Chapter 2: Types of Sexual Violence

Types of Sexual Violence

CHAPTER 2: TYPES OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE

Sexual violence is violence motivated by power and control. It is encouraged in circumstances where some people hold power over others. In a society that values men over women, rape and the threat of rape are used as a means of control over all women. When we talk about sexual violence we are not referring to a single physical act. We are considering a continuum of behaviors that run the gamut from catcalls on the street to a gang rape in a fraternity house to homicidal rape. While women and children are the primary targets of sexual violence, males are also victimized.

Generally speaking, those who are perceived as vulnerable are targeted for sexual violence. Vulnerability may be based on size, strength, mental and physical ability, and other variables that give the assailant power over the victim.

Sexual violence and the threat of sexual violence permeate our society. As a result, the fear of sexual violence deeply affects how women conduct their lives.

While not everyone experiences the threat of sexual violence in the same way, the majority of women have experienced some form of male sexual aggression.

The purpose of this chapter is to explore the continuum of sexual violence – the forms it takes and its effects on survivors. In reading this chapter, you will find information regarding the types of sexual violence, their definition and rates of incidence. In addition, information regarding the impact of the different types of victimization is included. This should help you begin to understand how social attitudes are connected to each survivor’s reactions to victimization.

Independent Study Curriculum 2-1 Issued 9/04 Types of Sexual Violence

Your challenge as a sexual assault worker is to strike a balance between being aware enough not to recoil from a survivor’s story while at the same time being sensitive to the significance of the individual’s experience. The information in this chapter will lay a foundation on which you will build a more complete understanding of the issue of sexual violence that will increase your comfort level with survivors.

With time and experience, you will gain confidence.

The types of sexual violence covered in this chapter include: Stranger Rape,

Acquaintance Rape, Marital Rape, Same-Sex Victimization, and Sexual Harassment.

Each section consists of two parts: the first describes the type of sexual violence and provides some statistical information regarding its prevalence; the second provides a brief glimpse at the impact victims of each type of assault may experience. Handouts providing a comprehensive look at the consequences of sexual assault and contact information on sexual harassment are provided at the end of this chapter.

It is important to note that while we attempt here to highlight some of the differences in impact among the types of sexual violence, victim share many common experiences in the aftermath of a sexual assault. At some point, most survivors of sexual assault experience some level of powerlessness, self-blame, guilt and fear of not being believed.

Stranger Rape

Stranger rape, or sexual assault perpetrated by someone unknown to the victim, was once thought to be the most common experience of rape. We now know

Independent Study Curriculum 2-2 Issued 08/04 Types of Sexual Violence that is not the case. In fact, one study found that only 22% of perpetrators are strangers to the victims. In spite of this, the myth of the man hiding in the bushes or in the dark parking lot is what women have been conditioned to fear most.

Another common myth regarding stranger rape is that it is a random act perpetrated by a crazy person overcome by physical urges. In fact, interviews with rapists reveal that most sexual assaults are planned. Many rapists stalk a particular victim over time, while others may plan to rape at a specific time and choose a victim they encounter and perceive as vulnerable. Most perpetrators of stranger rape are like the people we know. They have families, jobs and access to consensual sex.

The unsettling reality of stranger rape is that it can happen at any time, to anyone and in a variety of settings. What is difficult about these facts is the realization that no woman can protect herself from being raped. Although you can try to avoid potentially dangerous situations, you cannot conduct your life so as to guarantee you will not be raped.

Some specific issues that arise for survivors of stranger rape include a heightened sense of fear, perhaps about specific places or times of day. A survivor may be afraid to return to the scene of the attack or to leave her home at all. If the assault happened in her home, she may no longer feel safe there either. The seeming randomness of the act may generate a mistrust of all strangers, particularly those that remind her of the assailant. If the perpetrator is not caught, she may fear his return.

In addition, survivors of stranger rape may also experience trauma and confusion regarding the myths she has been taught about rape and how to avoid it.

Self-blame and “what if” questions may torment her. She will need to be reminded

Independent Study Curriculum 2-3 Issued 08/04 Types of Sexual Violence she did nothing wrong. The survivor may also have increased fears about pregnancy,

AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections.

Acquaintance/Date Rape

Acquaintance rape is an umbrella term used to describe sexual assault by a perpetrator who is known to the victim. The perpetrator may be a passing acquaintance or someone the victim knows intimately: a partner, husband, ex-partner, co-worker, neighbor, friend, doctor, therapist, health worker or religious leader. Date rape is a specific kind of acquaintance rape that occurs during a date. Date rape awareness has increased over the last twenty years, with increased focus on women and girls of college and high school age.

Only as women have come forward to tell their stories, and have identified their experiences as rape survivors, have we come to understand that most sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone the victim knows. Consider these statistics:

 78% of rapes are committed by a person the victim knows;

 Approximately 35% of victims are raped by acquaintances, 28% by husbands or boyfriends and 5% by other relatives.

Most acquaintance rapes can be divided into three distinct stages. These steps are usually carried out in such a way as to be unrecognizable to the victim:

 Intrusion may include touching (sexual or non-sexual), suggestive remarks, or intimate conversation.

 Desensitization occurs when the perpetrator has insinuated himself into the victim’s life, through dates, conversations and/or shared relationships. The victim becomes unable to pick up on warning signs that would have otherwise been obvious to her with someone less familiar.

 Isolation occurs when the perpetrator actively isolates the victim so he can assault her.

The fact that survivors of date and acquaintance rape know their perpetrators greatly affects their experience of the assault and their feelings in the aftermath. In general, the more intimate the relationship between the perpetrator and the survivor, the less likely the victim will report the assault. In fact, 38% of college women surveyed reported sexual assaults that met the legal definition of rape or attempted rape; only 1 in 25 of these women reported their assault to the police. Younger victims, for example those in high school, often fear having their families notified, perhaps because they were engaging in some forbidden activity such as breaking curfew, using alcohol or drugs, etc. If she does report, the victim may fear she won’t be believed or that others won’t consider it a “real rape.”

Often, the survivor herself believes that it was not a rape because she let him in the house, agreed to go out with him, kissed him, or even engaged in some sexual activity. The guilt experienced by survivors of acquaintance rape can be overwhelming. They almost always feel at least partially responsible for the assault.

In dating situations, many societal myths regarding sexual activity contribute to this guilt. In a survey of adolescents, 51% of the boys and 41% of the girls said forced sex was acceptable if the boy “spent a lot of money” on the girl, and 65% of the boys and 47% of the girls said it was acceptable for a boy to rape a girl if they had been dating for more than six months. Such beliefs about sex and myths about sexual expectations between the genders must be addressed with survivors of date rape.

Another issue for acquaintance rape victims is continued contact with the perpetrator.

The survivor may have regular contact with the perpetrator if he is a co-worker or attends the same school, etc. Her fear of further victimization and the humiliation of public exposure need to be addressed. Her safety concerns need to be validated as real concerns that need serious attention.

Marital Rape

Marital rape is a kind of acquaintance rape in that it is a term used to describe rape by the most intimate of acquaintances: the spouse. Although the term marital rape is most commonly used to describe sexual assault between a male and female who are legally married, sexual violence in long-term heterosexual relationships and in relationships between lesbians and gay men share many characteristics of violence within marriage.

Historically, marital rape was not considered a crime. As recently as 1990, 26 states still treated at least some forms of spouse rape as non-criminal, and eight states still did not criminalize spouse rape at all. Today, marital rape is a crime in all fifty states.

However, under certain circumstances, many states still have limitations on charging husbands in the rape of a spouse. Even with laws in place, however, victims are unlikely to report rape by husbands or long-term partners. Many people still believe that a woman should be sexually available to her husband at all times.

Due to personal and societal barriers to reporting, the prevalence of marital rape, like all rape, is probably higher than we are aware. However, following are some statistics that help shed light on this form of sexual violence.

 A national survey found that 10% of all sexual assault cases reported by women involved a husband or ex-husband attacker.

 Studies of battered women living in shelters and women seeking relationship help conclude that one-third to three-quarters of those women reported sexual assaults by their husbands or intimate partners.

 Men who are physically violent toward their partners are also likely to use violence toward children.

 Results of a 1997 study of sexual coercion within gay and lesbian relationships indicated that 53% of the total sample reported had experienced at least one incident of sexual coercion.

Three broad categories of marital rape have been identified: battering rapes, non-battering rapes and obsessive rapes. They are briefly described below.

 Battering rapes are the most physically brutal. They occur in relationships where there is a large amount of physical abuse. The husbands tend to have problems with substance abuse and enormous reservoirs of anger. The rapes tend to have less to do with sexual issues than with the rapist’s intense desire to punish, humiliate, degrade and retaliate against his wife using rape as the weapon.

 Non-battering rapes occur in marriages where there is much less history of violence and abuse. The precipitant for these rapes tends to be centered around a specific sexual issue, for example, when to have sex and what kind to have. The force involved tends to be more restrained; enough to gain sexual access but not enough to cause severe injury. These rapes tend to be motivated less by anger and more by a desire to assert power, establish control, teach a lesson or show who is boss.

 Obsessive rapes involve husbands with unusual sexual preoccupations. Most are obsessed with pornography and want their wives to help them make it. Obsessions with their sexual problems are also prominent. They fear impotence or homosexuality. The husbands often have highly structured rituals about sex, forcing certain positions, actions or fantasies.

Three specific issues occur with marital rape:

 Betrayal – Victims of marital rape suffer profound betrayal. Coming to terms with the fact that someone they loved, needed and trusted could violate them in such a way can destroy their ability to trust others.

 Entrapment – The component of entrapment is unique to marital rape situations. Most victims of marital rape are raped repeatedly. They live for months and even years with on-going violation. Some survivors endure on-going assaults to protect their children from violence. Children are another reason many women stay in abusive situations. Many others cannot leave for economic reasons. Survivors routinely suffer from chronic terror, emotional numbing, involuntary panic and repetitive nightmares that may last years after the threat of rape is gone. When a stranger rapes a woman she has to live with a frightening memory; when a woman is raped by her partner, she has to live with her rapist.

 Isolation – Finally, while all rape victims suffer shame and stigma, few suffer the total isolation of marital rape. Because many people still believe a woman should always be sexually available to her husband, there are often no relatives or friends to commiserate with the victim about the pain. Because most victims do not report the abuse, no police or court will validate that they were wronged. In their isolation, victims usually blame themselves, and see themselves as inadequate and different. Calls from marital rape victims are quite common on rape crisis hotlines. Volunteers must be aware of the context of physical violence that often accompanies these calls.

Same-Sex Victimization

In order to understand same-sex sexual assault, it is important to understand homophobia and its internalized and externalized impact. Furthermore, it is important to recognize that, although violence exists within gay communities, it is no more prevalent than in heterosexual communities. Homosexuality is not a cause of sexual violence.

The anti-rape movement has accurately described the rape of females as hate violence. However, it is important to recognize that sexual violence is not just a phenomenon of the myth of male supremacy, but is also used as a tool of control and domination by women over other women and men over other men. As we continue to develop our feminist analysis of rape, we must include the research and anecdotal evidence of same-sex rape in our studies. Thus far the lack of attention to same-sex rape has left many survivors without culturally competent support and, therefore, with few resources for healing.

Same-sex sexual assault may include forced vaginal or anal penetration, forced oral sex, forced touching, or any other type of forced sexual activity. Same-sex sexual assault can happen on a date; between friends, partners, or strangers; and in employment situations. It can also interrupt an otherwise consensual sexual experience. Because of institutionalized homophobia, same-sex survivors are even less likely than opposite-sex survivors to report the assault to the police or seek counseling after it occurs. Because of these barriers and others affecting survivors of sexual assault, survivors of same-sex sexual assault do not regularly seek support services. Thus, there is very little statistical data compiled about same-sex violence.

Though there are differences between same-sex and opposite-sex rape, the sexual assault worker does not focus solely on those differences. Survivors of same- sex sexual violence may experience the same emotional reactions that opposite-sex survivors do. These reactions may include a variety of feelings and moods, nightmares, flashbacks, and so on. In addition, same-sex survivors may also have to cope with feelings of betrayal, and other more specific barriers, including:

 Not being taken seriously or having their experience minimized;

 Not having their experience labeled as sexual assault or rape;

 Having to explain how it happened in more detail than one would ask a survivor of opposite-sex assault;

 Having to educate those they reach out to about homosexuality as well as sexual assault;

 Having their experiences sensationalized;

 Increasing people's homophobia or being seen as a traitor to their community if they tell their story to straight people;

 Having fewer people to talk to (because the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community is a smaller community);

 Mistakenly being seen as the perpetrator (especially if the survivor is more masculine or “butch”);

 Being blamed for the assault – “You could have screamed, run away, said no more assertively”;

 Not being understood or being blamed if the assault happened in a sadomasochistic environment;

 Being treated in a homophobic manner by the police, the hospital, the rape crisis center, and others who focus on their sexual orientation rather than on the assault;

 Being “outed,” or having their homosexuality revealed, when it hadn’t been previously;

 Having the focus be on their possible sexual orientation rather than the trauma of the assault.

All rape crisis centers can benefit from learning more about same-sex sexual assault, regardless of our own sexual orientation or the degree to which we have been affected by sexual violence. It is vitally important that rape crisis centers seek out and have available to them appropriate and sensitive referrals to gay friendly services.

Ultimately, a more accurate and inclusive analysis of sexual violence will lead to the development of effective strategies to eliminate all kinds of sexual violence.

Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment is another weapon of power and control used to threaten, silence and abuse women and girls in the workplace and school. It is still largely disregarded as a form of violence against women, even while reports of sexual harassment are on the rise.

Judith Berman Brandenburg defines sexual harassment as “unwanted sexual attention that would be offensive to a reasonable person and that negatively affects the work or school environment.” The critical element in almost all definitions of sexual harassment is unwanted sexual attention. Any of the following acts may be considered sexual harassment: unwelcome sexual advances, either physical or verbal; dirty jokes or stories; comments about one’s body; obscene gestures; requests for sexual favors, or inappropriate references to gender or sexual orientation. Although same-sex sexual harassment exists and men are harassed by women, the majority of sexual harassment is instigated by men who threaten women and boys who harass girls.

In 1997, a report indicated that sexual harassment complaints filed with the

U.S. Department of Education rose from twenty-five cases filed in 1991 to seventy- eight cases filed in 1996. Cases filed against kindergarten through twelfth grade

Independent Study Curriculum 2-11 Issued 08/04 Types of Sexual Violence institutions had increased from eleven in 1991 to seventy-two in 1996. Almost all of these cases involved students.

Women and girls have often viewed their experiences of sexual harassment as

“part of the job” or “part of going to school.” For many women of color, sexual harassment and even rape have often played a critical role in their history of oppression. Enslaved women, undocumented workers and young girls often work in conditions where their male bosses repeatedly harass or even rape them. Women feel forced to keep the jobs because they are “property,” do not speak the language of their oppressor, or have to support families. Survivors may also not report for a variety of other reasons, including they do not understand the definition of sexual harassment, they blame themselves, they do not know how to report the harassment, they do not think reporting will make a difference, they do not want to get the harasser in trouble

(particularly a person of authority or prominence), they think they are being foolish, they do not think they will get support, or they are being physically threatened by the harasser.

Since not all victims of sexual harassment are able to leave the abusive situation, it is important to understand some of the common issues experienced by different groups of survivors.

A woman in the workplace may fear:

 That no one believes her;

 That she won’t be viewed as a “team player;”

 Being fired and not able to find other employment;

 Having to change careers because she is marked as a troublemaker (especially in professions with few women);

 Loss of home or other property due to a lawsuit and loss of income;

 As an undocumented worker, that she may not be able to find another job or that she may be deported;

 Having to keep working at the job without reporting because she needs the income;

 Having to keep giving the boss sexual favors because she cannot afford to leave the job;

 Continuing to work alone with the harasser;

 Alienation from co-workers;

 Having to endure further harassment from co-workers, family, and/or friends if she goes public with the abuse;

 As a single mother, that she will lose her children if she does not work.

A college, graduate or professional school student may fear:

 That no one believes her;

 Failing a course;

 Not graduating;

 Not getting letters of recommendation for jobs or graduate school;

 Getting a “bad reputation” within her field of study and professional circles;

 Ostracism by friends;

 Leaving and not getting admitted to another school;

 Parents’ disapproval.

Girls in elementary, middle or high school may fear:

 That no one will believe her;

 Telling her parents;

 Failing a class or being given extra homework;

 Not graduating;

 Not getting letters of recommendation for college;

 Getting a bad reputation among her friends;

 Teasing and name-calling by friends;

 Having to change schools.

Obviously, there are many reasons why women and girls do not report incidents of sexual harassment. These reasons also point to the impact sexual harassment has on the lives of the victims. The often constant nature of harassment can become a source of significant stress, and the anxiety over not being taken seriously can completely isolate a victim.

Reporting Sexual Harassment

Survivors who access the legal system to report the crime of sexual harassment often find the process lengthy and exhausting. Before a woman, student or parent files a complaint of sexual harassment, she can take several steps to provide evidence for her case:

1. Document everything. Keep a small notebook describing the harassment or speak into an audiotape player after each incident.

2. Record the date, time, and location where the harassment took place.

3. Record exactly what the harasser said or did.

4. Record how she felt after the harassment took place and what action she took, if any.

5. Make a note of any witnesses to the harassment (if possible, ask them to write down what they observed and heard).

6. Keep any notes, photos, or e-mails the harasser sent.

7. Talk to someone about the harassment.

8. Review her personnel file and make sure it is accurate.

9. Keep all documentation at home or other safe place; keep duplicates.

10. Review workplace and/or school brochures, policies, and procedures regarding sexual harassment.

Even if a survivor does not want to make a formal complaint, it is still a good idea to keep records of what happened in case she changes her mind. The information may also help another woman who plans to file a grievance.

There are several ways to address harassment; which one to use depends on the situation and location (workplace or school).

Non-legal strategies include immediately confronting the harasser, visibly carrying a notebook around and writing down everything he does or says in his presence, writing a letter to the perpetrator detailing what he is doing, how she feels about it and what steps need to be taken to rectify the situation. These strategies are important for women who cannot or do not wish to use conventional methods of reporting harassment to access other support systems.

Legal strategies include notifying an official in the workplace or school, in writing, of the situation. The Equal Employment Opportunity officer at the company

Independent Study Curriculum 2-15 Issued 08/04 Types of Sexual Violence or school can be contacted to formalize the process. More details regarding whom to contact to report sexual harassment are included in a handout at the end of this chapter.

Summary

The information in this chapter provides an overview of some of the forms of sexual violence. By examining some of the specific ways women are harmed by this violence, we can begin to see how societal attitudes affect their willingness to seek help, their ability to heal and even how they feel about themselves. While the specifics of an abusive event are important, it is often just as important to come to terms with the social context in which the victimization occurs. Understanding the continuum of sexual violence is part of the process of understanding this context.

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