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Rev Dr Edgar Mayer; Living Grace Toowoomba Church; Message: Matthew 14; Date: 14 Nov 10 For more sermons and other writings check the following homepage: www.livinggracetoowoomba.org

Paying What Price

Have a look at this billboard ad. [If my memory serves me right – a few weeks ago – I saw a billboard in Brisbane which featured the same content as this one. Show picture:]

“Life’s short. Get a divorce.” This is the season before Christmas which – in the church all over the world – is called the “Advent season” – (the Latin word “advent” meaning “coming”) and in this season we prepare for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ who first came at Christmas 2000 years ago – (he was born in a stable at Bethlehem) – (in this season we prepare for Christmas and do the shopping for presents and celebrations) – but – at the same time – and this is more important – in this season of advent we also prepare for his second coming at the end of time when he will judge the living and the dead. This is the time in the year when we place special emphasis on getting ready for our God. Jesus himself admonished us to be ready for him at any time. He said – Matthew 24:36: “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Matthew 24:42: “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.” Matthew 24:44: “ . you . must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.” How do we get ready – how can we prepare ourselves – for the coming of our Lord? In one word: Repent. At least – this was the message of John the Baptist who – more than anyone else in the Bible – had a ministry of preparing people for Jesus. He preached to an entire nation – Matthew 3:2: “ … Repent … ” Matthew 3:8: “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.” Matthew 3:10: “ … every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.” Now look again at the billboard. This is a reflection of the culture that we live in. These are the messages that create our world: “Lust is more important than your marriage vows. Come on. See your lawyer. Feast your eyes on the curves and six-packs of other people and then have as much pleasure in the bedroom as you can. Don’t waste time on a strained relationship with your spouse.” How much of this kind of thinking has become our own? How much have we been buying into the logic of this billboard? This is our culture and it is all-pervasive.

of 12 [Show next picture.]

This is an ad for a prestige brand of cars and motor-bikes. Some of our most successful business people

and community leaders buy this brand and yet – judging by the ad – (in our culture) the association with an unfaithful but desirable siren – even for these people – is a selling point. The add tells you: “Lust after the girl. You know you’re not the first but who cares? This is how it is. Enjoy the BMW – the driving pleasure.” We find this ad in the most respectable magazines – e.g.: Time and Newsweek – and – thus – the underlying message on lust and sex has become accepted among us.

[Show next picture.]

This ad tells us that great ideas do not (necessarily) come from books and the world of learning. A great idea is to strip off your clothes in the library and explore your lust. [Untamed passion instead of disciplined learning: a great idea.]

Then, the attractive shape of a young human body even has religious power. The sea parted when God delivered his people from Egypt and now it must part before a young woman in a bikini – wearing a certain sun care product.

Wear a certain deodorant and salvation – that is: satisfying human lust – is assured: a woman will even go to the cross for you – in an enticing way.

of 12 This is a picture from a clothing collection which intended to make sexualized women look like Mary (the mother of Jesus). Notice the hands – the prayer posture.

The message of this ad is that religion is really only an accessory to sex. At the heart of everything is lust.

There is nothing else but indulging your cravings. Priests and nuns have made a commitment to celibacy in their service to God but – as this picture shows – this was a mistake and everyone knows it. True fulfillment comes from kissing temptation.

The true religion of our culture is materialism – (life is about consuming goods and people) – and the desires of the flesh. Lust must be satisfied. Now – what is your reaction to all of these ads? When I spell out the message of each ad, I think that we would not agree with any one of them. However – at the same time – we have become used to them. They are everywhere and what they proclaim has become normal (in a sense). This is our culture and we live in this culture and – many a time – instead of the church changing the culture, the culture has managed to change us. Christians have been and are compromised in what they wear, in what they watch on TV and the internet, where they go for entertainment and how fragile their own marriages have become because of sexual temptations. Only a few weeks ago another pastor in Toowoomba came with the news that his marriage was over and there have been too many like him. The divorce statistics of Christians are not one iota better than the divorce statistics of the broader population. How can this be? The billboard said: “Life’s short. Get a divorce.” This is indeed the season before Christmas – the advent season – preparing for the coming of our Lord (at Christmas and at the end of time) – and maybe we do well entering into this season ourselves. God hates many of our ads and billboards and he confronts our culture with his expectations – Matthew 3:2: “ … Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near.” Matthew 3:8: “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.” Matthew 3:10: “ … every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.” In the Bible – John the Baptist gave a clear trumpet call to righteousness (cf. 1 Corinthians 14:8) and even challenged the government – the king himself. The king’s name was Herod and John the Baptist admonished him to turn away from his lust. He pointed out to him that what he was doing was a sin – [Herod had divorced his wife to marry the wife of his brother because he was thinking along familiar lines: Life’s short. Get a divorce.] – John the Baptist announced that this was against the will and commandment of God – which did not please Herod – [as it may not please us] – and – therefore – he had John the Baptist thrown into prison. He was not pleased. We may not be pleased with some challenges to our sexual behaviour. However – hang in there – if we only take the time and meditate some more on the details of the Bible account – we can see the truth. Herod was not happy in his lust and neither are we nor anyone in our Western culture. He was lost and the call to repentance was a call to healing and freedom. I read from the Bible – Matthew 14:1-12: “ At that time Herod the tetrarch heard the reports about Jesus, and he said to his attendants, ‘This is John the Baptist; he has risen from the dead! That is why miraculous powers are at work in him. Now Herod had arrested John and bound him and put him in prison because of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife,

of 12 for John had been saying to him: ‘It is not lawful for you to have her.’ Herod wanted to kill John, but he was afraid of the people, because they considered John a prophet. On Herod’s birthday the daughter of Herodias danced for the guests and pleased Herod so much that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she asked. Prompted by her mother, she said, ‘Give me here on a platter the head of John the Baptist.’ The king was distressed, but because of his oaths and his dinner guests, he ordered that her request be granted and had John beheaded in the prison. His head was brought in on a platter and given to the girl, who carried it to her mother. John’s disciples came and took his body and buried it. Then they went and told Jesus.” Herod is a good show case of where our culture is heading and has already arrived. His surrender to the emotions of lust had progressed to such an extent that all restraints and self-discipline had broken down. He had become extremely impulsive and impetuous. Whatever caught his eye, he had to have – now. First: his brother’s wife and then: the daughter of his wife. On his birthday – at the birthday feast – the young girl danced for the guests and the longer she danced, the more Herod’s passions were aroused, which made him again impulsive so that – in front of all the guests – he swore to give her whatever she desired. This was a rash promise – an unthinking promise – but this is what he was like and his wife knew – [she was under no illusion as to the character of her man] – because – as it turned out – the whole dancing routine of the young girl was a set-up. Herod’s wife knew that Herod would not be able to resist her. She knew that he would be lusting after her and then know no restraints. Thus, Herod’s wife – through her daughter – would be able to make Herod do something against his will: kill John the Baptist, who had been criticizing their marriage. Herod’s lust cost him. His wife became like him and betrayed him – [in the act of him betraying her] – to satisfy her own desires. Even her daughter became just a pawn. There was no marriage – no intimacy – no trust. Herod – not only lost his marriage – [look closely] – but also his kingship to lust because it was now his raw – immediate – desires that were ruling him – [which was exploited by his wife] – and – if he was not governed by his desires – he was governed by fear – another undisciplined emotion. When John the Baptist called him to account over his unlawful marriage, Herod flared up in so much anger that he wanted to kill John immediately but he refrained on account of fear. He was afraid of the people who liked John. Later, he settled down but – then – at a time when he did not want to kill John, he did so – again – on account of fear. He was afraid of what people might think if he did not keep his promise to the young girl who had asked for the head of John the Baptist. Lust and fear – these two emotions go together because both emotions come to rule us if we only respond to immediate circumstances – without a more disciplined grounding in something else. John the Baptist – on the other hand – [and this is just a glimpse of what is possible for us] – neither gave in to lust nor fear. He wore rough clothing and ate simple food – maybe not so attractive at first sight – but he was also not afraid – even of the king. Have another look at Herod. Is he not a sad king – born to rule but pathetic in the attempt? [His lust was a bad counselor.] What did a mature king expect to gain from the erotic dance of a girl – his wife’s daughter? What made him promise her the world? What would she be able to give in return? What did he want? What does our culture want? Lust is not love. It’s not joy. It’s not peace. The actions of Herod look desperate and – in fact – he is in bondage. He’s no longer in control. His lust is ruling him. In public [not even capable of hiding anything from his wife] – facing full humiliation – he demonstrates to everyone that he has become the slave of his passions – promising the girl whatever she wanted. Our culture is populated with Herods – sad and lost figures – who are in bondage to their lust while God had intended so much more for them. We were meant to be a kingdom of priests. What if Herod had chosen to listen to John the Baptist? How could things have changed for him? How can they change for you – this morning – as you prepare yourself for Jesus in the advent season? God expected Herod to repent – and he expects you to repent. Honour God’s purposes for marriage – do not divorce – and – whenever a dancing young woman or a dancing young man is stirring the wrong kind of emotions in you – avert your eyes – turn off the TV. Repentance is possible. Otherwise God would not have sent John the Baptist and Herod himself sensed its power. At first, he was so angry with John but then he was distressed when he was tricked into killing him and – later – the early reports about Jesus and his work of miracles made him say to his attendants – Matthew 14:2: “This

of 12 is John the Baptist; he has risen from the dead! That is why miraculous powers are at work in him.” Herod came to a crazy conclusion – [how could John emerge from the grave as Jesus] – but it shows how much he had valued John the Baptist and how much he had sensed the authority of God behind his words. Repentance is possible. God will give you the power to do what he commands. John the Baptist himself addressed this question when he said – Matthew 3:11: “I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I … He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire … ” After John the Baptist would come Jesus who would baptize – drench us – in the Holy Spirit for power to overcome all sin – Romans 8:13: “ … by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body … ” Therefore – repentance is possible but – at the same time – it will be hard. Herod put up a fight. He threw John the Baptist into prison and his wife also wanted him dead. This morning – be under no illusion. It is not easy to be a Christian. Lusting after young dancing women – that is easy but being a Christian – living a life of purity – is hard. David Challenor always says: “Being a Christian is the hardest thing that I have ever done. Sticking a needle in my arm for many years was easy but being a Christian is the hardest thing, yet I now like who I am. I have peace.” Sometimes we promote the Christian faith as an easy option for a better life. It is not. The Bible describes reality in this way:

Galatians 5:17: “For the desires of the flesh are opposed to the [Holy] Spirit, and the [desires of the] Spirit are opposed to the flesh (godless human nature); for these are antagonistic to each other [continually withstanding and in conflict with each other], so that you are not free but are prevented from doing what you desire to do.” 1 Corinthians 9:27: “But [like a boxer] I buffet my body [handle it roughly, discipline it by hardships] and subdue it, for fear that after proclaiming to others the Gospel and things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit [not stand the test, be unapproved and rejected as a counterfeit].” Galatians 3:5: “So kill (deaden, deprive of power) the evil desire lurking in your members [those animal impulses and all that is earthly in you that is employed in sin]: sexual vice, impurity, sensual appetites, unholy desires, and all greed and covetousness, for that is idolatry (the deifying of self and other created things instead of God).” Galatians 5:24: “And those who belong to Christ Jesus (the Messiah) have crucified the flesh (the godless human nature) with its passions and appetites and desires.”

If we do not want to share the fate of Herod, we have work to do and it’s not going to be easy. We are told: Buffet your body! Discipline yourself! Kill the evil desire lurking within you! Crucify the flesh! This kind of langue suggests a high energy approach which requires vigilance and discipline – a radical strategy to overcome the enemy of lust. This is what you may do. I give you a more concrete list from the following website: http://www.gillistriplett.com/rel101/articles/lust.html: 1. Sever All Bad Influences, (See I Corinthians 15:33). 2. Set No Wicked Things Before Your Eyes, (See Psalm 101:3). 3. Take Heed To What You Hear, (See Mark 4:24). 4. Speak To Your Flesh With The Voice of Authority, (See Galatians 5:24). 5. Take Authority Over Your Mind, (See II Corinthians 10:3-5). Flee From Temptations Of The Flesh, (See Genesis 39:7-13). 6. Surround Yourself with Believers Who Sharpen You Spiritually, (See Proverbs 27:17). 7. Submit Yourself to a Season of Prayer And Fasting, (See I Corinthians 7:5). King Herod could have changed the nature of his birthday party. He needed to get out of his environment. He could have changed his friends and met John the Baptist. There is much that he could have done and there is much that you can do but it will not be easy. Yet, God tells you: “Get ready for me. Repent. This is the season of advent.” I come back to Herod and what his lust cost him. I come back to what our culture is costing us. Herod ended up being alone – betrayed and manipulated by his wife, fearful of public opinion and set up for disappointment by expecting too much from the gyrating body of a girl. Herod paid a price for his life-style but he was the king and kings (leaders) set the culture of their community and – therefore – the people also paid a price. Listen to the Bible –

of 12 Matthew 14:13-14: “When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” Life under Herod left everyone feeling lost. Therefore, people flocked to Jesus – chasing him on foot into the wilderness. People were hungering for more than what they received from Herod. It is the same today in our culture. Give people an alternative – let the church again proclaim Jesus – let an uncompromised church proclaim Jesus – and they will come. Listen to an article on modern dating. Listen to the feeling of lostness – the price people pay in our culture. [Abbreviate and retell in your own words:]

Let’s Not Get to Know Each Other Better (Why Spoil Great Sex By Dating) by Joel Walkowski, (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/08/fashion/08love.html); Published: June 8, 2008.

A FEW months ago I liked a girl — a fairly common occurrence. But being slightly ambitious and drunk, I decided to ask her out on a date. This was a weird choice, as I’m not sure I know anyone who has ever had a real date. Most elect to hang out, hook up, or Skype long-distance relations. The idea of a date (asking in advance, spending rent money on dinner and dealing with the initial awkwardness) is far too concrete and unnecessary. As the adage goes: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Why pay for dinner if you can sit around watching TV? If you stay at home, you hardly even need to stand up, let alone put on a nice shirt. Despite misgivings, this particular foray felt legitimate, a coming-of-age moment straight out of a John Hughes movie. I had always wanted to go on a real date: flowers, dinner and all that. I thought that maybe in doing so I would feel more like an adult and less like a dumb little boy. So I called this girl, feeling a little sleazy as I searched for the right words: “Hey, um, this is Joel. Do you want to, like, go out? On a date?” “O.K.,” she said uncertainly, no doubt suspicious the whole thing was a joke. Her positive response did nothing to calm my jitters. Give me a party, a front porch gathering, or a random encounter, and I’m comfortable talking to anyone. But this kind of formal planning unnerved me. Riding my bike home, I realized I didn’t even know what a real date was, beyond some vague Hollywood notion. In my 21 years, I have had my share of trysts and one-night stands. I’ve been in love. I know it was love because I shamelessly clung to her. I have had my share of ups and downs but have no idea if I’m doing the whole love thing right or wrong. We don’t tend to define it that way. In this age of cyberselves, with hookups just a Craigslist ad away, the game has evolved to the point of no rules. It’s not the ’50s where I can ask some lucky girl to wear my pin and take a ride in daddy’s car. This change probably benefits me in the end, as I’m sure an offer of a ride in my dad’s Sable would be swiftly rejected. For my generation, friendship often morphs into a sexual encounter and then reverts to friendship the next day. And it’s easy as long as you don’t put yourself on the line or try too hard. Don’t have a prospect? Check Facebook. Afraid to call? Text. With so many avenues for communication, one might expect an onslaught of romantic soliloquies, but that isn’t the case. Casual is sexy. Caring is creepy. You don’t want to show your hand, and you certainly don’t want to fall in love. At least until you do, and by then it’s too late.

of 12 Planned romance is viewed as nothing more than ambition, so it’s important that things be allowed to happen naturally. Sex is great, and so are some relationships, but not to the point that they should be actively pursued. It’s hard to even flirt with a girl without feeling obvious and embarrassed, since the greatest displays of cheesiness come from the pursuit, making it disgusting: “Oh, you drive a Volvo? What’s that like?” Realizing I’m flirting, I cringe and do my best to restrain myself. An encounter is best when unsullied by intentions, leaving lust or boredom to take over. The typical sequence goes like this: Friends meet up at some sort of bonfire or impromptu game of night volleyball. Maybe that girl from your history class is there, and you start to talk. Neither of you has expectations. But just hanging out and swapping stories, laughing a little, creates a spark and the attraction builds, eventually leading to the big wet kiss that changes everything and nothing. This is the perfect hookup, a pressure-free surprise. With a stranger, everything is new and acceptable. Her quirks are automatically endearing. This first encounter is the perfect place, but where does it lead? In the best case, nowhere at all. The next time you see her in class, you act the same as you did before, and so does she, except for the knowledge you share that what happened last week might happen again. If it continues, you have an understanding, physical chemistry and great conversations. You meet two or three times a week for no-strings sex and long-winded philosophical talks. Most importantly, you aren’t lonely. Maybe deep in the recesses of your mind you think about possibly loving this person. What’s the standard response? Nothing. If she asks, “How do you feel about me?” you answer from the heart: “I see you as an unexpected treat from the heavens. I don’t know how I deserve this.” Your relationship is good. Your relationship is strong. But it isn’t a relationship, and that’s the key. You aren’t hoping she will become your girlfriend, and ideally she is not looking for anything more, either. A friend of mine, a normal girl who is neither especially social nor aloof, engages in hookups unabashedly — she’s just doing what she wants and doesn’t regret or overthink it. Except for one time when she woke up in some guy’s embrace, got out of bed and noticed his bookshelf. I’m not sure what it was about the contents that impressed or moved her; maybe the books suggested a gentle soul. All I know is what she told me: “I only felt bad after seeing his books.” The books had made him a real person, I guess, one she liked. Or pitied. Because then it was on to the next. I might not be a typical youth, and maybe my friends aren’t typical, either, but hardly anyone I know aspires to be “that guy” or “that girl,” those once-dynamic individuals who “found someone” and suddenly weren’t so cool. On some level, we envy the scope of their feelings, but we certainly don’t want to become them. But staying out of relationships can be just as much work as maintaining one. After hooking up with the same person several times I’m sometimes haunted by the “Relationship Status” question on Facebook, and I’ll linger over the button, wondering whether to make the leap from fun to obligation. I envision holding hands, meeting her parents and getting matching ankle tattoos. Then I come to my senses and close the window. Sometimes, though, it’s not up to me. I work at one of the campus libraries, and for some obscure reason my bosses, who are mostly middle-aged and female, decided to hold a

of 12 Library Prom. I had to take someone, so I asked a girl, one of the truly rare fish worth catching (or being caught by). That didn’t stop me from introducing her as “my friend.” Which didn’t stop one of my bosses from asking, “Are you two dating?” “Yeah,” she said. “Um, we are?” “Well, this is a date, isn’t it?” She had me trapped. I nodded blankly. With one word, she had changed everything. Now I’m asked about her at work, even though she is currently hooking up with a friend of mine. I wish I could explain this to the librarians. They’re sympathetic to my other complaints: about studying, about having my license suspended, about taking care of my pet chicken, and so on. “I was there once,” they tell me. “You’ll be fine.” But when it comes to love, all they can say is, “How’s that girlfriend of yours?” Maybe this disconnect has always existed. As one of my classmates, a genteel 60- year-old, said to me, “Every generation thinks they discovered sex.” Which might be true, but I’m not sure any previous generation has our plethora of options and utter lack of protocol. This may reflect how our media obsession has desensitized and hypersexualized us. But I think it goes beyond that. Our short attention spans tend to be measured in nanoseconds. We float from room to room watching TV, surfing the Internet, playing Frisbee and finding satisfaction around every corner, if only for a moment. Out of fear, we shrink ourselves. There have been many times I should have cried but stifled the tears. Instances where I should have said, “I love you” but made a joke instead. Once, a girl dumped me and it nearly ruined me. How bad was it? I ate nothing but Wendy’s for an entire week. I’m fairly certain I could have saved the entire endeavor with a soul-baring soliloquy of what was true and what mattered to me, but I couldn’t muster the courage. I don’t know many who can. We’ve grown up in an age of rampant divorce and the accompanying tumult. The idea that two people can be happy together, maturing alongside each other, seems as false as a fairy tale. So when a relationship ends, it isn’t seen as bad. It’s held as evidence that the relationship was never any good to begin with. MAYBE it’s just that we have learned nothing can compare to the perfect moment of the unexpected hookup — wet lips on the beach, lying in the sand — and so we aim to accumulate as many as possible. Or maybe we’re simply too immature to commit. That has been the rap against guys forever, but now women think the same way. With the world (and the world of sex) at our fingertips, it’s difficult to choose, to settle, to compromise. But I do occasionally wonder: If we can’t get past ourselves and learn to sacrifice to be with another, then what is in store? A generation of selfish go-getters fueled by nothing more than our own egos, forever seeking that rare dose of self-esteem? An era of loneliness filled with commercial wants and mate selection based on the shallowest of criteria? As a staunch proponent of my generation, I believe that, despite what it may seem, we appreciate the ways of love and affection but are simply waiting for them to take over. We might dally in the land of easy sex and stilted text-message flirtation, but deep down we crave the warm embrace of all-consuming love.

of 12 I do, anyway. What else could have been behind my crazy idea to ask a girl out on a date? Alas, she and I ended up going to Chili’s and never went out again. Welcome to adulthood.

How lost have we become in our culture? Consider what this young man wrote: “I decided to ask her out on a date. This was a weird choice.” “Casual is sexy. Caring is creepy.” “You certainly don’t want to fall in love.” “An encounter is best when unsullied by intentions, leaving lust or boredom to take over.” “I only felt bad after seeing his books.” “This may reflect how our media obsession has desensitized and hypersexualized us.” “Out of fear, we shrink ourselves.” “We’ve grown up in an age of rampant divorce and the accompanying tumult. The idea that two people can be happy together, maturing alongside each other, seems as false as a fairy tale.” “With the world (and the world of sex) at our fingertips, it’s difficult to choose, to settle, to compromise.” “If we can’t get past ourselves and learn to sacrifice to be with another, then what is in store? A generation of selfish go-getters fueled by nothing more than our own egos, forever seeking that rare dose of self-esteem? An era of loneliness filled with commercial wants and mate selection based on the shallowest of criteria?” When people like Herod set the culture of a community, everyone pays a price – like this young man. His article is honest. He’s just trying to find his way and you can imagine that if he heard another voice – the voice of the church that proclaimed Jesus Christ and prepared people for his coming (in this season of advent) – he would also walk on foot to check him out. He would want an alternative to his culture. He would want the kingdom of God. And Jesus would not disappoint him. He does not disappoint any of us. The Bible says – Matthew 14:14: “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” Can we repent this morning? Life may be short but divorce is not an option. In response to Jesus and his power – we will crucify our flesh. Discipline yourself. It will not be easy but so much better than life under Herod. Amen.