The Alzheimer's Podcast
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The Alzheimer’s Podcast Episode 137: What’s the Value of a Human Life? Christy Turner: As somebody who advocates for people living with dementia and their families—I or anybody else in that position should never have to make an argument about why people living with dementia are valuable enough to save. Phil: Right. Christy: No advocate of any kind should be in a position where they have to talk about why the population, or the segment of the population, that they are advocating for is valuable enough. When we get sucked into that, I feel like we're losing. And it's also speaking a lot to the people who control things like essential supplies and funding and all of that kind of stuff. Because the fact that we are talking about a fellow human being ought to be enough. Full-stop. Phil Gutis: Right. Christy: You're listening to The Alzheimer's Podcast with Christy Turner of Dementia Sherpa, where we're all about bringing the Good Stuff --that's respect, kindness, love, empathy, and compassion--for people living with dementia, their families, and the professionals who support them. I'm Christy Turner, AKA The Dementia Sherpa. I've enjoyed the privilege of working with over 1,500 people living with dementia and their families so far, including multiple experiences in my own family. In the course of my career, I've transformed from total train wreck on my first day as a professional to local go-to expert, speaker, trainer, and consultant. And if I can go from scared spitless to confident care partner, I promise you can, too. This episode was recorded April 20th, 2020, and I’ve struggled with it ever since. The Alzheimer’s Podcast typically tries to bring you actionable information so that you can make life better for your person and yourself. We might introduce you to a new book or product. Maybe a way of thinking about an aspect of dementia care partnering that will improve quality of life. Often, it’s insight from Phil Gutis, our Assistant Sherpa who’s living with a diagnosis of young onset Alzheimer’s disease. But this episode? It does none of that. Instead, it’s me and Phil having a conversation in which we’re pissed. We definitely talk about dementia and long-term care and Covid-19, but we don’t stop there. We also talk about politics. I understand that’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s why I hesitated to put this out into the world. I didn’t want to offend anyone. I told myself I needed to stay in my own lane and only talk about dementia-related topics. The Alzheimer’s Podcast, Episode 136: What’s the Value of a Human Life? 1 And then I listened to the recording one more time. And that’s when I heard the through line. What I’d originally mistaken as an angry, scattershot episode with a side helping of politics is actually an attempt to answer the question, “What’s the value of a human life?” You probably already know I advise care partners to “always bring The Good Stuff.” You already know my core values are respect, kindness, love, empathy, and compassion. So really, you already know where I stand politically. To those who are offended by this episode, all I can say is go in peace. This isn’t your tribe. Phil: I just got back from my four and a half mile walk. Three days in a row now. Christy: Are you taking dogs with you? Phil: Charley has come for the last two, yes. The other ones are too old for four and a half miles. Christy: Right. Phil: So, yeah, no, it was, it's good. I'm walking with my friend Gail. Christy: And are you staying six feet apart on your walk? Phil: Yeah, pretty much. Christy: Playing fast and loose. Phil: We've been hanging out ever since—I almost consider her family at this point. We've been hanging together since the beginning of the Covids. Christy: So, yeah, kind of playing fast and loose. Phil: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we've talked about this before, but after a certain point, you know, it's just like you take your precautions, you take your precautions, you wear your masks, you know, you do all this stuff, and then if it's going to happen, it's going to. Christy: So, you're feeling rather fatalistic. Phil: Well, yeah, I guess that's what I am. But, you know, I see people like running with masks on. And I think to myself, that's not good for you. That's really not good for you. Or the people sitting in their cars wearing masks? I just—like, I don't know. I don't know. Christy: So, you’re mask-shaming now. Phil: I wear my mask when I go out. I've been wearing, you know, before the government, before the state ordered us, which actually started last night [April 19, 2020]. You have to wear a mask if you're going into a grocery store or anything like that. But, I've been wearing my mask pretty consistently now. But, yeah, I just—there's gotta be a balance, you know? You can't—it's just like with Alzheimer's, you know: you gotta have a balance, right? The Alzheimer’s Podcast, Episode 136: What’s the Value of a Human Life? 2 You can't live in absolute fear of everything. And have you seen that—I’ll have to send it to you, if I can find it. It's a meme and this guy is like, you know, brushing his tongue, you know, washing his hands, and he goes outside and he's got the mask and the bunny suit and the gloves, and he marches out confidently and gets run over by a truck. Christy: That's kind of how I think about running. Because you run every day and run marathons and still get hit by a bus. And that is the thing. I mean, no matter what you do, you can be hit by a bus. But we're looking at risk management, right? So, yeah, I am all about— Phil: Risk management, right? Christy: Yeah, exactly. Phil: So, you’re managing the risk, but you can’t avoid the risk completely. Christy: No, but you can do a lot to mitigate your risk, and I think that wearing a mask is completely reasonable. Phil: Yes. I agree. Christy: I also am one of those people who thinks staying inside is completely reasonable, or [rather] staying at home. You know, we go out into our backyard with our dogs. I think I'm one of those people, though, that kind of generally has low social needs because it really hasn't, I don't feel like it's bothered me a ton. And you and I have talked about this, where lifestyle-wise, there hasn't been a massive change for either one of us. I think more for you because you were going to your rowing classes all the time, and then had started in the running club. And I do not go to rowing class or running club, so that hasn't been a big change for me. Although I will say this: we moved into our new house and now we're in a rural area. And Michael and I were having lunch in the dining room the other day—‘cause now we have a dining room. Like, an official, formal dining room. Phil: Ooh. Christy: I know; it's pretty exciting. Anyway, the window from our dining room goes out past our front yard and then you can see the street. And like I said, there's not a ton of people out here. And so, we're sitting there eating lunch and this guy walks by. He's just walking down the road, pushing a lawnmower. And I got very excited. I was like, “Oh, my gosh, look! There's a guy and he's got a lawn mower. Maybe he'll stop here.” Michael said, “Well, I don't have any cash on me.” I said, “Cash is filthy [so], who cares? Use a card.” He's like, “Well, do you think he has a card reader?” The Alzheimer’s Podcast, Episode 136: What’s the Value of a Human Life? 3 I'm like, “Venmo? I don't know.” So, we come up with this whole thing, you know, very excited, thinking this guy's going to come to our door looking for work and mow the lawn. And we've got a pretty good chunk of lawn now. And so we're super excited. And then we felt really sad because he just kept walking. He did not, he didn't stop at our house. He just kept going. And I was like, Dang, it must—because I made a sign for the front yard that says, ‘Thank you, postal carrier, FedEx driver, UPS driver.’ And I was like, Why didn't I think to put, ‘Thank you, random person with the lawn mower’? If I had done that, maybe he would've stopped. But anyway, yeah, I saw a cartoon from The New Yorker where a guy and a dog are on a couch looking out the window, and the man says, “I never understood before why you got so excited when people walked by.” Michael had applied for the Paycheck Protection Program.