Why You Need to Read This

WHY YOU NEED TO READ THIS custodial parent, before they even consider powerful cousins, child abuse protection orders way to get a broader perspective on your case. giving the father physical custody of his own (51A’s), many if not most divorces in the Following are some of the questions you should If you are a father entering into divorce children. The reasons for this are many and commonwealth now take place in a thoroughly ask a prospective attorney. The answers that you proceedings, how you survive the process is complex, and are beyond the scope of this hostile environment, where the breakdown get should provide you with an insight into the largely dependent on how knowledgeable you pamphlet. [Suffice it to say that the reasons between the parties becomes irreparable. attorney's competence and honesty. become about the legal process. The single most result from agenda-driven policies in gender · Is there bias in favor of women in family important fact you need to know ahead of time is relations prevalent throughout the judicial and If you are in a powerless situation because court? that custody decisions at the trial court level are legislative systems, the financial motivations of of a 209A or a 51A or other reason, you may · Is he/she willing to argue against setting governed by a rule that you will not find a government that is always seeking ways to have little recourse but to fight aggressively for child support for the NCP at the Guideline inscribed in the law books. Here is the unwritten increase revenues and cut spending, and public sole custody to protect your children's needs; established rate? rule of divorce: and private institutions that directly benefit from otherwise you may become another · What kind of success has the attorney had in "In contested custody cases, primary child support awards that are as high as Massachusetts throwaway dad, relegated to the representing men? physical custody is to be awarded to the possible.] outer margins of your children’s lives. You will · Will he/she provide a client reference that mother, and the father will bear the need an attorney who will lay the groundwork you can contact? financial costs of raising the children in DIVORCE ATTORNEYS for an appeal of your divorce judgment, because · Does the attorney believe in the benefits to his role as the non-custodial parent paying you probably will not gain custody at the trial children of shared physical custody? child support to the mother at the rate If you intend to hire an attorney to handle your level. · Is the attorney unduly concerned about your established by the Massachusetts Child divorce, it is vitally important that you exercise personal finances and assets? Support Guideline." sound judgment in choosing the attorney and HIRING AN ATTORNEY working cooperatively with him or her. MAKE A WRITTEN AGREEMENT Exceptions to this rule may occur, but such Cost. Your divorce is going to cost you more WITH YOUR ATTORNEY cases are extremely rare and result from either of All experienced divorce attorneys know the than you can afford. So, you must be prepared to the following causes: unwritten rule of divorce stated previously, and go into substantial debt. Since you will incur When you have chosen an attorney, draft a · The mother has committed serious criminal that bias in favor of women is the norm in debt regardless, you might as well spend the statement to be signed jointly when the other acts which have been proven in the Probate Court. And they will advise you of the money where it will do you and your children formal arrangements—such as paying a retainer courtroom. fact that it is generally not worth it for you to the most good. —are made. Here are some of the points you · Unusual circumstances where the mother fight for custody. This may be good advice. · A high-priced attorney is not necessarily a will want in your statement. The specifics of otherwise demonstrated unequivocal Your chances for a healthy future relationship better attorney. Standard rates are between your case will dictate what else should be added. parental unfitness. with your children may best be accomplished $100 and $250 per hour. · A statement regarding your goal and a basic Note that there is no guarantee that a father will when you work with the mother. Divorce · You will be asked to pay a retainer before strategy to accomplish it. be awarded physical custody if one of these mediation is ideal, and there are many who are the attorney takes your case. Typical · Specific courses of action regarding the conditions is true, they are stated only as pushing for mandatory divorce mediation as a retainers are in the $2,000 to $5,000 range. legal issues that you are currently faced with necessary conditions. cornerstone to meaningful divorce reform. (e.g., restraining order). Interviewing attorneys. Consult as many · Specific courses of action with respect to Relegating fathers to the non-custodial However. You may be in a situation where attorneys as you need to until you find one that issues that you think are likely to arise (e.g., parent (NCP) financial support role is so working with the mother is not possible. is right for you. Seek out lawyers who have been restraining order). ingrained in the court system that judges have Because of the courts' policies of rubber- recommended to you by other fathers who have · Important! An agreement on what developed a policy of allowing divorcing fathers stamping requests by women for abuse gone through divorce. Some attorneys will evidence is going to be introduced into the to be the custodial parent only of last resort, after protection orders (a.k.a. 209A restraining provide initial consultations free of charge; some record. If you are intending to appeal, be other possibilities have been exhausted. For orders)1, and similar abuse of their more charge a flat fee—perhaps ½ of their hourly rate. aware that appellate decisions are made only instance, the court may look to a female relative These initial consultations can be an excellent 1For more information on dealing with restraining on what is in the record at the time of the of an unfit mother—her mother or sister—as the orders, see "FATHERS AT RISK - Preventing False Accusations of Domestic Abuse" trial. The trial judge's decision cannot be questioned based on information that was etc., but you must maintain a personal file on all a letter stating your understanding of the not in the record at the time of the trial. aspects of your case. arrangement. Always have a paper trail. Managing Your Make sure your attorney knows that you · Child Support/DOR - Maintain a separate intend to appeal an unfavorable judgment, so Make sure that you order tapes of all file for all correspondence between you and Divorce that the record is "loaded up" appropriately. hearings immediately following a court date. the Department of Revenue Child Support · The financial details of your arrangement. Alternatively, hire a court reporter for your Division. The reason for this will become · Stipulate that you are to receive copies of all hearings. Make sure you get the transcripts. The apparent very quickly, if it hasn't already. It court correspondences relevant to your case, official record of the hearings will prove to be is especially essential to keep detailed and are to be kept up-to-date on all legal critical if your case goes to trial, and even more records of all child support payments. activity. so if you have to appeal. · Billing procedures. Make sure that all Now available from C.P.F. billable expenses are itemized on the Keep a journal and record all activities that attorney's monthly statements. may have a bearing on your case. Maintain a file "FATHERS AT RISK: system with the following folders: Advice for Men on Preventing False YOUR END OF THE CLIENT- · Filed - All documents that have been filed in Accusations of Domestic Abuse" ATTORNEY RELATIONSHIP your court docket, constituting your copy of suggested donation: $1.00 'The Record.' · Evidence - All documents that may be used A successful client-attorney relationship is built "How to Manage Encounters with GALs, DSS as evidence: letters from the mother, medical on a clear establishment of the ground rules of and Visitation Centers: reports, police reports, letters to and from the arrangement—put into writing—and mutual A Primer for Falsely Accused Fathers" school officials, photographs, letters from The Fatherhood Coalition trust and respect. Do not make the mistake of suggested donation: $2.00 your children, etc. using your attorney in a role that he/she is not PO Box 8051, Boston MA 02114 · Children - Save all documentation that suited for, i.e., a therapist. If you need emotional "Domestic Violence/Abuse Fact Sheet" (617) 723-DADS relate to your children and save all receipts and psychological help—which you undoubtedly suggested donation: $5.00 from expenses incurred while they are in will—seek it at the appropriate places: from A non-profit organization of men and women your care. family, friends, professional counseling, your "The Father Times" providing advocacy for fatherhood · GAL - A guardian ad litem (GAL) is a place of worship, etc. Nothing sours a client- CPF quarterly newsletter: $20 per year person, usually a social worker or attorney, attorney relationship faster than a distraught July 1996 appointed by the court to represent the client who calls his attorney at every emotional interests of your children, and file a report crisis. For emotional support, consult a fathers with recommendations to the court on their support group. At CPF, we can refer you to a behalf. Maintain a record of all paperwork support group in your area. from the GAL's appointment.2 · School - Maintain a file for all school MAINTAIN A PERSONAL reports and correspondence from you FATHERS RECORD OF YOUR CASE child[ren]'s school. · Attorney - Copies of all correspondence Good record keeping is essential to keeping your between you and your attorney. Important! head above water as your case develops. Your Always follow up verbal arrangements with attorney will have a file containing relevant AT RISK court documents pertaining to pre-trial motions 2Generally speaking, GAL's are not a good use of your financial resources as they reflect the inherent anti-father bias in the system.