PEER CRITIQUE, Project #3, Draft #1 Interpreting Rule of the Bone English 120, Nichols, Spring 13

To Critiquers Please complete this critique drawing on class discussions and in conjunction with your Call to Write reading assignments throughout the semester: "A Case Study of a Writing Assignment," pp. 478-494. "Putting the Parts Together" and "Designing Paragraphs," pp. 509-519. "Working with Sources," pp. 413-425. TO RECEIVE CREDIT FOR THIS CRITIQUE, YOU MUST OFFER ACTIVE, THOUGHTFUL, DEVELOPED FEEDBACK —NO PERFUNCTORY COMMENTS OR MERE YES-NO RESPONSES. Put some time and thought into each item; both you and the paper writer will benefit.

To Paper Writers Be sure to save the critiques completed on your own draft. (You'll print them out and attach them to the final product of your finished essay.)

Paper writer's name (provide FULL NAME) ______Critiquer's name (provide FULL NAME) ______

1) Read through the draft before you and offer some initial reactions (questions, observations, immediate impressions). What do you really like, right off the bat?

2) Assess the introduction: does it engage your interest and make you want to read further? Can you suggest something to make it more interesting?

Does the intro make clear the paper’s topic and purpose? It is customary, in a literary analysis, to indicate the title of the novel and its author's full name very early on. Thereafter, you can refer to the author by his/her last name. Has this essay writer done so?

3) Assess the thesis. (The thesis for this paper should be an original, debatable claim about what the novel means or how we might best understand and appreciate the novel or any of its parts. If the writer is dealing with research on something like dysfunctional families, the thesis should still be a statement, ultimately, about the novel—not dysfunctional families per se.) a. Is the thesis clear? See if you can state it here: This writer is mainly claiming that______. (If you having trouble finding a thesis, or are unsure about how you’ve identified it, let the writer know.)

b. Is that central point evident early on and consistent throughout? Is it nicely re-affirmed at the end? Or does the main idea sort of get lost or even change as the paper proceeds? c. Is the thesis original, or at least stated in a fresh way? (Your thesis represents all the hard thinking you’ve done about your topic; it shouldn’t be an idea which you’ve simply lifted from someone else. Try to put your own mark on your interpretation.)

4) Is the thesis well-supported in the body of the essay?

All claims—from the thesis to the topic sentences of paragraphs—should be illustrated and supported with lots of specific details, examples, reasons, and references from the book.

You want to finish reading with the feeling and understanding that the novel now makes more sense to you, and that you've gained insight into it which you didn't have before.

Comment on how well the writer is actually proving and backing his/her main idea. If you are not convinced or have nagging doubts, tell the writer where you think the argument is weak, or point out evidence in the story which contradicts their thesis. Help the writer close any holes in their case.

5) Has the writer kept plot summary to a minimum? (I.e., plot summary should only be provided when necessary, to refresh the reader’s memory, and to be sure the reader is following the argument. The writer should avoid merely re- telling the story or telling you what is already obvious.)

6) Are the paragraphs focused, each with an explicit (or strongly implied) claim which clearly links back to the paper's CENTRAL claim, or thesis? Do any of the paragraphs actually make MORE than one claim? (If multiple claims are crammed into a paragraph, there’s a good chance that NONE of them are really being elaborated and supported! Each paragraph should take on and support just a single point, with tons of specific detail to back up each one.) Do the paragraphs include helpful transitions and navigational cues to help you get from one to the next without getting lost?

7) Recall our Power Point presentation on using sources and also "Working with Sources," pp. 413-425, in your Call to Write. Remember that you need to cite a source when: 1) you quote the source; 2) you summarize or paraphrase the source's words and ideas; 3) you are stating little-known or debatable facts; 4) any time you think your reader may want or need more info. Remember too that you need a Works Cited page! And all essays should of course include at least one entry—the novel!). Example of paraphrased reference to Rule of the Bone, with an in-text citation: Chappie's desire to tell his mother the truth is apparent by how he seeks her out at work, and by how he hints—as well as he is able —that Ken is guilty of serious transgressions. He never comes right out and tells her, but he does ask her several leading questions, and it is clear that he is struggling to make her understand (Banks 157).

2 Example of quoted reference to Rule of the Bone, with an in-text citation: We can see Chappie's dramatically changing identity as he's preparing to leave the Ridgeway's house: "It was strange to stand there in front of the mirror and see myself like I was my own best friend, a kid I wanted to hang with forever (Banks 130-131). He's clearly becoming someone he actually likes, someone he has chosen to be and not someone he's forced to be by the lousy circumstances of his life. Has the writer appropriately integrated and documented any references from or to the novel?

Has the writer appropriately integrated and documented any outside sources they may be using?

8) Any final questions you would like to ask the writer? Any further tips or suggestions?

Hey, thanks for your feedback!

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