The Church of St

The Church of St. Andrew the Apostle The Messenger Rectors Message God Works Through People

One of the wonderful things about being your rector is often hearing Jan/Feb 2016 positive and kind words of encouragement. This happens, blessedly, all the time. On two occasions recently I received what are called “back-handed” compliments. These are compliments that, given a quick ponder, are insulting. Both were from beautiful people who I strongly believe delivered them inadvertently. It got me thinking about that beautiful verse from Romans, “All things work Inside this issue: for the good for them that love God and are called according to his purposes” and so I thought I would Flower Donations , 3 turn it back around and share a little Thank You, Altar Guild, Chili teaching on “the gift of a compliment.” Contest It has been a fun topic to research.

Munson’s Candy 4 Sincere compliments are one of the Fundraiser most exceptional components of a healthy social life. If given both Pasta Dinner 5 authentically and correctly, they create Benefit so much positive energy that makes things happen as if by magic. They TGIF, Outreach , 6 ease the atmosphere around two people Prayer Shawl and kindly dispose people to each Celebrating 7-8 other. Compliments derive from Cindy Kershaw taking notice of praiseworthy situations. They are a mark of awareness and consciousness. The late George Fosdick, for example, cultivated this awareness, and as I read my Bible, so did our Lord Jesus Christ.

Christ is, indeed, lavish in his praise. What really caught my eye was he extended this to what were called at the time “pagans,” in lavish in his praise. To be a follower other words, the compliment needs to other words, all of the Christ, then, obligates a person be put forth into the world in spoken people. He said of the to praise others, to give honest and form. Much research suggests those centurion who sincere compliments, and to express who give pleaded with him to appreciation and gratitude. In other heal his servant, “Not words, Christ’s example teaches the (continued) even in Israel have I graciousness of kind, thoughtful words found such faith.” To that validate the virtues of others and the Canaanite woman creates that positive energy that makes who implored him to things happen as if by “magic.” heal her daughter, our Lord gave this tribute: Compliments are little gifts of love. “Oh, woman, great is They are not asked for or demanded. your faith.” I could They are powerful gifts. They always, go on and on from the however, need to be genuine. A faux one (and only) flattery is usually highly transparent. “foreign” leper who In my research I discovered most folks returned to thank do notice others’ good work and deeds. Jesus for his healing However, we often tend to keep it to to the “good ourselves. They key is that once Samaritan.” I will say praiseworthy situations are noticed, the it again, Jesus was awareness needs to be spoken. In

Rector’s Message (continued).. compliments benefit greatly by giving them! Focusing on and noticing good qualities in others and the world around us gives our mood a boost all by itself!

If compliments are a gift from a donor, their reception is equally a gift - a return gift to the giver. I was surprised to learn that research on this subject has found that many women, in particular, discount compliments. They are far too hard on themselves. For example, if someone says, “Wow, you look great today,” the response is often “Oh, but I feel so fat (ugly) today.” This instantly sucks the positivity out of the air and deflates the donor. As my twin teenaged daughters would say, “awkward!”

There is only one way to receive a compliment: graciously and with a smile. I have learned to “inhale” compliments and allow that positive energy to work its magic! Then, as a follower of the Christ, I do my very best to pass the gift along…

Love in Christ,

Father Bill + Altar Flowers and Sanctuary Lamp

The sign-up sheets for weekly flowers and sanctuary lamp for 2016 are now up and ready to be filled out. For those of you who are not familiar with this, here is an explanation of the two:

Altar flowers: The sign-up sheet for altar flowers is in the back of the church, hanging on the wall as you exit the church. If you wish to sign up for flowers, please fill out your name and who you are remembering or celebrating next to the date you desire. The cost is $40.00. This is our cost to the florist. After the 10:30 service (or 9:00 a.m. service in the summer), the flowers are yours to keep! Please take them home with you. The container that they are in needs to be returned to the church after you have enjoyed your flowers at home. You can leave the container in the sacristy, the church office, or the kitchen. When paying for the flowers, be sure to write “altar flowers” in the memo of your check, or on the envelope if paying with cash.

Sanctuary lamp: The suggested cost of the sanctuary lamp is $10.00. The sign-up sheet is on the back table. Simply fill out your name with who you are remembering or celebrating next to the date you desire. When paying for the sanctuary lamp, be sure to write “sanctuary lamp” in the memo of your check or in the envelope if paying with cash.

Thank you

Thank you everyone for your generous contributions of toys! It was another successful year. The Church of the Good Shepherd in Hartford appreciates our generosity. The toys were distributed on Three Kings Day and we made a lot of children happy. Thank you again for your support with this important ministry.

Larry and Ethel Anderson

Altar Guild As I made out the upcoming schedule for Altar Guild, I see there are a few gaps. I think it is time to think about training new members. Altar Guild responsibilities are important and really easy to learn. You are never working alone; we work as teams. Please, if anyone wishes to even think about being part of the team of Altar Guild, contact me. I am more than willing to talk with you, even show you what we do and hope you can be added to the Altar Guild.

And as far as the present members, I cherish every single one for all they do in preparing the Altar for every service! Thank you very much. Judy Glynn, 860-830-6189.

Chili Contest

The Parishioner Involvement Committee will be holding a Chili Contest to be held after the 10:30 service on March 13th. We would like to invite parishioners to participate by either signing up to enter their chili or to come and be a taster and help us find the best chili. Save the date! A sign up sheet is in the back for chili makers and chili tasters!

MUNSON’s CANDY Fundraiser!! Help our youth fund their Mission Trip!

Looking for a “sweet” way to support the youth of our “sweet little church” who will be attending The Hartford Project mission trip this summer?

Please consider purchasing some scrumptious Munson’s candy during our fundraising event that promises delivery in time for Easter!

Delicious products include chocolate bunnies, jelly beans, specialty chocolate bars and many other treats which will make a delectable addition to your Easter baskets!

Please see a member of our Youth Group or check out the brochure in the back of the church to purchase some goodies for your families, friends, neighbors or yourself. Payment will be due when placing your order.

Questions? Contact Cathy Hinsch at (860) 343-1814 or [email protected] Pasta Dinner to Benefit Youth Group Mission Trip Saturday, February 6th at 5:30 p.m., in Church Hall

Tasty food and live entertainment will nourish your body and your funny bone at the “How I Met Your Mother” Pasta Dinner presented by the Youth Group. Our Youth Group members look forward to their fourth mission trip to The Hartford Project, where they will serve those in need in Connecticut’s Capital City. Please come out and support our youth by purchasing tickets after both services. Tickets will also be available at the door!

Tickets: $5 per person, $15 per family Menu includes pasta with red or white sauce, meatballs, salad, garlic bread and dessert! Need a ride to the dinner? Have any questions? Please contact Mary Manwaring at (860) 563-4643 or [email protected] or Cathy Hinsch at (860) 343-1814 or [email protected]

Mark your calendar today for Feb. 6 pasta dinner! TGIF

TGIF will meet on Friday, February 19. We will have a Beauty Counter consultant share product information and talk to us about safe vs unsafe ingredients in makeup and skin products. Bring something to eat, something to drink and a little spending money to pamper yourself. We will sample some of the lovely products...this is the stuff I use myself (mostly).

Outreach Committee

Outreach Committee will meet Wednesday, February 24 at 7:00 in the Wells Room. Newcomers are welcome!

Prayer Shawl Ministry

Our Prayer Shawl Ministry has been meeting for twelve years now. It's a simple ministry that has brought comfort and joy to many. For example: The birth of a child, graduation, illness or grief. The Prayer Shawl Ministry was initiated in 1998 by women who graduated from the Women's Leadership Institute at the Hartford Seminary. They were encouraged to carry on the spirit of the class through some kind of project. That is how the Prayer Shawl Ministry had its beginning and it has spread throughout the world. Knitting a simple shawl has allowed us to share our love with others and be a witness for God's love for us all. We meet on the second Wednesday of the month in the Well's room at 7 PM, except this month we will we will meet on Tuesday, February 9th, since it is Ash Wednesday on the 10th.

Jean Miller-Smith

Mary Laing Has A New Email

Mary Laing has a new personal email. Please delete the previous sbcglobal one. New email is : [email protected]. You can also reach her at [email protected]

Celebrating the Life of Cindy Kershaw

On January 8, our beloved Cindy Kershaw entered into God's Light and Love. While we rejoice that she is no longer suffering & is healthy once again on the other side of Eternity, a huge void has been left by her passing. While others may have been closer to Cindy and knew her better/longer than me, I feel compelled to share with you, my beloved church family, my thoughts about Cindy.

Cindy's imprint is everywhere at St. Andrew's: from her handiwork in the banners in the church, Father Bill's vestments, curtains in various places, etc. to the work she did with the Shawl Ministry, Newcomer Breakfasts, pie-making for the Pumpkin Fest, organizing the tea presentations with the Lasko's, & endless other areas.

My last time with Cindy at church was after services in late summer/early fall. She was continuing to get cancer treatment; but was ever-optimistic about her prognosis. Then throughout the fall, Cindy's name was on the Prayer list and when I asked about her status, I became worried when told “Cindy is not doing well. .. ..”, which eventually became, “there's nothing more that can be done for Cindy.” I was greatly saddened, but hoped that maybe she'd have a miracle & might recover; but this was not to be.

In December, plans were made to revive our Christmas caroling tradition. I was conflicted about whether to sing carols to Cindy, Jean Blomqvist, & George Fosdick on 12/20/15. Did I want my final memories of Cindy, Jean, & George to be ones of them ailing & weakened by illness or should I remember them while active & healthy? Because I had shed so many tears the night before the caroling, did I want to risk crying before them? Ultimately through prayer & calming down, I DID go to sing carols. I am very happy that I did (& I did NOT cry)! With Cindy, in particular, I had a final chance to tell her that I love her (& she returned the sentiment), to kiss her, & to show her the beautiful scarf I was wearing, that she had knit. In fact, she said something like, “I thought I had made the scarf you're wearing”!

Father Bill is well-known for his outstanding homilies to those who have left this earthly life. I felt he really “knocked one out of the park” with Cindy's homily (just couldn't resist a baseball analogy)! His final tribute with a standing ovation & applause for our Precious Cindy was amazing!!

The afternoon following Cindy's funeral, several church family members drove down to Cindy's lovely home on Cedar Lake in Chester at her family's invitation. Many who gathered there were family members, friends, neighbors, & even one of Cindy's college friends with whom I had a nice conversation. I heard many positive comments about Father Bill, his homily, the wake, the service, and our church family! Delicious food & drink were plentiful as was wonderful conversation, filled with smiles, laughter, & warm memories. The atmosphere at Cindy's home reminded me of the many enjoyable ECW picnics at her sweet little home; just with different people & sadly without Cindy, whose spirit, nonetheless, was present.

Later Friday evening, the celebration of Cindy continued at our monthly TGIF meeting. Many of us wore purple (Cindy's favorite color) and we ate many yummy baked goods & sipped tea, including the delightful Courtship Tea, created by our dear friends Donna & Ron Lasko. Cindy's closest friend Jean Miller-Smith reminded us that Cindy also liked red wine, so we had that too! I read a dedication & poem about Cindy by the Lasko's, which is included in this Messenger. (The night before, I had a most enjoyable talk with Donna, whom I called to make sure they knew of Cindy's passing. Of course, they DID know, thanks to communication with Cindy's daughter Laura, Father Bill, & Carol LaBella). We had a delightful evening at TGIF, sharing our memories of Cindy.

I wrote Father Bill that I felt that Cindy's wake & funeral (on 1/14 & 1/15/16) certainly brought out the best in the members of her family/friends & her church family who make up the sweet, joyful place called St. Andrew's church: loving, welcoming, warm, & uplifting. Cindy's wake & funeral were reflective of a tribute to the spirit, love, kindness, & boundless energy that Cindy brought to us in her much too-short life. I feel that that we must now continue to show the same spirit, love, & kindness she shared with us.

Although it was very sad to say good bye to a unique, precious soul in Cindy, I feel a sense of peace & yes, joy about the way we paid tribute to her. May Cindy rest in Peace Always! With Love & Tears, Pat Kuh

A Dedication and Poem to Cindy Kershaw from Donna & Ron Lasko

This poem is dedicated to the loving memory of the inspirational Cindy Kershaw who left this life on January 8, 2016. Cindy was a truly incredible human being and it was a privilege to have known her and to have her as a loving friend those last 20 years. Cindy is the author of “MY GOOD GRIEF-A Journey Through Joy and Sorrow” – which is a book of poetry and essays about her personal journey through life that is inspirational Reading for all of us. Ten years ago upon hearing that our son in law James Darling was to undergo a bone Marrow transplant, Cindy took it upon herself to knit and send him a prayer shawl. The transplant was Successful and our son in law remains well. Thankyou Cindy for being a loving friend always filled with Love, joy, hope and inspiration. This poem is for you, Cindy. – Donna & Ron Lasko

“ GRIEF SHOULD NOT TRUMP JOY”

As long as there is Beauty, There will be Poets. As long as there is Love, There will be Poetry.

As long as the Human Journey connects us, Joy is there. As long as there is Sorrow, There will be Poets. As long as there is Parting, There will be Poetry. As long as the Human Journey divides us, There will be Grief.

Your voice will be forever, Echoed in our Souls. For Grief – Should Not Trump Joy!

The Church of St. Andrew The Apostle

331 Orchard Street Rocky Hill, CT 06067 February Birthdays: Cathy Hinsch, Sue Coleman, Chris Markiewicz, Phone: 860-529-7622 Becky Rodbourn, Deb Elliott, Sara Laing, Maya Curry, Ginny Rowland, Email: [email protected] Brent St. Jacques, Herb Northrop, Larry Nitch, Dick Arnold, Leslie Masiello, John Pazdziora, Max Ball, Fr. John Rogers The Church of St. Andrew the Apostle 331 Orchard Street Rocky Hill, CT 06067