Enough Already! How Much is Too Much?
Introductions
What is over-indulgence anyway? Are kids more overindulged today?
How can I tell if it is overindulgence? (The “Test of Four”)
What do we know about overindulgence?
What caused this? What conditions often lead to overindulgence?
Why do parents overindulge their children?
What are some common consequences of overindulgence?
How much is “enough”? (activity)
Examples of overindulgence…and its consequences Giving too much Over nurturing Soft structure
How do children/students learn what “enough” is?
Dr. Phil segments (DVD)
Breaking the cycle of overindulgence
Classroom suggestions/activities
Questions (and hopefully answers!)
Adjournment ENOUGH ALREADY! How Much is TOO Much?
Presented by Sue Utter Counselor Carl Junction High School (417)649-5728 – work (417)782-0061 – home [email protected]
Never has so much been done for so many by so many… with the best of intentions.
However, studies show that when children are overindulged (by having too many resources, through over nurturing or by being raised in a soft structure environment--one lacking clear rules and consequences) they are actually prevented from learning many important life skills that are imperative in order for them to become responsible, dependable, well-adjusted, resilient adults. Parents/adults often confuse love with overindulgence and are afraid to subject their kids to even a moment’s frustration or deprive them of anything they desire. However, a life lesson that we all must learn is that we just can’t always get/have our way, and sometimes the public school setting is the first place a child/student comes face-to-face with this reality. Attend this workshop and find out how to recognize overindulgence, how we got in this mess to begin with, what the consequences of overindulgence are when these overindulged children become adults, ways to teach children what “enough” means, some suggestions for classroom activities that can help you establish firm rules and fair consequences and tips and suggestions to help break the cycle of overindulgence. Are Kids Today More Overindulged Than We Were?
Doesn’t every generation think they are??? Over 2,350 years ago Socrates made the following observation about the children in his time:
“The children now love luxury; they show disrespect for their elders and love to chatter in place of exercise. They are tyrants and contradict their parents rather than being the servants of their households.”
Let’s look at the numbers/statistics and you can decide for yourself. A 2003 CNN/Time survey poll ask the following questions and got these results:
1. Are children today more or less spoiled than children 10-15 years ago? 80% said more 2. Are your own children spoiled or not spoiled? 68% said “very” or “somewhat” spoiled 3. Do children today have to do fewer or more chores: 75% said fewer 4. Are your children exposed to too much advertising when it comes to toys and games they might play or buy? 72% said there is too much advertising aimed at children
Companies spend an estimate $14.4 billion annually to advertise products to kids. Children become brand conscious by age 3, and ½ ask for specific brands by age 5. Children under 18 spend $150 billion each year. Americans <25 spend 5 times more money than their parents did at the same age. The fastest growing rate of bankruptcy filing is among adults under the age of 25. 31% of college seniors have credit card debt totaling $3,000 - $7,000. 9% of college seniors have credit card debt over $7,000. The average U.S. teen spends approximately $80 each trip to the mall. More and more often parents send their children to the mall to do their own back-to school shopping, and say that they believe their children have good money management skills. However, over 50% of children say that they have received little or no financial advice from their parents. Nearly 40% of 8-12 year-olds have a cell phone. ½ of U.S. children ages 4-19 eat at least one fast-food meal each day. American children and teens lead the world in obesity rates. The average U.S. child watches 29-35 hours of TV per week—and views more than 50,000 advertisements per year (>10,000 will be for food). Bibliography
Boundaries With Kids: Dr. John Townsend, Zondervan, 2001.
Boundaries With Teens: Dr. John Townsend, Zondervan, 2006.
How Much Is Enough?; Jean Illsley Clarke, Connie Dawson, David Bredehoft, Marlowe & Company, 2004.
I Refuse To Raise A Brat!; Marilu Henner, Ruth Velikovsky Sharon, Reagan Books/Harper-Collins Publishers, 2000.
Parenting Teens With Love and Logic; Foster Cline, Jim Fay, Pinion Press, 2006.
Parents Who Love Too Much; Jane Nelsen, Cheryl Erwin, Three Rivers Press, 2000.
Pearls of Love and Logic for Parents and Teachers; Jim Fay, Foster W. Cline. Love and Logic Press, 2000.
Seven Habits of Highly Successful Teens; Sean Covey, Simon & Schuster, 1998.
Teaching With Love and Logic; Jim Fay, David Funk, Love and Logic Press, 1995.
Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age: Dan Kindlon, Hyperion Books, 2003.
What Kids Really Want That Money Can’t Buy: Tips for Parenting in a Commercial World: Betsy Taylor, Warner Books, 2004. http://www.overindulgence.info/ GREAT website for additional information and resources dealing with overindulgence, its effects on children, and suggestions for how to curb/stop it. http://www.drphil.com lots of information about current topics including discipline, parenting, entitlement, etc. Also includes lots of handouts, questionnaires and self (and other) evaluation tools.