A Dozen Or So Answers to Homosexuals and Those Who Want to Understand

I Cor 6:9-10 A dozen or so answers to homosexuals and those who want to understand

9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

What a surprise; Rosie ODonnel is gay.

It wasn’t a big surprise when Rosie Odonnel announced she was gay. Why, because she was boisterous and rude and not very gentle. Obvious masculine traits.

It wasn’t a surprise when Ellen Degeneres announced she was gay because she always wore pants and cut her hair short.

It wasn’t a surprise when Elton John announced he was gay, because you don’t get more flamboyant than him outside of fictional characters like Jack McFarland from Will and Grace. By the way, the actor who portrays him Sean Hayes came out last year as well.

Adam Lambert seemed pretty obvious too. “What do you want from me?”

Stereotypes.

But what about Richard Chamberlain, leading man in dozens of movies and tv shows. What about Neil Patrick Harris? Ian Mckellan, Rupert Everett.

These men seemed like real men. I mean let’s be real. Richard Chamberlain was the teen heartrob as Dr. Kildare. He was Jason Bourne in the original Bourne identity. He was in the Three Musketeers and he was Alec Quartermain in King Solomon’s mines and others. Ian McKellan was Gandalf and Magneto Neil Patrick Harris is the womanizing single man in How I met your mother.

None of these guys looks or acts like Kurt on “Glee.” None of these guys seems particularly deranged, out of touch with reality, overtly effeminate. None of them lisp or travel in packs looking for innocent heterosexual men that they can have their way with.

I am afraid that our children are growing up in the most confused world I can imagine. We have extreme fundamentalists holding up “God hates gays” signs, we have extreme gay activism equating homosexuality with race, and we are left with choosing one of these two extremes or many of us who are sure we are somewhere in the middle but refuse to talk about it, refuse to be educated, refuse to stand up for anything, refuse to have convictions, refuse to offend, refuse to give hugs to homosexuals or allow our lesbian niece to come to Thanksgiving dinner. 2

We don’t have a clue what to think. So . . . how should we think?

This week I want to follow up from last week’s sermon with a list of questions that I see most commonly in the world. I want to do my best to answer these questions as neither an extreme liberal or an extreme conservative, but as a “trying-my-best-to-come-from-a-balanced-Christian- perspective” pastor.

I emphasize pastor, because I don’t come with brilliant academics and probably can’t answer all of your specialized questions, but I can speak to some issues and I can call Christians everywhere, especially in Poolesville, to repent of wrong actions and attitudes towards people who are different than them.

So let me just take the questions in order:

1) Do Christians really think homosexuality is a sin?

The answer to this needs a little bit of nuancing. First, I can’t pretend to speak for all Christians everywhere. That would be arrogant. I can tell you though, that I can speak for myself and I can base what I believe in experience, tradition, reason and backing all of those things, and ultimately in the Bible itself. So, since this is a sermon, a strange one though it may be for me, I hope it’s okay to use Scripture to support my thinking throughout. Oh, who am I kidding, I don’t care if you think it’s okay or not. So let me put it another way. I AM going to use Scripture here and there to support what I say.

Even this is a bit weird. Starting with a topic and saying what I think and then using Scripture to support it. This goes against everything I think of a sermon. A sermon should be a proclamation of Christ’s Lordship and should be from a text, “expositorally,” “expositionally” (I know these are not words) laid out. So bear with me as I experiment with a different methodology.

So back to the question. Is being gay a sin?

To answer that I have to first ask a second question

2) What do we mean by the word “gay?”

Really, as Christian thinkers we need to be more clear in our terminology so that we can be fair to our interlocuters.

I think Mark Yarhouse’s book entitled Homosexuality and the Christian: A Guide for Parents pastors and friends is a huge help in many areas, but especially in this. We must be able to distinguish between same sex attraction, homosexual orientation and gay identity.

So, same sex attraction—highly descriptive but merely describe their physical and emotional attraction. Homosexual orientation—same as before but it is something that persists over time and is highly significant. 3

Gay identity—a way of defining oneself by a single attribute and then adopting a set of attitudes and behaviors that correspond with how our culture defines “gay.”

Very simply, people may find themselves attracted to people of the same sex (what I call same sex attraction). They didn’t mean to, they didn’t want to. It may even last for more than a few months, it’s more than a phase (orientation). Neither of these is a sin.

I can’t even finish my answer to this without opening up a third question

3) What causes homosexuality?

Isn’t this the natural next question? Isn’t the whole Christian argument against homosexuality based on the belief that it is learned behavior and they just need to unlearn it?

I realize that might be where many of you are coming from, but I think this answer usually stems from ignorance.

Some of you know that before I took this job, I flew out to Minnesota to Bethel Seminary to be interviewed for their open professorial position in Biblical Studies. I met in the President’s private office and he asked me three questions.

1. He asked me what I thought about open theism. Greg Boyd had left an indelible mark on the school and he had some concern with continuing that battle 2. He asked whether I smoked a pipe, which I did and he requested that I not smoke on campus 3. He asked how I felt about homosexuality. My answer was uninformed and ignorant. I simply said, I disagree with it.

He then, with grace and wisdom gave me a better answer. He said, whether it was nurture or nature at the cause, we can disagree with the act of homosexuality, without debating the cause.

Basically, Christians should not be so close minded that we believe that homosexuality is . . .  ONLY caused by parents letting little boys wear their sequined shoes or putting on makeup,  we shouldn’t believe that ONLY sexual abuse leads to homosexuality,  we shouldn’t believe that ONLY abandonment from one or the other parent and hence no appropriate male or female role mode leads to same sex attraction…  we shouldn’t hold to a “nothing but” attitude.

Now don’t get me wrong. I fully believe these things contribute towards a tendency toward attraction to the same sex. This needs to be taken more seriously in the scientific debate, but from what I have read and heard, this doesn’t account for everything. Christians need to approach this with humility and admit that being an “etiology agnostic” is okay. We can honestly say we don’t know all the causes of homosexuality. 4

We can be humble and ignorant and still have a stance on homosexuality.

So back to the original question: Is homosexuality a sin?

The answer to this was the subject of my entire sermon last week. The answer is that God created a perfect world and created everything to give him glory. He created good gifts so that we could enjoy them and from them give glory to God. But when we fell, everything got messy. Everything that was designed to point to God, started being used to make us happy by terminating in themselves, in our happiness in that which made us happy. No longer in God. So the gift of sex was no longer used how it was designed. It started to be used for its own sake, for our happiness outside of God. So sex got broken. And people abused it. They abused it with orgies, and animals and same sex partners and out of marriage partners.

So the answer is, yes the ACT of homosexuality is a sin. Same sex attraction is simply a part of the curse. It’s the world broken. Just as my desire for certain amazing women on tv is a part of the curse. My job as a screwed up Christian in a cursed, but being restored, world is to conquer my temporary desires in favor of God’s design for me.

I am not a big fan of Rick Warren, but he was on a talk show in Dec of 2008 with Ann Curry interviewing him on this subject and she asked him, and I paraphrase “if science determined that there was a gay gene, that it was innate and not learned, would he still hold that same sex sexual activity was wrong.” He said he still would. She couldn’t understand. His answer is still one of the best I have heard. “Why do we for some reason think that because something is biological we don’t have to rein in our biological impulses? It may indeed be the way we are but we must rein this in. I want to have sex with every beautiful woman who walks by, but no one would argue that because this is biological I should go ahead and do it.”

His point, and mine, is that biology in this cursed world is not an argument for acting on what comes naturally. So I would say even though same sex attraction may continue for a long time, maybe even forever, that we should rein in our actions, that is what maturity is about.

4) Animals do this so its natural

There are certain species of animal that do this. Its natural. But follow this out. Some species of animals eat their husbands after they are impregnated. Hippos will sometimes try to kill their sons because they fear that they will grow and become powerful and take over the heard. No one says well this is in marriage, so let’s all do it.

Besides if what is natural is our eye to what is good, we are all in real trouble: 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. (Gal 6:8 NIV)

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 5

6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. (Col 3:5-6 NIV)

But even this homosexuality in nature is a fringe. Otherwise it would die out. So these are exceptions to the natural rule.

A word about the always controversial question regarding whether we can change our orientation

5) Can someone stop being gay?

Let me answer that by quoting Col 1:21-2.

21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation-- (Col 1:21-22 NIV)

I think the answer is yes. I think many statistics shows that many people have stopped being gay. Now remember our distinction on what being gay means. I am not necessarily saying that their entire orientation has completely changed. That one day they liked the same sex and the next day they liked the opposite. My guess is that even those who have “Changed” have struggles. Even those who are happily married with children, probably still struggle from time to time, maybe often.

In fact, I think knowing this is key to not harming people in encouraging them to change. Instead of just buying the gay communities propaganda that if they tried and it doesn’t work, it’s obvious that it is unchangeable. But we can actually have grace and patience and help them along. We are helping them mature as they help us mature in another area. We don’t spank infants that while trying to stand up, fall back down. We help them up and encourage them again. We are all infants in some area and need help.

I am simply saying that people can choose not to act on their desires. The same way all of us stay in monogamous relationships and the same way I suppress the urge to fudge on my taxes and not pick up that cigarette. It’s hard, granted, probably much harder than my struggles, but it is possible.

I say it is possible, because Scripture seems clear that it is sinful and it seems clear that you can conquer it with Christ’s power.

I think Scripture does mention this:

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13 (KJV)

Ephesians 4:21-4 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 6

and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

So we hear Paul, but what about Jesus. He never mentions it, right? It can’t be that bad if he never even mentions it.

6) Jesus didn’t say anything about homosexuality so it must be okay?

This is an argument from silence. Jesus doesn’t say anything about idolatry or computer porn or bestiality or incest either.

And we need to be careful not to put Jesus’ words above those of other authors. Remember that we don’t have Jesus’ exact words, we have gospel author’s versions of his words (hence different wording from different gospels). Inspiration means that Paul’s words are every bit as important as Jesus words.

But let’s not give in to quickly: Matthew 15:18-20 18 But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' " (Mat 15:18-20 NIV)

This word “sexual immorality” is porneia and includes all kinds of sexuality that goes against God’s design (Which I spent all of the last sermon describing to you)

7) What is the response to homosexuality and homosexuals?

Let me be as clear as I can about this. You may have heard it said that God hates the sin, but loves the sinner.

This is an inadequate sentiment. God does indeed hate the sin, but hear me and hear me clearly— he does indeed hate the sinner as well.

NIV Psalm 5:5 The arrogant cannot stand in your presence; you hate all who do wrong. (Psa 5:5 NIV)

Now don’t leave yet, with half the story. Those who sin are not welcome in his presence, there is no love there. He hates the wicked. 1 Cor 6:9-11 NIV

9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 7

10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

These are wicked sins and wicked people and God hates them, according to Psalm 5, BUT this is not the end of the story.

11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

What is God’s response to homosexuals and to gossips and to cheaters and to people who ignore his commands? He reconciles them to himself by purifying them in the blood of Christ.

So when we see people who are sinners…who aren’t repenting of their sins, we are to see them with compassion and call them to Christ. We are to walk beside them, never condoning what they do, but always pointing them to Jesus. We don’t expect them to change their behavior until they meet Christ and then we walk beside them and help them to change their sinful habits.

I haven’t had to break any homosexual habits, but I have had to consider my response. I used to lead a Bible Study for about 50 singles in Derwood and I regularly made joking and even hurtful comments. They weren’t designed to be mean, just funny. I would act all dainty and talk with a lisp. One of the single adults approached me one day and told me that she had a friend that she wanted to bring to the Bible Study but she felt she couldn’t because he was gay. I didn’t understand. I was happy to invite anyone to Bible Study, but she explained that my actions didn’t support my words. I changed instantly.

I think also sometimes pastors contribute to stereotype and ignorance by making it seem like masculinity only includes people who work with their hands or shoot guns.

Masculinity is more than working with a chainsaw or shooting a deer. I mean really, what is manly about feeding a deer salt or some kind of food for months and then sitting up in a tree and popping them. I like what Mark Chandler says here. If you want to be a real man, strip naked in the snow and chase down the deer and bite it to death. That’s manliness.

Seriously, we need to find a balance. Stop buying into the world’s stereotypes. My mistake in the masculinity sermon Don’t degrade your boy because he likes to…paint, or sing, or dance or anything in your warped world means that he is acting like a girl. Maybe then he will think, maybe I am more like a girl.

Being a sensitive man is not being less of a man. Maybe you can keep your boys from buying a pink and purple bike while still allowing them to wear a dress for a costume.

The big Picture (summary of last week) God created us that we might have joy in him 8

We were traitors to this cause finding joy in stuff instead, and in broken sexual relationships He sent his son to point us back to true joy We can overcome our sinful desires with his strength

Gospel.