Child Development Guide. Retrieved From

Child Development Guide. Retrieved from http://www.education.com

Developmental Tasks  To learn to trust others and be secure in the world.  To begin unconsciously to learn what to do to get his/her needs met.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Feeding problems: rejection of breast or bottle; excessive vomiting, colic, or diarrhea, resulting in weight loss.  Developmental regression: depression; unresponsiveness; failure to smile, show displeasure, or cuddle; rejection of comforting efforts.  Inability to see or hear. Extreme lack of sensory stimulation (touching, seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling) resulting in failure to thrive and possibly death. This deprivation is tied directly to the quality of care. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may apply from birth to one year, each may be more observable at specific times. Some indicators of lag may be caused by factors that affected the baby in utero or at birth.

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Birth to Six Months Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Develops own rhythm in feeding, sleeping, Adapt schedule to Baby's rhythms as and eliminating. much as possible. Grows rapidly, e.g., doubles birth weight. Supply adequate food. Change baby's position frequently; hold and cuddle often. Gains early control of eye movement. Exercise baby's arms and legs during Develops motor control in orderly bathing and changing. sequence: balances head, rolls over, pulls Supply visual stimuli, such as mobiles and bright self to sitting position and sits alone momentarily. colors. Begins to grasp objects. Let baby grasp fingers as you pull him/her up.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Birth to Six Months Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Learns through senses. Provide objects to see, hear, and grasp, e.g., rattles. Coos and vocalizes spontaneously. Talk and sing to child a great deal, Babbles in syllables. repeating many words, not just sounds.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Birth to Six Months Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Discriminates primary caregiver (usually Do not change primary caregiver before mother) from others; is more responsive six months. to this person. Imitates movements. Gazes at faces. Play pat-a-cake and peek-a-boo. Smiles to be friendly. Likes to be held, played with, tickled, and Bounce the child gently on your knees, jostled. gently rock, carry, gently pat on back. Smiles at self in mirror. Provide a mirror.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Birth to Six Months Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Shows excitement through waving arms, Show facial expressions of smiling in kicking, wiggling. Shows pleasure in response to child's anticipation. anticipation of being fed or picked up. Cries in different ways when cold, wet, Learn to "read" the different cries. hungry. Respond to crying consistently. Don't be afraid of spoiling the infant - crying is the only way an infant has to express needs. Fears loud or unexpected noise, strange Respond to the child's fears by talking in a objects, situations or persons, sudden calm manner and by picking up and movements, and pain. cuddling the child.

Developmental Tasks To learn to trust others and be secure in the world through the performance of the following tasks: learning special concepts, e.g., up, down, near, far; developing the nervous system and muscle coordination; learning mobility and manipulation of the environment through control of hands, legs, head, fingers, etc.; distinguishing pleasure from pain; adjusting to short periods of separation from primary caregiver.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Passivity; withdrawal; lack of initiative, e.g., lack of response to stimulating people, toys, pets; crying frequently and easily; learning slowly; poor muscle coordination; injured easily.  All of these problems interrelate; e.g., the child who is passive is less likely to develop the skills needed to explore the world, such as climbing and crawling. The resulting limited experience can manifest itself in slow learning and inability to take risks. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present from birth to one year, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Six Months to One Year Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting From 8 months, begins to crawl. Be sure dangerous objects are out of From 9 months, may begin to walk. reach. Provide experiences that involve arm and leg exercise. Learns to let go with hands. Let child play "dropping things" since this helps in understanding the world. Puts everything in mouth. Provide child with opportunity to use hands and fingers, e.g., finger foods, water play, toys. Begins teething. Be especially patient with child's crankiness; provide things to chew on. Is physically unable to control bowels. Do not try to potty-train.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Six Months to One Year Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Learns through the senses, especially the Provide toys and games that involve all mouth. five senses. Likes to put things in and take things out Keep toys with small or loose parts away of mouth, cupboards, boxes, etc. from child. Likes to repeat the same behavior, but Repeat words and activities and introduce also likes to see novel things. child to new activities, e.g., take the child grocery shopping. Likes to hear objects named. Begins to Say the names of objects as the child sees understand such familiar words as eat, or uses them. Begin to look at very simple Mama, bye-bye, doggie. picture books with the child. May not speak until age 1 or later. Don't be concerned about child who isn't talking as soon as others.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Six Months to One Year Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Finds mother or mother substitute Provide consistent care by one person. extremely important. Will talk to you, using babbling sounds. Talk to the child. Will start to imitate behaviors of others. Do the things you want the child to do. Eating is a major source of interaction. Vary diet in color and texture. Will not "play nicely" with other infants; Don't expect the child to play well with will poke, pull, push, instead. This is others, because other children appear as because the child doesn't distinguish play objects, like toys. others as equal beings.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Six Months to One Year Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Needs to feel sure that someone will take Always meet the child's needs related to care of him/her. hunger, cleanliness, warmth, holding, sensory stimulation, and interaction with an adult. Don't listen to those who claim you will spoil him/her. Becomes unhappy when mother or Expect fussiness during mother's absence; primary caregiver leaves. caregiver should provide comfort. Draws away from strangers. Proceed slowly in introducing child to strangers. (They don't need this skill yet.) Needs to be held and cuddled with Provide the child with physical comfort. warmth and love. (No baby was ever spoiled by too much physical contact.) If you don't agree, watch puppies or kittens nestle near their mothers; they quickly become independent in caring for themselves.

Developmental Tasks  To discover and establish a distinct self through continuous exploration of the world, development of communication skills, the experience of responsiveness of others, the use of memory, and the rudiments of self- control.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive adaptability, e.g., withdrawal, passivity, fearfulness; obsessive head banging, finger sucking, rocking; lack of interest in objects, environment, or play; overly rebellious, e.g., excessive temper tantrums, uncontrollable hitting, biting, and hyperventilating, and/or constipation or destructive smearing of feces as an expression of anger. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 1 and 2, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: One to Two Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Begins to walk, creep up and down stairs, Provide large, safe space for exercising climb on furniture, etc. arms and legs. Teach child how to get down from furniture, stairs, etc. Enjoys pushing and pulling things. Provide push-and-pull toys, which aid in learning balance. Begins to feed self with a spoon and can May be messy, but allow the child to feed hold a cup. self sometimes. Fix food that can be easily eaten (use bibs, cloth under high chair). If using chair, make sure it is completely stable. Can stack two or three blocks. Likes to Provide toys or games that can be taken take things apart. Likes to put things in apart, stacked, squeezed, pulled, etc. and take things out of cupboards, mouth, boxes, etc. Takes off pull-on clothing. Let child try to dress and undress self. Still cannot control bowels. Do not try to potty-train.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: One to Two Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Learn through senses. Provide toys and play games involving different textures, colors, and shapes-pots, pans, boxes, balls, etc. Is curious, likes to explore; pokes fingers Be sure the area is safe. Allow the child to in holes. explore. Can say the names of some common Talk to the child often. Say the names of objects. objects seen and used. Talk about activities as you bathe and dress him/her. Use one-word sentences, "No," "Go," Teach names of body parts and familiar "Down," "Bye-bye." Can point to and name objects. Read or recite nursery rhymes. common body parts and familiar objects. Can understand simple directions. Begins to enjoy simple songs and rhymes. Provide rhythmic songs that are repetitive and low in key. SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: One to Two Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Enjoys interaction with familiar adults. Be sure to do things you want the child to Imitates and copies behavior. do. Begins to be demanding, assertive, Establish clear boundaries necessary to independent. child's safety. Understand that boundaries help the child test limits and divide the world into manageable segments. Finds mother still very important. Ensure that a special person provides most of the care. Waves bye-bye. Wave back. Plays alone but does not play well with Make sure an adult is close by during all others the same age. the child's activities. Is possessive of own things. Don't force the child to share. (He/she can learn this later.)

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: One to Two Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Needs the warmth, security and attention A special, caring adult should look after of a special adult. the child. Is learning trust; needs to know that Respond to the needs of the child someone will provide care and meet consistently and sensitively. needs. Sucks thumb, which peaks at around 18 Ignore thumbsucking; calling attention to months. it will only make it worse. Has temper tantrums. Do not give in to a child's demands but to do not "punish," since the child is expressing self the only way he/she knows how. Do not be rigid and demand compliance all the time. Is generally in a happy mood. Enjoy and keep up the good work. But may become angry when others Accept the child's reaction as normal and interfere with child's activities. healthy, not as an affront to your authority. Modify the environment to reduce the need to interfere in the child's activities. May become frustrated because of not Be patient in trying to being able to put wishes into words. interpret/understand the child's wishes. MORAL DEVELOPMENT: One to Two Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is inwardly sensitive to adult approval Acknowledge the child for behaving in and disapproval, despite tantrums and ways that you find pleasing or acceptable; bursts of anger. be sensitive, mild-mannered, firm, and consistent when expressing disapproval.

Developmental Tasks  To discover and establish a positive, distinct self through continuous exploration of the world, the development of communication skills, the experience of responsiveness of others, use of memory, and the rudiments of self-control.  To separate thinking from feeling through experiencing choices, limits, and self-derived solutions to simple problems, e.g., choice of foods, clothes, and activities.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive adaptability, e.g., withdrawal, passivity, fearfulness; obsessive head banging, finger sucking, rocking; lack of interest in objects, environment or play; overly rebellious, e.g., excessive temper tantrums, uncontrollable hitting, biting, and hyperventilating, and/or constipation or destructive smearing of feces as an expression of anger.  Excessive stubbornness; consistent over-reaction to reasonable limits; weak sense of positive, distinct self, which manifests, e.g., as not making choices, meekly accepting others' impositions. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 1 to 3, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Two to Three Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Runs, kicks, climbs, throws a ball, jumps, Provide lots of room and many pull, pushes, etc.; enjoys rough-and- experiences in which child can use his/her tumble play. arms and legs. Is increasingly able to manipulate small Provide activities that use fingers: clay, objects with hands; likes to scribble; eats blocks, finger-paint, pick-up objects, easily with a spoon; helps to dress self; stacking objects, large crayons for and can build a tower of 6 to 7 blocks. scribbling, dressing activities. Begins to control bowels; bladder control Gradually start toilet training; consult comes slightly later. pediatrician, nurse, caseworker if unsure methods.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Two to Three Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Continue to learn through senses; still is Provide sensory experiences; allow child very curious. to explore; have limited "no-no's". Has a short attention span. Don't make the child do one thing for more than a few minutes. Uses three- to four-word sentences. Talk with the child. Explain things simply. Begins to sing simple songs and say rhymes. Provide songs and rhymes that have rhythm and are repetitive and low in key.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Two to Three Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Still considers mother very important. Don't force child to relate to strangers. Does not like strangers. Imitates and attempts to participate in Allow time to do things for self and to adult behaviors, e.g., washing dishes, explore. mopping floors, applying make-up. Can do things with others, such as Provide brief experiences with other listening to a story. children, but don't expect much socialization. EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Two to Three Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Needs to develop a sense of self. Needs to Provide simple experiences in which the do some things for self; enjoys praise. child can successfully do things for self. Praise often. Tests his/her powers; says "No!" often; Be firm in following through with your shows lots of emotion, laughs, squeals, instructions, but do not punish the child throws temper tantrums, cries violently. for expressing feelings and showing independence. He/she is not deliberately being "bad" but cannot control feelings until he/she has expressed them. Fears loud noises, quick moves, large Avoid sudden situations involving these animals, mother's departure. fears. Do not force or ridicule the child.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Two to Three Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Usually appears self-reliant and wants to Accept the child's limited ability to carry be good, but is not yet mature enough to out promises. Noncompliance is not be able to carry out most promises. deliberate, but just the child's way of expressing independence.

Developmental Tasks  To learn to distinguish between reality and fantasy.  To become comfortable with own sexual identity.  To make connections and distinctions between feelings, thoughts, and actions.  To solve problems by initiating and creating.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive fears; extreme separation anxiety; bedwetting; shyness; threatening or bullying peers; inhibited play; ritualistic behaviors, especially around food; persistent speech problems; toileting problems; excessive fear of strangers; lack of interest in others. Note : Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 3 to 7, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Runs, jumps, begins to climb ladders; can Carefully supervise physical activities. Set start to ride tricycles; tries anything; is necessary limits. very active; tends to wander away. Scribbles in circles; likes to play with mud, Provide materials and activities to sand, finger paints, etc.; can begin to put develop coordination, e.g., sand, crayons, together simple puzzles and construction paint, puzzles. toys. Dresses self fairly well; cannot tie shoes. Provide opportunities for child to dress self. Let him or her pick clothes. Can feed self with a spoon or fork. Let child feed self. Takes care of toilet needs more Label all body parts without judgment, independently; can stay dry all day but and answer questions about body perhaps not all night; becomes very functions simply and honestly. interested in own body and how it works.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Continues to learn through senses. Provide many sensory experiences, e.g., sand, water, pictures. Uses imagination a lot; starts dramatic Provide props for dramatic play, e.g., old play and role playing; likes to play grown- clothes, shoes, make-up. up roles, e.g., Mommy, Daddy, firefighter, spaceman, Wonder Woman. Begins to see cause-and-effect Point out and explain common cause-and- relationships. effect relationships -- how rain helps flowers grow, how dropping makes glass break, how hitting hurts a person. Is curious and inquisitive. Explain things to the child, answer questions honestly, and help child put feelings and ideas into words.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is sensitive about the feelings of other Develop a warm relationship with child. people toward self. Express and show love for and confidence in the child. Is developing some independence and Encourage independent activity. self-reliance. May have fear of strangers, animals, the Never force the child to participate in dark. frightening activities. Don't ridicule. Provide a night light. Is anxious to please adults and is Give approval through facial expressions, dependent on their approval, love, and gestures, and verbal responses. Avoid praise. negative remarks about the child. Emphasize the family's love for the child. May strike out emotionally at situations or Offer love, understanding, and patience. persons when having troublesome Help child work with and understand own feelings. emotions. (Note: Some temporary regression and jealousy are common if a new baby arrives.) SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Can leave mother for short periods but Express interest in what the child has mother is still very important. been doing while away from parent(s). Begins to notice differences in the way Model the things you want the child to do, men and women act. Imitates adults. since at the start of gender role development the child will imitate adults. Starts to be more interested in others; Provide enough materials so that several begins group play; likes company. Is not children can use them together. Help the ready for games or competition; groups child find socially acceptable ways of are not well formed. dealing with others.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Three to Four Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Begins to know right from wrong. Provide clear limits; enforce them consistently, but not harshly. Finds other's opinions of self to be Praise the child whenever you honestly important. can. Focus on behavior; be explicit, e.g., "You ate all the peas, and peas are good for you," or "That drawing has such beautiful colors," instead of "I like that drawing." Is more self-controlled and less Notice and reinforce child's self-control, aggressive. e.g., the ability to wait, to share belongings. Uses extreme verbal threats such as, "I'll Don't take threats personally or too kill you," without understanding full seriously. implications. Developmental Tasks  To learn to distinguish between reality and fantasy.  To become comfortable with own sexual identity.  To make connections and distinctions between feelings, thoughts, and actions.  To solve problems by initiating and creating.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive fears; extreme separation anxiety; bedwetting; shyness; threatening or bully peers; inhibited play and talk; ritualistic behaviors, especially around food; persistent speech problems; toileting problems; excessive fear of strangers; lack of interest in others or in a child's normal activities. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 3 to 7, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Four to Five Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is very active and consistently on the go. Provide plenty of play space both indoor Is sometimes physically aggressive. and out. Provide for rest, as child tires easily. Has rapid muscle growth. Provide ample protein in diet since nutrition is important.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Four to Five Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Has large vocabulary, 1500 to 2000 Provide interesting words, stories. Play words; has strong interest in language; is word games. fascinated by words and silly sounds. Likes to shock adults with bathroom Ignore bad language, since paying language. attention to it only reinforces it. Has insatiable curiosity; talks incessantly; Answer questions patiently. asks innumerable questions. Nightmares are common. Accept the fright as real. Help the child gain power over the experience (e.g., a "magic" light to freeze the monster). Has imaginary friends and active fantasy Don't ridicule or underestimate the life. importance of fantasy in the child's life.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Four to Five Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Really needs to play with others; has Send child to a good preschool or play relationships that are often stormy; when group. If not possible, encourage group playing in groups, will be selective about play, but don't be surprised by playmates. disagreements or child's behavior toward different playmates. Likes to imitate adult activities; has good Allow child to participate in adult imagination. activities which he/she can manage, e.g., dusting, setting the table, filling pets' water dish. Relies less on physical aggression; is Expect child to take simple learning to share, accept rules, take turns. responsibilities and follow simple rules, such as taking turns.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Four to Five Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Exhibits a great deal of name calling; can Keep a sense of humor. be demanding and/or threatening. Often is bossy, belligerent; goes to Provide outlets for emotional expression extremes, bossy then shy; frequently through talking, physical activity, and whines, cries, and complains. creative media. Often tests people to see who can be Establish limits and adhere to them. controlled. Is boastful, especially about self and Provide opportunities for talking about family. self and family. Has growing confidence in self and world. Strengthen positive self-esteem by pointing out the things child can do for self. Is beginning to develop some feeling of Assure the child that she/he is loved. insecurity.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Four to Five Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is becoming aware of right and wrong; Help the child be responsible and discover usually has desire to do right; may blame the consequences of his/her behavior. Be others for own wrongdoing. aware of your feelings and try to understand his/her perspective.

Developmental Tasks  To learn to distinguish between reality and fantasy.  To become comfortable with own gender.  To make connections and distinctions between feelings, thoughts, and actions.  To solve problems by initiating and creating.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive fears; extreme separation anxiety; bedwetting; shyness; threatening or bullying peers; inhibited play; ritualistic behaviors, especially around food; persistent speech problems; toileting problems; excessive fear of strangers; lack of interest in others. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 3 to 7, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Five to Six Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Can dress and undress self. Allow independence with clothing. May be farsighted, a common condition, Have child's eyes examined if problem causing hand and eye coordination persists. Accept awkwardness as a normal problems. condition at this time. Is able to care for own toilet needs independently. May have stomachaches or vomit when Offer appealing varieties in food, but don't asked to eat disliked foods; prefers plain force child to eat anything. cooking but accepts wider choice of foods; may have larger appetite.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Five to Six Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting May stutter if tired or nervous; may lisp. Do not emphasize language disturbance, since it is probably only temporary. Tries only what he/she can accomplish; Reinforce mastered skills and give will follow instructions and accept children opportunities to be successful in supervision. new, simple activities. Knows colors, numbers, etc.; can identify Provide opportunities for child to make penny, nickel, dime; may be able to print a change (e.g., in restaurants, stores) and to few letters; a few children learn to read on print own name and short names of their own. favorite people and objects.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Five to Six Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting May fear mother won't return, since Avoid leaving until the child is prepared mother is the center of the child's world. for mother's departure and return. Copies adults and likes their praise. Child needs reassurance. Plays with boys and girls; is calm and Rejoice and give opportunities for group friendly; is not too demanding in relations play. with others; can play with one child or a group of children, though prefers members of the same sex. Likes conversation during meals. Allow and respond to child-initiated conversation. Knows differences in sexes and is more Don't shame child for interest in sexual modest. differences or for touching self. Is interested in where babies come from. Offer simple, accurate explanation. If doesn't like school, may develop nausea Encourage child to find enjoyable and vomiting. activities at school. Is experiencing an age of conformity; is Help child learn the value of individual critical of those who do not conform. differences.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Five to Six Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting In general, is reliable and well-adjusted. Be grateful. May show some fear of the dark, falling, Don't dismiss fears as unimportant. dogs, or bodily harm, though this is not a particularly fearful age. If tired, nervous, or upset, may exhibit the Try not to appear overly concerned, since following behaviors: nail biting, eye an increase in nervous habits is blinking, throat clearing, sniffling, nose temporary and normal. Deal with the twitching, and/or thumbsucking. cause of the tension rather than the habit exhibited. Help the child structure time to include quiet play and rest. Read the child a story. Is concerned with pleasing adults. Show your love by recognizing positive behaviors. Is easily embarrassed. Be sensitive about embarrassing things and help child avoid them.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Five to Six Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is interested in being good, but may tell Do not be shocked by the child's untruths or blame others for wrongdoings untruthfulness. "Lying" is not a trait to because of intense desire to please and do come down hard on at this age. Help the right. child learn to accept responsibility for own action in a positive, caring manner. Wants to do what he/she believes is right Acknowledge child's attempt to act in and avoid what is wrong. accordance with own beliefs. Don't punish for inability to always behave properly. Developmental Tasks  To learn to distinguish between reality and fantasy.  To become comfortable with own gender identity.  To make connections and distinctions between feelings, thoughts, and actions.  To solve problems by initiating and creating.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive fears; extreme separation anxiety; bedwetting; shyness; threatening or bullying peers; inhibited play; ritualistic behaviors, especially around food; persistent speech problems and problems centering around toileting; excessive fear of strangers; lack of interest in others. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 3 to 7, each may be more observable at specific times.

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Six to Seven Years Old Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is vigorous, full of energy, and generally restless, Provide opportunities for a variety of physical e.g., foot tapping, wiggling, being unable to sit still. activities. Is clumsy due to poor coordination. Don't point out or emphasize clumsiness or change of Is in an ugly duckling stage. Has growth spurts. appearance. May occasionally wet or soil him-/herself when upset Accept accidents calmly as the child is apt to be or excited. embarrassed. Has marked awareness of sexual differences; may Give simple, honest answers in a calm manner. want to look at bodies of opposite sex (playing doctor, house, etc.); touches and plays with genitals less frequently; will accept the idea that a baby grows in the womb. Has unpredictable preferences and strong refusals; Provide balanced meals, but don't be overly often develops a passion for peanut butter. concerned with child's preferences or passion. Eats with fingers and talks with mouth full. Don't overreact; set a good example. Commonly suffers more colds, sore throats, and other Be aware of disease symptoms. Crankiness may illness, because of exposure at school. precede an illness. Child needs plenty of rest and balanced meals.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Six to Seven Years Old Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting May develop stuttering when under stress. Remember, language disturbance is temporary and may disappear of its own accord. Wants all of everything and finds it difficult to make Do not offer excessive choices, but provide choices. opportunities for making decisions. Begins to have organized, continuous memories; most Promote child's reading and writing (e.g., letters to children learn to read and write, although some don't relatives and friends, opportunity to create stories). until after age 7.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Six to Seven Years Old Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting May blame mother for anything that goes wrong. Provide consistent, caring responses to child's blame Male children will identify strongly with father. or over-identification. Child doesn't like being kissed in public, especially Be sensitive. boys. Identifies with adults outside the family (e.g., teacher, Accept this as okay. neighbor). Friendships are unstable; is sometimes unkind to Provide guidance in making and keeping friends. peers; is a tattletale. Must be a winner; changes rules to fit own needs; Help child to be a good loser. may have no group loyalty. In school, may develop problems if expectations are Keep in touch with the school. Be alert for feelings of too high; has trouble concentrating; may fool around, frustration and failure in the child. whisper, or bother other children. Perpetual activity makes meals difficult. Breakfast Allow extra time for breakfast. may be the most difficult meal.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Six to Seven Years Old Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Feels insecure as a result of drive toward Give child time, freedom, and opportunities to independence. practice being independent. Finds it difficult to accept criticism, blame, or Be patient and understanding. punishment. Child is center of own world and tends to be boastful. Accept apparent selfishness. Generally is rigid, negative, demanding, unadaptable, Set reasonable limits, offer explanation of limits, help slow to respond; exhibits violent extremes; tantrums child keep within them. reappear. If not the winner, often makes accusations that others Avoid games that designate a winner. are cheating. MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Six to Seven Years Old Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is very concerned with personal behavior, particularly Teach the child to be concerned and responsible for as it affects family and friends; sometimes blames own behavior. Assure child that everyone makes others for own wrongdoing. mistakes.

Developmental Tasks  To develop a sense of accomplishment centered around the ability to learn and apply skills, deal with peers, competition, self-control, and greater physical strength.  To develop and test values and beliefs, which guide present and future behaviors.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive concerns about competition and performance, especially in school; extreme rebellion; teasing; whining; headaches; nervous stomach; ulcers; nervous tics; consistent unconcern with completion of tasks (procrastination); overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks, e.g., combing hair, going to the store, tying shoes, finding a restroom in a restaurant; social isolation; lack of friends and involvements; few interests; inappropriate relationships with "older" people, e.g., teenagers; stealing; pathological lying; bedwetting; fire-setting. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 7 to 12, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Seven to Eight Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Drives self until exhausted. Assist child in changing activity to avoid complete exhaustion; be aware of child's physical limits. May frequently pout. Be patient, as child may not necessarily unhappy or dissatisfied, but is going through a stage. Now has well-established hand-eye Provide opportunities and materials for coordination and is likely to be more drawing and printing. interested in drawing and printing. May have minor accidents. Have plenty of fun band-aids on hand. Is less interested in sex play and Encourage child-infant relationship, if experimentation; can be very excited present. about new baby in family. Has fewer illnesses but may have colds of Fine-tune your supportive bedside long duration; appetite is decreasing. manner. May develop nervous habits or assume Be patient with annoying habits, and do awkward positions, e.g., sitting upside not draw attention to awkwardness. down on the couch, constant foot tapping.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Seven to Eight Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is eager for learning. Uses reflective, Ask many thought-provoking questions. serious thinking. Thoughts can be based Stimulate thinking with open-ended on logic; child can solve more complex stories, riddles, thinking games, problems. Attention span is good. discussions. Give many opportunities for decision making and selecting what he/she would do in particular situations. Enjoys hobbies and skills. Likes to collect Encourage the pursuit of hobbies and things and talk about personal projects, interests. writings, and drawings. Favors reality. Add stories that deal with reality. Provide biographies to read. Likes to be challenged, to work hard, and Give challenges that are appropriate for to take time completing a task. level of ability; allow plenty of time to accomplish a task.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Seven to Eight Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Will avoid and withdraw from adults; has Show understanding and concern. strong emotional responses to teacher; may complain that teacher is unfair or mean. Likes more responsibility and Assign responsibilities and tasks that can independence. Is often concerned about be carried out, and then praise child's doing well. efforts and accomplishments. Help child accept own performance. Participates in loosely organized group Encourage appropriate social interaction. play. Concerned with self and others' reactions. Help child evaluate his or her perceptions May fear being late; may have trouble on of others' behaviors. the playground; "kids are cheating" or "teacher picks on me" often said. May use aggression as a means to solve Attempt to prevent conflicts before they problems. erupt. Starts division of sexes (girls play with Encourage nontraditional gender based girls/boys with boys). activities.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Seven to Eight Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting May complain a lot ("Nobody likes me," Provide reasonable sympathy. "I'm going to run away," etc.). May not respond promptly or hear Remind and check as necessary. directions; may forget; is easily distracted. May withdraw or not interact with others, Provide personal support and in an attempt to build a sense of self. reassurance.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Seven to Eight Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting May experience guilt and shame. Acknowledge and support child's standards and discuss reasonableness of child's expectations. Encourage the child to be self-forgiving. Focus on the worth of an individual rather than on behavior. Then work on changing the behavior.

Developmental Tasks  To develop a sense of accomplishment, which centers around the ability to learn and apply skills, deal with peers, competition, self-control, and greater physical strength.  To develop and test values and beliefs, which guide present and future behaviors.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive concerns about competition and performance, especially in school; extreme rebellion; teasing; whining; headaches, nervous stomach; ulcers; nervous tics; extreme procrastination; overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks, e.g., combing hair, going to the store, tying shoes, finding a restroom; social isolation; lack of friends and involvements; few interests; inappropriate relationships with "older" people, e.g., teenagers; stealing; pathological lying; bedwetting; fire-setting. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 7 to 12, each may be more observable at specific times.

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Eight to Nine Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is busy and active; has frequent accidents. Sympathize and comfort. Makes faces, wiggles, clowns. Don't take it seriously. May frequently urinate as a result of anxiety. Be tolerant; it's not deliberate. Has good appetite; wolfs down food; belches Except for belching, rejoice! spontaneously; may accept new foods. Has improved health with a few short illnesses. Rejoice again.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Eight to Nine Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Wants to know the reasons for things. Answer questions patiently. Often overestimates own ability; generalizes instances Direct child toward attempting what can be of failure with such statements as, "I never get accomplished, but still provide challenges. Stress anything right." what the child has learned and not the end product. Wants more information about pregnancy and birth; Continue to be available to answer questions. may question father's role.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Eight to Nine Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Demands love and understanding from mother. Love and accept. Makes new friends easily; works at establishing good Assist with scouting or sport groups. Go to activities, two-way relationships; develops close friend of own such as his/her concerts. Be a part of his/her school sex. Considers clubs and groups important; enjoys life. school, doesn't like to be absent, and tends to talk more about it. Is not interested in family table conversations; wants Remain understanding of child's needs and feelings. to finish meal in order to get to other business. May "peep" at each other and at parents. Tells dirty Do not overly focus on child's behavior. Set jokes, laughs, and giggles. reasonable limits.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Eight to Nine Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Has more secrets. Provide child with a locked box or drawer. May be excessive in self-criticism; tends to dramatize Do not criticize. Encourage efforts. Teach that others everything; is very sensitive. also make mistakes. Has fewer and more reasonable fears. Build on their confidences. May argue and resist requests and instructions, but Keep directions simple; avoid "I already know" will obey eventually. responses by not over directing. Likes immediate rewards for behavior. Provide small but meaningful rewards for accomplishments. Is usually affectionate, helpful, cheerful, outgoing, Allow expression of negative emotions while and curious; can also be rude, selfish, bossy and maintaining limits. Be patient with giggling and demanding, giggly and silly. accept humor.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Eight to Nine Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting May experience guilt and shame. Acknowledge and support the child's standards and discuss reasonableness of child's expectations. Encourage the child to be self-forgiving. Focus on the worth of an individual rather than on behavior. Then work on changing the behavior.

Developmental Tasks  To develop a sense of accomplishment, which centers around the ability to learn and apply skills, deal with peers, competition, self-control, and greater physical strength.  To develop and test values and beliefs, which guide present and future behaviors.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive concerns about competition and performance, especially in school; extreme rebellion; teasing; whining; headaches; nervous stomach; ulcers; nervous tics; consistent lack of concern with completion of tasks (procrastination); overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks; social isolation; lack of friends and involvements; few interests; inappropriate relationships with "older" people, e.g., teenagers; stealing; pathological lying; bedwetting; fire-setting. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 7 to 12, each may be more observable at specific times.

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Nine to Ten Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Engages in active, rough-and-tumble play (especially Provide many opportunities to sustain interest. boys); has great interest in team games. Include team games. Has good body control; is interested in developing Provide opportunities for developing skills through strength, skill, and speed; likes more complicated the use of handicrafts and active games. crafts and work-related tasks. Girls are beginning to develop faster than boys. Do not compare boys and girls or force them to interact. Start teaching about bodily changes. Explain menstruation to both sexes.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Nine to Ten Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Has definite interests and lively curiosity; seeks facts; Give specific information and facts. capable of prolonged interest; can do more abstract Adjust learning opportunities to child's interests and thinking and reasoning. increased attention span. Do not give all the answers; allow time to think, meditate, and discuss. Individual differences become more marked. Respect and be aware of individual differences when making assignments and giving responsibilities. Likes reading, writing, and using books and Provide opportunities for reading, writing, and using references. reference materials; do not burden the child, however. Likes to collect things. Help with hobbies.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Nine to Ten Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Boys and girls differ in personalities, characteristics, Accept natural separation of boys and girls. and interests; are very group and club oriented but Recognize and support the need for acceptance from always with same sex; sometimes silly within group. peer group. Boys, especially, begin to test and exercise a great Be warm but firm. Establish and enforce reasonable deal of independence. limits. Is most interested in friends and social activities; likes Encourage friendships and help child who may have group adventures and cooperative play. few or no friends.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Nine to Ten Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting May have some behavior problems, especially if not Let the child know you accept him/her, even though accepted by others. you do not approve of specific behaviors. Is becoming very independent, dependable, and Provide many opportunities for exercising trustworthy. independence and dependability. Praise these positive characteristics.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Nine to Ten Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is very conscious of fairness; is highly competitive; Be fair in dealings and relationships with child. argues over fairness; has difficulty admitting mistakes Provide opportunities for competing, but help child but is becoming more capable of accepting failures see that losing is a part of playing. Do not ridicule, and mistakes and taking responsibility for them. but help child learn to take responsibility for behavior. Is clearly acquiring a conscience; is aware of right Express your love and support for the child who falls and wrong; wants to do right, but sometimes short of meeting your personal standards of right and overreacts or rebels against a strict conscience. wrong.

Developmental Tasks  To develop a sense of accomplishment, which centers around the ability to learn and apply skills, deal with peers, competition, self-control, and greater strength.  To develop and test values and beliefs, which guide present and future behaviors.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive concerns about competition and performance, especially in school; extreme rebellion; teasing; headaches; nervous stomach; ulcers; nervous tics; consistent procrastination; overdependence on caregivers for age- appropriate tasks; social isolation; lack of friends and involvements; few interests; inappropriate relationships with "older" people, e.g., teenagers; stealing; pathological lying; bedwetting; fire-setting. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 7 to 12, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Ten to Eleven Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Girls may have rapid weight increase. Provide good nutrition. Boys are more active and rough; motor To fine tune manual skills, put in a skills are well-developed. basketball hoop and/or provide roller blades.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Ten to Eleven Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is alert, poised, and concerned with fads; Encourage/teach child to use logic in argues logically. thinking and problem-solving. Is good time to discuss drug abuse. May like to read. Provide books geared to interests. May begin to show talent. Has many Provide lessons in music, art, and other interests of short duration. interests.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Ten to Eleven Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is affectionate with parents; has great Spend time with the child. pride in father; finds mother all- important. Is highly selective in friendships; may Accept child's need for, and choice of, have one best friend; important to be "in" friends and feeling of being "in". with the gang; may develop hero worship.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Ten to Eleven Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is concerned with style. Allow child to select clothes and hair style, within a firm budget. Is casual and relaxed. Enjoy! Likes privacy. Provide for personal space. Girls mature faster than boys. Provide reassurance as needed. Not an angry age; anger, when it comes, is Recognize and accept angry feelings, tears violent and immediate; seldom cries but of temporary duration, and outbursts. may cry when angry. Main worry concerns school and peer Provide opportunities for appropriate relationships. socialization.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Ten to Eleven Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Has strong sense of justice and a strict Recognize that the child's sense of justice moral code. is limited to own world. Accept rigidity and support the child's concerns about right and wrong. Don't belittle. More concerned with what is wrong than Acknowledge injustice. what is right.

Developmental Tasks  To develop a sense of accomplishment, which centers around the ability to learn and apply skills, deal with peer competition, self-control, and greater strength.  To develop and test values and beliefs, which guide present and future behaviors.  To come to terms with and accept the dramatic changes in the body (e.g., development of breasts, muscles; voice changes; pubic and facial hair). Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Excessive concerns about competition and performance, especially in school; extreme rebellion; teasing; whining; headaches; nervous stomach; ulcers; nervous tics; consistent procrastination; overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks; social isolation; lack of friends and involvements; few interests; inappropriate relationships with "older" people, e.g., teenagers; stealing; pathological lying; bedwetting; fire-setting. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 7 to 12, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Eleven to Twelve Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is increasingly aware of body. Answer questions about bodily changes openly and honestly. Possibility of acting on sexual desires Be aware of where youth is and with increases. whom; encourage group activities and discourage solo dating. Girls begin to show secondary sex Ensure that girls understand characteristics. menstruation. Both boys and girls need sexual education. Boys are ahead of girls in endurance and Don't nag boys about food intake and muscular development. Rapid growth may seeming "laziness." mean large appetite but less energy. May show self-consciousness about Provide support and encouragement for learning new skills. youth's quest for new skills. Don't minimize or dismiss his/her lack of confidence.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Eleven to Twelve Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Challenges adult knowledge; has Don't become defensive; child is not increased ability to use logic. challenging your authority. May have interest in earning money. Problem solve with youth on ways to earn income. Is critical of own artistic products. Accept youth's feelings but try to help youth evaluate his/her works more objectively. Is becoming interested in world and Support interest in walkathons, helping community; may like to participate in neighbors, etc. community activities.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Eleven to Twelve Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is critical of adults and is obnoxious to live Be tolerant. with. Strives for unreasonable independence. Set limits, but give opportunities for independence whenever possible. Has intense interest in teams and Provide for organized activities in sports organized, competitive games; considers or clubs. memberships in clubs important.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Eleven to Twelve Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Anger is common; resents being told what Help child set the rules and decide own to do; rebels at routines. responsibilities. Give child opportunity to make decisions. Often is moody; dramatizes and Don't overreact to moodiness and exaggerates own positions (e.g., "You're exaggerated positions. the worst mother in the world!"). Experiences many fears, many worries, Be understanding and supportive. many tears.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Eleven to Twelve Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Has strong urge to conform to peer-group Assist child in examining morals of the morals. group without condemnation. Recognize youth's need to belong to a peer group outside the family. Be aware of the values of the group and help the youngster understand the consequences of own choices among group values.

Developmental Tasks  To create own personal identity based upon the integration of values and a sense of self in relation to society, others, the opposite sex, the future, vocation, ideas, and the cosmos.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Delays in physical and sexual development, depression, suicide attempts, sense of isolation, loneliness, impulsiveness, extreme rebellion, denial of feelings, poor hygiene, fantasy as an escape from problems, alcohol/drug abuse, anorexia nervosa, bulimia, obesity, sexual activity to provide missing nurturance, prostitution, stealing, pathological lying, psychosis, truancy, running away, pregnancy, juvenile delinquency. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 12 to 19, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Twelve to Fifteen Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Experiences sudden and rapid increases Provide more food. in height, weight, and strength with the onset of adolescence. Girls are gradually reaching physical and Explain to child what is happening. sexual maturity. Boys are beginning to Discourage comparison with peers, but be mature physically and sexually. aware of problems of late maturation. Acne appears, especially with certain May need special diet and/or medication types of skin. to treat acne. Assure teen that it will clear up eventually. Is concerned with appearance. Comment favorably on youth's concern with appearance. Increased likelihood of acting on sexual Provide accurate information on desires. consequences of sexual activity. Discuss birth control and safe sex practices (HIV prevention). Physical Development for Eleven to Physical Development for Sixteen to Twelve Years Nineteen Years Return to Using the Child Development

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Twelve to Fifteen Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Thrives on arguments and discussions. Don't let discussions become arguments; don't put down the youth's ideas. Increasingly able to memorize; to think Encourage exploration of thought and logically about concepts; to engage in deed; provide books, library card, etc. introspection and probing into own thinking; to plan realistically for the future. May read a great deal. Talk to youth about reading; offer suggested readings. Needs to feel important in world and to Encourage youth to join causes, attend believe in something religious and community groups, etc.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Twelve to Fifteen Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Withdraws from parents, who are Don't feel hurt or take it personally. invariably called "old-fashioned." Remember you are still important, but not in the same way that you were. Boys usually resist any show of affection. Respect boundaries but continue to be affectionate. Usually feels parents are too restrictive; Set clear, firm, but flexible limits. rebels. Needs less family companionship and Allow youth more opportunities for interaction. independent social activities. Has less intense friendships with those of Don't criticize youth's need for friends or the same sex; usually has whole gang of particular friends. friends. Girls show more interest in opposite sex than do boys. Annoyed by younger siblings. Accept youth's feelings and help younger siblings cope with rejection.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Twelve to Fifteen Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Commonly sulks; directs verbal anger at Accept feelings and expect respect for authority figure. your feelings as well. Worries about grades, appearance, and Don't dismiss youth's concerns; provide popularity; is withdrawn, introspective. accurate feedback.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Twelve to Fifteen Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Knows right and wrong; tries to weigh Facilitate youth's decision making. alternatives and arrive at decisions alone. Is concerned about fair treatment of Demonstrate respect for youth as an others; is usually reasonably thoughtful; is emerging adult. unlikely to lie. Developmental Tasks  To create own personal identity based upon the integration of values and a sense of self in relation to society, others, the opposite sex, the future, vocations, ideas, and the cosmos. To establish independence from the family.

Indicators Related to Developmental Lag  Depression, suicide attempts, sense of isolation, loneliness, impulsiveness, extreme rebellion, denial of feelings, poor hygiene, fantasy as an escape from problems, drug/alcohol abuse, anorexia, bulimia, obesity, sexual activity to provide missing nurturance, prostitution, stealing, pathological lying, psychosis, fire-setting, violent assault, truancy, running away, pregnancy, juvenile delinquency, cults, early marriages that are likely to fail, hatred and rejection of family. Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 16 to 19, each may be more observable at specific times. PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Sixteen to Nineteen Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Has essentially completed physical Recognize and compliment physical maturation; physical features are shaped maturity. and defined. Probability of acting on sexual desires Provide accurate information on increases. consequences of sexual activity, discuss birth control and HIV prevention.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT: Sixteen to Nineteen Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting May lack information or self-assurance Facilitate appointment with school about personal skills and abilities. counselor. Seriously concerned about the future; Encourage talking about and planning for beginning to integrate knowledge leading future. to decisions about future.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: Sixteen to Nineteen Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Relationships with parents range from Try to maintain good relationship; be friendly to hostile. respectful and friendly. Sometimes feels that parents are "too Try not to pry. interested." Usually has many friends and few Recognize and accept current level of confidants; dates actively; varies greatly interest in opposite sex. Encourage in level of maturity; may be experiences with a variety of people, e.g., uncomfortable, or enjoy activities, with younger, older, different cultures. opposite sex; may talk of marriage. May be strongly invested in a single, Avoid disapproval; discuss needs and romantic relationship. expectations that get met in the relationship.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Sixteen to Nineteen Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Worries about failure. Be available to talk and to listen. May appear moody, angry, lonely, Accept feelings -- don't overreact; jointly impulsive, self-centered, confused, and establish limits, but don't revert to stubborn. childhood restrictions. Has conflicting feelings about Avoid ridicule of inconsistent behaviors. dependence/independence. Accept needs for separation.

MORAL DEVELOPMENT: Sixteen to Nineteen Years Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting Is confused and disappointed about Be sensitive to youth's feelings and discrepancies between stated values and thoughts. Try to bring them out in the actual behaviors of family and friends; open. Understand your own perspectives experiences feelings of frustration, anger, relating to values. sorrow, and isolation. May be interested in sex as response to Don't moralize. Accept sexual physical-emotional urges and as a way to experimentation as normal and healthy, participate in the adult world (but not although discourage them from necessarily an expression of mature unprotected coital sex. Provide correct intimacy). information on human sexuality, venereal disease, HIV and AIDS, birth control, intimacy, and safe types of sexual experimentation. Communicate your feelings about sexual relations. Be open to discussion and appreciate possible differences in values and needs.