Lou Ann Walker

What was it like growing up with deaf parents? That's a tough question because it calls for an extremely long, complex answer. In some ways it was very painful. I saw that other people in the family didn't treat my mother and father as equals because of their deafness. It was hard to have people get angry with my parents because my parents didn't hear what was said. People made fun of their speech. On the other hand I think they're the most wonderful parents in the world. They're loving, forgiving, thoughtful, generous and extraordinarily wise. They are accepting of everyone. They're also hard-working and full of joy.

Did other children treat you unfairly at times or were you bullied as a child? Most of my good friends were kind to us, but I know some kids and their parents thought that our family was very unusual. Really it was adults who were unkind as a rule, although sometimes kids would mock our signing or my parents' speech. Did you ever wonder what it was like to be deaf? Or did you ever think of what it was like to be in your parents' shoes? Of course. All the time. It would have been unnatural not to have pondered that. But the truth is that my culture is deaf culture and so in some ways, inside, I do feel Deaf, if that makes any sense. After all, American Sign Language is my first language--I signed before I spoke and that means that I perceive the world, in many ways, through sign language.

Did you ever wish you were deaf? As I mentioned, culturally I am Deaf. I have the sensibilities of a Deaf person, I feel--which means that we focus on the nuances in peoples' faces where as other hearing people focus more intently on words. Would I want to lose my hearing? Not really. There is no question that it's an inconvenience, but I could certainly live an effective life as a Deaf person. I own many of the technological advances, such as a web-cam for video communication. I have plenty of Deaf friends, colleagues and family members. When I was pregnant with my daughter, the genetics counselor kept telling me that there was a possibility my child would be born deaf. (My aunt and uncle were also deaf.) She couldn't believe it when I told her that it wouldn't matter to me if my child were Deaf because I come from a Deaf family. What mattered to me was that the child was healthy.

Was it tough being the oldest child? Did you have many responsibilities for your age that other children didn't? Yes, I'll admit I had plenty of responsibilities growing up. Especially because there weren't the laws in place requiring that sign language interpreters be provided in many situations and because we didn't have the wonderful technology we have now. It was only when I was in college that we got a TTY--a Teletype device for telephone communication. Later, the fax and now email and video relay services have made Deaf people far more independent and that fact is so much better. It's nicer to be able to feel you can do things on your own. The truth is, though, that I enjoyed my role as interpreter and I think it made me better able to deal with the world as an adult.

As a child, was it hard to find people to lean on after a hard day, or going through hard times you had a hard time communicating and being understood? Yes, it was hard because we didn't talk about the Deaf world. Deaf families are extremely private--or at least were before. It's hard when everyone knows your business all the time and so you keep to yourself about certain things. Also, I didn't want to feel as if I was ever betraying my parents. In other words, I never talked to people about what it was like having deaf parents--not until I was in college.

Why did you choose to write A Loss For Words? So many people asked me so many questions about my parents and my aunt and uncle who were Deaf. And there were so many things that people misunderstood. Yes, it was hard. It was a different childhood than most. But there were also so many wonderful parts that I adored.

How did you learn ASL with your parents? My parents taught me ASL in much the same way that other parents teach spoken language. They signed to me constantly and I watched them. Then I would try to imitate their hand movement. They would nod and smile and keep on making the movement and over time my signs improved. They also molded my hands to help me get the shape right--and moved them through the air in the correct way. Hearing children of deaf parents know from the very beginning that their parents are Deaf and know to sign to their parents and speak to the hearing world without being taught.

What do you think about cochlear implants? I feel that some medical people were too quick to implant devices in the early days--long before the devices had been perfected. Many of the people who received cochlear implants early on were disappointed that the quality was so poor. It's a difficult decision to have an implant because you must do so much auditory training. You have to have the devices adjusted frequently. Also, there are some extreme sports you're not allowed to do ever. As one Deaf man pointed out to me, we don't know what advances will come along in the future. Who knows what the long-term effects are of having implants in your cranium? The medical establishment, early on, made the mistake of forbidding Deaf people who had implants to use American Sign Language. By rejecting Deaf culture, the medical establishment unnecessarily alienated many of the people they wanted as patients. That has changed, I believe, and now there is more acceptance of signing with implantation--in some circles. One other appalling outcome was that even when it was discovered that there was a high rate of people who had received the implants who contracted meningitis--a number of them died--the medical community hid that fact. Now people who receive cochlear implants are inoculated against meningitis. Thank goodness.

Do you think your parents have an influence on you as a person today and do you think you would see people differently if your parents had not been deaf and you hadn't been introduced to deaf culture? I think my life would have been far less interesting if I hadn't grown up with Deaf parents. I doubt I would be a writer--helping my parents with their letters and notes all these years certainly has honed my writing and editing skills. I hope that I'm a kinder, more sensitive person as a result of having Deaf parents. And by being a sign language interpreter I've done many things I would never in a million years have done otherwise. I've hung out in the South Bronx with a Deaf street gang, the Nasty Homicides, writing a magazine article about them. The situations have been difficult--for example I've interpreted for a father and daughter having a horrendous argument, in federal court when people were been sentenced to prison terms, in doctors' offices when people received extremely bad news. I've also had joyous experiences: interpreting for a woman giving birth; giving people good news when they received a job, for example. And I even got to interpret for the President of the United States on national television--on all three networks simultaneously. That was pretty exciting.

Did you teach Kate, you daughter, to sign? How does she feel about deaf culture? Yes, absolutely, Kate began learning sign language in tandem with spoken language. In fact, when my husband and I were choosing a name, we were careful to pick one that my parents could pronounce easily. Kate's name sign is the tip of a "K" at the cheek because she has dimples. I'm very proud to say she embraces Deaf culture--and her grandparents, my parents—are incredibly loving and proud of her.