Chapter 13 the Sacrament of Matrimony

Liturgy and Worship Chapter 13 – The Sacrament of Matrimony PRAYER  Open My Mind for Life’s Companions Lord Jesus, You were once a student like me. You studied God’s law, the history of your people, and a trade by which to earn a living. You lived with Mary and Joseph in a human family, made steady progress in understanding, and yearned to discover your vocation in life. Open my mind to the truth of things. Help me to find good friends for life’s companions. Help me to know if part of my vocation in life will later include the commitment of marriage. If so, guide me as I grow up to find that lifetime partner who will join me in mirroring Christ’s loving relationship with his Church. And give me courage to live my life in the light of your gospel. Amen. OPENING LESSON  Discuss: A wedding ceremony lasts an hour. A marriage lasts a lifetime. How is marriage viewed by the media and society? How is marriage viewed by the Church?

 Identify the Banns of Matrimony in the church paper. Pray for the couples because the success of their marriage is important to our community.

 Group discussion: What do you think makes a good marriage? ACTIVITIES  Why do you think it is important for a couple to prepare for the sacrament of Matrimony? Have you ever seen a movie or television show in which two people rushed into marriage? What was the outcome? Was the couple happy? Write down your own thoughts; then share your ideas as a group.

 Break into small groups. Each will be provided with a list of key facts from a section of Chapter 13 (sample included). The group is to prepare a presentation for the class which presents the facts provided to them. However, they are to include one piece of misinformation in the presentation. At the conclusion of each presentation, the rest of the class will try to figure out what the misinformation was.

 Provide students with the handout Assessing Your Interpersonal Skills (sample included). Together as a class, review each of the questions. The goal is to teach the students that they can prepare for a successful marriage later in their life by taking time today to examine their personalities. If there are areas where they need improvement, they can start to take action today.

 Handout – How Well Do You Know…The People in Jesus’ Life? Sample included. Answers: 1-G 2-D 3-I 4-A 5-K 6-C 7-J 8-B 9-E 10-F 11-H

 Draw two interlocking wedding rings on the board and have students define matrimony (sacred covenant uniting a baptized man and a baptized woman as partners for their whole life). Have volunteers write in the space surrounding the rings words and phrases describing the Christian ideal of marriage (equal partners, true love commitment to each other’s good, finding God at the center of their mutual love, sharing love with children, a gift to the Church and the world). Discuss positive and negative ways in which media presents love and sexuality. Compare to the Catholic view of marriage (the priest is a witness while the bride and groom are the ministers of Matrimony; when vows are pronounced, they no longer are two but one which should enable unselfishness, support and generosity; the sacrament strengthens them and helps build their family on a rock foundation of faith in Christ).

 Have 5 students present The Dating Game (sample included) to the class. Discuss.

of 5 Liturgy and Worship Chapter 13 – The Sacrament of Matrimony Key Facts

The Sacrament of Marriage 1. There is more to marriage than the feeling of romance we see in the movies. 2. A civil marriage license is issued by the state. Requirements usually include a minimum age and a blood test. 3. All of society is based on and depends on marriage. 4. For Catholics, marriage is more than a legal contract. In the sacrament of Matrimony, a baptized man and a baptized woman commit themselves to each other as partners for life. The partnership is sacred and mirrors the relationship Christ has with His church. 5. Men and women are to be equal partners. They are to be open to procreation and education of children.

A Life-giving Sign of Grace 1. Like all the sacraments, Matrimony is a public act. The bride and groom speak their vows aloud before God and the community. The priest or deacon accepts these vows as the Church’s official witness. There must also be two other witnesses. 2. Also a priest or deacon must be present in order for it to be a valid Catholic wedding. The priest acts as a witness for the Catholic Church. 3. The bride and groom are the ministers of the sacrament.

Getting Ready 1. When a couple decides to marry, it is because they have decided to spend the rest of their lives together. 2. They become engaged and announce their intention. 3. When one or both of them are Catholic, they meet with the parish priest, deacon, or other minister to begin a time of preparation. It takes special preparation due to the seriousness of the commitment. 4. The priest or minister helps the couple decide if they are ready for marriage. 5. Some people are unable to make this type of commitment in Christ. Some try too early. Others fail to work at the marriage.

Real Love 1. Catholics can never take the attitude that “We can always divorce if it doesn’t go well.” 2. We believe that the sacrament of Matrimony forms an indissoluble bond – a bond that can never be broken. 3. Real love, based in Christ, lasts forever.

Celebrating Marriage 1. Like every other sacrament, Matrimony reveals something of the paschal mystery. When two Catholics celebrate the sacrament of Matrimony, they celebrate their willingness to imitate and encounter Christ in their lives of service, in the dying and risings, and sorrows and joys of family life. 2. It is fitting that the rite of marriage be celebrated with a nuptial mass. 3. The sacrament of Matrimony is similar to the other sacraments in that it has the following (see book for descriptions): gathering, storytelling, exchange of vows, meal sharing, and commissioning.

Are You Ready for Marriage? 1. You are not yet ready for marriage. Readiness for a lifelong commitment demands a certain maturity, an ability to care for and support a family, and an awareness of the challenges and responsibilities that joining one’s life to another’s demands. 2. You are working on preparing for marriage now by working on your personality traits and interpersonal traits. 3. The following interpersonal skills are important in marriage: listening, taking criticism, handling anger, managing money, etc.

of 5 Liturgy and Worship Chapter 13 – The Sacrament of Matrimony

Assessing Your Interpersonal Skills

The following questionnaire is a sample of the kinds of questions engaged couples are asked. Such a questionnaire can help the couple to become aware of their own personalities and their ability to communicate with others. Those who work on developing their interpersonal skills are headed toward satisfying friendships and, in time, a good marriage.

 Am I a good listener? How do I show this?

 How do I deal with criticism?

 What do I do when I am angry? How do I solve the problem?

 Do I spend money wisely?

 Do I give positive feedback to others? Do I thank them when I am grateful for their help or support?

 Do I talk over problems with the person or the persons directly involved?

 If I have a serious problem or need, do I talk it over with an adult I can trust?

 Do I look for ways to help others when I can?

 Do I show respect for others in my speech, saying “please”, “thank you”, etc.?

 Do I apologize when I’ve made a mistake or caused a problem?

 What is my reaction when my plans are upset for some reason?

 Have I learned to play with and watch over young children safely?

 Do I speak with adults respectfully and courteously?

 How do I treat the elderly people I meet?

How Well Do You Know…The People in Jesus’ Life?

Try to match up the people who lived in Jesus’ time, who, for better or worse, were involved with Jesus and His ministry with the people of Israel.

1. ___ Put Jesus’ body in his tomb a. Mary

2. ___ Mary’s cousin and John’s mother b. Joseph

3. ___ The first to find Jesus’ empty tomb c. Peter

4. ___ The mother of Jesus d. Elizabeth

5. ___ Carried Jesus’ cross for Him e. John the Baptist

6. ___ Jesus’ first apostle f. Judas Iscariot

7. ___ A criminal freed in Jesus’ place g. Joseph of Aramathea

8. ___ Jesus’ earthly father h. Pontius Pilate

9. ___ Preached to prepare for Jesus i. Mary Magdalene

10. ___ The apostle who betrayed Jesus j. Barabbas

11. ___ The Roman who condemned Jesus k. Simon of Cyrene

The Dating Game

Girl: Bachelor #1 – If you and I fall in love and get married, how will you show me that you love me? B #1: I will bring you flowers every day and write you romantic letters. Girl: How about you, Bachelor #3? B #3: I will listen to you and be open and honest with you. I will share my dreams and my thoughts with you.

Girl: Bachelor #2 – I have always thought that four children is a perfect family. Two boys and two girls so each can have a same sex sibling. How many children would you like to have and why? B #2: Oh, I’ve always wanted at least six children. I loved that show, The Brady Bunch, on TV. Girl: Bachelor #1 – same question. B #1: Oh, I wouldn’t want to have any children. It would be great to be just you and me forever.

Girl: Bachelor #3 – I would like to be a stay-at-home mom; I want to be the one to raise my children, not a daycare worker. How can we make a one-income family work? B #3: We would need to wait to have children and we’d have to work hard for several years, saving money and getting our home ready. Then when it comes time to have children, you can stay home. Girl: Bachelor #1? B #1: Oh, I think that you would have a lot more fun as a career woman. We can work together to build our careers and go to the top together and make millions. Girl: Okay, same question Bachelor #2. B #2: Well, I guess it would work out all right if we bought a used trailer and rented a lot from old man Farley. He has a well. I just know he’d let us have a few eggs from his hen and some milk from one of the cows.

Girl: Bachelor #1 – What would you do if an emergency operation on a tumor on my face resulted in nerve damage, giving me a goofy expression on my face. The doctor says it would always be that way – nothing could be done. B #1: I would spare no expense to find the greatest doctors in the world to help fix this horrible disfigurement. Girl: How about you, Bachelor #3? B #3: I would reassure you that you were still just as beautiful to me and that I would stand by your side proudly, always.

Announcer: Okay, now you have to choose which bachelor would make the best husband. Will it be Bachelor #1, Bachelor #2, or Bachelor #3?