Twas the Night Before Graduation

Remarks by Peter Phillips-Minet Columbia Business School MBA Recognition Ceremony Madison Square Garden, New York March 14 th , 2006

It is a tribute to the internationalism of Columbia Business School that someone who sounds like I do has the honour of giving this address. That said, I suppose one could argue that, after some initial difficulties, the United States and the United Kingdom share a long tradition of cooperation and friendship.

There is perhaps no better example of this tradition than the diplomacy that took place in Bretton Woods, New Hampshire, as the Second World War was drawing to a close, when the two countries almost single-handedly designed the institutional landscape of the postwar economic order – creating the organizations we know today as the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank. As you might well imagine, the tone at those meetings was entirely one of decorum and mutual respect. Take for example this little verse, written on a yellowing piece of paper left over from the negotiations:

“In Washington Lord Halifax Once whispered to Lord Keynes: It’s true they have the money bags, But we have all the brains.”

A great gulf of years now separates us from this mischievous scrap of paper and from the American and British negotiators, half of whom, at least, it presumably delighted. But it still holds a great deal of relevance for what I want to talk about today.

First, we clearly no longer live in a world of drawing room diplomacy, in which two, or even a few, powerful countries can dictate terms to everyone else. This certainly has important implications for all of us as newly-minted MBAs entering the global marketplace. Second, today’s world cries out more than ever for the kind of courage and vision as well as the ‘spirit of internationalism’ that inspired the architects at Bretton Woods. And third, even on the most important of occasions and among the closest of friends, human relations are inherently suffused with a competitive edge; in the case of our negotiators a healthy competition of ideas - and perhaps a modicum of envy.

Today we must hope that Columbia Business School has helped to equip us all to face the challenges of this brave and complex new world. We must have the humility and flexibility to go on learning and evolving as the world continues to change around us. We must have the vision to find new and better ways of doing things; to build businesses that contribute valuable goods and services to the local economies around us, and to our shared global economy. And we must demonstrate the courage and character to do the right thing on the occasions when this doesn’t coincide with the easy thing, recognizing that, when it comes to integrity, our enlightened self-interest is ultimately analogous to our shared common interest. Finally, healthy competition is certainly good for business, and we should definitely compete to win. But especially when the stakes are high, we must beware of unhealthy, corrosive conflict, and remember not to take ourselves overly seriously, nor lose sight of the bigger picture. “For in the final analysis,” as John F. Kennedy observed, “we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children’s futures, and we are all mortal.”

Life is but a fleeting gift. What is it worth without enjoyment, humor, and occasional poetry? In that spirit:

T’was the night before graduation So many thoughts in my head; Sadness, elation - So what can be said?

Seems we just had orientation, A whirlwind of fun And so much information About all that could be done.

We felt like young princes Who would soon be kings (Except for the ladies Who felt feminine things).

Two years to explore, Hang out and discover, Such outstanding new people - Perhaps even a lover.

“Wow! This is fantastic, Too good to be true, An expensive vacation, But what can you do?”

Early days in our homerooms, Meeting our clusters, Recounting our stories, The very best we could muster.

A designer, a dancer Four consultants, a jock, A writer, several bankers And brokers of stock.

“I worked for the Peace Corps!” “I launched a new brand!” “I pitched for the Astros!” “I played lead in a band!” Such astounding achievements, Such incredible flair, It left me to ponder Just how I’d got there.

Next came the clubs; A bewildering array Of everything imaginable For the discerning MBA.

Soon followed elections And we endeavored to get The votes of the classmates We’d only just met.

Then reality struck Like a bolt from the blue: We were hit with Statistics And Financial Accounting, too.

Debits and credits, Covariance, μ, Correlation, net income - And so much of it to do.

Before long it was clear Our degrees of freedom were lost To the lumberjack Clarkson And marginal cost.

An avalanche of assignments And to make matters worse, Four brilliant A-types to work with - A quite unbearable curse!

In those early days I developed - I’m not ashamed to admit - My own confidence interval: I’d never felt such a twit.

Yet one class was different; Our most prized possession: The Thursday night workshops In Applied Regression.

Disco lights in the deli, Cheap beer on the floor, DJ Joe playing Bon Jovi, Talent-less dancing galore.

This caught on so well That we didn’t stop there; Soon beer pong and poker Became standard fare.

A gossip column emerged To rival any I’d seen; Top ten lists for both genders Scoops mundane to obscene.

For most men at b-school It soon became clear The art of courtship eludes us And should be taught here.

Despite all of our talents Just this one skill we lack, But the sheer extent of our weakness Took the ladies aback:

“Thought I’d meet a guy when I came here But my logic proved flawed: It’s true the odds are good, But the goods are so odd.”

Lest we lose focus On the reason we’d come, The next thing that awoke us Was the resumé drum.

Our latest tormentors, The Office of Career, Seemed concerned with our leaving; “But we just got here!”

So we toiled and we troubled And learned to our dismay The GMAT score we’d been proud of Was only okay.

Corporate events Then gave us the chance To engage on a daily basis In a soul-destroying dance. With Pepsi on Monday, On Tuesday with Chase, The networking was shameless, The brown-nosing a disgrace.

And the emails kept coming, And coming and coming, And coming and coming, It was truly mind-numbing.

Speakers and pizza, Pizza and beer, Did I mention the pizza? It’s quite popular here.

The pace never relented; No matter how hard I tried, I could never escape From the Upper West Side.

Then finally the home straight As Eskimo Pie arrived, Then Follies and finals Wow! We’d survived.

Looking back now That semester was golden, An experience designed To inspire and embolden.

Though our bonds with each other Would continue to grow Through the next installments Of the CBS show

And so many more highlights Intrigue and invention, Boondoggles to everywhere, Far too many to mention,

But from then on things were different, Time started to fly, Until this morning I woke up And two years had gone by.

I appreciate your patience With all my rhyme, I’d love to go on Alas! We haven’t the time.

But I’d be failing my duty, Not playing my part, If I didn’t leave you With a few words from the heart.

And so I humbly request Your permission to close By switching from poetry Back into prose.

I’d like to conclude with some thoughts about what the Columbia MBA experience has meant to me. On the surface, it has been an academic learning experience of great power and depth. Without any doubt, I now feel far better equipped to understand, interpret and participate in the world. For this I am grateful to the many professors whose dedication, skill, enthusiasm and patience have managed to penetrate the thick fog of confusion I felt on arrival and made a profound and lasting impact on my thinking on such a wide range of issues. The true gift of education is the transfer of the ‘source code’ to the beneficiary. In other words, it is sustainable, like teaching a person to fish, as opposed to giving them food. Let us hope we all enjoy fruitful fishing in the years to come.

The MBA has also been an intensely social experience. The opportunity to associate with, and learn alongside, a group of highly intelligent, motivated and accomplished colleagues from almost every conceivable walk of life and to do so free from many of the inevitable political realties of the work environment, has been a unique and extraordinary privilege. I feel very fortunate to have shared this special time with all of you – students, staff and faculty - and built relationships which I am confident will survive the tests of time and distance. And I am grateful for the fun we have had, because when we enjoy our experiences their impact is deeper and longer lasting. Lastly, I feel a responsibility toward each of you as a fellow custodian of the brand. Like it or not, we will always be the Columbia Business School MBA Class of 2006 – de facto the ultimate “best class ever.” And the first full class under Dean’s Hubbard’s ‘watchful’ eye.

For me, the MBA also provided time for a period of reflection and profound personal growth. A wise man once observed that “while you can always count the seeds in an apple, you can never count the apples in a seed.” During my time at Columbia, I learned to stop worrying so much about the “apple” – the deficiencies I could see in my present life situation - and seek instead to concentrate on cultivating the seeds inside my core. In such a complex and competitive world it is easy to become dissatisfied with one’s lot, anxious about one’s future and insecure about one’s ability to fulfill one’s ‘potential’, which has often been defined by others. It is tempting to point the finger of blame, or bewail external circumstances and spend a good portion of one’s time compulsively worrying about the past or anticipating the future. At least this was an accurate description of your speaker some time ago. A seminal part of my of personal journey this past year was spending time with my eighteen-year old cousin Taylor, who in New York this February died before my eyes after a life-long illness. Taylor was intellectually very limited, and as such he didn’t have any ‘ego’, just pure spirit. Because of the way he was in spite of his limitations and the lifetime of treatment he had to endure, Taylor taught me that everything of true human value – courage, innocence, compassion, humility and unconditional love - comes from beyond the mind, from within each of our cores. It follows that true fulfillment in life comes only from within, not from external accomplishments. ‘Even if you win the rat race, you’re still a rat.’

This may seem like a somewhat strange way to conclude a speech at an MBA Recognition Ceremony. I am certainly not arguing that we all down tools to join the Dalai Llama. Many of us will go on to seek power, fame and fortune, and rightly so. My point is that the people who ultimately succeed in this world are the ones who seek out the circumstances they want and if they can’t find them, they make them - inside. In other words they create their own meaning and purpose. I think this is an incredibly empowering insight, although capturing its value demands tremendous discipline and dedication. But I think it especially opportune to ponder at this juncture in our lives, for in the words of Winston Churchill: “This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

I thank you for all the many gifts you have bestowed upon me these last nineteen months and for the great privilege of letting me share these thoughts with you this evening. Good luck!