Meeting Time: 9.15 am for 9.45 am – 11.45 am on the 2nd Tuesday each Month. Venue: Ravenswood Hotel, WA, 6208 Telephone number: 9537 6054 President: Daryl Makin 9537 8310 Vice President: Sandy Bartle 9537 7775 Immediate Past President: Lorraine Hume 9537 8070 (and Inter Club Activities & Liaison) Secretary: Shirley Boyd 9537 7066 Treasurer: Lloyd Bevis 9537 7419 Membership & Welfare: Elaine Aylmore 9537 8327 Programmes: Neil Fitch 9531 2161 Assets & Property: Tom Hoffman 9537 6526 Activities: Elizabeth Ford 9537 6979 Club Historian: Tom Hoffman 9537 6526 Auditor: Brian Sydney-Smith 9537 8847 Newsletter Editor: Penny Hoffman 9537 6526 or e-mail to [email protected] Web site: www.murrayprobus.org REPORT OF THE MEETING on Tuesday 12th September, 2006 51 members in attendance; 12 apologies; 7 had leave of absence; one was reported as unwell. No visitors . President Daryl Makin welcomed members who had recently returned from their winter travels and Don and Margaret Glass who were to be inducted as new members to the Club. Prior to their induction, Roger Boyd introduced Don and Margaret to the members as long-standing and valuable members of the Murray District. Though born in Northam and Cue respectively, they have lived in the Pinjarra area for 46 years. Don, a respected member of the Police Force, has been well known for his sporting achievements and more recently for his contribution to the community through activities such as Rotary. Margaret has managed her own clothing store, has held secretarial positions in schools in Pinjarra and has been personal secretary to two local MP’s. In their retirement we welcome them to the combined Probus Club of Murray District. Inward correspondence, read by Secretary Shirley Boyd, brought thanks from the members of Safety Bay Probus who attended our August meeting. It also, regrettably, brought resignations from 5 of our members – and the following warning from Probus WA. Probus committees and members may not pass on Probus Association Directories or addresses of members to anyone who is not a member of a Probus Club. A member of the public who would like to visit Probus clubs as a speaker appears to have been given or has found an out-of-date Directory. He has written to several clubs with a complimentary copy of his book, suggesting that they invite him to speak at their meetings. Committee members presented their reports, details of which will be found in this newsletter. Speaking on behalf of the SW Get-together committee, Lorraine Hume especially thanked Val Green for so ably guiding the committee during Lorraine’s leave of absence. Tom Hoffman encouraged members to visit the Club’s web-site and give feedback. In closing the meeting, President Daryl noted that our visitors in October will be the inaugural President and Secretary of the new combined Mandurah Probus Club, with their wives. Guest Speaker – was Rev. Lesley de Grussa-Macaulay. Her subject: ‘Peeling Away the Mask’ Lesley de Grussa-Macaulay, minister to the Mandurah and South Mandurah Uniting Churches, spoke inspirationally about the challenges she has confronted throughout her own life and the energy she is now expending in the challenges confronting us all in the Peel Region. The 2001 document ‘Peel Away the Mask’ already described the Peel Region as ‘popular’ but ‘fragile’ and Lesley left us in no doubt that this description was even more valid today. Using the title of this document as her topic, Lesley spoke of the many masks she has peeled away throughout her life beginning as a confused fostered child in a wheat-belt town where she found solace in the Methodist Church and married a local farmer whose dream was to be a doctor. The years that followed included 4 children (1 fostered), 2 marriages, a degree in theology and work that educated her in the needs of aboriginal communities, children in detention centres, psychiatric illness in the community (through the Rainbow Project), the prison system – and now Mandurah. Her vision of Mandurah had been one of a comfortable, relaxed and tranquil lifestyle. That most recent mask was peeled away as she became dismayed at the poverty in a region already densely populated and ready to double its population by 2025. Her Church’s outreach is to the women in refuge, abused children and homeless young people. Youth Care raises funds for chaplaincy in the neediest schools. The Rainbow Project now operates in Mandurah, Finucare assists those needing financial advice, 1500 hampers were distributed to needy families in Mandurah last Christmas and a single intra-agency data-base counters ‘working the system.’ Mandurah intra-agencies meet weekly, encouraged by fraternity and inspired by the need for humanity in the community. In thanking Lesley, David Smeeton summed up the feeling of those gathered at Ravenswood that day – as Lesley peeled away the mask, we surely had been jerked out of our comfort zone. The Newsletter is private and confidential for Probus use only and not to be used for any other purpose

1. EDITORIAL: “Spring is sprung, the sun is riz; I know where the birdies is. They’re building nests in all the trees, preparing for maternities” It has been said that the world’s favourite season is the Spring – that all things seem possible in September. American author Ruth Stout writes: I love spring anywhere, but if I could choose I would always greet it in a garden. As I write this I am looking out at a blue sky and multiple colours in our garden. The Hoffman garden is definitely a Spring garden – it does tend to fade into various shades of green in the summer – and maybe that is because we have chosen a variety of native spring-flowering plants. Only the kangaroo paws seem to hold back and they give us great pleasure around November. Our local water birds are nesting – they are more territorial than ever. The resident magpies have completed their nest in the native wisteria tree. This is a happy month, a time of growth and renewal. Enjoy. Penny Hoffman FORTHCOMING EVENTS Monday Visit to Subiaco Combined Probus Club 9th October 12 members have indicated they will be attending this meeting. The mode of transport will be by car and members going should confer as to car pooling. It is recommended that they arrive by 9.30 a.m. to socialise before the start of the meeting at 10 a.m. The speaker at the meeting will be Phillip Playford who will speak about the discovery, off the Carnarvon coast, of THE GOLDEN DRAGON. Thursday South West Get-together at Redcliffe Barn, Murray River Country Estate 16th November The members of the South West Get-together Committee have worked hard to ensure this will be a memorable day for all attendees. Remember, we will be hosting many visitors from the Probus Clubs of the South West and it is hoped that a large number of our own members will attend. Lorraine Hume has requested payment of your $25 at our October meeting – a very reasonable cost that includes a day of fun with a delicious BBQ lunch and all-day refreshments. Friday Caravan Getaway – Stirling Range Retreat (Stirling Range National Park) 17th November Cost: Powered site 2 people.: $24 - $26 per night to Cabins $59 2 people : extra person, $10 per night (cabins self-contained) Monday Sites and cabins have been reserved so if you are interested contact Bob Gordon on 20th November 95376595. (6-8 couples have already expressed interest). Lots of places of interest to visit & explore including Albany, Mt Barker, Wineries etc. Monday Christmas Dinner at Silver Sands Tavern 4th December The cost will be dependent on the number attending but is approximately $37 per head. The price includes the meal with suitable music for background and for dancing. It also includes a bus – enough for 57 people to and from the Tavern. Indicate your interest at the October meeting and please let Elizabeth Ford know if you want to be included in the bus. Many of you may not know that although friends can only attend a maximum of two meetings, they may come to as many outings as they wish, bearing in mind that members take precedence. E.F. Our best wishes to members who will be attending the Probus Rendezvous in Tasmania Visit to Swan Brewery at Canning Vale and Samson House in Fremantle – a trip enjoyed by all those who participated. Elizabeth reports that the day was not without its hiccups. Not surprising when you remember where they spent the first 3 hours! A full report of the day – by Roger Boyd – can be read on page 3 of this newsletter. Thank you Elizabeth for planning such a happy day – and thank you George for finding Tom! Participants in the above outing also participated in Elizabeth’s quiz on the bus. With 12 correct answers, Lloyd and Ann Bevis were declared the winners. Jennie and Neil Fitch and Val and Peter Green were just one point behind. Some of the not so correct answers were as follows: Qu. Australian Ruth Cracknell wrote her memoirs titled Journey from where? Ans. Anywhere; Hell (there were 5 of those); Nowhere; The heart. Correct Answer: Venice Qu. Which seat did Pauline Hanson win in the 1996 elections Ans. Near her fish and chip shop Qu. Who top scored for New Zealand against Australia in the 3rd Test in 2001 Ans. The man in glasses

1. ROGER’S REPORT OF THE SWAN BREWERY OUTING – taken with a sip of ale! I’sh was a Faboous day on wedsday, or was it thurshday. At leash I think it was or so they tell me!! Of course we only went to the brewery to enlist as tasters, and David Smeeton even offered to pay to become enrolled on the staff as a taster. When we were told that the Swan Brewery produced 14 different brands, we realised it was going to be hard work and not your usual Probus outing. Our first introduction to the site was to have identity tags pinned to our coats with an electronic bug in them. They told us that was to know where our bodies were if we didn’t get out in an emergency. George “the fireman” told them that in case of a fire they would find him swimming in one of the fermentation tanks of beer. We sat down thinking that we were about to be served pies and beer as promised, but found that was provided later to resuscitate us. Everything was backwards as we started our tour of the $300m brewery observing the finished product in many of the 80000 kegs that the organization owns. We tried to count the stream of cans whizzing by on the conveyor belts as they were cleaned, filled, capped, inspected, and packaged into cartons at a rate of tens of thousands an hour. Two of the ladies finished with crossed eyes and migraine. Following the cartons, we arrived at the warehouse to learn that at any one time, there are 300000 cartons in store with a total capacity of 970000. The turnover clears the store in two weeks as beer should be consumed within 3 months. It was surprising to recognize strange foreign brands amongst the more common Aussie names, until we were reminded that the Swan Brewery is not a WA icon now, but is a small part of the Lion Nathan empire which has international wineries as well as breweries. They even have a licence to produce some competitor’s brands. It then hit us that in this vast building we finally glimpsed a human. Yes, the original brewery with 3000 employees now functions with just a 140 workforce. They must go crazy watching those cans zip by, trying to detect a “dud”, but No, they are multi skilled and rotate every day or so to more stimulating areas. The employees are treated very well with good pay, a beer allowance of two cartons a month and can take bonuses and salary sacrifice in the form of company shares. The site extends over 34 hectares and has a golf course, tennis courts etc. Now we entered the complex area with laboratories for quality control, and then onto the grinding, mixing and heating kettles before the brew enters rows of 25 metre high 400000 to 700000 litre fermentation tanks where the beer remains bubbling away for 6 to 12 days depending on the product. This is very energy productive and the tanks have to be refrigerated to keep the optimal fermentation temperature. Carbon dioxide emitted can rise to lethal 5% levels and workers in this area carry gas detection monitors. After 75 minutes of non stop statistics, (hops comes from Tasmania, yeast from Scandinavia, sugar from Q’land, barley from WA etc etc) some members were flagging (or was it the gas), and we retired to the bar for those pies and sampling – calamity – the gas to the bar taps was off, so it was coffee until the flow was established. After lunch on the “cappuccino strip” we visited Samson house. (minus Tom Hoffman – temporarily - who failed to observe the time and missed the coach). This heritage home was built in 1889 for Michael Samson who was Mayor of Fremantle for 21 consecutive years. As his family increased, additions were added 1898-1900. The original furniture adorns the rooms along with the family crystal and silver. The family finally donated the house to the Fremantle Museum who restored and maintain it as a tourist attraction and a prime example of the grandeur of earlier times. Roger Boyd A VISIT TO MILL POINT LADIES PROBUS CLUB On Monday 4th September Penny Hoffman and I accepted the invitation from Mill Point Ladies Probus Club to attend their "Mix & Mingle" luncheon. This event is held annually by Mill Point Ladies and this year was the 19th and most successful yet. Representatives of 30 Probus clubs totalling 100 guests attended. The official guest list included Mr. Keith Waghorn of Probus South Pacific, Mr. Geoff Saw of Rotary District 9470 and Probus W.A. President Lois Brown. On arrival we were greeted by the ladies committee members, assigned a table for lunch and offered a complimentary drink. Penny and I were seated at different tables which gave us the opportunity to "Mix and Mingle" with members of various other clubs. Mrs. Margaret Limb, President of Mill Point Ladies welcomed everyone and called on one of her members to say the Grace, after which we enjoyed a very nice lunch. Keith Waghorn gave a short address on the 5 year strategic plan being developed by Probus South Pacific, and the hope of extending to the Philippines and Fiji. He also told us that Probus W.A. was the strongest association of Probus clubs in Australia. Mill Point Ladies Probus Club is very fortunate to be able to hold its meetings and functions in the very elegant dining room of Royal Perth Golf Club and we felt privileged to join them for their special day. Maureen Hayes A Bunch (or should it be Clutch) of Puns:  Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.  Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness? There are nomad people there.  I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way  Show me where Stalin's buried and I'll show you a communist plot.  When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.  A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"  Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in ‘ere."

1. BIRTHDAY FORTHCOMING WELFARE CONGRATULATIONS for the month of SEPTEMBER Host and hostess for the October meeting will be Best get-well wishes to [clearly the result of great John and Patti Wittmer Maureen Hayward celebrations at Christmas / New who was reported as unwell at our Year in the 1930’s / 40’s] The next meeting of the management September meeting committee will be th Lloyd Bevis Monday September 25 at 1.00 p.m. Shirley Boyd at the home of Maureen Hayward Shirley Boyd REMINDER: Penny Hoffman 12 Wills Way, South Yunderup RED CROSS NEEDS YOUR Tom Hoffman BLOOD Annette Jamvold The speaker Gaye Lloyd for the general Probus meeting on The next clinic will be on Tuesday 10th David Smeeton 10th October October Millie Smith will be at the Masonic Hall on Furnissdale Brian Sydney-Smith Geoff Calkin Road, Barragup. Phone Bunbury David Vernon 97929999 for an appointment time Customs Australia NOTE: If your special birthday or anniversary ‘The Customs Hotline’ the 10th of October is a Probus meeting has not been acknowledged - day so please make your appointments Contact Elaine Aylmore! for PM. SEPTEMBER TRIVIA Remember: September, with the sun in the sign of Virgo and ending in the sign of Libra, is the ninth month of the year in the Gregorian Calendar and one of four South-West Get-Together Gregorian months with 30 days. (With ‘septem’ meaning ‘seven’ September 16th November, 2006 was the seventh month of the Roman calendar until 153 BC!). In the at Redcliffe Barn, Southern Hemisphere, September heralds the Spring, Father’s Day and the Murray River Country Estate. Spring Equinox. And did you know that September begins on the same day of the week as December every year? September's flower is the aster or This month’s raffle was won by morning glory and its birthstone is the sapphire. Raylee Dickson Advice: Don’t Speak to the Parrot! Wanda's dishwasher wasn’t working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told Senior Citizens Are Valuable the repairman, “I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the We have silver in our hair. bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque." "Oh, by the way don't worry We have gold in our teeth. about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do We have sugar in our blood. NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT We have stones in our kidneys. We TALK TO MY PARROT!!!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment have lead in our feet and.... the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has We are loaded with natural gas! ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled,” Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

Why English Teachers Die Young - Actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.  His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.  She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.  Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.  The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.  Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.  They lived in a typical suburban neighbourhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.  Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.  The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.  He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.  She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

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