The National Basketball Association

We go through sports cycles in this Country. You don’t have to be a fan of the sport to enjoy the World Series, the Super Bowl, the Stanley Cup, the Master’s golf, the tennis Open or the Kentucky Derby.

You don’t have to be a big basketball fan to get interested in the NBA championship series coming up and for those of you who don’t normally follow the game, I have some basic information about the teams and the players.

There are a lot of numbers here so pay attention.

There are twenty-nine teams. Each team has twelve players.

More than half of them make more than a million dollars. Michael Jordan has the highest salary, $30 million for eight months’ work. During the season, Jordan scored 2,431 points. That means he was paid $12,341 for every point he scored.

Jordan doesn’t have to scrape along on that though because he also does endorsements for a lot more than that.

Of the 348 players in the NBA, 280 are black, 68 are white.

All but ten players are more than six feet tall. Thirty-two of them are at least seven feet tall.

The shortest American player is Muggsy Bogues. He’s five feet three inches.

The tallest American player is a Mormon named Shawn Bradley.

One of the biggest problems a basketball player has is finding a comfortable hotel room. The bed is never long enough for Shawn. Taking a shower is a problem because he’s taller than the shower head. Wherever he walks, he’s ducking his head.

Shawn’s team, the Dallas Mavericks, isn’t in the playoffs this year but it doesn’t matter. It is such a certainty that the Chicago Bulls will win the championship again this year that I am going to make another offer. You may recall I offered $1 million reward to anyone who found the murderer of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald

1 Goldman. I have not had to pay that amount so I’m in good shape financially and if the Chicago Bulls do not win the NBA championship, I will personally write a check for one thousand dollars, made out to O.J. Simpson, to help him pay the $33 million judgment against him.

From Andy Rooney, Years of Minutes, pp. 364-365.