Clarification of 8825 (Version 4) - Produce Transactional Writing in Complex Forms

Clarification for writing standard US 8825 (version 4) Produce transactional writing in complex forms

See also:  The 8825 standard  The grade boundary samples of student work www.nzqa.govt.nz/ncea/resources/english/index.html  The clarification document for writing  The three internal assessment resources produced for 8825  The four internal assessment resources provided for the transactional writing achievement standard 90376

Teachers are reminded of the purpose, or intent, of this writing standard: People credited with this unit standard are able to produce transactional written text in complex forms.  Special note one defines transactional writing as writing that is “intended to convey factual information or to argue the validity of a point of view with objective evidence.” (English in the New Zealand Curriculum, 1994, page 143).  The reason why students should learn to write is further clarified in the New Zealand Curriculum, 2007, page 18: “To be successful participants [in the social, cultural, political, and economic life of New Zealand and the wider world], they need to be effective oral, written, and visual communicators who are able to think critically and in depth”.  Teachers are also reminded that this standard is derived from the Curriculum Level 7 writing achievement objectives and therefore there is an expectation that ideas and crafting of the writing in particular will be increasingly sophisticated and developed (assessed by the first, second and third criteria) by this level.

The range statement:  Students need to produce at least three pieces of writing.  The categories of writing are defined as informative writing, persuasive writing and expository writing.  The suggested forms of writing include report writing, speech writing, review, feature writing, editorial and literary essay.  For specific examples of appropriate writing forms, teachers are advised to refer closely to the three writing units produced for 8825 (see above reference) and also to the four internal assessment resources provided for 90376 (see above reference).

Conditions: The same conditions for assessment apply when assessing 8825 and the internally assessed writing achievement standard 90376, Produce crafted and developed formal transactional writing [2.2]. Teachers must be satisfied that the work is the student’s.  Students should complete internally assessed writing work in class. If the pieces are to be assessed for summative assessment, teachers should ensure that the extent of teacher input does not compromise assessment validity; in other words, the writing is the student’s, not the teacher’s. The teacher may guide students actively through the initial tasks helping them to identify techniques mentioned. The teacher may show how the techniques used in the exemplars can be applied to the student’s own writing.

 As they develop drafts, a teacher can advise students that their writing may need further work on ideas, language, structure or accuracy in spelling, punctuation or paragraphing but not correct errors. Students should have access to dictionaries to check their writing. Word processing is acceptable providing it is done under teacher supervision.

 If a piece of writing is for assessment, a teacher might indicate that certain types of errors (for example, grammar, punctuation, or spelling errors) require attention if a student is to meet the fourth criterion. If a piece is for assessment, a teacher could annotate a small section of the work in order to indicate the nature of the errors that exist throughout the writing, which the student then locates and corrects independently.

 Students should have several opportunities during the year to develop their transactional writing skills.

Mixed standards - literary essays: While it is acceptable, even suggested (special note 4), that this standard is assessed within the context of a larger unit of study, there needs to be a clear definition and distinction of the different requirements for each standard. For example, some students present a ‘practice’ literary essay as one of the three pieces required for assessment of this standard. The requirements for the externally assessed 90377, 90378 and 90379 (Read, study and analyse extended written texts / short texts / visual and oral texts) are quite different from the requirements of 8825:  Criteria: there is only one criterion for the external literature standards (as compared with four criteria for 8825)  Reading versus writing: 90377, 90378 and 90379 assess the ‘analysis’ of the text and the standards are derived from the Close Reading, Exploring Language and Thinking Critically threads of the Reading strand of the Curriculum, with only ‘links’ to transactional writing. 8825, however, is derived solely from the Transactional Writing achievement objectives in English in the New Zealand Curriculum and as such focuses on the development, sequencing and supporting of ideas, the crafting and structure of writing and technical accuracy.  External versus internal: 90377, 90378 and 90379 are assessed externally, where there is limited time and provision for drafting, editing and proof-reading. 8825, however, is expected to be crafted, edited and proof-read.  Exemplars: The samples of student work available for the externally assessed standards are not appropriate as exemplars for this internally assessed standard for the reasons stated above. Teachers are, instead, referred to the exemplars contained in the assessment resources (site references at the top of this page) and the samples presented below. The performance criteria:

1.1: Writing develops idea(s) There are two components to this criterion: a) The establishment of a clear idea or focus for their essay. Sometimes writers will choose an appropriate topic and assemble useful and interesting material but unless the specific purpose of the essay has first been established, the essay will be insufficiently focused. b) The development of the central idea by ‘teasing out’ the issue so that specific aspects of the argument can be individually addressed.

1.2: Ideas are logically developed, sequenced, and supported by relevant details and/or examples. a) ‘logically developed, sequenced’ requires the deliberate building and progression of the argument. The writer must think of the reader when organizing the various components of the essay so that there is a clear flow to the main argument of the essay. b) ‘supported by relevant details and/or examples’ means that the points or argument of the essay must be supported with appropriate evidence for the statements made in the body of the essay. The type of evidence provided will depend on both the form and the purpose of the essay: a quotation from a relevant text or person, an example or reference to a relevant event or situation, statistical data or information.

1.3 Conventions of chosen form are observed and are appropriate to the purpose of the writing. Conventions refers to the style and the structure of the essay. The range statement gives some examples, “text organisation, use of different sentence structures, paragraphs, use of different language features, literary devices; observing conventions may include deliberately subverting them”. It is important that the style and the structure are appropriate to the specific purpose and form of the essay: a report, a review, a literary essay and a feature article are quite different in terms of the normal ‘conventions’ associated with these text types. Teachers should note that in the samples of student work presented for moderation of this standard, the weakest aspect of writing is generally the crafting of the writing.

1.4 Final product is crafted to publication standard. The range statement clarifies the crafting areas as “technical accuracy in spelling, punctuation, and syntax”. Publication standard means “crafting is sufficient so that the writing could be published in a class or school newspaper or magazine with a few minor alterations”. Note that the standard required for accuracy and crafting in this standard is “identical to achievement level for 2.2 (90376) conventions criterion: "use writing conventions accurately" (page 4, national moderation report, 2008).Reference should be made to the following sites for further clarification of accuracy.

 Annotated samples of student work for 8825  Annotated samples of student work for 90376.

 Clarification document for writing

Samples of student work Samples of student work which meet the standard required for Credit can be found:  as part of the three internal assessment resources produced for 8825  as part of the four internal assessment resources provided for the transactional writing.

The following is an example of a research report, in a different format, which also meets the standard required for Credit.

Reasons why this work does meet the standard for Credit: 1.1 The ideas of ‘sister cities’ are sufficiently developed. The introduction and the points raised in the body of the work are linked to this focus. 1.2 The ideas are sufficiently sequenced and supported: the headings and sub headings are appropriate and both facts and opinions have been presented as appropriate. 1.3 The structure and the style (conventions) are appropriate: the work is introduced and concluded in a manner appropriate for the conventions of a report of this type , the sections are appropriately short and the style is sufficiently formal in tone, as appropriate for the audience for whom it has been written. 1.4 The essay generally meets the requirement for accuracy: random errors are acceptable.

Sister City Report:

1. Terms of Reference The honourable Mayor Tracy Hicks has commissioned this report to investigate Sister City relationships and find ways to strengthen the bonds of these relationships, particularly ways to capture the interest of young people.

2. The Beginnings The idea of having a sister city in another country or area is relatively new. The history of sister cities is interesting (see section 2.1 below) with important aims (see section 2.2 below) many of which still apply today.

2.1 History The concept of sister cites can be linked to a scaled up version of a pen pal scheme, in which the pals are whole cities or towns. The practice of pairing towns or cities was developed in Europe after the Second World War as a way of bringing European people into a closer understanding of each other and promoting cross-border harmony. The practice was known as twinning and become very popular. The idea of town twinning took hold in America where they derived a new term for the concept, Sister Cities.

2.2 Aims The concept of having a Sister City in another country or area originated in the aftermath of the second World War in a time of political turmoil where countries were very suspicious of each other. The aim of having a Sister city was to build an understanding between countries. It was believed that people would be more open and accepting of other cultures and that they would help loosen political tensions. Sister Cities also aimed to help develop enduring networks of communication between the towns and cities of the world and to cut across the boundaries of race, culture and gender. They aim to reduce the likelihood of tension and rising conflict among nations.

3. Review of Current Situation During my research of Sister City relationships I have found several areas of the current situation to be of interest. In particular Social activities (see section 2.1 below) and economics (see section 2.2 below)

2.3 Social Activities All towns enjoy social activities which distinguish their character and enhance the unity of the region. As the Report was issued by the Gore mayor I will look at areas of social activities that specifically affect Gore and therefore its relations with sister cities. These include country music festivals (see section 2.1 .1 below) and country fairs (see section 2.1.2 below).

3.1.1 Country Music Festivals Gore is renowned for being the country music capital of New Zealand. These music festivals are held annually. They are a major event in the community and bring in a lot of revenue, visitors and exposure to the area. Tamworth, Gore’s sister City, is also the country music capital of its country, Australia. Gore and Tamworth's bond as Country Music capitals is a great link that brings the two towns together.

3.1.2 Country fairs Gore is a small town in a rural farming community. Country fairs make up a large part of the town’s identity. The annual field days are a huge event for the area. Tamworth is also part of a rural community where town fairs play a major part in community life. Because both Gore and Tamworth are rural communities they have a lot in common, making them a good sister city match.

3.2 Economics When Sister Cities are used correctly they open up huge areas for economic growth for each town or city involved in the relationship. Sister Cities are great ways for businesses to make contacts and to get a foot into new markets overseas. Sister City relationships can be used effectively to enhance the reputations of both individual firms and countries as a whole.

4 Recommendations It is important to keep the bonds of sister cities alive and strong. To do this we need to keep improving and strengthening our ties between our sister cities. From my research of sister cities I have found several areas that could improve the bonds of Sister Cities. These include exchange programmes (see section 4.1 below), Art exhibits to create awareness (see section 4.2 below), sister city music competitions (see section 4.3 below),restaurants (see section 4.4 below) and economics (see section 4.5 below).

4.1 Exchange programmes Exchanges between sister cities is a great way of strengthening ties between sister cities and exposing young people to different cultures. These exchanges could be in several different forms. Sports exchanges are a great way of exposing many people to a new culture and country. Individual exchanges that are part of competitions are also good ideas because not only do they strengthen the ties of sister cities but they acknowledge the hard work of individuals.

4.2 Art Exhibits Gore has a fantastic new art gallery. An innovative idea to help create awareness of our sister city would be to hold an art competition where entries must depict aspects of our sister city Tamworth or the relationship Gore and Tamworth share. The art work would make a great exhibit which would create awareness of our sister city links.

4.3 Sister City Music Competitions As Gore is renowned for being the Country Music Capital along with its sister city Tamworth, a music competition between the two towns would help revive the weakened bonds of our sister city relationship. These competitions could involve compositions or even a weekend taking turns alternately to be hosted in each sister city. They would be a great way to involve the youth of each town and create awareness of our sister city relationship. 4.4 Restaurants In other countries the idea of opening restaurants specialising in food from the country of their sister city has worked effectively as a means of creating awareness and strengthening the bonds of their sister city relationships. If Gore was to open a restaurant that specialised in dishes from Tamworth, it would help expose the community to another culture. Although Tamworth and Gore are very similar it would make the community aware of the ties between the two towns.

4.5 Economics The concept of using Sister Cities for financial gain is still in its infancy. It has only been over the last few years that businesses have seen the benefits of using Sister City relationships as a business opportunity. To help develop and strengthen sister city relationships more has to be done to inform businesses of the financial benefits. By doing this not only will businesses be open to new markets but they will be exposing the town to aspects of Gore and helping create awareness.

Samples of student work which do not meet the standard required for Credit can be found:  as part of the three internal assessment resources produced for 8825  as part of the four internal assessment resources provided for the transactional writing

The following is a sample of a student work which does not meet the standard and is therefore a No Credit answer. This text was based on a speech. It is acceptable for a student to present the work prepared for 90374 (2.7) as one of their three essays. A text prepared as a speech, however, needs to be re-worked to meet the requirements of a transactional piece of writing.

Reasons why this work does not meet the standard for Credit: 1.1 There are many ideas but the essay does not sufficiently develop the ideas into a coherent whole. The introduction suggests that marijuana is going to be the focus of the essay, but the argument moves on from there, consequently losing focus, in the second half of the essay. 1.2 Although there are examples given and there is a reasonable focus for each paragraph, the paragraphs are not well linked to each other. 1.3 The work is not well structured (e.g. the last two paragraphs need work) and the essay needs further crafting. The register is not appropriate for a transactional piece of writing as there are there are awkward sentence constructions. The essay moves from colloquial through an informal to a more formal range of structures, vocabulary choices and expressions. 1.4 The work does not meet the requirements for publication standard. For example, the italicised errors in paragraph one are below an acceptable level of crafting for this standard. The pattern of errors continues throughout the essay.

Drugs are a problem today in today's youth Teenagers! They are known to do some pretty crazy things. Drinking, driving and partying. So where do drugs fit into there busy, sociable lifestyle? Drugs can fit in with mostly anything. Drinking and partying are the main problem that is associated with drugs. When teenagers go out for the weekend and drink they can't control themselves in what they do or how they act. Just too fit in and look `cool' they copy there peers so they don't become a social outcast. The biggest drug concern that teenagers are doing is marijuana. Also known as weed, pot or dack. So how can we resolve the problem of teenagers being associated with drugs? What the problem is is that when teenagers get their hands on drugs it is not a good mix. The problem is also that teenagers can get their hands on it very easily and is becoming a very big issue. "Everyday misuse if drugs are harming our future work force" said by a man, Brian Easton that feels very strongly about the drugs issue in our society and how it will affect our future. The drug marijuana is used very highly in teenagers. They think its harmless, wont do anything to them or there growing bodies but it is a proven fact that it affects brain cells affecting your learning and performance at school or work, it has 2000 toxic chemicals in the drug that will stay in your body and affect you and it tears families apart. We don't want our teenagers to be affected by this. Society wants them to develop into adults with a good education. The government in New Zealand are trying to help and resolve the drug problem in teenagers but they cannot act alone. New Zealand government needs to work with the communities to address this serious issue.

So what is the big deal about drugs? It is that with doing that very small bit of marijuana it can lead on to more serious things. For example class A drugs known as methamphetamine or `E' also known as ecstasy and drugs can also lead to suicide. It is proven that for some teenagers aged between 14-19 marijuana was not good enough for them anymore and it did not give them the feeling it used to. So what do they do? They go onto class A drugs. Once teenagers get there hands on these class A drugs they start doing it and it becomes a habit and cannot stop. methamphetamine will make you loose control, twitch, see things are not there, start scratching yourself because you think something is crawling on you and your skin on your face brakes out into sores. For example a 18 year old male got himself hooked onto methamphetamine. In just under a month he was addicted and could not control his addiction. He started seeing things crawl under his skin. He tried to scratch them out leaving him with sores all over his body. The methamphetamine addiction got so bad for him he ended up committing suicide just to make it stop. If you knew someone doing drugs would you want this to happen to them? See a friend or family member suffer this way this man did?

Its just not peers that are helping them with the drugs issue. It is also the stars in Hollywood. For example Amy Winehouse snapped-by paparazzi coming out of clubs with white powder all over her nose. The head line reads "Amy Sniffs the white stuff, will she go back to rehab?" This sort of thing is in every magazine you can find. The ok! Magazine, NW and Woman's weekly. Teenagers like to read magazines. They like to look up at the stars see what they are wearing and what the fashion is. But as soon as the youth see the stars of Hollywood coming in and out of rehab for a drug addiction they think "well if they are doing it should do it too. So how can we stop this media addiction? It's all up to self control. Don't read into it and think nothing of it but teenagers think they are indestructible and can live through anything. Many stars of Hollywood have died due to drug overdose. Heath Ledger and Kurt Cobain. Is this how you want to end up? 6 feet under with a drug record to your name? If you want to look up to someone look up to some one that is a good role model and is not involved in the drugs. Drugs are not a cool thing to do as everybody says they are. The media are only putting in those pictures to get more sales for there magazine but they are also sacrificing the people that read them teaching them about drugs and making them sound like a good thing. Drugs are not a good thing to do and it should be stopped through all the media and only be taught to the teenagers through schools and give them the cold hard facts about the drugs that are around them.

So in conclusion drugs are a very serious issue in today's youth and should not be taken lightly. Communities and the government need to work together to resolve the problem of the teenagers and the drugs.

The teenagers of New Zealand are today's future and work force and will be soon leading by example for the generation to come after them so we need to help them now to resolve this issue. Teenagers need to also learn that the media is only selling those pictures to make money and that they should not buy into them. Any type of drugs are bad and anybody who is doing drugs shall get the help they need.