The good, The bad, and The barking dog.

Written By

Grant Sheridan Int: Danny’s bedroom: Morning:

There is a dog barking outside and his alarm is going off. Danny gets up he looks incredibly hung over, he stumbles across to the window to look out at the dog. Danny is in his early twenties, and is incredibly scruffy looking, with a scruffy short beard. He picks up a T-shirt and puts it on, but he has to search through an incredible mess in his bedroom.

Int: Kitchen: Morning:

Danny puts some bread in the toaster and puts the kettle on. There is a pile of rubbish on his kitchen table, perched on top is a note he goes over and picks it up, as this happens two people appear Good and Bad, Good and bad are wearing the same clothes, but Good is tall and clean shaven and looks well groomed, whereas bad is short and chubby with scruffy hair and all though wearing the same clothes looks nowhere as good.

Bad: That ungrateful whore has broke up with you .

Good: Don’t think that, you have taken advantage of her, she does say this in the letter.

Bad: Of course she would say that, she was constantly taking advantage of you. You’re a fool and you have been taken for a ride.

Good: Come on, give her a call, maybe you can sort things out.

Bad: What is there to sort out. You are a bachelor again. Young, free and single. Get on the phone, call the boys and get on it tonight.

Int: Front room: Afternoon:

Danny storms into the room looking distraught. He is frantically searching his front room for his phone, throwing up all the empty takeaway boxes in search of his phone, he eventually finds it stuck down the back of the sofa he picks it up and dials.

Bad: You pussy, you weak pussy.

Danny: Michelle.

Michelle instantly hangs up realising who it is, so Danny picks up and dials again.

Danny: Michelle, please hear me out. What is it you want me to do, I will do anything.

Danny starts walking back and forth in the front room occasionally touching his head in disbelief, he is constantly moving and never still.

Bad: Don’t take that, she’s a whore, why is it you who has to change? Why cant she?

Good: If you love her change is a small price to pay.

Bad: If she loves you, she would accept you for who you are, wouldn’t she? Just hang up you don’t need her.

Good: Don’t hang up, hear her out, maybe you have taken advantage of her, just stay calm, remember a relationship is a two way thing ,so it cant be all her fault, can it?

Bad: Exactly it’s a two way thing, so why is it you who is getting the blame for everything?

Danny: Ok, calm down, I’m sorry please give me another chance, and I promise I will make things up to you.

Danny stops walking and starts to look less worried.

Danny: Ok, Ok, why don’t you come back and we can talk things over?

Danny looks incredibly nervous with what is being said by her, whilst this goes on Bad has his head in his hands and is shaking it in disbelief, whilst Good is giving him the thumbs up with approval.

Danny: I promise you won’t regret this.

Danny puts the phone down, A smile on his face. He sits down smile still in tact, and contemplates what he is about to do. Good and Bad sit down next to him.

Bad: No, but I bet you will, you have just had an ear bashing down the phone, and now you are going to get one in person, are you a glutton for punishment?

Good: Don’t look at it like that, you just have to impress her, show her that you are capable of change, tidy the house up, show her you are not scared of hard work, and that you are willing to pull your sleeves up and muck in.

Danny begins to tidy the house, he gets a bin liner and starts to pick the empty take away boxes up.

Bad: Danny what are you doing? When did you become such a pussy?

Good: You are not being a pussy, you are being a real man, bite the bullet and get on with it and you can be with the woman that you love.

Bad: Is it love? Or has your pride just been hurt? You really haven’t thought this through have you? You are only changing because she has gone, you weren’t that concerned when you were out on the piss last night, I seem to recall you even getting a few phone numbers.

Good: That’s not the point. You have seen the error in your ways, and you are changing for the better. Bad: You are making yourself a doormat, she’s coming round now, so you may as well let your side of the story be heard, you cant let this lie, you are not in the wrong, why are you making all the sacrifices?

Good: How do you know she hasn’t made any sacrifices, you haven’t been paying any attention to her, have you?

Bad: Bullshit, even if you have neglected her, she’s gone now you should move on, she’s made her bed and you should let her lie in it. Show her that you don’t care any more, and let her see what she is missing out on. I honestly don’t think this is about love, I’d say its another case of a bruised ego.

Danny goes to get the Hoover, as he walks Bad is in front of him trying to push him back, as he is doing this good is trying to push him forwards egging him on.

Int: Bathroom: Evening:

Danny has just had a Shower, his hair is damp, he has shaving foam all over his face. He is looking at himself in the mirror, All of a sudden Good and bad appear. He just looks at himself.

Bad: You know she’s a whore but you still want her back. Do you remember how you met her? She was hardly a classy bird. How many of your friends had she shagged?

Good: Maybe that was the case, but you brought the best out of her. You changed her for the better, now you are changing yourself for the better.

Danny starts to shave his beard off.

Bad: You have got your principles muddled up Danny boy, its you who should come first not her, she’s a whore, whores have no rights. Good: Thoughts like that shouldn’t even cross your mind.

Bad: But they do don’t they? You know she’s a slag don’t you? I think you should call her and tell her to go and fuck herself.

The doorbell rings and Danny looks excited, he wipes the remaining shaving foam from his face, he rubs his hair frantically into some shape.

Int: Hallway: Evening:

Danny runs down the stairs and gazes into the mirror, playing with his hair again, he looks at himself and nods with nervous anticipation, not knowing what will happen. He opens the door to an older women, she is in her thirties, she has long peroxide hair, she is quite chubby and her clothes look a size too small.

Danny: You alright babe.

Michelle: Don’t you fucking babe me, let me in.

Danny: Sure, so where have you been.

Michelle: Just about.

Danny: Oh, would you like a cup of tea.

Michelle: Your answer to everything.

Danny: That a yes then.

Michelle glares at Danny angrily, Danny smiles nervously and leaves to get tea.

Int: Kitchen: Evening: Danny sets two cups up, and places tea bags into them, he puts water into the kettle and starts to boil, he sits at the newly tidied table with his head in his hands, Good comes and sits opposite him looking at him empathetically, while Bad hangs is arms around him jokingly.

Bad: Well ain’t things going well? You got her right were you want her haven’t you? You are going to be married with children soon,

Bad stands back and looks upon him angrily for what he is allowing him self to take.

Bad: (cont) you are such a fucking suck up. You should go in there and kick her head in.

Good: What is that going to achieve? She is here now, just keep it calm, and see what you can get from the situation.

Danny gets up and Bad sits himself down in his chair, Danny proceeds to make the tea.

Bad: (Sarcastically) The only thing I can see you getting from the situation is angry.

Danny slowly walks back to the front room with the tea’s in hand.

Int: Front room: Evening:

Danny hands Michelle her tea, she looks at him with disgust barely able to keep eye contact

Danny: There you are.

Michelle: I see you have tidied up..

A smile creeps across Danny’s face with triumph

Michelle: You’re a reformed character we should get married.

The Smile is instantly taken back, Danny’s expression shows despair.

Danny: Come on I’m making an effort give me a chance.

Michelle: Look, Danny I don’t want you to think you have got a chance, I only came back here to pick my things up.

Danny: What?

Michelle: There is no chance of us getting back together, I loath you.

Danny: Loathe?

Michelle: Yes you repulse me, at first I could live with it, but you are slowly driving me to insanity.

Danny: Please, I have changed.

Michelle: What since last night, I don’t think so Danny.

Michelle gets up and leaves for the bedroom. Danny falls back into the sofa and places the tea on the side, he leans back in disbelief.

Bad: Danny, get your self together, stop sucking up, you don’t have much more time to keep your pride. Go up those stairs and drag her down by her hair and kick her out of this house.

Int: Bedroom: Evening:

The dog is barking outside, Michelle is packing her things, Danny slowly enters and slumps himself upon the bed leaning towards her back. The room is clean from what it had earlier looked like. Danny: Please.

Michelle: Are you retarded, leave me in peace so I can pack up my things and fuck off.

Danny: I love you.

Michelle: Look there’s another person, no matter what you say there is no chance of us getting back together, he’s got a career, and a nice house, not on a shitty council estate. I’m moving in with him today.

Danny quickly straightens himself up alert that there isn’t much he can do for the remainder of this situation.

Danny: Who is it?

Michelle: Dave.

Danny: Dave, Dave?

Michelle: Yea.

Danny: Dave, who drinks in the old palace.

Michelle: Yes.

Danny: You know he was on trial, for beating up that Asian fella, err, Sanjay.

Michelle: Yea.

Danny: And you say I repulse you? Are you off your fucking rocker, he is a racist thug.

Michelle: He isn’t. He’s a real nice bloke once you get to know him.

Danny: (sarcastically) Yea I’m sure Sanjay whose laying up in a coma after having his skull caved in agrees with you.

There is a long awkward silence between the pair, Michelle leaves the room and Danny falls onto his back with his head in his hands Good and Bad appear in the room Bad is going through the draw that Michelle has just cleared out, while Good sits next to Danny and places his hand upon his leg reassuringly.

Bad: Well, you should of definitely given her a slap, I told you she was a whore but you wouldn’t listen would you? How’s your ego?

Good: At least you tried, that’s all that matters, you can now move on, knowing that you tried to mend things.

Bad: You know she must have been cheating on you don’t you? She wouldn’t be moving in if she met him today would she?

Good: Maybe it’s a coincidence.

Bad: Fuck that, she’s a slut and you know it.

Danny jumps up and storms over to the window, he pulls back the curtain and looks out.

Danny: Why won’t that fucking dog stop barking.

Good: Come on you know its only a dog, that’s what they do, they bark, just calm down.

Bad: Yea they bark, but that mutt has been going at it all day, if the owner isn’t going to take care of it. I think you should.

Danny returns to the bed and sits back down starting to calm down a bit.

Good: Don’t be stupid, give the dog a break, it could be ill or anything.

Bad: Nobody has given you a break why should you allow any one, or anything a break?

Good: Come on you are just passing your anger from Michelle on to this dog, you really don’t need to do anything.

Bad: You have been taking advice from him all day and where has it got you? You are down a girlfriend and you are incredibly pissed off. Go on go out and give that dog a good kicking, I promise you will feel better for it.

A sinister look crosses Danny’s face, he slowly stands up and walks over to the door.

Int: Kitchen: Evening:

The dog is barking louder than before Danny starts to search through all of the kitchen draws slowly and calmly.

Good: Come on what are you going to gain?

Bad: Fuck it, I say do it. Teach that cunt of a neighbour to take care of his dog.

Good: You really shouldn’t take your anger out on innocent people.

He leaves the draws and walks over to a knife rack, his hands slowly pass over all of the knives he stops onto the largest one.

Bad: That’s it, that’s the one, look how big it is, that’s not going to have any trouble cutting that mutt up, is it?

Good: Danny calm down, have a tea and think things over first.

Bad: Don’t do that, its time to act, I think there has been enough thinking today.

Danny coolly and calmly walks out of the back door at the kitchen, appearing to be a completely different person in his mannerisms, he jumps over the next door neighbours fence, and the barking stops and Danny enters the kitchen again and walks to the sink.

Bad: Now, how do you feel? Good? I bet there has been a lot of tension released.

Good: What have you achieved? Nothing, doing this hasn’t got your girlfriend back, has it made you feel better?

Danny starts to wipe the blood from the knife, he picks up a t-towel and dries it he washes the remaining blood down the sink. He still remains cool not phased with what he has done

Bad: So what, maybe you don’t feel better but at least that mutt has shut up, and you can here yourself think.

Danny, Good and Bad all turn to look out of the kitchen window as they hear a scream from the neighbours garden. Bad has a sinister smile across his face, while Good looks at him agitated, it still hasn’t hit Danny and he remains quite relaxed.

Good: What are you going to do now, you’re a murderer. Bad: Don’t worry yourself, things always manage to sort themselves out.

Danny walks back to the knife rack and puts it back into its place.

Good: This is different, you could go to jail. And you knew that his dog is all he had since his wife died, why would you do something so cruel?

Bad: Don’t feel guilty, if he loved it he wouldn’t have left it outside barking.

The doorbell rings Danny suddenly realises what he has done, he slowly and nervously starts to walk to the door, Bad is looking at him with a smile on his face, while Good has the same nervous look that Danny has.

Int: Hallway: Evening:

Danny slowly opens the door to a distraught elderly man. The old man has tears slowly falling down his face, while Danny looks at him in disbelief.

Neighbour: Danny, Some one has killed Lucy, you haven’t seen anything have you? I’m devastated, she’s all I had since my Gloria was taken away from me.

Danny looks at the old man, still not knowing how to comfort him.

Neighbour: She was going to have puppies in a week or so, she was the one thing that kept me going.

The old man slowly puts his head down into his hands and lets out a full cry, as this happens Good and Bad appear either side of Danny.

Good/Bad in sync: You’re on your own now. END