The Cause Community Church Life Groups: Spring Semester 2010

The Cause Community Church Life Groups: Spring Semester 2010 LIFE’S HEALING CHOICES The Beatitudes (Part 8) Discussion 8: “Choice 8: Recycling Pain – The Sharing Choice”

Goal of discussion:  Encourage those in your group to reach out to someone as a support partner, sponsor, or accountability partner. They need to connect and share with someone before they can receive the full blessing of healing God has for them.  Help the group continue to build their stories. Their hurts can provide opportunities to witness to others with similar hurts.

Book reading to prepare for this discussion: Read Choice 8 and “Closing Thoughts” of Life’s Healing Choices by John Baker.  Encourage everyone in your Life Group to have read this before attending so they can be better prepared for the discussion.

Reminder: This is a guide. Adjust the amount of content based on the needs of your group.

I. Group Welcome/Icebreaker, if necessary (Suggested time: 3-5 min.)

II. Life Sharing (Suggested time: 10-15 min.) Allow each individual or couple to share about how they are doing personally.

III. DNA Journal Sharing (Suggested time: 3-5 min.) Allow people to share about what God is speaking to them through their daily reading using their DNA Journal.

IV. Last Discussion Review and New Discussion Introduction (Suggested time: 3-5 min.) Open with prayer.

Last Topic: “Choice 7: Maintaining Momentum – The Growth Choice”  I reserve a daily quiet time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow Him.

New Topic: “Choice 8: Recycling Pain – The Sharing Choice”  I yield myself to God to be used to bring the Good News to others, both by my example and by my words.

V. DVD Discussion Introduction With Pastor Bob (Approximately 10 -15 min.)

1 Play “Life’s Healing Choices” DVD (Discussion 8).

VI. Lesson/Discussion (Suggested time: 20-30 min.)

Important Reminder: We strongly encourage you to consider splitting up into gender-specific groups for your discussion time. After splitting into gender-specific groups, review the following guidelines: 1. Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts and feelings. 2. Each person is free to express feelings without interruption. 3. We are here to support one another. We will not attempt to fix one another. 4. Privacy and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the group stays in the group. The only exception is when someone threatens to harm themselves or others.

Start with an informal discussion about support groups that openly share their hurts with others. See if any in your group has experienced a group that shares. Ask him or her to describe the experience.

Read Matthew 5:9-10.

Because we live on a broken planet, pain is a part of life. No one lives a pain-free life. Pain is inevitable, universal, and present in our lives for our time on earth. Following Jesus does not end our pain - it transforms it! Jesus gives meaning and purpose to our pain. Regardless of the reason or cause for our pain, God can use it for our benefit, for his purposes, and to help others. God never wastes a hurt. He takes our hurts, hang-ups, and habits and weaves them into his plan for our lives. In the Life’s Healing Choices series, we've discovered how to tap into God's healing power based on the choices we make. As we start experiencing healing and God's peace, God wants us to share our experiences with others.

"God was in Christ, offering peace and forgiveness to the people of this world. And he has given us the work of sharing his message about peace." 2 Corinthians 5:19 (CEV)

The key indication that we are healing and recovering is when we start using our painful experiences to help other people. The decision we make to start helping others is The Sharing Choice:

“I choose to yield myself to God to be used to bring the Good News to others, both by my example and by my words.”

God did not cause our pain, but since we are experiencing it, he can use our pain to help others. By making The Sharing Choice, we are able to pass along to others the comfort God has given us.

2 "I pray that God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ will be kind to you and will bless you with peace! ...The Father is a merciful God, who always gives us comfort. He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble. We share in the terrible sufferings of Christ, but also in the wonderful comfort he gives." 2 Corinthians 1:2-4 (CEV)

SIMPLER DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: This blue section can be used in place of, or in addition to, the full discussion notes/questions below. These questions were adapted from p. 111-115 of Life’s Healing Choices: Small Group Study.  God allows pain for several reasons. Here are four of them. 1. God has given us a free will (Genesis 1:27): Describe in your own words how your free will is not only a blessing but a burden. 2. God uses pain to get our attention (Proverbs 20:30): Describe how God has used pain in your life as a wake-up call. 3. God uses pain to teach us to depend on Him (2 Corinthians 1:8-9): What are some of the things God has taught you through your pain? 4. God allows pain to give us a ministry to others (2 Corinthians 1:4): How does pain actually make you humble, sympathetic, and sensitive to others’ needs?

 There are three main ways you can use your pain to help others. 1. Accept your mission (Matthew 28:19): What does the Great Commission mean to you? How can you do your part? 2. Tell your story: How will being humble, being real, and not lecturing help you prepare to share your story? 3. Consider your beneficiaries: How would others benefit from hearing your story? Who could best benefit from hearing your story?

WHAT CAN I SHARE TO HELP OTHERS?

1. HOW PAIN GOT MY ATTENTION

God uses pain for many purposes. He uses pain to: a. Inspect us - To show us what we are like inside. b. Correct us - Teach us the right way. c. Perfect us - Make us what he wants us to be. d. Direct us - Point us in a different direction. e. But most of all - To get our attention!

What does Proverbs 20:30 tell us about the effects of pain?  Pain is often a wake-up call. Why is it that we typically don't change when we see the light but only when we feel the heat? In other words, why do we rarely change until we get desperate?  What are some common obstacles that deter us from changing more readily?

Read 2 Corinthians 7:9. What benefit came from the pain described?

3  When people are experiencing pain, do they draw closer to God, or do they move away from God? Why?  How could hurtful experiences draw us closer to God?

TO HELP OTHERS, I MUST BE HONEST ABOUT...

MY FEELINGS What does 2 Corinthians 6:11 demonstrate to us?  In what settings do we typically open our hearts with each other? Why not more frequently?

MY FAULTS Galatians 6:5 tell us what we should do with our faults. What is it?  Do people respond better to someone who boasts of his strengths or someone who admits his faults? Why?

MY FAILURES What confession does Paul make in 1 Timothy 1:15?  Why is it important to admit we are sinners? Why would that be important to someone we may be trying to help?

MY FRUSTRATIONS What dilemma does Paul describe in Romans 7:18-19?  How do we typically demonstrate our frustrations? How could we express our frustrations in a way that serves God and not ourselves?

MY FEARS According to 2 Corinthians 12:20, what fears does Paul express?  What do we tend to think when someone confesses their fears to us? Would they think the same of us if we were confessing? Why or why not?

God whispers to us in our pleasure, but he shouts to us in our pain. Take some time to reflect on the most prevalent hurt in your life right now.  What is God trying to tell you?  What change do you think he wants you to make?  Write down your ideas. Share them with your group. If you find yourself hesitant to do so, take some time to reflect why. We are all broken, so why hide it? We help each other in our brokenness.

2. WHAT I LEARNED WHILE HEALING

I LEARNED TO DEPEND ON GOD What fundamental change did Paul and his friends make in 2 Corinthians 1:8-10?  What typically happens when we try to take a matter out of God's hands and put it solely in ours?  Why do we resist depending so fully on God? What do we fear?

4 I LEARNED TO FOLLOW GOD'S WORD What lesson did David learn in Psalm 119:71?  Why do we tend to turn to the Bible more frequently during a crisis?  How could reading the Bible more consistently help us when a crisis arises?

I LEARNED I NEED OTHER PEOPLE Read 1 Corinthians 11:11. What does Paul inform us about each other?  What part of God's image do we see in men? What part of God's image do we see in women?  Why do we sometimes think we don't need the opposite gender in our lives? How have we seen this attitude affect others?

What does Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 teach us about each other?  What makes us want to handle our hurts alone? How effective are we without support?  What are some practical ways people can pick each other up when they are hurting?

One of the primary ways God teaches us about ourselves is through the help of others. Usually, we are not willing to face the truth about ourselves until forced to or when somebody cares enough to confront us. Take some time to consider the people in your group.  Would one of them be willing to be honest with you about you? Commit to contacting him or her this week. Ask for some caring honesty. Share some of your commitments. Ask for help and accountability. Allow God to show you what he can do through the people in your life.

3. HOW GOD CAN BRING GOOD OUT OF BAD

What power of God's is demonstrated in Romans 8:28?  Does Romans 8:28 tell us that things will always work out to a happy ending? Why or why not?  What are some examples of bad experiences God transformed into good?

What realization does Joseph come to in Genesis 50:20?  Can God bring good out of evil? What are some examples?  Could the sins of other people fit into God's plan for us? How?

Take some time to think about the tough or hurtful experiences that God has used to help you grow spiritually. Experiencing these lessons shows us that God deserves our praise in the best and worst of times.  When was the last time you thanked God for what he has done for you? Commit to giving thanks to God in prayer and praising him for his love and power in your life.

4. HOW JESUS GIVES ME HOPE TO CHANGE

What does Peter advise us to prepare to do in 1 Peter 3:15?

5  How do we commonly demonstrate in our daily lives the hope Jesus has given us? How can others see it?  Why do people in our lives need hope?

The hope that helps comes from someone who has been there - someone who has experienced the hurt and received God's healing and recovery. This is how God wants to use you - as his 'Hope Dispenser'!  Is there someone in your life that needs hope? Someone who is hurting? Invite him or her to your church's Celebrate Recovery or other support ministry. You have been there before and can provide great hope and God's love to someone in need!

PERSONAL APPLICATION AND COMMITMENT:

Take a moment to review any assignments/challenges made during the personal application and commitment section of your previous meeting. Seeing God at work in the lives of those who commit to him is essential for growth.

You don't need to be perfect, fully healed, or all together to start helping others. You only need to be one step ahead. Who better to help an alcoholic than someone who is a recovering alcoholic? Who better to help someone struggling with depression than someone who is recovering from depression? Your greatest ministry will not come out of your strengths, but from your weaknesses.

1) Discover your greatest ministry.  Dedicate some time to think about the most significant hurt, hang-up, or painful habit in your life.  Why was it so significant in your life?  How did it affect you?  How did it affect the ones you love?  How did God help you to recover?  Write down your experience. Be honest with yourself. Describe the highs and lows of the path that led you to recovery. God has called on you to be a witness to what he has done in your life. Write the details of God's grace in your life as if you were telling the story of your experience to someone.

2) Start your ministry.  Pray and ask for God to guide you toward opportunities to share your experience.  Find someone in your life who is going through a similar experience. Share your story. Offer your support.  Identify groups to volunteer your time with. 'Celebrate Recovery' groups or other support groups offered by your church are great places to start helping those facing similar painful experiences you have had.  Launch your own ministry. Can't find a group to volunteer in? You think you might be alone in your pain? Guess again! Consider starting a support group in your church or your community to help others who are hurting. Just watch what God will do with your life!

6 If you want, you can use this as a closing prayer: “God, thank you for loving me enough to get my attention. I ask you to bring good out of the bad in my life. Help me to learn the lessons I need to learn. I want to learn to totally depend on you. I want to follow your word. I want to become all that you made me to be. I want you to use me to help others. Please give me hope when I feel hopeless and the power I need to change. I'm willing to follow your steps of recovery from here on. Help me to be honest about my faults and fears and frustrations and failures. Use me to encourage others. Thank you for always being with me. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.”

VII. Personal Prayer Needs (Suggested time: 10-15 min.) Take time to pray for the needs of each person.  Write these needs down in your DNA Journal so you can remember to pray for them and ask about them at your next gathering.

VIII. Important Church Announcements (Suggested time: 2-3 min.) Encourage people to participate in upcoming church opportunities, events, or worship services (Refer to The Connection for details).

This discussion has been adapted from Saddleback Church’s “Sermon Discussion Guide” on Life’s Healing Choices.