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The Precis + Drafting Paper 1: examples that Use Rifkin as Model

Melissa Watson & DRWS

Table of Contents

The Rhetorical Précis 2

Templates for the Rhetorical Précis 3

Student Model Paragraphs: Samples of the Rhetorical Précis 4

Paper 1: Sample Student Introduction Using Rifkin 5

Paper 1: Sample Student Discussion of Textual Organization 6

Paper 1: Sample Student Discussion of Strategies 8 The Rhetorical Précis

Overview: In order to concisely describe the argument and context an author presents in a text, academic writers sometimes use a format called the rhetorical précis. This form is a highly structured four-sentence paragraph that highlights the essential rhetorical elements in any text. The précis includes the name of the speaker/writer(s), the context or situation in which the text is delivered, the major assertion, the mode of development or support of the main idea, the stated and/or apparent purpose of the text, and the relationship between the writer(s) and the audience. The following is a breakdown of the information to include in each of the four sentences.

SENTENCE 1 – include the following: EXAMPLE:  the name of author, Toni Morrison, a well-known  a phrase describing the author (optional), scholar in the humanities, in  the type and title of work, the date of work (inserted in her essay, “Disturbing parentheses), Nurses and the Kindness of  a rhetorically accurate verb (such as “assert,” “argue,” Sharks,” implies THAT “suggest,” “imply,” “claim,” etc.) that describes what the racism in the United States author is doing in the text, has affected the craft and  a THAT clause in which you state the major assertion process of American (thesis statement/claim) of the author’s text. novelists.

SENTENCE 2 : An explanation of how the author develops EXAMPLE: and/or supports the thesis (for instance, comparing and Morrison supports her contrasting, defining, narrating, illustrating, defining, using implication by describing humor or sarcasm, relating personal experience, depending on how Ernest Hemingway facts /statistics /opinion, etc.). Consider the author’s writes about black characters organization, use of evidence, and/or strategies used to and by illustrating his construct his/her argument. Your explanation is usually strategies for plot presented in the same chronological order that the items of development seen within his support are presented in the work. novels and short stories.

SENTENCE 3: A statement of the EXAMPLE: author’s apparent purpose, followed by Her purpose is to make her readers aware of the cruel an IN ORDER TO phrase in which you reality of racism underlying some of the greatest explain what the author wants the works of American literature IN ORDER TO help audience to do or feel as a result of them examine the far-reaching effects racism has not reading the work. only on those discriminated against but also on those who discriminate.

SENTENCE 4: A description of the EXAMPLE: intended audience and the relationship She establishes a formal and highly analytical tone the author establishes with the with her audience of racially-mixed, theoretically- audience. sophisticated readers and critical interpreters of American literature. Templates for the Rhetorical Précis Provided below are three templates you can refer to when using the rhetorical précis form. You should use these for guidance, but use your best judgment about how to form sentences appropriate to the text and/or author you write about.

1. (Author’s credentials), (author’s first and last name), in his/her (type of text), (title of text), published in (publishing info), addresses the topic of (topic of text) and argues that (argument).

2. S/he supports this claim by______, then______, and finally______.

3. (Author’s last name)’s purpose is to (author’s purpose in writing) in order to (change in reader/society the author wants to achieve).

4. He/she adopts a(n) ______tone for his/her audience, the readers of (publication) and others interested in the topic of______.

1. In the (type of text), (title of text) ((year)), author (author’s first and last name), (author’s credentials), asserts that (argument) and suggests (explanation of sub-claims or resolution).

2. S/he backs up this claim by doing the following: first, s/he ; next, s/he ; last, s/he .

3. (Author’s last name) appears to write in hopes of (author’s purpose in writing) in order to (change in reader/society the author wants to achieve.

4. Because of the author’s tone, it seems as if s/he writes for a and audience.

1. In his/her (type of text) (title of text) ((year)), (author’s credentials) (author’s first and last name) asserts that (argument) by addressing , , and .

2. By supplying the reader with information about and , (author’s last name) builds his/her claims about .

3. (Author’s name) wishes to convey to readers the importance of (author’s purpose in writing) in order to (change in reader/society the author wants to achieve).

4. The author’s audience likely consists of those interested in as is evident through his/her references to and ; s/he addresses readers with a tone that is and . Student Model Paragraphs: Samples of the Rhetorical Précis

[1] Writer and Economist, Jeremy Rifkin in his Editorial column, “A Change of Heart about Animals, published in September 1, 2003, addresses the topic of Animal Rights and behavior and argues that animals should be treated and viewed with more respect since each individual animal is so closely related to us humans. [2] He constructs this claim by introducing the idea that animals feel the same feelings that humans feel, presenting evidence that proves the animals’ behaviors to be like humans, then questioning our perceptions of animals, and challenging his readers to expand our perception and empathy to our fellow creatures. [3] Rifkin’s purpose is to illustrate the way animal behavior is similar to human behavior in order to persuade his audience to reevaluate their perception of animals and more than that, treat them better. [4] He adopts a persuasive, emotional, and unbiased tone for his audience, the readers of the Los Angeles Times and others interested in the topic of human-like animal behavior.

[1] Earl Shorris, Founder and Chairman of the Advisory Board for The Clemente Course in the Humanities, in his article, “On the Uses of Liberal Education: As a Weapon in the Hands of the Restless Poor” (1997), claims that through the teaching of humanities the poor will be able to free themselves from the forces society has on them. [2] To support his argument, Shorris does the following: first, in a narrative form he briefly introduces his background and provides information about the current study; second, he describes his research and explains how he met a woman in a correctional facility that influenced his idea for the research study; third, he describes his plan/methodology and the participants that form part of the study; and last, he explains the happenings and outcome of his study. [3] In order to help the poor reach their fullest potential through social politics and exposure of the teachings of humanities, the author wishes to convey for readers that the humanities are an essential part of life. [4] Shorris establishes an educated and inspiring article meant for educators and economically disadvantaged persons.

[1] Scholars in the field of behavior science, L. Rowell Huesmann and Jessica Moise, in their essay “Media Violence: A Demonstrated Public Health Threat to Children” (June 1996), argue that exposure to media violence stimulates aggression in children and that children should be protected from media violence. [2] The authors support their claim by making an analogy to the issue of lung cancer and cigarettes, by refuting claims made by Dr. Freedman, by providing research results that show a connection between media violence and behavior, and by describing the process of desensitization. [3] Their purpose is to make their readers aware that there is a connection between media violence and violence seen in children in order to protect all children from future violence. [4] The authors use a serious and academic tone to establish a reasoned, objective attitude toward their audience of people who are involved in academics and research, especially those concerned with behavior science and government regulations. Paper 1: Sample Student Introduction Using Rifkin

See the student example paragraph below introducing both Rifkin’s text as well as the student’s purpose for writing the essay. Notice that the student is careful to introduce all aspects of the rhetorical situation: context (situation the author writes for), author (name, background, qualifications), text (genre, publication, year), purpose (reason for writing), and audience (demographic/population the author appears to write for). In order to address the prompt for Project 1, the student is also careful to include an overview of the author’s project and argument. Last, the student provides a purpose statement which gives “purpose” to his/her essay as well as outlines the organization of his/her discussion that follows.

The student begins like For many years activists arguing against inhumane many authors by giving treatment of animals have based their arguments on research some context to the topic. investigating the negative effects imprinted on these creatures due to poor human conduct and handling. In response to this issue, Jeremy Rifkin writes "A Change of Heart about Animals," Next s/he supplies an a 2003 editorial in the Los Angeles Times. Rifkin is a well- introduction and known American economist and author of more than 15 books background information on using theories of science and economics to examine how the Rifkin and his text. economy, society, and the environment interact and transform one another. In his article, Rifkin challenges previously believed The student briefly states notions about human’s treatment of animals and calls attention to Rifkin’s project. We get this issue by revealing new research that calls into question many some insight into the of the boundaries commonly thought to exist between humans purpose of the article. and other animals. As a consequence of these findings, Rifkin argues that humans should expand their empathy for animals and Here the student provides a treat them better. Rifkin reasons that because animals can make longer explanation of the tools, develop sophisticated language skills, experience self- Rifkin’s argument awareness, and mourn the dead, they should be shown the same including an overview of empathy and treated the same way as humans. To support this main claims, utilization of argument he points to numerous studies conducted by popular evidence, and the fast food chains and prominent universities that focus on implications of his animals’ emotions, cognitive abilities, social behaviors, and argument. learned behaviors. Based on this authoritative evidence, the author seems to suggest that the U.S. is heading towards treating animals differently. As is evident from the publication and Next is a description of the intended audience. Notice Rifkin’s focus on human perceptions, Rifkin appears to write for the use of hedging with the general population in the United States, especially those “appears,” showing that the interested in social change, scientific research, and U.S. policies student is careful not to regarding animal rights. For the purposes of increasing readers’ assume his/her analysis of critical awareness of the argument constructed by Rifkin, I will audience is a certainty. analyze his text by describing the author’s claims, his use of evidence, his textual organization, and some of the rhetorical strategies he employs. The writer concludes by providing his/her purpose statement. Paper 1: Sample Student Discussion of Textual Organization

See the student example paragraph below discussing Rifkin’s strategy for textual organization.

There are many successful moves to observe in this analysis: 1. Notice that there are two paragraphs. Sometimes it is necessary to take one idea and extend your discussion for multiple paragraphs to ensure that your ideas are clear. Particularly, look at how much time is spent on commentary and analysis. 2. Notice that much of the analysis is based on macro-charting, not micro-charting. An analysis on textual organization should not merely be a list of what each paragraph does. Imagine this: In paragraph 1, Rifkin does X. In paragraph 2, Rifkin does Y….In paragraph 15, Rifkin does Z. That simplistic kind of listing isn’t focused and can sound too mechanical. Be choosy about which aspects you wish to include in your analysis. 3. Notice that this student doesn’t focus on rhetorical strategies. Because strategies are found within each section, the student could easily be tempted to discuss other rhetorical strategies that Rifkin employs in each paragraph. However, this student is careful to stick to his focus: a discussion of Rifkin’s textual organization. 4. Notice how the student guides us through the analysis: s/he mentions actual paragraphs, provides specific topic sentences, and uses transitions and metacommentary.

Although short, this topic The way Rifkin organizes his text likely lends to the sentence still signals to the overall appeal of his argument. Like most texts written in reader what the paragraph English, the argument can be analyzed as being delivered in will be about. three sections: an introduction where Rifkin contextualizes his The student begins by topic and states his main claim (paragraphs 1-3); a body section giving a broad overview of where Rifkin provides evidence supporting his argument major sections in Rifkin’s (paragraphs 4-14); and a conclusion where Rifkin questions the text, citing groups of implications of the findings revealed in the previous section paragraphs. (paragraphs 15-16). In addition to this very general chunking of paragraphs, the smaller organization choices found within each Next, we see the student section are telling of the author’s strategy for constructing his signal a transition to a argument. Some of Rifkin’s rhetorical choices worth mentioning different focus: a closer can be found in the second section, the section revealing analysis of one of the supporting evidence. Anticipating that his audience might at sections. first doubt his claim that animals are more like humans than commonly assumed, Rifkin is careful to provide evidence that is Concluding this first easier to accept early on, and then gradually reveals examples paragraph, this analysis that could prove more risqué in later parts of this section. This introduces readers to the major strategy that the way if his audience accepts the research presented first, they student will critically may also be more inclined to accept later studies that are dissect. harder to believe. Using metacommentary, this student lets the reader To exemplify Rifkin’s strategy for organizing his know what’s to come in the evidence, the different themes of evidence found in the second paragraph. section will be presented and analyzed. First, paragraphs 4-5 are dedicated to explaining how pigs need social attention (from The student references the humans or other pigs) in order to maintain mental and physical first section under health. Then, Rifkin describes the cognitive abilities of crows investigation helping the and gorillas, who, respectively, show signs of intelligence by reader to understand what making tools and by communicating through sign language part will be analyzed. (paragraphs 7-8). These examples won’t likely surprise readers too much: many of us have seen how depressed animals can get The student follows up with when they are alone, many of us can imagine how clever birds immediate analysis of these can be, and many of us have already heard about the language first two paragraphs. capabilities of gorillas. Next, however, in paragraphs 10-12 the author reveals some very human-like behaviors found in animals The student follows the including findings on self-awareness in orangutans, grief in same pattern by first elephants, and brain chemistry of rats during play time. This referencing the text, citing seems to be an intentional organizational scheme of Rifkin. It’s specific paragraphs. likely no accident that research regarding orangutans using mirrors to adjust their sunglasses and studies showing how elephants mourn for the dead come after the examples on social Again we see analysis needs and cognitive abilities of animals. These examples might following the preceding be more challenging to believe if they were the first presented to reference to the text. The readers. Furthermore, research suggesting that rats and humans analysis is constructed with inferences on why the experience similar neurochemical reactions in the brain while author likely chose to playing might be the most challenging for readers to accept, thus organize his text this way Rifkin places this example last. While readers may find it easier and speculations about how to align human behavior with orangutans and elephants, they the audience was likely may find it difficult to accept that rats share similar affected. characteristics as humans. Rifkin consciously organizes the different examples in order to slowly accustom the audience to The student ends by the controversial research he presents. The order that he places reminding readers of his/her his evidence, then, appears to be highly strategic and calculated. conclusions about Rifkin’s strategy for textual organization. Paper 1: Sample Student Discussion of Strategies

See the student example paragraph below discussing Rifkin’s strategy of using animal names, thus appealing to pathos. Notice that the focus is on how the strategy helps build the author’s argument (how it works and why the audience is affected) and we do not see the discussion of pathos until the end.

The student begins by identifying the claim that is One strategy Rifkin employs to build the argument that being supported by the animals should be treated more like humans is his subtle use of strategy in question. animal names when introducing data. When he offers new research about the problem-solving abilities of New Caledonian crows, for example, Rifkin cleverly describes how “Abel, the more dominant male…stole Betty’s hook” in order to obtain a Then, the student explains better feeding tool (Rifkin). Rifkin, of course, could have chosen the strategy Rifkin is to ignore the bird’s test-subject names – which in all likelihood, utilizing (discussing how the were arbitrarily assigned by lab technicians and remain of little author uses it) and supplies importance to the conclusions of the experiment – but by and explains numerous including them he bestows a human quality to the animals examples to help illustrate. beyond what the data suggests. He repeats this technique twice Look how much time is more to the same effect, once when introducing “Koko, the 300 spent providing an analysis pound gorilla,” who displays close-to-human intelligence and an of these examples! impressive sign language vocabulary, and again when describing an “Orangutan named Chantek,” whose use of a mirror displays human-like self awareness (Rifkin). Surely the data alone make the argument that animals are, by turns, capable of human qualities of problem-solving, communication, learning, and self- awareness. By offering the names of the test animals, though, he Finally, the student spends a imbues them with greater individuality, personality and dignity. significant amount of time providing commentary Giving the animals human names invites readers to think of them highlighting important and in terms usually reserved only for human beings. This strategy is meaningful analysis of the likely intended to play on the emotions of readers by establishing strategy in question. S/he a relationship of similarity between the animals mentioned and comments on why Rifkin ourselves. The more human animals seem, the more it follows likely chose the strategy and that they should be treated with the empathy and dignity we how/why the audience would assume all humans deserve. This appeal to pathos thus helps likely be affected advance Rifkin’s claim that we should “expand and deepen our (emotionally). empathy to include the broader community of creatures with whom we share the earth.”

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