First, You Should Find out What Is the Essential Nature of the Universe
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First, you should find out what is the essential nature of the universe.
Is the universe an inherentl irrational place, random and chaotic?
Chipmunk, your spoon.
Your spoon, it's on the floor.
- Are you ready to order? - Yes, the usual, please.
No, I’ll have a cup of coffee and a corn muffin, please.
Darling, that is your usual.
- Well, I’ll have that, then, thank you. - OK.
- Aha! - What?
It loses , molecules per square centimetre, per second.
- What does? - The comet.
Now, which one of these do you like best?
- Is this a personality test? - It's a sort of surprise.
- They're all the same. - No, look...
That's aquamarine, that's blue-green and that's algae.
1 At the atomic level, there's no such thing as colour.
Though they did do that study in Belgium, or was it Denmark...
- Babbling. - Babbling!
The point was... What was the point?
Since protons are so much smaller than light waves...
Algae, thank you.
Since protons are smaller than light waves, how could they ever see it to begin with?
Oh, James!
Or is there a fundamental order underlying all things?
Hey, Captain MarveI. Shazam!
Thanks. I was just reading about Boyd's Comet.
- Boyd's what? - Comet, like in the sky.
It's gonna be here soon. We'll be able to see it.
Know why a comet's tail always points away from the sun?
- Wanna know? - No.
It's not a tail at all.
2 It's bits of gas that the sun lights up.
We earthlings will keep that in mind.
Kinda like a -mile-long Jersey torch.
Wow!
It must be true!
The fact remains that certain events are strictly accidental.
What fact?
Oh, my! Look at the time.
No problem.
It's because it's spring. Everything goes through upheaval in the spring.
Come on, you little bitch!
- Sounds like business. - MG TF Roadster.
- Austin Healey. - Cadillac Coupe.
- Buck. - You're on.
- Intake valve. - Distributor cap.
Busted muffIer.
Are we all victims of some comic cosmic accident, or is there a grand design?
3 Oh, what luck!
- TC Roadster. - That's a TF.
Looks like a couple of college swells. You handle them, Ed.
Hi. What seems to be the problem?
Do you deal with British automobiles?
I don't want anyone just poking around with a sharp stick.
AII right if I look under the bonnet?
Well, at least he called it a bonnet.
So, that's the engine, huh?
I think we ought to go somewhere else.
- Intake valve, I'm telling you. - Busted muffler.
That's your problem.
- You got no spark. - What?
- You have no spark. - Yes, I heard him.
But what does it mean? Is it the generator, the coil?
It's hard to say. You have a Lucas type four generator on a -volt system.
4 The British would rather glue wood onto a dashboard than get the electrical system right.
Fascinating. But what is wrong with the car?
My guess is that your stroke is too short and you're getting premature ignition.
- Does it ever feel that way? - Like what?
Like the stroke is too short and you're getting premature ignition.
I'm sure I don't know what you mean.
Could you fix it temporarily? We're behind schedule.
I’ll check with my boss. Don't go away.
- He seems nice enough. - He's a troglodyte!
- Intake valve? - Busted muffler?
- I'm gonna marry her. - Who, the dame? That was fast.
- The car? - Distributor cap.
I looked at her, she looked at me and... It happened. You could feel it.
- Like death, but in a good way. - He's screwy.
5 Pop! Pop, pop, pop! It was electric!
And then... Then I kissed her.
- You kissed a customer? When? - In the future.
It was weird, like time and space got mixed up. Like a Martian mind-meld.
- He's crackin' up. - Stay away from the magazines.
No, you don't understand... The past, present and future all went together.
I had kids with her, I could see the kids! Two boys... No, three boys...
Excuse me! How long will all this take?
Well, that's up to you.
- It is? - The car, you nut.
- The car... A few days. - That long?
I'm gonna have to give it my full attention.
Well, I'd better call a phone. Can I use your cab?
There's a cab in the office.
But the uncertainty principle postulates a universe of chaos, where everything happens merely by chance.
6 Thank you.
- Well? - We'll take care of it.
Hello, I need a taxi... Catherine Boyd, B-O-Y-D.
What? Oh... What's the address here?
- Broad. - Broad.
First stop is the Silas Paine Institute, then Mercer.
- Your address? - Mercer.
Two minutes! Thank you. Bye.
Well... It was Belgium.
- It was? What was? - A study.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- I don't want you to worry... - James! The taxi's coming.
- Well done, honey... - Belgium.
- Two days, three at the most? - We'll call you.
I, for one, will never believe that God plays dice with the universe.
7 - We're wasting time! Serve aIready! - That's ridicuIous!
How can you waste something that doesn't exist?
Time doesn't exist? Since when?
I wouIdn't know. If time doesn't exist, then there is no ''when''.
You hear, Liebknecht? Another crazy theory.
Then teII me the correct time, now. You see, you can't.
Because as you're teIIing me, the future has become the past, therefore there is no present, therefore time doesn't exist!
Perhaps.
Oops!
Now your racket doesn't exist.
- Oh. - Yes?
- You're Albert Einstein. - Thank you.
- Wow! May I say what a great fan I am? - Thank you.
What you wrote about Iight being bent by gravitation, the reIativity thing...
8 That is...jivin'!
- I'm stiII trying to figure it out. - Me too.
- Can I heIp you, Mr... - WaIters, Ed WaIters.
I'm Iooking for Catherine Boyd. I must have the wrong address.
- Catherine is my niece. - She's your niece?
- I can't have a niece? - That wouId make you her uncIe.
- It works niceIy, doesn't it? - Wow!
I found this watch of hers at my garage, and...
Thank you. I see that she gets it.
I was hoping to return it to her personaIIy.
Why?
Let's just say it wouId be beneficiaI to her future.
Perhaps you'd better come in, Mr WaIters.
May I present Boris PodoIsky, Kurt Godel, Nathan Liebknecht?
Three of the greatest minds of the th century,and amongst them they can't change a
9 Iight buIb.
- Edward, is it? - Yes.
Edward has come to pay a call on Catherine.
- Good... - Nice, very nice...
- I couId fix this for you. - Oh, very nice.
Very nice. Thank you very much.
This is my compass.
This is what got me started in my work.
So, young man. Do you think time exists?
Time?
I was just reading about it in Future Science magazine.
- TeII us. - There are these twins...
One takes a journey in a spacecraft, at the speed of Iight,and the other one stays on earth.
The twin that traveIs into space comes back years Iater, and he's young.
And the one who stayed on earth, by this time, is very oId.
So, which one do you think is happier?
10 - The young one. - Ja.
- No, the one that stayed behind. - Why?
Because he's had a fuII Iife, he's had experiences in Iove and pain.
He has a famiIy and friends. And the one who Ieft, weII...
- Time has just passed. - Ja. This is good, no?
TeII us, what is your fieId of expertise?
My job? I'm an auto mechanic.
''See the USA in your ChevroIet'', huh?
- What do you know about gravity? - Gravity?
- Ja. - We have a IittIe gravity probIem.
- PIease be carefuI, Edward. - Take it easy.
- What do you think of our Catherine? - She's wonderfuI.
- WonderfuI to the power of three. - To the power of ten.
- We aII Iove her. - She's engaged, you know.
11 I know, I saw the ring.
He's a professor of experimentaI psychoIogy, James...
- MorIand. - The Rat Man.
You know what he does? He puts eIectrodes on the genitaIs of the rats.
Some day I do that for him.
We threw the racket up to get the birdie.
We threw Godel's cane up there to get the racket.
I threw PodoIsky's goIf cIub up there to get even with him.
We're going to throw Godel up there next.
- It's a vicious tree. - Edward...
What makes you think she wouId be better off with you?
- I don't know. Just a feeIing. - A feeIing? What kind of feeIing?
It's crazy.
That's aII right, you can teII us. We are aII a IittIe crazy.
When she came in the garage,it was like everything sIowed down, and got...
...very cIear.
It's like when you mill a camshaft, or grind the curve on a fender.
12 As you do it, you know everything's gonna work out perfect.
Everything's gonna fit, you know?
- Do you ever have that feeIing? - Ja. One time in .
Watch out!
Mr WaIters. Are you aII right?
That gravity, it's a kiIIer.
Mr Bamberger, I don't know what you think I can do.
I'm finishing my thesis. I do some administrative work for my uncIe, but...
He adores you, they aII do. They'II Iisten to you.
Sit here. Get the fuII effect, pIease.
I founded the Institute for Advanced Study as a pIace for pure thought.
But the symposium next week, it's our Iast chance.
My accountants are aII over me.
Sit a IittIe cIoser.
TeII your uncIe we need something. A new invention.
Something that can be bought here, made here, Iaunched from here.
It's important for the Institute.
13 Stereo high fideIity.
Spike Jones!
Move a IittIe cIoser.
- It sounds like you couId touch him. - Or sIap him.
You were attracted to the earth at feet per second per second.
I beIieve it.
Such a beautifuI day!
Come. We'II find Catherine and you give her the watch.
Look at this!
You know, when I was a patent cIerk in SwitzerIand,
I wondered how the universe wouId Iook if I was traveIIing at the speed of Iight,on a motorcycIe.
- HeIIo, Mr Einstein! - How you doin', Doc?
Good, very good. I aIways wanted a convertibIe.
Wahoo!
- Edward! - What?
- Faster! - OK. Hang on, Doc!
14 Wahoo!
Please...! Help!
- James. - Professor!
- Is Catherine here? - No. But I'm gIad you've come...
Dr Morland...!
- Shouldn't somebody heIp him? - It's a time deprivation experiment.
Go on, have a Iook. He can't see you.
This is right out of Martians Ate My Brain. Ever read that?
- Don't I know you? - Ed and I are working on something.
- ReaIIy? What? - Attraction at a distance.
ShaII we have a Iook at the...? PIease, don't touch anything, wiII you?
...the mice I was taIking about, just round here.
The mouse has Iearnt that the red Iever gives him an eIectricaI stimuIus akin to sexuaI cIimax, and the bIue Iever dispenses food.
Now, this one here hasn't eaten for three days.
There. Now, why wouId he do that?
Excuse me a moment.
15 Gretchen, couId you...? This is curious.
- That feIIow caImed down so quickIy. - Yeah, it's funny.
Where's your watch? You were wearing a wristwatch.
I figured, since time doesn't exist, who needs a watch?
That was ausgezeichnet. Thank you.
- You're very weIcome. - Next time, I bring my goggIes.
AII right, Doc.
Ah, Catherine!
Hi.
- The garage. - He's quite a guy, your uncIe.
- Yes, he... Do you know him? - I get around.
Did you take him on that thing?
You took Albert Einstein for a ride on a motorcycIe?
- Don't ever do it again. - Why not?
- He couId've been kiIIed.
16 - He Ioved it. He went ''Wahoo!''
- ''Wahoo!''? - When did he Iast go ''Wahoo!''?
- I'm sure I don't know. - When did you Iast go ''Wahoo!''?
- I'm sure I don't know. - Want a Iift?
On that?
No... No...No.
''Come on, what couId happen? So you die a IittIe.''
- HeIp me out, I'm nervous. - ReaIIy? Why?
I'm trying to figure out the best way to ask you to dinner.
- Mr... - WaIters. Ed.
Right. I'm sure you're a very nice person.
And I'm happy my automotive safety is in your Iarge, very capabIe hands.
But I reaIIy should be going that way so... Goodbye.
- Then dinner's out of the question? - Yeah.
So I should give you this.
17 - You found it. - You Ieft it.
- You fixed it. - I poIished it.
- And I tightened the screws. - I can feeI that.
It's very pretty.
It was my father's. I thought I'd Iost it.
- Thank you. - You're weIcome.
- I'm sorry if I was abrupt before. - No probIem.
- Astonishing. - An unmistakeabIe chemicaI reaction.
What?
- What? - MarIon Brando!
Maybe not.
So, James... Where is it to be?
- Where's what to be? - The honeymoon.
What have you two Iovebirds decided on?
We haven't reaIIy discussed it much.
18 I was thinking of the Ituri Forest in the BeIgian Congo.
ExceIIent!
There's a pygmy viIIage, near the Mbuti settIement.
It's fascinating. A sort of compIete pygmy package.
A hospitaIity hut, wiId boar roast, you wash in the river, tribaI rituaIs...
It's like being one of the tribe reaIIy. It's the opportunity of a Iifetime.
I was thinking more aIong the Iines of a miIIion kisses on your skin.
I beg your pardon?
On Maui, they have these naturaI sIides formed from voIcanic eruptions of obsidian.
You cIimb up and sIide down into what they caII the Seven Sacred Pools.
And the water is so aerated, it feels like a million kisses on your skin,or like an enormous tongue just licking your entire body.
Dean, do you remember...
Obsidian sIides and great Iicking tongues?
I mean, he's the head of the whoIe department!
James, how wouId you like a million kisses on your skin?
What if we have our own primitive ritual, right here?
Have you gone mad? What are you doing?
19 You don't Iove me.
Because I won't make Iove to you in the middIe of a dinner party?
How can you say such a thing? You know I Iove you more than anything.
- You're my IittIe munchkin. - I don't know. Am I?
Of course you are. My IittIe munchy munchkin.
Look, I wasn't going to teII you this tiII Iater.
- But remember the surprise? - No.
- The coIour cards? - Yes.
After our honeymoon, we'II have a home to come home to.
In Stanford.
FuII professor, Department of AppIied PsychoIogy.
It comes with its own IittIe munchkin nest,and you've aIready picked out the coIour.
AIgae. This is a coIour?
- And room for the chiIdren. - ChiIdren?
James says three years apart is best for their mentaI deveIopment.
- What about your mentaI deveIopment?
20 - What?
- Your research. - I don't know.
I wonder if I wouIdn't be a better mother than a mechanic. Mathematician.
Catherine, when your father asked me to care for you,
I tried to teII him that the things I know are not very usefuI in the reaI worId.
That's why I'm so Iucky that I have James.
We have common goaIs and interests. He's briIIiant, organised, a pIanner.
I find him very stimuIating,inteIIectuaIIy.
- But what about Iove, Catherine? - What?
When does this aII happen, this wonderfuI, organised Iife?
In September. They say Stanford is beautifuI in the faII.
This is the happiest day of my entire Iife.
Don't worry, Liebchen. It wiII work out.
Versprichst du 愀 mir? lch versprech 愀 dir. I promise.
I'm crazy about this song.
Get him! What are you, PodoIsky, a hep-cat?
21 No, I'm an American.
- What is it, Mr Hep-Cat American? - I know, it's...
Look out!
Learn to drive! PeopIe should pass a test before they're aIIowed to drive.
You have to pass the test. How eIse couId you get a Iicence?
- A Iicence. - It's ''Tutti frutti, oh rootie''.
- Quiet! - What is wrong with you, Albert?
Catherine... She should be having more fun.
She needs a young man. She should go out, go dancing.
- A IittIe shtupping... - Come on, Nathan, pIease!
She thinks shtupping is a town in Bavaria.
Where are you taking us, Albert?
WeII, boys, how wouId you like to have a convertibIe?
- Edward! - Edward!
Oh, beautifuI!
22 Sir?
- It's very nice uphoIstery. - You're Albert Einstein!
- E=mc ! - I hope so!
- This comes from the factory like this? - No, no, it's all custom.
I can't believe it, in my garage!
This is Professor Einstein, the smartest person in the world.
How they hangin'?
- Edward! - Hey, Doc.
Edward, there it is. What do you think?
- It is possibIe? - Anything's possibIe.
- He wants to turn that into this. - ConvertibIe.
No probIem. You want the fuII treatment?
Ja, the whoIe baII of wax. PodoIsky, stop that!
OK, so we chop the top, we modify the nose and deck.
- FiII in bIock. - French tuck and roII inside.
23 - Dago the front? - Just a touch.
Quad barreIs for the miII. Master kit.
Hot coiI. Stinger exhaust. High-nickeI chrome.
- Sound good? - Like Mozart.
I recall here is an ice-cream parlour. Come, we get a scoop.
- Doc, it's this way. It's all right? - Yeah, go!
- Thank you very much. - Sure.
When I first arrived here in
I bought one of these, tripIe scoop.
- What fIavour? - Peppermint.
You see, this is a good question.
''What fIavour?'' SimpIe, specific and it has an answer.
You read a Iot of science fiction.
TeII me, do you think they'II ever find inteIIigent Iife anywhere in the universe?
StiII Iooking for inteIIigent Iife here on earth.
24 Catherine is a briIIiant mathematician, but she Iacks confidence.
She thinks her contribution to the worId wiII be through her chiIdren.
She has this crazy idea that if she marries an inteIIectuaI, she wiII have genius chiIdren, or something like that.
- Catherine's too smart for that. - She's too smart here.
But not here. What she needs is to go out with someone like you.
The probIem is, she wouId never go out with someone like you.
That's easy. Just Iend me your brain for a coupIe of days.
- What? - Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
What wouId be the odds of that happening?
- It's stiII not right. - He doesn't Iook like a scientist.
- So, what's the pIan, Doc? - Here, try this.
The pIan is we taIk science,we have something to eat, we drink some schnapps and taIk about Iife.
- It's too fashionabIe. - Ja, here.
- Take the Ieather coat.
25 - Wait.
Nathan, your cardigan.
What do I do if she asks me a question?
If she asks you a question, you pretend to smoke a pipe.
And then you say, ''Interesting concept.''
- Don't worry. - We'II change the subject.
- Change the subject? - You know, like in footbaII.
We'II run in defence.
And now... This is a tie. This wiII hoId up your pants.
- Good, huh? - Ja, good.
He Iooks like a French Impressionist.
26 The energy of a nuclear configuration is given by the expectation value of the nuclear Hamiltonian in a state with N neutrons and P protons...
Fusion will occur if the energy of the fused state is lower
than the energy of the two separate nuclei.
Our task is to see if the dynamics dictated by the interaction Hamiltonian
generates a reaction to make cold fusion-powered engines feasible.
- Good. - HeIIo.
- HeIIo. - HeIIo, Liebchen.
So, we have here, E over C squared...
27 It's E squared. Minus E squared over B, minus V of X.
- D of X, or V of X? - V as in very.
- What's going on? - Edward has been hoIding out on us.
In addition to being a very fine automotive mechanic,
he is aIso, in physics, something of a wunderkind.
- Wunderkind. - Wunderkind!
I had this idea. I read about the doc. We worked on it together...
- And everybody thought it wasn't so bad. - Wasn't so bad!
28 - It was astonishing! - Very innovative.
Do I get to hear what it is?
I figured out how to buiId a nucIear-powered spacecraft engine.
- A fusion engine. - A what?
We're gonna bottIe the process that fueIs the stars.
CoId fusion, it's mind-boggIing.
- He's a mechanic. - I was a cIerk, in a patent office.
Faraday was a carpenter. Isaac Newton was an insurance saIesman.
29 - Fusion. - Fusion.
ReaIIy? What are you wearing?
What difference does it make what he is wearing?
A nucIear-powered spacecraft.
- That's perfect for New Jersey. - New Jersey?
The symposium. Do you have a paper?
- Paper? - No, no... Not ready.
- We must check the speIIing. - Very important.
30 - We couId have it ready. - You couId?
- Sure... CouIdn't we? - Ja, we couId.
- When is the symposium? - ApriI st.
- Five days. - That's not a probIem.
This is great! Bamberger wiII be thriIIed.
I am very gratefuI. It's just so...
...huge, reaIIy.
Isaac Newton was not an insurance saIesman.
31 What?
Boys, our IittIe experiment has just jumped to a higher energy IeveI.
Minus Y to X pIus one...
Over X.
Minus Y to the X pIus Y... Minus Y to the X...
- What Ianguage is that, Martian? - Wait...
- You're not changing anything? - No.
- What's aII that? - Nothin'.
Right. Grab your scaIpeI. Let's operate.
32 I don't beIieve it! Einstein's car!
We do this right, Eddie-boy, we'II have a whoIe new cIienteIe!
WeIcome to the First InternationaI Physics Symposium
designed to bring together the very best minds...
It's time, Edward.
This is the largest gathering of the scientific...
- I can't do this. - Why? Because you're sick with fear?
Ninety-nine per cent of the worId wakes up like this every morning.
33 Every morning!
Edward, just remember why you are doing this.
- She's not here. - He's never shown normaI inteIIigence.
- Think of that, nucIear fusion! - These things happen.
Idiot savants, a mentaI patient pIays chess,
a nine-year-oId from AIabama spouts iambic pentameters...
It's packed!
To open our programme, here with his paper entitIed,
34 ''CoId Fusion-Powered ExpIoration Paradigms'', is our very own Edward WaIters.
Edward WaIters.
Doctor WaIters...
- Are you aII right, Doctor WaIters? - Ed.
Ed?
Ed.
No, no, it 愀 P squared over N, not N squared over P...
They forgot to transpose the Q value!
...she marries a genius, she 惻 l have genius children.
- Do something, Nathan. - I am, but it's not heIpfuI, or pIeasant.
- A nuclear-powered spacecraft! - Time, Edward...
Distinguished coIIeagues, honoured guests...
Edward, just remember why you are doing this.
Any journey in Iife,if not done for human reasons with understanding and Iove...
This is not the paper we wrote.
- Shhh! Listen! - ...wouId be empty and IoneIy.
And Iook!
35 It's something worth remembering, as nucIear-powered spacecraft may soon make the ancient dream of traveIIing to the edge of the universe and back a reaIity.
The source of that power is the very source that fueIs the stars themseIves and in doing so fueIs our imagination and our dreams.
Let us suppose that V of X is a standard barrier penetration potentiaI...... and that psi is a nucIeon wave function.
Then as usuaI, minus IH bar D psi...... DT equaIs minus D squared...... psi DX squared pIus V of X.
Bravo!
What a circus! The scientific nonsense was mind-numbing.
What was that mush about the heart?
You don't understand, you're not a physicist.
WeII, neither was he untiI recentIy. Did you see the grease under his naiIs?
CongratuIations!
- To genius. - To fusion.
To the heart.
So you never went to coIIege?
I bareIy finished schooI, I was aIways taking cars apart.
36 Yet you have an amazing grasp of theory.
I beIieve you used de BrogIie's formuIa for the piIot wave.
Of course, it was briIIiant.
CouIdn't have done without it.
I forgot that. CouId you remind me?
Yeah, sure...
X equaIs...... one pIus...... W... X equaIs one pIus W...... cubed...... in...... over pi.
Right... Can you invert that?
Where is he? Where is that beautifuI boy?
- Rocket ships. Zoom! - Zoom!
- Home run, Catherine! - Thank you, sir.
Ed WaIters, I present Louis Bamberger.
If you had a nickeI for every nickeI he has,you wouId have a Iot of nickeIs.
An honour and a pIeasure, sir.
New Jersey, Ieader in intergaIactic rocket expIoration.
- How's that sound for a Iicence pIate? - Long.
Sense of humour! I Iove this boy.
37 May I steaI my niece for one minute, pIease?
- We were just about to Ieave. - Just one minute. I need some air.
James! How's the rat business?
WeII, it's reaIIy students I'm experimenting on now.
My God, the mazes must be enormous!
Green, bIack, red... Look at that!
It's like having four pens in one. What an exciting time to be alive!
Louis! We need to have a talk.
This is going to be something I understand, isn't it?
Yes, but you see...
That's better... Look, Catherine...
Look at the stars, Iook at the sky, Iook at... Edward!
We were just taIking about the stars.
WeII, enough breathing...
What a night! I haven't seen a sky like this since I was a kid, at Stargazer's FieId.
How many stars do you think are up there?
- Ten to the twelfth, plus one.
38 - You don't have to say that.
No, really. Everybody is quite impressed.
Know why a comet's tail points away from the sun?
- Yes. - Me too.
My grandma used to teII me that stars are where a woodpecker pecked hoIes in the sky.
- She wasn't very scientific. - My father didn't reaIIy see stars.
He said he saw ''great seas of fire and nucIear furnaces''.
He said it was like a very vioIent baIIet, too smaII for anyone to see.
- What is keeping James? - I don't know.
- He discovered a comet. - James?
No, my father. They named it after him.
Boyd's Comet. My God, that's you. That's your father.
- I was just reading about that. - You've read his works?
- Some of them. There are so many. - Three.
Three? ReaIIy? There seemed like more.
39 They're aII so action-packed.
Action-packed? What is he saying?
- He's coming back. - James?
No, my father.
Before he died, he promised that when the comet came back he'd be riding on it.
Right...
Right there.
I think it's there. Just beIow Cassiopeia.
You're right.
He said he'd be Iooking down to make sure I was OK.
- So how are you? Are you OK? - Catherine? Catherine!
The Rat Man cometh!
- Wait... - Catherine!
Oh, my God! Somebody caII a doctor!
Albert, say something!
Just had too many Kn 鐰 lisch for Iunch. I need my piIIs.
- Catherine, you know where they are. - At home.
40 Edward, you drive me.
AII right, you drive him home.
I’ll coIIect your things, Catherine, and see you at the Caf?Descartes Iater.
Yes?
- Lie down. - Albert, you want us to come with you?
- Watch out, we're going. - Goodbye, pIease.
Wait a minute. How do we get home?
Good question.
It's a IoveIy night. We'II waIk.
Look, I've found my piIIs.
Now, maybe we can catch some of this in a gIass.
- We should get you out of this. - Good idea.
Over there. That caf? Edward.
A very bad Albert Einstein joke?
- His first wife divorced him. - I Iive too much here, not enough here.
- You have chiIdren? - Two boys.
41 Hans Albert. His mother named him whiIe I was out of town.
- And Edward. - Yes?
No, Edward was the name of the other boy.
You must have Iived here at Ieast twice.
Edward...
How did you first think of atomic fueI?
WeII, it just sorta hit me.
- Boom. - Boom!
Was it a KoestIer boom or an accident?
KoestIer says accidentaI discoveries aren't accidents.
PeopIe have moments of insight and intuition that they're prepared for by experience to recognise them for what they are.
- BabbIing. - BabbIing?
You're not babbIing.
If I had a mind like yours, I wouIdn't stop taIking.
I think it's letting up.
- I think she wants to leave. - She doesn't know what she wants.
- StiII raining.
42 - StiII raining.
I think your uncIe wants us to dance.
Don't be irreIevant, Ed. You can't get from there to here.
Why not?
Don't teII me that a famous and briIIiant scientist like yourseIf doesn't know about Zeno's Paradox?
- Remind me. - You can't get here,because you have to cover half the remaining distance.
I have to cover haIf of it.
But I stiII have haIf of that remaining, so I cover haIf that, and...
There's stiII haIf of that Ieft, so I cover haIf of that, and haIf of that, and haIf of that, and since there are infinite haIves Ieft,
I can't ever get there.
So how did that happen?
I don't know. It's not possibIe.
- James! - No, Ed.
James, I was supposed to meet him.
Go, go, go!
- There we go again. - We did it!
43 So we have particIe C, Catherine,in orbit around particIe J, James.
Now arrives particIe E, Edward, foIIows C, becomes a new entity,C pIus E,which causes J to disintegrate.
''Edward WaIters, a IocaI garage mechanic and amateur physicist,
''dropped a bombsheII on the InternationaI Physics Symposium
''with the announcement of a formuIa that makes
''interpIanetary traveI by nucuIar rocket a reaI possibiIity.''
- NucIear. - I said nucuIar, professor.
- NucIear. - Good picture.
This must be the dumbest thing anybody did to impress a dame.
EspeciaIIy one that expects you to taIk to her.
Shut up, Frankie. Eddie...
You hardIy finished high schooI. How do you expect to get away with this?
- I know a Iot about science. - Excuse me. Ed WaIters?
- Who are you? - BiII RiIey, Times.
- Hi, Bob Rosetti. I own the pIace. - Hey, Mr Rosetti.
Were you surprised to find out you had a briIIiant empIoyee?
44 Why do you think I hired him? He's a genius.
A Iot of foIks are wondering how an ordinary guy like yourseIf couId come up with such advanced ideas.
- I can teII you. Edward, congratuIations! - Thank you.
You see, we're only just beginning to understand the true nature of inteIIigence.
- And you are? - James Morland.
Silas Paine Institute, experimental psychology.
We're learning that genius, the abiIity to make intuitive breakthroughs, can flower almost anywhere. Isn't that so, Edward?
- You're the expert. - Yes, I am. And that's why I'm here.
Apart from to get my car, which I trust is ready by now.
- We'd like to study you. - Study me?
Your brain, your thinking processes.
A chance to increase our understanding of knowledge.
What do you say? Can we count on you? One colleague to another?
You may recognise this variation on the classic P, C and D examination.
45 Mr Walters will have minutes.
He will find the first problem inside this box. Ready, Ed?
- Actually... - Start the clock.
Yes...
This went... Quite impressive.
- Now we move on to Phase Two. - Phase Two?
We've tested the subject's motor abiIity, and now his generaI knowIedge, which I'm quite curious about.
So I have devised a series of multiple choice questions, in all, on relativity, Newtonian physics, physical chemistry and quantum mechanics.
The subject has minutes to complete the series.
Lights, please. Would you like to sit down?
And projector.
Start the clock.
Excuse me.
Excuse, please.
I'm done. Is that it? ln an IQ test today, mechanic Ed Walters scored placing him in the top . %...
- Did he pass?
46 - That's our Eddie! Mention the garage!
Come on, Bob and AI's...
President Eisenhower scoffed at the Soviet claims to have leapt ahead in the space race.
He dismissed the Red rumours, saying the first man in space will eat hot dogs, not borscht.
And the name of the man to put us there...
- Sweet! - I was wrong about him.
He's not an idiot savant at all. He's the real thing.
He's an idiot idiot.
...the boy grease-pit genius. Like his mentor, Albert Einstein,
Ed dreamed of solving the mysteries...
If you got the stars out of your eyes, you'd see for yourseIf.
Before long, we'll all be going to the moon on nuclear rocket engines...
...and save on our fuel bills into the bargain.
Have you actuaIIy read this earth-shattering paper of his?
- No. - ReaIIy?
47 I thought you'd be dying to read it, as a mathematician.
Mathematicians and physicists everywhere are examining this theory...
It's me!
...the mathematical brilliance of this simple mechanic,who believes, in the land of the free and the home of the brave, nothing is impossible.
- Do the horn again, Edward. - Ja, ja!
Albert, we have our convertibIe!
This is like saiIing without the wetness.
Wonderful thing you have made here. Why aren't you smiling?
- I gotta teII Catherine the truth. - No, it's too soon.
She's faIIing in Iove with the wrong guy, Doc.
Ja, but it's Iove. Edward, it's Iove.
- Catherine. - No, thank you.
- Ed! - Hi.
I was gonna ask you why you use that operator there?
I often ask myseIf the same question.
48 It's just a stroke of briIIiance.
I'm just so cIose to figuring it out.
- TroubIe ahead. - Maybe. Maybe not.
- If she finds the fIaw in our theory? - We undermine her confidence.
- We shouldn't do that. - How?
We'II be obscure and obtuse.
Are you taking something for granted? What if you question everything?
Look at it from a different perspective. Question everything.
UncIe Albert, couId this be right?
What? I know that Iook. What did I do?
I never saw it this way.
I don't know what I was thinking.
Excuse me.
What did you say to her?
- Why Iet them scare you off? - They're the greatest minds in the worId.
- Who says they have aII the answers? - Who says what?
49 Who says you're not one of the greatest minds?
I'm not like you. You're a naturaI. You're just like one of them.
- No, I'm not. - Yes, you are.
- Believe me, I'm not. - OK. You're younger.
The point is, you're not just some dumb mechanic, you're a genius.
- And I'm... I don't know what I am. - What? A housewife?
- AImost. - I think you're more than that.
''Lady, the onIy thing you're afraid of is yourseIf.''
- Can I ask you something? - What?
What... Why do you do that?
- What? - Brando.
I'm just trying to make you smiIe.
WeII, thanks. Bye.
It's for the best. We squeeze the brain a IittIe to make room for the heart.
Maybe accidents are part of the grand design.
50 If you cause the accident, then it is not an accident.
The troubIe with accidents is you can't predict the outcome.
So maybe Catherine wiII faII in Iove with one of us.
You're such a dreamer, Liebknecht.
- I'm sorry, were you sIeeping? - Catherine... No, I was just in repose.
- Where were you? - Thinking.
- I was worried about you. - That I was thinking? Me too!
No, I was worried that you were angry with me.
This is the one thing I wouId not be abIe to bear.
PIease forgive a fooIish oId man.
Oh, no, you weren't being... WeII, maybe a IittIe.
It was me. He'II teII me what to think.
- Who? - My notebook! I thought I'd Iost this.
Catherine, who?
My dad. The comet, Friday. Ten thirty-five.
Liebchen, I know we make fun of your James.
51 We caII him the Rat Man, and the Rodent King.
The Lesser Professor, the ExcrementaI PsychoIogist.
- Monkey Lips. - Chimp Pimp.
This aII stops now.
But I wish for you, you go out and have a good Iife.
You mean that?
- I just spoke with him. - Who?
With the Rat... With James.
Tomorrow, we aII go together and we have an excursion.
HeIIo? Someone Iost?
- We heard screaming. - Screaming?
Professor Einstein said you'd be together.
Not here. We're going saiIing.
Oh, saiIing! Of course! We were mistaken.
We never go saiIing.
He says the fish don't want to eat what we have just eaten.
- I’ll check on him. - He's fine!
52 Don't touch anything!
This is what we miss in physics, screaming.
If anybody screams, it's usuaIIy me.
PIease, don't touch anything.
- You Iet the rats run around like that? - What?
Very democratic of you!
Eighteen months of experimental research!
AII the monkeys!
We see you are very busy. We'll come back another time.
HaIIeIujah! HaIIeIujah!
- These psychoIogists, so crazy! - Go!
I don't understand, he's aIways minutes earIy for everything.
- Any Ionger, we Iose the wind. - That's it, we're set.
I'm very disappointed.
I was Iooking forward to getting to know him better.
WeII, maybe next time.
It's pretty.
53 - Sorry. Are you OK? - UncIe Albert!
Cut it out!
- There's something I have to say. - No, Iisten...
I know that UncIe Albert and everybody wants us to, you know...
- There's something eIse. - Let me...
It's just that... WeII, Iove between two peopIe...
- Sorry... Uncle Albert! - I'm steering the boat!
Love... No...
People who share common goals and interests...
- Did you ever hear of the colour algae? - No.
The point is, Ed, you can't choose who you're gonna love.
- I know that. - You know, it just happens.
I think you're a decent person and I respect you.
- I respect you, too. - I know how you feel about me.
It's just that you can't expect somebody you've just met, somebody who hardly knows
54 you, to suddenly say...
- I love you. - I understand, that's OK.
No, I love you.
I do. I do. I said it!
- You love me? - Yes, I love you!
- Uncle Albert, please cut that out! - Just stop.
I can do it myself now.
Wahoo.
- Did you feel that? - Ja!
Somewhere, an atom collided with an atom, that collided with an atom, and so on, until it collided with us!
To atoms, those sexy little cuties!
I suppose you think you're in love with this mechanic?
Yes, Ed, I'm in love with him!
Look, let me explain.
It's an infatuation. It's not love.
He's pleasant-looking, popular,
Uncle Albert likes him, so naturally you feel attracted, but...
55 It won't last.
What we have will last. Common aims and interests, verbal communications, financial security, intellectual compatibility.
What about love?
Sounds like a hundred-dollar brake job. Frank?
Busted tappets. Ed?
What do you think?
She loves me.
I thought that was the idea. You haven't told her?
- I've been trying. - Tell 'em nothing!
It's not hard. You call her up and say, ''Hello, I'm a Iying grease-monkey.''
Leave me alone, will you? It's gonna be all right.
She loves me.
Will it work?
Will it work? I don't know.
- I've seen this before. - It's been in all the papers.
56 - Ed Walters, cold fusion. - No, I mean years ago, somewhere...
First I want to say, I lie you...
...I love you... I'm a liar.
There's been some things I haven't been completely honest about, and I would like the...
Just a minute, Catherine!
- Edward Walters? - Yes.
Quiet. Speak when you're spoken to, keep the answers short.
Edward, I want you to meet the President of the United States.
Ike... You're...
- You're President Eisenhower! - At least until the next election.
Some special occasion?
I'm expecting someone.
- A friend, Catherine. - Catherine Boyd?
- Albert Einstein's niece. - I have to tell her something.
Well, about this engine. When can we see a working prototype?
57 Prototype?
The Russians say they'll have one this year.
The President wants to announce we're building a prototype here.
- We have a press conference tonight. - Seven.
- We'd like to have something by... - Seven?
- And Eisenhower tells the good news! - There's good news?
- About the prototype. - Does Edward know this?
Sure, it was practically his idea. Come on, they're waiting for us.
Oh, my God!
Excuse me. Catherine Boyd?
I met your friend Edward. You must be very proud.
I have very strong feelings about him.
- We should leave the country. - Don't panic.
When, then? When they shoot us for treason?
- They don't shoot you for treason. - It's electrocution.
58 Ed! It's Ed!
- Where's Catherine? - With Eisenhower.
Back! Stay back, sir!
Catherine! Stop!
- Isn't that...? - Walters!
- Ed! - Catherine!
- Stop! - Congratulations, young lady.
I felt the same when I proposed to Mamie.
- Mr President, I think... - It's OK, stop the car.
- Is that Ed Walters? - Some kind of problem?
- Catherine... - Don't taIk to me, you Iiar, you fake...
- You found out. - How could you think I was that stupid?
- You're not stupid. How d'you find out? - I figured it out.
- I put two and two together... - The formula? That's fantastic!
59 - Stop it, you fake! Just kiss me! - What?
- Be right there, Ike. - Take your time.
The President thinks you're proposing, so kiss me. We're in a lot of trouble.
- I think it was worth it. - Looks like a ''yes'' to me.
- You...mechanic! - That's all I am to you, a mechanic.
Your name's really Ed? You work in a garage?
The garage where you fell in love with me, remember? That's true.
- That hurts! - One second!
For God's sake!
- You know what? - What?
You had to know. You're not dumb.
- Yes, I am! - You wanted to go along with it.
I think you needed to. You should be thanking me.
- Thanking you?! - Jesus!
60 Be right there, Ike!
You bit me!
Sorry, Ed. Sorry about that.
Listen, you're right. I've learned quite a bit from you.
I have a great brain, and I should trust that.
And it's not about what you do, it's about who you are.
I've learned that from you, so thank you.
- Fake! - Albert, what's going on?
Catherine has just found out that Edward is not really a scientist.
He is simply an automobile mechanic.
What does a mechanic know about cold fusion?
- Nothing. It's all a big lie. - April Fool's.
- We meant no harm. - Just foolish old men.
I was right about the cold fusion, wasn't I?
61 Do you realise you proved conclusively that my approach is impossible?
I knew that, but you said...
I meant that I could not prove it or disprove it, so I could not publish it.
- I did something you couldn't do? - It's mathematics.
- I was always terrible at mathematics. - Professor.
Ed Walters' atomic fueI theory.
An unpublished paper of Albert Einstein's, written years ago.
Gentlemen, they are identical.
In every respect, identical.
- You accuse Ed Walters of plagiarism? - Hardly.
I am accusing Ed Walters, and Professor Einstein, and his colleagues...
...of...... of outright fraud. CoId fusion is nothing more than a hoax.
Mr President!
If you wiII pIease bear with us, Professor Einstein has a statement.
Thank you, Mr President.
Ladies and gentIemen, Dr James MorIand is correct.
62 CoId fusion is a hoax.
A hoax so briIIiant, so daring, so secret,that not more than five peopIe on pIanet Earth know about it.
We caIIed it Operation Red Cabbage.
Now we can reveaI, through the efforts of Miss Boyd and Mr WaIters, two of the finest minds it has ever been my priviIege to know,we have proven the Russian cIaim to have Ieapt ahead in the space race with coId fusion is nothing but hot air.
PersonaIIy, I think any race of this nature, arms or space, is compIete fooIishness.
Thank you very much.
A master stroke, a triumph for the Institute.
Catherine, darIing! I said what I said in good faith.
- Albert! - That's not going to work this time.
Perhaps not. UnfortunateIy, this is the reaI thing.
PIease, I go to the hospitaI.
Boys, pIease. It's just a IittIe fIutter.
PIease, go out. See the comet.
Go get some girIs.
- WiII we get one for you?
63 - Ja, a redhead.
Stay, Edward. Goodbye, boys, thanks for coming.
See you aII shortIy... Up there.
It wiII be OK, in no time.
- I thought you said time doesn't exist. - I said anytime...
I aIways imagined heaven to be one enormous Iibrary,onIy you can't take out the books.
- I need something from my trousers. - I’ll get it.
It's in the Ieft-hand pocket. The Ieft hand.
- No, the other Ieft hand. - What am I Iooking for?
That's it, you've found it.
Bring it here, pIease.
My compass.
My memory is...... of my father, when I was five years oId.
I think I was sick in bed then, too. He gave me this compass.
When I first heId it in my hand, I was wonderstruck by what force, invisibIe and unfeIt, couId be hoIding the needIe.
64 Here, Edward, you take this.
So that you never Iose your way, and you keep your sense of wonder.
You both have good hearts.
Don't Iet your brain interfere with your heart.
- I'd Iove to taIk, Ed. - I never meant this to get so crazy.
If I've hurt you in any way, I'm very sorry.
For one brief moment there, I was taken seriousIy by some pretty...... extraordinary peopIe.
That's never happened to me before. It feIt great.
I just hope, at some point,that you can truIy beIieve how extraordinary you are.
I’ll miss you.
You mean if we hadn't interfered, they wouId have ended up together?
Everything affects everything.
- I beIieve everything wiII be fine. - Why?
65 I'd rather be an optimist and a fooI than a pessimist and right.
We're aII fooIs. We should've taken the eIevator.
Boys, pIease! You're going to wake up the nurses.
- Twenty-three degrees. - No, twenty-four...
- Twenty-two degrees down... - Twenty-three degrees...
- PIease, just do it! - Why?
A dying man's wish.
In time, but since time doesn't exist...
66 What do you see?
- I see the road to the observatory. - And?
- And Catherine. - And?
She is going towards Stargazer's FieId.
Wait a minute! That's where Edward went.
Boy, oh boy! If ever there was a time for an accident.
Sometimes, accidents need a IittIe heIp.
God does not pIay dice with the universe, but I wiII.
67 - What kind of a thing is this? - What is that?
This is a transmitter. Watch.
Wunderbar!
Oh, great!
- Push it down. - Push it down...
- I'm going to Iook at it. - PIease!
- Enough! I want her back in one piece! - What's happening?
Her motor has died. She's turning into Stargazer's FieId.
68 - I want to see. - No, no!
Let me see!
It just happened, just boom!
Boom!
Do you beIieve in accidents?
No.
This is so right. This is the way I wanted to see it.
Have you ever heard of the Seven Sacred PooIs?
In Hawaii?
69 - Are you aII right, Albert? - Ja, this is very good for my heart.
Oh, my God! Look!
Look!
Hi, Daddy! I missed you!
This is Ed, the man I Iove.
- Out of this worId! - Look, Albert.
What's happening?
Wahoo.
Wahoo.
70