President: George Collier

March 2007

Rotary Club of Eastbourne (1922 – 2007) President: David Coe

Secretary: Arnold Cornish

Treasurer: Colin Middleton

www.eastbournerotary.org.uk

President’s March madness

Another busy period since the last bulletin. On Wednesday February 21st twenty of us including guests went to Chinatown restaurant for a Chinese New Year Banquet. It really was a brilliant meal. I think most of us ate far too much. My thanks to Ken Rawlings for organising the evening, and thanks to Hung Zho for making us so welcome. Sad to remember that Bill McDuff died just a year ago, March 20th 2006.

On Saturday February 24th we enjoyed a French evening with the Inner Wheel club. Lots of laughs and great entertainment.

On February 19th Michael Johnson came and spoke to us about the Eastbourne Family Contact Centre. This is another of those charities which are essential but which of little is known. The contact centre is a resource where separated families or parents can meet with their children for time together.

The evening of March 5th was spent with our ladies at the Chatsworth where we had an excellent meal and then heard from Rotarian Roy Butler on his experiences over 27 years with the Antiques Roadshow. Thanks to Bob Hamblyn for organising the speaker and Arnold for the hotel arrangements.

Wednesday March 8th saw 8 of us including wives at the Picassos restaurant for the A.M clubs charity evening, raising money to send a cow to India. More good food. I think I’ve put on half a stone since last July.

As a result of our fund raising at the Carol Concert for the Children’s ward at the DGH, Bryan Parker and I were invited to tour the Children’s ward on Thursday March 8th. The staff there are so dedicated. The greatest joy was that there were only two residents in the ward. However, before we left they had seen further (not so serious) patients. Allan Budgett has expressed to me how sincerely grateful he and Doreen were for the help they received from club members in shipping him back and forth to Brighton for treatment over many weeks. How grateful I am not allowed to tell you but trust me.

I also understand from Allan Woolley that many of you also helped him when he was in a similar situation awhile ago. In these days when the world and his wife only seem to think of themselves, I have to say you guys are just wonderful.

As we go to press I have just had the sad news that Philip Clear an Honorary member, died this morning (20/3/07). Philip was in the DGH some weeks ago and when I saw him he was really chirpy. As you probably know he lived on his own but had just arranged to move into the Queen Alexandra homes which is where he died. An amazing man for although he was 92 he was always with us on Mondays. Any social gatherings he would be there and when we call for help with transport at Christmas - he was there………..scary I know but at least he was willing….a true Rotarian and not just a club member.

On a brighter note Christopher Dean Asst. Secretary, is recovering well after his knee operation. He is at home so give him a call.

Phyllis and I would like to wish you all a happy Easter and if you have any problems do telephone either Bob Hamblyn or Arnold Cornish

David Coe KUMBANG and PEDAGOGUE

Do you know the meaning of these words? Kumbang is either; an Australian boomerang; a strong wind in Java; or a motorised rickshaw. And Pedagogue is either talking with your feet; an ancient guardian of City of London; or a teacher.

These are just two of the words described by our cerebral trio of Paul Harris, David Lambird and Chris Smith in a most entertaining rendition of Call My Bluff competition against the Past Rotarians at Royal Eastbourne Golf Club on 24th January

At one stage there was some amusing audience participation when Chris revealed his true description of the word Tombac as being a copper and zinc alloy used in cheap jewellery. In order to confuse the opponents in his description Chris suggested that on one of his many visits abroad he bought some Tombac jewellery as a present…….

The Past Rotarians team of Alan Punshon, Frank Walker, and George Potier, rushed into an early lead in the competition and despite valiant attempts by the Chairman Bob Hamblyn to adjust the scoring the Past Rotarians maintained the lead winning 6 – 4

And what is the True meaning of those two words? Kumbang is a wind in Java and Pedagogue is a preceptor or teacher. Just two of the several words that you could have added to your personal dictionary for use at your next cocktail party if you had attended this most enjoyable evening.

Frank Eveleigh.

Want to Raise Money for Your Pet Project - Favourite Charity or Organisation?

Get sponsorships and Join hundreds of other Sponsored walkers walk Eastbourne Seafront on Spring Bank Holiday - 28th May 2007 - Eastbourne Rotary's Annual Funwalk./Funday

308 walkers took part in the 2006 Funwalk and raised almost £13,000 – for their own good causes. You too can raise lots of cash, quickly, on Spring Bank Holiday 2007

Please ring Beckett Newspapers on 01323 722091. They will send you as many free Sponsorship Forms as you require. The sponsorship forms contain full instructions on registering routes (1.5 to 6 miles in length) – etc. All are welcome, children, pensioners, physically challenged, this is an inclusive evnt.

After the event Eastbourne Rotary will invoice you for 10% of your sponsorships to cover their expenses.

Ring 01323 722091 - TODAY - Get your sponsorship forms and start collecting your sponsors.

P.S. Registered charities can apply for a free pitch on Western Lawns on the 28th May 2007 – Rotary Funday - e-mail [email protected] for more details.

Bill Tozer

Allan Woolley’s South Africa Trip

Having recently returned from South Africa many of you have probably been bored rigid with accounts of the Woolley trip.

Whilst in Plettenberg Bay our Rotarian host took Gill and myself to the R/C of PB evening meeting. The format followed much the same as our own but whilst they all discussed their business we noticed there was virtually no humour.

The President, soon to resign I learned, presides over some 24 members (down from 30 last year) and whilst worthy work is done and a lot of money raised it seems to be tackled like an assault course.

We discussed this over dinner with our host - Guy La Motte who owns the Tarn Country House (known to several of our members) and we all felt it was this over-serious, dogged approach which was certainly not helping recruitment.

Sometimes we may think that the ribald comments and humorous one- liners which punctuate our meetings are not quite appropriate but having seen the alternative I know which I prefer.

Allan Woolley Temperature Extremes (in Degrees 'C')

+20 - Greeks put on sweaters (if they can find them). +15 - Hawaiians turn on the heaters (if they have them). +10 - Americans shake, Russians are planting cucumbers . +5 - You can see your own breathing. Italian cars don't start. Norwegians take a bath. Russians drive with lowered windows. 0 - Water freezes in America, in Russia it thickens. -5 - French cars don't start. -10 - You're planning a vacation to Australia. -15 - Your cat insists on sleeping in your bed. Norwegians put on sweaters.

-18 - New York landlords turn on the heaters. Russians make their last seasonal picnic. -20 - American cars don't start. People in Alaska start wearing long- sleeves. -25 - German cars don't start. Hawaiians are dead. -30 - Politicians start talking about homeless people. Your cat prefers to sleep in your pajamas. -35 - Too cold to think. Japanese cars don't start. -40 - You're planning a 2-week hot tub bath. Swedish cars don't start. -42 - Transportation stops in Europe. Russians eat ice cream on the street.

-45 - All Greeks are dead. Politicians really start doing something for the homeless. -50 - Your eyelids start sticking when you blink. In Alaska, people close the window in the bathroom. -60 - White bears start moving south. -70 - The hell froze. -73 - Finnish special services evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland. Russians wear earmuff hats. -80 - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets. -114 - Ethyl alcohol is freezing. Russians are unhappy. -273 - Absolute zero, atomic movement stops. Russians wear boots. -295 - 90% of the planet is dead. Russian soccer team becomes the world champion Courtesy of Ken Rawlings The Meaning of Peace?

I confess that as a citizen of the world, I struggle to understand the meaning of Peace.

Young men and women are packed into lorries Like charcoal in an undersized bag And driven to their death.

Why should young people be forced to die And then be honoured as heroes and peacemakers? Isn’t peace supposed to be peaceful?

The leaders do not understand the mother’s pain As she buries her son, her successor To them he is just part of the statistics In the analysis of peacemaking.

They do not understand the anguish In the face of the man Forced to watch as his wife is gang raped. To unconsciousness and certain death. Nor the knife through his heart As his daughter becomes the next victim Of gang defilement.

The leaders do not understand the man’s horror As he stares down the barrel of a gun And sees no light at the end of that tunnel.

The leaders are focused on the Vision.

The little girl casts a lazy eye At her squalid surrounding The acrid smell of urine and dung Engulfs her.

She feels the faint tug at her milk-less breast And looks down at the product of defilement Having a weak show of presence As his life ebbs away. She wonders why the whole world turned against her And snatched her childhood, her whole life! She recalls the overflowing granaries, The joy and laughter that filled her home. She ponders. There was actually peace at her home!

Why then are those people fighting Did they not recognize Peace When she stared them in the face?? Do they really need to use sheer force of arms For something so peaceful? Will they compel the shy and illusive Peace To show her beautiful face?

In the meantime, can’t they find their own match? Must they aim at soft civilian targets? Does Peace hid amongst them?

I plead total ignorance!

I certify beyond the shadow of a doubt That as a citizen of this world I do not understand the meaning of peace.

I beg to be educated! Rotarian Jane Okot P’ Bitek Langoya Rotary Club of Kampala South Courtesy of Chris Smith Joke Corner

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

Courtesy of Margaret Macdonald

Paul and Jane Honney have now moved – please note their new address:

1 The Close Huggetts Lane Willingdon EASTBOURNE East Sussex BN22 0LJ

Telephone 01323 505200 A belated St Patrick’s Day thought

For those of us who aren't full of the Irish here's to you. (With apologies to Bob Mundy)

What is an Irishman ? No disrespect intended An Irishman is a man who....

Has great respect for the truth, he uses it in emergencies

Sees things not as they are but the way they will never be.

Cries at sad movies, but cheers in battle.

Gets more Irish the further he gets from Ireland.

Believes to forgive is divine, therefore doesn't exercise it himself

Considers any Irishman who has achieved success to be a traitor.

Come to think of it the Irish are much like every other tribe.

My Irish wish for you: As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way !

Allan Woolley

27 Tues Visit to 26 Mon Lunch Brighton & Hove - Bill Tozer – The Greyhound Stadium position of the Sahara organised by Community Committee

March Club Diary

Vote of thanks ..