Dear B Nai Mitzvah Families

RAMAT SHALOM B’NAI MITZVAH MANUAL 2010 – 2011

2 Dear B’nai Mitzvah Families,

Welcome to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Process. The next few years promise to be very exciting for you and your family. We say that our Torah is an Eytz Chayim, a Tree of Life. As your child embarks on the path towards becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, it is as if a new bud forms on this holy tree-a bud that will flower on the day your child celebrates his/her becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This flower, of course, serves as proof that the Tree of Life is growing. As you begin this journey with your child, you help to strengthen the Tree of Life. And it is our hope that you all will continue to do so long after your child becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

All of us at Ramat Shalom are excited to celebrate this important rite of passage with you. May this experience deepen your connection to Judaism and your roots here at Ramat Shalom.

This manual contains a great deal of information related to becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom. Please read it carefully and hold on to it. You will refer to it a great deal as you get closer to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah service.

We look forward to working with your family.

Sincerely,

Rabbi Andrew M. Jacobs Cantor Natalie M. Young

3 4 IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Dear Parents,

Please read this manual thoroughly. After you do so, please sign the bottom of this form and return it to the office by November 1st, 2010.

If you have any questions about anything you read in the manual, please let us know.

All questions concerning the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process, except questions related to financial and/or administrative issues, should be directed to Rabbi Andrew, who can be reached at 954.472.3600 or [email protected].

All financial questions should be directed to our Bookkeeper, Nancy Wyman who can be reached at 954.472.3600 or [email protected].

All administrative questions should be directed to our Synagogue Administrator, Beth Michell who can be reached at 954. 472.3600 or [email protected].

Thank you.

I have read the B’nai Mitzvah Manual and understand my family’s responsibilities as described within.

Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:

Date of service:

Time of service:

Your name (parent):

Your signature:

Your e-mail: (important: we communicate by e-mail – if you do not use e-mail, please let us know)

Today’s Date:

Please mail this back to Ramat Shalom, 11301 West Broward Blvd., Plantation, FL 33325 Attention: Barbara Laing. You may also fax the form to 954472.3622 or e-mail it to [email protected].

This form must be returned by November 1st, 2010.

5 6 Educational Requirements of the B’nai Mitzvah Process

1. In order to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom, a child must be actively enrolled in the Ramat Shalom Torah School, T3 (grades 8-12), or Donut Schmooze (grades 9-12), a recognized Jewish Day School, or an equivalent academic program that has been approved by the Rabbi and Education Director.

2. In order to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom, a child must begin their Jewish education in our Torah School, or an approved equivalent, no later than the 3rd grade. They must continue studying in our Torah School, or an approved equivalent, through the 7th grade prior to becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. B’nai Mitzvah are required to complete the 7th grade program at Ramat Shalom, or an approved equivalent, even if they are to become B’nai Mitzvah prior to completion of the 7th grade. B’nai Mitzvah are encouraged to attend Ramat Shalom’s T3 and Youth Group programs. Students who have completed the 7th grade program or an approved equivalent and are preparing to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, must be enrolled in T3 or an approved equivalent.

3. B’nai Mitzvah students are expected to have a knowledge of Hebrew and an understanding of Jewish history, customs, ceremonies, and values as set forth in the curriculum of the Ramat Shalom Torah School or an approved equivalent.

4. B’nai Mitzvah students are expected, to the best of their ability, to read in Hebrew the major prayers of the Shabbat service and to comprehend the key concepts in these prayers.

5. B’nai Mitzvah students are expected to have the ability to participate in the Torah service.

6. B’nai Mitzvah students are expected to have an understanding of the assigned Torah and Haftarah portions.

7. B’nai Mitzvah students are expected to have the ability to chant selected sections of assigned Torah (from the Torah scroll) and Haftarah portions.

8. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student must successfully complete the B’nai Mitzvah Workshops.

9. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student must successfully complete all tutorial sessions.

10. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student must successfully complete the service attendance requirements.

11. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student must demonstrate an understanding of and commitment to Tikkun Olam (healing the world) by taking part in ongoing social action programs.

12. These requirements must be fulfilled in order for a child to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom. Failure to complete these requirements will prevent a child from becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

13. An Important Reminder: The B’nai Mitzvah process is designed to meet the individual needs of each child. It is important that you share with us any issues that might make this process particularly challenging for your child so that we can design a program that meets his/her needs.

7 Date Assignments Bar/Bat Mitzvah service dates are assigned once a child completes the fourth grade at Ramat Shalom. New members who have a child that has completed the fourth grade at the time they join, will receive a date when they complete their membership application. Dates are assigned by the Ritual Committee. Requests to change a date must be made in writing and sent to the synagogue office. The Rabbi, Cantor, Education Director, and Synagogue Administrator do not handle date assignments or changes. An effort will be made to accommodate all date changes, but we cannot guarantee that each request will be met. Please note that date changes cannot be made after your child has started his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutoring (approximately 9 months before his/her service). If you need to move your assigned date, it is imperative that you contact the synagogue office immediately. Please do not wait to do so.

The Shabbat of Your Child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah You have either been assigned a morning Shabbat service, which we call Shacharit, or a late Shabbat afternoon service, which we call Minchah. The Minchah service concludes with Ma’ariv (the evening service) and Havdalah (the ceremony that marks the end of Shabbat).

 Our Shacharit services begin promptly at 10:00 AM.  Our Minchah service begins promptly at 5:00 PM (November – 1st Shabbat in April); 6:00 PM (2nd Shabbat in April – Last Shabbat in October).

Services always start on time. They will not be delayed because a guest is late. Therefore, if you feel that your guests might arrive late, please state on your invitations that the service begins 15 minutes earlier than the times mentioned above.

Families should be seated in the front row of the sanctuary by the time the service begins. Once the service begins, please do not greet your guests at the sanctuary door or get up to hug a family member you have not seen for some time. During the service, focus your attention on your child.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah should be on the bimah and all material that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will need for the service, including his/her siddur (prayerbook), Haftarah, and speech should be placed underneath the reading table before the service begins.

Kabbalat Shabbat Services Bar/Bat Mitzvah Families are expected to be at Kabbalat Shabbat Services (Friday, 7:30PM) the night before their child becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Families will be called upon to light the Shabbat candles. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will lead a short portion of the service. We encourage you to invite your extended family and friends to attend.

Community Involvement in Services Our services are open to the entire community. While we will celebrate your child becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the service that has been assigned to you, please note that there might be another family at the service celebrating an auf ruf or a birth, saying kaddish, or marking some other significant event in their lives. No other child will become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the service that has been assigned to you unless arrangements have been made by you for this to happen.

8 Board Usher Each family will be assigned a Board Usher, a member of our Board of Directors, who will make certain that the sanctuary is in order on the day of the service and will greet guests as they enter the building. This is a volunteer position – please keep this in mind. Board Ushers will contact families two weeks before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. The Usher will arrive 30 minutes before the service – no earlier. If you are having a photographer, we can open 90 minutes before the service as long as pre-arranged with the office. Please note: 5th grade families will be asked to co-usher at a bar/bat mitzvah service.

Dress Code Ramat Shalom is not in the business of telling you and your guests what to wear to a service. However, we do expect that you, your children, and your guests will dress in a manner appropriate for a synagogue service. This means nice, neat, clean clothing. Overly short skirts and dresses, low-cut blouses and dresses, shorts, jeans, sneakers, baseball hats, athletic attire, and t-shirts with statements on them are not acceptable. Women are expected to have their shoulders covered during the service. As the service is not a cocktail party, formal attire such as tuxedos and evening gowns are discouraged during the service. Sample letter for children attending service without an adult is on page 39 of the Appendix.

B’nai Mitzvah Workshops The B’nai Mitzvah Workshops are designed to make the B’nai Mitzvah process an enriching educational process for all members of the family. Ramat Shalom is committed to making certain that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a series of meaningless, foreign rituals, but rather, a powerful rite of passage for everyone involved. In an effort to make this happen, the workshops will address issues related to becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Special attention will be paid to the prayers, music, and rituals of the Shabbat services. In addition to this, the workshops will give families the opportunity to study the stories of the Torah together. Prior to their service, each family will be expected to read and understand the Torah portion that will be read on the Shabbat of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration and share both the content of this portion and their own interpretation of this portion with the other families in the workshop series.

Workshops are held throughout the year. Your family’s attendance is based upon the date of your service. You will be notified of the B’nai Mitzvah Workshop schedule several months before you are expected to attend a workshop.

The workshops meet approximately once a month on Shabbat. They begin at 8:30AM and end by 10:00AM so that participants can attend the Shabbat service. It is expected that families stay for services. Attending service is the best way to prepare for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. One workshop session will meet before a Mincha service and will start at either 3:30PM or 4:30PM ending by 5:00PM or 6:00PM. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah student and at least one parent must attend all workshops. You will receive a detailed schedule several months before your assigned workshop series begins. In addition to the Shabbat workshops, parents will be expected to attend 3 Thursday night workshops from 7:00PM to 8:00PM. At these sessions, the Rabbi and Cantor will assist you in service planning and writing your D’var Torah. The workshops are led by either the Rabbi or the Cantor.

9 Torah, Haftarah, T’filot (Prayers) Tutoring

Your child’s Hebrew progress is closely monitored by our Torah School staff. Beginning in 5th grade, the Torah School Director will contact you if your child needs additional Hebrew tutoring.

Approximately nine months before a child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, your child will begin the tutoring process. The tutoring process will allow your child to learn how to chant his/her Torah portion (from the Torah scroll) and Haftarah and learn how to lead the required t’filot (see Appendix). Over the course of the tutoring period, your child will also work on carrying the Torah and the “choreography” of the service. The first 4 sessions will be the Blessings Class which is a prayer review taught by the Cantor. The next 22 sessions will be with your assigned tutor who will work on Torah and Haftarah with your child. The remaining 3 sessions will be with the Cantor and may take place while your child is still working with his/her tutor.

Each child will be provided with a copy of the Torah and Haftarah portions that s/he is responsible for learning. Students are expected to purchase their own siddur which they are to use during their tutorial sessions. Each child will be provided with a CD of their Torah and Haftarah portions. All prayers and blessings can be found on the website and can easily be downloaded onto an ipod!

After the Blessings Classes with the Cantor, each child will be assigned 3 aliyot, however, some will do more and some will do less. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah prepares for his/her tutoring sessions at home. Parents need to make certain that their children study at least 15 to 20 minutes each night so that they are ready for their sessions.

Please keep in mind that your child’s tutorial schedule needs to fit into your summer plans. Contact the Rabbi to discuss your summer schedule at least one year before your child’s service.

It is crucial that you let the Rabbi know of any learning challenges that your child may have. Understanding individual needs will enable us to work optimally with each student.

Tutorial sessions cannot take place while your child is in Torah School.

Tutorial sessions may be rescheduled if 24 hours notice is given. Additional sessions with tutors (in excess of 22 appointments) can be scheduled only after financial arrangements have been made with the Synagogue Administrator. At the first tutorial, each student’s Hebrew skills will be assessed. Based upon each child’s assessment and his/her Torah School attendance, additional tutoring might be required at the expense of the student’s family.

10 Service Requirements

In addition to the class service, students are responsible for attending a number of Shabbat Services throughout the year. Regular attendance at services is essential to the student’s understanding, identification, and learning about the service and its liturgy. All students are required to pull their card in the lobby of the sanctuary.

Grades K-3 3 services

4 th Grade 4 services It is required that 4th grade families attend the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah. B’nai Mitzvah dates will be handed out at the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah.

5 th Grade 4 Friday Evening Services 5 Shabbat Morning or Afternoon Services It is required that 5th grade families attend the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah. 5th grade families will co-usher at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Torah and Haftarah Assignments will be handed out at the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah.

6 th Grade 4 Friday Evening Services 5 Shabbat Morning or Afternoon Services 6th graders will participate in the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah. Attendance at assigned B’nai Mitzvah Workshops (some students might not attend until 7th grade)

7 th Grade Attendance at assigned B’nai Mitzvah Workshops and services that follow (not all 7th graders will have to attend these workshops because they might have attended them during the end of their 6th grade year.)

Inasmuch as becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is essentially the integration of the “child” into the adult Jewish community, families are expected to attend B’nai Mitzvah services prior to their child being a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Most students will be invited to many such services in the course of the year, but it is just as important that parents of B’nai Mitzvah students attend services at Ramat Shalom so that they can better understand the unique nature of our services and, thereby, help to fashion their own distinctive service experience.

11 Bar/Bat Mitzvah D’var Torah Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah will give a d’var Torah (word of Torah) at his/her service. This d’var Torah will use the Torah reading to capture a unique aspect of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The Rabbi will work with each student on his/her d’var Torah. Approximately four months before their scheduled Bar/Bat Mitzvah service, the Rabbi will set up an appropriate schedule with each student.

Parent’s D’var Torah At least one parent will give a d’var Torah at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. This d’var Torah will allow parents to use the Torah portion that is read on the Shabbat of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service to capture the way in which they feel about their child. The writing of this d’var Torah will be discussed in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Workshops. The Rabbi will be available to discuss this d’var Torah and he will be happy to set up a series of meetings with each family to work on this d’var Torah.

We ask that you give a great deal of thought to this section of the service. Your child/ren will spend many hours preparing for the service. Please do the same. Family D’var Torah Worksheet can be found on page 38 of the appendix.

Family Mitzvah Project Each family is expected to be involved in an ongoing mitzvah project (a community service project). Families are encouraged to be creative and find a project that is meaningful to them. Examples of wonderful Mitzvah Projects can be found on our website.

Projects should be selected no later than 6 months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. They should not be “completed” by the time the service takes place; rather, they should continue indefinitely. The Rabbi will monitor each family’s progress and is available to answer any questions families might have about their projects. Once you have chosen a project, please fill out the Family Mitzvah Project Worksheet and submit it to the Rabbi.

Guidelines for Family Mitzvah Project  Student makes a presentation in Kehillah (assembly) regarding the project after approval from the Torah School Director  All flyers must be submitted for review one session before the flyer is to go out and must be approved by the Torah School Director. Copies must be provided by the family.  A flyer may be posted in the synagogue bulletin board or Tekiah after approval by the Torah School Director.  Any collection box must be clearly labeled as to purpose and in good repair and may be put out through Torah School hours only. The family must remove the box at the end of each Torah School session.

12 Gifts and Donations The giving of a gift to the synagogue in honor of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a tradition at Ramat Shalom. Please contact our Synagogue Administrator, Beth Michell, for more information – [email protected].

Many family members, friends, and even the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, might choose to honor this momentous occasion with a donation to Ramat Shalom’s many funds, the purchase of a garden paver or a plaque on the Tree of Life.

Tallis and Kippah It is expected that families purchase a tallis (prayer shawl) and a kippah (yarmulke) for their child to use during his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. The significance of the tallis and kippah will be discussed at a B’nai Mitzvah workshop. It is tradition at Ramat Shalom to have the parents and/or the grandparents present the tallis to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the service. It is our hope that the tallis and kippah will be used on a regular basis by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah after the service. Kippot and tallitot will be available for guests.

The Siddur

Families will use our siddur, Kol HaNeshamah, for their service. The cost to purchase a siddur through the synagogoue for your B’nai Mitzvah child is $36.00.

Some families make a supplement which they use in addition to the Kol HaNeshamah. A supplement contains poems and readings that a family may want to include in the service. A supplement can only be one folded 8 ½ x 11 sheet of paper and must be recycled after the service.

Families who choose to make a supplement must work closely with the Rabbi and Cantor.

Families who choose to make a supplement must notify the Rabbi three months before their service. Drafts of supplements must be submitted to the Rabbi no later than two months before the service. Completed supplements must be submitted no later than one month before the service.

Chumashim So that your guests can follow along with the Torah and the Haftarah readings, the synagogue will provide your guests with chumashim (books that contain the Torah and Haftarah that your child will read) for use during the service.

The Rehearsal The Rabbi or Cantor will schedule a rehearsal with each Bar/Bat Mitzvah family. The rehearsal will usually be held the Thursday before the scheduled Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student and their parents are required to attend this rehearsal. The rehearsal is a wonderful opportunity for families to walk through the service together. (Suggestion: As photographs are not permitted during the service, you might want to consider photographing the rehearsal. Please notify the Rabbi or the Cantor in advance if you will have a photographer taking pictures during the rehearsal.) Rehearsals should last about an hour.

Newspaper/Tekiah Coverage Two months before their service, families (may, if you wish,) submit via email to the office a photo of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah with a brief bio that can be put in the Tekiah. This is voluntary. Unless you specify otherwise, this information will also be shared with local newspaper.

Future Commitments At Ramat Shalom Becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom signifies a desire to become a committed member of our community. All of us here expect B’nai Mitzvah and their families to demonstrate this commitment by participating in T3, Donut Schmooze, Confirmation, and regular attendance at services and other synagogue programs.

Participation of Family and Friends in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service We encourage participation of family and friends in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Here are ways in which you may choose to involve important people in your lives:

o Torah reading

If the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not reading the entire Torah portion, adult (post- Bar/Bat Mitzvah) family and friends may read Torah. If they do so, they must be able to chant the Torah from the scroll. If you will have people reading from the Torah, please fill out the “Torah Readers Form” in the Appendix. This honor can only be given to Jewish family and friends. People given this honor must wear a tallis and a kippah on the bimah.

Please note: if a guest does not have his/her own tallis, the synagogue has a supply and your Board Usher can make them available to guests if you tell them to do so. You will provide kippot for all guests.

o English Readings

The Appendix contains outlines of the Shacharit and Mincha service. In each outline, there are several optional reading slots listed along with appropriate themes for each of these readings. These are places where B’nai Mitzvah families may choose readings that can be read by families and friends. Readings are used to complement the liturgy. Readings that fit the listed themes may be selected either from the siddur or from other sources (see the Rabbi for collections of readings and poetry). If the readings are not from the siddur, families may choose to photocopy the readings and hand them out at the service. Please note that families may select no more than five readings. At least one month before the service, copies of all readings must be submitted to the Rabbi for approval and mailed to those people assigned to read them. Please encourage those guests who will be participating to practice before the service.

14 o Aliyot

Adult family members and friends may be offered an aliyah, the opportunity to come up to the bimah and say the blessings that are said before and after the Torah is read. People can be called up in groups for this honor.

Participants must recite or chant these blessings in Hebrew. Instructions, as well as the Hebrew texts with English transliterations are included in the Appendix. Please photocopy this information and mail it to those people who will be given this honor at least one month before the service so that they have time to practice reciting them. A recording of the aliyah can be found on the website. Please note that at Ramat Shalom, some people recite the Reconstructionist aliyah – which is slightly different from the traditional aliyah. Family and friends who are called upon for an aliyah should say the blessings that they are most comfortable with. Both forms are found in the Appendix. Both forms of the blessing will be on the reader’s table during the service.

Please also inform those who will be given this honor that they are must wear a tallis and kippah when they come onto the bimah. This honor can only be given to Jewish family and friends.

Please ask for the Hebrew/Yiddish names of the people who are being honored with these Torah blessings, together with the Hebrew/Yiddish name of their parents and fill in this information on the “Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service Worksheet” which is in the Appendix.

IMPORTANT In order to give someone an aliyah, there must be someone to read Torah. Also, your child is given the last aliyah. The last aliyah is reserved for the parents. o Opening and Closing the Ark

This honor can only be given to Jewish family and friends. There are two places in the service when we need ark openers. Please look at the service outlines and inform adults who will be given this honor that they should come to the bimah either at the beginning of the Torah service and/or at the end of the Torah service. They must wear a tallis and a kippah when they come onto the bimah. o Handing down the Torah

This honor is usually reserved for parents and grandparents. After removing the Torah from the ark, the Rabbi will pass the Torah to the grandparents, who pass it on to the parents who will pass it on to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This passing can also be done symbolically with each of the participants touching the Torah instead of holding it. Please also inform those who will be given this honor that they must wear a tallis and a kippah when they come onto the bimah. This honor can only be given to Jewish adults. 15 o Siddur Holder

This honor is usually reserved for a non-Jewish parent or grandparent. While the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is holding the Torah, the siddur holder holds the siddur for the child.

o Hagbah and G’lilah (Lifting and Dressing the Torah)

One adult family member or friend (post-Bar/Bat Mitzvah) who is Jewish can be asked to lift the Torah. This requires a great deal of physical strength. If the person who is given this honor has never lifted the Torah before, s/he is required to attend the rehearsal. Adult family and friends who are Jewish can be asked to dress the Torah – children may assist with dressing.

Please inform adults who will be given these honors that they must wear a tallis and a kippah when they come onto the bimah.

Financial Obligations While the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process is primarily a spiritual experience, there are administrative tasks and financial obligations that families must fulfill.

1. Members must be current in their payment of all financial obligations up to and including 6 months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. The Maintenance Fund must be paid in full at least 60 days prior to the youngest child in the family becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. You must be current with your payment plan prior to and throughout the tutoring process. 2. Bar/Bat Mitzvah families are assessed a Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee of $918. Half of this fee is due in the 6th grade and the balance of $459 is due in the 7th grade. Any outstanding portion of this fee must be paid in full at least three months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. 3. Families with Bar/Bat Mitzvah dates in June, July or August are expected to renew their membership on June 1st.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee includes:

 13 hours (26 half-hour sessions) of individual tutoring. Tutor hours are scheduled at a mutually convenient time between the student and the tutor. If you need to reschedule an appointment, you must do so 24 hours in advance. Any missed scheduled tutoring sessions will not be made up. If additional sessions are necessary for any reason, they can be scheduled at a cost of $36 per half hour.  B’nai Mitzvah Workshop supplies.  Sponsorship of the Oneg Shabbat  Administrative and maintenance costs.  The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Packet and TANAKH  Relevant CDs.

16 APPENDIX TO B’NAI MITZVAH MANUAL

17 18 Words/Concepts You Need To Know In Order To Become A Bar/Bat Mitzvah Prepared especially for the B’nai Mitzvah of Ramat Shalom version 1. 2010/5770 Bar Mitzvah/Bat Mitzvah B’nai Mitzvah/B’not Mitzvah Mitzvah/Mitzvot Commandment 10 Commandments/613 Commandments Halakha Tradition Custom Ritual Reconstructionism/Reconstructionist Conservative Reform Orthodox Renewal Unaffiliated Post-Denominational Kahal/Community/Am Yisrael Chai

T a N a KH Torah Breishit/Genesis Shemot/Exodus Vayikra/Leviticus Bamidbar/Numbers Dvarim/Deuteronomy

Sefer Torah/Sifrei Torah Hebrew Aramaic Hebrew Vowels/Trope Marks/Punctuation Tikun Parasha/Parshiyot/Parashat Aliyah/Aliyot 3/7/8 3 verse/verses pasuk/p’sukim Triennial Cycle/Full Kriyah Torah Readings Torah Blessings chosen/choseness Asher Bachar Banu Mi Kol Ha’amim Who has singled us out from all the peoples Asher Kervanu La’Avodato Who has drawn us to your service Maftir

19 4:34-9:22 Moshe ben Avraham v’Sarah Rivka bat Esther

T a N a KH (cont.)

Nevi’im Prophet Haftarah Haftarah Blessings

Chumash/Chumashim/Supplement Ketuvim Megillah/Megillot

Chag/Chagim/Yom Tov Shalosh Regalim/3 Pilgrimage Festivals Selichot/Rosh HaShanah/Yom Kippur Teshuvah, Yamim Nora’im, Shofar, Machzor, Akeidah, Neilah Sukkot Sekhakh, Sukkah, Megillat Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) Hoshanah Rabbah, Arbah Minim, LulavHadas/Myrtle 3, Arava/Willow 2 Etrog, Chol HaMoed, Israeli Calender/Diaspora-Galut Calendar Shemini Atzeret Simchat Torah Hakafah/Hakafot Chanukah Menorah/Chanukiyah, Sufganiyot, Hasmoneans, Latkes, Dreidel (Y)/Sevivon (H) Tu B’Shevat Seder, Kabbalists Purim Grogger, Megillat Esther, Hamantaschen, Mordechai, Haman, Shpiel Pesach Matzah, Haggadah, Maror, Seder, Kasher L’Pesah, Bedikat Chametz Fast Of The Firstborn, Megillat Shir HaShirim/Song of Songs (Kosher/Kasher/Parve/Fleishig/Milchig/Treif/U/K/P) Yom HaShoah Yom HaAtzma’ut Yom HaZikaron Yom Yerushalim Lag B’Omer Sefirat Ha’Omer 49 Pirke Avot (Mishnah, Talmud, Midrash) 20 Shavuot Megillat Rut, Tikun Leil Shavuot Tisha B’Av Megillat Eicha/Lamentations

T a N a KH (cont.)

Rosh Chodesh Moon, Lunar Calendar, New Moon, Full Moon Erev/Candlelighting Tishrei (RH, YK, SK, SH, ST), Cheshvan, Kislev (CH), Tevet (end of CH), Shevat (TB), Adar (PR), Nisan (P, YS), Iyar (YZ, YA, LG, YY), Sivan (SHV), Tammuz, Av (TB), Elul (Cheshbon HaNefesh) Shabbat/Kabbalat Shabbat Monday, Thursday, (Shabbat), Chag, Rosh Chodesh Trope Cantillation

Liturgy/Tefillah/Tefillot

Bracha/Brachot Shacharit Mincha Ma’ariv Havdalah Kavannah/Kevah Bracha Nusah Siddur/Siddurim

Tallit/Talus/Taleisim Tzitzit Kippah/Kippot/Yarmulke Baruch Atah Adonai ה-ו-ה-י/God/HaShem/Elohim/Eloheinu/Shechinah/Yah Birchot HaShachar Pesukey D’Zimrah Chatzi Kaddish Aramaic/Hebrew/Yiddish Ashekenazic (yis)/Sefardic (yit) Kol Yoshevei Tevel Shalom Barechu Yotzer Shema V’ahavta Mezuzah/Mezuzot/Tefillin Mi Chamocha

21 Amidah Avoteinu/Imoteinu Avraham/Sarah Yitzhak/Rivka Ya’akov (Yisrael)/Rachel v’Leah Ashrei Liturgy/Tefillah/Tefillot (cont.)

Torah Service Moshe/Sinai/Aliyah Aleynu Kaddish Kiddush Ki Aleynu Karata Ve’Otanu Kidashta La’Avodatecha Called to us and set us apart to serve you Ki vanu vachar-ta vi-osanu kidash-ta mikol ha-amim Chosen us from all the nations and made us holy Motzi/Challah Oneg

Bet Midrash/Bet Knesset/Bet Tefillah/Synagogue/Temple

Minyan Bimah Ark/Aron HaKodesh (Holy of Holies/Kedosh Kedoshim) Sefer Torah/Sifrei Torah Rimonim Yad Wimple Aytz Chaim/Ayztei Chaim Hagbah G’lilah Gabbai Dvar Torah/Divrei Torah/Darshan Ner Tamid Shaliach Tzibbur

L’Shon Kodesh

Amein Yasher Koach Baruch S’hmo, Baruch Hu U’varuch Shemo Mazal Tov Shabbat Shalom/Gut Shabbos Shavua Tov Chag Sameach/Gut Yontiff Shanah Tovah Have An Easy Fast

22 L’Chayim Motzei Shabbat Rabbi/Rebbe Chazan/Cantor Kavod Tikun Olam Tzedakah/Charity/Mitzvah Bikur Cholim כל = T Israel/Yisrael Ramat Shalom BCE/CE – 70CE Priests/Rabbis Temple/Synagogue Sacrifice/Torah, Prayer Jesus/Jesus Christ – Oy Vey What Is This Here For? Hang on – you’ll see

Z’man Kodesh

Brit Milah Mohel Simchat Bat/Naming Pidyon HaBen Covenant Patrilineal/Matrilineal Descent Ger, Bet Din, Mikveh, Hatifat Dam, Edim (witnesses) Confirmation Aufruf/Ketubah/Chuppah/Shevah Brachot Get Chevrah Kaddisha Sh’mirah, Shomer, Kriyah, Kaddish Yatom Yizkor, Tahara/Tachrihim/Shrouds, Makom, Yahrzeit (candle) Shivah, Shloshim, Unveiling, z”l/zichrono l’vracha

23 Valuable B’nai Mitzvah Tools Prepared for Ramat Shalom’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah Families Ramat Shalom

How to find your Torah portion

Go to our website: www.ramatshalom.org

Click on “Weekly Torah Readings” in Navigation Bar

In the middle of the page, you will see: “To determine what parasha we are reading this week, please click HERE”. Click ‘HERE’

The 2010 “Hebcal.com” calendar will appear on your screen.

Find your Bar/Bat Mitzvah date (usually a Shabbat).

. If you have a morning Bar/Bat Mitzvah, click on the phrase that begins with “Parashat” and is followed by the name of your parasha.

. If you have an afternoon bar/bat mitzvah, go the following Shabbat, click on the phrase that begin with “Parashat” and is followed by the name of your parasha.

A screen like this will appear:

Torah Portion (KORACH I added this!): Numbers 16:1 - 18:32 (this is your entire Torah portion that should be read in English)

Full Kriyah Triennial Year I Triennial Year II Triennial Year III 28 June 2008 27 June 2009 12 June 2010

1: 16:1-13 (13 p'sukim) 1: 16:1-3 1: 16:20-27 1: 17:25-18:7 2: 16:14-19 (6 p'sukim) 2: 16:4-7 2: 16:28-35 2: 18:8-10 3: 16:20-17:8 (24 p'sukim) 3: 16:8-13 3: 17:1-5 3: 18:11-13 4: 17:9-15 (7 p'sukim) 4: 16:14-19 4: 17:6-8 4: 18:14-20 5: 17:16-24 (9 p'sukim) 5: 16:20-35 5: 17:9-15 5: 18:21-24 6: 17:25-18:20 6: 17:1-8 6: 17:16-20 6: 18:25-29 (24 p'sukim) 7: 17:9-15 7: 17:21-24 7: 18:30-32 7: 18:21-32 (12 p'sukim) maf: 17:9-15 maf: 17:21-24 maf: 18:30-32 maf: 18:30-32 (3 p'sukim)

24 Haftarah: I Samuel 11:14 - 12:22 Some of you will find additional information.

On Shabbat Rosh Chodesh maf: Numbers 28:9-15 (7 p'sukim) ▪ 12 Jun 2010 ▪ 08 Jun 2013 ▪ 24 Jun 2017

When Parashat Korach coincides with a special Shabbat, we read a different Haftarah: ▪ 12 Jun 2010 (Shabbat Rosh Chodesh / Isaiah 66:1 - 66:24) ▪ 08 Jun 2013 (Shabbat Rosh Chodesh / Isaiah 66:1 - 66:24) ▪ 24 Jun 2017 (Shabbat Rosh Chodesh / Isaiah 66:1 - 66:24)

How to master your prayers

1. Attend services. You cannot do this if you do not attend services. Seriously.

2. Practice!

Go to our website: www.ramatshalom.org

Click on “Blessings, Tefillot, Torah and Music” in Navigation Bar

You will see Friday Evening and Shabbat Morning/Afternoon prayers

When you click on a specific prayer, you will hear the Cantor chanting the prayer

Download each prayer you need to work on and place it on your iPod

Listen to the prayers as often as you can.

25 Shacharit BM Niggun 141 Mah Tovu (Cantor) Rabbi’s Welcome 143 Tallit presentation & blessing 153 Birchot Hashachar (BM) 165 Elohai N’Shamah (Cantor) 177-179 P’sukei D’zimrah (BM) 231 Psalm 150 (Cantor) 245 Chatzi Kaddish (BM) 247 Bar’chu (BM) 247 Yotzer (BM) 268 Reading (all) 277 Sh’ma/V’ahavta (BM) 291 Mi Chamocha (Cantor) 295 Adonai S’fatai (Cantor) Amidah Avot (BM) G’vurot (BM) L’dor Vador (Cantor) 319 Priestly Blessing (Rabbi and Cantor) 321 Sim Shalom (Cantor)- 323 Oseh Shalom or Yihyu L’ratzon (Cantor)

Torah Service 383 Eyn Kamocha, etc. (BM) 385 Vay’hi (BM) 393 Sh’ma/Echad/Gadlu (BM) Hakafot (Cantor) 1. Torah Reading (BM and honored guest/family) ……………………………. 2. Lift & Dress Torah (honored guests/family……………………….. Mi Shebeirach for Healing (Rabbi and Cantor) D’var Torah/Speech (BM) 26 409 Haftarah Opening Blessings (BM) Haftarah Reading (BM) 409-411Haftarah Closing Blessings (BM) Siman Tov Holocaust Torah 441 Etz Chayim Parents’ Blessing: Cantor’s Blessing: 443 Eyn Keloheinu (BM) (optional) 445 Aleinu (BM) 451 Mourner’s Kaddish (Rabbi and Cantor) Board presentation of gifts Kiddush/Motzi (BM and family)

27 28 Havdalah BM Opening Song: Welcome 143 Tallit presentation and blessing (BM) 469-471 Ashrey (BM)

Torah Service: 475 Vay’hi, Ki Mitzion, Baruch Shenatan (BM) 477 Gad’lu (BM) Mi Shebeirach for Healing (Rabbi and Cantor) D’var Torah/Speech (BM) 409 Haftarah Opening Blessing (BM) Haftarah Reading (BM) 409-411 Haftarah Closing Blessings (BM) Rabbi’s blessing and Tanakh presentation Holocaust Torah processional 485 Etz Chayim (Cantor) 489 Amidah-Avot (BM) 493 G’vurot (BM) 497 L’dor Vador Silent through page 509 509 Shalom Rav (Cantor) Parents blessing Cantor’s blessing:

Ma’ariv: 57 Bar’chu (BM) 63 Ahavat Olam (all) 65 Sh’ma/V’ahavta (BM) 79 Mi Chamocha Silent Meditation Oseh Shalom (Nat)

29 121 Aleynu (BM) 131 Kaddish Yatom Board presentation of gifts 525 Havdalah (all)

30 REQUIRED PRAYERS FOR AM BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Kabbalat Shabbat 5 Candle Blessings 55 Hatzi Kaddish 57 Barechu 119 Kiddush for Erev Shabbat Motzi Shabbat Shacharit 143 Tallis Blessing 153 Birchot Ha Shachar 177 Pesukey DeZimrah 247 Yotzer 277 Shema/V’ahavta 295 Avot/Imahot 299 Gevurot 383 Eyn Kamocha 385 Vayhi 393 Shema/Echad/Gadelu 399 Blessing before Torah 399 Blessing after Torah 407 Vezot HaTorah 408 Blessing before Haftarah 409 Blessing after Haftarah 445 Aleynu

31 REQUIRED PRAYERS FOR PM BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Kabbalat Shabbat 5 Candle Blessings 55 Hatzi Kaddish 57 Barechu 119 Kiddush for Erev Shabbat Motzi Shabbat Mincha. Ma’ariv, Havdalah 469 Ashrey 143 Tallis Blessing 475 Vayhi 477 Gadelu 479 Blessing before Torah 479 Blessing after Torah 408 Blessing before Haftarah 409 Blessing after Haftarah 489 Avot/Imahot 493 Gevurot 55 Hatzi Kaddish 57 Barechu 65 Shema/V’ahavta 121 Aleynu 520 Havdalah

32 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service Worksheet This form must be returned to the Rabbi three months before your service

Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:

Name(s) of parent(s) of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:

Name(s) of sibling(s) of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:

Aliyot Please list the English and Hebrew/Yiddish name for each person who will be given an aliyah.

Note: a person’s Hebrew/Yiddish name includes their name and the name of their parents (e.g. Moshe ben Yitzchak v’Rachel)

English Name Hebrew/Yiddish Name Torah Reader/Chapter, Verses

1. ______ben/bat______v’______

2. ______ben/bat______v’______

3. ______ben/bat______v’______

4. ______ben/bat______v’______

5. ______ben/bat______v’______

6. ______ben/bat______v’______

7. ______ben/bat______v’______

Maftir Hebrew Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah: ______ben/bat______v’______

33 Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah: ______

Additional Honors

Tallis - Please list names of people presenting the tallis and their relationship to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah:

Torah Readers* - Please list English names of Torah readers, their telephone numbers, and sections that they are reading (we cannot provide a CD; however, you can direct readers to our website)

Ark openers* - Please list English names of ark openers:

First ark opening:

Second ark opening:

Handing Down Torah* - Please list names of people who will be handing down the Torah and their relationship to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah:

Siddur Holder – Please list English name of Siddur Holder:

Hagbah* - Please list name of the person who will lift the Torah:

G’lilah* - Please list name of the person who will dress the Torah:

D’var Torah – Please list name of person giving the d’var Torah (speech) during the service (usually a parent):

English Readings: Please list English names of readers and page number (if in siddur) of reading. If the reading is not in the siddur, please attach it to this form.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

*This honor is reserved for people who are Jewish. It is expected that someone who accepts this honor will wear a tallis and a kippah.

34 TORAH READERS FORM If you need the Cantor to do one reading, you must contact her 3 months prior to the service. Please list additional Torah readers below.

This form must be turned in to the Cantor three months before your service date Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah: ______

Torah Readers Phone Numbers

35 SUPPLEMENT FORM This form must be turned into the Rabbi three months before your service date

Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah: ______

Date of Service: ______

We will be making a Supplement ______

We will not be making a Supplement ______

Drafts of supplements are due at least two months before your service date.

Final copies of supplements are due at least one month before the service.

36 Family Mitzvah Project Worksheet (for guidance, please see our website) This form must be returned to the Rabbi six months before your service

Name of Bar/Bat mitzvah: ______

Date of service: ______

Family members involved in project:

Please describe your project in detail:

FOR THOSE CALLED TO THE TORAH FOR AN ALIYAH AT RAMAT SHALOM

You have been asked to take an aliyah to the Torah. The word aliyah comes from the Hebrew word “to go up” and is used to designate the honor of “going up” to the Torah.

You must wear a tallis (prayer shawl) and a kippah (yarmulke) when you come up to the bimah (stage). You may bring your own tallis and kippah or we can provide you with them at the synagogue.

37 You will be called up to the bimah first by your English name and then by your Hebrew/Yiddish name. Please provide this information to the parents of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Come to the bimah as we begin to call your name. Stand in front of the Torah scroll. Take the tzitzit, the fringe on the tallis, and touch the place in the Scroll indicated by the Cantor. This is, in effect, a way of “signing in.” The Scroll will then be closed. Begin reading or chanting the blessing. Please visit our website, ramatshalom.org to hear the aliyah. You can also download a copy of the aliyah from the site.

Please note that at Ramat Shalom, many recite the Reconstructionist aliyah – which is slightly different from the traditional aliyah. You should say the aliyah that you are most comfortable with. If you forget to bring your copy of the aliyah up to the bimah with you, there will be copies at the reader’s table.

After you finish the first blessing, the reader will read a portion of the Torah. When s/he finishes, touch the fringe of the tallis to the spot indicated by the Cantor. The Scroll is then closed and you will conclude with the blessing after the reading of the Torah. You will then be asked to move to the side of the reader’s table as the next person honored is called up to the bimah. When that person concludes the final blessing, you can take your seat.

If you forget these directions, be assured that those at the reader’s table will do everything possible to make you feel comfortable.

38 39 40 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Schedule

Beginning of 6th Grade  B’nai Mitzvah Orientation

End of 4th, 5th, and 6th Grades  Model B’nai Mitzvah led by 6th Grade

Throughout 4th-6th Grades  Adhere to service attendance requirements

One Year Before Service  Begin to meet with Rabbi and/or Cantor for guidance

Six Months (or more) Before Service  B’nai Mitzvah Workshops begin  Blessings Class begins (students attend a minimum of 4 classes)  “Family Mitzvah Project Worksheet” due (page 37)  Deadline to reserve space at Ramat Shalom for reception; room usage fee is due

Four Months Before Service  Schedule D’var Torah appointments with Rabbi

Three Months Before Service  Notify Cantor of any additional Torah readers by giving her the “Torah Readers Form” (page 35)  Notify Rabbi if you are making your own supplement by giving him the “Supplement Form” (page 36)  Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee must be paid in full (if youngest child is becoming bar/bat mitzvah) and all other outstanding charges must be paid in full

Two Months Before Service  Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service Worksheet (page 33)  Additional Honors Form (page 34)  Schedule your rehearsal with Cantor or Rabbi  Draft of supplement must be submitted to Rabbi  Signed Catering Agreement (Kashrut Policy) must be submitted to office  Rules for Videography/Photography must be signed and submitted to office  Certificates of Insurance naming Ramat Shalom as Additional Insured must be submitted to the office by each vendor’s insurance company  Submit photo and bio to the office by email

One Month Before Service  Supplements must be completed and submitted to Rabbi  Readings and aliyah information and readings must be mailed to appropriate guests

Two Weeks Before Service  Complete “Event Planning Form” (See Guide) and submit to office  Information on room setup must be submitted to office  Contact with Board usher

Week of Service: Rehearsal

41 Family D’var Torah Worksheet

Family Name:

1. The name of the Torah portion:

2. From the book of:

3. Summarize your Torah portion in 5 sentences:

4. “The Torah…needs our voice, our presence, our interpretation. Then, and only then, does it become complete.” -Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin

What feels incomplete in your Torah portion? What needs more explanation? What leaves you questioning?

Take your answer above and “complete” the story. Offer your explanation. Answer your questions. Don’t be afraid to be creative.

5. “Biblical stories have a way of being used by children to look inward as well as upward…The stories of Adam and Eve, Abraham and Isaac, Noah and the Ark, Cain and Abel, Samson and Delilah, David and Goliath, get linked in the minds of millions of children to their own personal stories.” -Professor Robert Coles, Harvard University

What part of your Torah portion makes you look inward and upward? What part of the portion makes you think about your own life and/or about God? What part of your portion speaks to you? If, after a lot of thought, you can’t answer these questions, what is it about your Torah portion that keeps you from connecting with it? What doesn’t it say that you want it to say?

42 SAMPLE LETTER TO PARENTS OF CHILDREN ATTENDING SERVICE WITHOUT AN ADULT

We are thrilled that your child will be joining us for ______’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Please review the following and share with your child.

Dress Code:

The girls may be dressed in party attire, but as bare shoulders are not permitted in the sanctuary, please have a cover-up (jacket or shawl) for the service.

The boys may wear either a suit, or sports jacket and slacks with either a shirt and tie or a dressy tee. No blue jeans please.

And…..

Services at Ramat Shalom will start promptly at 10am/5pm/6pm – please have your child there 15 minutes before the service so that he/she can be seated before the service begins. Please explain to your child to use the restrooms before the service as the sanctuary doors close once the service begins

Cell phones MUST be TURNED OFF upon arrival. This also means NO TEXTING during the service! You may turn your phone back on after the service is over.

There is no gum chewing, food or drinks allowed in the synagogue.

We expect everyone to act respectfully. There is no talking during the service.

We thank you in advance for sharing these rules with your child and we look forward to having him/her at our synagogue for this joyful occasion.

If you have any questions, please call….