Wednesday, March 21, 2018 Volume CXXXVIII, No. 22 • poly.rpi.edu

FEATURES Page 8 FEATURES Page 8 EDITORIAL Page 4

Anna The importance of Koenig body positivity

Staff Exercise your civic Red Sparrow relies on violence and The Neighbourhood’s new Editorial duty as a student graphic imagery album disappoints

CAMPUS SECURITY Students told to leave campus

Courtesy of Google THE MARKER PICTURED above indicates where two students were asked to leave either campus or stop handing out "Renew Rensselaer " buttons. Darby Burns were—which was by the cross- People’s and Burdett Avenue. the Student Bill of Rights which Senior Reporter walk just before the entrance to the According to the Washington appear to directly contradict your Houston Fieldhouse. Free Beacon, Vice President claim…Would you please direct WHILE HANDING OUT "RENEW RENSSELAER" Gardner said that, when he held for Strategic Communications me to the policy requiring prior buttons to the student population, out a tax map that he had brought Richie Hunter said in an email authorization to distribute materi- graduate student Michael Gardner and told the officers that it was that students can distribute ma- als on campus?” was ordered by Public Safety officers public property, he was informed terials on campus, but must have Hunter responded with the to either stop or leave campus. that it “is private now,” because prior authorization to do so. The section of the handbook related A couple of hours before the start “RPI has eminent domain over this Beacon article can be found at to the reservation of buildings, of the Big Red Freakout hockey property during hockey games.” poly.rpi.edu/s/eminent. classrooms, and outdoor facilities game on February 24, Gardner said He said he was also told that he Gardner asked Hunter about at Rensselaer. When questioned Serving the that two Public Safety officers ap- couldn’t go towards Sunset Terrace her statement in an email saying, further, she redirected Gardner proached him and one other student, and People’s Avenue because that “upon searching for such a policy, to the Student Life Office, and Rensselaer and told them that they couldn’t was also private property, and that I was unable to locate it; however, said that “eminent domain is not community hand out the buttons where they he had to go down to the corner of I have located several clauses of relevant in this situation.” since 1885 STUDENT SENATE Division of Student Life presents Inside Comics ...... 6 accomplishments, future plans Editorial/Opinion . . . 4 Brookelyn Parslow achieving the structural goals of Clustered theoretical example of a student who is greatly Features ...... 8 Senior Reporter Learning Advocacy and Support for Students, struggling with a class like Data Structures; developing a Greek Life Commons struc- the counselor would recognize this as a major ON WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7, MEMBERS OF THE ture—on which Strong is hoping to do more stressor, and walk the student to the Advising Division of Student Life gathered in the work—and the implementation of the Off and Learning Assistance Center or, if the situ- Shelnutt Gallery to present on the past year Campus Commons. ation is bad enough, to their class dean. of progress and goals for the future, and get Student Life also “worked on enhancing Separately, Lawrence said, “If you don’t Connect input and feedback from the Student Senate. student health services availability and accessi- see an appointment on the [health] portal, Interim Vice President for Student Life LeNor- bility,” especially through the implementation we always hold back a certain number of Visit us online at: man Strong began with an explanation of Student of a triage model in the Counseling Center. appointments. Because I’ve started to see poly.rpi.edu Life’s purpose, which is to provide support for Executive Director of the Health Center Leslie things on Reddit about how the Student Like us on Facebook: students, advance the Institute’s goals of intel- Lawrence elaborated more on the service, Health Center never has appointments—and facebook.com/thepolytechnic lectual agility and multicultural sophistication, which aims to allow students to be seen on the I’ll admit we’ve been busy the last month and Follow us on Twitter and Instagram: and establish partnerships and links that help the same day that they seek assistance. a half—but we always have extra appoint- @RPIPoly division provide for students. One of the triage counselor’s main goals is to ments. Please pick up the phone and call us. He then elaborated on the accomplishments work with the student to alleviate stressors on of Fiscal Year 2018, which included fully the same day as their visit. Lawrence gave the See SENATE, Page 2 2 • News Wednesday, March 21, 2018 poly.rpi.edu EXECUTIVE BOARD Changes made to Special Rules of Order to reallocate $140 from club contin- year with a vote of 8-3-1. gencies to the German Longsword Next, W2SZ President Galen club, voting unanimously 13-0-0. Gold ’20 asked the Board for UPAC Sound then requested to money to replace some of their reserve the McNeil room on Sunday, hardlines and rotor cables. Gold ex- March 26 from 12 pm to 6 pm for plained that hardline is the coaxial a training show. Equipment Chair cable that is used to connect radios Kealan Hofler-Marron explained in their shack to antennae on their that UPAC Sound is bringing in a towers. Alongside the cost of the sound professional so that they can cables themselves, W2SZ would improve their skills as a club, and bet- also need to hire tower climbers to ter provide services to organizations replace the cables themselves, as on campus. Hofler-Marron further well as perform other routine main- mentioned that rooms elsewhere tenance and repairs. The E-Board on campus and in the Union will be approved a transfer of $1,678 from reserved and serve as study spaces, club contingencies for W2SZ’s Jonathan Caicedo/The Polytechnic and that the show will be well ad- cables with a vote of 12-0-0. vertised with posters beforehand so Following W2SZ, Policies THE GERMAN LONGSWORD CLUB RECEIVES funds to purchase a pair of masks and swords (file photo). students know the McNeil room will Committee Chair Anissa Choiniere ’20 Jonathan Caicedo P-Board is also planning DCC After to students late last year, there were be unavailable. The Board’s motion presented some recent changes to the Senior Reporter Dark, which will take place April 13. several concerns from students as to to allow UPAC Sound to use the Board’s Special Rules of Order, nota- Pencille also stated that the P-Board the legitimacy of the organization. McNeil Room passed 12-0-0. bly to the “Audio/Video Recordings THIS WEEK’S MEETING OF THE EXECUTIVE is working with the Union’s admin Knowles said that Union affiliation RPI TV President Jason Lee ’19 and Live-Streaming” section. Fol- Board was opened by President of the office to create a calendar for all and the subsequent listing of the also came before the Board with lowing the Senate’s resolution ear- Union Matthew Rand ’19, with the their events, and with other program- organization on the Union’s website a proposal that would reallocate lier this month, which prohibits agenda containing several proposals ming groups on campus to prevent might calm those concerns, provid- $2,600 from their current budget to any Union body from prohibiting from various on-campus organiza- conflicts between events occurring ing more legitimacy to the organi- their reserves for the purchase of a livestreaming at their meetings, the tions, and discussion on changes to at the same time. zation. The Board voted to affiliate new 4K camera next fiscal year. Lee E-Board’s policy had to be changed the Board’s Special Rules of Order. Graham Knowles, associate di- NSLS with a vote of 7-3-3. explained that while they believe the to reflect this mandate. The language First up was the report from the rector of the Archer Center, along Following the affiliation of NSLS, camera would make a good addition of the policy still states that “The committee of the week: UPAC. with several representatives, came to the Historic European Martial Arts to their current lineup of equipment, Executive Board or its members are Programming Board Chair Lauren the Board seeking Union affiliation club, also known as the German they still would like a demo before encouraged to not actively take part Pencille ’18 presented, first announc- for their organization—the National Longsword club, came seeking a the purchase. The demo couldn’t be in live-streaming of meetings,” but ing the success of Winter Carnival, Society of Leadership and Success. starter budget to begin their organi- scheduled before the large purchasing removes language that permits the which drew in 500 to 1,000 people Knowles outlined that the purpose zation. Currently, members provide deadline set by the Union. A motion President of the Union from asking for events and activities at the East of NSLS, whose chapter at RPI was their own equipment, but the club to reallocate the $2,600 to RPI TV’s guests to remove recordings at her Campus Athletic Campus. Pencille started July 2017, is to build “stu- was looking to purchase a pair of reserve account failed with a vote of request. The full amended policy is further mentioned that tickets for dent’s leadership capacity” through masks and swords to have on hand 4-4-5. After further discussion, the available at poly.rpi.edu/s/ebprop. UPAC Concerts’ spring concert, seminars and various networking for newer members who might Board decided to move the large pur- A motion to pass the amended featuring Blackbear, will go on events. He further mentioned that, as not have the necessary equipment chase deadline back so RPI TV can Special Rules of Order passed sale Wednesday, March 21. The NSLS sent out induction invitations already. The Board passed a motion still purchase the camera this fiscal 12-0-0. Senate: Input from students wanted From Page 1 dents better understand the implications of social media and its potential to affect I know people nowadays don’t like to use job opportunities. the phone, but we will squeeze you in. Title IX and sexual misconduct training Never feel there’s not an appointment.” is currently in place and required for many Strong, continuing to reflect on Fiscal leadership positions, but Student Life Year 2018, addressed the implementation aims to bring that experience to the rest of The Arch. “I’ll be candid with you and of campus so that the entire community say that we have data in the office from a is receiving the same information. recent survey that helps us to understand Other goals included increasing services that students still don’t get it—that there is available to international students and a huge gap between what the program does underrepresented students, and enhancing and what students believe that it’s doing.” the graduate student experience. He recognized that more needs to be Strong then shared updates on some done to distribute information about the major initiatives, which included the cre- program, and expressed that Student Life ation of a Student Life advisory commit- intends on making an effort to collect more tee that would meet frequently to provide student opinions on the matter. more consistent feedback from student Strong then moved on to Student Life’s representatives and their constituencies. many goals and strategies for Fiscal Year 2019. The committee would be comprised of One goal revolved around increasing people appointed by the grand marshal student involvement in the capital cam- and Executive Board, the Student Life paign through student-developed propos- Committee of the Student Senate, and the als on where to direct donations, so that Athlete Student Advisory Committee. campaign officers can share these plans After the presentation, the members of with potential donors. the Division of Student Life opened up The Arch preparatory course, another for questions from the Senate. The full ar- initiative which aims to assist students in ticle about this meeting, including ques- creating a job search strategy and a plan tions asked by students, will be available for making their away semester mean- at a later date at poly.rpi.edu/s/slsenate. ingful, will be available this fall on the Learning Management System. “Something that has hit us really hard this Senate livestreams fall is the fact that our students who might be brilliant with developing technology aren’t are available on the so sometimes when it comes to using it, Student Government particularly social media,” shared Strong. Student Life plans to create resources Facebook page. on “digital world realities” to help stu-

Serving the Rensselaer community since 1885 poly.rpi.edu Wednesday, March 21, 2018 Advertisement • 3

PRESIDENT’S Spring

Town Meeting

Thursday, March 22 from 3 – 4 p.m.

EMPAC The Curtis R. Priem Experimental Media and Performing Arts Center

Featuring Institute Update • Q&A • Refreshments

rpi.edu to watch the live stream

Serving the Rensselaer community since 1885 Editorial Wednesday, March 21, 2018 EDITORIAL NOTEBOOK STAFF EDITORIAL Developing Why not change Rensselaer? Positively affect RPI through continuous civic engagement self-confi dence WITH SEEMINGLY HIGH LEVELS OF DISCONTENT AND address concerns. This is the best place to give input complaints coming from the Rensselaer community on what you would like to see at Rensselaer. Refl ecting on personal growth through protests and social media, The Polytechnic At the most recent Fall Town Meeting, many OVER SPRING BREAK, I WENT TO MIAMI, Editorial Board hopes to see students act on these feel- students and alumni came prepared with thought- Florida with a few of my friends. Once we ings through increas d civic engagement. A great way ful, difficult questions. A lot has happened since bought our tickets, we immediately began to do this is by running for student government or by at- then, including the implementation of the SafeRide planning all of the fun things we could do tending the Spring Town Meeting this Thursday at 3 pm. program, a director of the Union candidate being there, becoming especially excited about Anyone who has walked around campus in the last given the Human Resources Interview Committee’s going to the beach. Yet, as a trip to the couple days might have noticed a proliferation of prepared questions prior to their interview without beach might warrant, we all were pretty posters depicting smiling students, campaign prom- the committee’s knowledge, the shortening of Win- nervous having to deal with the so-called ises, and—as is tradition at Rensselaer—confusing ter Break, Jackson’s endorsement of Professor Chris “perfect” beach body stereotype. acronyms. Both the Executive Board and Student Bystroff’s email to faculty accusing alumni of racism, Anna In the months leading up to our trip, Senate are currently preparing for the campus-wide and the resolution of the judicial inquiries surrounding Koenig each of us developed our own personal- election that will determine who will make up the protest participation on October 13, 2017. ized regimens to try and get the desired Associate new student leadership. It can be easy to just turn a blind eye given the body type. It was the main topic of most Features Editor At the time of publication, there were 23 people challenges that being a student poses, but if you of our discussions, until I finally realized running for office. This is a significant downturn value our campus, make the effort to take some how arbitrary the concept really was. compared to last year’s election, which had 56 people time to reflect on the times you weren’t happy with Throughout my life, my weight has always fluctuated. Looking back at pictures, it’s so interesting to see how different my body running. Candidates still have until March 30 to hand something on campus, or had an idea to make things was compared to now. Even in the past year, I have lost over 30 in candidacy and nomination forms, but this lack of better. While the town meeting is being held on a pounds. Though losing the weight felt like a great accomplishment, enthusiasm for student government is worrying. If Thursday—a decision we’ve expressed frustrations I am in no way a person who is completely confident with my body. you’ve ever been interested in making Rensselaer a with in the past due to the inconveniences it poses No matter, leading up to my Spring Break, I have become much better place for students, participating in commit- for students—this is something to prioritize. If there more okay with not having a flatter stomach or no stretch marks. tees—whether you’re elected or not—is one of the are topics you want to know more about or opinions Diets and exercise are always good to help maintain per- most effective ways to do that. you would like to express, now is the time. sonal health, but they shouldn’t be motivated by your fears President Shirley Ann Jackson’s biannual town Your civic engagement at Rensselaer should not end and anxieties brought about by unreasonable standards for meeting is the best place to reach out to administra- at protests and Reddit posts; get involved and actively what you should be. Reminding myself of how there are no tion and voice your opinion; the president is there participate in the changes you would like to see. guidelines to a beautiful and healthy body will help push me to update the community on changes to and plans to become more comfortable with how I look. for Rensselaer, as well as to answer questions and TOP HAT RPI foils free speech again HELLO RPI, and Responsibilities does not contain provisions I hope you had an enjoyable Spring Break, and against students sharing materials on campus, that it gave you the chance to recharge before we yet administrators have cited the section of the Jjj begin our last leg of the academic year. As a quick Handbook that stipulates facilities must be re- reminder, election season is well underway, and it served in advance as a defense for the removal is not too late to run for office! For any questions of the students; however, this is not relevant to on elections and campaigning, feel free to reach students exercising the right to free expression out to Elections Commission Chairperson Caleb both in and out of the classroom, a right RPI has Editor in Chief Caraway ’19 at [email protected]. committed to providing its students. Furthermore, Today, I would like to address a these policies certainly don’t apply to Brookelyn Parslow

concern that has been developing for off-campus outdoor spaces. The clause [email protected] a few weeks pertaining to the rights against “operating a business” on of students on campus. Prior to and campus has also been cited in recent during the annual Big Red Freakout! judicial attempts against students, even Editorial Board hockey game, students were standing though students’ opinions by no means Senior Managing Editor Tyler Carney [email protected] on public sidewalks near the Houston constitute a business entity. Contributing Editor Crystal Vejar [email protected] Field House, handing out buttons pro- College is a time for critical think- Contributing Editor Nicholas Luczak [email protected] moting “Renew Rensselaer” to event ing, exploring the morals and ethics of News Editor Darby Burns [email protected] Business Manager Peter Begonja [email protected] attendees as they streamed into the the world around us, and developing de facto Features Editor Anahit Hovhannisyan [email protected] game. Shortly after administrators ar- our own well-informed views. Our de facto Sports Editor Brookelyn Parslow [email protected] rived at the event, these students were Justin students are exceptionally skilled at de facto Editorial/Opinion Editor Crystal Vejar [email protected] Copy Editor Serge Piskun [email protected] approached by Department of Public Etzine this; perhaps this speaks to either the de facto Composing Editor Tyler Carney [email protected] Safety officers and were instructed to Grand Marshal caliber of the students RPI enrolls, de facto Photography Editor Brookelyn Parslow [email protected] de facto Web Editor Jonathan Caicedo [email protected] cease handing out such materials, citing or the values our faculty instill in us Associate Features Editor Anahit Hovhannisyan [email protected] RPI’s “eminent domain” over the roads leading to through their curricula. Regardless, stifling stu- Associate Features Editor Anna Koenig [email protected] the Houston Field House during hockey games. dents’ voices through the manipulation and even Associate Photography Editor Jonathan Caicedo [email protected] Firstly, the obvious issue at play is RPI’s flawed outright fabrication of policies and laws does not usage of “eminent domain,” which Cornell Law set a good example for our students. I urge our ad- Coordinators defines as “The power of the government to take ministration to uphold and promote our collegiate Advertising Director Brookelyn Parslow [email protected] private property and convert it into public use.” RPI, values, especially in the pursuit of “Knowledge Web Director Sidney Kochman [email protected] a private entity, does not have the authority to dismiss & Thoroughness.” I believe we should take pride Systems Director Sidney Kochman [email protected] individuals from public property, regardless of day, in the thoroughness our students demonstrate in Systems Coordinator Jonathan Caicedo [email protected] Systems Coordinator Joseph Lyon [email protected] time, or nearby events on campus. This concern has their thoughts, opinions, and research. And I urge Copy Coordinator Maria Kozdroy [email protected] already been raised by the Foundation for Individual students to always use your voices, to recognize Features Coordinator Jacob Kaplan [email protected] Rights in Education, an organization that defends that RPI guarantees freedom of speech and ex- Features Coordinator Pragati Pant [email protected] Graphics Coordinator Ana Wishnoff [email protected] civil liberties on college campuses, and a representa- pression, and to stand up for yourselves if those Operations Coordinator Rex Hu [email protected] tive from the New York Civil Liberties Union, New rights are being threatened.

York’s affiliate for the American Civil Liberties As always, I implore students to keep making The Rensselaer Polytechnic is published weekly, except during holiday and examination periods, Union. Unfortunately, FIRE has had to monitor RPI their voices heard, to stand by what they believe by the students of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute as authorized by the Rensselaer Union. Opinion pieces in this newspaper do not necessarily reflect the views of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute or closely after the many alarming events that have oc- in, and to always question the assumed. Above all, the Rensselaer Union. All submitted material becomes the property of The Rensselaer Polytechnic. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit for reasons of space, clarity, libel, or style and to compose curred over the past two years, and the organization remember that you have rights. If you have any headlines for all articles printed. “Letters to the Editor” must be typed, signed, and fewer than 500 has now sent four letters—since October 2017—to questions, comments, ideas, or concerns, please words in length. “My Views” must be typed, signed, and between 500 and 700 words in length. The telephone number of the author is required for letter verification. All letters are due by 5 pm on the Friday the RPI administration to address their concerns. feel free to reach out to me at [email protected]. prior to publication, and can be sent in a Word document attachment via email to [email protected]. Views expressed in opinion columns provide differing viewpoints to help balance the newspaper and The administration has not refuted that the stu- do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Editorial Board. These opinion columns, other than those dents were removed from a public sidewalk but, granted to certain student government organizations, are granted on a semesterly or yearly basis by the Editorial Board. Those interested in starting a column should email [email protected] for details. regardless of property ownership, RPI students Editorial and Business offices are located in Room 3418 of the Rensselaer Union, Troy, New York, 12180-3590. Subscription and advertising rates can be forwarded upon request. Subscriptions are sent have the right to stand up for causes they believe Justin Etzine via first class mail. Address correction requested. in. Our Rensselaer Handbook of Student Rights 152nd Grand Marshal poly.rpi.edu Wednesday, March 21, 2018 Features • 5 ALBUM REVIEW MOVIE REVIEW Hola horror genre, adios sleep schedule Weston Brousseau Sandra Escacena, is an absolute star Staff Reviewer throughout the film, despite this being her first major film. Escacena even won I AM NOT USUALLY A HORROR MOVIE PERSON, the CEC Award for best new actress for so when my best friend and I sat down to this movie. The real feeling of horror watch Veronica while we teased “I’m not comes from the subtlety of Paco Plaza scared, you’re scared,” we had no idea what and his team of writers. Paco Plaza is a were in for. We had heard that this movie decorated horror veteran who has, over the was the scariest movie on Netflix, and we course of his career, won 18 awards and thought that maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. been nominated for 19 more. Plaza is the We were wrong. The movie director of the REC series, a is in Spanish, which would Veronica trio of found footage horror typically dissuade me it but, 8.5/10 movies that have been terrify- do not let that stop you from ing people since 2007. watching. Horror is a univer- “Solid horror This movie is scary, not sal language that is fluently fl ick with because of the special effects, spoken throughout this movie. impressive gore, or even the jump scares, acting, despite The movie follows the story a fairly basic but because the fear seems to of Veronica, a young school story.” sink in from the first few mo- Courtesy of Columbia Records girl who uses a Ouija board ments of the movie, and sits IN THEIR THIRD STUDIO ALBUM, THE NEIGHBOURHOOD EXPERIMENTS with and accidentally finds herself haunted there until hours after the credits roll. This electronic sounds, while also showcasing classic tones and meaningful lyrics. by an evil force. As far as plots go, this movie had me guessing at every shadow movie is pretty cut and dry as a standard and running from every sound and carried ghost story. This is understandable, as the through the night as I walked around my movie is actually based on a true story— own house. While I can’t necessarily en- Indie album showcases a fact that does little to help me sleep at dorse this movie as being the scariest movie night. The story is one of the major things on Netflix, because I have seen movies that that holds the movie back. However, the were maybe slightly scarier, this movie is versatility in new sound performances in this film shine through. absolutely terrifying; I highly recommend Pragati Pant The cast of Veronica is a very talented it to anyone who enjoys a good scare every Senior Reviewer group that I may never have heard of had now and then. I not seen this movie. The main actress, RELEASED MARCH 9, THE NEIGBOURHOOD CAME OUT JUST AS SPRING BREAK STARTED. I KNEW I was about to spend a relaxing week at home, and an album by The Neighbourhood, ALBUM RECOMMENDATIONS one of my favorite bands, was exactly what I craved. However, I wasn’t entirely pleased with what I heard. This self-titled album shows a different side of the band. While The Neigbourhood maintains its typical relaxing flow within the songs, there is a greater emphasis on electronically-influenced music. Specifically, “Softcore,” the fifth song in the album, features techno background music with heavy, very obvious autotuned voices. Although autotune is not uncommon within their songs, this song has a very unfitting sound which I, as a big fan of the band, didn’t find appealing. I listen to The Neighbourhood for their alluring, more natural tones. Furthermore, this album, unlike those in the past, was slower than I expected. It was hard for me to sit down and listen to the album all the way through. I had to take a break in the middle, which is not something I have done in the past. My lack of inter- est in the songs may be due to their repetitive nature, where each song is essentially Courtesy of Sweat it Out! Not All The Beautiful Things the previous song but with a few lyrical changes. While I wasn’t pleased with the What So Not overall structure of the album, this does not mean that there aren’t individual songs Recommended by: worth listening to within the album. Brookelyn Parslow Regardless of the experimental songs within The Neighbourhood, I was still able to enjoy parts of the album. As a fan, I can still appreciate the similarities of older songs from the band that shined through. One of my favorite aspects of this band is that they bring a slow comforting tune to the majority of their songs, mainly with stories of rebel- lious teenagers in love. The third song in the album, “Nervous,” adhered to their typical storytelling, which I found inviting. This song describes the nervousness that comes with opening up to love, and is more in touch with their usual alternative sound. Another song that caught my attention was the second song in the album,“Scary Love.” Following their previously mentioned trend, this song describes the intensity and uncertainty of falling in love. Both songs highlight The Neighbourhood’s strengths, reassuring their longtime fans that the old, desired sound of the band hasn’t completely changed. Altogether, this self-titled album features a variety of songs, ranging from those that fall under the band’s expected sound to those that make the band more versatile.

Whether you are a fan of The Neighbourhood or not, there is most likely something MCMXCV of Courtesy for you in this album. With the overarching message of how we need to be loved in Vertigo order to be happy, this album provides a calming, yet intriguing experience fit for a Eden lazy Saturday afternoon. Recommended by: Isabella Urban

Want to write about things you’re passionate about? Send us an email at [email protected]! Courtesy of Def Bobby Tarantino II Logic Recommended by: Serge Piskun

Serving the Rensselaer community since 1885 6 • Comics Wednesday, March 21, 2018 poly.rpi.edu

DILBERT by Scott Adams TOP TEN LIST Fast Food Memes 10. Papa John’s Obamacare 9. Doritos Locos Tacos 8. SpaghettiOs Pearl Harbor 7. Chick-Fil-A Sunday 6. Panda Express meat rice 5. Chipotle E-Coli 4. IKEA horse meat 3. Jared from Subway 2. McDonald’s pink slime 1. Burger King foot lettuce WORD FIND by Weston Brousseau Words can be found forwards, backwards, up, down, and in both diagonals. Countries to travel to P G T H A I L A N D E F C R T H R B U A U S T R A L I A Z I I E G I O N C Z D W A P F P O L C N R Z W I R R N M R E W S L N D Z E N N T Y L A E R Z L I Z N M E E G H T N W D X I G P O N D Z A C G C H D S Z E W E N B G M Z Z E D S W A Q Q B N J K M I I M D O W R A X Z A E H G O O P E T Y B N D S L R S N Z R O S I N G A P O R E B N O R R T D N M G O D Q N G A D N I O C I X E M P W N G M D X A G C W A T G H A N X C B O M P I O T S P A I N L P A P S L A O L T I D N L G E T W C X H J O E X A A T Y Y N B A M D N I A R G E N T I N A G C E H N O D D L E W I N D E T O N N Argentina France Malta Singapore Australia Greece Mexico Spain Barbados Italy Morroco Thailand Brazil Japan Phillipines

If you have any funny jokes, send them to [email protected] and they may be featured in The Poly next week!

Serving the Rensselaer community since 1885 poly.rpi.edu Wednesday, March 21, 2018 Comics • 7

XKCD by Randall Munroe MONDAY PUNDAY by Matthew Broussard

SATURDAY 3/31 GM Week Kickoff! MEAN GIRLS DCC 308, 7pm-2am Showing of Mean Girls at 7pm, 9:30pm, and 12am. Tickets are $2.50/person. (UPAC Cinema, Student Government) gmweek.union.rpi.edu MONDAY 4/2 TUESDAY 4/3 WEDNESDAY 4/4 THURSDAY 4/5 FRIDAY 4/6

Pop-Up 1 Primary Voting (As Needed) VOTING Veteran’s Lounge Grand Opening Union Patio, 11am-2pm Commons, DCC, Union, 9am-7pm Commons, DCC, Union, 9am-7pm McNeil Room, 3pm-4pm Spin-Art Frisbees (RPI Elections) Vote and get your GM Week Mug! Short remarks honoring our student, Snowman’s Ice Cream! Pop-Up 2 (RPI Elections) staff and faculty veterans followed by a Union Patio, 11am-2pm NO CLASSES (GM Week) weR Mugshots viewing of the new lounge. Big Chair Photos and Stromboli from Student Appreciation Day Discounts Outside RSDH, 9am-2pm Primary Debates (As Needed) DeFazio’s! (GM Week) 6 McNeil Room, 5pm-7pm All Day at the Bookstore! The Red & White Organization will be Solar S’Mores (Debate Club, GM Week) taking pictures of students on voting Union Patio, 1pm-4pm FINALE Provost’s BBQ day with their new mugs! All students, $ Country Two-Step Lesson Use the sun to make delicious food with are encouraged to come and get their 6 Mother’s, 7pm-9pm Resident Student Association! Commons Field, 11am-3pm Field House, 7pm-11pm Entertainment from Clubs and ADPS picture taken! Election Results Members of RPI Ballroom will teach a Erg-A-Thon Music & Arts Festival + Rodeo activities. Pop-Up 3 Live Music 7 country two-step lesson and then play Union Patio (Near Horseshoe) 5pm-5pm 8 Rain Location: Armory Union Patio, 3pm-6pm Laser Light Show music for social dancing. The RPI Crew Club presents its annual (Provost/ GM Week) Airbrush tattoos, Dumplings from Lee Roller Rink (RPI Ballroom) Erg-A-Thon, where rowing machines are set 8 Lin! (GM Week) Old Time Photos 1 up and we row for 24 hours. A Cappella Free4All Logo Reveal Party Mechanical Bull Tradition’s Scavenger Hunt Meanest Man On Campus Debates McNeil Room, 7pm-9pm McNeil Room, 4pm-6pm Giant Slide & more! 5 Heffner Alumni House, 7pm-9pm McNeil Room, 5pm-6:30pm Come watch all four A Cappella groups T-shirts, cupcakes, giveaways, & more! (GM Week) ' The Red & White Organization will be (APO) perform: Duly Noted, Partial Credit, The (MAP Committee) putting on their annual scavenger hunt Debates ' Rusty Pipes, Rensselyrics! Rensselaer Rodeo BBQ around campus. Teams consist of 3-5 McNeil Room, 7pm-9pm $ (A Cappella Groups) Mothers, 6pm-8pm members and prizes will be gift cards of (RPI Elections, Debate Club) UPAC Comedy Presents up to $150! The Rodeo Roast! Patrons will enjoy a $ The Magnificent Seven Daniel Franzese Speakers Forum: Kyle Pope three-course meal with beers that < DCC 308, 9:30pm McNeil Room, 9pm EMPAC, 7:30pm-9pm complement the food. 21+ UPAC Cinema presents a FREE showing Daniel Franzese who plays Damien in Columbia Journalism Review Editor in (Clubhouse Pub) < of The Magnificent Seven during GM Mean Girls will be performing stand-up Chief (Speakers Forum) GM PU Roast comedy. (UPAC Comedy) Week. McNeil Room, 8pm-9:30pm GM Week Trivia with Perry Clubhouse Pub, 7:30pm-10pm Join us for a fun-filled evening of trivia with host Perry Laskaris. Prizes, food, and fun for all! 21+

Serving the Rensselaer community since 1885 Features Wednesday, March 21, 2018 INSTANT NOODLE REVIEW Anahit Hovhannisyan NongShim Pho Senior Reviewer 25 pts Immediately, the broth is fragrant with hints of cloves and cinnamon. Its Ramen is classic to college campuses all around the US. Have we ever considered taste was just as flavorful, and salty. The rice noodles, which are gluten- which brand is the best? Members of The Poly, including Anna Koenig ’21, Serge $1.93 free, initially felt rubber-like, but paired well with the broth. This option Piskun ’20, Crystal Vejar ’20, and I aim to find out. 200 cal felt the healthiest, considering its vegetables, spices, and calorie count. For this tasting, we have sampled the following products in beef flavors: Nissin Noodle Bowl “Hot & Spicy,” Maruchan Ramen Noodle Soup, Nissin Top Ramen “The Original,” and NongShim Shin Ramyun Noodle Soup. As alternatives to ramen, we have also considered: NongShim Pho, a Vietnamese rice noodle soup, Maruchan Yakisoba and Maruchan Yakisoba, a teriyaki beef-flavored noodle. Each product was graded in the following categories, using a one to ten scale: aesthetic, smell, noodle, and 25 pts It offers a sweet alternative to the otherwise sodium filled soups. Its sauce broth. The sum of each category gave a total out of 40. This value, along with was smooth and paired well with ramen-style noodles. Although it lacked general comments from the Poly reviewers is listed below. $0.57 smell, this product was both aesthetically pleasing and a refreshing alterna- tive. When asked which of the alternatives the reviewers would purchase 500 cal Nissin Noodle Bowl “Hot & Spicy” again, three of the four volunteers opted for this product.

21 pts This noodle bowl is most definitely both hot and spicy as advertised. How- ever, it took away from the flavor itself. There is no beef taste in the broth, NongShim Shin Ramyun Noodle Soup $0.74 but rather an oily feeling and a strange aftertaste. The noodles are thinner than traditional instant ramen, but it is aesthetically pleasing. Noodles and 420 cal 23 pts Labeled as “gourmet,” this noodle soup is spicy and flavorful, winning in aesthetics is where this noodle bowl shined. the broth category. It includes mushrooms, and various vegetables, which $0.94 increases its aesthetic appeal. Although it lacks in smell, it makes up for Maruchan Ramen Noodle Soup 500 cal it in all other categories. 16 pts Another contender for a classic pack of instant ramen, Top Ramen has the same type of noodles as the Maruchan Ramen noodle soup. A differentiating factor is this product’s $0.16 flavorful, and less salty, broth. Aesthetically equal, this product had better broth and Conclusion 380 cal smell than its direct competitor. Out of the ramen options, NongShim Shin Ramyun Noodle Soup won in terms of points, but Nissin Top Ramen “The Original” not in price. This product had the most flavorful broth, but at a cost. When considering the two cheapest alternatives, Nissin Top Ramen was a better contender than Maruchan in terms 18 pts This is what may be referred to as one of the classics. The noodles are thicker of taste. As for alternatives, both NongShim Pho and Maruchan Yakisoba are interesting to $0.22 and more reminiscent of what one would expect from instant ramen. However, consider as they match in score. However, the style of food largely differs. Ultimately, each the broth is very salty and tasted only of warm water. This product won most meal took roughly five minutes to cook and required limited kitchen tools. As a college meal 380 cal of its points from noodles. to enjoy in a dorm room, all instant ramen comes out a winner.

MOVIE REVIEW Red Sparrow different than expected Elena Smalline expecting so much, especially from a tension throughout the movie. If you want a graphic, sexist at times, and sexually perverse. A Special to The Poly movie so widely advertised. suspenseful movie, I certainly recommend If you can stomach that though, it’s definitely In addition, the main character was sent to a it, but I want to warn you that the movie was the movie for you. THE RED SPARROW, STARRING JENNIFER LAWRENCE, school where she was trained to seduce men to is a strange movie with many varying se- gain information, which, in and of itself, seems quences of events. The opening scene is a a bit sexist. It appears to suggest that women ballet. Jennifer Lawrence stands on-stage in can only be helpful if they are able to prey on pointe shoes and a red dress, pirouetting and men’s sexual weaknesses. In addition, there leaping across the stage, only to be pushed were graphic scenes of physical torture for to a career-ending injury. This is only the information, as well as heavy pools of blood. beginning of many sequences of unfortunate Nevertheless, the movie was exciting. It kept events. Nonetheless, the characters draw you you on the edge of your seat, leaving you to in, despite the actors’ Russian accents that were never know what was going to happen next. It lacking in true authenticity. ended with a grand finale that you would never This movie was quite mainstreamed. It was have expected. In addition, Jennifer Lawrence, advertised during the Super Bowl, as well as although lacking in a true Russian accent, played in commercials on NBC and ABC networks. a strong female character who showed little fear. It appears exciting—a true thriller. Because She established her power over many of the male of how often the movie was advertised, you characters throughout the entirety of the movie. would not expect the movie to be so incred- However, I do not agree with oversexualizing ibly cruel and graphic. Even though it was female characters in many movies, and this rated R, the people that I went with were not movie proved to be no different. anticipating such a spectacle. Joel Edgerton played an American CIA The movie included graphic blood, as agent, and he and Lawrence certainly had Courtesy of 20th Century Fox well as female nudity, graphic sex, and chemistry. The overall acting in the movie RED SPARROW RECEIVES mixed reviews, being criticized for its reliance on a full male frontal. Personally, I was not was believable, and led to excitement and graphic violence and sex to drive the storyline.