The World Series Begins Tonight Between the Giants and the Royals. I Ll Have to Admit I

Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

THE BITS…

The World Series begins tonight between the Giants and the Royals. I’ll have to admit I’m not really familiar with the Royals lineup. Which position does Prince Harry play?

The World Series begins tonight between the San Francisco Giants and the Kansas City Royals. I’m pretty excited because I just bought some primo tickets to game 8

It’s been revealed that Sharknado 3 will take place on the East Coast from Washington, D.C. to Florida. However, the sharks won’t eat any politicians in Washington out of professional courtesy.

Tori Spelling was rushed to the hospital over the weekend with Ebola-like symptoms. Tori said she hadn’t been to Africa, although she once dated a guy named Chad.

Tori Spelling was rushed to the hospital over the weekend with Ebola-like symptoms, although it turned out to be bronchitis. That’s surprising because it’s so unlike a reality show star to over-dramatize something.

Justin Bieber was reportedly reprimanded by Catholic Church officials after he kicked a soccer ball around the hallways during a private after-hours tour of the Vatican. To make up for it, the pope was granted an audience with Bieber.

Kim Kardashian is 34 years old today. Hopefully Kim doesn’t eat too much birthday cake because you’d hate to see her butt get big.

Kim Kardashian is 34 years old today. Kim plans to celebrate by relaxing, being lavished with expensive gifts and having people fawn over her. In other words, Kim isn’t planning anything special. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

SON OF THE BITS…

Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice has requested that she be allowed to serve her sentence in the prison that inspired Orange Is the New Black. However, her cast mates want to see her do time in the prison that inspired Oz.

Donald Trump is again hinting at a presidential run in 2016. Trump says it depends on who decides to run, the political climate, and whether he needs extra publicity for Celebrity Apprentice.

Donald Trump is again hinting at a presidential run in 2016 because he says President Obama is doing a "poor" and "horrible job." If Trump doesn’t like someone doing a poor and horrible job he should find someone else to do his hair.

President Obama cast his ballot early in Chicago. The polling place was pretty crowded. President Obama had to wait in line behind three dead guys.

Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky has joined Twitter. In fact, former President Clinton invited Monica to give him a tweet.

Scientists now say that sex has been around for 385 million years. They reached the conclusion after determining when Hugh Hefner lost his virginity.

Scientists now say that sex has been around for 385 million years. And if you don’t believe them, just ask Madonna.

According to a new study, nearly one in 10 people don’t have close friends. At least that’s what whozits and what-his-name told me.

Researchers say they’ve determined how most centenarians die. After exhaustive research, they concluded most centenarians die of old age. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

TODAY’S BITMAN AUDIO…

Today on the Bitman audio feed we have clips from The Voice, Dancing with the Stars, the Monday Night Football final call and a late night roundup with Dave, The Jimmys, Craig, Seth and Conan.

It’s all at www.BitmanComedy.com

Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne Munos at United Stations Radio Network at 561-381-7598 or [email protected]

Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

TINSELTOWN TATTLER…

TORI SPELLING had Ebola-like symptoms over the weekend and was rushed to the hospital. Tori was running a fever, coughing uncontrollably, and having trouble breathing and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital where the staff treated her as if she had Ebola and quarantined her from other patients and took other precautions. However, it wasn’t Ebola, but a severe case of bronchitis and/or possible pneumonia. Of course, it was all caught by the reality show cameras.

KYLIE JENNER and rapper TYGA still deny they're a couple, which is probably a smart thing to do since she's only 17 and he's 24, meaning that if they do what couples often do, it could be illegal. However, it hasn’t stopped them from traveling to Europe together where Tyga had a gig Sunday night in Athens, Greece. If you’re wondering, the age of consent in most European countries is 15 or 16.

If you want KIM KARDASHIAN to promote your product it’s going to cost you. Radar Online has gotten hold of an e-mail exchange between Kim’s rep and a company that was interested in hiring her to promote their brand. The emails reveal that Kim’s minimum rate for an endorsement is $750,000 to $1 million. In addition, Kim demands “5 first class tickets, plus 1 coach, first class hotel accommodations, first class exclusive ground transportation, airport greeter service, security, glam fee for her hair and makeup squad, and a per diem.” Kim’s rep also stated, “We would need approval over photographer, all photos used in print materials, glam squad, hotel/airline/car service and PR usage.”

Former Buffy the Vampire Slayer star NICHOLAS BRENDON now says he made a bad decision to mix pain medications with alcohol last weekend in Idaho and he's going to rehab. Brendon was arrested after he caused a disturbance in a hotel lobby in Boise while in town for a Comic Con event. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…

Real Housewives of New Jersey star TERESA GIUDICE has been dumped by her legal crisis manager Wendy Feldman. Apparently Teresa went behind Wendy’s back and requested that she be allowed to serve her prison sentence at Danbury Federal Prison in Connecticut, which was the inspiration for Orange Is the New Black, so she could visit with her children. Wendy said that by making the request, Teresa has jeopardized months of work.

KATY PERRY’S birthday is coming up on Saturday and she sent out a not-so- subtle tweet that all she wanted was her name on the marquee of the Shakey's Pizza parlor on Santa Monica Blvd. in Los Angeles. Not only has Katy’s wish come true, they say they’ll put a birthday message for Katy on the marquees of all their California locations. Word is they also want to name a pizza after Katy and throw her a birthday bash, but so far there are no firm plans in place.

Unholy terror JUSTIN BIEBER has reportedly been reprimanded by the Vatican. Bieber apparently took a private after-hours tour of Vatican City earlier this month, which included visits to the Vatican Museums and the Papal Apartments. However, during his visit, the staff scolded him for kicking a soccer ball around the hallways. There's no official confirmation from the Vatican, but Bieber did recently post a photo to Instagram that shows him holding a soccer ball at the Vatican.

A MILEY CYRUS fan claims he was able to sneak backstage after her show last Friday in Sydney, Australia by putting on a janitor’s outfit and cleaning up. Anthony Skinner says he just started emptying garbage cans and swept the floor and stuff for nearly an hour until a security guard told him to stand in a doorway as they "surrounded" Cyrus so she could leave the venue safely. However, Skinner says he froze when Miley came into view and all he could get out was 'Hey'. He says Miley looked at him, smiled and just kept walking. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…

New Movies on DVD:

Earth to Echo - Like E.T., only animated, and the names have been changed to protect the aliens.

The Purge: Anarchy - In a world where one night a year, all crime - including murder - is legal for 12 hours...

Sex Tape - Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz get frisky on camera.

New TV on DVD:

Downton Abbey: Seasons 1-4 Duck Dynasty: Seasons 4-6 Ghost Hunters: Season 9, Part 2 Mad Men: The Final Season, Part 1 Pee Wee's Playhouse: Complete Collection Red Skeleton Show: The Early Years Soul Man: Season 1

JIMMY KIMMEL will appear on SHARK TANK this Friday night with his sidekick Guillermo to pitch a product that they promise will change the fashion industry.

Among the changes for the upcoming season of AMERICAN IDOL, viewers will have a say in which contestant gets a golden ticket to the Hollywood rounds. Four hopefuls who haven’t been seen by the judges will get their shot with fans. You can check out their videos and vote for your favorite until midnight tonight at AmericanIdol.com/poll. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

DATELINE HOLLYWOOD 2…

It was Latin night on DANCING WITH THE STARS last night and in somewhat of a surprise, it was Jonathan Bennett and Allison Holker that were eliminated.

As was rumored, BETHENNY FRANKEL is returning to THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY. No word on whether Bethenny's rival, Jill Zarin, will return to torment her.

Yes, there will be a SHARKNADO 3 and the Syfy channel is promising that it’s going to be bigger than ever. This one will take place on what they call the "Feast Coast," from Washington, D.C. to Florida. No word on if Tara Reid and Ian Ziering will be back or when it’s scheduled to air.

There’s big news for ‘Bronies’ as Hasbro Studios has announced plans for a MY LITTLE PONY movie. Look for it sometime in 2017.

Fort Myers, Florida mother Susan Schrivjer has started a petition to have Toys R Us remove BREAKING BAD action figures from their stores. While she personally loved the show, Susan says the figurines that come complete with a detachable sack of cash and a bag of meth shouldn’t be placed alongside children’s toys. For their part, Toys R Us says the Breaking Bad packaging “clearly notes that the items are intended for ages 15 and up” and that they’re only sold “in the adult action figure area” of the stores. However, some of the action figures were found next to other toys and Bryan Cranston weighed in on Twitter saying he was burning his Florida mom action figure in protest.

Fashion designer OSCAR DE LA RENTA died yesterday at the age of 82. He was a favorite of celebrities including Oprah, Lea Michele, Jennifer Garner and Sarah Jessica Parker, and he designed Amal Clooney's wedding dress just last month. De la Renta had cancer in 2006 and at his women's wear show last month he was described as looking frail. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

MUSIC NOTES… New Music in Stores Today… Susan Boyle - “Hope” Boyz II Men - “Collide” Bush - “Man on the Run” Cold War Kids - “Hold My Home” Chris de Burgh - “The Hands of Man [MP3]“ Dennis DeYoung - “Dennis DeYoung and The Music of Styx Live in Los Angeles [CD/DVD]“ (Blu-ray; MP3) Neil Diamond - “Melody Road” Earth, Wind & Fire - “Holiday” (seasonal favorites and new songs) Aretha Franklin - “Aretha Franklin Sings the Great Diva Classics” Anthony Hamilton - “Home for the Holidays” Billy Idol - “Kings & Queens of the Underground” Kiesza - “Sound of a Woman” Annie Lennox - “Nostalgia” (standards album) Little Big Town - “Pain Killer” Pentatonix (winners of NBC’s “The Sing-Off”) - “That’s Christmas to Me” Primus - “Primus & The Chocolate Factory with the Fungi Ensemble” (first album from Les Claypool, Larry LaLonde and Tim Alexander lineup in nearly 20 years) T.I. - “Paperwork” The Ting Tings - “Super Critical” Reissues (CD / vinyl) Alice Cooper - “Raise the Dead: Live From Wacken” Gavin DeGraw - “Finest Hour: The Best of Gavin DeGraw” (w/three new songs) The Hollies - “50 At Fifty [Box set]“ (three CDs, 49 songs) Spandau Ballet - “The Story: The Very Best of Spandau Ballet” (two CDs, 29 tracks, including three new songs) DVD / Blu-ray Deep Purple - “Deep Purple With Orchestra: Live in Verona [DVD]“ (filmed in the summer of 2011 at Arena di Verona in Rome) TLC - “CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story [DVD]“ Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

MUSIC NOTES 2…

RINGO STARR will be the first-ever musician/spokesman for Skechers Relaxed Fit footwear line. The company said in a statement, "Ringo possesses the charm, cool charisma and instant global recognition that will elevate awareness for our popular Relaxed Fit footwear collection" and "Is the perfect ambassador to illustrate how our comfortable footwear helps keep you relaxed in any situation."

CARLOS SANTANA will perform an instrumental rendition of the national anthem with his son before Game 4 of the World Series on Saturday night at AT&T Park in San Francisco.

CAT STEVENS’ latest album, Tell 'Em I'm Gone, will be out next week. It’s said to be reminiscent of Stevens’ 70s sound and it’s now streaming online at the NPR website. (Hear here)

BARRY MANILOW has a new album coming out next week called My Dream Duets. The twist on this album is that all of his duet partners are deceased. Manilow performs on the album with such greats as Whitney Houston, Dusty Springfield and John Denver thanks to a technique that can lift their voices from old recordings.

American Music Awards producers say SINEAD O'CONNOR was blowing smoke about them asking Pope Francis to introduce her on their show. Producers were interested in Sinead being on the show, but the pope thing was her idea and once her crazy story surfaced, they lost interest.

TAYLOR SWIFT has announced that 'Welcome to New York' is the new single off her upcoming 1989 album. Taylor says, "I started the album with 'Welcome to New York', because New York has been an important landscape and location for the story of my life in the last couple of years…I saw New York as a place of endless potential and possibilities." Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

MUSIC NOTES 3…

KESHA got served with legal papers by her producer DR. LUKE, although it may not be legally binding as the process server showed up at her L.A. home and slapped legal papers on the front door without serving her personally.

JASON DERULO recently broke up with longtime girlfriend Jordin Sparks and when asked if he planned to use the breakup as inspiration for songs he said, “Oh, 100 percent. I'm somebody who cannot keep those two things separate. Like, I have to put it on paper, put it on wax, put it in my songs.”

PITBULL will once again host the American Music Awards. Pitbull and Charli XCX are the first confirmed performers for the show, which will air November 23rd on ABC. It’ll be the second year in a row that Pitbull has hosted.

Apparently not above making a buck off of suckers, rapper CAM’RON is selling face masks which he says provide complete protection from Ebola while remaining light and comfortable. The masks have his picture on them, but he fails to mention that the CDC says you can’t catch Ebola by breathing on someone, although you’re still free to waste $19.99.

ALAN JACKSON will kick off his 25th anniversary tour on January 8th in Fort Myers, Florida. Jackson also plans to release a new album in 2015.

JASON ALDEAN has announced plans for another leg of his Burn It Down Tour. The new dates will begin next February in South Carolina.

TRISHA YEARWOOD will perform "The Star-Spangled Banner" before tonight’s Game 1 of the World Series at Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City. LITTLE BIG TOWN will sing the anthem before Game 2 on Wednesday. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

TUBULAR… Daytime: GMA: Little Big Town performs; latest ``Dancing with the Stars'' castoffs Today: Bradley Cooper, author John Grisham; Keanu Reeves; Gene Simmons; William Shatner; Sofia Vergara; rapper T.I.. Kelly & Michael: Keanu Reeves; Kiesza performs The View: ``Dancing With the Stars'' castoffs The Talk: Boyz II Men performs Queen Latifah: Actress Zoe Saldana Ellen: Kat Dennings; Sheppard performs

Primetime: Fox: World Series Game 1 Giants at Royals NBC: The Voice Battles Part 4 with Stevie Nicks, Little Big Town, Alicia Keys and Gavin Rossdale serving as advisors ESPN2: College football Arkansas State at Louisiana-Lafayette NBC Sports: NHL Flyers at Blackhawks TNT: Preseason NBA Rockets at Heat and Clippers at Warriors

Late Night: Jimmy Kimmel: Bill Murray; actors Jack Black and Kyle Gass David Letterman: Mark Harmon; animal expert Jack Hanna (R) Jimmy Fallon: Barbra Streisand performs (R) Craig Ferguson: Actor Pierce Brosnan Seth Meyers: Bill Hader; Walk the Moon performs (R) Conan: Actor Dana Carvey Bitman By DavidBitman Evjen [email protected] David Evjen [email protected] Friday, May 29th, 2009 Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

THE WATERCOOLER…

The Orionid meteor shower will be visible again tonight. There could be as many as 25 meteors per hour at its peak and, assuming clouds don't block your view, the lack of a bright moon will help you spot them. Viewing should be best in the Midwest, most of the South and the Southwest, while clouds could block the view in the Northeast, the Pacific Northwest and the northern Rockies and High Plains. To see the meteors, look to the east and southeast sky between midnight and dawn.

If you had a baby yesterday in the U.S., your newborn is eligible for a free $500 mutual fund investment from Voya Financial. In case you didn’t know, this is National Save for Retirement Week and they’re offering the money to the babies as a head start toward their future retirement savings. Parents must register for the offer at voya.com/borntosave by December 19th.

Researchers now say that if you drink a 20-ounce soda daily, you may be causing your cells to age as much as they would if you smoked. They found that drinking sugary soda was associated with shorter telomeres, which are the caps on the ends of our cells' chromosomes. They say shorter telomeres appear to be linked to heart disease, cancer, and diabetes. The study found that a daily 20-ounce soda was associated with an extra 4.6 years of aging, the same figure seen in smokers. The good news is 100% fruit juice was marginally associated with longer telomeres.

With Halloween approaching, you might want to steer clear of the candy corn. Researchers say that high consumption of sugar, namely high fructose corn syrup, has been associated with memory dysfunction and brain inflammation and that adolescents are particularly at risk. In a test on laboratory mice that consumed these sugars, they demonstrated increased difficulty negotiating a familiar maze, apparently due to the sugar’s effect on the brain’s memory center. The scary news is the average American teenager gets nearly one-fifth of their calories from these added sugars alone. Bitman By DavidBitman Evjen [email protected] David Evjen [email protected] Friday, May 29th, 2009 Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

THE WATERCOOLER 2…

If you want to start a family you may want to avoid Starbucks for awhile. A new study finds that drinking too much coffee can radically reduce a man’s ability to father children. Researchers found that men who drank two or more cups of strong coffee a day had just a 20 percent chance of becoming fathers through IVF. However, those who drank less than a cup saw their chances rise to nearly 52 percent. On the other hand, the study also found that men who drink around a pint and a half of beer per night could improve their fertility, although they cautioned father-to-be hopefuls not drink more than two pints. Health experts say moderate amounts of alcohol may reduce stress levels and help conception. They also noted that anything that’s good for your heart health is also good for your fertility, so physical exercise and a well-balanced diet are also helpful.

According to a new report, when you were born can affect your mood later in life. Researchers now say that people born in the spring and summer are more likely to suffer from mood swings, while those born in the winter are much less likely to develop an irritable temperament and those born in the autumn were less likely to be depressive. Researchers studied 400 people and matched their personality type to the season they were born. The scientists say it’s because the seasons had an influence on certain neurotransmitters, such as dopamine and serotonin, which control mood, although they say more research is needed to find out why.

At one time or another many of us have tried to pack ourselves into crowded commuter trains. However, it proved especially difficult for one man riding on São Paolo’s Metro train. He apparently found the experience arousing, but when he attempted to crowd onto the train just before the doors closed, he turned around to face outward and got his member stuck in the doors when they closed. Although it was likely a hoax, a Good Samaritan ran to the doors and pried them open so our friend could get himself situated. (See here) Bitman By DavidBitman Evjen [email protected] David Evjen [email protected] Friday, May 29th, 2009 Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

THE WATERCOOLER 3…

If you’re planning a vacation and can’t decide where to go, readers of Condé Nast Traveler have rated their favorite cities. Topping the list was Florence, Italy, which was chosen for its beauty in its art, architecture, history, and cuisine. It’s also where Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were married back in May, for what that’s worth. A few American cities made the list, including the No. 2 pick of Charleston, South Carolina, No. 10 Santa Fe, New Mexico, New Orleans at No. 17 and No. 20 San Francisco.

Some people don’t like Ben & Jerry’s Hazed and Confused ice cream. It’s not so much the hazelnut flavor they don’t like; they’re upset because they feel it’s insensitive to hazing victims. The new flavor is meant to be a riff on the pop culture phrase “dazed and confused,” made famous by the movie and a Led Zeppelin song. However, anti-hazing activists in Florida wrote a letter to Ben & Jerry asking them to rename the ice cream. Ben & Jerry’s say they have no plans to change the name saying, “Not a lot of words rhyme with ‘hazelnut,’” adding that it was “never intended to have any association with hazing.”

Scientists now say that sex has been around for 385 million years, which is much earlier than previously believed. They say an extinct vertebrate named "Microbrachius dicki" was the first to accomplish the feat. One scientist says, "Fundamentally, they could not have done it in the missionary position. The very first act of copulation was done sideways, square-dance style." Fossils show the male fish had bony, ever-rigid L-shaped organs that they steered between small, paired bones of the females, which the scientists liken to cheese graters in that they were very rough and acted like Velcro, locking the male into position. The creatures also had small arms, which they believe they linked together in order to help them assume the proper position. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

SPORTS SHIRT…

The World Series begins tonight, but will it be the sweet smell of success for the Kansas City Royals? Shortstop Alcides Escobar and catcher Salvador Perez wear women's perfume during every game for good luck. It started last season when Escobar, who was struggling offensively, spritzed on some Victoria's Secret fragrance and got two or three hits and Perez soon picked up the habit.

It’s being reported that the St. Louis Rams are the team the NFL considers most likely to move to Los Angeles. They also report that the 60-acre plot team owner Stan Kroenke purchased in Inglewood is the most likely site for the team's stadium

The NHL has suspended the Los Angeles Kings’ Slava Voynov indefinitely after he was arrested early Monday morning on domestic violence charges. The Kings issued a statement saying they support the NHL's decision to suspend Voynov pending an investigation.

Oklahoma State football players Jhajuan Seales and Juwan Offray were arrested early Sunday morning after they fell asleep at the wheel of their car in the drive- thru of a Whataburger in Stillwater. The vehicle was running when officers approached and they noted a very strong alcohol odor coming from the men.

Tiger Woods is reported to be hitting full shots on the range again and is expected to return to competition at his foundation's Hero World Challenge in Orlando starting December 4th.

Golfer Rory McIlroy says he plans to take a month off from the game to prepare for a court case between him and his former sports management company after mediation failed to resolve their differences. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

Scoreboard Today’s Games NFL: World Series Pittsburgh 30 Houston 23 Final San Francisco at Kansas City (8:07 PM)

NHL: NHL: Edmonton 3 Tampa Bay 2 Final San Jose at Boston (7:00 PM) N.Y. Rangers at New Jersey (7:00 PM) Toronto at N.Y. Islanders (7:00 PM) Detroit at Montreal (7:30 PM) Arizona at Nashville (8:00 PM) Carolina at Winnipeg (8:00 PM) Philadelphia at Chicago (8:30 PM) Vancouver at Dallas (8:30 PM) Florida at Colorado (9:00 PM) Tampa Bay at Calgary (9:00 PM) Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

DUH…

An unnamed 39-year-old Michigan woman went to pick up her boyfriend at a local bar around 2 a.m. Sunday. Unfortunately, the woman mistook the Van Buren County jail for the bar. A deputy spotted the woman backing into the jail parking lot and noticed she smelled of alcohol and appeared intoxicated. A breath test showed her at more than twice the legal limit to drive and she was arrested.

Robinson, Pennsylvania’s 46-year-old Frank Gordon Conway had a few too many adult beverages and decided that it wouldn’t be a good idea to try and drive home. Unfortunately, he later told police that "he did not see a problem" in letting his 8- year-old son drive his 2014 Jeep Cherokee. With the boy sitting between his legs in the driver's seat and operating its pedals and steering wheel, dad may have seen a problem when the SUV went through yards and a parking lot before hitting a tree. The boy suffered face and chest injuries and dad now faces numerous charges.

Plattsburgh, New York’s Stephen Ales and Michael Lilledahl made arrangements to purchase marijuana from Jason Strainer and Peter Avramis. However, instead of paying, Stephen and Michael grabbed the pot and sped away. However, Jason and Peter got even by calling police and reporting that an occupant of a car was pointing a handgun at passing vehicles and gave a description of the car driven by Stephen and Michael. Police caught up with the pair, but found no gun, although they did find the pot and arrested them. However, the story doesn’t end there as Stephen and Michael ratted out Jason and Peter and police arrested them as well.

Framingham, Massachusetts’ 23-year-old Allison Voner allegedly drove her car while doing both heroin and cocaine, and going on a tirade against her probation officer. Guess who had the last laugh after Allison posted that video on her Facebook page? Framingham District Court Judge Douglas Stoddart ordered Allison held on $5,000 bail on one case, revoked her probation on another case and ordered her held on a warrant for another court saying, "I just saw the most incriminating video I've ever seen in my 36 years" in the legal profession. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

MO’ DUH…

Thousand Oaks, California’s 30-year-old Genoveva Nunez-Figueroa recently met a man online that she apparently took a liking to. After about a half dozen dates Genoveva decided to express her feelings for him by sliding down his…chimney. Unfortunately, she became stuck and after neighbors heard her cries for help, firefighters had to demolish the chimney with a jackhammer and then used liquid soap to extract Genoveva. It’s not likely that Genoveva will get another date with the man, especially since his chimney and part of his roof were destroyed, and because she was taken to jail.

A Valrico, Florida man identifying himself as Justin J Speekz posted shirtless photos of himself on Facebook from his workplace at a Chili's restaurant. The photos showed Justin lying on a kitchen table where food is handled. Apparently there were no health code violations since there was no food on the table in the photos that were labeled: Sexy Cooks of Chili's. Justin might want to re-label those photos Sexy Ex-Cooks of Chili's as he was fired when the photos surfaced.

Lake Stevens, Washington’s 43-year-old Hans Hansen is accused of shooting at police stations, patrol cars and officers in the area. There’s apparently a method to Hansen’s madness as he told detectives that because of his failed business, declining health and an impending home foreclosure he wanted to be killed. As he was being treated for a head wound at a local hospital he complained of poor police marksmanship saying, "Your guys aren't very good shots."

As a man was paying a clerk at a Fort Lauderdale gas station, Johnny Big Sims approached the man, grabbed the cash from his hand and fled. Sims was nice enough to show up at the same station again the next day. It just so happened that the same customer was also there and he called police. Sims was arrested and he had to be handcuffed again at police headquarters when he refused repeated orders to stop pleasuring himself. Bitman By David Evjen [email protected]

HISTORY LESSON…

1797: The U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, also known as Old Ironsides, was launched in Boston Harbor. 1849: The first tattooed man, James F. O’Connell, was put on exhibition at the Franklin Theatre in New York City 1858: The Can-Can dance was performed for the first time in Paris. 1879: Thomas Edison first demonstrated the electric light 1918: Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per minute on a manual typewriter 1921: The World Series was broadcast on radio for the first time 1954: Actor Barry Nelson became the first person to play James Bond when he appeared on the TV series Climax in an episode titled "Casino Royale." 1957: Elvis Presley's Jailhouse Rock movie premiered 1958: Buddy Holly used strings for the first time on a rock and roll record when he cut It Doesn't Matter Anymore during his last recording session 1960: The final Kennedy - Nixon presidential debate was held 1967: Thousands of anti-war demonstrators marched in Washington, D.C. and tried to storm the Pentagon. 1980: The Philadelphia Phillies won their first World Series title 1992: Madonna's Sex book went on sale 1996: The Dow Jones industrial average topped the 6,000 mark for the first time. 1998: The New York Yankees set a major league record with 125 victories for the regular and postseason combined.

Birthday Partiers: musician Manfred Mann 74 TV's Judge Judy 72 actress Carrie Fisher (Star Wars, Shampoo, Hannah and Her Sisters) 58 celebrity Kim Kardashian 34 model Amber Rose 31