Roots and Wings

ROOTS AND WINGS FOURTH GRADE LESSON TWO Rev 10-04 I. Review A. Ask students to take out their R&W folders and put on their nametags. B. Remind students that last time you were together, they: 1. Learned the ground rules they would be following in their Roots and Wings lessons. 2. Reviewed previous lessons. 3. Remind them of what they listed on the board during the last lesson.

II. Overview C. Tell students that by the end of 4th grade, they should have a good understanding of what assertiveness is and how to communicate their needs effectively. D. Tell students that today’s lesson will focus on reviewing the 3 types of communicators – assertive, aggressive and passive. Tell them that you hope they will be able to define assertiveness by the end of the lesson.

III. Program E. Review the 3 types of communicators: The Aggressive (Bully), The Passive, and The Assertive Communicator. Students should be familiar with these terms from their third grade Roots and Wings lessons. 1. Hand out definitions of Assertive, Aggressive and Passive. Ask a student to read aloud and discuss examples of each. 2. Focus on assertiveness and use the example of Martin Luther King Jr. as an assertive person. Dr. King was a PeaceBuilder. He noticed the hurt that racism caused, and he did something to right this wrong.  He could have taken the passive route and quietly allowed racism to go on.  He could have also taken the aggressive (violent) approach that others in his day took like the Black Panthers.  Instead, Dr. King politely, but very firmly stated his beliefs. He hurt no one, yet he had a huge impact on how Americans viewed racism. F. Hand out bookmarks (Optional: wait until Martin Luther King day/week to hand out bookmarks.).

IV. Evaluation G. Role Play: Pick 3 students from the class. Give them each one of the 3 cards that have the 3 types of communicators on them. Tell them that you will read a situation to them, and that you want them to react to this situation the way the type of communicator on their card would. Have the rest of the class guess which type they are portraying and give feedback as to other ways that students could have responded assertively. H. Repeat this several times with several different groups of 3 so that more students have a chance to participate. SITUATIONS : Situation #1: You are standing in line at the movie theatre and someone cuts in front of you. You are not sure if they saw you. Situation #2: You are on the playground and someone will not let you participate in a game. Situation #3: You are rollerblading on the sidewalk in front of your house. A neighbor kid comes over and pushes your younger sister off her bicycle. Situation #4: You go out to eat at a restaurant and order a cheeseburger. The cheeseburger is cold. Situation #5: Your parents have asked the kids next door to stay out of the flowerbed, and the kids are running through it again.

OPTIONAL: If there is time, you can have students think of situations and discuss to handle it assertively.

V. Summary Thank the students. Tell them that you “have a dream” that each child will become a more assertive person by the end of 4th grade.

Lesson Purpose To review the 3 types of communicators, to teach the children what it means to be assertive. To use bookmarks as a visual cue to remind the children of the meaning of assertiveness.

Objectives:

1. The students will be able to list the three types of communicators. 2. The students will learn the definition of assertive. 3. The students will learn the difference between being assertive, aggressive, and passive. 4. The students will see Martin Luther King Jr. as an example of an assertive person.

PF Lesson Prep

 Make copies of the definition of Passive, Aggressive, Assertive  Pick up the visual cue (bookmark, etc).  Optional: Bring in a picture of Martin Luther King Jr.

Lesson Material Required

1. Aggressive, Passive, and Assertive Role Play Cards 2. Student copies of Passive, Aggressive, Assertive definition sheet. 3. Visual cue (bookmark) 4. Optional: Picture of Martin Luther King Jr. Instructions: cut each communication style out and paste onto an index card.

AGGRESSIVE (BULLY)

 Speak with a loud and harsh voice to stand up for rights, thoughts, feelings and beliefs.  Be disrespectful of the other person’s rights.  Refuse to compromise.  Body Language: Angry, staring eye contact, invade personal body space, use aggressive gestures like pointing your finger at the other person, and stand with a stiff, clenched up posture.

PASSIVE

 Either not say what you feel and want, or say it in a very soft, meek and apologetic way so it doesn’t look like you really mean it.  Be respectful of the other person’s rights, BUT disregard your own rights.  Body Language: No eye contact, use nervous gestures and stand with head hanging, and with a slumped posture.

ASSERTIVE

 Speak calmly and stand up for personal rights, say what your thoughts are, what you are feeling and what you believe.  Be respectful of the other person’s rights.  Be open to compromise.  Body Language: Direct, but non-threatening eye contact, respect personal body space, and stand with an erect, but relaxed posture. Definitions: Passive, Aggressive, Assertive

PASSIVE:  Violates one’s own rights by failing to express honest feelings, thoughts, and beliefs and consequently permitting others to violate oneself or the expressing of one’s own thoughts and feelings in such an apologetic, meek manner that others can easily disregard them.

 The basic message of a passive communicator: “My feelings don’t matter – only yours do. My thoughts aren’t important – yours are the only ones worth listening to. I’m nothing – you’re superior”.

 The goal of passive communication is to appease others and to avoid conflict at any cost.

 Body Language: No eye contact, soft, whiny or muffled voice, cringing/or physically making yourself seem small (hang-dog posture), use of nervous or childish gestures.

AGGRESSIVE:  Stands up for personal rights and expresses thoughts, feelings and beliefs in a way that is often dishonest, usually inappropriate, and always violates the rights of others.

 The basic message of an aggressive communicator: “This is what I think – you’re stupid for believing differently. This is what I want – what you want is not important. This is what I feel – your feelings don’t count”.

 The goal of aggressive communication is domination, and winning, forcing the other person to lose. Winning is ensured by humiliating, degrading, belittling, or overpowering other people so that they become weaker or less able to express and defend their needs and rights.

 Body Language: Invasive/angry staring – eye contact, loud voice, invasion of personal body space, use of aggressive gestures (pointing finger), stiff, “muscled up” posture, towering over others.

ASSERTIVE:  Stands up for personal rights and expresses thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways that do not violate another person’s rights.

 The basic message of an assertive communicator: “This is what I think. This is what I feel. This is how I see the situation”.

 The goal of assertive communication is to get and give respect, to ask for fair play, and to leave room for compromise when the rights and needs of two people conflict.  Body Language: Direct, but non-threatening eye contact, calm voice, respectful of personal body space, use of illustrative gestures, and an erect, but relaxed posture.