Where Did You Get That Idea and Is It True? (Example of Patient)

Where did you get that idea and is it true? (example of patient)

This patient’s son has been out of a rehab facility for drug use and has been clean for 3 months. This is the longest he has been clean.

P: I’m afraid my son is going to relapse again. C: Where did you get that idea? P: Well, he’s done it before? C: Is it true that he will do it again? P: I don’t know. C: What happens when you believe that thought? P: I get very anxious. C: How do you think you would feel without that thought? P: Laughs. I’d probably feel calm but then that would make me anxious? C; How does feeling calm make you feel anxious? P: because it means I’d start being too passive and not paying enough attention to what’s going on with him? Cl Where did you get that idea? P: What do you mean? C: Well where did you get the idea that if you’re calm it means you’re passive. P: I don’t know. I’ve just believed it. C; Is it true? Can you be calm and still be attentive? P: I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it like that. I just think that I should be able to save him? C: Where did you get that idea? P: Because that’s what mothers do. It’s my job. C; Is that true? P; Yes. Absolutely. C; So any mother who can’t save her children from drugs is a complete failure? P: Well, no, not when you say it like that. C; So I’m wondering how comes there’s a set of rules for other mothers and a different set of rules for you? P: Oh I get that from my mother. She expected perfection. C: Is there such a thing? P: I don’t know. C: Was your mother perfect? (laughs). I think you know the answer to that one. C; Yes, I do but do you? So tell me who do you know is perfect? P: no one. So I guess there is no such thing as being perfect. C: YAY! We found a not true answer. So, I’m wondering what made you choose the thought that your son was probably going to relapse? P: Well I didn’t choose it. C: So who did? P: Well, my mind did. C: So, is it absolutely true that your son will relapse because your mind told you so? P: Well, no. I guess not. It’s just a fear that I have.Wow this is really interesting. So I’ve got to pay attention to what I’m thinking? C: You don’t have to, but if you want to feel better and be less afraid, it will help. So, what thoughts could you have that would make you feel better? P: Well, that he’s doing better right now. He hasn’t relapsed in 3 months which is good. He’s got a part time job. C Anything else? P: Well, if he does relapse I’ll be there for him. C: Beautiful. And are these thoughts true? P: yes. C; So this is the real story of what’s going on right now. P: yes….and I want to tell you something… I feel better.

WE ALL FEEL BETTER WHEN WE START QUESTIONING WHAT OUR MIND IS TELLING US.

1) One of the things that we do all the time that create drama is to make assumptions about what people are thinking and feeling, especially what they are thinking and feeling about us. And you know what they say about assumptions. 2) The problem comes when we automatically believe those assumptions. 3) So when we make up our mind about someone or something we need to ask: where did I get that idea and is it true? 9x’s out of 10 you will see that you don’t know if it’s true …so why create the drama that comes from believing it.