Gay Men Are Effeminate

Gay Men

Ostensibly, homosexuality, can be defined, as applied to men, as an emotional and physical attraction to other men. Practically, the situation is not so neat. Many gay men will have had, or continue to have, a female sexual partner; some men who find pleasure in same-sex encounters will deny that they are gay. They may be married and have children and a hold high status job, conforming to the stereotype of what is "expected" of men. Thus the prospects of "coming-out" is an overwhelmingly daunting one since the male may feel that he stands to lose too much. Many reject the dichotomy between homosexual and heterosexual altogether, saying that there is no sharp division between the two, just a gradual scale of preferences. The question of whether or not there is a distinctive behavior pattern among "out" gay men is a touchy one. If there are distinctive patterns, it is probably as a result of socialization in a community rather any innate behavioral qualities of gay men. Some gay men rejecting anything that could lead to stereotyping, deny any sort of specifically gay behavior; others will accept that there is a difference, feeling that there should be as much pride in gay culture as there is in straight culture. The term "fag" has been appropriated by gay males as a parody of straight society which takes its own gender roles and sexual orientation so seriously. Gay men inside a visible gay community have many options as to how to meet sexual and romantic partners -- as many or more options as straight men and women looking for company. However, outside a recognizably gay or lesbian context, this is not usually the case. One particular means of contact, usually more prevalent among gay men, is cruising. Cruising is basically the search for a sexual partner, usually in a public place or gay establishment.

Myths Gay men are effeminate There are gay football players, politicians, actors, teachers, criminals and hairdressers. There are effeminate gays, just as there are effeminate heterosexual men. There has never been any evidence that gay men, as a group, are any more feminine or masculine than heterosexual men.

Homosexual men are child molesters This fear has always been around, and it received "official" status in 1977 when Anita Bryant led a campaign in Dade County, Florida to deny homosexuals equal rights and indeed force them back into the closets and lock the door. Her campaign was called "Save Our Children Inc." and she played on people's fears about their children's safety. Despite this, and other such hysteria, gay men are no more likely to molest a child than a straight man -- in fact, the evidence suggests that gay men are less likely to be child molesters. Of men who sexually abuse children, the majority (90%) are heterosexual men who often victimize ther own family members: daughters, step-daughters, granddaughters and nieces. The myth protects the majority of abusers: heterosexual men.

Homosexuals are unhappy, neurotic, or emotionally disturbed This myth, like many others, tries to pathologize the sexual orientation rather than seeing emotional problems, which gays, like anyone else may have, as a result of social disapproval, the possible loss of employment opportunity, and the threat of prosecution.

Gay Sex The three most common forms of sex between men is mutual masturbation, oral sex, and anal sex. It is wrong to assume that all gay men engage in anal sex. It cannot be stressed often enough that sexual practices vary widely within any "group" and assumptions should never be made. Receiving anal sex can be quite pleasurable for both men and women, but like vaginal intercourse, it may take awhile before the receiving partner feels completely comfortable with it.