Year 10 English

Exemplar - Extended Text Not Achieved

I have chose option number two which is to describe a main character in the story. I have chosen the prince of Verona as even though he appears only three times in the play is maybe one of the most important characters because he; makes the big decisions, he has a hand in the events that unfold and because he tries to be a little lenient towards the families.

Firstly, the Prince of Verona contributes to the action by always being where the death and treachery takes place in which he plays a big role by having to make the decisions and lay down the law. This is why he is the most influential character. For example when the feud between the servants of the two households takes place at the start of the text he says straight away that the next person who causes more trouble will be slain.

Secondly, he’s always there in the background of the story just waiting for someone to make a mistake and seemingly enters the story at his own will. My reasoning for this is that when Romeo slays Tybalt, even though the Prince had nothing to do with the conflict he decided to enter into the fray and banish Romeo.

Thirdly, his greatest contribution to the story is the way that he showed lenience towards Romeo when Tybalt and Mercutio are killed. This is his greatest contribution because it allows the reader to actually see some of his feelings and compassion and also because if Romeo had been killed there would have been no story.

In conclusion, the Prince’s contribution to the story is close to being the most important as he is like the puppeteer pulling all the strings and ordering things to be the way he wants it. Year 10 English

Exemplar - Extended Text Achieved

In the novel Water in the Blood by Alan Bunn Liam’s fear of water is an important challenge for him. He deals with this challenge by talking to his mother, staying calm in the situation and learning to control and go with the water.

Liam’s mothers fear of water helps Liam to get over his own fear as when Liam and his mother talk about water on their way over to Craig’s house before Liam goes on the Katipo River trip. It helps Liam to talk about his fear so he can see his mother is worried about him and he knows he can reassure her that he will be fine because he learns the skills and knows how to survive.

Staying calm is a good way to get over your fears as when Liam is canoeing down the Katipo river when the men are shooting at him he has to stay calm so he can survive and plan away out of the situation. If Liam had not of stayed calm in some situations (like the example) then there would have been costs like his friends were injured and needed to be rescued.

When you are canoeing in water you need to know how to control your canoe so you do not have an accident. Liam’s fear of water is abloshed as when he learns the skills to survive in the canoe so he can get over his fear and just go with the flow of the water like when he says ‘It’s okay though. I train hard, I learn the skills that’re needed to survive …’ to his mother when they are driving to Craig’s house. Liam knows he can survive and so the water does not hold him back.

Liams fear of water is an important challenge in the novel Water in the Blood. His fear helps him to become a stronger and more mature person. Year 10 English

Exemplar - Extended Text Merit

An important relationship in the Water in the Blood is the one between Liam and Dave. Dave had been such an influence on Liam in the past, encouraging him to do things he probably would not do normally. Then after a near accident Liam realises he does not want to keep living his life like Dave is telling him to. Dave beats him up. Near the end Liam is still loyal to Dave and doesn’t turn him in to the police, then blames himself for the consequence.

Since they became friends in Form One, Dave had changed Liam’s attitude and responsibility. He became a bully, doing what he wanted, when he wanted, often getting into trouble rarely doing homework. Despite this he still felt reluctant in his actions. For example in Chapter One the boys pull a ‘clothesline’ trick on a motorbike on the beach. “A familiar feeling of reluctance sat is his stomach, but this caper couldn’t do much harm, he thought. Soft sand to fall on.” (Liam, page 9.)

After a near accident Liam realises he does not want to keep living his life like he has been with Dave and Blair. He realises he wants to live differently and tells the truth to his parents about the van incident. This causes Dave and Blair to get angry at Liam and fight him because Liam’s parents identified them to the police. “Those boys,” said Liam, “have got one foot in the grave. They live their lives searching for thrills with vast stretches of boredom in between. I intend to live differently, and a lot longer. No. That’s it, I think.” (Liam, page 56)

Near the end of the novel Liam has the chance to turn Dave in but does not because he still remembers and feels slightly loyal to when they were friends. He did not want to betray him, even though Dave tried to beat him up several times. He lets Dave get away in his car but feels guilty he did not stop him when Daves crashes into the road block and he is killed. He blames himself for Daves death. “Then why blame yourself?” said Craig quietly. “Y’know you’ve said your going to things your way, not be led by others. Well this was Daves way. The last thrill.” (Craig, page 198)

Throughout the novel Liams friends, attitudes, interests and responsibilities change. He goes from a reckless, unresponsible, immature teenager to a mature, responsible, more adult like teenager. His relationship with Dave has made him realise he does not want to live searching for thrills and die early. It has made him realise the path he was heading down was wrong for him and allowed him to change it and have a better life. Year 10 English

Exemplar - Extended Text Excellence

In Water in the Blood an important incident is when Liam has to go for help after some of his kayaking friends are hurt. This affects him in several different ways, most importantly physically and mentally.

Firstly, an important incident in the novel is when Liam has to go for help after Mr Brixton has an accident while kayaking on the Katipo River, and Steve gets shot. Liam must go for help to rescue his injured friends, and evade the crazed cannabis growers who try and shoot him. He is successful in getting help, but the ordeal affects Liam in different ways.

Secondly, Liam is affected mentally and emotionally by the incident. He is afraid of water, but he must conquer his fear to save his friends. ‘This was a dream, or parts of all his dreams, yet part of none. In those he had been alone flying, swimming, drowning alone. Here he paddled with a group he was part of …’ This quote shows that Liam gets over his fear of the water so he can get help. He ends up a stronger person because of the incident, as he overcomes his fear of water.

Thirdly, Liam is affected physically because of the incident. He has to use his skills, intelligence, and determination as a kayaker to get past the cannabis growers who try to shoot him. Liam is determined to rescue his friends and he uses the skills he has learned to trick his potential killers. He was affected by the incident because he learned a lot about himself and what useful skills he had. ‘He felt no panic, only a sense of urgency. The lives of others – and his own – depended on this race down river. Somehow the men had to be put off his trail.’ This quote shows Liam’s grit and determination to save his friends. In conclusion, Liam having to get help because of the accident affected him in many ways. He overcame his greatest fear and used his skills and knowledge to successfully rescue his friends. From the incident Liam is a better, stronger person.