Sharing in The

Sharing in the Gifts of the Spirit

“By contrast the fruit of the Spirit is joy, love, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” [Galatians 4,22-23]

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme 1998

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 1 INTRODUCTION

BACKGROUND TO THE FORMATION PROGRAM ME

The basis of this Formation Programme comes from the themes set aside for the celebration of the Jubilee Year and from the 1998 Salesian Co-operator Congress for the English Speaking Region (Ireland, 3-6 July, 1998). As you may be aware, 1998 sees the celebration of the Year of the Holy Spirit, while the theme for the Irish Congress centres around sharing Our Gifts.

I have therefore composed a formation programme, which deals with the GIFTS OF THE SPIRIT as is presented in Paul’s letter to the Galatians (4,22-23). The gifts are JOY, LOVE, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GENEROSITY, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS and SELF-CONTROL. With each particular gift I have composed a meditation which can help each of us to realise the extent of that gift in our individual and communal lives and what we need to do in order to develop and share it more fully.

FORMAT OF THE PROGRAM ME

The Programme comprises of NINE sessions. Each session follows a similar pattern: 1) Scripture; 2) Reading; 3) Questions for Meditation; 4) Further Meditation (optional for the meeting format); 5) Prayer and Reflection; 6) How Do I Recognise and Share the Following Gifts with others and 7) The Thoughts of Don Bosco, Francis de Sales and Mary Mazzarello on each of the Nine topics. It is hoped that each session would run between 30 - 40 minutes. The Scripture reading helps us to focus on the gift set aside for each session. This may be read by one person or shared amongst those present at the meeting. The Reading allows us to further focus on the meaning of each gift from the perspective of how it was present in Jesus’ life and want is demanded of us as his followers. The Questions for Discussion allows the group to raise issues concerned with the recognition, development and sharing of each gift. The section, which deals with Further Meditation, is optional to the meeting format: it may be part of the meeting or it may be covered at a later stage. All the same, it is an important part of the Program and it needs to be covered. The section dealing with Prayer and Reflection is meant as a quiet reflective time for the group to focus on RELEASING the negative side of each gift and AFFIRMING the positive, life-giving aspect of each gift. Section 6 of the Program allows for each participant to consider some of the positive aspects of each gift, alongside another list which considers some negative attributes that can be part of a person’s personality if that particular gift is not developed. Section 7 has a cross-section from the works and writing of Don Bosco, Francis de Sales and Mary Mazzarello on each of the nine gifts. Both Sections 6 and 7 need not necessarily be part of the evening’s programme. They may be covered by the participants in their own

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 2 time. They are, however, an important ingredient to the Program and therefore need to be covered.

The readings for the Programme have been taken from a book by Robert J. Nogesek, C.S.C., called The Nine Portraits of Jesus. It is a guided study through the various characteristics of the personality of Jesus - his SERENITY, DISCIPLINE, CONCERN, AMBITION, SENSITIVITY, WISDOM, LOYALTY, JOY and ASSERTIVENESS. As we consider each of these personality traits, we can begin to come to some consideration of what we need to do in order for us to become more serene, disciplined, concerned, ambitious, sensitive, wise, loyal, joyful and assertive. These are positive gifts in line with the gifts given to each one of us by the Holy Spirit. May our journey together through this Programme allow us all to rediscover ourselves in the light of these gifts and be prepared to share them with each other for the good of our Salesian Family.

Fr. Robert Bossini, SDB. November, 1997

Love is always patient and kind, it is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but always delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 3 [ 1 Corinthians 13,4f ]

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 4 SESSION ONE DISCIPLINE/SELF-CONTROL

1. SCRIPTURE Lessons on Tolerance [Matthew 5, 38-48]

You have heard how it was said, ‘an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.

You have heard it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes the sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

2. READING

Jesus had high expectations of his disciples. He taught them to be perfect in their observance of all the commandments. They were to be perfect in every way - indeed much more “perfect” in their motives and behaviour than the scribes and Pharisees. They were always to be good, generous, honest and direct, fair towards others and very responsible.

Tolerance and compassion are more important than what is called “perfection”. We notice that Jesus’ admonition to be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect, as in Matthew 5,48, is rendered by Luke as: be compassionate as your Father is compassionate (6,36). What Jesus is saying, even in Matthew’s version, is that we are to do good to all, just as God does good not only to the just but also the unjust. God actually shows a TOLERANCE for evil and out of love he affirms the good that is present in the midst of the bad.

We are to give our attention, then, to the good that is already present, rather than insist on “perfection”. We can simply say: “That is where you are at now”, not condoning the faults we see, but believing in the person’s power to grow out of the present immaturity and imperfection. That is true, first of all in how we view ourselves. For some people, a key problem of the gospel is that we become perfect by accepting our imperfections. We need to acknowledge that the process of growth involves a lot of mistake-making, whether this be in how we express ourselves, how we learn a skill, or how we grow in the ability to love one another.

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 5 As Jesus suggested in the story of the woman in Simon’s house, if we have made a few mistakes in our lives it may be because we have not tried to love very much. [From Robert J. Nogesek, C.S.C. Nine Portraits of Jesus]

3. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

 When have I experienced in my life too much stress in doing things perfectly? What other values can be neglected?  How would I interpret the phrase “turn the other cheek to mean? What implications does it have for living?  How do I see Jesus more concerned about growth than perfection

4. FOR FURTHER MEDITATION

[This section can either be included as part of the meeting or covered by people in their own time]

Select one (or more) of the following passages, read it and ask yourself the following question: WHAT DOES IT SAY TO ME ABOUT DISCIPLINE, SELF- CONTROL AND TOLERATION?

John 4, 1-2 (The Woman at the Well) Luke 7, 36-50 (The Woman at Simon’s House) John 8, 1-11 (The Woman caught in Adultery)

5. PRAYER AND REFLECTION

In an atmosphere of quiet, the group is asked to reflect on the following RELEASES and AFFIRMATIONS. These can be quietly read by the individual or recited aloud with appropriate pauses between the proclamations:

I NOW RELEASE…

 holding myself and others to impossible standards  my fear of losing control and becoming irrational  my fear of being condemned for being wrong  refusing to see my own contradictions  rationalising my own behaviour  obsessions about things I cannot change  all bitterness and disappointment with the world  feeling that other people’s beliefs and values threaten me  believing that I am in a position to judge others  driving myself and others to be perfect  ignoring my own emotional and physical distress

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 6  feeling angry, impatient, and easily annoyed  my desire for order and efficiency to control my life  automatically focusing on what is wrong with things.  feeling that it is up to me to fix everything.

I NOW AFFIRM...

 that I can allow myself to relax and enjoy life  that the best I can do is good enough  that I am grateful that others have many things to teach me  that I can make mistakes without condemning myself  that my feelings are legitimate and that I have the right to feel them  that I treat others with tenderness and respect  that I am gentle and forgiving to myself  that I am compassionate and forgiving of others  that life is good and unfolding in miraculous ways.

6. HOW DO I RECOGNISE AND SHARE THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WITH OTHERS?

AM I...... ETHICAL, RELIABLE, PRODUCTIVE, WISE, IDEALISTIC, FAIR, HONEST, ORDERLY, SELF-DISCIPLINED? [OR: JUDGMENTAL, INFLEXIBLE, DOGMATIC, OBSESSIVE-COMPLUSIVE, CRITCIAL OF OITHERS, OVERLY SERIOUS, CONTROLLING, ANXIOUS, and JEALOUS? ]

7. SOME THOUGHTS OF MARY MAZZARELLO, DON BOSCO AND FRANCIS DE SALES ON DISCIPLINE & SELF-CONTROL

(A) MARY MAZZARELLO

Always correct with kindness, but do not overlook any defect; a defect corrected immediately is often a mere nothing; but if it is overlooked, it takes root and becomes very difficult to uproot (Letter, 17)

Jesus must be your strength. With Jesus burdens become light, our fatigue is converted into delights. But you must conquer yourselves, otherwise everything becomes unbearable. (Letters, 22)

Keep cheerful, do not worry about not being able to correct your defects all at once, but if you have the good will to fight against them, you will certainly overcome them little by little, provided you do not come to terms with them. (Letters, 17)

(B)DON BOSCO

Gymnastics, music, drama, the theatre, walks are all very helpful means for promoting discipline and are efficacious means for promoting morality and good health. (MB: IV, 449)

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 7 To correct fruitfully you must never reprove a person in the presence of others. (MB: II, 154)

Do not wait until misdeeds mount up before you give a correction. Speak immediately and clearly. (MB: VII, 508)

Great occasions of serving God present themselves but seldom, but little ones frequently...Perform all things in the name of God, and you will do all things well; whether you eat, drink, sleep, recreate yourself, or turn theSpirit, provided you know how to refer all your actions to God, you will profit much in the sight of the Divine Majesty. (Introduction to the Devout Life)

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 8 SESSION TWO CONCERN/GENEROSITY

1. SCRIPTURE: Jesus Visits Mary and Martha (Luke 10. 38-42)

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.

2. READING:

One phrase that particularly captures the personality of Jesus is that he was a “man for others.’ He took pride in living to serve others, and taught his followers the same. Some people can take pride in being of service to others. Such an attitude was certainly of great value to Jesus. He insisted that he had come to serve, and not be served (Matt 20,28). As he showed, serving others included hugs and other forms of warm hospitality, but it especially meant taking the initiative in helping others. This may mean coming to the rescue when another is hurt or embarrassed or simply left out. We see Jesus being a “rescuer’ in the story of the wedding at Cana (John 2,1-11). The newly wed couple would have been embarrassed that the wine had run out. Without being asked, Jesus rescued them from their embarrassment.

People who like to “rescue’ others identify their WORTH with being of service to the needs others. This can be so important that when there is nothing to do for another, they feel there is nothing to do at all. Such people may dislike meetings, self-analysis or anything that can stop them from being of service to others. Their main interest is always in serving the needs they find in others. These tendencies cover up a hidden spirit of independence and pride typically found in the rescuing person. These people tend to avoid being dependent themselves. This can come from an attitude in which they deny having any needs themselves. Such people can reach a stage where their helping others becomes a way of manipulating them and making them totally dependent on them.

“Rescuing people’ need to see themselves as very special and unique people because of what THEY feel and what THEY experience. They also need to grow in the humility of knowing they have needs which are to be cared for by others. How can people get close to me if I do not allow them to care for me? If I don’t share myself by telling

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 9 others my needs and hurts and feelings, how will I ever experience being loved just because of WHO I am? [From Robert J. Nogosek, C.S.C. Nine Portraits of Jesus]

3. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

 How can I love people other than through ways of serving their needs?  Where have I seen people making the mistake of trying to win love from others by what they do for them?  What does it mean to “decide to love someone”? What implications does it have on my life as a Christian?  “Real love is interpersonal communion.” What does this mean? What implications does it have for me?

4. FOR FURTHER MEDITATION

[This section can either be included as part of the meeting or can be covered by people in their own time.]

Select one (or more) of the following passages, read it and ask yourself the following question: WHAT DOES IT SAY TO ME ABOUT MY WILLINGNESS TO SERVE OTHERS UNCONDITIONALLY?

John 2, 1-11 [The Wedding at Cana] Mark 1, 22 -34 [The Cure of Peter’s Mother-in-law] Mark 9, 33-37 [The Conditions of Discipleship]

5. PRAYER AND REFLECTION

In an atmosphere of quiet, the group is asked to reflect on the following RELEASES and AFFIRMATIONS. These can either be quietly read by the group or recited aloud with appropriate pauses between each proclamations:

I NOW RELEASE...

 all feelings of rage and resentment towards others  all attempts to justify my aggressive feelings  all attachments to feelings of being victimised and used  the fear that I am unwanted and unloved  all attempts to force others to love me  making others feel guilty for not responding sufficiently to my needs  thinking that others owe me for the things that I have chosen to do for them  believing that no one willingly takes care of me  expecting others to repay my help in the way I want  calling attention to what I have done for others  feeling possessive of loved ones  doing things for others to make myself needed  flattering others to make them feel good about me  not wanting to acknowledge my negative feelings

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 10 I NOW AFFIRM...

 that I own all my feelings without fear  that I am clear and conscious of my motives  that I am loveable for who I am  that my happiness does not depend on pleasing others  that I can let go of loved ones  that I nurture my own growth and development  that I love others without expecting anything in return  the joy and warmth that fills my heart  my gratitude for all that others have given me

6. DO I RECOGNISE AND SHARE THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WITH OTHERS?

AM I .... LOVING, CARING, ADAPTABLE, INSIGHTFUL, GENEROUS, ENTHUSIASTIC, TURNED IN ON HOW PEOPLE FEEL? [OR: MARTYRLIKE, INDIRECT, MANIPULATIVE, POSSESSIVE, HYSTERICAL, OVERLY ACCOMMODATING, and OVERLY DEMONSTRATIVE?]

7. SOME THOUGHTS FROM MARY MAZZARELLO, DON BOSCO AND FRANCIS DE SALES ON - CONCERN & GENEROSITY

(A) MARY MAZZARELLO

The most important thing is that you agree with each other, be it in one house or another, help one another like true sisters. Try to stay in touch with each other. (Letters, 63)

Be cheerful.... always cheerful, never offend each other, rather as soon as you notice that someone is in need of comfort, give it to her...console and help each other. (Letters, 26)

Be cheerful, encourage all the Sisters, and take care of their health. (Letters, 28)

(B) DON BOSCO

God will not let you outdo him in generosity. (MB: II, 254)

When it is a matter of serving a wonderful master like Christ we must be ready to make any sacrifice. (MB: II, 535)

God does not want to see us doing things because we are forced. Being a God of love he wants to see us doing things out of love. (MB: VI, 15)

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 11 Your principal intention in communicating should be to advance, comfort, and strengthen yourself in the love of God. (Introduction to the Devout Life)

To be good a person must be possessed by charity, and to be devout, besides charity, he must show cheerfulness and alacrity in the performance of charitable actions. (Introduction to the Devout Life) ****** SESSION THREE AMBITION / LOVE

1. SCRIPTURE [The Temptations of Jesus Matthew 4, 1-11]

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished. The tempter came and said to him. “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” But he answered, “It is written: ‘One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Then the devil took him to the holy city and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple, saying to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written, ‘ He will command his angels concerning you’, and ‘On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.’” Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Again the devil took him to a high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendour; and he said to him, “ All these I will give you, if you fall down and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “ Away with you, Satan! for it is written, ‘worship the Lord your God, and serve him alone.” Then the devil left him, and suddenly angels came and waited on him.

2. READING

Some people have a great deal of AMBITION to succeed in whatever they undertake to do. They plan carefully and expect their co-workers to be competent and dedicated. For such people, to be is to be successful, and this success depends on the favourable reaction of others.

Jesus himself had a great ambition to succeed in what he set out to do. His concern to succeed as a young man brought about an internal struggle against the temptation for success in the eyes of the world (Matthew 4,1-11). To succeed in his mission Jesus developed his personality as a leader. In him we can see the following characteristics: Jesus was an ATTENTION GETTER, not a religious recluse; he made himself AVAILABLE; he LOVED PEOPLE; he was EXCITING TO BE WITH; he was a GREAT COMMUNICATOR; he was always IN CHARGE of the situation.

People who seek success in life can often be criticised for making their work their life. Although this can be true, is it really all that bad? Jesus, we see, lived for the success of his movement. His life was his work. He sacrificed everything for the success of his

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 12 mission, and he expected this of his followers. The main trap of people who seek success in life can be their avoidance of failure and their intolerance of incompetence. For such people, their own WORTH is at stake when there is the prospect of failing

It was Jesus’ mission to reveal in the paschal mystery that success comes out of failure. Often God shows his greatest power in our lives only when we have suffered some great disappointment, even to the extent of failing in all we have worked to achieve. Far from such failure being a sign of God abandoning us, he is putting into effect his plan to bring success out of failure. For those who chose success as the goal of their lives, to follow the footsteps of Jesus in bearing their own cross may well be an acceptance of failure in the enterprise into which they have put their life’s blood. Such acceptance of failure is to include faith that the failure is not a sign that God is turning away from them. More often, it is through failures that we discover a new power of serving others and a new motivation for living which is no longer for what we once considered “success”, but now centres on the gift of ourselves for the building of God’s own kingdom.

[From Robert J. Nogesek, C.S.C. Nine Portraits of Jesus]

3. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

 How important is it to have clear goals in our lives?  What can be some common temptations that can distract us from our goals?  How have I experienced failure as a way of carrying my own cross while following in the footsteps of Jesus?  “It was Jesus’ mission to reveal in the paschal mystery that success comes out of failure.” How true is this of life in general? Of Christian life? How do I deal with success, failure and rejection in my life?

4. FOR FURTHER MEDITATION

[This section can either be included as part of the meeting or can be covered by people in their own time.]

Select one (or more) of the following passages, read it and then ask yourself the following question: WHAT PART DOES SUCCESS AND FAILURE PLAY IN THE STORY OF MY LIFE?

Luke 4, 14-30 [Jesus is Rejected at Nazareth] Luke 10, 17-24 [The Return of the Seventy-Two] John 6, 1-15 [Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand] Luke 14, 25-33 [The Cost of Being a Disciple]

5. PRAYER AND REFLECTION

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 13 In an atmosphere of quiet, the group is asked to reflect on the following RELEASES and AFFIRMATIONS. These can be quietly read by the individual or recited aloud with appropriate pauses between the proclamations:

I NOW RELEASE...

 my fear of failing and being humiliated  feeling jealous of others and their good fortune  thinking that I am inadequate and will be rejected  feeling that I must conceal my mistakes and limitations  closing down my feelings in order to function  betraying my own integrity to get the admiration of others  attempting to misrepresent myself and my abilities  the grandiose expectations I have of myself  craving constant attention and affirmation  using arrogance to compensate for my own insecurity  desiring to impress others with my performance  concealing behind masks  comparing myself with others  driving myself relentlessly to be the best

I NOW AFFIRM...

 that I have values regardless of my achievements  that I am centred and emotionally available  that I am caring and have a good heart  that I take in the love that others give me  that I am happy to work for the good of others  that I have developed my true talents by accepting who I am  that I can reveal my true self without being afraid  that I delight in the accomplishments and success of others. 

6. HOW DO I RECOGNISE AND SHARE THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WITH OTHERS?

AM I... OPTIMISTIC, CONFIDENT, INDUSTRIOUS, EFFICIENT, SELF-PROPELLED, ENERGETIC, PRACTICAL? [OR: DECEPTIVE, NARCISSISTIC, PRENTENIOUS, VAIN, SUPERFICIAL, VINDICTIVE, and OVERLY COMPETITIVE? ]

7. SOME THOUGHTS OF MARY MAZZARELLO, DON BOSCO AND FRANCIS DE SALES ON - AMBITION & LOVE.

(A) MARY MAZZARELLO

Have a competition among you to see who will become a saint more quickly. especially in humility and charity. (Letters, 350

Tell me now! Do you love each other? Do you practise charity among yourselves? (Letters, 22)

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 14 Animate each other for one’s spiritual and temporal good. (Letters, 35)

Become a saint who is full of charity for self and for others. (Letters, 26)

(B) DON BOSCO

We are ambitious but only to save souls at all costs. (MB: IX, 354)

Love your duties if you want to do them well. (MB: III, 617)

You must love to be loved. (MB: XVII, 111)

Love everyone, Philothea, with a great love of charity, but have no friendship except for those that communicate unto you the things of virtue...perfection consists, not in having no friendship, but in having none but with such as are good, saintly and holy, (Introduction to the Devout Life)

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 15 SESSION FOUR SENSITIVITY / GENTLENESS

1. SCRIPTURE [The Anointing at Bethany Matthew 26, 6 -1 3]

Now while Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very costly ointment, and she poured it on his head as he sat at table. But when the disciples saw it, they were angry and said, “Why this waste? For this ointment could have been sold for a large sum, and the money given to the poor. But Jesus, aware of this, said to them: “Why do you trouble this woman? She has prepared a good service for me. For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me. By pouring this on my body she has prepared me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this good news is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in remembrance of her.”

2. READING

Jesus could be called “the patron of misunderstood people”. He frequently complained to his closest friends that they did not understand him. A reason for this was his acute sensitivity. Jesus often shed tears for others (the death of Lazarus), was heavy hearted when leaving his friends (Last Supper discourses), felt pity on hearing of people’s situations (crowd scenes). In all, Jesus has a great sensitivity for people and their situations.

The greatest trap which oversensitive people can fall into is that of using melancholy and self-pity as a way to draw attention to themselves. It is a way of feeling very “special” as a person. By sighs and tears they share their feelings about past tragedies in life, and thereby dominate another by engendering sympathy. One of the favourite themes in romantic literature has been that of the misunderstood person of fragile health who withdrew from normal life and then sucked into his or her life some generous soul. The one who tried to understand and be a friend was drawn into a pit of sadness and isolation?

As we study Jesus, we see that even as “a man of sorrows” he consistently avoided the trap of self-pity. Whenever Jesus spoke to his disciples of his coming suffering and death, he added also the prediction that he would rise again (Mark 8,31; 10, 32-34). It was an hour of darkness, but only an “hour”, that is a brief time. He liked to compare this tragic hour to a mother’s labour pains. At the time when the labour began she was sad, but once her baby was born she forgot what the pain had been because she was so happy to have brought new life into the world. (John 16, 21) [From Robert J. Nogesek, C.S.C., Nine Portraits of Jesus]

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 16 3. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

 What are some good characteristics about persons we know who are every sensitive? How would we like to imitate them?  What advice would you give to people who are hypersensitive and easily hurt?  Have you ever experienced being misunderstood? What feelings did you have at that time?  How can an oversensitive person dominate the life of another?

4. FOR FURTHER MEDITATION

[This section can either be included as part of the meeting or can be covered by individuals or couples in their own time.]

Select one (or more) of the following passage, read it and ask yourself the following question: HOW DO I FEEL WHEN I FIND THAT I SHOW EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS IN PUBLIC?

John 11, 1-44 [At the Tomb of Lazarus] John 13, 1-17 [Jesus washes the Disciples’ Feet] Mark 14, 32-42 [Jesus Prays at Gethsemane]

5. PRAYER AND REFLECTION

I NOW RELEASE...

 turning my anger and aggressions against myself  all self-hatred and self-contempt  all feelings of hopelessness and despair  thinking that I am inadequate and defective  the fear that I am unimportant and undesirable  feeling shameful and misunderstood by others  being distraught, fatigued and inhibited  thinking that people always let me down  all unrealistic expectations of myself and others

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 17  all claims of needing to be treated differently  all self-indulgence in my emotions and behaviour  all self-doubt and emotional vulnerability  wanting to protect myself by withdrawing from others  all wasteful fantasies and romantic longings  dwelling on the past to prolong my feelings.

I NOW AFFIRM...

 that I am not defined by my feelings  that only the feelings I act on express who I am  that I open myself up to people and to the world  that I use all of my experiences to grow  the goodness of my life, my friends and myself  that I love myself and treat myself gently  that I am free of the damage of the past  that I am transforming my life into something higher  that I am bringing something good and beautiful into the world.

6. HOW DO I RECOGNISE AND SHARE THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WITH OTHERS?

AM I WARM, COMPASSIONATE, INTROSPECTIVE, EXPRESSIVE, CREATIVE, INTUITIVE, SUPPORTIVE, and REFINED? (OR DEPRESSED, SELF-CONSCIOUS, GUILT-RIDDEN, MORALISTIC, WITHDRAWN, STUBBORN, MOODY, SELF-ABSORBED? )

7. SOME THOUGHTS OF MAR MAZZARELLO, DON BOSCO AND FRANCIS DE SALES ON - SENSITIVITY & GENTLENESS:

(A) MARY MAZZARELLO

Give good example among yourselves and with the students; have outstanding patience and gentleness without measure. (Letters, 27)

Take courage, love one another, help one another, bear with each other and advise each other charitably. (Letters, 56)

You must have patience with Sr. Victoria, and inspire her little by little with the spirit of our Congregation. She had not yet acquired it because she was at Mornese for a very short time. I think that if you know how to take her she will turn out for the better. (Letters, 25)

(B) DON BOSCO

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 18 Let your speech be always spiced with gentleness. (MB: VIII, 490)

Gentleness in speaking, acting and counselling will win everything and everyone. (MB: XVII, 628)

How is your heart affected toward your neighbour? Do you love him from your heart and for love of God? To discern this well, you must bring to your mind certain troublesome and intractable people, for it is here we exercise the love of God towards our neighbour. (Introduction to the Devout Life)

**** SESSION FIVE WISDOM / PATIENCE

1. SCRIPTURE [Hearers and Doers - Matthew 7, 24-29]

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell - and great was its fall!”

Now when Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were astounded at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority, and not as their scribes.

2. READING

Jesus had a concern for wisdom and its attainment - it was important for him to be wise and not foolish. Gaining wisdom can be a matter of listening to other “voices’ - both within and without and being able to discern, with prayer and patience, what is best. Wisdom is a knowledge that leads to correct judgement - in regard to our values, goals and decisions.

Jesus never entered into major decisions without first going off to “a lonely place” - often for most of the night. His authority came from his seeking wisdom. People who seek wisdom through reflection, thinking and discernment can often be tagged as being aloof and “other-wordily”, loners. These people can be bored with the triviality of life - they may even become annoyed with the presence of others, especially if that doesn’t add to their knowledge. They can be observers in-groups rather than participants. They may often seem as being uncooperative and non-collaborative.

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 19 Although Jesus sought solitude, he was not a loner. He constantly entered into dialogue with others, which led to further reflection. He asked his disciples to reflect on the values and principles he gave them. One message he left his disciples is that participating in them (e.g. the concept of love and service) can only attain one of the most important realities in life. Prayer was important to Jesus, but it always led to action.

[From Robert J. Nogesek, C.S.C. Nine Portraits of Jesus]

3. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

 Which teachings of Jesus have I tried to build my life on? How have they helped me during life’s difficult times?  How do I experience prayer as a time for reflection in my life in the light of Jesus’ teachings?  Do I see myself as an ‘observer “ or as a ‘participant’? What are the positive and negative aspects of each?

4. FOR FURTHER MEDITATION

[This section can be included as part of the meeting or covered by the individuals or couples in their own time]

Select one (or more) of the following passages, read it and then ask yourself the following question: IN WHAT WAYS DO I SEEK WISDOM IN MY LIFE?

Matthew 7, 1-5 [Judge Not That You Be Not Judged] Matthew 11,25-30 [Come to Me and Rest] Luke 14, 7-14 [Humility and Hospitality] Luke 21, 1-4 [The Widow’s Offering]

5. PRAYER AND REFLECTION

In an atmosphere of quiet, the group is asked to reflect on the following RELEASES and AFFIRMATIONS. These can be quietly read by each individual or recited aloud with appropriate pauses between each proclamation.

I NOW RELEASE...

 all fearfulness of the world

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 20  all feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness  my fear of being overwhelmed by others  isolating myself by rejecting others  believing that no one can be depended on  desiring to antagonise others and ruin their peace of mind  being cynical and contemptuous of the normalcy of others  fearing that others will exploit me  thinking that I am a misfit in life  being secretive and hiding from people  postponing my emotional needs  neglecting my physical health and appearance  the agitation and restlessness of my mind  thinking that I always need to know more before I do anything  avoiding my life by escaping into my mind

I NOW AFFIRM...

 that I am secure and grounded in the reality of my own life  the strength and wonder of my body  the value of my inventiveness and sense of humour  that I accept uncertainty and ambiguity  that my life and struggles are meaningful and rewarding  that I have faith in the future and in human beings  that I reach out to others confidently as an equal  that I find serenity in being compassionate towards others  That I support others from the fullness of my heart.

6. HOW DO I RECOGNISE AND SHARE THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WITH OTHERS?

AM I ... ANALYTICAL, PERSEVERING, SENSITIVE, WISE, OBJECTIVE, PERCEPTIVE, SELF- CONTAINED? [OR INTELLECTUALLY ARROGANT, STINGY, STUBBORN, DISTANT, CRITICAL OF OTHERS, UNASSERTIVE, NEGATIVE? ]

7. SOME THOUGHTS OF MAR MAZZARELLO, DON BOSCO AND FRANCIS DE SALES ON - WISDOM & PATIENCE.

(A) MARY MAZZARELLO

Pray to God with all your heart. He will make you truly wise. (Letters, 22)

I continually pray for blessings for you all, so that you may clothe yourselves with the spirit of Jesus and thus do a lot of good to yourselves and to those who come in contact with you. Yes, but what was the Spirit of the Lord? that spirit which was humble, patient, full of charity. (Letters, 26)

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 21 Whatever be your duty, I think I will never be mistaken if I tell you to be humble, patient and charitable.

I assure you that I always pray to him for you all especially in those blissful moments when I receive Him into my heart, I ask Him to give you those virtues, which are so very necessary - humility, patience and charity. (Letters, 39)

(B) DON BOSCO

Many problems are solved by patience (MB: III: 147)

Let charity and patience be your constant companions in commanding and correcting (MB: X, 1041)

Without patience we will never become saints. (MB: XII, 606)

The truly patient man neither complains himself, nor desires to be pitied by others; he speaks of his sufferings with truth and sincerity, without murmuring, complaining or aggravating the matter. (Introduction to the Devout Life) ****

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 22 SESSION SIX LOYALTY / FAITHFULNESS

1. SCRIPTURE [Responsibility for Others: John 19, 25-27]

Meanwhile standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” Then he said to his disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.

2. READING

Some people see life as being filled with demands. They spend their days seeking to respond to such demands. They view life as holding them accountable for doing what they are supposed to do.

Jesus had a great sense of responsibility. His greatest expression of being accountable was letting himself be crucified (see his words from the cross, his discussions at the Last Supper). All this was a sign of Jesus’ loyalty to his disciples. This loyalty can be called faith.

In his life Jesus taught vigorously against a blind faith - a disjointed loyalty, a legalism which became a burden rather than an instrument for freedom. His relationship and dialogues with the scribes and Pharisees bring this point across. Jesus argued that out of a blind legalism we can easily step into a type of self-righteousness. All this makes us slaves to a rigid type of security - it shows itself in a blind obedience to an authority figure. Jesus taught us to live by the Spirit of the law and not by the letter of the law.

{From Robert J. Nogesek, C.S.C. Nine Portraits of Jesus]

3. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

 Where do we see legalism in the practice of our religion? What are its effects?  How would I define self-righteousness? How can it be a problem in my life?  What forms the basis of security in my life?

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 23 4. FOR FURTHER MEDITATION

[This section can be part of the meeting or can be covered by individuals or couples in their own time.]

Select one (or more) of the following passages, read it and ask yourself the following question: WHAT DOES LOYALTY MEANS FOR ME?

John 14, 1-4 [I Go to Prepare a Place for You] John 15, 9-17 [I Call You Friends] Matthew 28,57-68 [Jesus Before the Sanhedrin] Galatians 2,15-21 [We Are Saved by Faith] Ephesians 5,1-20 [Imitate God as His Children]

5. PRAYER AND REFLECTION

I NOW RELEASE...

 my fear of being abandoned and alone  my self-defeating, self-punishing tendencies  all feelings of dread about the future  feeling persecuted, trapped and desperate  overreacting and exaggerating my problems  taking out my fears and anxieties on others  being suspicious of others and thinking the worst of them  feeling inferior and incapable of functioning on my own  feeling cowardly and unsure of myself  acting “tough” to disguise my insecurities  my fear and dislike of those who are different from me  blaming others for my own problems and mistakes  being evasive and defensive with those who need me  my tendency to be negative and complaining  my fear of taking responsibility for my mistakes  looking to others to make me feel secure

I NOW AFFIRM...

 that I am independent and capable  that I can keep my own identity in groups and in relationships  that I have faith in myself, my talents and my future

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 24  that I meet difficulties with calmness and confidence  that I am secure and able to make the best of whatever comes my way  that the kinship I have with every human being  that I am understanding and generous to all who need me  that I act courageously in all circumstances  that I find true authority within me

6. HOW DO I RECOGNISE AND SHARE THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WITH OTHERS?

AM I ... LOYAL, LIKABLE, CARING, WARM, COMPASSIONATE, WITTY, PRACTICAL, HELPFUL, and RESPONSIVE? [OR HYPERVIGILANT, CONTROLLING, UNPREDICTABLE, JUDGMENTAL, PARANOID, DEFENSIVE, RIGID, SELF-DEFEATING, TESTY?]

7. SOME THOUGHTS FROM MARY MAZZARELLO, DON BOSCO AND FRANCIS DE SALES ON - LOYALTY & FAITHFULNESS.

(A) MARY MAZZARELLO

Just one thing, I once again recommend great confidence and loyalty towards others. (Letters, 27)

Take courage, have confidence in those in authority and help them in everything. (Letters, 37)

Let us say our prayers with eagerness and fervour together with the faithful practice of our vows. (Letters, 52)

Remember the vows you made with such eagerness, and often ask yourself how you practise them. (Letters, 49)

(B) DON BOSCO

Let us be satisfied with easy tasks but stick to them. (MB: VI, 9)

To me constant virtue is a greater thing than extraordinary graces. (MB: VI, 969)

When Don Bosco puts his mind to a job he is not the one to pull out when the job is only half done. (MB: XIII, 53)

In addition to be ever ready to fight courageously against great temptations, we must also constantly and diligently defend ourselves against those that seem weak and trivial. (Introduction to the Devout Life)

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 25 SESSION SEVEN JOY

1. SCRIPTURE [The Vision of Everlasting Peace: Isaiah 2, 1-4]

The word that Isaiah, son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem. In days to come the mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established as the highest of the mountains, and shall be raised above the hills; all nations shall stream to it. Many peoples shall come and say, ‘Come let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob; that he may teach us his ways and that we may walk in his paths.’ For out of Zion shall go forth instruction and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. He shall judge between the nations and shall arbitrate for many peoples; they shall beat their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.

2. READING

One of the clearest presentations of living the paschal mystery in our time is formulated by creation-centred spirituality, especially as outlined in Original Blessings by Matthew Fox. Our spirituality is to begin with the enjoyment of life, accepting in gratitude all the good we discover around us (Via Positiva). Not to appreciate the good of creation is to fail to appreciate the divine Creator. A day arrives, however, when trials come which take away some of the good we have possessed (Via Negativa). These trials are a time of grace, calling us to let go, and to entrust ourselves into the hands of God, like Job did when he said to his wife: “The Lord gave, and now he has taken away. May his name be praised!” (Job 1,21). Out of this acceptance of loss the grace of God can engender within us a new creativity, like a kind of resurrection (Via Creativa). Through the development and exercise of this new creativity with others we can be an instrument of God for the transformation of the world (Via Transformativa).

[From Robert J. Nogesek, C.S.C. Nine Portraits of Jesus]

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 26 3. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

 What is my understanding of peace in life?  How do I react and/or respond to life’s trials?  How can we be instruments of God for the transformation of the world?  Is it true to say that pain has to be avoided at all costs? What bearing has my answer on the way I live out my life?

4. FOR FURTHER MEDITATION

[This section can either be part of the meeting or can be covered by the individuals or couples in their own time.]

Select one (or more) of the following passages, read it and ask yourself the following question: WHAT NEEDS TO BE TRANSFORMED IN MY WORLD?

Matthew 9, 14-17 [The Question about Fasting] John 21, 1-13 [Jesus Appears on the Shores of Tiberias] Mark 6, 30-44 [Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand] John 6, 25-59 [Jesus the Bread of Life] John 12, 20-30 [Jesus Accepts Death Like a Grain of Wheat]

5. PRAYER AND REFLECTION

I NOW RELEASE...

 all reckless and destructive impulses  thinking that I will be overwhelmed by anxiety  burning myself out by trying to satisfy all of my desires  running away from the consequences of my actions  fighting with others to vent out my frustration.  allowing my insecurities to drive me into dangerous situations and behaviour  sacrificing my health and happiness for instant gratification  being demanding and impatient with others  fearing that there will not be enough for me  always thinking that I need more  wanting every moment to be exciting and dramatic  escaping from myself through distractions and constant activity  letting my lack of self-discipline ruin my opportunities  overextending myself with more than I can do well

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 27  believing that external things will make me happy

I NOW AFFIRM...

 that I am happiest when I am calm and centred  that I can say no to myself without feeling deprived  that there will be enough for me of whatever I need  that I am resilient in the face of setbacks  that I find satisfaction in ordinary things  that I stay with projects until I complete them  that I care deeply about people and am committed to their happiness  that there is a spiritual dimension to my life  that I am profoundly grateful to be alive

6. HOW DO I RECOGNISE AND SHARE THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WITH OTHERS?

AM I ...FUN-LOVING, SPONTANEOUS, IMAGINATIVE, PRODUCTIVE, ENTHUSIASTIC, QUICK, CONFIDENT, CHARMING, CURIOUS? [NARISSISTIC, IMPULSIVE, UNFOCUSED, REBELLIOUS, UNDISCIPLINED, POSSESSIVE, MANIC, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE, RESTLESS?]

7. SOME THOUGHTS OF MARY MAZZARELLO, DON BOSCO AND FRANCIS DE SALES ON - JOY:

(A) MARY MAZZARELLO

Strive each day to become more holy and you will be happy (Letters, 12)

In order to be happy we need to go ahead with simplicity. (Letters, 24)

Place all your troubles in Jesus’ heart and leave everything to Him for He will put all things right. Be happy always. (Letters, 19)

(B) DON BOSCO

Let us always be joyful and then time will pass quickly, (MB: I, 374)

Here we make holiness consist in being always happy. (MB: V, 356)

Joy, study, and piety: this is the grand program, which, if it is practised, will make of us happy people. (MB: VII, 494)

Let us feed upon the honey of the many good instructions which other devout persons have left us, and pray to God to give us wings like a dove, that we may not only be enabled

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 28 to fly up during this present life, but also rest on the mountains of eternity in the life to come. (Introduction to the Devout Life)

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 29 SESSION EIGHT ASSERTIVENESS / KINDNESS

1. SCRIPTURE [Jesus Cleanses the Temple - John 2, 13-17]

The Passover of the Jews was near and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves and the moneychangers seated at their tables. Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the sheep and cattle. He also poured out the coins of the moneychangers and overturned their tables. He told those who were selling the doves, “Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!”

2. READING

Despite the strength of his personality, Jesus often reacted to the sinful behaviour of others by gentleness rather than by confrontation. He defended the adulterous woman from condemnation (John 8,10f), invited himself to the house of a notorious tax collector named Zachaues (Luke 19,5), and avoided following John the Baptist’s challenge to Herod’s adulterous life (Luke 3,19). It wasn’t in Jesus’ strategy to confront injustice wherever it was. He warned his followers not to take on a losing battle (Luke 14, 31f); they needed to be prudent like snakes, and not only innocent like doves (Matt 10,16). He got the reputation of fraternising with a lot of sinful types, many of whom were justifiably excommunicated from the synagogue. To those who complained about this he said that he had come not for the just but for sinners (Mk 2, 17)

We can say that despite his public attack on the scribes and Pharisees, he avoided denouncing them as individuals. Perhaps this came from his understanding that many people became trapped in their self-interest as a class or economic group. He attacked the self-interest and maliciousness of the Jewish religious leaders without necessarily putting down any individual scribes or Pharisee. After all, we find Jesus on many occasions being invited to eat at a Pharisee’s house (Luke 7,36 f), and his night visitor; Nicodemus was also a Pharisee (John 3,1).

Jesus’ teachings on non-violence still remains very controversial among his followers as we ponder the traditional use of violence in order to achieve justice and peace within our own nation and between all nations. The question is, do we confront evil in ways that can lead others to see their injustice and thereby repent, or do we simply want to prevail over all that do wrong?

[From Robert J. Nogesek, C.S.C, Nine Portraits of Jesus]

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 30 3. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

 What do I especially admire in the way Jesus confronts people? How do I see him as a model for my own self-assertion?  Is there a difference between being assertive and being kind?  How did Jesus teach an attitude of non-violent witness to the truth, and how do we try to live that out in our lives today as his followers?  How do I confront people in my life?

4 FOR FURTHER MEDIATION

[This section can either be part of the general meeting format or be covered by group members in their own time]

Select one (or more) of the following passages, read it, and ask yourself the following question: HOW AM I CHALLANGED TO DEAL WITH MY ANGER AND ASSERTIVENESS?

Matthew 23, 13-36 [Jesus Confronts the Scribes and Pharisees] John 15, 18-16,15 [The Promise of the Spirit] John 18, 1-11 [The Arrest of Jesus] Acts 2,14-39 [Peter’s Pentecost Sermon] Philippians 2,5-11 [Christ’s Humility and Greatness]

5. PRAYER AND REFLECTION

I NOW RELEASE...

 all anger, rage and violence from my life  dehumanising myself by violating others in any way  being verbally or physically abusive  believing that taking vengeance will free me from my own pain  hardening my heart against suffering  my fear of ever being vulnerable or weak  believing that I do not need others  believing that I must bully people to get my own way  my fear that others will control me  thinking that I must only look after myself

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 31  my fear of losing to anyone  thinking that I must never be afraid  attempting to control everything in my life  allowing my pride and ego to ruin my health and relationships  thinking that anyone who does not agree with me is against me  being hard-boiled and denying my need for affection

I NOW AFFIRM...

 that I believe in people and care about their welfare  that I am big hearted and let others share the glory  that I am honourable and therefore worthy of respect  that I am most fulfilled by championing others  that I have tender feelings and good impulses  that I can be gentle without being afraid  that I master myself and my own passions  that there is an authority greater than me  that I love others and ask for their love in return

6. HOW DO I RECOGNISE AND SHARE THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WITH OTHERS?

AM I ... DIRECT, AUTHORITATIVE, LOYAL, ENERGETIC, EARTHY, PROTECTIVE, and SELF- CONFIDENT? [OR CONTROLLING, REBELLIOUS, INSENSITIVE, DOMINEERING, SELF- CENTRED, SKEPTICAL, AGGRESSIVE?]

7. SOME THOUGHTS OF MARY MAZZARELLO, DON BOSCO, AND FRANCIS DE SALES ON - ASSERTIVENESS & KINDNESS:

(A) MARY MAZZARELLO

Remember that it is not enough to begin; you must continue; you must strive indefatigably always, every day. (Letters, 19)

Be always charitable to all, but in a special way with your sisters. (Letters, 67)

Use all possible charity towards each other, help in work, advise with kindness and always take with a good heart the advice given by someone else. (Letters, 27)

(B) DON BOSCO

Let us always be motivated by charity, which, in the end, always brings results, which are to our advantage. (MB: VII, 312).

Respect all, but fear no-one (MB: V, 661).

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 32 When it is a matter of saving souls have no fear of the consequences. (MB: V, 660).

We all need one whom by his advice and counsel may guide us in all our actions and protect us from the ambush and concerts of the wicked one. He will be to us a treasure of wisdom and of consolation in our afflictions and sorrows, and our failures. He will serve as a medicine to ease and comfort our hearts in our spiritual disorders. (Introduction to the Devout Life).

***

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 33 SESSION NINE SERENITY / PEACE

1. SCRIPTURE [Jesus Appears to the Disciples John 20, 19-21]

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.”

2. READING

Jesus was a man of great tranquillity. Especially in these days when many people are experiencing great turmoil and insecurity in life, we need to know his serenity and peacefulness. Although life for him during his public ministry was often like being at war, he did carry within himself the deep peace of the Holy Spirit. He wanted his disciples to share his peace (John 14, 27) and said people should come to him in order to find rest for their souls (Matt 11,29). When the disciples, most of whom were seasoned fishermen, became panic stricken because a sudden storm on the lake threatened to capsize their boat, Jesus remained asleep with his head on a cushion (Mk 4,35 ff.). When they woke him because of the danger, he chided them for showing little faith. He brought about a great calm.

Sometimes people who have a great deal of serenity in their lives don’t have much action. Such people tend to be content with life as it is, and take pains to avoid whatever might upset their complacency. This means avoiding all conflicts and tensions, and taking pride in just being easygoing. These people like routine and don’t want to be disturbed from their accustomed daily life. They are comfortable with old friends and are little interested in making new ones. They like pastimes such as watching T.V., playing cards, following sports, and collecting knickknacks.

Something of this indolent complacency is suggested to us by the seven apostles who went out fishing instead of getting busy becoming missionaries (John 21, 2 ff.). The spirit of the Risen Jesus calls us to peace, but also to action - one, which is found in love and service - in the knowledge, recognition and use of our gifts and talents. This is the basis of our Christian calling.

[From Robert J. Nogesek, C.S.C Nine Portraits of Jesus]

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 34 3. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

 Can I recognise some calm and peaceable people in my life? What special gifts do they bring to the community?  Do I recognise people who are “burnt out” and really lacking in energy and enthusiasm? How can I/we help them to become more dynamic?  What gifts do I recognise in my life as a disciple of Jesus? In what ways could I contribute to sharing these gifts with other members of the Body of Christ?

4. FOR FURTHER MEDITATION

[This section can be part of the general meeting or be covered by people in their own time.]

Select one (or more) of the following passages, read it and ask yourself the following question: HOW CAN I ENCOURAGE PEACE IN MY LIFE?

Mark 4, 35-41 [Jesus Calms the Storm] Matthew 14, 22-33 [Jesus Walks on the Water] John 21, 15-19 [The Risen Jesus with Peter]

5. PRAYER AND REFLECTION

I NOW RELEASE...

 not taking an active interest in my own life  turning away from whatever is unpleasant or difficult  thinking that there is nothing I can do to improve my life  being numb and emotionally unavailable  refusing to see my own aggressions  ignoring problems until they become unbearable  all dependency and fear of being on my own  all wishful thinking and giving up too soon  neglecting myself and my own legitimate needs

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 35  seeking quick, easy solutions to my problems  feeling threatened by significant changes in my life  losing myself in comforting habits and routines  thinking that most things are just too much trouble  all inattentiveness and forgetfulness  living through others and not developing myself

I NOW AFFIRM...

 that I am confident, strong and independent  that I develop my mind and think things through  that I am awake and alert to the world around me  that I am proud of myself and my abilities  that I am steadfast and dependable in difficult times  that I look deeply into myself without fear  that I am excited about my future  that I am a powerful, healing force in my world  that I actively embrace all that life brings

6. HOW DO I RECOGNISE AND SHARE THE FOLLOWING GIFTS WITH OTHERS?

AM I...? PLEASANT, PEACEFUL, GENEROUS, PATIENT, RECEPTIVE, DIPLOMATIC, OPEN- MINDED, EMPATHIC? [OR SPACED-OUT, FORGETFUL, STUBBORN, OBSESSIVE, APATHETIC, PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE, JUDGMENTAL, UNASSERTIVE?]

7. SOME THOUGHTS OF MARY MAZZARELLO DON BOSCO AND FRANCIS DE SALES - SERENITY & PEACE:

(A) MARY MAZZARELLO

Let nothing disturb you, so that everything might help us to acquire true happiness (Letters, 26)

Never get discouraged with any difficulty; take everything from the hands of Jesus, put all your confidence in Him and hope everything from Him. (Letters, 65)

There is no need to worry, remember that there will always be defects, we must correct and remedy whatever we can, but always with great calm, leaving everything in the hands of God. (Letters, 25)

(B) DON BOSCO

True peace is found in a clean and pure conscience in the service of the Lord. (MB: II, 385)

For peace in the house be humble and tolerant. (MB: VII, 509)

Salesian Co-operator Formation Programme - 1998 page 36 To be at peace with God and with our neighbour, first of all, we must be at peace with ourselves. (MB: XI, 363)

Your principal intention in communicating should be to advance, comfort and strengthen yourself in the love of God, for you must receive through love that which love alone caused to be given to you. (Introduction to the Devout Life)

END OF DOCUMENT

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