STRESS MANAGEMENT and Assertiveness

The Bishop of Hereford’s Bluecoat School Training and CPD Development

STRESS MANAGEMENT and assertiveness

Please refer to Part 1 ‘Teaching’ and Part 2 ‘Personal and Professional Conduct’ of the Teachers’ Standards in order to reflect on personal targets / areas for development

Please consult Training School weblink for CPD support materials and other useful booklets www.bhbs.hereford.sch.uk

Carol Rushton Assistant Headteacher Staffing & ITT The Bishop of Hereford’s Bluecoat School Tupsley, Hereford, HR1 1UU Tel: 01432 347540 E-mail: [email protected] STRESS MANAGEMENT

Experiencing the present is something most of us find extremely difficult. We waste a good part of our lives dwelling on past regrets and on fantasies of the future. When I walk or drive, I find I am often busy reviewing ideas, sorting agendas, going over options and possibilities. Then I catch myself; I realise that miles of countryside have slipped by unseen, that I am not aware of breathing the air, not aware of the trees, the breeze, the contours and colours of the land. We only have to remember we are always at the beginning. Remembering this helps us overcome our addiction to “getting ahead”. MANAGING STRESS One can greatly benefit from understanding the signs and sources of stress and in developing and sharing strategies to cope with this stress. Benefit can be gained from reading this material and / or sharing your understanding of it. A. The Signs and Symptoms of Stress

(i) The physical signs of stress . Frequent headaches . Heart palpitations . Frequent butterflies in the stomach . Chest pains . Heartburn, stomach cramps, acidic problems . Trembling . Feeling light-headed/faint . Constant colds . Allergies . Muscular pain in back, shoulders and neck . Skin irritations . Feeling sick . Sweating . Frequent visits to toiler/irritable bowel syndrome . Difficulty in swallowing

(ii) The psychological signs of stress . Being forgetful . Unable to make decisions . Lack of interest . Lack of concentration . Unable to relax . Flying off the handle . Becoming suspicious/unhelpful . Lack of confidence and self esteem . No sense of humour . Being resentful . Withdrawing into yourself

(iii) The behavioural signs of stress . Drinking, smoking and eating more . Talking, eating and walking more quickly . Fidgeting . Interrupting conversations . Being moody and off-hand, shouting, screaming, crying . Absenteeism . Accident prone . Taking less interest in your physical appearance . Being obsessive . Becoming isolated

B. The Sources of Stress

It is important to know what makes you feel stressed and why, so that you can do something about it (with some help!). There are three main sources of stress:

 Work  Home, and  The Individual

(i) Work

. Overload e.g. National Curriculum, appraisal, O.F.S.T.E.D. . Job uncertainty . Unclear responsibility . Lack of guidance/leadership . Relationships – pupils, adults, conflict . Poor communications . Bullying and harassment . Sexual harassment . Little chance to participate in decision making . Lack of encouragement from managers – feeling undervalued . Time – not enough . Resources – not enough . Salary – making ends meet . Career – lack of promotion possibilities / blocked career opportunities

(ii) At Home

. Bereavement . Moving house . Pregnancy . Illness or injury . Physical and emotional abuse . Divorce . Taking on a new job . Children leaving home . Financial problems . Separation

(iii) The Individual

Your own personality and attitude to work can be a potential source of stress. Listed are two extreme or stereotypical behaviours. Type ‘A’ behaviour – which characterises the way some people respond when faced with pressure in their working lives. This behaviour carries a high risk of stress-related diseases.

Type ‘B’ behaviour – carries less risk of stress and therefore, should be adopted and built into a part of the working day.

TYPE A TYPE B

Higher Stress Risk Lower Stress Risk

Highly ambitious Relaxed

Authoritarian Serene

Perfectionist Laid back

Highly energetic Untroubled

Frenetic Non-ambitious

Dominant Non-work orientated

Aggressive Activities are task-timed rather than clock timed Workaholic

Sense of time/urgency Philosophical

Volatile Person-centred rather than task centred

Highly conscientious Conscientious

Hyperactive Self-aware

Highly task centred Feeling centred

Type A Type B

Continuum C. Coping with Stress

(i) Individual Strategies

. Identify your stressor (see ‘A’) and either remove that stressor completely or, reduce its effect on you by adopting one of the coping strategies listed here.

. Share/discuss this source of stress with a colleague, friend, mentor. Agree on an action plan to cope positively with and reduce your level of stress.

. Develop coping strategies such as:  Asking for direct help  Learning to say ‘no’  Being assertive  Using time effectively  Learning to delegate  Using negotiation skills  Believing in yourself Developing a support network  Role playing Type ‘B’  Giving constructive feedback behaviour to others

. Develop a healthier lifestyle by:  Maintaining correct weight/eating balanced diet/avoiding or reducing foods high in sugar, salt, white flour, saturated fats and chemicals.  Reducing your intake of alcohol, caffeine and tobacco.  Taking regular breaks.  Learning to switch off – have interests outside of school.  Using relaxation techniques – from smiling more often to a relaxation session. At the end of this document, there is help regarding this point. (Appendix I).

(ii) Organisational

. Don’t work in isolation. . Make space for quiet reflection. . Do not be taken over by the role. . Find reason for pride, satisfaction and confidence (this is not being ‘big headed’!) . Accept failure and learn from it. . Use time effectively:  Be prepared to write down tasks as received.  Construct a weekly list based on order of importance.  Allot tasks to appropriate time slots during the week.  Divide lengthy tasks up into small units.  Identify sources which enable a rapid and successful completion of a task.  Try to avoid taking on more than is reasonably possibly to complete.  Check off tasks once completed.  Try to ensure that some time is left available for emergencies or nothing in particular SUPPORT GROUPS

In schools, teachers can gain much from forming support groups. An example of the aim of a support group could be for PGCE trainees or Newly Qualified Teachers to form a self-support group to assist each other in the development of classroom skills. Since the classroom is a major source of stressful situations, such a scheme is commendable. Group members could attend each other’s lessons as observers and comment constructively on each other’s methods and development. The following benefits could be received:

. Identifying skills in others . Becoming aware of pressures faced by teachers in other subjects . Becoming aware of the change in pupils’ attitudes with the subject . Being able to offer and accept advice from colleagues in a non-critical atmosphere . Having a feeling that others were interested in your work . Development of respect, confidence and trust in each other’s views and feelings related to their school work.

Support groups not only help teachers become more effective, they can also give some degree of release from stress.

This document can also be used for group work in the following way:

. Work through the signs and symptoms of stress (A) - do you experience any of these physical, psychological or behavioural signs of stress?

. Work through the list of school-based sources for stress (B). Share and discuss openly.

. Consider the list of major life events that can generate stress such as taking on a new job!! This could be on top of one of the life events listed and is significant when considering stress levels.

. Discuss the ‘Type A’, ‘Type B’ behaviours and decide where you would place yourself on the continuum from ‘Type A’ to ‘Type B’ behaviour.

. Discuss ways in which you can practise ‘Type B’.

. Work through ‘Coping with Stress’ (C) - Identify your own preferred individual strategies for coping with stress. - Share these if you wish. - Identify a typical source of stress to yourself and construct an Action Plan to cope with this stress. ACTION PLAN – MANAGING STRESS

Source of Stress How to be Managed Support/Resources Needed

Individual Strategies

Organisational Strategies

APPENDIX 1

The recommendations relating to ‘Stress Management’ can provide a valuable bank of resources from which to draw to meet the demands made on us in our work. But it is useful to know that deposits in the bank can be increased by learning and practising new skills. One of the most important of these will probably be RELAXATION. The value of practising to relax cannot be underestimated. It can be used to cope with emotional and bodily reactions in stressful situations. It is necessary to practise the relaxation exercise daily until they become effective.

EXERCISE ONE – “TWO MINUTE RELAXATION”

- Breathe evenly and calmly. - Think about relaxing your body. - Think about tension draining from your feet, legs, body, arms, neck and shoulders. - Imagine yourself surrounded by a warm light. - Notice the tension draining from your body.

EXERCISE TWO – “RELAXATION TRAINING EXERCISES”

To practise the routine it is best to lie on the floor or to sit in a position which helps you feel comfortable. Regular practice of this brief routine each day will also aid in the reduction of stress and increase the ability to cope with stressful situations.

1. Lie down on your back or sit in a chair which supports your back.

2. Close your eyes and try to block out any sounds. Think only of these instructions.

3. Think about your head. Feel the muscles in your forehead relaxing. Let any creases just drop away. Relax your eyelids. Relax your jaw. Let your tongue fall to the bottom of your mouth. Begin to breathe deeply.

4. Relax your shoulders – let your arms go loose.

5. Relax your neck – let your head roll until you find a comfortable position.

6. Think about your left arm. Tense it then relax it. Tense it again and relax it slowly. Concentrate on it from the shoulders to the tip of your fingers. Let any tension in the arm flow from your fingers. Let this arm become relaxed.

7. Do the same for your right arm.

8. Think about your left leg from the hip to the knee and from the knee to the tip of your toes. Tense your left leg and then relax it. Tense it harder and then relax it as slowly as you can. Let any tension in this leg flow from your toes. Let this leg become relaxed.

9. Do the same for your right leg.

10. Listen now to any sound from within your body – your breathing, your heartbeat, your stomach. Pick one of the sounds and focus on it. Exclude other thoughts from your mind.

11. After five to ten minutes slowly open your eyes, sit upright and stretch your arms and legs fully. These exercises might to too passive for some teachers whose feelings of tension, frustration and anger need more active ways of expression. These activities could be directed towards the important aim of becoming physically fit and then maintaining a high level of fitness by exercise.

Any exercise which makes you breathe heavily but does not cause you to get out of breath is an effective stress management technique. This means that any activity – jogging, cycling, fast walking, swimming etc. can be continued for long enough to bring pleasure and satisfaction without discomfort. There should be at least one of these exercises each day. You might find it enjoyable to begin each day with the following:

1. Circular Arm Swinging

 start with arms at side of body  swing backwards and over head stretching arms a little as you do  arms down to start position  repeat 20 times

2. Repeat by going on to toes as arms are stretched overhead

 repeat 20 times

3. Arms by Sides

 allow trunk to fall to left side until fingers touch side of knee  resume upright position  repeat 10 times  now use the same exercise to your right side  repeat 10 times

4. Arms by Sides

 Turn body to left keeping feet still until you are looking immediately behind you  Return to front position  Repeat 10 times  Now use the same exercise turning to the right  Repeat 10 times.

1. Bend knees keeping them close together with back straight and arms extended forwards – go down as far as you can, come up to a standing position.

2. Gentle running on the same spot until you have counted 200.

These recommendations can be most beneficial.

CAROL RUSHTON (Assistant Headteacher, Staffing and I.T.T) FIVE FOR ME

Chose a room where you can be quiet and before you sit have a stretch.

Sit on a chair with your back straight and supported, hands relaxed on your thighs.

1. Settling breath – Ujjayi 3 minutes. Lower the chin slightly and become aware of the sound of the breath (rather like the sound of the sea in the distance. Bring your right hand on the heart centre the left on the abdomen. Become aware of the movement of the breath under your right hand for 6 breaths, then change to the left hand for 6 breaths.

2. Savitri Pranayama Rhythmic Breath. Savitri means rhythm or harmony (3 minutes).

First settle into your comfortable breath, remember DO NOT over breathe and bring discomfort into the practice.

Now pacing yourself comfortably breathe into the Count of 6 hold for 3 Out for 6 Hold for 3

This count will help to balance the emotions.

3. Sama vritti Pranayama Balancing

3 minutes

Hold 4

b/i 4 b/o 4

Hold out 4

Always settle into your comfortable breath first then do 10 rounds of the 4 square, use the visualisation of the yellow square with the elephant, which represents being earthed, stable and balanced. ASSERTIVENESS AND ATTITUDE BILL OF RIGHTS

The right to consider your own needs

The right to be treated as an equal

The right to ask

The right to an opinion

The right to disagree

The right to refuse

The right not to understand

The right to make a mistake

The right to choose

The right to change your mind

The right to express your feelings

The right to be assertive

YOU HAVE THESE RIGHTS AND SO DO OTHERS You Have A Right To Say ‘No’

Saying ‘No’ Is not selfish, uncaring or mean

Saying ‘No’ Does not have to be rude or abrupt

Saying ‘No’ Over little things is not petty

Saying ‘No’ Does not have to make people feel rejected

We often agree to do something to please others, without considering ourselves.

When a request is made it is useful to GIVE YOURSELF TIME.

Say “I’ll let you know” or

“I’ll think about it”

When you say “no” you don’t need to pad with excuses or excessive apologies, this weakens your answer.

CLEARLY refuse, giving reason if necessary e.g.

‘No, that arrangement would not suit me’ ‘No, it is not convenient, perhaps you could give me more notice in future’

It is not useful to hover around feeling guilty after your refusal.

Check that your body language is positive. Think of a situation when you have said yes when you would have preferred to say no. Given the same situation, how would you handle it now?

SITUATION HOW I WOULD HANDLE IT NOW GIVING CRITICISM

Criticism should be constructive and used to put things right.

Good criticism is an assertive way to bring about change.

STEPS TO TAKE

1. Know what you want to say and why.

2. Choose the right place and time, if possible.

3. Calm yourself. Check that body language is positive.

4. Comment on the situation, not the person.

5. Be specific.

6. State how you feel.

7. State what changes you would like to take place.

8. Give the opportunity to express his/her opinion.

9. If necessary, be willing to compromise.

10.Discuss what you have agreed. GESTURES AS A SIGN OF UNCERTAINTY, DOUBT OR DISHONESTY

Hand covering or partially covering the mouth, nose or eye, touching gestures may be a disguised version of the mouth guard. If the person speaking uses this gesture it may indicate a lie, doubt or uncertainty of what he is saying. If he uses these gestures whilst you are speaking he may doubt what you are saying, feel uncertain or feel that you are lying. The liar often avoids eye contact whilst speaking.

Gestures Showing Anxiety

A person feeling anxious may put fingers to the mouth, show tension in the face by frowning, tightening of lips or shoulders. Forming a barrier by folding arms and crossing legs, can also be a defensive gesture. The person may pick imaginary bits off clothing, showing anxiety or insecurity.

Gestures Showing Relaxed Attitude, Interest

Open gestures such as uncrossed arms and legs, being seated well back into the seat of the chair but maybe leaning slightly forward at times when there is a need to show concern or empathy help people to feel at ease. A relaxed approach will have a positive effect on the person one is communicating with.

Gestures Showing Irritation, Impatience, Boredom

Foot tapping, finger drumming, looking away from someone crossing arms and legs, yawning, looking at watch, sitting on edge of chair, feet pointing to door.

The Benefits of a Relaxed Attitude

When communicating, be it within a group, a relationship, or negotiating an arrangement it is most useful to be calm and relaxed. You will appear approachable, comfortable, and in control.

Relaxation – improved circulation lowers pulse rate lowers blood pressure improves concentration and memory releases Beta Endorphins, natural healer and pain killer

Physical relaxation creates mental relaxation.

Mental relaxation creates physical relaxation. To bring about immediate relaxation;

 Take three slow, deep breaths

 Become aware of the five points of the body to encourage relaxation:

Eyes Jaw Line Shoulders Hands Tummy

As you think about these points, they will automatically relax. You feel calmer, will be able to think more clearly and you will appear relaxed. As you think about these points, they will automatically relax. You feel calmer, will be able to think more clearly and you will appear relaxed. Areas In Which I Would Like To Be More Assertive

State the types of behaviour you believe you adopt currently

Behaviour I Currently Adopt How I Would Like To Be More Assertive Behaviour Types

NON-ASSERTIVE, passive and indirect. By being non-assertive we allow the wants, needs and rights of others to be more important than our own. This leads to lack of confidence and low self-esteem.

AGGRESSIVE, behaviour likely to violate the rights of others. By behaving aggressively we put our wants, needs and rights above those of others, wither by being directly aggressive or with indirect aggression, e.g. by manipulative behaviour.

ASSERTIVE, direct and honest, viewing ones’ rights, wants and needs as equal to those of others. An assertive person wins by listening and negotiating, so that others choose to co-operate willingly.

Give examples of the three behaviour types you have noticed in others and yourself if you wish.

1. NON-ASSERTIVE

2. AGGRESSIVE

3. ASSERTIVE