Period 3 Group Study of Grief and the Secret Life of Bees

Period 3 Group Study of Grief and The Secret Life of Bees

Article Title: "When Children Grieve" Author: Susan Black Source: American School Board Journal; Aug2005, Vol. 192 Issue 8, p28-30, 3p. Date of Access: March 16, 2010 Database: Education Research Complete. EBSCOhost.

Joe Jabra, Chameli Amparo, Kathryn Efthimiades, Nicole Lopez, Natalie Arcila

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection "forgotten mourners" pg. 29, Lily T. Ray seems to ignore the fact that paragraph 1 Lily is hurting (Kidd___).

Lily "Despite his kindergarten teachers It relates to Lily because they are disapproval, Aidan repeatedly both doing things that involved their recreated the twin towers with parents although their actions aren't blocks wondering aloud if he could the most beneficial. For example, the have saved his dad if he would've same way the boy is obsessed with been with him." (paragraph ____) the twin towers, Lily is obsessed with her mother's glove, pictures, and other items in the tin box (Kidd 13- 14). Robert, the young boy in the article, Lily Lily fell into a depression after her fell into a depression after his mother mother died (Kidd ___). died (paragraph 1)

Notes: ______

Article Title: Childhood Traumatic Grief Educational Materials Author: Robin F Goodman, PhD, Judith Cohen, MD, Carrie Epstein, CSW, Matthew Kliethermes, PhD, Christopher Layne, PhD, Robert Macy, PhD, Dottie Ward-Wimmer, MA Source: National Child Traumatic Stress Network Childhood Traumatic Grief Task Force Educational Materials Subcommittee, 2004, http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/reports/parents_package1-15-04.pdf Date of Access: March 16, 2010

Bright Mensah, Carey Colacurcio, Ashley Rose, Yesenia Sigca

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection "...if the child witnessed or learned of Lily Lily's parents were fighting and her horrific details surrounding the mom was packing her bags to leave. death..." Lily wasn't sure if her mom was leaving her dad or her. She shot her mother accidentally and now she feels responsible for her mother's death. This connects to the article because she witnessed the horrific details surrounding her mother's death so it is harder for her to accept the death (Kidd 7-8).

"When I saw the gun in her hand, I ran toward her, clumsy and falling, wanting to save her, to save us all" (Kidd 7).

"This is what I know about myself. she was all I wanted. and I took her away" (Kidd 8).

Notes: ______

Article Title: Do men Grieve Differently from Women? Author: Elizabeth Harper Neeld, Ph.D. Source: Legacy Connect: Grief support groups, expert advice on grieving, mourning and bereavement, 2010. http://www.connect.legacy.com/inspire/page/show?id=1984035%3APage%3A2170 Date of Access: March 16, 2010

Bright Mensah, Carey Colacurcio, Ashley Rose, Yesenia Sigca

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection The article explained how men may Lily In the house full of beekeepers, Lily cope with hard struggles in their life grieves more over her mother. She and how women cope with grief. It feels her mother's presence in the said, "a female model of grief, house. Lily states she feels that her however, emphasizes connection mother ran away to this place as rather than disengagement and well. To help Lily deal with her separation". Females are more mother's death, she writes her mom's comfortable saying certain things, name on paper and puts it in the where men grieve by themselves wailing wall (Kidd 96-98). It was a (paragraph _____). way to lift the burden off her shoulders. Later, Lily goes to the beekeepers to help her grieve by asking about her mother. Also, Lily holds on to her mother's things as a way to stay connected to her (Kidd 13-14). In the male model of grief, men "will T. Ray After the death of his wife, T. Ray keep grief to themselves, work hard also probably grieved, but he showed to avoid losing control in front of it differently. He spent all his time others, and refrain from asking for managing his peach orchards and help or assistance" (paragraph ____). selling peaches (Kidd ___).

Notes: ______

Article Title: Sibling Loss Fact Sheet Sibling Death and Childhood Traumatic Grief: Information for Families. Author: National Child Traumatic Stress Network Child Traumatic Grief Committee. Source: Los Angeles, CA & Durham, NC: National Center for Child Traumatic Stress (2009) http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/Sibling_Loss_Final.pdf Date of Access: March 16, 2010

Kathleen Roman, Atira Edwards, Andrew Joan, Eric Ramos, Steven Paguay, Jared Carter

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection Feelings of helplessness or May "When April died, something in May hopelessness (paragraph 3) died too. She was never normal after that" (Kidd 96).

"May rocked back and forth, slapping her arms and scratching at her face. She tore open her blouse so that pale yellow buttons went flying like popped corn" (Kidd 89).

Questions related to their beliefs and May "'Wailing wall,' she said. 'Like they faith (paragraph 11). have in Jerusalem. The Jewish people go there to mourn. It's a way for them to deal with their suffering. See they write their prayers on scraps of paper and tuck them in the wall.' 'And that's what May does?' August nodded. 'All those bits of paper you see out there stuck between the stones are things May has written down--all the heavy feelings she carries around. It seems like the only thing that helps her" (Kidd 97). Feeling vulnerable and afraid May "It seemed like the world itself (paragraph 5) became May's twin sister" (Kidd 97). Notes: ______

Article Title: Family Reorganization After A Loss Author: Therese Rando, Ph.D. Source: Legacy Connect: Grief support groups, expert advice on grieving, mourning and bereavement, 2010. http://www.connect.legacy.com/inspire/page/show?id=1984035%3APage%3A2481 Date of Access: March 16, 2010

Katarina Dimovska, Cindy Navarro, Samantha Nugent, Ruth Sibri

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection Whenever a family member dies, Lily Lily accidentally killed her mother there is a process that a healthy (Kidd 7) and now she's been made to family undergoes in response to the take on the role of the wife. She loss of one of its own (Rando 1). cooks, cleans, works and does everything for her father This Lastly, you should be aware of the family's process has not been healthy serious consequences of roles that are because Lily has been made to take not reassigned suitably to family on an unfair role. members (Rando 2). Passage proving Lily's unfair role?

Notes: ______

Article Title: People Grieve Differently Author: Jinny Tesik, M.A. Source: SAVE Suicide Awareness Voices of Education © 2003- 2010. http://www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=EB91B16C-7E90-9BD4-C33DBD8E013C1857 Date of Access: March 16, 2010

Ashley Acosta, Melissa Crosby, Jessica Fantuzzi, Jonathan Barrios, Kehinde John, Zandra Alvarez

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection "No two people will ever grieve the Lily and T. Ray T. Ray shows grief through anger as same way, with the same intensity or Lily is showing it through regret and the same duration (p 1, paragraph 1) sadness (Kidd 3 and Kidd 5). "The circumstances surrounding the Lily Lily shot her own mom accidentally death, i.e. how the death occurred, and because she feels responsible for are extremely important in it, she is struggling to accept the loss determining how we are going to (Kidd 7-8). come to an acceptance of loss (p 2, paragraph 4). "What has our previous mental April April suffers from depression and health history been like? Have we kills herself because of this history had bouts with depression? Have we with depression (Kidd 96-98). harbored suicidal thoughts? (p 1, paragraph 7). "It is not only the person, but also Lily and May Lily lost her mother and never got to the role that person played in our life know her. Now she feels as though that is lost" (p 2, paragraph 3). the role a mother would play has been lost (Kidd 7-8; Kidd 3).

May has a closer relationship with April than the other sisters because they are twins. This is why May struggles more with April's death (Kidd 96-98).

Notes: ______Period 7 Group Study of Grief and The Secret Life of Bees

Gabriella Nava, Naronique Duncan, Brian Onfroy, Jaleel Wright, Bradly Guerra

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection "Robert, a 14 year old whose mother Lily “All I wanted was not to ache so died of cancer a few years ago says at much. I wanted to let go of my first he was numb with grief, then feelings for a little while. I pressed depressed” (pg 1, paragraph 1) the paper with her name into a cranny that seemed right for her, giving her to the wailing wall” (Kidd 101).

Here, Lily, is feeling depressed and a constant numbing ache of grief.

“15 to 17 year olds …feel May “When April died something in May overwhelmed by survivors’ died too. She never was normal after emotional dependence and grief; that. It seemed like the world itself grieve in adultlike ways with sadness became May’s twin sister” (Kidd 97). and painful memories…Complicated May feels overwhelmed by grief and grief includes mood swings…” (pg 3) experiences extreme mood swings. She experiences fits where she scratches at herself (Kidd 89). “6 to 8 year olds…assume blame and Lily “Once in a while, though, some guilt for the death; mourn through caring soul would say, ‘Just put it out stories, pictures, and remembrances” of your head Lily. It was an accident. (pg. 2). Children this age tend to You didn’t mean to do it” (Kidd 3). assume blame and guilt for death. This shows that Lily is expressing guilt over her mother’s death and that others try to convince her that it is not her fault. Also, Lily states, “She was all I wanted. And I took her away” (Kidd 8). Furthermore, Lily mourns through her mother’s items (Kidd 13-14).

Notes: ______Article Title: Childhood Traumatic Grief Educational Materials Author: Robin F Goodman, PhD, Judith Cohen, MD, Carrie Epstein, CSW, Matthew Kliethermes, PhD, Christopher Layne, PhD, Robert Macy, PhD, Dottie Ward-Wimmer, MA Source: National Child Traumatic Stress Network Childhood Traumatic Grief Task Force Educational Materials Subcommittee, 2004, http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/reports/parents_package1-15-04.pdf Date of Access: March 16, 2010

Alexandrina Itile, Chandler Farro, Kacey Lyzell, Mariah Gibson, Kyesa King

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection “Reliving aspects of the person’s Lily “The afternoon my mother died…” death…” (bullet 1) (Kidd 6). Lily is constantly reliving the circumstances of her mother’s death. She sometimes lies awake at night thinking about her mother’s death and playing with her mother’s old belongings.

“Increased arousal, being nervous May “May rocked back and forth, slapping and jumpy or having trouble her arms and scratching at her face.” sleeping…” (bullet 3) (Kidd 89).

“It seemed like the world itself became May’s twin sister” (Kidd 97).

May has become very sensitive to death and pain in general. She exhibits increased arousal.

Notes: ______

Article Title: Sibling Loss Fact Sheet Sibling Death and Childhood Traumatic Grief: Information for Families. Author: National Child Traumatic Stress Network Child Traumatic Grief Committee. Source: Los Angeles, CA & Durham, NC: National Center for Child Traumatic Stress (2009) http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/Sibling_Loss_Final.pdf Date of Access: March 16, 2010

Maria Galaraza, Raymond Willis, Kyndrea Smith, Melissa Alvarez, Diego Rodriguez Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection Feelings of helplessness or May "When April died, something in May hopelessness. After losing a cherished died too. She was never normal after brother or sister, surviving children that…It seemed like the world itself may feel adrift and lonely. They may became May’s twin sister” (Kidd 97). give up, not enjoy life, or in extreme cases, feel they want to join the May feels like she won’t ever get sibling and think about their own over the death of her sister and death. Sometimes they may feel there’s nothing anyone can do to suicidal or even talk about suicide.” help her. She no longer truly enjoys (paragraph 3) life and struggles to deal with other situations of grief. Additionally, later in the book May also considers taking her own life.

“Regrets and guilt about previous Lily In this case, although Lily did not ‘bad’ behavior. Surviving siblings lose a sibling, but a mother, she quote may express regrets or remorse about applies because she feels guilt over things they did or said to the sibling her mother’s death and over having who died” (paragraph 9). not gotten the chance to know her mother better. In the passage, Lily is fantasizing about being with her mother in heaven and asking for forgiveness. She feels guilty for killing her mother. “’Mother forgive. Please forgive’ and she would kiss my skin till it grew chapped and tell me I was not to blame” (Kidd 3).

Notes: ______

Article Title: Family Reorganization After A Loss Author: Therese Rando, Ph.D. Source: Legacy Connect: Grief support groups, expert advice on grieving, mourning and bereavement, 2010. http://www.connect.legacy.com/inspire/page/show?id=1984035%3APage%3A2481 Date of Access: March 16, 2010

Jerell McFadden, David Lopez, David E. Lopez, Stephen Aiellos, Bryan Vargas

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection Whenever a family member dies, Lily In Lily’s case, her mother dies, but there is a process that a healthy chores and roles aren’t evenly family undergoes in response to the distributed. Lily is forced to cook, loss of one of its own. This process is clean and work when she is only a 14 called role reorganization (Rando 1). year old girl. (Kidd 15). The way this family has been reorganized is not healthy.

Lastly, you should be aware of the T. Ray T. Ray gives Lily an inappropriate serious consequences of roles that are role for a child, such as expecting her not reassigned suitably to family to bring in income. “After my members. If you give someone a role morning of capturing bees, I spent that is inappropriate for them, for the afternoon in the peach stand out example, asking a little boy to be the on the highway selling T. Ray’s man around the house…”(Rando 2). peaches. It was the loneliest summer job a girl could have” (Kidd 15). “Anything that affects your family May The death of April affected May (an will often affect its individual individual member of the family) members” (Rando, 1, paragraph 3). causing her to have a nervous breakdown and to struggle to adjust to a new life without April. “May rocked back and forth slapping her arms and scratching her face” (Kidd 89). Also, the death of April affected August and June because they now had to figure out a way to go on and to take care of their sister May who seems to be the most traumatized.

Notes: ______

Lorena Fernandez, Shamika Curry, Jazmine Chinga, Kevin Guerrero, Ben Gordon

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection "Past experiences from childhood May “She was upset over a negro man have a great impact on how we are named Mr. Raines who was killed by able to handle loss in the present” a shot-gun…May rocked back and (paragraph 5) forth, slapping her arms and scratching at her face…” (Kidd 89) Also, May’s experience with her twin sister’s death, likely affects the way she currently handles loss. Because her sister died in such a horrible way and it destroyed a piece of her, now she becomes very upset whenever an incident of death or misfortune occurs.

"Was there time to prepare, time to Lily Lily’s life changed before her eyes in gradually come to terms with the a matter of minutes. One moment inevitable? Or did the death come so her mother was with her and the suddenly that there was no next she was gone. Pages 7-8 explain anticipation of its arrival?” how Lily accidently killed her (paragraph ____). mother with a gun and she says how she was all she had and she took her mother’s life. Everything happened so fast that even remembering it now is a blur to her. The fact that Lily didn’t have time to prepare is making her mother’s death difficult to deal with (Kidd 7-8).

"It is not only the person, but also T. Ray and Lily Lily lost her mother and never got to the role that person played in our life know her. Now she feels as though that is lost. How major was that the role a mother would play has role?" (p 2, paragraph 3). been lost (Kidd 7-8; Kidd 3).

“I spent the afternoon in the peach stand out on the highway, selling T. Ray’s peaches. It was the loneliest summer job a girl could have…” (Kidd___).

Since T. Ray has lost his wife, Lily is the only other female in his life, so he feels she should take on the wife role by cooking, cleaning and, according to this quote, working in his peach stand.

Notes: ______Period 9 Group Study of Grief and The Secret Life of Bees

Emmenet Scott, Zania Chambers, Marlon Williams Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection "The depression faded, but Robert’s May May’s twin sister commited suicide loneliness persisted” (paragraph 1). and ever since, May hasn’t been the same. The depression faded a little but she still feels lonely as she was closer to her twin sister than to her other sisters. “When April died, something in May died too” (Kidd 97). “The two of them were like on soul sharing two bodies” (Kidd 98). So now May feels lonely and empty as her other half is gone.

"To fill the emptiness he wrote Lily Lily has been filled with emptiness poetry and tried to hold onto a very ever since her mom died. She tries distant memory of his mother” desperately to find out who her (paragraph 1). mother was and so she treasures the little that she has left of her. “For years now I’d kept these things of hers inside a tin box, buried in the orchard” (Kidd 14). “Now and then I’d go out there and dig up the box” (Kidd 14). She wants to keep every memory she has of her. “But grief often submerges and re- Lily Lily has been dealing with the loss of emerges in varying intensity, for her mother for years now. The grief months and years” (paragraph 2). re-emerges most when she’s alone. “My mother died when I was 14 years old” (Kidd 2). “That night I lay in bed and thought about going to be with my mother in paradise” (Kidd 3). Presently, Lily is 14 years old and she still thinks deeply about the death of her mother. Her grief continues to linger. Notes: ______

Article Title: Childhood Traumatic Grief Educational Materials Author: Robin F Goodman, PhD, Judith Cohen, MD, Carrie Epstein, CSW, Matthew Kliethermes, PhD, Christopher Layne, PhD, Robert Macy, PhD, Dottie Ward-Wimmer, MA Source: National Child Traumatic Stress Network Childhood Traumatic Grief Task Force Educational Materials Subcommittee, 2004, http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/reports/parents_package1-15-04.pdf Date of Access: March 16, 2010 Erik Hammond, Brianna Page, Lillian Lamptey, Carlos Reyes

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection Children may be more likely to Lily Lily shot her mother accidentally and experience traumatic grief if the now she feels responsible for her death was sudden or traumatic mother's death. This connects to the (paragraph 1). article because she witnessed the horrific details surrounding her mother's death so it is harder for her to accept the death (Kidd 7-8).

When a sibling dies, the family faces May When April died, it was as though a a unique set of challenges (paragraph part of May died too. She has 3). struggled to get over the death and it seems as if she feels the pain of the world. All of her sisters had to take care of her and come up with a way to help her cope (Kidd 96-98). So, the family faced and still faces a unique set of challenges. “…Reliving aspects of the person’s Lily She always goes back to the day of death or having intrusive thoughts” her mom’s death. She thinks about it (paragraph 1). all the time (Kidd 8).

Notes: ______Article Title: Sibling Loss Fact Sheet Sibling Death and Childhood Traumatic Grief: Information for Families. Author: National Child Traumatic Stress Network Child Traumatic Grief Committee. Source: Los Angeles, CA & Durham, NC: National Center for Child Traumatic Stress (2009) http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/Sibling_Loss_Final.pdf Date of Access: March 16, 2010

Dominique Sanchez, Alyssa Meli, Carlos Morales, Matt Carroll, Luis Castellanos, Pamela Molina

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection “Avoiding reminders of the deceased May “It was Rosaleen who figured out the sibling…” (paragraph 7). Surviving mystery of Oh Susanna! She said if children may avoid people, places, or you kept things on a happy note, may things that remind them of the did fine, but bring up an unpleasant sibling who died because these things subject—like Rosaleen’s head full of trigger memories of the death itself. stitches or the tomatoes having rot- This avoidance may not be obviously bottom-and May would…” (Kidd 85). related to the death. So even though this is not obviously related to the death of her sister, May is still struggling because any death reminds her of the death of her sister.

“Ongoing connections with the May "I think most children might have let deceased sibling. The sibling who that roll on by, but it did something has died may remain an influence in to April…" (Kidd 97). This page the surviving children’s lives. discusses how the fact that April Although this can be comforting…” could not allow things that happened (paragraph 10). in the world to roll of her back and killed herself as a result, has affected May. Now May struggles with the same issue. Everything bothers her.

Notes: ______Article Title: Family Reorganization After A Loss Author: Therese Rando, Ph.D. Source: Legacy Connect: Grief support groups, expert advice on grieving, mourning and bereavement, 2010. http://www.connect.legacy.com/inspire/page/show?id=1984035%3APage%3A2481 Date of Access: March 16, 2010

Kevin Kissoon, Nicole Melillo, Mike Tenezaca, Jose Uben, Alexis Aquino

Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection Whenever a family member dies, Lily Lily accidentally killed her mother there is a process that a healthy (Kidd 7) and now she's been made to family undergoes in response to the take on the role of the wife. She loss of one of its own (Rando 1). cooks, cleans, works and does everything for her father This It occurs because the family needs to family's process has not been healthy get itself back into the rhythm and because Lily has been made to take balance that it lost when the family on an unfair role. member died. Many times families are not even aware of what they are doing, but it is an important process nonetheless. The first principle is that anything Lily The death of Lily’s mom affected her that affects your family will affect its in a dramatic way. She became individual members, and anything traumatized due to her loss. This that affects the individual affects the leads to Lily’s traumatized life. Lily family. (____) shows how affected she is by her mom’s death when she begins to sleep with her mother’s belongings (Kidd 23) and runs away without thinking of the consequences (Kidd 41). The second principle concerns Lily and T. Ray This is like the life of bees where if balance. Like any other system, your there isn’t a queen bee then the family works to maintain itself on an family isn’t stable and bees begin to even keel; it struggles to maintain its show signs of queenlessness (Kidd 1). equilibrium. To keep the family Without Lily’s mother in the family, functioning on track, each family both T. Ray and Lily are develops specific roles for each disconnected and there is no stability person and establishes rules, in the family. communication patterns, family expectations, and patterns of behavior which keep the family operating in a consistent and stable fashion” (____)

Notes: ______

Vincent Lumapin, Milton Maldonado, Jaron Jones, Ramon Castellaos, Taylor Person Article Passage Character Name Novel Connection Circumstances for the death Lily, T. Ray, and May May—sister committed suicide (Kidd influence how we deal with it (p 2, 97); this has influenced how May paragraph 4) deals with the death and explains why she struggles emotionally.

Lily and T. Ray—Lily killed her mother accidentally and cannot forgive herself. Past experiences from childhood on, May Because May’s sister killed herself have a great impact on how we are and experienced depression because able to handle loss in the present of inequality in the world, May now (____). struggles to deal with death that occurs in the world (Kidd 97). “When a person who is part of our May June and August took May to get life dies, understanding uniqueness outside help from doctors, and of this loss can guide us in finding eventually came up with the wailing the support we will need and to wall in order to help her cope. They recognize when help should come were able to give support as well as from outside the family (____). recognize when they needed outside help (Kidd 97).

Notes: ______