Elvis Clone Reveals Madonna S UFO Diet

Elvis Clone Reveals Madonna’s UFO Diet Gas Station Competition Heats Up in Texas By Leon Wormlet Not many people stop at Earl’s Gas Station outside of Abilene, Texas anymore. Since the state started work on Interstate 75, a detour has re-routed most of the highway traffic more than two miles away from the once prosperous filling station that now bakes quietly by itself in the hot Texas afternoon sun. The locals who used to come for a fill-up or just to chew the fat with Lefty Rugburn, the station’s owner since 1967, are few and far between now. Most former customers now choose to refill at the nearby Gas-A-Rama, the brainchild of Dallas businessman Stuart Romley. At the Gas-A-Rama, you can not only get a full tank of gasoline, diesel, or propane, but the hungry driver can also fill up on sushi, caviar, or menudo. “Best menudo in the county,” boasts the clerk. It’s made fresh daily at the Gas-A-Rama. For time consuming services such as an oil change or engine overhaul, the lucky driver can select from among three first-run movies at the Gas-A-Rama’s built-in theater, or while away the time in the piano bar. The Gas-A-Rama reading room opens at 9:00 every morning and stocks a dozen daily newspapers. “Elvis Clone Reveals Madonna’s Secret UFO Diet,” trumpets a tabloid on the rack near the cash register. One wonders if the only thing missing is a golf course. Construction of a putting green and driving range is slated for next June. Romley, an Australian immigrant, built the Gas-A-Rama over an abandoned nuclear waste dump. “The land was just too cheap to pass up.” he smiles. Places like the Gas-A-Rama are nothing new in the Australian outback. When Romley was a child, his father managed the biggest filling station in the Southern hemisphere. “We had people coming from all over. There even were organized tours from Japan and the Philipines.” he recalls. With those memories, Romley embarked on the largest venture of his career, borrowing six million dollars to build and stock the business he calls “his oasis in the Texas wild country.” Business is so good that Romley will be building another Gas-A-Rama ousted of Bakersfield, CA next June. Each new facility will have its own theme. Romley is considering a variety of ideas: The Barbie Gas-A-Rama. All attendants will don clothes typical of Barbie and Ken. Buildings will be constructed of vinyl covered cardboard. Gas-A-Rama-A-Go-Go. Live entertainment plus a low cover charge are expected to bring in the younger customers Our Blessed Nozzle. This will feature a 2 minute non-denominational service with every fill-up. More Inside…