Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 1

Chapter Thirty Seven

She couldn’t say that she regretted loving Colin, for everyday she seemed to love him more. However, they lived in a world where women were traded to another family for prestige or alliances and men were expected to make matches in order to raise their families, or at least keep them where they are. Love was inconsequential. But Nicolette had found a man she loved and who loved her in return. When they finally committed themselves at the ball last night, Colin spoke of love, loyalty and strangely enough— marriage. Nic knew that no matter what befell them, loving Colin was not a mistake.

Sitting in the parlor window, Nicolette dreamily looked at the street, hoping to catch sight of him or receive any word from him. She knew that Colin had gone to Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 2

Claridge to visit his mother’s grave and ask for her permission to be with Nicolette. She knew that his mother would give her blessing from wherever she was now. Nicolette remembered Colin’s mother, Gretchen, as a kind woman full of life much like her sister,

Camilla. Gretchen had been everything to Colin, which was strange to Nicolette who held no memory of her own mother that died soon after childbirth. Nicolette felt her brothers were her lifeline instead.

This is what tore her up inside. Colin had gone to ask his dead mother’s blessing, while Nicolette would have loved to ask her own brothers’ blessings on her commitment with Colin. Though Colin’s mother would assuredly watch over them, Nicolette knew that her brothers would never agree to the match. However, once she made her mind up, her brothers tended to give into her decision. This was different though. The Avenrys were bitter enemies. And this wasn’t a whim of Nicolette’s, but a decision to spend the rest of her life with Colin. Her brothers would sooner lock her away – or kill Colin, as she knew Asher would try – than let her be with an Avenry. No, it was better to sneak away and give her brothers some time to get use to the idea before asking for their acceptance.

She hoped that Colin would send word soon as evening rapidly approached.

Nicolette wondered if today would be the day that he would break his commitment with

Tessa Gray. Or would Colin allow his disappearance be the answer to all his obligations here in London. She had hoped he would at least send word, so the heiress would not lay claim to him any further. Last evening, Tessa and Nic caught sight of each other though only once that evening. Tessa looked towards her as if Nic were nothing but a pane of glass. Tessa never knew Nic was her rival for their shared love. Instead, Tessa saw Nic as unsubstantial as a cloud in the sky that was easily blown away by the wind. In return, Nic Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 3 never envied this white-faced coquette in anything, save one. Tessa held the assurance of

Colin’s life in wedlock. In this, Tessa conducted her relationship with him in distinguished confidence. Nicolette was also unsure if she would ever be allowed to marry Colin, unless he was to give up his title.

Something in the air seemed wrong to her. Nicolette had been concerned with

Colin’s decision to return to Claridge before the pair was to flee this place. Nicolette was worried about Colin running into his father or brother in which he may be provoked into confessing their plans.

She had already sent a trusted valet—one she knew was not loyal to her brothers and so had used him in the past to help with her escapes – to the docks to rent her and

Colin a room. Then the couple would sail in the morning for either Sardinia or Denmark as their brief stop—depending on when they felt safe to leave. Her mind raced with plans of travel, for either location would have been just a first stop. There were so many places she wanted to go.

Now she was even more excited because this was not just an adventure alone, but with Colin. Though she held faith in his commitment, Nicolette didn’t want to lose her family in the process. But she assured herself that it was only for a short period of time while they got use to her devotion to Colin. She already had her letter to her brothers ready, leaning against her jewelry box on her dressing table where they would quickly find it in the morning after she had left the country. She had packed a small trunk to carry herself and hid it in the ally. Nicolette had fled enough times to know what exactly she needed. Not that she was a spoiled lady of society, so only the basic items were—plus enough money to purchase anything else once they were safely tucked away. Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 4

Nicolette leaned forward towards the window as she saw her brother dash up the stairs in all haste.

“Oh, my beautiful sister!” Alex saluted grandly as he burst through the door. He looked as if he had run all the way to her townhome from his. His black hair disheveled and blue-grey eyes sparkling with the exercise.

“Alex?”

“What a remarkable turn since last evening!”

She scurried to the foyer and giggled at his overjoyed state. “Are you drunk?”

He took her hands and looked into each room. “Where is Ash? He must share this news with us.”

“He’s dressing for another evening out.” Nicolette finally pulled her brother to a halt and eagerly asked, “wait, tell me what this is about, Alex.”

“I don’t wish to excite your anticipation any further. Oh, my Nicolette, you have made me so proud.”

“Have I?” She was utterly baffled what this was about, though just the sight of him so ecstatic was infectious and she could not help but smile.

“I want you to know that I didn’t hesitate when the Earl asked for my permission for your hand.”

She suddenly lost all her breath. She must have heard wrong. But her brother’s state was admission to the fact that his words were true. Quickly, Nic held one hand against her chest, as her brocade bodice seemed to be constricting her breathing. Her other hand clung to the molding of the arch between the entryway and the parlor, as she gasped, “what?” Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 5

Ignoring her obvious change in state, he bent to try to hug her. “I knew this was a great choice!”

Shaking, she pushed him back with both her hand and yelled, “you gave me to

Simon?”

Apparently, this wasn’t the reaction he had expected. Alex paused and tilted his head in confusion. “No, I gave him my blessing to marry you… he has asked you, correct?”

“No… of course not!”

“Do you not wish to marry him?”

She stomped back into the parlor in a complete frenzy. Disregarding any sense of propriety, she yelled, “I think Simon is the dullest man I’ve ever met!”

“But you’ve let him call on you?” He quickly followed her.

“Call on me, yes… but to marry him is different.”

With a prolonged pause, Alex’s eyes narrowed over his younger sister. Her violent reaction had now set him in a dreadful position. He had long put up with her dissident actions and childish whims. He had been overjoyed with her sudden change upon finding her in Lisbon and ordering her back to English society and respect.

Moreover, he had not expected her to so obligingly consent to taking on so much of society’s roles for a young lady, but Nic had insisted. Nic had even taken the suit of the man Alex had arranged, though he had never dreamed she would take it. Now every action of Nic’s in the past few months was turned on its head and this sent Alex spinning as well. Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 6

The Noble siblings had always been loyal to each other’s feelings, but now that loyalty was being tested and intervening plans were already in motion.

“Nicolette, I’ve already consented to this marriage—”

“I don’t care.”

“But you’ve been matched with him for two months. I thought you to be sincere of his pursuit. I know in business he is uncompassionate—while some say ruthless –, but he must at least be a worthy man for you to have seen him for this long.”

“He’s an exemplary man, but I can’t—” She broke off, unable to come up with an excuse suitable for her brother. Her whole body was shaking. Leaning against the side of the divan, she looked at her brother’s furious face. She had made him mad plenty of times but this was different. There was no tolerance behind his eyes. No way for her to connive or wiggle out of this predicament. This could be the breaking point of her relationship with Alex—and the thought of such a decision was nearly killing her.

Alex abruptly changed his tone, as she hadn’t given him a solid reason for her tantrum. “Nicolette, I’ve seen you take in suitor after suitor. This is the first you’ve ever seen a man for more than a week. You must think of him partially in earnest.”

“Well you have made an insufferable presumption!” Her foot hammered the floor.

“Marriage? To the Earl? Who do you think I am, brother? To society members marriage is a job without love—it is with only foul pretenses. Shall I just leave myself to a life of idleness? Shall I live for a loveless marriage and spend my day in society gossip? Do you want to squash my soul in the process? Indeed I shall live quite to the contrary, I assure you.” Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 7

“But you have given me every indication of otherwise, Nicolette!” Alex covered his face with his palms and groaned. “Nicky, the decision has already been set to be announced. I can’t stop it.”

“It was a decision made without me!”

In all her years under her brother’s care he had never coerced her into an unsolicited case without reason. Nicolette saw before her, that Alex had made a resolution and firmly decreed to his sister of her station in life. Why? What did he fear for her if she did not get married?

“I’ve never forced you into any unwanted situation, but you have taken advantage of my leniency. Now you must, for the first time in your life, take your responsibility as a member of society, our business, and this family.”

“Which holds the true reason for my marriage? Are you using me for a business deal with Simon?”

“Nicolette this is how alliances between businesses and families are made. This is how our family can be protected. This is how we can be stable and successful in the future. It all lies on you. You’ve known that! I can only do so much.” He must have known any argument with her was fruitless.

“No, Alex, this is simply a disguise for using a family member as whorre!”

“Is there a call for all this yelling?” Asher interrupted from the doorway. He had obviously not been dressing as she assumed and was unshaven with a scruffy black bead starting to form and wearing the same ale-stained pants as the night before. His grey eyes were still drooping with exhaustion and he was obviously irritated by all the commotion.

Alex scoffed, “your sister is unreasonable!” Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 8

“Because he’s forcing me into a marriage with a man I despise!”

“Is this true, Alex?” Asher stood firmly between them, confused.

Alex took a deep breath though it could not temper his dark face that was shaded into red with fury. He tried to reasonably explain. “She has been suited with the Earl for two months and only now does she hate him. She refuses to accept any responsibility for her conduct.”

“It’s not my duty to bed every business partner you wish, Alex.”

He ignored her vulgar remark and continued to speak with Asher. “I wouldn’t have agreed to an alliance of our family with the Earl, unless I truly thought she wanted him for a husband. Our company will flourish with this marriage. Our name’s tarnish would be wiped clean. We can finally be redeemed from our blackened status.”

With his large shoulders rising in an enormous sigh, Asher ran his tanned calloused hands through his long dark hair. Not wanting to look at either of them, he said towards the floor. “Oh, I hate business, its chances are worse than playing at dice or cards.”

Alex threw his arms in the air. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand, Asher.”

“Wait, my brother. Don’t attack me, for I’m in agreement with you.”

“Wait, what?” Nicolette shrieked. She couldn’t believe that Asher agreed with

Alex. Was there something she was missing? Asher had always been the brother to steal her away from this damned society and teach her how to live on her own desires. Now he was selling her into slavery? No, this could not be. She searched Ash’s face for a sign that he held a trick to get her out of this. But his grey eyes were just as intense as Alex’s, Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 9 as the two men held each other’s gaze. It was as if they were silently speaking to each other. Oh, how deceived she had been in her brothers’ characters.

Turning back to her, Asher calmly resolved. “Not because of the alliance, for I care nothing for business, but I just think it’s time for Nicky to settle down.”

“No!” She moved in front of them to command their attention, snapping, “I’d rather leave the family and work for my living. I’d work any job instead… for a stranger in their laundry or as a scullery maid. I would trade any hell then an arranged marriage, because I would be the one who made the choice!”

Her brothers stood blankly staring at her. They had seen her throw many fits, but this was different—she was different. Nicolette felt it within herself. She knew her true reasons for contesting this arrangement, but she couldn’t tell them the truth.

“I shall act as to constitute my own happiness without reference to either of your wishes.” Her tone slanted further into a firm absolution. “I will not be caged in by a man whom I don’t love and who doesn’t even understand who I am.”

Taking her arms in his hands, Alex impulsively snapped back to her resolution.

“Now listen carefully, Nicolette… you have had every freedom and every desire of yours obeyed all your life. You must stop being a child someday. You will marry Simon

Parshin, the Earl of Brinner.”

“I haven’t the smallest intention of yielding.” She muttered.

“We’ll see. I leave you to think on this tonight.” Alex turned from her before she could argue further and declared to Ash. “You reason with her, for she’s beyond me.”

They watched Alex irately slam the door behind him and leave only silence in the foyer. Nicolette felt her heart stop with her brother’s anger. She hated having Alex Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 10 incensed with her. But if he only knew the truth, then he could see why she was behaving so inconsistently. Part of her was also panicking because of her plans to run away with

Colin. Would her brothers then assume it was a reaction to her betrothal and not already planned based on their mutual commitment to each other? Oh what rotten timing!

But why was Ash factioning with Alex? This was completely unlike his character.

He cursed marriage as a whole, let alone arranged marriages. She felt betrayed and completely alone in her usually trusted family. But something else must be behind

Asher’s irrational behavior.

She turned with stinging tears in her eyes. “How could you, Ash? I thought you of all people would understand.”

“Believe me, I do understand you. But we both know this argument has nothing to do with your dislike of the Earl.”

“What?”

He crossed his scarred arms over his large chest and leaned back against the side of the divan in the parlor. “Alex may be deaf, but your thoughtlessness and indiscretions are causing suspicious rumors.”

“I’m always rumored about—”

With a dangerous tone, he growled in a low voice. “Stop pretending, Nicky.”

His words were more than a warning. All of his emotions were different to her today. Why was he protesting her every word? Something was wrong with him, for he was too incensed. He must know.

“Pretending?” She gasped. Her heart began to beat fast as she saw his grave countenance. “What is this Asher?” Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 11

“You’re in love with Sir Avenry.”

“Are you mad?” She tried to laugh and listlessly walk around the room as if she was not scared out of her wits. Nicolette knew that she was unconvincing in her outrage.

She couldn’t breath. He really did know… Asher said his name with a deadly flat tone. It was an acquainted disgust. She wished he had yelled the truth at her instead, as Alex had yelled earlier. She could deal with anger, but not hatred, revulsion or disappointment. Of all her family, Asher was the last she wanted to know the truth. He was the one with a true reason to hate that name… not because of accusations, money, business or society.

The Avenry family was the main reason he stayed from this country and sent himself on suicidal voyages. He had always chanced his life, not caring if death seized him or not. It was the Avenrys who had turned his heart to marble. As she finally caught her breath again, she whispered with one broken word, “How?”

As if this were inevitable for him to discover, Asher didn’t drop her gaze.

“You’ve been acting suspicious since I returned. I sent myself to reveal what you were hiding. Did you honestly think I of all people would not find out? Especially about an

Avenry? My inspection into your secret was more painful than I ever imagined. An

Avenry, Nicky… an Avenry.”

She hated having him disappointed in her. Promising faithfully, she quickly pleaded, “Colin isn’t what you think—”

“The Earl is offering you everything.” His cold eyes returned to her, though his words were distant and resolved.

“But I don’t love him.” Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 12

“Nicky, you can’t have Sir Avenry. He’s been with every girl from London to

Paris.”

“So have you— more actually.”

“There’s a difference, Nicky. I’m not committed to anyone and I never will be.

He is supposedly committed to you, the Gray heiress, and who knows how many others.”

“That’s not true,” her voice began to splinter as tears threatened her eyes. She fought with telling him of their escape plans, but was terrified he would stop her. “I need him and contrary to what you say, he needs me, too. We… we have promised each other.”

Ash’s voice dangerously snarled at her emotion. “Men like him don’t need anyone. They use and leave women—trust one who knows.”

“Asher, I love him!”

“He’s an Avenry!” Asher erupted. His nostrils flared as his face was terrifyingly dark. “Like the others of his name. Love him and you’ll be ruined!”

Though he had become that monster from all the dangerous stories she had heard about, Nicolette still ran to her brother. He held to his stony stature as she tugged on his shirt for understanding and for him to put aside his insufferable presumptions. She pleaded, “it was true for you Asher, but it won’t be for me.”

He firmly grabbed his sister’s arms in his strong hands. Forcing his eyes into hers,

Asher’s deep voice direly pounded her. “He’s one of them, don’t you see that? He’ll destroy your love, like his brother destroyed mine!”

Streams of tears fell down her cheeks for herself and for the pain her brother clearly still held. Had she gone a step too far? Was this simply too much for her family to Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 13 bear? “It was seventeen years ago. Colin’s not like Elliot or the rest of his family, you must trust me.”

He released his tight grasp on her and turned from his sister’s sincerity. “There can be no trust when it involves an Avenry.”

She didn’t know what to say. He had so many reasons to try to protect her from that family. He had never spoken to her about what happened then, but she knew most of the truth from Alex. Nicolette had never dared to mention any name from that time in front of him, but now her own heart was involved. The barrier of her silence must be disregarded. She slowly whispered, “I’ve seen her.”

“Where?”

“More than once recently, but the first time was at a party two months ago. She’s beautiful, Ash.”

He had suddenly changed. She noticed the pain flash across his face before he turned his back to her and sat on the arm of the divan. “The Avenrys have changed

Celeste. She hasn’t a heart now.”

“How could weasely Elliot have taken her from you?”

Raising his stormy gaze, Asher sighed. “It was so long ago, Nicky.”

“Please?”

The room was silent. Again, Nicolette wondered if she had overstepped her bounds. Her nerves were nearly raw after she had alienated one brother and was now badgering her other one to tell her about the most painful even in his past. But she must know the extent that the Avenrys would go to ruin her family. She tried to not think Colin Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 14 was like them, but she still felt that she needed to know the truth before she fled with him

—and gave up her life to be with a man from such a family.

“I was in Scotland… we were all so young. I had fled this life. This was just before the schism between our family with the Avenrys, just a month before the accusations against father. I could not stay here and watch our father continue to try and elevate our family after I knew the truth about the types of people within this damned society. After traveling a bit I wanted to be closer to home – to you—in case you needed me, so I stopped off in Scotland. That’s where I met her. Celeste’s family was in trouble, financially. I didn’t know of the trouble, nor did she know I was a Noble. Celeste believed I was just an indigent drifter… though she and I fell in love nonetheless.” He paused for a moment to search for his words. “Upon meeting him, Celeste hated Elliot.

She said he was intolerable, conceited and assuming. But the necessity of her family came before her heart.”

It didn’t make sense to Nicolette, how could Celeste leave her brother for Elliot?

“So, it was Celeste, not Elliot’s doing?”

“No, Elliot knew exactly who I was where I was hiding out in Scotland. He knew that I had information on his family and had been ordered to ruin me before I could release anything on the Avenrys. He chose her to spite our family and me. Elliot has never loved Celeste, but used her as a trophy against me.”

Nicolette returned to their former contention. “You loved Celeste, or so you claim… so you must understand me.”

Ash rose directly from his seat and growled, “No, Colin is an Avenry, which only brings trouble. You must forget him and find someone else, even if it isn’t this Earl.” Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 37/ Page 15

“I love Colin. I know I’m not wrong about him, so please trust me.”

“No. Nicky, he wants only one thing from you. He’ll leave you when he’s done.”

“I know you’re wrong. Anyways, there’s nothing to be done. My heart has made its choice.” She saw a sharp pain go through her brother in concern for the decision she had made. She knew Asher felt he was losing another to that family.

“Please, listen to me, Nicky—”

“I hear your voice, but I must listen to my heart.” She rose to her tiptoes and kissed his check. “Now, I must go, Asher.”

“To him?” He reluctantly asked.

“Yes,” she pulled her heavy grey cloak about her shoulders and searched for her gloves. Nicolette couldn’t bear to look at his miserable stare, knowing it may break her of her resolve. She knew that he would see this as one of the worst betrayals she could make. This was evident in him quietly pleading – as his heart shattered by her choice.

“No, Nicky.”

“Trust me.”

Asher took a long sigh and added as she began out the door, “Oh, you’ll see… unfortunately.”