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assertiveness caring cleanliness commitment compassion confidence consideration cooperation courage courtesy creativity detachment determination diligence enthusiasm excellence flexibility forgiveness friendliness generosity gentleness helpfulness honesty honor humility idealism integrity joyfulness kindness love loyalty moderation modesty Dreaming Bird by Laura Auffray orderliness patience peacefulness Mastering the 5 Strategies of perseverance purposefulness  reliability The Virtues Project respect responsibility self-discipline A Personal Journal to Enrich Your Life In 40 Daysservice tact thankfulness Betsy Lydle Smith & Heather Acres tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 1 assertiveness caring cleanliness commitment compassion confidence consideration cooperation courage courtesy creativity detachment determination diligence enthusiasm excellence flexibility forgiveness friendliness Please support the global work of Virtues Project International generosity with justice and integrity by purchasing this journal and not gentleness duplicating or forwarding it or others. helpfulness honesty You may, however, use up to five pages of this journal to share honor with your workshop participants or in your work with others humility idealism integrity joyfulness kindness love loyalty moderation modesty orderliness patience peacefulness perseverance purposefulness reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 2 assertiveness caring Welcome! cleanliness commitment compassion confidence Welcome to Mastering the Five Strategies of The Virtues Project - A consideration Personal Journal to Enrich Your Life in 40 Days. This program is cooperation designed to assist you in practicing the principles and five strategies of courage The Virtues Project™ daily in a consistent and simple way. Working with courtesy this journal every day for 40 days, will help you to: creativity detachment  Develop your own virtues determination  Learn and integrate the five strategies of The Virtues Project into diligence your everyday life enthusiasm  Create life-long habits that improve how you treat yourself and excellence flexibility others forgiveness  Live a life of greater integrity friendliness generosity Linda Kavelin Popov, Dr. Dan Popov, and John Kavelin founded The gentleness Virtues Project™ in 1990. Since that time this highly successful project helpfulness has been used by individuals in more than 95 countries of the world. For honesty more information about The Virtues Project™, go to honor www.virtuesproject.com. humility idealism Just as regular exercise is helpful for building strength in the body, the integrity daily practices found in this journal are helpful for strengthening our joyfulness kindness virtues. We invite you to pick a time each day when you can spend 10 to love 20 minutes of quiet, uninterrupted time. If you miss a day, be gentle with loyalty yourself, and continue on the next day. moderation modesty We have been practicing many of the simple exercises in this journal for orderliness over 15 years and deeply enjoy incorporating a virtues-based routine of patience reverence into our daily lives. Mindfully practicing the five strategies of peacefulness The Virtues Project has helped us to deepen our relationships with perseverance others and to live a life of greater integrity. Through our extensive work purposefulness with the Virtues Project since the early 90’s, we have seen how others reliability benefit by deepening in their ability to implement the five strategies into respect responsibility their own lives. Practice, practice, practice. That’s how we become who self-discipline we are meant to be. service tact We are deeply indebted to Linda Kavelin Popov, Dr. Dan Popov, and John thankfulness Kavelin, founders of The Virtues Project™. Their vision of changing the tolerance world in two generations, by providing materials and strategies for helping trust people of all cultures to live by their virtues in everyday life, continues to trustworthiness inspire and guide us. We believe that this journal is one tool to truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 3 complement The Virtues Project™ materials, which the founders have so assertiveness generously offered to the world. caring cleanliness Our hope for you is that you will love doing this program and that you will commitment acknowledge yourself for your purposefulness, your self-discipline, your compassion reliability to yourself, and that in 40 days your confidence to master the confidence consideration five strategies of The Virtues Project will soar! cooperation courage courtesy Betsy Lydle Smith of Bellevue, Washington (U.S.) and Heather Acres of creativity Flin Flon, Manitoba (Canada) are Master Facilitators that have been detachment actively working with The Virtues Project since 1992 and 1995 determination respectively. Between the two of them they have facilitated numerous diligence workshops for youth and adults in community, school and workplace enthusiasm settings. They have also coached and mentored both children and adults excellence individually to help them strengthen their virtues. flexibility forgiveness friendliness Betsy and Heather have collaborated together in the past to produce the generosity following manuals that are available through the “shop” section of gentleness www.virtuesproject.com: helpfulness honesty  Master Facilitator Workshop Manual honor  2 Day Introduction to The Virtues Project humility  3-Day Virtues Project Facilitator Program idealism integrity Betsy can be reached by email at [email protected] or through her website joyfulness www.virtuestraining.com. Heather can be reached at [email protected] kindness love loyalty Many thanks to Laura Auffray, of Chilliwack, BC, for creating the cover moderation page painting, Dreaming Bird, specifically for this journal. modesty orderliness patience We would also like to thank Stephen Veit, Michelle Sabet, N. Atin, Kay peacefulness Miller, Asali Powers and Jennifer Mitz for their service providing excellent perseverance feedback on our draft journal which helped us to make refinements. purposefulness reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 4 assertiveness caring Preparation cleanliness commitment compassion The five strategies of The Virtues Project™ are detailed at length in The confidence Family Virtues Guide by Linda Kavelin Popov, Dr. Dan Popov, and John consideration Kavelin, and in The Virtues Project Educator’s Guide by Linda Kavelin cooperation Popov. It is suggested that you read one of these books before you begin courage and refer to it often as you do this program. A Pace of Grace, by Linda courtesy Kavelin Popov, also provides guidance and information about The Virtues creativity Project™ strategies and practices. detachment determination diligence Begin each day by opening your journal and filling in the date. You may enthusiasm find that it’s helpful to use the journal each morning before you move into excellence your day’s activities, as we do. flexibility forgiveness You will need: friendliness generosity  A copy of The Family Virtues Guide or The Virtues Project™ gentleness Educator’s Guide on hand. They are available through helpfulness www.virtuesproject/virtuesshop.com honesty honor humility  A book that consists of writings that you find to be inspirational idealism integrity  A set of virtues cards. If you don’t have the cards, you can use one joyfulness of the Virtues guides for the virtues pick that you will be doing each kindness day. love loyalty There are 7 days of journal entries for each of the five strategies. Each moderation daily page contains a quote relevant to the strategy, and several questions modesty for you to reflect on and practice. Each strategy contains examples and a orderliness story to illustrate the strategy. The last five days of the journal are for patience reflection, integration and evaluation of the previous daily entries. peacefulness perseverance purposefulness reliability A way you can enhance your experience with Mastering the Five respect Strategies of The Virtues Project is to collaborate with a group of responsibility trusted friends. You can establish weekly gatherings to review the self-discipline exercises that each of you completed, share insights and experiences. service This may also help you with your daily commitment to the journal. tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 5 assertiveness caring RPMS cleanliness commitment RPMS is a term coined by The Virtues Project™ founder, Linda Kavelin compassion Popov. It’s an acronym for a routine of reverence that includes reading, confidence prayer, meditation and service. consideration cooperation Linda recommends beginning every day with Honoring the Spirit. We courage have found that incorporating a daily routine of reverence that includes courtesy RPMS is an excellent way to help us lead a more virtues-based life: creativity detachment determination  Reading. Choose something inspirational. diligence enthusiasm  Prayer. There are many ways to pray. It could involve reading, excellence talking, singing, chanting, writing, moving, or dancing your prayer, flexibility whatever feels meaningful and genuine to you. forgiveness friendliness  Meditation. This could be as simple as a few moments of quiet generosity reflection or as sophisticated as a deeper meditation style that has gentleness taken years of skill-developing practice. There are many ways to helpfulness meditate. honesty honor humility  Service. Look for opportunities daily to incorporate your virtues- idealism based beliefs into action. integrity joyfulness Each daily page of this journal begins with RPMS. There will be one kindness suggested activity each day under RPMS. Although it’s wonderful if you love can do all four components of RPMS every day, this journal focuses on loyalty one per day. moderation modesty You may already have a spiritual practice in place, or this may be the orderliness jumpstart you need to begin your own spiritual practice. This isn’t meant patience to replace anything you already do; it is provided as a way for you to peacefulness perseverance Honor Your Spirit, which is the fourth of the five strategies. purposefulness reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 6 assertiveness caring Creating Your Own Sacred Space cleanliness commitment compassion Have you created a special place in your home for yourself? A place confidence where you can begin your day in a peaceful, quiet environment, without consideration distractions? In order to get the most out of your RPMS, it’s best if you cooperation create a special environment; your own sacred space. This might be a courage special corner in your living room, bedroom or den. Here’s one way you courtesy can do it. Place a beautiful cloth or scarf on a small table. Place some of creativity your special sacred objects on the cloth, such as a prayer book, sacred detachment writings or inspirational book, a set of virtues cards, a candle, flowers, determination diligence something of beauty, your journal, and other treasures that remind you of enthusiasm the sacred. excellence flexibility If you have young children, you might have to get up earlier to have your forgiveness own special quiet time. For several years, Betsy did her RPMS in the friendliness botanical gardens in her city. Early in the morning, almost no one else generosity was there. She found a special rock to sit on by a small waterfall, under a gentleness Japanese maple, and did her RPMS, a virtues pick and wrote in her helpfulness journal. She followed this by a brisk walk on nearby trails. This process honesty centered her, invigorated her, and prepared her for a very stressful job. honor On the way to work she would play uplifting music. When she got to work, humility she was really prepared - spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally idealism integrity -for whatever the day would bring. She was able to be more caring, joyfulness loving, and detached because of this mindful preparation, and her kindness students benefited from it as well. love loyalty Whatever sacred space you create, make it your own. Make it meaningful moderation for you. modesty orderliness patience peacefulness perseverance purposefulness reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 7 assertiveness caring Strategy # 1 cleanliness Speaking the Language of the Virtues commitment compassion Language has great influence to empower or discourage. Self-esteem is confidence consideration built when shaming, blaming language is replaced by calling each other cooperation and ourselves to the virtues. Language is a frame of reference for courage bringing out the best in children, adults and ourselves. It can be used to courtesy acknowledge, guide, and correct. creativity detachment You may find it helpful to read about Speaking the Language of The determination Virtues in The Family Virtues Guide (p.19-25) or The Virtues Project diligence Educator’s Guide (p.3-27). enthusiasm excellence flexibility forgiveness We have learned that Speaking the Language of the Virtues has an friendliness generosity extraordinary ability to help transform us so that our very best qualities are gentleness strengthened. Here is a story from Vernessa Hunt-Hassan about an helpfulness experience she had while teaching at a bilingual school in Honduras: honesty honor I had a fourth grade student by the name of Ray. He always had trouble humility turning in his homework since 1st grade. His third grade teacher would idealism have him stand in front of the class and apologize to his classmate and integrity teacher for not bringing in his homework admitting he was not a true joyfulness Champion. This he did gladly and continued to not bring in his kindness homework. So, I tried keeping him in from recess to do his homework love instead of playing outside with the other children. His mother tried loyalty punishing him at home. He would get detention after school where he moderation would have to complete his late homework. None of this worked. modesty orderliness patience I began using the language of virtues by calling him to the action I peacefulness expected of him. I used the virtue of being trustworthy. He assured me perseverance he could be trustworthy and he would prove it to me by bringing in his purposefulness homework the next day. It worked; he brought in all of his homework done reliability correctly. So I began calling him Trustworthy Ray, which he loved, and respect each day at the end of class I would ask, Will I be able to trust you tonight responsibility Ray? He assured me and each morning he would report to my desk self-discipline saying, "Trustworthy Ray here with all of his homework". service tact This showed me how easy it is to use the language of virtues to bring out thankfulness the best in my students. tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 8 When giving a virtues acknowledgement you are noticing a virtue that assertiveness someone is demonstrating or practicing. A virtues acknowledgement has caring three parts: an opening phrase, naming the virtue, and saying how you cleanliness see it demonstrated. Examples are: commitment compassion “I would like to acknowledge you for your patience. I saw you waiting confidence consideration patiently for Joseph to finish talking.” cooperation courage “You were really helpful when you picked up that book at the library for courtesy me.” creativity detachment “I saw your compassion in the way you treated your dog.” determination diligence “Your reliability has been really helpful to me. I can always count on you enthusiasm to be on time.” excellence flexibility “That took a lot of determination to continue this project to the end.” forgiveness friendliness generosity “I acknowledge myself for assertiveness in telling the truth about how I gentleness really feel.” helpfulness honesty “I honor you for your love and caring for your daughter. It is evident in all honor the help you have given her, even when it’s been really hard for you.” humility idealism “Your sense of justice stands out. Thank you for speaking out.” integrity joyfulness Notice that the words “thank you” or “I appreciate” haven’t been used or kindness haven’t been used often. This is purposeful. Virtues acknowledgements love aren’t about the speaker. They are about the person being loyalty acknowledged. When we give acknowledgements, we are observing, moderation modesty noticing what the other person is doing. It’s about internal orderliness acknowledgement, not for external reward. When we acknowledge patience others, we are seeing the gems they have within and saying how we’ve peacefulness seen them practiced. perseverance purposefulness The language of the virtues can also be used to provide guidance or reliability correction. The exercises in the Speaking the Language of the Virtues respect section of this journal develop skill in giving virtues acknowledgements. responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 9 assertiveness caring Day 1 cleanliness Speaking the Language of the Virtues commitment compassion Date confidence consideration “If you fill a home, a school, or a workplace with words such as lazy, stupid, and bad, that is the cooperation behavior which follows, but if you use words such as courage, helpfulness, and flexibility, you are courage empowering those behaviors, whether in a child, an employee, or a friend.” courtesy Linda Kavelin Popov creativity detachment 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service determination diligence Read something inspiring today. Reflect on its meaning for you. enthusiasm Comments: excellence flexibility forgiveness Write your friendliness response in the shaded 2. What virtue will you be mindful about today? (Randomly pick a generosity area virtue card and read it to yourself front and back.) gentleness helpfulness honesty honor 3. Daily affirmation: humility idealism Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding integrity your hand over your heart. joyfulness kindness i.e. From the virtue of friendliness: “I am friendly. I smile and say hello to people. love I share myself and show interest in others. I like myself and I know I can make loyalty new friends.” moderation modesty orderliness 4. A virtues acknowledgement is when you acknowledge someone for patience a virtue you noticed him/her practicing. You mention the virtue and peacefulness how you saw it demonstrated. perseverance purposefulness I noticed that used the virtue of recently. Here’s how I reliability noticed him/her use it: respect responsibility I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . Here’s how I practiced self-discipline it: service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 10 assertiveness Day 2 caring Speaking the Language of the Virtues cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Tell a child, a husband or an employee that he is stupid or dumb at a certain thing, that he has consideration no gift for it, and that he is doing it all wrong and you have destroyed almost every incentive to try cooperation to improve. But use the opposite technique, be liberal with encouragement; make the thing seem courage easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an courtesy undeveloped flair for it -- and he will practice until the dawn comes in at the window in order to excel.” creativity Dale Carnegie detachment determination 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service diligence enthusiasm excellence Say a special prayer today, or think of someone you love and send flexibility him or her loving thoughts. Comments: forgiveness friendliness generosity 2. What virtue will help you today? (Randomly pick a virtue card and gentleness read it to yourself front and back.) What gift or message does this helpfulness virtue have for you? honesty honor humility 3. Daily affirmation: idealism integrity Think about how the virtue you picked in #2 has developed over joyfulness kindness time within you. Comments: love loyalty moderation 4. Acknowledge your successes: modesty orderliness See page 9 I acknowledged for the virtue of recently. Here’s what patience for examples I said: peacefulness of how to give perseverance a virtues purposefulness acknowledge- I could have acknowledged for the virtue of . Here’s reliability ment what I could have said: respect responsibility I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . Here’s how I self-discipline practiced it: service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 11 assertiveness Day 3 caring Speaking the Language of the Virtues cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people consideration will never forget how you made them feel.” cooperation Maya Angelou courage courtesy 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service creativity detachment Listen to a piece of beautiful music today. determination diligence Describe how you feel after listening to the music. What is the enthusiasm feeling you want to carry with you throughout your day? excellence flexibility forgiveness 2. What virtue will guide you in your work today? (Randomly pick a friendliness generosity virtue card and read it to yourself front and back.) How will this gentleness guide you? helpfulness honesty I have noticed that seems to be strong in this virtue. This is honor how he/she demonstrates it: humility idealism integrity 3. Daily affirmation: joyfulness kindness Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding love your hand over your heart. loyalty moderation modesty orderliness 4. Acknowledge your successes: patience peacefulness I acknowledged for the virtue of . Here’s what I said: perseverance purposefulness reliability I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . Here’s how I respect practiced it: responsibility self-discipline service 5. Giving virtues acknowledgements is sometimes difficult to do. This tact is why it’s challenging for you: thankfulness tolerance trust This is your plan for improving your ability to give virtues trustworthiness acknowledgements: truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 12 assertiveness Day 4 caring Speaking the Language of the Virtues cleanliness commitment compassion Date confidence consideration “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest cooperation compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” courage Leo Buscaglia courtesy creativity detachment 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service determination diligence enthusiasm What action will you take today to be of service? excellence flexibility forgiveness 2. Select the virtue card that you need to help you be of service and friendliness read it front and back. What message does it have for you? generosity gentleness helpfulness 3. Daily affirmation: honesty honor Think about how the virtue you picked in #2 has developed over humility time within you. Comments: idealism integrity joyfulness kindness 4. Acknowledge your successes: love loyalty I acknowledged for the virtue of . Here’s what I said: moderation modesty orderliness I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . Here’s how I patience practiced it: peacefulness perseverance purposefulness reliability 5. This is what you did to improve your ability to give virtues respect acknowledgements: responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 13 assertiveness caring Day 5 cleanliness Speaking the Language of the Virtues commitment compassion Date confidence consideration “Words are the voice of the heart” cooperation Confucius courage courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment determination Read something inspiring today. Reflect on its meaning for you: diligence enthusiasm excellence flexibility forgiveness 2. What virtue do you need in your relationship with ? friendliness (Randomly pick a virtue card and read it to yourself front and back.) generosity gentleness How could this virtue help you in your relationship with her/him? helpfulness honesty honor humility 3. Daily affirmation: idealism integrity Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding joyfulness your hand over your heart. kindness love loyalty moderation 4. Acknowledge your successes: modesty orderliness I noticed practicing the virtue of . Here’s what I said: patience peacefulness perseverance I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . Here’s how I purposefulness practiced it: reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 14 assertiveness caring Day 6 cleanliness Speaking the Language of the Virtues commitment compassion confidence Date consideration cooperation “As children we hoard and gloat over words. Words give ownership: we name our world and we courage claim it...Children trust the power of words.” courtesy Julia Cameron creativity detachment determination 1. RPMS: RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service diligence enthusiasm Say a special prayer today, or think of someone in the world and excellence send him or her loving thoughts. Comments: flexibility forgiveness friendliness 2. What virtue will help you make a decision about: (Describe a situation generosity that you have to make a decision about and randomly pick a virtue card and read gentleness it to yourself front and back.) helpfulness honesty How will this virtue help you with your decision? honor humility idealism integrity 3. Daily affirmation: joyfulness kindness Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the love virtue you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. loyalty moderation modesty orderliness 4. Acknowledge your successes: patience peacefulness I acknowledged for the virtue of . Here’s what I said: perseverance purposefulness reliability respect I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . Here’s how I responsibility demonstrated it: self-discipline service tact 5. This is what you have learned about giving virtues thankfulness acknowledgements so far this week: tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 15 assertiveness Day 7 caring Speaking the Language of the Virtues cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Words are some of the most powerful and important things I know....Language is the tool of love consideration and the weapon of hatred. It's the bright red warning flag of danger--and the stone foundation of cooperation diplomacy and peace.” courage Anonymous courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment determination Do a simple meditation today. Close your eyes and take a few diligence deep breaths; just sit quietly for a few minutes, focusing on your enthusiasm regular breathing. As thoughts come into your mind, gently let excellence them go and refocus on your breathing; your inhale and exhale flexibility should be about the same length. forgiveness friendliness Describe how you feel after meditating. How can you take this generosity feeling with you today? gentleness helpfulness honesty honor 2. What virtue will you be mindful about today? (Randomly pick a humility virtue card and read it to yourself front and back.) How do you want idealism to act on this virtue today? integrity joyfulness kindness 3. Daily affirmation: love loyalty Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding moderation your hand over your heart. modesty orderliness patience peacefulness 4. Acknowledge your successes: perseverance purposefulness I acknowledged for the virtue of . Here’s what I said: reliability respect responsibility I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . Here’s how I self-discipline practiced it: service tact thankfulness 5. These are the improvements that you have made in your ability to tolerance Speak the Language of the Virtues: trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 16 assertiveness Strategy # 2 caring Recognizing Teachable Moments cleanliness commitment compassion confidence Recognizing the gifts and life lessons in our daily challenges helps us to consideration cultivate character in ourselves and others, and to hone our virtues. We cooperation can look at our mistakes as opportunities to change and call on the virtues courage to help us. For the next seven days we’ll be looking at our teachable courtesy moments, seeing what mistakes we have made, what we could have done creativity differently and what virtues will help us. detachment determination diligence You may find it helpful to read about Recognizing Teachable Moments in enthusiasm The Family Virtues Guide (p.12-18) or The Virtues Project Educator’s excellence Guide (p.29-56). flexibility forgiveness Examples of teachable moments: friendliness generosity “I’m stuck in traffic and late for an appointment. I am getting more gentleness and more stressed and starting to swear at other drivers.” helpfulness honesty What is my teachable moment? honor humility I should have left earlier, that way I would have had extra time if this idealism integrity occurred. joyfulness kindness What virtue would that take? love loyalty  Orderliness, timeliness and consideration for the other person. moderation modesty What is another virtue I can call on now for myself? orderliness patience  Patience - I can’t do anything about the traffic; I’ll get there when I peacefulness get there. perseverance purposefulness  Forgiveness and gentleness with myself with the resolve to leave reliability earlier next time. respect responsibility “I sent an email to a friend in the heat of the moment; now I wish I self-discipline hadn’t sent it.” service tact What is my teachable moment? thankfulness tolerance Don’t send emails in the heat of the moment. In future situations that are trust similar, I will sit on it for at least a day and ask myself if is it really trustworthiness important to say what I am tempted to say. I will think more carefully truthfulness about how the person is likely to receive it. understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 17 assertiveness What virtues are required? caring cleanliness  Patience: Wait until I’m sure it’s the right thing to do. commitment  Tact: Am I sure I’ve been tactful? compassion confidence  Humility: If I’ve sent it and wish I hadn’t, I can apologize and ask consideration for forgiveness. cooperation  Responsibility: Accept what I can’t change with grace. courage courtesy “I’m late to pick up my daughter from her dance class; in fact, I’m creativity usually late.” detachment determination What is my teachable moment and virtue that needs to be strengthened? diligence enthusiasm I have not been reliable to my daughter. I’m reliable to other adults, but excellence flexibility not to members of my family and I always have an excuse. I will forgiveness apologize to her and say that I will be reliable from now on. I’ll make friendliness special efforts to be on time. generosity gentleness “One member of your group likes to gossip about a missing helpfulness member.” honesty honor What virtue is missing? humility idealism  Perhaps respect, consideration, loyalty, trustworthiness, unity. integrity joyfulness kindness What virtue could you use to address the situation? love loyalty  Perhaps the courage to speak up and/or honesty to say how it moderation makes me feel. modesty orderliness patience As you can see in the examples above, there are many teachable peacefulness moments in everyday life. We can learn from our experiences and our perseverance mistakes by calling on our virtues. purposefulness reliability respect responsibility self-discipline We can reframe situations in the light of virtues. Gillian Krantz from service Vancouver, British Columbia shares this story: tact thankfulness After an unfamiliar, long and stressful drive to visit my cousin in tolerance the palliative care unit, I finally pulled into the hospital parking trust lot and overshot the ticket dispenser. Seeing that I couldn't back up trustworthiness because a vehicle was directly behind me, I started getting out of my truthfulness car when the man behind me yelled "Get a ticket for #*&'s sake!” understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 18 assertiveness Without even thinking I stated (well yelled really) "Practice some caring patience. You need to use more respect!" cleanliness commitment I saw the same man in his car in the parkade a few minutes later and compassion then again as he and his son walked towards the hospital and me confidence consideration entrance. He came up to me and said, "I have to apologize for my cooperation behaviour back there. My mother had a stroke last night and I am not courage behaving the way I normally do." "Me too" I choked out. We both ended courtesy up with open hearts and tears in our eyes. creativity detachment determination diligence enthusiasm excellence flexibility forgiveness friendliness generosity gentleness helpfulness honesty honor humility idealism integrity joyfulness kindness love loyalty moderation modesty orderliness patience peacefulness perseverance purposefulness reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 19 assertiveness Day 8 caring Recognizing Teachable Moments cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Real life isn't always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgement of consideration what is working in our lives can help us not only to survive but surmount our difficulties.” cooperation Sarah Ban Breathnach courage courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment determination What action will you take today to be of service? diligence enthusiasm excellence 2. Select the virtue card that you need to help you be of service and read flexibility it front and back. What message does it have for you? forgiveness friendliness generosity gentleness 3. Daily affirmation: helpfulness honesty Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue honor you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. humility idealism integrity 4. Think of someone you are deeply committed to. What helps to keep joyfulness this relationship strong? kindness love What virtues have this person helped you to develop? loyalty How? moderation modesty orderliness patience 5. Acknowledge success: peacefulness perseverance I acknowledge for the virtue of in helping me to develop purposefulness my own virtues. reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 20 assertiveness Day 9 caring Recognizing Teachable Moments cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we consideration call failure is not the falling down but the staying down.” cooperation Mary Pickford courage courtesy 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service creativity detachment Read something inspirational today and reflect on its meaning for you. determination diligence enthusiasm excellence 2. What virtue will inspire you today? (Randomly pick a virtue card and flexibility read it to yourself front and back.) What message does it have for you? forgiveness friendliness generosity gentleness helpfulness 3. Daily affirmation: honesty honor Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your humility hand over your heart. idealism integrity joyfulness 4. Think of a person who is challenging for you now. How you would like kindness to improve the situation with her/him? love loyalty moderation modesty 5. What virtue do you think you need today to help you improve the orderliness situation? (Purposely pick a virtue card and read it to yourself front patience and back.) How will it help? peacefulness perseverance purposefulness 6. How was this a teachable moment for you? reliability respect responsibility 7. Acknowledge your successes: self-discipline service I acknowledge myself for the virtue of in my teachable moment tact today. Here’s how I applied it: thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 21 assertiveness Day 10 caring Recognizing Teachable Moments cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “My philosophy is that life is all about learning and growing, and that life can be a real consideration adventure of learning, growing, compassion, and joyfulness.” cooperation John Mackey courage courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment determination Say a special prayer today, or think of someone you love and send him diligence or her loving thoughts. Comments: enthusiasm excellence flexibility 2. What virtue will you be mindful of today? (Randomly pick a virtue card forgiveness and read it to yourself front and back.) friendliness generosity gentleness helpfulness 3. Daily affirmation: honesty Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue honor you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. humility idealism integrity 4. What is one success you have had in your work? joyfulness kindness love What was the teachable moment for you? (What important lesson did loyalty you learn from that experience?) moderation modesty orderliness What virtue is helpful for you in that teachable moment? patience peacefulness perseverance 5. Acknowledge your successes: purposefulness reliability I acknowledge myself for the virtue of in my teachable moment. respect Here’s how I practiced it: responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 22 assertiveness Day 11 caring Recognizing Teachable Moments cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Your best teacher is your last mistake.” consideration Ralph Nader cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy creativity Do a short meditation. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and detachment then breathe normally. Imagine a place of beauty in your imagination. determination Visualize it; see the shapes, colors, and textures and listen to the diligence sounds. Notice how you feel there. Remember you can take this enthusiasm feeling with you. When you are ready, bring your attention back to the excellence room, open your eyes, and stretch. flexibility forgiveness friendliness Describe your place of beauty. How can you bring more beauty into generosity your life on a regular basis? gentleness helpfulness honesty 2. What virtue will you be mindful of today? (Randomly pick a virtue card honor and read it to yourself front and back.) humility idealism integrity 3. Daily affirmation: joyfulness kindness Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your love loyalty hand over your heart. moderation modesty orderliness 4. What is one challenge you have had in your work? patience peacefulness How did you handle this challenge? perseverance purposefulness Was this the best way to handle it or could you have done it reliability differently? (What was the teachable moment for you?) respect responsibility What virtue is/was helpful for you in that teachable moment? self-discipline service tact thankfulness 5. Acknowledge your successes: tolerance trust I acknowledge myself for the virtue of in my teachable moment. trustworthiness Here’s how I practiced it: truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 23 assertiveness caring Day 12 cleanliness Recognizing Teachable Moments commitment compassion Date confidence consideration “I'm a big believer in growth. Life is not about achievement, it's about learning and growth, and cooperation developing qualities like compassion, patience, perseverance, love, and joy, and so forth. And so if courage that is the case, then I think our goals should include something which stretches us.” courtesy creativity Jack Canfield detachment determination 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service diligence enthusiasm What action will you take today to be of service? excellence flexibility What virtue will help you today to be of service? (Randomly pick a forgiveness virtue card and read it to yourself front and back.) What message friendliness does it have for you? generosity gentleness helpfulness 2. Daily affirmation: honesty honor humility Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue idealism you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. integrity joyfulness kindness 3. What is something that really irritates you? love loyalty What wise insights do you have about this today? (How is this a moderation teachable moment for you?) modesty orderliness What virtue can you call on to help you with this irritation? patience peacefulness perseverance How will this be helpful? purposefulness reliability respect 4. Acknowledge your successes: responsibility self-discipline Give yourself a virtues acknowledgement, using the language of the service virtues. tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 24 assertiveness Day 13 caring Recognizing Teachable Moments cleanliness commitment compassion Date confidence consideration “Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life cooperation lessons that can only be learned the hard way.” courage Al Franken courtesy creativity detachment 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service determination diligence Read something inspirational today and reflect on its meaning for you. enthusiasm excellence flexibility forgiveness 2. What virtue will inspire you today? (Randomly pick a virtue card and friendliness generosity read it to yourself front and back.) What message does it have for gentleness you? helpfulness honesty honor 3. Daily affirmation: humility idealism Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your integrity hand over your heart. joyfulness kindness love 4. What is a recurring challenge in your life? loyalty moderation modesty What wise insights do you have about this today? (What is the orderliness teachable moment?) patience peacefulness What have you learned about yourself from this challenge? perseverance purposefulness What virtue will help you the most at this time? reliability respect responsibility 5. Acknowledge your successes: self-discipline service Give yourself a virtues acknowledgement, using the language of the tact virtues. thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 25 assertiveness Day 14 caring Recognizing Teachable Moments cleanliness commitment compassion Date confidence consideration “Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn cooperation something new.” courage Og Mandino courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment determination Say a special prayer today, or think of someone you love and send him diligence or her loving thoughts. Comments: enthusiasm excellence flexibility 2. What virtue will help you today? (Randomly pick a virtue card and read forgiveness it to yourself front and back.) What message does it have for you? friendliness generosity gentleness helpfulness honesty 3. Daily affirmation: honor humility Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue idealism you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. integrity joyfulness kindness 4. What have you learned about teachable moments this week? love loyalty How do you see some of your challenges differently? moderation modesty What challenges in your life have provided the most important orderliness patience teachable moments? peacefulness perseverance purposefulness reliability 5. Acknowledge your successes: respect responsibility Give yourself a virtues acknowledgement, using the language of the self-discipline virtues. service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 26 assertiveness Strategy # 3 caring Setting Clear Boundaries cleanliness commitment compassion Boundaries keep us safe, provide structure for us, and help us to find our confidence place in the world. They help build healthy relationships. By basing consideration boundaries on virtues we are focusing on the positive and asking for what cooperation we want, not what we don’t want. courage courtesy You may find it helpful to read about Setting Clear Boundaries in The creativity Family Virtues Guide (p.26-41) or The Educator’s Guide (p.57-82) detachment determination Examples of clear boundaries based on virtues are: diligence enthusiasm excellence  “We treat each other and our belongings with respect. We speak flexibility to each other with respectful language; we ask permission to use forgiveness others’ belongings. We treat things carefully.” friendliness generosity  “Our house is peaceful. We speak peacefully and courteously to gentleness each other. We express ourselves with words, not fists. We take a helpfulness time out when we don’t feel peaceful.” honesty honor  “We act responsibly. Each person is responsible for cleaning up humility after him/herself. We each do our share of housework and are idealism integrity responsible for cleaning up our rooms on a weekly basis.” joyfulness kindness  “Honesty is important in our household. We tell the truth with love assertiveness and tact.” loyalty moderation  “I am worthy of respect. I ask to be treated with respect when modesty others talk with me. If I am not treated respectfully, I will speak up orderliness and say how I feel, leave the room or end the conversation”. patience peacefulness With some boundaries it is helpful to have ground rules, stating specifics perseverance purposefulness needed to carry out the boundary. For example: reliability respect Boundary: We act responsibly. Each person is responsible for cleaning responsibility up after him/herself. We each do our share of housework and are self-discipline responsible for cleaning up our rooms on a weekly basis. service tact  Ground rule: Each person will have her/his bedroom cleaned by thankfulness noon on Saturday. tolerance trust  Consequence: If your room is not clean by noon on Saturday, trustworthiness Saturday activities (movies, TV, outdoor play) will not happen until truthfulness the room is cleaned (for children & adults). understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 27 assertiveness Boundary: I am worthy of respect. I ask to be treated with respect when caring others talk with me. cleanliness commitment  Ground rule: Speak respectfully, by giving eye contact and compassion listening without interrupting until it is your turn to speak. confidence consideration cooperation  Consequence: If I am not treated respectfully, I will speak up and courage say how I feel, leave the room or end the conversation. courtesy creativity Remember to use virtues acknowledgements when boundaries are detachment honored, and virtues guidance or correction when they are not honored. determination For example: diligence enthusiasm  “You have been using respectful language this week and I want to excellence honor you for that.” flexibility forgiveness friendliness What is a respectful way you could talk to your sister now? How  “ generosity could you say it respectfully?” gentleness helpfulness  “You need to talk to me respectfully. How could you say that honesty differently, with respect?” honor humility idealism Setting Clear Boundaries helps us to communicate clear expectations and integrity consequences which can help us move through life a little more smoothly. joyfulness Here is an example of Dan and his daughter Addi from Auburn, kindness Washington: love loyalty moderation Thanksgiving is a time for family and chaos if you have young children. modesty Two-year-old Addi loves to sit in her booster chair, and push her bare feet orderliness against the table, tablecloth, food and all. Loving dad, Dan, says calmly patience and respectfully to Addi, while pulling her chair back from the table so she peacefulness can't touch the table with her feet or hands: "When you're ready to put perseverance your feet down and be courteous, you can come back to the table. Are purposefulness you ready now?" If not, she stays back from the table, unable to reach it. reliability There is no yelling, or hitting, just calm words that demonstrate very respect clearly what the boundaries are. He keeps pulling her back each time she responsibility puts her feet on the table, and pushes her back in when she's ready to be self-discipline courteous and respectful. service tact thankfulness It works, and grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, mom, dad and the other tolerance children enjoy their meal more peacefully. trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 28 assertiveness Day 15 caring Setting Clear Boundaries cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Learning to pace myself and set clear boundaries meant first of all observing what activities consideration drained me.” cooperation Linda Kavelin Popov courage courtesy 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service creativity detachment If possible, take a walk outdoors today. Notice the beauty around you. determination What was one thing you noticed? What message or gift did this object diligence have for you? If a walk is not possible, reflect upon a place of beauty in enthusiasm your mind. excellence flexibility forgiveness 2. Randomly pick a virtue card and read it front and back. What message friendliness generosity does it have for you? gentleness helpfulness honesty 3. Daily affirmation: honor humility Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your idealism hand over your heart. integrity joyfulness kindness 4. What clear boundary would you like to set for yourself? love For example: I will use my self-discipline to limit my television viewing loyalty to one hour per day this week. Or I will speak respectfully to my family moderation modesty members and ask that they speak respectfully to me while we work on orderliness solving a problem this evening. patience peacefulness What is the virtue at the heart of the boundary you set for yourself? perseverance purposefulness reliability If you haven’t already done so, write your boundary using the language respect of the virtues (see page 27 for examples). responsibility self-discipline service 5. Acknowledge your successes: tact thankfulness tolerance Give yourself a virtues acknowledgement, using the language of the trust virtues. trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 29 assertiveness caring Day 16 cleanliness Setting Clear Boundaries commitment compassion Date confidence consideration cooperation “Learning how to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to own yourself, of learning to courage respect yourself, of learning to love yourself. If you never have to set a boundary, then courtesy you will never get in touch with who you really are - will never learn to define yourself in a creativity healthy way.” detachment Robert Burney determination diligence enthusiasm 1.RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service excellence flexibility What is your heart’s desire in being of service to others? forgiveness friendliness generosity 2. Pick a virtue card and read it front and back. How will this virtue help gentleness you to be of service to others? helpfulness honesty honor humility 3. Daily affirmation: idealism integrity Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue joyfulness you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. kindness love loyalty 4. Describe why the boundary that you set yesterday is important. What moderation difference will it make in your life? modesty orderliness What are the virtues that help you to abide with this boundary? patience peacefulness perseverance purposefulness 5. Acknowledge your successes: reliability respect I acknowledge myself for the virtue of in boundary setting. responsibility Here’s how I practice it: self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 30 assertiveness Day 17 caring Setting Clear Boundaries cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “The basic challenges of getting our needs met and managing boundaries are inherent in growing consideration up human.” cooperation David Simon courage courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment determination Read something inspirational. What message or gift did this reading diligence have for you? enthusiasm excellence flexibility 2. Pick a virtue card and read it front and back. How is this virtue forgiveness connected to the reading? friendliness generosity gentleness helpfulness 3. Daily affirmation: honesty honor Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your humility hand over your heart. idealism integrity joyfulness 4. What problems have you had in keeping the boundary you have set or kindness what problems do you anticipate that you may have? love loyalty How will I address these problems? moderation modesty orderliness patience 5. Acknowledge your successes: peacefulness perseverance I acknowledge myself for the virtue of in boundary setting. purposefulness Here’s how I practiced it: reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 31 assertiveness Day 18 caring Setting Clear Boundaries cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves.” consideration Robert Burney cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy creativity Say a special prayer today, or think of someone you love and send him detachment or her loving thoughts. Comments: determination diligence enthusiasm 2. Pick a virtue card and read it front and back. What message does it excellence have for you in setting clear boundaries? flexibility forgiveness friendliness generosity 3. Daily affirmation: gentleness helpfulness Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue honesty you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. honor humility idealism 4. Who is a person who keeps pushing against your boundaries? integrity joyfulness What happens when he or she pushes against your boundaries? kindness love loyalty How can you be clear and assertive in keeping your boundaries with moderation this person? modesty orderliness What consequences will there be if your boundaries are broken? For patience example, I will stop the conversation with this other person if they peacefulness speak disrespectfully to me. perseverance purposefulness reliability 5. Acknowledge your successes: respect responsibility I acknowledge myself for the virtue of in boundary setting. self-discipline Here’s how I practiced it: service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 32 assertiveness Day 19 caring Setting Clear Boundaries cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Cultivating your assertiveness to set clear boundaries places you at the helm of your life rather consideration than tossing you about in the sea of “whatever happens”. cooperation Linda Kavelin Popov courage courtesy 1. RPMS Reading, prayer, meditation, service creativity detachment Do a short meditation. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and determination then breathe normally. Imagine a place of peacefulness in your mind. diligence Visualize it; see the shapes, colors, and textures, listen to the sounds, enthusiasm how do you feel there? Remember you can take this feeling with you. excellence When you are ready, bring your attention back to the room, open your flexibility eyes, and stretch. forgiveness friendliness generosity Describe your place of peacefulness. How can you bring more gentleness peacefulness into your life on a regular basis? helpfulness honesty honor 2. Pick the virtue card of Peacefulness and read it front and back. What humility message or gift does this virtue have for you today? idealism integrity 3. Daily affirmation: joyfulness kindness Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your love hand over your heart. loyalty moderation modesty orderliness 4. How does peacefulness help you set and keep clear boundaries? patience peacefulness perseverance How will you stay peaceful when someone pushes your boundaries? purposefulness reliability respect responsibility 5. Acknowledge your successes: self-discipline service I acknowledge myself for the virtue of in boundary setting. tact Here’s how I practiced it: thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 33 assertiveness Day 20 caring Setting Clear Boundaries cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Boundaries are to protect life, not to limit pleasures.” consideration Edwin Louis Cole cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy creativity What was a meaningful service that someone did for you? detachment determination What is your heart’s desire in being of service to others? diligence enthusiasm excellence 2. Pick a virtue card and read it front and back. How will this virtue help flexibility forgiveness you to be of service to others? friendliness generosity gentleness 3. Daily affirmation: helpfulness honesty Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue honor you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. humility idealism integrity 4. Often we need to set boundaries around our time in order to do what’s joyfulness really important for us. What boundaries can you set with your time kindness that will help you to be of service in the way you want to be? love loyalty moderation What will be the biggest challenge in keeping these boundaries? modesty orderliness What virtues will you need to be mindful of to keep your time patience boundaries? peacefulness perseverance purposefulness 5. Acknowledge your successes: reliability respect I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . I demonstrated it by: responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 34 assertiveness Day 21 caring Setting Clear Boundaries cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Clear boundaries create a climate of peace and safety.” consideration Linda Kavelin Popov cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy creativity Read something meaningful today. What meaning does it have for detachment you? determination diligence enthusiasm 2. Randomly pick a virtue card and read it front and back. How does this excellence virtue relate to your life at this time? flexibility forgiveness friendliness generosity 3. Daily affirmation: gentleness helpfulness Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your honesty hand over your heart. honor humility idealism 4. What have I learned about setting clear boundaries this week? integrity joyfulness What has been hard about setting clear boundaries? kindness love loyalty What have I gained from setting clear boundaries? moderation modesty How will I continue to improve my ability to set clear boundaries? orderliness patience peacefulness 5. Acknowledge your successes: perseverance purposefulness I honor myself for the virtues of . reliability respect I demonstrated them by . responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 35 assertiveness caring Strategy # 4 cleanliness Honoring the Spirit commitment compassion confidence consideration “Virtue is the muscle tone that develops from daily and hourly training of a spiritual warrior.” cooperation Tolbert McCarroll courage courtesy creativity Honoring the Spirit gives our lives a sense of meaning and purpose. detachment determination “We are born with a mysterious longing for mastery and meaning…. It is diligence the call to realize our innate sense of wholeness and the move toward enthusiasm wholeness which is at the core of spiritual growth. Nothing else will give excellence us genuine happiness.” flexibility forgiveness The Family Virtues Guide, p. 2, Linda Kavelin Popov. friendliness generosity Honoring the spirit is also about mastery of the virtues in our character. gentleness We can honor the spirit in ourselves, in families, in schools, in community, helpfulness and in the workplace. Whether we are religious or not, we can honor the honesty spirit through routines of reverence, ceremonies, the arts, story-telling, honor experiences in nature, and many other ways. humility idealism In the first three chapters of this journal, you have been honoring your integrity spirit by doing one of the components of RPMS daily and by doing a joyfulness Virtues Pick. You have also seen how the strategies of The Virtues kindness Project honor your spirit and the spirit of others. love loyalty moderation You may find it helpful to read p. 1-6, and p. 42-45 in The Family Virtues modesty Guide, or p. 83-107 in The Virtues Project Educator’s Guide about orderliness Honoring the Spirit. patience peacefulness perseverance A wonderful example of Honoring the Spirit is expressed through this letter purposefulness about a student written by her teacher and sent to her parents: reliability respect Mr. and Mrs. ____, responsibility self-discipline Today Sadie was given the St. Joseph's Award for the Gift of Love for the service tact month of December. This is in recognition of the virtue of Love ~ given to thankfulness a student who is gentle and kind, says kind and loving things, shows tolerance affection, shares, and makes others feel important. Sadie displays love trust for her fellow classmates on a daily basis. Both Mrs. Bentz and I saw this trustworthiness virtue in Sadie when the students all wrote about her special smile and truthfulness her friendship she shares so freely on her Sadie's birthday card. Sadie understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 36 always says thank you for the smallest gesture of kindness to everyone assertiveness and enjoys each day in the classroom. She makes my job as her teacher caring a joy and it is a pleasure to have her in the classroom. cleanliness commitment Sadie has reached out to make new friends in the classroom, while compassion continuing to include her old friends in her circle. She is kind to everyone, confidence consideration even to those who probably do not deserve her kindness. Sadie gives cooperation freely of herself to help others and always has that beautiful smile on her courage face. courtesy creativity Sadie is gentle with the younger students in our Buddy class, and her detachment buddy can be trying at times. She is considerate and caring by writing determination extra virtues when students need a boost. She gives freely with diligence encouraging words during math class to students who struggle. enthusiasm excellence Both Mrs. Bentz and I named Sadie for the award, but the class did as flexibility well. You have a wonderful and caring daughter. Sadie is intelligent and forgiveness works diligently in school to make you proud. Her certificate will be friendliness generosity posted in the school hallway next week across from the office. Sadie will gentleness be recognized at the All-School Mass on Wednesday, December 16, 9:00 helpfulness a.m. and we hope you will be able to join us. She is caring and thoughtful honesty of others, and truly deserves the recognition of the St. Joseph's Award for honor the Gift of Love for our class. humility idealism integrity joyfulness kindness love loyalty moderation modesty orderliness patience peacefulness perseverance purposefulness reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 37 assertiveness Day 22 caring Honoring the Spirit cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.” consideration Joseph Campbell cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy creativity Say a special prayer today, or think of someone you love and send him detachment or her loving thoughts. Comments: determination diligence enthusiasm 2. Pick a virtue card randomly. Read it front and back. What is its excellence message for you today? flexibility forgiveness friendliness generosity 3. Daily affirmation: gentleness helpfulness Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue honesty you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. honor humility idealism 4. If you have not already done so, create a sacred place in your home, integrity where you can be for your RPMS (see description on page 6). joyfulness Describe your sacred place or describe how you will create a sacred kindness place. love loyalty moderation What are the elements that make (or will make) it sacred for you? modesty orderliness patience How does it feel (or how do you imagine it will feel) when you are in peacefulness your sacred space? perseverance purposefulness What would you like to add or subtract to make it more usable or reliability sacred for you? respect responsibility self-discipline 5. Acknowledge your successes: service tact thankfulness Acknowledge yourself for a virtue today and describe how you’ve tolerance practiced it. trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 38 assertiveness Day 23 caring Honoring the Spirit cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; consideration the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of cooperation nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the courage world will not devote itself to making you happy.” courtesy George Bernard Shaw creativity detachment 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service determination diligence Take some quiet time to meditate on your purpose in life. If that’s too enthusiasm challenging for you today, meditate on your purpose this week or this excellence month. You may find it helpful to play some beautiful music or read flexibility something inspirational before you begin. Journal about your forgiveness experience: friendliness generosity gentleness 2. Pick a virtue card purposely. Read it front and back. How does this helpfulness relate to your mediation experience? honesty honor humility idealism 3. Daily affirmation: integrity joyfulness Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your kindness hand over your heart. love loyalty moderation 4. How does your daily life reflect your purpose? modesty orderliness What virtues are at your core that helps you find meaning in your life? patience peacefulness perseverance purposefulness reliability 5. Acknowledge your successes: respect responsibility Acknowledge yourself for a virtue today and describe how you’ve self-discipline practiced it. service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 39 assertiveness Day 24 caring Honoring the Spirit cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence consideration “When I Honor myself, I am confident of my being, and I am gentle with myself.” cooperation Jonathan Lockwood Huie courage courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment determination What is one way to be of service that honors the spirit? Describe this diligence and what you will do: enthusiasm excellence flexibility forgiveness 2. Pick the virtue card of Service. Read it front and back. What stands friendliness out to you on this card? generosity gentleness helpfulness 3. Daily affirmation: honesty honor Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue humility of service. Describe how you are demonstrating it. idealism integrity joyfulness 4. What do you do for yourself to honor your spirit? kindness love loyalty How does this practice tap into the deepest part of you? moderation modesty What virtues do you tap into when you are honoring your spirit in this orderliness way? patience peacefulness perseverance 5. Acknowledge your successes: purposefulness reliability I honor myself for the virtues of . respect responsibility I demonstrated them by . self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 40 assertiveness Day 25 caring Honoring the Spirit cleanliness commitment compassion Date confidence consideration "Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the cooperation expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you'll soon find many courage others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it." courtesy Ralph Marston creativity detachment 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service determination diligence Read something inspirational today; something that increases your enthusiasm reverence. Comments: excellence flexibility forgiveness 2. Pick a virtue card randomly and read it front and back. How does this friendliness virtue support honoring the spirit? generosity gentleness helpfulness honesty 3. Daily affirmation: honor humility Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your idealism hand over your heart. integrity joyfulness kindness 4. How do you honor the spirit of your family members or close friends? love For example, one mother honors the spirit of her young children by loyalty waking each child gently each day to get ready for school. moderation modesty Describe some of the most inspiring or special ways the spirit in your orderliness patience family is/was honored? peacefulness perseverance How would you like to honor the spirit with family members? purposefulness reliability respect 5. What virtues acknowledgment would you like to give to a family responsibility member? Write it here as practice and give them a virtues self-discipline acknowledgment soon. service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 41 assertiveness Day 26 caring Honoring the Spirit cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” consideration Oprah Winfrey cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy creativity Say a special prayer today, or think of someone you love and send him detachment or her loving thoughts. Comments: determination diligence enthusiasm 2. Pick a virtue card randomly. Read it front and back. What is its excellence message for you today? flexibility forgiveness friendliness generosity 3. Daily affirmation: gentleness helpfulness Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue honesty you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. honor humility idealism 4. Who is a mentor for you in honoring the spirit? integrity joyfulness What is special about this person? This person can be living or dead, kindness and may be a holy figure or regular person. love loyalty moderation How has this person guided you in your life? modesty orderliness patience 5. Give this person a virtues acknowledgment, whether in writing or in peacefulness person. Practice what you will say by writing it here: perseverance purposefulness reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 42 assertiveness Day 27 caring Honoring the Spirit cleanliness Date commitment compassion ”Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate confidence just living!” consideration Amanda Bradley cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy creativity Take either a reflective silent walk in nature or close your eyes, detachment breathe deeply and imagine yourself in a sacred place. Breathe in the determination beauty and whatever else you find there. When you open your eyes or diligence finish your walk, reflect on your experience. Write some of your enthusiasm reflections: excellence flexibility forgiveness friendliness 2. Pick a virtue card purposely. Read it front and back. What would you generosity like to learn about this virtue? gentleness helpfulness honesty 3. Daily affirmation: honor humility Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your idealism hand over your heart. integrity joyfulness kindness 4. What are some special celebrations or ceremonies you have attended love loyalty that honor the spirit? moderation modesty What celebration or ceremony would you like to plan, either for just orderliness yourself, for family members, friends, or colleagues? patience peacefulness Describe the details of this celebration or ceremony. How would it perseverance honor the spirit? purposefulness reliability What virtues would be involved? respect responsibility self-discipline 5. Acknowledge your successes: service tact thankfulness I honor myself for the virtues of . tolerance trust I have demonstrated them by: . trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 43 assertiveness Day 28 caring Honoring the Spirit cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “The goal of spiritual practice is full recovery, and the only thing you need to recover from is a consideration fractured sense of self.“ cooperation Marianne Williamson courage courtesy 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service creativity detachment What is one way to be of service that honors the spirit? Describe this determination and what you will do: diligence enthusiasm excellence 2. Pick a virtue card purposely. Read it front and back. What would you flexibility like to learn about this virtue? forgiveness friendliness generosity

gentleness 3. Daily affirmation: helpfulness honesty Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue honor you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. humility idealism integrity 4. How has doing your RPMS and a Virtues Pick the past 28 days joyfulness honored your/the spirit? kindness love What have you learned from doing this daily? loyalty moderation modesty What would you like to incorporate into your daily life to honor the orderliness spirit? patience peacefulness How will you do this? perseverance purposefulness reliability 5. Give a virtues acknowledgment to those who help honor the spirit. respect responsibility self-discipline service 6. Acknowledge your successes: tact thankfulness tolerance Acknowledge yourself for virtues you have practiced this week. trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 44 assertiveness caring Strategy # 5 cleanliness The Art of Spiritual Companioning™ commitment compassion Spiritual Companioning, or Companioning, is a listening process, showing confidence consideration great caring and compassion while being fully present to another human cooperation being. It is like walking beside someone, helping them to clarify their courage thoughts and feelings. It is listening without judgment or an agenda for the courtesy outcome. We use detachment when we are listening, so we don’t take on creativity another’s problem or situation or get caught up in their emotions. We are detachment compassionate and detached at the same time, which allows the speaker determination to gain more clarity and to find their own truth. diligence enthusiasm Spiritual Companioning can be used for problem solving, conflict excellence resolution and strategic planning. You can also spiritually companion flexibility yourself to gain clarity and to explore your feelings. forgiveness friendliness generosity Detailed information about Spiritual Companioning is found in The Family gentleness Virtues Guide on p. 45-54 and in The Virtues Project Educator’s Guide on helpfulness p. 109-130. You may find it helpful to read these chapters. honesty honor humility idealism Here is a story from Robin Castle of Connecticut that speaks to the integrity importance of persistently practicing the Art of Spiritual Companioning: joyfulness kindness One of the most difficult personal characteristics I ever worked to change love was the pervasive sense of what is right. It took three years of practicing loyalty spiritual companioning to learn how to ask the what and how questions, moderation reflect back what I heard and not jump in to the process. modesty orderliness patience Over the course of those three years I learned by glimpses the value of peacefulness being able to step back from my sense of what is right and learn how to perseverance respect the companion’s path to discover 'right' for themselves. I learned purposefulness to break free from the burden and authority of being the rescuer, though it reliability took me many mistakes to be able to understand what that role is and how respect I played it persistently. responsibility self-discipline For several years now I have not been in environments and situations service where using all the strategies of the Virtues Project has been a daily tact practice for me. But drawing from my experience with the Virtues Project thankfulness on a daily basis, I'm pleased that the skills of spiritual companioning are tolerance trust always available to me. trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 45 Sometimes it’s hard to find people who are good listeners yet when we do, assertiveness it often comes as a great gift. Practicing the art of Spiritual Companioning caring helps us to develop this effective listening skill which can make a real cleanliness difference (both large and small) in the lives of others. commitment compassion confidence consideration cooperation Cheryll Simmons of Washington state shares a story of how Spiritual courage Companioning was used to help a distressed man: courtesy creativity An IV nurse in a small hospital, I stood outside the door of my next patient detachment and heard a dialogue from within. The patient's caregiver was ready to determination bathe him. The patient was not ready. His agitation grew as he explained diligence that he hadn't slept all night because of noise, and escalated as the aide enthusiasm tried to talk him into just a small bath, because she had time now but excellence might not have time later. He literally shouted, "you're not listening to me!" flexibility and she tried to overcome his protests, "but sir, you'll feel better after your forgiveness bath....” Finally she resorted to that terrible phrase, "I have other patients, friendliness generosity you know!", and swiftly left the room. gentleness helpfulness I had recently been inspired by Linda's teachings on Spiritual honesty Companioning and I was propelled into this man's room, not to his arm, honor where I was to check his IV site, but to a chair next to the bed. We sat in humility silence for a while. I asked him "how is your morning going?" And of idealism course the whole story came pouring out, his bad night, and his aide integrity wanting him to get his bath when he hadn't had any sleep. joyfulness kindness My responses were minimal, just small reflections of what he had said, love and of course he became calm. The opportunity to prove to oneself that loyalty this companioning actually works: that was the gift for me of being outside moderation the room at that moment, and having recently had my own bath in the modesty orderliness Virtues. patience peacefulness perseverance purposefulness The seven steps in the Companioning process are illustrated on the next reliability page. Throughout the process: respect responsibility  Be fully present. Silence your mind to everything but listening. self-discipline  Begin questions with “What” and “How” and be brief. service tact  Wait silently and patiently after asking a question. thankfulness  Give the person a chance to own and solve the problem and make tolerance moral choices. It is not your role to fix and rescue. trust  Respect and trust the wisdom others have to solve their own trustworthiness problems. truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 46 THE COMPANIONING PROCESS

FOLLOW LEAD

Open Give a virtues the door acknowledgement

Offer Ask closure receptive & integration silence questions What’s Ask cup I hear happening? Ask virtues your emptying reflection loyalty questions questions to your friend Get to the What’s been helpful? heart of the What is matter clearer now?

What’s that like What would for you? give you the courage. . . ?

What’s the hardest part?

Use the Virtues of Compassion and Detachment When Companioning

Compassion is understanding & caring when someone is hurt or troubled, even if you don’t know them. It is wanting to help, even if all you can do is listen and say kind words. You forgive mistakes. You are a friend when someone needs a friend.

Detachment is experiencing your feelings without allowing your feelings to control you. Instead of just reacting, with detachment you are free to choose how you will act. You use thinking and feeling together, so you can make smart choices.

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 47 assertiveness Day 29 caring The Art of Spiritual Companioning™ cleanliness Date commitment compassion “To listen another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest confidence service that any human being ever performs for another.” consideration Douglas Steen cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy creativity Read something inspirational. What message or gift did this reading detachment have for you? determination diligence enthusiasm 2. Pick a virtue card and read it front and back. What message does this excellence card have for you today? flexibility forgiveness friendliness generosity 3. Daily affirmation: gentleness helpfulness Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your honesty hand over your heart. honor humility idealism 4. Who is the best listener you know? What are four or five integrity qualities that person demonstrates in listening? joyfulness kindness How does this make her/him a good listener? love loyalty What do you appreciate about this person as a listener? moderation modesty orderliness Which of these qualities do you exhibit when listening? patience peacefulness What qualities would you like to develop as a listener? perseverance purposefulness What could you say to give this person a virtues acknowledgment? reliability respect responsibility self-discipline 5. Acknowledge your successes: service tact I honor myself for the virtues of . thankfulness tolerance trust I demonstrated them by . trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 48 assertiveness Day 30 caring The Art of Spiritual Companioning™ cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence "Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the consideration ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand." cooperation Karl Menninger courage courtesy 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service creativity detachment Say a special prayer today, or think of someone you love and send him determination or her loving thoughts. Comments: diligence enthusiasm excellence 2. Pick a virtue card. Read it front and back. What message does this flexibility have for you today? forgiveness friendliness generosity gentleness 3. Daily affirmation: helpfulness honesty Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue honor you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. humility idealism integrity 4. Journal on the following questions: joyfulness kindness How am I really doing today? love loyalty What is the best/worst thing about how I am today? moderation modesty orderliness What virtue will be helpful for me in this situation? patience peacefulness perseverance 5. Acknowledge your successes: purposefulness reliability Give yourself a virtues acknowledgment based on what you’ve written: respect responsibility self-discipline service Congratulations, you’ve just completed 4 of the steps of Spiritual tact Companioning! thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 49 assertiveness Day 31 caring The Art of Spiritual Companioning™ cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Don’t get furious, get curious!” consideration Linda Kavelin Popov cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy creativity If possible, take a walk outdoors today. Notice the beauty around you. detachment What was one thing you noticed? What message or gift did this object determination have for you? If a walk is not possible, reflect upon a place of beauty in diligence your mind. enthusiasm excellence flexibility forgiveness 2. Pick a virtue card and read it front and back. What message does this friendliness card have for you today? generosity gentleness helpfulness 3. Daily affirmation: honesty honor Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your humility hand over your heart. idealism integrity joyfulness 4. Notice when someone needs to be listened to today. kindness love loyalty Ask a “What” or “How” question when you are listening to him/her. moderation Just be curious about their answer without any judgment. modesty orderliness Give them a virtues acknowledgment when they are finished talking. patience peacefulness Notice whether you want to fix advise or rescue the other person or perseverance whether you are able to use detachment. Also notice whether you purposefulness have the urge to tell your own story. reliability respect responsibility 5. Acknowledge your successes: self-discipline service tact I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . thankfulness tolerance This is how I demonstrated it: trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 50 assertiveness Day 32 caring The Art of Spiritual Companioning™ cleanliness commitment compassion Date confidence consideration "The saddest part about being human is not paying attention. Presence is the gift of life." cooperation Stephen Levine courage courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment determination What is one way I have always wanted to be of service? diligence enthusiasm What has kept you from doing this? excellence flexibility forgiveness friendliness generosity 2. Pick a virtue card. Read it front and back. How does this virtue speak gentleness to you of service? helpfulness honesty honor humility 3. Daily affirmation: idealism integrity Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue joyfulness you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. kindness love loyalty moderation modesty 4. Describe a situation you are struggling with. Write as much as you orderliness want and empty your cup. Be compassionate with yourself. Imagine patience you are a caring listener who really wants to hear yourself: peacefulness perseverance Continue journaling using the following questions: purposefulness reliability  What is hard about this for me? Continue to use “what” and “how” respect questions that follows up on your previous thoughts. responsibility self-discipline service  What are my feelings or physical reactions? tact thankfulness  What virtue(s) will be helpful? tolerance trust  What is clearer for me now? trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 51 5. Acknowledge your successes: assertiveness caring Give yourself a heartfelt virtues acknowledgment based on what cleanliness you’ve written: commitment compassion Congratulations, you’ve just completed all 7 steps of Spiritual confidence consideration Companioning in companioning yourself! cooperation courage courtesy creativity detachment determination diligence enthusiasm excellence flexibility forgiveness friendliness generosity gentleness helpfulness honesty honor humility idealism integrity joyfulness kindness love loyalty moderation modesty orderliness patience peacefulness perseverance purposefulness reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 52 assertiveness Day 33 caring The Art of Spiritual Companioning™ cleanliness Date commitment compassion "One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to us as we confidence consider a problem, can change our whole outlook on the world." consideration Dr. E. H. Mayo cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy Read something inspirational or meaningful today. How is it creativity detachment meaningful for you? determination diligence 2. Pick a virtue card. Read it front and back. What gift does this virtue enthusiasm excellence have for you today? flexibility forgiveness 3. Daily affirmation: friendliness generosity Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your gentleness hand over your heart. helpfulness honesty 4. Spiritual Companioning can be done to share your joy, not only your honor problems. Describe a situation you are happy about. Write as much humility as you want and empty your cup: idealism integrity joyfulness Use what and how questions related to what you have written and then kindness respond to them. love loyalty Continue journaling with the following questions: moderation modesty  What are my feelings or physical reactions? orderliness patience  What virtue will be or has been helpful? peacefulness perseverance  What is clearer for me now? purposefulness reliability respect 5. Acknowledge your successes: responsibility self-discipline Give yourself a heartfelt virtues acknowledgment based on what service you’ve written: tact thankfulness Congratulations, you’ve just completed all 7 steps of Spiritual tolerance Companioning in companioning yourself! trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 53 assertiveness Day 34 caring The Art of Spiritual Companioning™ cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with consideration open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.” cooperation Sue Patton Thoele courage courtesy 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service creativity detachment Say a special prayer today, or think of someone you love and send him determination or her loving thoughts. Comments: diligence enthusiasm excellence 2. Pick a virtue card. Read it front and back. How does this virtue speak flexibility to you today? forgiveness friendliness generosity gentleness 3. Daily affirmation: helpfulness honesty Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue honor you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it: humility idealism integrity 4. Companion yourself on any topic in your journal. Have a copy of the joyfulness Spiritual Companioning steps with you while you do this. kindness love loyalty 5. Arrange to practice spiritual companioning with a friend, colleague or moderation modesty family member today. Have a copy of the Spiritual Companioning orderliness steps with you while you companion them. patience peacefulness perseverance 6. Later on, take some time today to reflect on how you did with #4 and purposefulness #5 and write your reflections here: reliability respect responsibility 7. Acknowledge your successes: self-discipline service I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . This is how I tact demonstrate it: thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 54 assertiveness Day 35 caring The Art of Spiritual Companioning™ cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to consideration the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.” cooperation Jiddu Krishnamurti courage courtesy 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service creativity detachment Listen to a beautiful piece of music today. What are your feelings while determination listening? diligence enthusiasm excellence 2. Pick a virtue card. Read it front and back. What gift does this virtue flexibility have for you today? forgiveness friendliness generosity 3. Daily affirmation: gentleness helpfulness Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your honesty hand over your heart. honor humility 4. What have you learned about Spiritual Companioning this week? idealism integrity joyfulness What was hard about it for you? kindness love What was easy about it for you? loyalty moderation modesty What are obstacles for you? Do you want to fix, rescue, advise, or tell orderliness your own story when listening to another person? Or are you afraid to patience try it with people? peacefulness perseverance What will help you to use Spiritual Companioning on a regular basis? purposefulness reliability respect Your intention for using Companioning is: responsibility self-discipline service 5. Acknowledge your successes: tact thankfulness tolerance I acknowledge myself for the virtue of . trust trustworthiness This is how I demonstrate it: truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 55 assertiveness Final Action & Reflection caring Days 36 – 40 cleanliness commitment compassion confidence consideration Congratulations! So far you have been working purposefully to develop cooperation the use of the five strategies into your daily life. The final five days of this courage journal are devoted to furthering your skill at practicing the five strategies, courtesy reflections, and confirmations. creativity detachment determination Here is a story that illustrates the use of all five strategies of The Virtues diligence Project from Barbara Mackenzie of Ontario, Canada: enthusiasm excellence Six months ago I was called to the bedside of my dying mother. In the 7th flexibility stage of Alzheimer's, she hadn't spoken a "sensible" word or given eye forgiveness contact for many years. As it turned out, I was open and committed to friendliness generosity journeying with her through this transition. I used each of the 5 strategies gentleness during this process: helpfulness honesty 1) I used the language by speaking openly about what I admired & how honor her virtues influenced my life choices. I used the language with the facility humility staff, nurses & doctors. I drew from the Reflection deck daily and with the idealism nurses on several occasions; integrity joyfulness 2) Every moment was rich with lessons & realizations. I am still discerning kindness what it all means, but I do know that this was an experience that changed love my perception of death. I feel so blessed to have had the strategies in my loyalty heart; moderation modesty orderliness 3) I intentionally set boundaries around my time, my thoughts, my prayers patience and my instincts. I was energized throughout the three day process and peacefulness feel that setting boundaries helped to keep me "in tune" with her as I perseverance refused distractions; purposefulness reliability 4) With every breath, I honoured and welcomed spirit with an openness of respect instinct, ever mindful that spirit transcends language & logic. In my responsibility "Kything" I brought her faith into my vision and used it as a platform to self-discipline invite her to a place of surrender; service tact 5) It happened that my children accompanied me and we companioned thankfulness each other throughout the three day process. What a gift they were to me! tolerance trust trustworthiness IN CONCLUSION: I believe that having and using what we've gained from truthfulness strategies of The Virtues Project was truly a blessing for all of us ~ understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 56 especially my Mom ~ and moments before she died she turned and held assertiveness my gaze for what seemed to be a lifetime. Her normally cloudy eyes were caring crystal clear! cleanliness commitment compassion confidence consideration cooperation courage courtesy creativity detachment determination diligence enthusiasm excellence flexibility forgiveness friendliness generosity gentleness helpfulness honesty honor humility idealism integrity joyfulness kindness love loyalty moderation modesty orderliness patience peacefulness perseverance purposefulness reliability respect responsibility self-discipline service tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 57 assertiveness Day 36 caring Final Action & Reflection cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence ”Most true happiness comes from one's inner life, from the disposition of the mind and soul. consideration Admittedly, a good inner life is difficult to achieve, especially in these trying times. It takes cooperation reflection and contemplation and self-discipline.” courage William L Shirer courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment determination What is your heart’s desire in being of service to others? diligence enthusiasm excellence 2. Pick a virtue card. Read it front and back. How will this virtue help you flexibility to be of service to others? forgiveness friendliness generosity 3. Daily affirmation: gentleness helpfulness honesty Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue honor you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. humility idealism integrity 4. Questions for reflection & action: joyfulness kindness Who are some people in your life that would benefit most from virtues love acknowledgements at this time? loyalty moderation How will they benefit? modesty orderliness patience Virtues acknowledgements can be given with your spoken or written peacefulness words. What will you do to acknowledge their virtues today? perseverance purposefulness What virtues will you need to use to do this effectively? reliability respect responsibility 5. Acknowledge your successes: self-discipline service Give yourself a virtues acknowledgment: tact thankfulness tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 58 assertiveness Day 37 caring Final Action & Reflection cleanliness commitment Date compassion confidence “If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I consideration am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has cooperation been a successful day.” courage Alex Noble courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment Read something inspirational. What message or gift did this reading determination diligence have for you? enthusiasm excellence flexibility 2. Pick a virtue card. Read it front and back. How does this virtue speak forgiveness to you today? friendliness generosity gentleness 3. Daily affirmation: helpfulness honesty Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your honor hand over your heart. humility idealism integrity 4. Questions for reflection & action: joyfulness kindness Whose spirit would you like to honor? love loyalty What methods could you use to do it? moderation modesty What would be the likely effect of honoring this person’s spirit? orderliness patience peacefulness What is your plan for starting the process of honoring this person’s perseverance spirit today? purposefulness reliability What virtues will you need to use to do this effectively? respect responsibility self-discipline service 5. Acknowledge your successes: tact thankfulness Give yourself a heartfelt virtues acknowledgment: tolerance trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 59 assertiveness Day 38 caring Final Action & Reflection cleanliness commitment compassion Date confidence consideration “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the cooperation world.” courage Anne Frank courtesy creativity detachment 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service determination diligence Say a special prayer today, or think of someone you love and send him enthusiasm or her loving thoughts. Comments: excellence flexibility forgiveness 2. Pick a virtue card. Read it front and back. How does this virtue speak friendliness generosity to you today? gentleness helpfulness honesty 3. Daily affirmation: honor humility Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue idealism you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it: integrity joyfulness kindness 4. Questions for reflection & action: love loyalty Who is someone in your life who could benefit at this time from moderation modesty receiving Spiritual Companioning from you? orderliness patience What do you think the effect of this would be? peacefulness perseverance What is your plan for providing Spiritual Companioning for this person? purposefulness reliability respect What virtues will help you to be effective? responsibility self-discipline service 5. Acknowledge your successes: tact thankfulness tolerance Give yourself a heartfelt virtues acknowledgment: trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 60 assertiveness Day 39 caring Final Action & Reflection cleanliness Date commitment compassion confidence “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” consideration Peter F. Drucker cooperation courage 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service courtesy creativity Take either a reflective silent walk in nature or close your eyes, detachment breathe deeply and imagine yourself in a sacred place. Breathe in the determination beauty and whatever else you find there. When you open your eyes or diligence finish your walk, reflect on your experience. Write some of your enthusiasm reflections: excellence flexibility forgiveness 2. Pick a virtue card. Read it front and back. How does this virtue speak friendliness generosity to you today? gentleness helpfulness honesty 3. Daily affirmation: honor humility Read the affirmation of the virtue out loud, slowly, while holding your idealism hand over your heart. integrity joyfulness kindness 4. Questions for reflection: love loyalty What are three of the greatest lessons you learned through using this moderation journal? modesty orderliness What did you appreciate about working through this journal? patience What was the hardest part for you? peacefulness perseverance How did this journal help you to master the strategies of The Virtues purposefulness Project? reliability respect Which virtues do you feel strengthened in? responsibility self-discipline service tact 5. Acknowledge your successes: thankfulness tolerance Give yourself a virtues acknowledgment: trust trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 61 assertiveness Day 40 caring Final Action & Reflection cleanliness commitment compassion Date confidence consideration “I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who cooperation will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” courage Albert Schweitzler courtesy creativity 1. RPMS: Reading, prayer, meditation, service detachment determination What action will you take today to be of service? diligence enthusiasm excellence 2. What virtue will help you today to be of service? (Randomly pick a flexibility virtue card and read it to yourself front and back.) What message forgiveness does it have for you? friendliness generosity gentleness helpfulness 3. Daily affirmation: honesty honor Take a few quiet moments and imagine yourself stronger in the virtue humility you selected in #2. Describe how you are demonstrating it. idealism integrity joyfulness 4. Questions for reflection: kindness love How have you used Virtues Acknowledgments with others? loyalty moderation modesty What was one of your greatest Teachable Moments? orderliness patience What is most important about Boundary Setting for you? peacefulness perseverance How do you see Honoring the Spirit differently? purposefulness reliability What encourages you to use Spiritual Companioning? respect responsibility What is the greatest gift from completing this journal? self-discipline service tact 5. Acknowledge your successes: thankfulness tolerance trust Give yourself a heartfelt virtues acknowledgment: trustworthiness truthfulness understanding unity

Mastering the 5 Strategies of The Virtues Project 62 Congratulations on the successful completion of Mastering the Five Strategies of The Virtues Project which no doubt took idealism, purposefulness, and self-discipline on your part. You are well on your way to living a more virtues-based life. What more could the world want from us? In the words of Thich Naht Hahn, a well known Zen Buddhist Monk:

You Are Me

You are me, and I am you. Isn't it obvious that we "inter-are"? You cultivate the flower in yourself, so that I will be beautiful. I transform the garbage in myself, so that you will not have to suffer.

I support you; you support me. I am in this world to offer you peace; you are in this world to bring me joy.

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