Opening: Catcher in the Rye

Foreword of My Love for you, Tom Cruise – A desperate Chinese girl’s confession

“I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around--nobody big, I mean-- except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff--I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going. I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be." Holden Caulfield, the main character in the novel “The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger replies when his younger sister Phoebe asks him about what he would like to do when he gets older.

He wants to be a catcher. That’s his dream. And the dream is to protect innocence in the world.

When Holden hears the "Catcher in the Rye" song being sung by a little boy, he decides that he wants to be the person that keeps children from falling off a cliff. That cliff symbolizes the transition from childhood to adulthood, and he wants to keep them as innocent children.

I am a catcher too. But I catch people from falling off the cliff of dream. And I don’t just catch children, I catch everybody. Everyone falling of the cliff, I will catch them immediately, especially adults.

Why when we were little we had those dreams, then when we grew up, we lost them? It is because everyone else told us it’s impossible, so we stopped dreaming. In that level, me and Holden actually protect the same thing: innocence and dream. The dream you had when you were a little child, the dream you had before you became an adult.

Dream and innocence are best friends. When we lose our innocence, we lose our dream; when you have the innocence, you can dream anything you want, and nothing is impossible in your imaginary world.

So, when you are about to fall from the cliff, I will have to catch you, catch you right way. Once you start falling, I can’t help. I’m the catcher in the rye as well. I will watch you carefully. It’s my job and obligation to make sure you are not falling.

Of course, myself is included. If I start falling, I will catch myself too. Maybe this book is an approval, an approval of how I caught myself from falling the cliff of my own dream.

“ Tom Cruise”, a name is known by people from all over the world, and this book is about him; about how an innocent teenage girl loves him to the cliff, and how she saved herself.

A friend said “Don’t write anything about Tom’s privacy.” Actually I’m exposing my own secrets and privacy in this book. It’s very true. This book actually is not about Tom, it’s about Niki. It’s about this normal yet extraordinary girl’s inner world, her own fantasy and dream.

Telling truth is more important than writing a book. It’s much harder to reveal your heart and disclose your own love, including the humor, including the way you make fun of yourself. It needs more than courage.

This girl, this pathetic Chinese girl wants to tell people that nothing is impossible. Love what you love and dream what you dream. And don’t let anyone bring you down, don’t let anything limit you, cause miracle does exist if you allow it.

I know I’m going to face a lot criticism when the book is published. Let others gossip. I’m going to enjoy my success. What you think of me is none of my business.

Tom says: “I don’t really keep counsel with others. I'm the kind of person who will think about something, and if I know it's right I'm not going to ask anybody. I don't go, "Boy, what do you think about this?" I've made every decision for myself - in my career, in my life.”

That’s how I decided to write this book. Any decision, as long as it’s made from heart, it will be the right decision. Well, I did tell some of my friends when I was writing it. I did not ask for permission. When they asked me what I was up to, I said, “I’m writing a book about Tom cruise.” Most of them did not know how to response:

“Oh, ok. ”

I could see their face turned so cold and white.

“ And the title is “My love for you, Tom Cruise, a desperate Chinese girl’s confession.”

I even laughed after I said it. I think it’s funny, the title, esp. when I said it in a very sarcastic way with a sweet Chinese accent. But they don’t get it. They don’t think it’s funny, interesting, cool or anything. I can feel their cold hand on the other side of the telephone, they were probably muttering: “Tom Cruise? ? You confess to…Tom Cruise?…” They can’t image, so they don’t know what to say, cause that’s beyond their imagination. I can see their sky was getting gray, and their hands were shaking.

Come on, people, be funny, laugh, have a little bit sense of humor if you can’t make me laugh my ass off. Why do we have to be serious all the time? What are the benefits of that? Why can’t we laugh sometime, even laugh at ourselves? It’ funny! Don’t you think it’s funny that a little poor girl from China is so obsessed with Tom Cruise, and even wrote a book about it? Come on people, have a little bit sense of humor before you open your mouth.

It’s so hard to deal with people who are serious all the time. Sorry, I can’t wait till he is not famous to love him and I don’t want to wait till next life either.

This is why I wanted to write this book so bad. I have no problem laugh at myself; I have no problems reveal my feelings to a super star; I have no problem tell the world that How Tom Cruise saved my life.

It’s ok to be yourself. It’s ok to be who you are. Who cares what others think? What they think of you is NONE of your business. Always remember that.

For me, as long as it’s from your heart, it’s a good book. As long as it’s sincere and genuine, no matter it’s humor or poetry, it will touch people. I feel so comfortable to express myself in both funny and spiritual ways. We need true feelings and emotions in our life, we also need humor and laughs, so here it is: “My love for you, Tom Cruise.”

Seriously, I’m going to kick your ass if you don’t laugh at all while you’re reading this book, cause I cracked myself up a numbers of times when I was writing it, and I am that kind of person who is serious all the time.

To write about someone famous needs confidence; to write someone really famous needs courage; to write your personal feeling towards someone really famous needs faith.

We all know the story of Narcissus, he loved himself too much so that he died accidentally when contemplating himself in the water. Well, maybe I’m not obsessed with Tom Cruise, I’m actually obsessed with myself? Just like the beautiful Ancient Greek boy who looked at himself every day by a lake, and that’s why I wrote this book? I’m just trying to express my appreciation and admiration by sending the love to Tom?

Maybe. I don’t know. Maybe I care about my dream and love too much and Tom Cruise is just the metaphor of my ultimate love and dream; maybe I am too fascinated by both me and Tom at the same time.

I guess the Narcissus part of me gives me the motivation to write the book at the first place, and the catcher in the Rye part gives me the patience and hope to finish this book.

The title of the book is “ My Love for you—Tom Cruise.” The love is just for Tom, or it’s much more beyond that? The love for passion? The love for life? The love for dream? The love for love? The love for hope?

A human definitely can appreciate another human on the purest level right? There got something simple like this. My love for Tom is something larger, it’s appreciation and admiration, it’s universal love. It’s one spirit’s expression to another.

Tom Cruise is my role model, he inspired me all the way through. His courage and faith, love and compassion, determination and responsibility, had a big impact on my life. Spiritually he is clear and positive, emotionally he is kind and compassionate, brain and heart, what more can you ask from a human? He is truly amazing.

He is already magnificent, just the way he is, I admire him as an actor, I appreciate him as a human, even more, he is one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Not only because he effected my life, but also he is going to effect my life, the inspiration will go on forever, when it starts, it never stops.

Tom plays the role of bridge in my life and in my book. The bridge between a small village with poverty and limitation and my ultimate dream with honor and success. This book is funny fun, also deep and insightful, I have no problem to show who I am, I wrote it with passion and unique vision.

The purpose of the book is nothing but sending positive messages. I want to tell people we still have hope. We are miracles. We can do anything and everything we want to do. We are eternal, we are infinite. I can love, dream, and hope, you can too. You just have to allow yourself. Fear is the only obstacle to overcome. And it’s Tom Cruise taught me all that. In the book, I am expressing my own feeling about what it is true about Tom Cruise. I understand him perfectly. And I am so grateful that I can share something really wonderful right here with you.

No matter I’m a catcher in the rye, or Narcissus by the lake, I don’t stop dreaming; I can’t stop looking at my own beauty; I can’t stop catching people from falling. Although in the end, the Narcissus drowns into the water and the catcher may be sneered at all the time. But it’s worthy it; dream is what we live for.

Never, ever, stop dreaming, even though you have heard other people saying: “It’s impossible!” Nothing is impossible. There is no dream too big to realize. You have to allow yourself to believe it. “I am gold, I have to shine!” The totality of possibilities will open the doors for you and you have to just accept the infinite power, which we already have inside of us. However, most people are blind to it. Ask yourself, “What do I want? What kind of life I want to create?”

Maybe you want to read this book cause you are just like me, you want to find the reflection of yourself in my eyes, you want to see your own self in the mirror of my face, just like the story of the lake which I read from a great book called The Alchemist. We all know the Narcissus drowned into the lake because of his looking at his own beauty. It grew a flower at the spot where he drowned, we call it Narcissus.

Ok, after the Narcissus died, the lake was weeping. The goddesses asked why. “You were the one who saw his beauty everyday, why are you weeping? You should feel lucky.”

The lake says: “ I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that the Narcissus was beautiful, I weep because, each time he knelt besides my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflect.”

Is that you too?