Visual YIELD Sign

Ephesians 5:21- 6:9 “Submit!”

Visual – YIELD sign

We are nearing the conclusion of our series of sermons based on the book of Ephesians. I would like to read Ephesians 5:21 – 6:9

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

6 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. 6 Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. 7 Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. 8 Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free. 9 Masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Don’t threaten them; remember, you both have the same Master in heaven, and he has no favorites. Intro: I’ve entitled this sermon: “Submit!” The word itself is controversial. We often think this word “submit” is like something we would demand of a dog – “Submit. Heal. Sit. Rollover.”

In reference to a human being, when I say “submit” it almost makes you want to put on your boxing gloves. Some of you are probably already upset because I am preaching a sermon entitled “submit!” In our modern world, the word “submit” is a combative word. “I’m not gonna submit, you submit!”

Have you ever filled out any type of form on the internet? Upon completion you are often asked to push the “submit” button. That made me start to think – wouldn’t it be great to have my own “Submit button”.

It might go something like this…

Double take skit:

Scene 1 – Father and child. Dad - “son, time to do your homework.” / Kid - “but I’m only on level three, dad” (video game action) / Dad pushes “submit button” / Kid - “ok, father, I can play some other time” / dad lifts up button, points to it and smiles

Or maybe something like this… Scene 2 – Wife and Husband Wife - “Honey, can you take out the trash, it’s over flowing / Husband - “I’m watching the game” (drinks beer) / wife pushes button / Husband - “ok, dear, the game can wait, let me get that for you.” / wife lifts up button and smiles

A “Submit button” would also come in handy at work… Scene 3 – Office Boss – “Sarah, I’m gonna need you to stay an extra hour and complete this report.” / Worker – “But I have to pick up my kid from daycare and get them to their T-ball game by 6pm.” / Boss pushes the button / Worker – “but I guess missing one game won’t hurt them. I’ll make it work.” / Boss smiles and holds up button.

In fact, a “Submit button” is so easy, even a child can use it. Scene 4 – Two siblings Brother – “Hey, that’s my truck. I had it first.” / Sibling – “You put it down. It’s my turn.” / Brother pushes button / Sibling – “But since it’s yours, you can have it back.” / Brother smiles.

Narrator like: “So, tired of people not submitting to you? Wouldn’t you like to magically get your family to submit? Get yourself a “submit button” – designed for the man or woman (or child) who always wants their way. And now for a limited time – the “submit button” app is now available for your electronic device.”

Wouldn’t that be great. We would all like to have a “submit button” that we could use on other people. Because when it comes to submission, we want others to submit to us. When the wife isn’t complying -- Push “submit. When the husband isn’t towing the line – Push “submit.” When the children are talking back – push “submit.” Right?

But that is not reality, in fact, that is not at all what Biblical submission is about. So what is biblical submission? I believe the key to understanding this whole passage and the key to understanding the biblical meaning of submission and its role in relationships - is to get an understanding of this word “submit.” This is important in marriages, in relationships between children and their parents; between a subordinate and their employer, in fact, getting the proper meaning of this word “submit” will help us in all of our relationships.

The word translated as “submit” is the Greek word….

ὑποτάσσω Hypotassō (hü-po-tä's-sō)

This word has it’s origin in a Greek military setting - meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader". It was an understood chain of command.

But it was often used in a non-military setting, and it referred to "a voluntary attitude of giving up one’s rights, yielding to another, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying another’s burden".

Same word used in Jas 4:7 to submit to God Same word used in I P2 5:5 to submit to your elders Same word used in I Pe 2:13 to submit to the laws of man Same word used here in Eph 5:21 to submit to one another

Submission is not lording it over others, it is not something we force on or demand from other people to get our way. It’s actually just the opposite. It’s voluntarily putting yourself second to someone else. It’s not someone taking another’s rights away. It’s giving up your rights for another. It is a personal choice - it’s something we choose do.

One of the best synonyms’ for the word submit is the “yield.” I think one of the best illustrations for us to grasp the meaning of Biblical submission is the yield sign.

The Yield sign is very important to follow when driving. You may encounter a variety of Yield signs while out driving the streets or country roads. Pics of Yield Signs

But quite possibly the most important Yield sign to heed is when approaching a roundabout. Pic of Roundabout

You have traffic arriving form four or sometimes more directions to the same point. Disaster would most definitely occur if one did not yield to the right of way. In fact, the department of transportation estimates that installing a roundabout with its proper yielding pattern will actually lessen the number of accidents.

And so it is with life and the relationships we encounter. There are times in all our relationships that we meet at a junction – coming from different directions, different beliefs, different stances on a certain subject. And if there is no submission or yielding – conflict and perhaps even disaster will most definitely occur. This is true in any relationship. Marriages. Family. Work. Government. Group activities. Church. A submissive person isn’t fighting for his or her rights. It’s not a ‘get out of my way’ or ‘my way or the highway’ attitude. To choose to submit to someone is to choose to yield to their way. When you read the word “submit” in the Bible, try replacing it with the word “yield.”

We need to understand that submission does NOT mean being a doormat. It is not giving permission for a person to walk all over another person. Whether we are talking in the home between husband and wife or parents and children – or in the work place – submission is not an excuse for allowing improper behavior.

Being a husband, or being a parent, or being a boss does not give you the right to be oppressive, cantankerous, aggressive, pushy, self-willed, and difficult to get along with. Especially if you are a believer – these attitudes are not of God. The fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) apply to all people. So if you let someone walk all over you or treat you very cruelly, you are actually enabling them to live in contrast with Christ likeness.

Similarly, submission does NOT mean compromising on matters of truth or biblical principles. If someone is asking, or perhaps even demanding, you do something contrary to the ways of Christ, you are under no obligation to yield to ungodly ways.

What submission DOES mean is that we are all to follow the Lord Jesus who, although He was Lord and Teacher, laid aside His rights, took a towel and basin, and performed the lowly servant’s task of washing the disciples’ feet. Being submissive as Jesus was involves getting our focus off ourselves and onto pleasing God and serving others for His sake.

Let’s go back to our text in Ephesians 5 and see what Paul has to say about submitting or yielding to “one another” – which I will be referring to as “mutual submission”.

Mutual submission is especially necessary in the context of marriage. Since Paul addresses the wives first here in Ephesians 5, that’s the order we will follow. The chapter begins with a section that many men like to quote and many women like to rebel against. The problem is that most men quote it out of context and most women need to heed it in its proper context. “Wives submit to your husbands.”

Let’s be honest. What comes to your mind when you hear the word submission when referring to a wife submitting to her husband? Perhaps it’s something like this…

Video: Dick Van Dyke – Bad Old Days

That episode of the Dick Van Dyke show is one of my favorites. My wife hates it. That episode is actually entitled “the bad old days” - because “the good old days” weren’t exactly good for all parties.

Okay, Robert Petrie’s dream may be a bit exaggerated, but many of us actually have that kind of image in mind when we hear the word “submit”. Men want their wives to submit and women want their husbands to submit. So instead of mutual submission, it becomes a battle of who is going to submit. In your house it may be the woman who does most of the submitting. And then again, it may be the man. It’s the age-old question – “Who wears the pants?”

A few years ago a Russian newspaper reported a light-hearted poll of 100 Soviet households. In 90 of the homes, the wife described herself as the head of the family--and the husband agreed. In nine families the husband said he was boss, but the wife disagreed. The only husband whose wife named him as head of the family was told by the newspaper that he had won an award. When asked to select his prize, he turned to his wife and asked: “What shall I choose, Maria?”

I would like to see the results of a poll of American households. I would like to see the results of a poll of FCC households. In fact, I would like to see the results of a poll of my household. I think I know what the results would be. I think I know who wears the pants. But first I’d have to ask my wife where they are.

Now, it is significant that the Bible never says, “Husbands, make your wives submit to you.” That is not your responsibility, men! What God’s Word says to the wife - is her responsibility. An advice to husbands: Certain words should never be directed toward your wife… such as “I deserve respect. The Bible says you need to submit. I’m the head of this house – (snap) submit woman.” That is pushing the submit button. Remember, submission is not something a person forces upon others, is something a person chooses to do themselves.

So what do we do with this text that states a wife is to “submit” to her husband? We don’t want to use it out of context, but neither are we just to ignore it and say it was a cultural thing back in the ‘good old days.’

Let’s be clear that God’s Word is strongly against the world’s way of men dominating and suppressing women; but, also, let’s be clear that God’s Word is against the world’s way of denying any gender-based authority in the church and home. It is abundantly clear that the things Paul commands are not culturally determined. His commands about the roles of husband and wife are based on the relationship between Christ and his Bride - the church, which does not change. No matter what culture, no matter what time period.

Verse 24 – “As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands.” According to this verse, if we say that wives no longer have to submit/yield to their husbands – then we must also say that the church no longer has to submit/yield to Christ. The wife is to yield herself to her husband, as the Church yields to Christ. In the same way, Jesus, though equal in his deity, yielded himself to the Father’s plan – even death on a cross.

This is an important concept. A wife is to submit to her husband in the same way Jesus submitted to the Father. Jesus, a member of the Trinity, equal with God – did not cling to his state of equality, but surrendered it and humbled himself to take up the cross. He did it willingly. He did it without whining and complaining. There was no arguing and reluctant “giving in”. He was honest with his feelings but ultimately said - “your will be done. I trust you.” He was committed to pleasing and obeying God – no matter what. How could he do that? Because He was confident that the Father loved him – no matter what. It’s always easier to yield to someone if you are confident that they love you.

It is no accident, therefore, that Paul says to the husbands – 33 …each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Love and Respect are crucial parts of understanding how mutual submission works. You can discern how much a wife submits to her husband by how much respect she shows him. You can determine how much a husband submits to his wife by how much unconditional love he shows her. Perhaps you have noticed – the more the husband loves the wife, the more the wife will respect him and willingly yield. The more the woman respects and yields to her husband, the more he will react in a loving manner.

But in too many marriages, the man is focused on demanding a woman’s respect & submission … and the woman is focused on demanding that her husband loves her. This is futile. When the husband thinks, “well, I’m not going to love her if she can’t respect my leadership” – and when the wife thinks, “well, I’m not about to respect and submit to him if he doesn’t truly love me” – they are headed for the certain disaster. And a roundabout they go. Like a boxing match. Round one goes to the husband. Round two goes to the wife. And this continues until there is a knockout.

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, in his book Love and Respect, calls this the crazy cycle. “Without love, she reacts without respect and without respect, he reacts without love.”

Of course, submission is easier, wives, when your husband is loving and gentle, and when you agree with him. It’s not easy when he is not being godly or when you disagree with him. You should never obey your husband if it means disobeying a clear command of God. But even then, you can display a submissive attitude (“a gentle and quiet spirit,” 1 Pet. 3:4) and appeal to him out of love and respect.

And of course, husbands, submission is easier when your wife shows you honor and respect. But even if she doesn’t – remember that you are the God ordained leader of the family. And thus you need to lead out in the area of submission. Believe it or not, you have the harder part of this relationship. “Husbands, love your wives …how?… as Christ loved the Church.” And how did Christ love the Church, his bride? He sacrificed everything. He gave up everything, even his own life – so that his Bride could be glorified. As Christ gave Himself for the salvation of His bride, the Church, in the same way - husbands are to give themselves in love for their wives. If that isn’t the greatest act of submission, of yielding – then I don’t know what is.

This issue of authority and submission in marriage should rarely need to be discussed. A loving, sensitive husband will not force his wife to do anything against God’s will, and he will not push her into anything distasteful or harmful to her. He will never assert his authority to get his own way. His number one goal is to adore and elevate his wife. When there are disagreements, they should be worked through calmly in love. In making decisions, a wise husband will solicit and carefully weigh his wife’s insights, so that almost all decisions will be mutually agreed on. That is why we call it “mutual submission”. Submitting to one another.

This balance between leadership and submission, between love and respect – is contrary to our world today. The world operates on the principle of self. In a worldly marriage, each partner is in an ongoing struggle of power and manipulation to seek to get his or her way. Often they wound each other in the struggle and end up divorcing because their selfish needs aren’t being met. A Christian couple should be different. I am not saying that a Christian marriage does not have problems or conflicts. Of course it does. The difference should be in how we handle them. The world ought to look at the way a Christian couple relates to one another, recognize the unique beauty of this kind of marriage, and say, “That’s the kind of marriage I want.”

Now I realize that there are many in this room that are not married. If that’s you, I appreciate your patience as we’ve talked a lot about the importance of marital mutual submission. But I hope you have caught how these principles apply to every relationship, every position of authority and that we all are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Husbands and wives are to submit to one another with love and respect. In similar fashion, children submit to your parents by honoring and respecting them – not whining and complaining, not disobeying or manipulating. And parents - demonstrate a mutual submission to your children by treating them in a loving and kind manner. Not demeaning or getting angry. Not lording over them in a demanding or abusive way. What kind of family are you? The world ought to look at the way a Christian family relates to one another, recognize the unique family dynamic, and say, “That’s the kind of family I want.”

We don’t exactly have a master and slave system in America, but all of us here are in a situation where someone is in authority over you. How do you treat your boss, or the local law, or your teacher, or the government, or the speed limit. (Oh did I say that?). How do you treat those in authority over you? Do you have a submissive and yielding spirit? Do you show them honor and deep respect – serving them sincerely as you would serve Christ? Do you work with enthusiasm as though you were working for the Lord? What kind of Christian are you in the work place? The world ought to look at the way a Christian relates to those in authority, recognize the unique servant attitude, and say, “That’s the kind of person I want to be.”

Bosses, managers, supervisors, elders, teachers, superiors – all you in authority – what type of leader are you? How do you treat those under you? Or are you cruel, even brutal? Are you egocentric or self-serving? Or do you demonstrate mutual submission by treating them with love and respect?

The things I’ve spoken on today run cross-grain not only to the attitudes of our culture, but often to the attitudes of those in the church. There are some of you who have most certainly squirmed in your chair during some part of this sermon. If that is you, that may very well be your conscience convicting you. If God’s Spirit has convicted you as a husband or a wife, as parent or a child, as a subordinate or a superior - His remedy is confession, both to God and to the one you’ve wronged. Don’t beat yourself up about it – God forgives. You can’t change the past – but praise the Lord, God allows U-turns! We call that repentance. But also, if the Spirit if he is prompting you to surrender, to yield - don’t ignore Him.

We’ve talked a lot about relationships this morning. The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with Christ. He has done his part. He has demonstrated his unconditional love for you – even to the point of going to the cross for your sins. Your part of this relationship is submission – yielding to His plan for your life.

In a moment we are going to share in the Lord’s Supper. We do this every week at FCC. Taking time to remember and give thanks for our Lord Jesus Christ dying on the cross for our sins. We take the bread – which represents his body – broken on the cross. We drink the cup – which represents his blood shed to take away our sins. But let me remind you of…

Matt. 5:23-24 – “if you bring your gift to the altar (if you are taking communion, if you are worshipping) and then remember that you have done something against another – leave your gift there in front of the altar (stop what you are doing). Go and be reconciled to that person and then come and present your gift.”

This morning as music is being played, use this time to get right with God and if necessary, with people. If you feel you need to confess anything before you share in the Lord’s Supper, take this time to come and kneel – confess, repent, and if necessary, make amends. Then you can partake of the Lord’s Supper with a clear conscience.

If you are a believer and follower of Jesus, we invite to join us. We partake of the bread and the cup individually as they are passed. We will follow that time of communion with an offering. In giving our tithe back to God we are thanking him for all the blessings that he has given us. If you are visiting with us, we expect nothing from you, please be our guest and simply pass the tray.

The offering will be followed by a time of Worship, as we offer our praise up to God.