Incidental music Memorial Service TRACK # 3,5,6,8,12 & 13 The Chapel, the Canberra Hospital For music before and after service 1pm Tuesday 26 May 2016

Prelude MUSIC – TRACK #4 - Peace of the Spirit from ‘The Celtic Spirit’ album

Welcome (Jean)

As long as we can dream, As long as we can think As long as we have memory We will love you.

Welcome everyone. My name is Jean Shannon and I am a member of the Canberra Hospital Spiritual Support Services. It is a great honour for me to be part of this special memorial service. You may have met some of my pastoral support colleagues and I invite you to join us after the service for afternoon tea where you can talk with each other and meet more of the team and volunteers. I have also brought my camera. After the service, with the assistance of our Tobin Bros representatives, you can take photos of your baby’s casket. If you do not have a camera, we will take the photo and send you prints in the next few days. You are welcome to join your baby in the photos.

We are gathered here to honour these precious little ones who were with us for only a short time. We come together as community to reach out to each other in respect and care and support. This is a time for mothers and fathers to acknowledge and share their pain. We hope that you may find peace in sharing this service with others who have been touched in some way by the same experience. After the service the ashes of these babies will be scattered at the memorial site at Norwood Park. The inscription on the memorial stone is ‘Gone from our days; cherished in our memories.’ There are photos and maps available and you are welcome to visit there at any time. Families visit this area and often place mementos there for their babies. It has become a place of caring and silent friendship as parents share their loss. Deacon Joe –will introduce the memorial candle.

page 1 Lighting of memorial candle (Joe) Candles are a universal symbol of light and hope. Kristy, from the Chaplaincy and Pastoral Care team will light the memorial candle to remind us of the brevity of all life and also to signify the hope that peace will be yours.

This candle represents our grief. The pain of losing children is intense. It reminds us of the depth of our love for them.

This candle represents our courage: to confront the sorrow; to comfort each other; to change our lives.

This candle is the light of our love. As we share this memorial service together we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for the children.

We give thanks for the gift of their life.

Lighting individual candles (Jean)

And now we will light a light for every child and family. For safety, may I ask you to start by placing the lit candles from the back of the sand nearest the altar filling the spaces forward towards the chairs.

We are giving light to our feelings. We are making an offering of love. We are shedding light into the darkness of this trial –, igniting hope, respecting grief and recognising loss. As I call your name – would the parents come forward and light their individual candles.

Kristy Edwards will light candles on behalf of the families who cannot be with us today.

Lighting general candles Anyone who would like to light a candle please come forward and do so. These candles represent the love and prayers that we as community wish to share with the families of these babies.

page 2 MUSIC - TRACK #1 - Deep Peace, Swoon Collection III.

First Reading— (Clem )

None of us knows how long a life will be. But whether it be for 10, 40, 80 years or only a few weeks in gestation, that life is complete when death closes the circle. In that light, the lives of each of these tiny ones is complete.

Dorothy McRae McMahon said: The little life touched earth very lightly, Leaving their fragile footsteps in our hearts, But unable to hold them to the ground. Their spirits have now spread their wings and joined universal life in the mysteries of procreation, Beyond our understanding or our holding.

They did not leave us through lack of love, Nor because there was more that we should have done, The choices were not our own, The miracle is that this brief time with us Was enough for the creation of love.

Our pain in letting go is the honouring of the love Which began in us And which is now carried forth into all the winds of the skies And the tides of the seas into the shining of the sun and the gentle light of the moon. It is travelling in the tiny life of our baby In whatever form they now exist Even if that existence only lies within us In the deepest reaches of our souls.

Reflection (Jean /Neale??? The loss of a baby is not easy to come to terms with. It is not only the loss of a wanted child that is mourned, but also the loss of the hopes and dreams that their family already had for sharing their life. It is the suspension of plans and sentences that started with ‘after the baby is born…’

page 3 Parents grieve because they will not be able to enjoy seeing this little one as they grow through childhood to maturity. There is an unimaginable hole where so many things were going to change…and they have, but in a different way. No one can describe the ache of a grieving mother. The depth of the loss is more than physical. It is a pain expressed in body and soul. Fathers sometimes feel helpless. They have been external to this experience and men have different ways and sometimes, no way, to express their grief. Grandparents are not only deeply saddened about the grandchild they did not know but they grieve for the sorrow their own children have to suffer. Brothers and sisters have lost a playmate and friend they may have been looking forward to. It is very difficult to find words of comfort or consolation in these circumstances. All we can say is that grief goes hand in hand with love. It is because of the love that had already grown around these little ones that we are now grieving their loss. They blessed this earth fleetingly but they remain permanently in hearts and memories. They knew the love that parents bestow on their babies from the time of conception—even earlier, in the hopes and anticipation of the miracle of creation. Let us now give thanks for the brief life of each of these little ones in a time of quiet reflection. You may use this time to pray; to reflect; to say goodbye in your own way.

MUSIC –TRACK #2 - ‘Peace be With You’, Words and music by Shaina Noll

Before we say goodbye (Chris Pond )

This is the time in the service where we invite parents to have a say. You might have a special poem; a letter you want to read – or just something on your heart you need to express. Please come forward.

Silence – wait until it’s uncomfortable and if no-one responds or after there have been responses ….

Mothers and fathers, you are not alone. We are here together, ordinary human beings Who travel through life’s pain and possibility, Holding onto each other with surprising courage and strength, Facing each day and each moment, whatever it may hold. In your grieving we are with you. Even the great spirit of this land which knows ways of survival and struggle, Enfolds you in welcome and care. In your silence and pain - you are not forgotten.

page 4 Let us, in silence, give thanks for the life of this child Wherever she/he may now be. Some of us may want to give thanks to within our faith tradition to that, which is sacred and gives us life. Others may simply want to reflect in gratitude.

Silence

All these, our thoughts and prayers are now gathered together in strength and love. Let it be so. Amen Adapted from D McRae-McMahon

Committal Clem?

It is time to return these precious little ones to the natural cycle of life and death.

Spirit of Life, listen to our prayers and thoughts for the little ones we honour here today. As we entrust their bodies to a place of rest, grant them light and peace. May the gift that each one has been, always live on in the hearts and memories of their families. May peace, strength and understanding grow from this sorrow, and enrich those who grieve.

The Lord’s Prayer - You are welcome to join me in the Lord’s prayer.

Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil For thine is the kingdom The power and the glory Forever and ever. Amen.

page 5 Final Blessing - Jean

I would like to thank each of you for coming to this very special service. With help from Julie & _____ from Tobin Bros, I will stay behind and take photos of each casket. If you would like a family photo, please let me know. You are welcome to take your individual candle and flowers as a reminder of the continued love, support and prayers of us all. We have small gift bags to put them in. Please join us in the courtyard? for a cuppa. Our volunteers will show you the way And now for our final blessing…..

May the Love of the universe sustain you. May the spirit of Love and Life be a refuge and strength in your sorrow. May it enable you to grieve your loss and to honour your little one as you continue your life’s journey. May you find the courage to face life and joy anew.

And may you be blessed with peace.

Thankyou and go well. MUSIC - TRACK # 3- Brahms’s Lullaby from Symphony of Lullabies

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