sponsored letter writing program, but the vagaries of the Romanian national postal system, and the fact that a large percentage of mail never receives its intended destination, have made it difficult for the Transylvanians to participate and at times hard for the Americans to be understanding about delayed or even unanswered letters. As ESPCC member Barbara Shelton

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noted, “Americans are used to quick conversations,” e.g., telephone and email, and Transylvanians are not known as letter writers, no doubt the legacy of poor postal delivery and the dangers of having mail intercepted during the Soviet occupation era and the subsequent Ceausescu years.

Translation On the first trip, the East Shore brought a couple of translators with them to Torockószentgyörgy, one of them a theological student, as few people in the village spoke English and nobody in East Shore spoke Hungarian or Romanian. Since then, the number of people who speak English in Torockó- szentgyörgy has increased dramatically, and now includes the minister, Rev. Botond Koppándi. In 2004, in preparation for another group’s visit from Torockószentgyörgy, East Shore hired Karen Tripp, an American teacher who lives in Transylvania, to provide English lessons to the group prior to their U.S. visit. In the U.S., the East Shore congregation has reached out to the local community for help with translation and identified half-dozen of Transylvanians and Hungarians in the Seattle area who assist with translation and are compensated by the church. In addition, the Seattle-area Hungarian-American Association has been a cultural resource and supported Partner Church activities with its dance group and attendance at East Shore Partner Church functions. Members of this organization have attended the East Shore Partner Church Committee’s end-of-the-year potluck, have volunteered to come and serve as waiters at the committee’s fundraising Hungarian dinners and have come to events held for visitors from Transylvania (East Shore generally tries to have the current Transylvanian Starr King Scholar visit the church from Berkeley for its Partner Church Sunday and hospitality event).

The Partnership and the East Shore Organizational Structure At its inception, the East Shore Partner Church Committee (ESPCC) was a freestanding committee, and long-time committee member Barbara Shelton reflects that it “is pretty much in the mainstream of the church.” For the past five years, the ESPCC has been one of the Outreach and Social Justice

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Committees. The activities of the ESPCC are thoroughly integrated into the life of East Shore, so much so that when a congregational survey was conducted a few years ago, the ESPCC was found to be one of the five key committees in the church. This integration has been a function of several fac- tors: ministerial commitment; congregational vision; the congregation’s interest in and celebration of Transylvanian Unitarian culture and its religious tradition, and the congregation’s bi-annual visits to Torockószentgyörgy. East Shore’s Minister Emeritus, Rev. Leon Hopper, had long been interested in Transylvanian Unitarianism, but had little hope of visiting the home of Ferenc Dávid (David Francis) and the site of the Diet of Torda (the 16th century debate whose prize was Transylvanian religious freedom and a royal grant allowing Unitarians, specifically, to practice their religion) under the Soviet occupation and later the Ceausescu dictatorship (1965–1989). In 1990, Rev. Hopper wasted no time in becoming part of the UUA’s partnership program and was able to hear the late Lajos Kovács, a Transylvanian Bishop, preach at the 1990 IARF convention in Germany. East Shore’s present Senior Minister, the Rev. Peter J. Luton, has continued this tradition of support by participating in collegial relationships with Transylvanian Unitarian ministers, in his sermons and writing, and through his support of East Shore’s ESPCC activities and trips to Torockószentgyörgy. The centerpiece of ESPCC’s congregational activities is the Partner Church Weekend, where outside speakers are invited to attend. The committee also holds Hungarian fund-raising dinners and an annual end-of-the-year committee pot luck. A few years ago, at a Partner Church weekend, the congregation learned from Torockószentgyörgy minister Botond Koppándi that a young boy in the village had a brain tumor, and that, in order to survive, he needed to go to neighboring Hungary for an operation that would cost several thousand dollars. They were able to raise several thousand dollars for the operation at the Sunday Partner Church service. The East Shore congregation has integrated their partnership program in other ways that many congregants feel strengthen the ties between the two churches. The ESPCC Bulletin Board, with its updated notices, photographs, posters and brochures on upcoming trips, serves as a beacon to draw the congregation to its on-going activities. Subtler but just as meaningful cultural symbols include beautiful Transylvanian needlework pieces that hang in the church

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sanctuary, and other examples of needlework that have been displayed in the East Shore art gallery. One of the church’s precious treasures, which is brought out from time to time, is a donated antique Transylvanian wedding costume from the 1920’s that had been brought to the Seattle area by Transylvanian parents for their young daughter (now eighty) to wear on her wedding day.

The ESPCCÃTorockószentgyörgy Scholarship Program One of the partner church committee’s key efforts was to create a Torockószentgyörgy Scholarship Program for high school students in the village. High school study is an economic hardship for students in the village, as there is no secondary school close by and the students must board in the cities and towns where they study. The Scholarship Program, which is funded through ESPCC fundraising efforts, offers academic and trade school opportunities to well over fourteen students in the village. The ESPCC scholarships provide a significant contribution to the students’ room and board expenses. The scholarships are administered by the Unitarians in the village. At first, ESPCC had asked the Torockószentgyörgy Scholarship Committee to have the students fill out applications and to distribute the scholarships based on need. The two congregations found that “need-based” was a foreign concept to the Transylvanians, and one that created tension in the village over the size of grants that different students were receiving. After a couple of years of experi- mentation with the concept of need-based aid, the two congregations reached a joint decision to set up a more culturally-sensitive scholarship system where the same grant was given to all students for high school and post-high school training. Americans as a rule are invested in systems that exact honesty and fairness from both the individual and the government (or non-government organization) when asking for financial assistance, whether for health care, housing or education, etc. It was challenging for the congregants of ESPCC to visualize their partner church’s somewhat different perspective on the ESPCC proposal for a scholarship model, i.e., that a “need-based” system might be seen in the village as an opportunity for personal gain and potential disharmony. One of the other challenges in the implementation of the Torockószent- györgy scholarship program has been the ability to recruit boys for the

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program. In the village of Torockószentgyörgy, many of the fathers want their sons to continue the agricultural tradition and to become farmers. The reason for this concern is that if the sons do not continue this tradition, the land which is currently being farmed goes back to the state (Romanian government).

The East Shore Financial Investment ESPCC raises funds for the partnership from several sources: Partner Church Sunday service collections; Hungarian dinners and galas; and “add on” fees (which have been one hundred dollars per traveler on past trips and may be raised in future) that are assessed to members of the congregation who travel on the ESPCC’s bi-annual trips to Torockószentgyörgy. The revenue from this 660 member congregation on a Partner Church Sunday is often well over $3,000 dollars. There also have been special collections for things such as needed surgery (the boy with the brain tumor) and the Transylvanian floods in the summer of 2005. The East Shore operating budget also sets aside $1000 a year for the ESPCC, a portion of which is given to the Torockószentgyörgy minister as a salary supplement.

The Torockószentgyörgy Investment The Unitarian Church of Torockószentgyörgy has invested funds, sweat equity and materials into the East Shore—Torockószentgyörgy partnership and its sponsored projects over the past fifteen years. It has gone out of its way to offer hospitality to East Shore visitors on the bi-annual trip to Torockószentgyörgy. Many of the villagers have invested time in learning English (high school students in school and adults with Karen Tripp) in an effort to become translators for the partnership. They have invested sweat equity in the renovation of the Unitarian church parsonage (running water and a toilet); the renovation of the Cantor’s house (running water and new light fixtures); the cleaning and painting of the inside of the church and of the building which is to be used as a medical clinic. They also have raised funds for the repairs to the steeple in the village church. Finally, it is also important not to overlook the energy spent administering the scholarship program and the larger commitment of the community to educate its youth.

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The Decision Making Process Used to Determine How the Funds are Spent The ESPCC and the Torockószentgyörgy minister, Rev. Botond Koppándi, together with village leaders jointly make decisions as to how the funds for Torockószentgyörgy projects are spent, based on informal consultation. The funds are given directly to the minister, who pays for project bills and services. The East Shore congregation’s rule of thumb is that it will match any funds that the villagers are able to raise themselves. A recent example of this is the church steeple, which needed a complete renovation. The village was able to raise the equivalent of $800 towards the work and East Shore provided a matching gift. Using the same arrangement, East Shore also helped to fund the renovation of a building which the village has been allowed to use as a clinic for a village doctor (there has been no village physician in the past).

The Benefits of the Partnership for the East Shore Unitarian Congregation There are many visible symbols of the partnership in the East Shore Church, such as the ESPCC bulletin board, the tapestry hanging in the sanctuary, monthly ESPCC meetings (and pot luck dinners), Hungarian dinners and its annual Partner Church Weekend, which includes speakers and other activities. The partnership also has encouraged deepening friendships between members of the congregation traveling on a trip together, 8,000 miles from home. Letters from Torockószentgyörgy pen pals serve as a reminder of the relationship between church visits. For some members of the congregation, such as Julie Gerrard, making the “pilgrimage” to Transylvania and Torockószent- györgy led to a long-term involvement in the ESPCC (she is the current committee chair). For many, the non-visible but equally important benefits of the partnership have been the development of their global awareness or deepened religious beliefs. Senior Minister Rev. Peter J. Luton writes in the November 2005 issue of the East Shore Beacon, after a pilgrimage to Transylvania, that the trip made him keenly conscious that “the right to worship as we choose and according to our own conscience” is a “precious right, a costly right,” won with “sacrifice and

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courage.” He adds that the trip “stirred the fires of my faith and burned away easy complacency about the importance of supporting our church community.” For Julie Gerrard, one of the major benefits of the partnership has been “being aware of the wider world.” In the same vein, Rev. Leon Hopper, East Shore’s Minister Emeritus, says that the partnership has brought “global awareness, international contact and outreach that had not been there before.” He also believes that it has given many individuals “a degree of understanding of their (UU) faith, heritage and roots.” Rev. Hopper also notes that the congregation’s relationship with Torockószentgyörgy has taken “individuals out of themselves and has made them look at themselves in a different light.”

The Benefits of the Partnership for the Unitarian Church of Torockószentgyörgy The primary concern of the minister and the congregation of Torockószent- györgy’s appears to be the future of the village, which has an aging population and youth who are forced to look for economic opportunities elsewhere in Romania and Europe. The future of their village, from the Torockószent- györgy perspective, is intertwined with the preservation of their heritage and culture as Unitarians. Symbolically for this community, ESPCC member Barbara Shelton reflects, the church and the church yard reflect “a place of pride.” This is understandable, given over four decades of efforts to stamp a Romanian national identity on Transylvania. From the Torockószentgyörgy perspective (they were not interviewed for this case study), the major benefit of the partnership with their East Shore neighbors might well be the opportunity to preserve something they are very much afraid of losing—their heritage and historic buildings. Other benefits of the partnership to the village and its minister include: the scholarship program, which has offered education and greater economic opportunity for its youth; the opportunity for the Rev. Botond Koppándi to spend a year as a Starr King Scholar in Berkeley, California; the renovation of the minister’s and cantor’s houses; the new church steeple and interior renova- tions; and the renovation of the new building for use as a medical clinic. Non- tangible benefits include friendships between members of both congregations,

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visits to East Shore and Bellevue, Washington, for a few of the villagers and the establishment of a Women’s Federation in the village.

Conclusion The success of the East Shore—Torockószentgyörgy partnership has been the fruit of commitment over time, and the ability for both congregations to be accepting of each other and of “the inherent worth and dignity of every person.” This relationship has had its challenges, and sometimes one congregation’s perspective is not the most pressing concern for the other. An example is East Shore’s interest in helping bring about a safe public water supply, which although much needed from both the public health and the economic standpoint (clean water will be needed if the local cheese fac- tory is to sell its product within the EU), was not what the Torockó-szent- györgy parishioners wanted help with. The Torockószentgyörgy congregation is concerned that there will be any people, particularly Unitarians, left in the village to use a new water supply, as its deaths greatly outnumber its births. It is also concerned about losing access to land, if sons decide not to become farmers, which has been farmed by families for generations if not centuries. Finally, the concept of reaching out to all members of a community is a particularly American value—some might argue that our generosity as a culture is one of our major strengths. The perspective of the Transylvanian Unitarians often seems to be more centered on their own parishioners, than on the broader community. Thus there is a gap between this and East Shore’s interest that the partnership project serve all groups in the village, i.e., the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Reformed Church members as well as the Unitarians. This is a gap that will take patience and understanding to bridge. Going forward, perhaps hope and growth for the Torockószentgyörgy—East Shore partnership will lie in the same small details of the partnership, the visits, the worship services, etc. that have sustained its growth so far. Communication on this personal level will be further enhanced as more of the village youth learn English (which the minister, Rev. Botond Koppándi, also speaks). At the same time, many youth may regard language skills as a way out of the village, and keeping the community viable will remain a challenge.

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Unitarian Universalist Church of FairfaxÃ Unitarian Church of Szentgerice, Transylvania

A Unitarian Universalist Partnership Church Council (UUPCC) Relationship that Utilizes the Social Services Delivery Model

“I am 26 now, and still think of Romania every day…The inherent worth and dignity, how often did I think of farmers in a developing country before the trip? Not at all! But after the trip I knew some, and that helped change my worldwide prospective.” —Monica, who first visited Szentgerice at age 16, and returned at age 20

t started with an initial telephone call in 1990, which randomly assigned a IUnitarian church in Szentgerice, Romania to a Unitarian Universalist church in Fairfax, Virginia as partners. The telephone call led to approximately one hundred forty people from Fairfax, Virginia, making trips to Szentgerice, Romania, nearly 5,000 miles apart over a fifteen year period. These trips have generated a medical clinic, a social worker, a mini-van, but most important, a community. The two churches are the Unitarian Church of Szentgerice (Szentgerice) (or Galapeni in Romanian), located in the Carpathian Mountains, 350 miles from Hungary in Romania, with a population of approximately 600, half of whom belong to the church. The other church is the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Fairfax (UUCF), a 1,000-member church in suburban Fairfax, Virginia (population 22,000), just outside Washington, D.C. Szentgerice is a small, predominantly agricultural village in Romania, whose livelihood depends on producing wheat, potatoes, sugar beets, produce, poultry, dairy herds, pigs, goats, homemade cherry brandy and red wine. It was first mentioned on the king’s tax records in the early 1300’s. Despite the changes that have swept Romania since the end of the Soviet era and the col- lapse of the Ceausescu regime, Szentgerice remains an agricultural commune or cooperative. The village is composed mainly of ethnic Hungarians, who speak Hungarian, Romanian and increasingly English, with a few Roma

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families, who speak Hungarian and Roma. The village’s religious affiliation is roughly divided in half: those who identify themselves as Unitarians and those who identify themselves as Calvinists or Reformed. The Unitarian Church building in Szentgerice, though built by Catholics, has housed Unitarians for centuries. Despite its unpaved roads and lack of indoor toilets, Szentgerice has a number of modern amenities. Most families have cellular telephones, natural gas, electricity, and televisions (“the Young and the Restless” is a popular soap opera in the village), and a number of families have their own vehicles. The village also has a modern tractor purchased and owned by the village. Julie Waser, Chair of the UUCF Partner Church Circle, adds, “the town has a cultural center where villagers come together for dances and plays, a small primary school (there is a fifth through eighth grade school three kilometers away) and many houses painted in every color imaginable, with hand-crafted tin gutters and red clay tile roofs.” The villagers grow grape vine arbors in their gardens both for shade and consumption. The home gardens also contain every vegetable imaginable, most have wells, and a few have elaborately carved gates. The Szentgerice Reformed Church (Calvinist), the only other church in the village, has a partnership with the Reformed Church in Dronten, Netherlands. The village has a few Jehovah’s Witnesses families as well. Though low-income, villagers deeply value family and friendships, which are the focus of life in the village. The legacy of the Nicolae Ceausescu years (1965–1989), which particularly affected ethnic minorities in Romania, has left its mark on village life. There is a fear of expressing religious views, and long experience with economic hardship, political corruption and government retaliation. Despite the years of hardship, the people of Szentgerice still retain a strong sense of village life. The village has a thirty-member troupe that performs traditional folk dances accompanied by the violin and concertina, and gives performances locally and in neighboring towns.

Contact Between the Congregations As one UUCF member commented, “Personal contact is key to good relationships.” The Szentgerice–UUCF Partnership did not grow by chance,

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aside, perhaps, from the decision to pair the two churches together in 1990. When UUCF minister, Ralph Scottsman learned about this new program, he decided to ask a member of the congregation, Emery Lazar, an Hungarian chemist (not from Romania), if he would be willing to take the lead. Within four months time, Lazar went to Transylvania in order to introduce himself to the community as a UUCF representative and to the Szentgerice minister, the late the Reverend Attila Csongcay (whose life was tragically cut short by cancer in 1997), and the Szentgerice church community. At the same time, UUCF formed the Partner Church Circle Committee (PCCC). In 1992, a year later, the Reverend Csongcay and his wife were invited to visit UUCF, and Rev. Csongcay was invited to give the first Partner Church Sunday sermon, which was translated into English by Lazar. This visit was such a success that the UUCF choir decided to visit Szentgerice the following year. In 1992, forty people (the choir and family members) had the welcome of their lives as they arrived in Szentgerice—with flowers, bells ringing and the whole town out to greet them. As Lazar remembers, “they were so happy to welcome their American friends (and the first Westerners) to the village, who they hoped would protect them in the future” (should there be another Ceausescu). Emery and two relatives he recruited from Hungary were the sole translators for this trip, and he was so exhausted translating for the lines of people waiting to be helped that he forgot to take the time to eat! A number of people at UUCF believe that the 1992 choir trip was the catalyst for bonding between the two churches. The UUCF group returned to Fairfax and could not suppress their enthusiasm about their experience, and interest in the partnership grew. Since the first UUCF choir trip, 140 people from UUCF have visited the village altogether, there has been a second choir trip, and four visits by the Partner Church minister. UUCF ministers Joseph Bartlett and James Nelson have traveled to the village with UUCF groups. Individuals who joined the partner church committee at UUCF visited as well, including Rosalie Clavez, who has established a fair-trade handicrafts project, and Robert Tripp who has been to the village thirteen times. Between trips, the two churches keep in touch through emails, letters, and by telephone. Only the two Szentgerice ministers and their wives have visited UUCF, the late Rev. Csongcay and Rev. Sándor Balázs (the current minister),

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as there are concerns, both in the village and at UUCF, about favoritism and how to select other members of the village for this opportunity in an equi- table way. There has been at least one instance of a Szentgerice university student who has come to the United States for seasonal employment and visited UUCF, but this visit took place independently of the partnership.

Translation Other than Emery Lazar, who speaks the Hungarian language, and the Szentgerice villagers, who have enterprisingly picked up English while watching British and American television programs, the program has not relied on translators to communicate other than to translate correspondence. Some members of UUCF have taken Hungarian lessons, and Lazar has developed a list of key phrases that he has shared with the congregation. Most UUCF members rely on phrase books and dictionaries.

The Partnership and the UUCF Organizational Structure The Partner Church Circle Committee (PCCC) is a stand-alone committee within the UUCF organizational structure, but its activities are integrated in many aspects of church life. When the partnership was first initiated, the PCCC was under the umbrella of the Social Justice Council, but as its activities grew, a decision was made to have the committee be independent, in part because the partnership by its nature is multi-disciplinary. UUCF has an annual Partner Church Sunday, where the minister gives a sermon on the partnership. The collection from this service is used to raise funds for the PCCC. The PCCC participates in an annual UUCF Yard Sale and sponsors a committee-specific fund-raising activity. These have included concerts, Partner Circle Galas and breakfasts. Patricia Fuller notes that in both the UUCF ministry and the UUCF lay leadership “there is passionate commitment on both sides” to the Partnership. In the past, UUCF search committees also have included members who are committed to the Partnership and able to talk about the congregation’s commitment to it, as part of the inter- viewing process with candidates applying for positions at UUCF.

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The UUCF Scholarship Program In 2001, Robert Tripp, a retired high school teacher, initiated a UUCF scholarship program in order to send youth from Szentgerice to the Unitarian High School in the local city; this program is independent of the PCCC. In 2005, members of the UUCF congregation sponsored 24 students at the high school, each pledging to cover the $300 a year cost per student. The onus for the success of the scholarship program is that the congregation is helping real people in a direct way. One congregant recently asked Tripp, “Do you still need money, I have a couple of thousand dollars that are not doing anything and would like to contribute three thousand dollars.” As Patricia Fuller, a PCCC member noted: “Unitarians value education and this has been a connecting element between Fairfax and Szentgerice. Education and academics are an important part of their history and the tradition of literature; they have some of the best poets that I have read.”

The UUCF Financial Investment Annually, the UUCF has been able to generate funds in the vicinity of five to six thousand dollars. This includes the Partner Church Sunday collection, proceeds from the Yard Sale, 50 percent of the proceeds from the Handicraft Project (the artisans receive the other half), and the proceeds from the annual PCCC fund raising event. The UUCF church budget sets aside a nominal amount of money, which is annually given to the Szentgerice minister as a dis- cretionary fund.

The Decision Making Process Used to Determine How the Funds are Spent The Szentgerice church and the UUCF have used an informal decision-making process with ideas being presented by both congregations, with the minister and ten to twelve village leaders present, including the current mayor. Over the years, the village has presented UUCF with a possible wish list, and the ensuing conversations have addressed what is needed most, what would have the greatest benefit and what form of sweat equity by the villagers might serve as an investment by the village. These conversations have been extraordinarily

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fruitful and have led to the establishment of the multi-faceted Tiboldi Foundation in Szentgerice, a non-profit organization funded jointly by UUCF and by the Reformed Church’s partner church in the Netherlands, and which serves all the villagers in Szentgerice.

The Tiboldi Foundation In 1994, the UUCF met with leaders in Szentgerice and asked, “What can we do for you?” UUCF heard the message loud and clear from the Szentgerice leaders that they needed a medical clinic, because there were no medical services available to the village. The Rev. Sándor Balázs suggested that a separate legal entity be established, with a board of trustees, and he offered to obtain legal approval for it from the Romanian authorities. He expressed concern that, after the legacy of Romanian corruption during the Ceausescu years, funds raised not be managed by one individual but by a separate group. The establishment of the privately-owned Tiboldi Foundation also insured that, unlike donations to the village which could be intercepted and sent to other cities, medical equipment and supplies would be sent directly to the parties intended. Because Hungarian Unitarians and Reformed church members are a minority in Romania, another purpose of the Tiboldi Foundation was to insure that all villagers, regardless of religious affiliation, received services. Since the initial conversation in 1994, the foundation has met with success. The organization has built and maintained the Csongcay Attila Memorial Health Clinic (1997), hired a village social worker, repaired the local primary school, repaired the Szentgerice roof and purchased a mini-van for the foundation’s social worker’s use. Prior to meeting with the leadership in Szentgerice, UUCF PCCC members hold an annual retreat where they set up priorities for the next year.

The Szentgerice Investment A number of members of the UUCF PCCC are quick to point out that Balázs’s vision, leadership, and entrepreneurial energy play a large role in the success of the partnership and the foundation. They also mention his generosity. When visiting UUCF a few years back, and attending the UUCF

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Partner Circle Gala and auction, Balázs decided to donate a two-week vacation in his own home. Julie and Mark Waser had the highest bid and enjoyed the trip of their lives with their two children, Morgan and Mark. The Waser’s Szentgerice-donated vacation included: a trip to the Salt Mines at Parajd; the craft village of Korond; the Bibliotheca; the Bolyai Museum and visits to the cities of Marosvásárhely; Kolozsvár and Torda Gorge. It is not a generalization to say that all the villagers have contributed to the Partnership, as during the building of the Attila Csongcay Medical Clinic building, construction labor entirely was done by the village and the expectation was that families (including children) were assessed a number of hours they were expected to donate to the project. In addition to working on the construction project, villagers have donated: time for meetings; labor; hospitality when hosting UUCF visitors in their homes (there is so much enthusiasm in this area that there are concerns that not everyone in the village has had the opportunity); and many women participate in the Handicrafts Project, of which 50% of the proceeds are donated to the Szentgerice and UUCF Partnership.

The Benefits of the Szentgerice and UUCF Partnership for UUCF “The Partner Church trip turned my faith from a philosophy made by intellec- tuals to a religious experience as revolutionary and necessary as any other religion. Except this one makes sense” —a member of the UUCF congregation “Puts us in touch with a positive expression of traditional values, reverence of family and ancestors and is an example of things we don’t do. They visit graves weekly.” —UUCF teen A paper trail on a spreadsheet would analytically demonstrate a flow of dollars, from UUCF accounts to the Tiboldi Foundation; but as with any church investment whether to a church Social Justice Committee, to Religious Education, or to a choir—the dollars, though essential, are only a small piece

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of the whole picture. In the instance of the Szentgerice and UUCF partnership it is clear that both communities have invested deeply in the venture and have reaped the benefits—benefits that in some instances would show up on a proverbial spreadsheet, such as the number of Unitarian Szentgerice high school students educated; the number of UUCF parishioners hosted in Romanian homes and meals served; the number of letters and/or the number of emails traded back and forth between the two congregations.

The congregation in Szentgerice gave the UUCF congregation a number of extraordinarily precious and intangible gifts: it opened its hearts and homes to UUCF.

The next level of benefit is not as easily quantifiable: the integration of the two communities and benefits of the cultural exchange. In our interviews with UUCF partnership participants, it was clear that the congregation in Szentgerice profoundly affected the way the UUCF congregation viewed their church-life, community, friendships and even civic life. It is important to recognize that the church partnership is a 21st century relationship and that the residents of Szentgerice think of themselves as citizens in the present. The UUCF, on their visits to the village which is beautiful and relatively unspoiled, did not find a long-lost Shangri La, a place unlike the U.S., where William Wordsworth, the 18th century English poet wrote (on industrial Britain) that “the world is too much with us, late and soon, getting and spending, we lay waste our powers.” The congregation in Szentgerice gave the UUCF congregation a number of extraordinarily precious and intangible gifts: it opened its hearts and homes to UUCF. It allowed them to become a part of another culture and to put their UU principles to work, in other words “to walk the walk.” Allowing UUCF to become part of the Szentgerice community has literally transformed a number of congregant’s lives. In the process of learning about another culture, its traditions and values, they have had the opportunity to reexamine their own values and how (or not) they put them into practice. Not to draw attention to the obvious, but Fairfax, Virginia is ranked 39th in the United States in per capita income with income (2005) listed at $31, 247; this

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congregation no doubt has many American success stories. The UUCF found that the congregation in Szentgerice had another form of wealth to share, not in income or natural resources, but in their knowledge about the importance of family, community and inter-connectedness. UUCF member Patricia Fuller recalled recently how the partnership with Szentgerice has affected her life. She arrived with the choir in 1992, and at her host family home, there were two young children, a girl and a boy, staying with their grandparents (the hosts) for the summer. After remaining in touch with the family for a decade, in 2002 it was time for the young children to go to college. She and her husband drew up a contract with the now-young adults with the proviso that they would not be expected to repay the Fullers, but to pass the good turn to another person and help them out. The young girl decided that she wanted to use the help to get married and to start a family. The young man attended university and eventually completed a M.A. in International Finance—working two jobs in the summer in Ocean City, Maryland in order to finance his education in Romania. He was able to work in the neighboring state, Maryland, within driving distance of the Fullers and to become part of their family life in America. The Partnership with Szentgerice has changed the Waser’s lives as well, by providing the opportunity to explore another country and culture and to make and keep new friends. The families’ memories of watching the storks in the village, or riding home on the Szentgerice mini-bus singing “boisterously” with a group from the village as they returned home from a trip together, or Sarika (Balázs’s wife) teaching their daughter Morgan how to make macramé knots for a plant hangar and a friendship bracelet; or Balázs making “butter-only” sandwiches for their son Thomas; will be reflected, shared with others and become an important chapter in their family history. In addition to the benefit of having the opportunity to travel to another country, and learn about its culture and traditions; the UUCF congregation has benefited greatly from the care and friendship they have received from their Szentgrice partners and from the opportunity to work successfully with the villagers in order to improve the standard of living for everyone. An essential element in this partnership is that the UUCF did not view the Szentgerice members as underprivileged, nor needing to be “taken care of ” or “rescued”, despite the privation of the Ceausescu years, a history of religious persecution

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toward Unitarians dating from the 18th century (many other Christian groups do not consider them Christians), and the economic hardship which is part of day-to-day life for many Romanians. The Szentgerice members also began the partnership with the assumption that they had much to give the UUCF through hospitality and friendship, and welcoming the UUCF into village life. As UUCF member Patricia Fuller observed: “Once you connect with them you have a family, they want to know what you do, what your sister is doing and what your daughter is doing… They care about you. I often wonder if we have allowed them into our lives enough.”

Ways in Which the Unitarian Church of Szentgerice has Benefited from the Partnership The most visible symbol of the partnership between the two congregations is the Csongcay Attila Health Services Center which was built by the villagers and made possible by the Tiboldi Foundation, which is supported by both the UUCF and the Reformed Church of Dronten, Netherlands and the Szentgerice Village Social Worker, Mr. József Santa (also paid for by the Tiboldi Foundation), who serves a multi-faceted role in village life. Neither of the projects receives financial support from the Romanian government. In 1994, the lack of health care services in the village first prompted discussion for the need for such a facility and the seed for the Csongcay Attila Medical Clinic was planted. As previously mentioned, the Reverend Sándor Balázs suggested the establishment of a private entity, the Tiboldi Foundation, which would allow for flexibility as to how the donated funds would be spent and protect the proposed facility from municipal and national oversight. Members of the UUCF and Dronten Reformed Church as well as leaders from Szentgerice sit on the Tiboldi Foundation Board of Directors. The medical clinic opened in 2001 and offers up-to-date medical equipment as well as housing for the village’s resident physician. The Szentgerice Social Worker is a “first of its kind” for Romania; this position was made possible by funds from the Tiboldi Foundation, which pays the salary. A mini-bus was purchased in Germany in 2000, also with funds from the Tiboldi Foundation. Finding the right person was crucial to this program according to Szentgerice’s minister Sándor Balázs,

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who said the person must be trustworthy and have the respect of the people in the village. The Social Worker transports the fifth through eighth grade students to the neighboring village so they do not have to walk, which has greatly improved grades for the students. The Social Worker also takes students to exams and competitions, takes the youth to sports activities, and takes people to events in their lives such as weddings, funerals, in other villages. Finally, the Social Worker also supports the Medical Clinic, serving as the village’s ambulance and takes village residents to visit relatives in nursing homes in the neighboring towns of Maroszarpatak and Lókod. Annual support for this program is in the vicinity of a thousand dollars a year according to Reverend Balázs. Other benefits to Szentgerice have been the Handicrafts Project, the Unitarian High School Scholarship Program, and the small (but helpful fees) host families receive to cover expenses when UUCF members stay in their homes. The Tiboldi Foundation also has provided indoor toilets for the primary school and helped repair the roof and furnace of the Unitarian Church in Szentgerice.

Conclusion It has been fifteen years since the Partnership between the Unitarian Church of Szentgerice and the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Fairfax first developed and much has been accomplished through the concerted effort of the two congregations. Nicolae Ceausescu is now a sad chapter in Romania’s history for the younger generation and thankfully, well in the past for the elders. Twenty-four high school students are now studying at the Unitarian High School in Kolozsvár thanks to scholarships funded by the UUCF and some youth have gone on to university. Members of both generations have become parents and grandparents during this period; some have retired. The leitmotif that runs throughout this partnership is how having each other in each other’s lives and community has made each groups’ life richer. Robert Tripp feels that this experiment worked because “people want to do good.” To those who worry that the villagers have become dependent on the UUCF, his reply is “We are only helping the people of Szentgerice to get a leg up so they can help themselves.” Emery Lazar believes that the Partnership’s legacy has been the

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“people to people friendships in the UUCF congregation and bolstered by simple loving letters (back and forth) and lots in common which has enabled the Partners to become family.” Both Fuller and Lazar feel that part of the success of the Partnership has been the chemistry; Lazar has observed that the Hungarians in Romania are hard working, tidy people with a strong work ethic. Fuller also reflected on the fact that “Unitarians value education” whether in Szentgerice or in Fairfax. From the Szentgerice perspective—the next decade will bring new challenges to the Partnership: high school students in Szentgerice will face decisions as to whether or not to return to the village after their schooling; the increased demand for vehicles may introduce traffic into village life; and pos- sibly larger issues may emerge, such as whether or not the village will continue to be organized as an agricultural commune or whether there will be a push for privatization. Back in Virginia, at UUCF, the challenges may come as the founding members of the UUCF Partnership Circle retire and eventually pass the baton to the next UUCF generation; new partnerships may be formed in other countries, (Patricia Fuller was leaving for Khasi Hills in India shortly after this interview with me); and some of the success or failure may depend on the “chemistry” and whether or not the two congregations continue to click. Fortunately, Sándor Balázs, in addition to being committed to his flock, has extraordinary energy and ability to manage a wide range of projects simultaneously. The hope among all interviewed for this case study was that the roots had been planted sufficiently deep on both sides to insure that the Partnership will continue on to the next generation. The hope also is that more of the villagers of Szentgerice will be able to come and visit UUCF and the United States. In her interview UUCF member Patricia Fuller suggested as an ice-breaking tip, to consider bringing a genealogy chart with you when you visit a partner church for the first time, in order to help your hosts see a diagram of your relatives. Perhaps in the future both congregations will have genealogy charts prominently displayed in the churches, but instead of showing ancestors they will have a tree showing the history of UUCF and Szentgerice friendships. Fuller also suggested that if someone has the opportunity to participate in a partner church program, that they should consider bringing maple syrup, as it was her experience that the Szentgerice youth

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were very interested in how it is made. The young man, whom the Fullers are sponsoring, wrote a paper on the manufacturing process in college, and people from Szentgerice like the taste. Julie Waser suggested to those interested in visiting partner churches “to take risks” even if they don’t speak English. You might just have fun!

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First Parish in Bedford Unitarian UniversalistÃ Unitarian Church of Abásfalva, Translyvania

Developing a Partnership as a Transylvanian Congregation and its Village Transition from a Traditional Agrarian Economy

“I was afraid, it was Eastern Europe. I grew up during the Cold War.” —Sharon McDonald, Bedford, Massachusetts “Come to my village, you will need nothing but a camera. We have a flag in our town.” (upon viewing the historic Bedford flag) —Gergely Miklós, Abásfalva, Romania

edford, Massachusetts is a suburban town, fifteen miles from Boston, B with a population of nearly 13,000 people. Approximately 57% of its adults have a college education and approximately 90% of its residents were born in the United States. The town is close to the Massachusetts’s high technology “Route 128” belt and companies such as Raytheon, Sun Computer, Millipore, Mitre, Siemens, and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) Lincoln Laboratory are located in the town or nearby. Hanscom Field, home to both an Air Force base and a commercial airport, is partly located in the town. Many town residents work in the computer, telecommunications, internet, defense, and biotechnology industries. Bedford was incorporated in 1729, after the townspeople petitioned for permission to form their own church, because they found the journey to church in Concord or Billerica too long and arduous in the heat of summer and the bitter cold of winter. First Parish Church has been central to the Town ever since (the church formally became Unitarian in 1830). One of the town’s beloved historical artifacts is the “Bedford Flag,” the oldest known complete flag in the United States, which is displayed in the Town Library. The flag is historically significant for several reasons. Nathanial Page, a member of the Bedford “Minutemen” militia and the son of one of the founding members of the church, carried the flag to the Concord Bridge on April 19, 1775, to the first battle of the American Revolution. Before the

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Revolutionary War, the flag had accompanied a Massachusetts Militia caval- ry troop to the French and Indian Wars. Although the Bedford colonists and Minutemen have since become part of American history, in many ways the same courage, vision and determination that that carried the flag to the Concord Bridge are part of Bedford today. This colonial spirit of having a vision and taking chances is a factor in the success of the unique partnership that has developed between First Parish Bedford Unitarian Universalist (First Parish) and the Unitarian Church of Abásfalva, in the Transylvanian region of Romania. The Reverend John Gibbons, Senior Minister at First Parish, is clear that it was not altruism that prompted him to announce to the Parish Committee, as part of a visioning exercise at a June 1993 retreat, that “he wanted to take a group from First Parish to Transylvania and to bring them back to Bedford alive.” Reverend Gibbons reflects that he had “no idea of what he was getting into” and that he thought of this as an opportunity and took a chance. He was elated that “the Parish Committee took a chance with him.” He felt that the partnership would be an opportunity to enliven congregational life and to keep the congregation engaged. In his college years, Reverend Gibbons had been a member of the International Religious Fellowship (IRF). He remembers that he first became aware of the existence of Unitarian Universalists living in other parts of the world through a speech that Dana Greeley, first president of the Unitarian Universalist Association, made in the 1960’s, about Unitarian Universalism stretching from Marblehead to Scituate and all the way to Transylvania and the Khasi Hills of India. Natalie Gulbrandsen, the UUA Moderator in 1993, assigned First Parish a partner, the Unitarian Church of Abásfalva, Transylvania, and the partners’ first contact was through letters between John Gibbons and his counterpart in Abásfalva, the Reverend Áron Barabás. One of the first things that John Gibbons sent Áron Barabás was a copy of the First Parish photo directory, and Barabás comment was “how smiling and optimistic” the people appeared in the photos. Abásfalva is a small village located in the Homoród Valley, in the foothills of the Carpathian Mountains of central Romania, about 50 miles northwest of the town of Brassó. The village has a population of about 300 people. Although the population has been traditionally Hungarian Unitarian, in the

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past forty years Roma (Gypsy) families were encouraged to settle there as well, under a government policy to diversify the populations of Hungarian Unitarian villages. The Roma came to the villages primarily to work as farm hands and as construction laborers. The Abásfalva village economy is primarily agrarian, and livestock, grain, potatoes, fruits and vegetables and vineyards are mainstays of the local economy. Despite a desirable climate and soil for agriculture, large tracts of land lie fallow, as ownership of the land is still being sorted out after Soviet occupation and the Romanian dictatorship of Nicolae Ceausescu (1965–1989). In the village of Abásfalva, most homes have running water (usually a single tap in each house) which is heated by a wood-burning hot water tank. Few homes have indoor toilets, washing machines, or telephones, though most have electricity and televisions. The village is primarily Hungarian Unitarian and Roma (Gypsy) with a few Jehovah’s Witnesses families. There are two primitive and poorly equipped schools (kindergarten through fourth grade and fifth grade to eighth grade) which serve all groups. Mail service is irregular, and mail is routinely opened—a holdover from the Ceausescu era, when Hungarian Unitarians were viewed with suspicion and often harassed by government offi- cials. Remnants of pre-World War I feudal village life, when the area was part of the Austro–Hungarian empire, still remain. One of these is the daily call of the village shepherd with his horn, the signal to let people to know that they can release their livestock (primarily cows, horses and goats) for the group journey up into the hilly pastureland. In addition to the Unitarian church, which was built in the 1880’s, the village has a cultural center that can hold 260 people (including standing room). According to the U.S. CIA World Fact Book, 50% of the Romanian highways are unpaved, and the roads to and from Abásfalva are in disrepair. Driving speed is between five and ten miles an hour, and both the few paved and many unpaved roads surrounding the village are full of potholes. The Romanian government has chosen to promote a policy that provides funds for the restoration and building of Eastern Orthodox churches, and has not given the same support to the Hungarian Unitarian churches, which are often in poor repair. Few churches have heating systems. Romania has a temperate climate, with snow and fog in the winter months, hot summers, and rainy periods in the fall and spring.

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Contact Between the Congregations If there is any common characteristic among the members of the First Parish congregation who have chosen to visit Abásfalva, whether for a single one- time visit or for multiple trips (which a number of the First Parish Partner Church Committee members have made), it is that each individual’s decision to make the pilgrimage to Abásfalva is unique. However, the collective sense of the First Parish Partner Church Committee (FPPCC) members is that these trips have served to strengthen congregational relationships through the experience of exploring a new country and culture (Romania), developing new relationships in Abásfalva, and even sharing travel-related illnesses. For First Parish member Richard Daugherty, traveling to Transylvania as Chair of the Parish Committee on the initial trip in 1994 was an opportunity “to do outreach outside of Bedford” and an extension of his earlier business travel to Eastern Europe. For Sarah Dorer, who also joined the initial trip and is currently the FPPCC Chair, the decision to make the trip literally changed the direction of her life. Sarah clearly remembers making the decision (which she had three hours to make) after receiving a telephone call inviting her to join the group, which included a youth delegation from the church. Having just turned 40, she was a pre-school teacher with two young children at home and felt that she “was ready for an adventure.” For John Gibbons making the first trip meant an opportunity to deepen his commitment to his parish ministry at First Parish by engaging his congregation in an experience as a community outside the town of Bedford. He felt this opportunity was important because “Unitarian Universalists are self- involved, and we [tend] to inhabit a cocooned world, particularly in the sub- urbs.” Many are “people of means and privilege,” and it is important that we become aware of people “other than ourselves.” The prospect of connecting with the partner church in Abásfalva simultaneously allowed an opportunity for the First Parish congregation to learn more about itself. There are no dissimilarities among the first visitors in their description of the “overwhelmingly emotional” experience of arriving in Abásfalva. After the long and slow drive from Kolozsvár to Abásfalva, they were greeted on arrival by the men on horseback and the women in carts, dressed in their traditional embroidered costumes. A young woman read a proclamation in English that stated “they had awaited our coming as others had awaited the Star of

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Bethlehem.” The First Parish group was then swept into the village for an opening ceremony at the church, separated into households with host families that did not speak English, so communication was pantomime and drawing stick figures, and on to three to four days of non-stop activities. In 2001, seven years later, and while plans were being made for the fourth First Parish group trip to Abásfalva, Sharon McDonald, recalls making the decision to join the trip after being invited by Gergely Miklós, a village leader from Abásfalva, who invited her to come to the village “with nothing but a camera” and the promise that the village would look after her. Sharon McDonald met Gergely Miklós after being asked to show him “the Bedford Flag” at the Bedford Public Library (where she is a librarian), when he visited Bedford as part of the Partner Church exchange. Since the initial trip in 1994, John Gibbons has made yearly visits to Abásfalva. The FPCC organizes group trips to Abásfalva every other year. The committee estimates that over seventy people have made the trip since the partnership’s inception, and many parishioners have visited Abásfalva several times. The trips have included both parishioners and church staff—including the Parish Administrator, Joan Petros. Since 1994, the minister of Abásfalva, Reverend Áron Barabás and his wife Edit and their children Áron and Boglárka have come to visit Bedford once as a family. Edit has returned two times with other villagers, including one of the Abásfalva teachers, Icuka Benzce, and village leaders. The Barabás’ son Áron was invited by the Daugherty family to attend high school in Bedford, (for one semester, to pick up idiomatic English) and he eventually continued to college in nearby Lowell. Áron met his wife, Jasmine, during his stay in Bedford; they were married in August 2005 and currently live in Bedford. Visits between First Parish and Abásfalva are the mainstay of contact between the two partners. There is currently no Internet or fax access in the village—although there is now Internet access in the neighboring village— and mail delivery is erratic. Romania is a country with 4.3 million fixed telephone lines, 6.9 million cell telephones and 4 million Internet users (U.S. CIA)—as in the case of many developing countries its technology has “leap- frogged” over the installation of fixed-telephone lines, and people are going from no telephones to cell telephones and/or Internet access. First Parish members who want to send packages and/or gifts to Abásfalva try to send them with First Parish visitors making the trip to Abásfalva. They do this

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because is because gifts sent by mail to Romania are assessed costly “custom duties,” regardless of the value of the materials being shipped. One example of this was a one-hundred-dollar (U.S.) duty for a box of mittens which was sent from Bedford. As a result, the Bedford congregation’s trips to Abásfalva are of great importance to keeping the partnership going.

Translation The first correspondence between John Gibbons and Áron Barabás was translated by Ivan Kristoffy, a Hungarian from neighboring Concord. Sarah Dorer describes her first visit to Abásfalva as almost comical: “none of us had any idea about how difficult it was going to be. They separated us into groups that would stay with individual host families and we went off to the other side of the village.” Her hosts did not understand a word that she said, and offered her “fire-water brandy” and brought her an English/Hungarian dictionary that only had the letters A–F. With this help, she was able to say “I drank cherry brandy.” Although the trips to Abásfalva have included three local translators (who were compensated for their work on a per diem basis), most First Parish members rely heavily on sign language and dictionaries to communicate with their partner church hosts. John Gibbons, Sharon McDonald and Charles Cole (another First Parish member) have taken the time to learn some Hungarian; but it is a complicated non-Romance based language and learning it requires patience. Early on in the partnership, First Parish put out a sign in Hungarian, welcoming visitors from Abásfalva. To their surprise, a local Hungarian family from Bedford showed up at the church in response to the welcome, and went on to become members of the church. First Parish also has reached out to the Hungarian Society of Boston for translators and as a cultural resource. The language barrier still exists, despite both partners’ hard work and multi- pronged efforts to bridge the gap. Sarah Dorer reflects that “it is still frustrat- ing that our relationships tend to be with English speakers [from Abásfalva].” She reflects that “I still haven’t had long conversations. Someone [a translator] needs to be with me so I can have a conversation” with non-English speaking people in the village. She is happy at the prospect that the “young people [in the village] are learning English.” Another partnership language resource is

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Áron Barabás, the minister’s son, now living in Bedford, who also assists with translation.

The AbásfalvaÃFirst Parish Partnership and the First Parish Organizational Structure The First Parish Partner Church Committee is a freestanding committee within the congregational governance, which gives it a certain amount of promi- nence. In 2005, the church certified its membership at 326 members. The committee has a line item in the church budget, sends an allotment to Abásfalva to supplement the minister’s salary and raises most of its approximately five- thousand-dollar annual budget for projects such as scholarships, outside the First Parish budget. The FPCC estimates that it has raised approximately twenty thousand dollars for the partnership over the period from 1993 to 2005. On the FPCCC activity levels, Sarah Dorer reflects that “some years we are more active than others” and one of the challenges has been to not be seen as a “little clique” but to reach out to include new people from the congregation. The committee’s goal is to meet as a group every six weeks. In addition to the bi- annual visits, the FPCC organizes large yard sales, Hungarian dinners and concerts, and teaches about the partner church relationship in Sunday School. The committee’s fundraising supports a high school-and-beyond scholarship program open to all students (Hungarian and Roma) in Abásfalva, at the level of $1,600 a year (individual scholarships range between $150 to $300 a year). In the past, the FPCCC has raised funds and purchased a combine harvester for the village and most recently helped raise funds for a tri-party funded village water system. First Parish also has raised funds through its Christmas Eve Service collections and most recently contributed to a 2005 disaster aid fund after flash floods hit the Transylvanian region. The partner church relationship has been thoroughly integrated into First Parish life. An Abásfalva—Hungarian tapestry made by the minister’s wife, Edit Barabás, decorates the walls of the sanctuary, and as Sharon McDonald notes “there is love in every stitch.” Throughout the church are other examples of affection from Abásfalva and between the partners: over two hundred embroidered hymnal covers, wall tapestries, pillows on benches, photograph albums, and most strikingly the six-foot-plus kopjafak or Hungarian Unitarian grave markers (a man and a woman) that were a gift from Abásfalva and are

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installed in the First Parish Memorial Garden. These carved wooden structures are similar to the Pacific Northwest Coast Native American Totems and have intricate carvings that symbolically tell the story of life in Bedford. The Hungarian wood carvers’ guild in Abásfalva requested detailed information about the Bedford community before creating these gifts.

The First Parish Scholarship Program As mentioned previously, the FPCCC sets aside approximately $1,600 a year for scholarships for students in Abásfalva wishing to continue their high school studies (they must board outside of the village) or continue on to trade school and/or university. First Parish believes that it is integral to their UU principles to offer these scholarships to all students who wish to continue their studies in the village, including the Roma population which has continued to settle in the village. The scholarships range from $150 to $300 dollars, depending on the student’s expenses. This inclusive educational policy has caused a little conster- nation among the Abásfalva Hungarian Unitarians, as a number of them share the general European stereotype that the Roma are not interested in education and thus this is money that is being wasted.

The Partnership Decision-Making Process As with many non-governmental programs, the Unitarian Universalist Partner Church Council’s partner church program has experienced what is commonly known as a “learning curve” on each of its new projects and partners—the crucial steps in which the partners learn about each other and how to work together. For the Abásfalva—First Parish Bedford partnership, the symbol of the curve was Bedford’s purchase of a combine harvester for the village. Early in the partnership (1994–1996), the Abásfalva partners came to First Parish with a plan to increase agricultural productivity, and requested $5,000 to buy a used Soviet-made combine harvester, which was a rarity in the Transylvanian region and which the villagers believed would allow them to get in their har- vest more efficiently. With equally good intentions and much enthusiasm, the First Parish parishioners dug into their pockets and organized fund raisers to purchase the imposing machine. According to First Parish member Rich Daugherty, who hails from Indiana and knows a bit about farm machinery, the

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combine harvester turned out to be junk, and too big for the fields. For a while, it sat in the village like a broken-down tank, and finally was sold. Fortunately, this first experience gave both partners the opportunity to reflect on how they might work more effectively together as they face the challenge of helping Abásfalva address issues of economic viability. One of the Abásfalva church’s key problems is that the number of funerals out-number the christenings (a Romanian national problem). Abásfalva is part of an agrarian economy that once was the “bread basket of Europe” according to the US Agency for International Development (AID), but now only produces 12% of Romania’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP). This decline forces villagers, and particularly students leaving school, to look for economic security elsewhere. In part, this has been a by-product of the current government’s land re-distri- bution policy which benefits some and hurts others, and which few people seem to understand. Some people are able to work outside the village while continuing to live there. For example, Edit Barabás, the minister’s wife, teaches school in a neighboring village, and walks three miles a day each way. The village school teacher’s husband Ali Bencze is a general worker (doorman, bell hop, etc.) at a hotel in a neighboring village while continuing to farm in Abásfalva. Many of the villagers must leave the village to find work, often obtaining seasonal migrant farm work in other European countries. For example, Romanians supply much of the labor for the United Kingdom’s largest strawberry producers. In Hereford, England, over 2,000 migrant workers, a large percentage from Romania, work on a large “industrial farms,” tending 100 acres of plastic covered “strawberry tunnels” and living in caravans on the farm (BBC May 2004). The United Kingdom Home Office implemented restrictions in 2004 to reduce the numbers of Bulgarian and Romanian workers by between 25 to 35% (depending on job type), and this may dampen employment opportunities in this area. In 2001, The Abásfalva—First Parish partnership, influenced by the combine harvester experience, and concerned about the economic conditions in the village, decided to formalize the decision-making process in order to make it consensus based, and thus the Abásfalva Foundation was created. Sitting on the Abásfalva Board are the Head of the Abásfalva Landowners’ Association; János László, a Romanian entrepreneur who has an auto parts business and family ties to the village; Reverend Áron Barabás

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of the Abásfalva church, and Reverend John Gibbons, of First Parish. It is important to note that the legal papers establishing the Abásfalva Foundation were signed before they were reviewed by the First Parish Bedford Congregation and there was concern about what First Parish had been committed to. FPCC Chair Sarah Dorer reflects that in hindsight, this arrangement should have been cleared first with the congregational governance. Fortunately, the situation was rectified when the First Parish Bedford congregation was able to vote as a congregation on the terms of financial support for the Abásfalva Foundation.

Once the consensus model for decision-making was put into place, every member of the board had a say as to what they felt were the most pressing economic issues affecting the village.

The major accomplishment of the Abásfalva Foundation has been the funding of a new town water supply for Abásfalva. Once the consensus model for decision-making was put into place, every member of the board had a say as to what they felt were the most pressing economic issues affecting the village. Everyone said “water,” and the Abásfalva Foundation decided to install a water conduit system for the village. This was an achievable goal as there was a relatively clean water supply in the nearby mountainside and János László knew contractors and surveyors who would do the work on the project. According to FPPC Chair Sarah Dorer, ‘this was a huge, huge project” and the total project costs are estimated to be in the vicinity of $18,000. The Abásfalva Landowners’ Association contributed $3,000, and First Parish contributed $9,000 toward project costs (partially by selling off “feet” of water pipe to the congregation). Determined not to have to raise all the money themselves, the foundation decided to seek governmental assistance, and for the first time in the village’s history the county stepped in and contributed $3,500. János László, the town’s benefactor and Abásfalva Foundation board member, in addition to contributing to the pre-project surveying and contracting costs made up the $5,500 difference.

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The Abásfalva Foundation water system (retention pump) project was built in 2004, using primarily local Roma (Gypsy) labor paid for by the project as well as some volunteer help from the other villagers. FPPCC members Sarah Dorer, Rich Daugherty and John Gibbons visited Abásfalva in the summer of 2004, and helped fill in the ditches where the pipes had been laid.

The Benefits of the Abásfalva Partnership for First Parish John Gibbon’s vision that the First Parish congregation would have the opportunity to learn about themselves as Americans, while becoming engaged with others outside their community, has been realized. He would be quick to admit that he did not have the first idea as to what this would entail when they began. The Kopjafa in the Memorial Garden, the two hundred embroidered hymnal covers, the embroidered tapestry on the walls, Partner Church Sunday and the First Parish Hungarian dinners are all symbols of this vision being realized. However, decorations can be purchased and dinners can have ethnic themes— these symbols represent how, on a deeper level church life at First Parish Bedford has changed through the partnership. A New England church in a small historic American town has slowly changed its view of itself in the world, and its involvement in the partnership has redefined what the church consid- ers its community and family. FPPC Chair Sarah Dorer poignantly reflected that “lives have been changed because of the relationships,” and that “three hundred friendships began to blossom” in 1994. She recently received an email from the young woman who had read the proclamation on the arrival of the First Parish group, in which she announced she had given birth to another baby. Between the initial First Parish visit in 1994 and the news of her second child, this girl and her sister had come to live with Sarah for two weeks while visiting Bedford with her uncle, János László. Sarah, who herself had been looking for an adventure before deciding to go on the initial trip, believes that her participation in the Abásfalva—First Parish partnership has given her the confidence to travel — China most recently—through her work as a teacher of gifted and talented children in the Bedford public schools. She finds that she “is now comfortable going to other places.” She also says her experience encouraged her to “look outside myself as an American.” She reflects on the simple conditions in

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Abásfalva, and questions the value of “having 150 different types of cereals” in the local supermarket in Bedford. For Rich Daugherty, First Parish and Abásfalva have become an intertwined, mutually caring community and he believes that the entire First Parish congregation has changed significantly as a result of the partnership. He feels that the church community has realized how lucky we are [as Americans] and has had to come to terms with guilt over consumption and our standard of living. On a more personal level, he and his wife have supported young Áron Barabás through high school and college. Áron is now truly family, and beginning a career and married life in Massachusetts. He is one of the many youth in the village for whom there was little economic opportunity, and much less for someone who wanted to become an engineer. For Sharon McDonald, the partnership has meant deep friendships, particularly with the Bencze Family and her dear friend Icuka, one of the Abásfalva school teachers. Sharon is the first to admit that the village is going through difficult economic times, and that platitudes have no place in this situation. As much as she would like to say “it will be happier ever after, we do not know what will happen in five years.” She does feel that she can say of her partner-church acquaintances, “you are my brother and you are my sister.” Her life has irretrievably been changed by the depth of the hospitality and friendship she has experienced on her three trips to Abásfalva—by her hosts, the Benczes sleeping in the house next door in order that she can have their bed, by Edit Barabás coming up to her with a sweater and putting it silently on her shoulders on a chill summer’s evening and by the generosity of the village “honey lady.” Sharon’s knowledge of Hungarian has made it possible for her to sit with the “old ladies in black kerchiefs,” such as Anna and Réka. On her last visit in the summer of 2004, the village “honey lady” invited Sharon to visit her home and showed her photos of her late husband, who had died ten years earlier, and of her son, who was killed by a falling tree. She then offered Sharon honey that her late husband had gathered. Sharon hesitated and said, “something so precious,” and when it was clear that the women would not allow Sharon to refuse—Sharon took a small dab to put on her slice of bread. The “honey lady” would have no part of this, and in spite of the fact that this was all the honey she had left from her late husband, she insisted on

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spreading a huge gob on Sharon’s bread. Sadly, Sharon learned in 2005 that the “honey lady” had died, but she also learned from her an invaluable les- son about generosity—the woman’s honey had lasted long enough, even after sharing it others.

Ways in Which the Unitarian Church of Abásfalva has Benefited from the Partnership A sheet hung in the church with the handprints and names of its First Parish partners is more than just a symbol of helping hands—it reflects a friendship that has grown for over twelve years and a commitment, as one First Parish member put it, to be a life line to the village. According to the First Parish members, there is now more smiling in Abásfalva and villagers are a bit more optimistic, despite their worries about the economic viability of the community. As First Parish has reached outside itself, the Abásfalva partners also have realized that they, too, are part of a larger world. As Rich Daugherty reflected, they have never ceased to be amazed about our arrival ten years ago and “by why in the hell we would care about them.” He goes on to say that “the partnership has been infectious.” He is pleased with First Parish’s work with the United States State Department to facilitate visas, and the 150 to 200 people that he has been able to help visit the United States from Transylvania. He notes that all Transylvanians with U.S. visas have gone back. He is concerned about the current State Department prejudice that “every Romanian” is a terrorist and hopes that this sentiment is just a passing phase. In addition to visas, a sanitary water supply, a supplement to the Minister’s salary and more optimism, Abásfalva has benefited from the partnership in many other ways. Perhaps the most significant area has been in the provision of scholarships to the students in the village. Education has been a proverbial double-edged sword for the community—for along with the opportunity for education (high school, technical school and university), it has brought with it increased migration to urban areas, in the search for economic opportunity. Or, as Sarah Dorer put it aptly, “the price of education is that kids are coming and going.” Áron Barabás, the Abásfalva Minister, has mentioned to John Gibbons that although under Ceausescu there was little

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hope and economic conditions were difficult, there was less uncertainty than under today’s mercurial economic policies. For example, the value of the Romanian Lei has dropped and the price of bread has increased. Under the dictatorship, there was little opportunity to speak of, but there were also not the dilemmas of where to live and work. One of the other benefits of the partnership to Abásfalva, according to First Parish members, is that the Abásfalva partners have learned that working together and helping each other out can be a positive experience. Sharon McDonald notes that, in Transylvania, “working together [on a project] had been associated with communism” and communist propaganda. She reflects how the villagers thought it strange that their visitors were working on their vacation, and how the First Parish members tried “to consciously model working together” as a positive, when they went up to the village cemetery to pull weeds and cut the grass around the graves. Other partner projects that have benefited Abásfalva include painting and structural repairs to the church and the parsonage, including a new roof for the church. In addition to the new water system, First Parish has helped install a water pipeline to the school. First Parish members have brought educational supplies for the school, as well as medicines, medical equipment and eyeglass- es for their partners. Both congregations are planning a sleepover summer camp for the summer of 2006. Finally, the Abásfalva partners who have been able to come to Bedford, (the village has decided who will have this opportunity when a First Parish invitation is given) also have enjoyed visits to areas of interest in Massachusetts, such as historical sites, amusement parks such as Canobie Lake (New Hampshire), and visits to the mundane things that most Americans take for granted such as the grocery store. Icuka Benzce walked up and down the aisles of a Bedford grocery store. She and her host, Sharon McDonald would sing together when they did not know what to say. One of Icuka’s favorite songs is “Take Me Home, Country Road” in Hungarian. Her openness and lack of judgment toward American life moved the McDonald family. Only once, when Sharon said, “it was not fair” [referring to the dis- crepancy between Transylvanian and American consumption] did Icuka reply “no, it is not.”

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Conclusion Despite the partnership’s success, the members of First Parish are clear that challenges will lie ahead for the Abásfalva—First Parish Partnership. The principal challenge is the village’s economic viability and aging population. Migration of the village youth as they seek educational and economic opportunities will continue to be a challenge, for as John Gibbons reflected “the current message is, if you want a future you better get out of here.” Communication, i.e., the lack of contact with the village through fixed-line or cell telephone calls, the Internet or even a reliable mail system also will continue to be something to surmount—whether it is between Abásfalva youth and their families, partner congregations on two continents or entrepreneurial people in the village. Both congregations appear committed to continue to work through their differences about the Abásfalva Roma population, and to resolving whether the Abásfalva congregation is committed to having this group benefit directly from the partnership. First Parish has asked that the Roma students be consid- ered for the scholarship program and has taken the first step by including the group in some of their activities—such as bus tours. Despite the success of the partnership, the First Parish congregation has questions as well. John Gibbons had hoped, as part of that visioning exercise in June 1993, that by taking the chance and going to Transylvania, the First Parish congregation would learn about itself in the process of reaching out to others. This has happened in some unexpected ways. The Abásfalva congregation has questioned its First Parish friends about black people in the U.S., and they are very interested in Native American culture. This curiosity is in part a legacy of the Soviet-style educational system, which taught that the U.S. insti- tutionalized racism, as part of their effort to debunk capitalism. The history of the Roma in Romania, and the history of African Americans and Native Americans in the United States continue to provide opportunity for dialogue and growth. John Gibbons and Sharon McDonald both reflected that one of the stereotypes about Hungarian culture is that it is dark, pessimistic, and has a “can’t do mentality”, traits and attitudes engendered by losing wars and even losing a national identity (and boundaries) as a result of the Trianon Accord and the division of Transylvania from Hungary after World War I. However,

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upon observation, there is little Hungarian pessimism about the potential for taking care of each other or for love within the community—in this area they are not afraid of risks—witness the proclamation “we await your arrival as others had awaited the Star of Bethlehem” when the two congregational partners met. The “can do” spirit symbolized by the Bedford flag, and First Parish’s courage to take risks has been met with the Abásfalva congregational commitment to community, and has produced a synergy that is greater than each individual congregation. Both their worlds have become larger, and as Sharon McDonald reflected, they both watch the night sky and know that they share the same constellations.

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A Brief History of the Unitarian Universalist Partner Church Council

o handbook would be complete without a recounting of our begin- N nings. The Reverend C. Leon Hopper, founding member and first President of the UU Partner Church Council, made a presentation in 1998 about the early history of partnerships and the beginnings of the UUPCC. It is quoted here in major parts. The full text can be found on the website www.uupcc.org.

Excerpts from the 1998 presentation by Rev. Hopper are presented in italics: To piece together some of our partner church history I took time to look at past reports and chanced to come across some old AUA (American Unitarian Association) Annual Reports and Directories. I found, among other items, this “Report on Transylvania” included in the 1929–30 Directory. “One hundred and twelve American Unitarian churches have adopted a like number of Transylvanian churches since the adoption plan was arranged through Dr. Gabriel Csiki in 1921.” In 1921, it was thought that three years would bring about better conditions in the Old World churches (after World War I). These church partnerships were meant to last a mere three years. But, the “Report on Transylvania” continues, “The assistance, however, continues to be needed, and it is anticipated that it will be for some time to come. The adoption plan has given not only material help but moral encouragement, which is out of all proportion to the financial aid received.” Shortly after these words were written the stock market crashed. A worldwide depression engulfed society. Under these difficult economic circumstances, partner (Sister) church connections languished. For many congregations, the memories of these early partnerships were further erased by the horrors of World War II. “The seeds for today’s partner church activity were planted more than seventy years ago.” Though dormant, they were nurtured by memory and hope in Eastern European soil—especially in Transylvania—despite war, repression and communism In the late 1980’s North American Unitarian Universalists become increasingly aware of the plight of our Transylvanian sisters and brothers. Dr. Judit (Zizi) Gellérd brought to our denominational attention impending threats for the destruction of the vil-

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lages and thus of the Unitarian church. It must be acknowledged that we would not be here today working as we are, if it had not been for the commitment, vision, magnetism, persistence and energy of Zizi! She said, “Leon, the Unitarian ministers in Transylvania are in terrible financial condition. Is there some way you could help?” Her question inspired the 1988 UUA General Assembly to pass a resolution calling this impending catastrophe to our denominational attention. UUA President Bill Schulz and Moderator Natalie Gulbrandsen initiated a trip to Romania to investigate conditions of Unitarian churches in Romania and protest the scheduled elimination of countless villages. The team was denied visas several times until after Ceausescu’s fall in January 1990. When they arrived, Bill and Natalie asked Bishop Lajos Kovács “What can we do to help you?” and the quick response was “re- initiate sister church relationships.” When they returned home, Natalie and Bill invited all UUA congregations to apply to be a sister church. There was an immediate response. It is important to note that—as in 1921—the re-establishment of partner church relationships between North America and Transylvania was in response to immediate political and economic crises in Transylvania. There followed a flurry of activity. This is a sketch of my personal experiences during this hectic time. My sense is that the UUA was surprised, not that churches would be interested in being “sister churches,” but at the emotional quality and number of responses. No one was prepared for the flood of resources, both financial and personal, which was to follow. Involvement with caring was expected, yes, but dollars no. It was like spontaneous combustion. In the months and years after the initial partnering there was an explosion of activity. Personal connections were forged between UUA churches and individuals and Transylvanian churches. There were a remarkable number of visits to Transylvania, which quickly resulted in deepened involvement and personal commitments. By mid-1993, the activity of the partner church connections was both complex and time consuming. The UUA recognized that a distinct organization was needed to sustain the partner church program. We needed a relational vessel to hold and sustain our partner church work. We needed a group whose organization and structure could sustain this important work and allow it to flourish. The Partner Church Council was officially established at the 1993 General Assembly in Charlotte, North Carolina. In my first statement as President of the UU Partner Church Council I wrote: “It is clear to me that this is the time (1993) to carefully develop an organization for mutual support of one another, with exchange of ideas and information to insure that

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our individual efforts are strengthened and effective. Our (the North American UUA churches) initial response for support was charged with emotion and a bit of nostalgia. It is now important for us to be grounded in recognition of the profound integrity and courage of our partner colleagues. We need to remember that we are engaged in a partner relationship. Healthy partnerships exact a practice of both giving and receiving.” The Mission of the Partner Church Council? Initially it was simple and direct: make and support partner church connections. But there is as much meaning and activity between the spaces of the written lines of our purposes as in the lines themselves. We are moving past, well past, the first steps of engagement, beyond polite interchanges. For relationships to grow they need to be nurtured, cultivated, tended, cherished. These more significant relationships require us to understand each other at deeper and deeper levels. This is what being a partner, and what being in a partner church connection, must become. Like the three-year plan of 1921, the work we are doing now is more difficult and more long-term than what we originally thought. The Partner Church Council program is now committed for the “long haul.”

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UUPCC PartnershipsÃYesterday and Today

ing’s Chapel, Boston, Massachusetts and First Unitarian Church, KBerkeley, California sustained their partnerships from 1920 to today. Forty of the congregations with sister churches in the 1920s are now again part of active partnerships.

Currently the Partner Church Council supports nearly 200 partnerships in Transylvania, Poland, the Czech Republic, Hungary, India, and The Philippines. Partnership opportunities are still available.

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Index

Act of Religious Tolerance and Freedom . . . .x East Shore Unitarian Church, Bellevue— Assessment, How Can Two Partnered Torockószentgyörgy, Transylvania ...... 62 Churches Organize an? ...... 45 Contact Between Congregations Be Patient ...... 35 Translation The Partnership and the East Shore Becoming a Partner Church—Building the Organizational Structure Foundation [SECTION TWO] ...... 13 The ESPCC—Torockószentgyörgy Building the Foundation of Partnership . . . . .4 Scholarship Program Co-Creating a Sustainable Partnership ...... 34 The East Shore Financial Investment The Torockószentgyörgy Investment Communication Models ...... 21 The Decision Making Process Used to Writing Campaigns Determine How the Funds are Spent Start a List-Serve The Benefits of the Partnership for the East Web Site Shore Unitarian Congregation Phoning The Benefits of the Partnership for the Internet Services Unitarian Church of Torockószentgyörgy Phone/Internet Services Conclusion Communications Strategy, A ...... 26 First Parish in Bedford Unitarian Universalist— Communications Strategy to Maintain the Unitarian Church of Abásfalva, Connection, Designing a ...... 21 Translyvania ...... 86 Contact Between the Congregations Community Capacity Building—Empowering Communities for Action ...... 44 Translation The Abásfalva—First Parish Partnership and Community Capacity Building Program, the First Parish Organizational Structure What is theGoal for the? ...... 44 The First Parish Scholarship Program (Communicty Capacity Building), The Partnership Decision-Making Process Program Elements ...... 45 The Benefits of the Abásfalva Partnership Covenants—Making Promises to for First Parish Each Other ...... 30 Ways in Which the Unitarian Church of Abásfalva has Benefited from the Covenants, Sample ...... 32 Partnership Creating a Presence in Your Church ...... 28 Conclusion Creating a Sustainable Partnership First Unitarian of Honolulu—Caiman, [SECTION THREE] ...... 6 Philippines ...... 49 Creating a Sustainable Partnership ...... 19 First Unitarian of Toronto, Canada—Budapest Creating World Community II, Hungary [SECTION FOUR] ...... 43 First Unitarian Society, Denver—Kövend, Designing a Communications Strategy to Transylvania ...... 47 Maintain the Connection ...... 21 Goal for the Community Capacity Building Developing a Partnership Plan ...... 34 Program, What is the? ...... 44 Guidelines for Church Partnerships [SECTION ONE] ...... 1

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INDEX

History of the Unitarian Universalist Partner Unitarian Universalist Partner Church Church Council, A Brief ...... 105 Council, A Brief History of the ...... 105 How Can Two Partnered Churches Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Organize an Assessment? ...... 45 Fairfax—Unitarian Church Puriang, Keeping the Partnership Alive in East Khasi Hills, India ...... 54 Your Church ...... 40 The Indian State of Meghalaya and Puriang Language BarrierOvercoming the ...... 24 The Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Fairfax Maintaining a Healthy Partnership ...... 10 Translation Maintain the Connection ...... 21 The Partnership and the Fairfax Other Stories About Partnerships ...... 46 Organizational Structure The Benefits of the Puriang Partnership for the Overcoming the Language Barrier ...... 24 Fairfax Congregation Partnership, Building the Foundation of . . . . .4 Ways in Which the Unitarian Church of Puriang Partnership, Co-Creating a Sustainable . . . . .34 has Benefited from the Partnership Conclusion Partnership, Maintaining a Healthy ...... 10 Resources Partnership Plan, Developing a ...... 34 Unitarian Universalist Church of Fairfax— Partnerships, Other Stories About ...... 46 Unitarian Church of Szentgerice, Partnerships, UUPCC Guidelines for Transylvania ...... 73 Church ...... 2 Contact Between the Congregations Program Elements Translation (of Community Capacity Building) ...... 45 The Partnership and the UUCF Organizational Structure Sample Covenants ...... 32 The UUCF Scholarship Program Second Unitarian Church of Chicago— The UUCF Financial Investment Kénos, Transylvania ...... 51 The Szentgerice Investment Share Your Vision ...... 36 The Benefits of the Szentgerice and UUCF Partnership for UUCF Start-up Steps to Partnership ...... 14 Ways in Which the Unitarian Church of Stories About Partnerships, Other ...... 46 Szentgerice has Benefited from the Theological Foundations of Partnership . . . .ix Partnership Conclusion Travel ...... 38 Value of Travel, The ...... x Travel, The Value of ...... x Visiting with a Large Group ...... 35 UUPCC, About the ...... xi What is the Goal for the Community UUPCC Guidelines for Church Capacity Building Program? ...... 44 Partnerships ...... 2 UUPCC Partnerships—Yesterday and Today ...... 105

www.uupcc.org 107 Handbook4.qxp 6/18/2006 9:50 AM Page 108

INTERNATIONAL PARTNERSHIP HANDBOOK

108 JUNE 2006