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10-30-2008 Montana Kaimin, October 30, 2008 Students of The niU versity of Montana, Missoula

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This Newspaper is brought to you for free and open access by the Associated Students of the University of Montana (ASUM) at ScholarWorks at University of Montana. It has been accepted for inclusion in Montana Kaimin, 1898-present by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks at University of Montana. For more information, please contact [email protected]. UM’s Independent Campus Newspaper Since 1898 E lec t ion Cou n tdow n It’s a shoe in for Mandy Morales page 7 5 days Montana Kaimin Thursday, October 30, 2008 www.montanakaimin.com Volume CXI, Issue 36 Dialogues Stacking pumpkins into the night to address topics of diversity Allison Maier MONTANA KAIMIN From “Genital Judgment” to “The Legal Drinking Age” and “Irish Heritage in America,” ev- erything’s up for discussion today. The University Center will house 31 speakers, four exhibits and a few dance performances for the University of Montana’s third- annual Day of Dialogue. According to its Web site, the event will tackle topics of race, gender, ethnicity, ability-disability, religion, sexual orientation, em- ployment hierarchy and academic discipline. “The Day of Dialogue is a way for the campus to come together to learn, to discuss, to experience, different topics of diversity,” said Day of Dialogue coordinator Tina Brown. Vice President of Student Af- fairs Teresa Branch started the Eric Oravsky/ Montana Kaimin symposium three years ago. It is that time of year again – the Great Pumpkin, high atop the University of Montana’s Main Hall, has made its statement that Halloween is near. Despite “It seemed as though it would campus security’s threats of a heightened watch, the Great Pumpkin climbed to the top of Main Hall on Oct. 26. The new decoration sits on its past two be important to bring an oppor- successors a tad bit crooked, but it is an action of mystery and admiration to many UM students nonetheless. tunity to the campus to dialogue around diversity and defi ne diver- See DIALOGUE, page 12 ASUM Volunteers to trick-or-treat for charities

Allison Maier wanis-affi liated organization on The political activist organi- Web site. urges state MONTANA KAIMIN campus, will be heading to the zation Forward Montana will be “We’re a homegrown organiza- Candy-crazed children won’t be Rattlesnake to trick-or-treat for knocking on doors as well, making tion that grows new leaders here in the only ones knocking on doors UNICEF, an organization that sure Missoula residents are pre- Montana,” Singer said. Friday night. works to improve the lives of pared for Election Day. Another group of students is to protect Several student groups will be children around the world by Matt Singer, CEO of the orga- raising money for hurricane relief taking to the streets on Halloween fi ghting disease, violence and nization, said the activity, called with a haunted house the students renters to collect food for the impover- poverty. Trick or Vote, is a non-partisan designed at the Boys and Girls Josh Potter ished, raise money for children The club has participated in voting drive. Volunteers will make Club in downtown Missoula. They and remind people to vote. the national charity drive for at sure that people are aware of their are organizing the event for their MONTANA KAIMIN The Honors Student Associa- least 10 years, according to former polling location, provide them Programming in Recreation class. tion is organizing Trick or Eat, club president Heather Preble. with information about what will The haunted house will be open ASUM unanimously passed the an event in which students visit Circle K members plan to dress appear on the ballot and let them Thursday night from 6 to 10 p.m. three bills Wednesday night that houses in the university district to up and go door-to-door asking for know they can still register to vote, Admission is $5 for a tour of the demonstrate its support for legis- collect non-perishable food items donations early Halloween eve- but are not endorsing a particular haunted house alone and $10 for lation expanding renters’ rights in for the Missoula Food Bank. ning. Last year, the group raised candidate. additional events, which include current state law. Senior Jennifer Ternes, who around $200, said former club The volunteers will focus on a costume contest and an eating Two of the bills would provide organized the event this year, esti- president Amanda Waller. youth-heavy neighborhoods ini- competition, where participants tenants with more information mates that HSA has been holding The money will be used to buy tially, including the downtown get points based on the foods they about mold issues at their resi- the drive for about seven years. In things like polio and measles vac- area, student housing, university are willing to blend together and dence and would further protect the last couple of years, they have cines, school supplies and high- district and the lower Rattlesnake, eat. collected over 1,000 pounds of protein biscuits. Singer said. Junior Austin Charvet said the tenants against wrongful withhold- food, she said. Although UNICEF trick-or- Singer said he anticipates be- event is aimed mostly at kids in ing of their security deposits. The Middle school and high school treaters are usually recognizable tween 60 and 100 volunteers to middle school and early high third bill would enact a change in students will also help collect by the bright orange boxes they help with the drive and estimates school. the current Landlord Tenant Act. food, Ternes said. use for collecting change, Circle that about half of them are stu- Six people have worked to The director of the Off-Campus Ternes has been helping with K members may have to take to dents. Anyone interested in volun- set up the event for the past two Renter Center, Denver Henderson, the drive since her freshman year the streets with plastic bags — the teering can call Forward Montana. weeks and at least 25 volunteers presented all three bills. of college. boxes they ordered from the orga- “More people are welcome,” will run the event, Charvet said. The bill regarding the release of “It’s a great way to meet oth- nization have not arrived yet. Singer said. “It’s going to be legitimately mold information proposed an up- er students and get to know the “Even without the boxes in Forward Montana works to scary and people are going to be date to the Mold Disclosure Act of neighborhood and the commu- hand, we’re still there doing it for promote political participation horrifi ed,” he said. See ASUM, page 14 nity,” she said. the cause,” said Circle K president and train young Montanans to be- [email protected] Circle K International, a Ki- Loretta Tracy. come leaders, according to their Today On Campus Inside the Kaimin Forecast • Day of Dialogue Orgasmic Pleasure Droppin’ the ‘Baum High 61F University Center page 6 page 2 All day, free and open to public Exploring the possibilities On Obama’s Low 38F in your sex life tax plan 2 Montana Kaimin Opinion Thursday, October 30, 2008 Editorial Droppin’the‘baum Nonprofi ts hurting in on Obama’s tax plan economic crisis By Alex Tenenbaum Dear President Dennison, amount of mental faculty. this plan than As we sit and commiserate about how broke we are with Because of Barack Obama, the But some of us were not gifted an increase our friends over $1 Blue Moons at the bars, we need to re- world is now fi lled with hope and with either the will to work or the in excellence member that the fi nancial meltdown is hurting some members is about to change. If you plan to intellect required for such success and fairness. There is nobility. As of our community even more, like the people who depend on prepare your students for life be- at your elitist state school. To reme- you know, Obama stands poised to the Missoula Food Bank and other nonprofi ts that serve the yond the classroom, this stodgy dy this inequity, I suggest you sim- break us free from the chains of tal- low income, disabled and the elderly. ivory tower of education must ply take grade points from those ent, effort, merit and performance Since 2007, donations to the Food Bank, Missoula United change to keep up. who earn more than a 3.8 and give that bind us to our income. Like a Way and Missoula Aging Services have decreased. Nick Rob- I am speaking, of course, about them to students who earn less. To brave Robin Hood, he promises to erts, the development director for the Missoula Food Bank, your pathetically outdated grading make things even, you should hand steal from the rich to give to the told the Missoulian that though the number of people using system. Grades, those vile little let- out more points to those who are masses. the Food Bank has hit record highs since last spring, dona- ters doled out according to talent on academic probation or in dan- You, sir, are out of sync. Your tions aren’t fl ooding in at the same rate. In some cases, people and effort, are the only reward we ger of failing, while assigning less scheme of rewarding students di- who used to drop food off are now coming in to pick it up. students can expect to gain from to those with the determination to rectly for their work smacks of According to the Food Bank’s Web site, 41,785 people all our toils. And it seems the more maintain passing grades. capitalism in all its ugly manifes- were served through all of its sites and programs in 2005. effort we exude, the greater our re- Surely some smug overachiev- tations. Do you want a society in Missoula’s population is approximately 70,000. To feed these ward, as if your shameless profes- ers will object, but they only con- which one man’s gain comes not people, the Food Bank depends largely on donated nonperish- sors judge us on nothing more than stitute 5 percent of the student at the expense of another? Do you able foods and perishable goods donated by local grocers. performance. body, so their voice hardly mat- want a society in which laziness is Unfortunately, the needs of the community aren’t lessen- What I am proposing is the re- ters. But if they become too rau- not rewarded but punished? And ing; they’re growing. With the credit crisis, collapse of hous- distribution of grade point aver- cous, remind them that just like worse, achievement is admired ing prices, rising unemployment and increased food and gas ages throughout the university, in forcing the handicapped to try to – even praised? Do you actually prices, people are fi nding that their discretionary income the same way Obama plans to re- use the stairs, it would be down- want a society where any man can doesn’t stretch as far as it used to. Add to that the political distribute our incomes. right mean to force potheads and rise as high as his will and ability campaigns’ donation requests and all of the recent natural di- As you know, Obama plans to frat boys to limp along without the will take him? sasters. The constant cycle of need is exhausting people and take money from the richest 5 per- help of their talented, hardworking President Dennison, our great their wallets, so donations to local nonprofi ts are drying up. cent and distribute it among those peers. nation has suffered under such Nonprofi ts all over the country are feeling the pinch. who make less. My grading plan If human nature is anything like a system from its inception, and According to an Oct. 7 article by the New York Times, the follows this precisely, so while I’d I think it is, you will see a vast num- your current grading scheme only nonprofi ts most seriously affected by the economic crisis are like to take the credit, I have little ber of students boost their grades works to perpetuate it. I am tired those that depended on donations from the decrepit or de- to do with its genius. over the 3.8 mark in their long- of this meritocracy and capitalistic ceased fi nancial giants Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Mer- This is how it works: In order ing to help lazy bums get degrees. indoctrination, and I am not alone. rill Lynch, the American International Group and Washington to break into UM’s top 5 per- This is precisely the same sort of Socialism is the new direction Mutual. New York City’s Citymeals-on-Wheels, a nonprofi t cent, a student must maintain a empathy that Obama plans to mine of America, and if you wish to call that provides three million meals yearly for more than 18,000 grade point average of at least in order to increase productivity yourself a patriot, I suggest you homebound residents, was forced to cancel a $2-million-a- 3.8. Of course, attaining such and stimulate our economy. If he follow suit. The time has come to year second daily meal program in August partly due to a loss marks takes hard work and deter- can count on it, so can we. spread the academic wealth. in contributions from Bear Stearns. mination, not to mention a vast But there are more benefi ts to [email protected] According to Eric Kessler, founder of Arabella Philan- Big Ups and Backhands steps politics is completely acceptable. thropic Investment Advisors, America’s nonprofi ts are facing out of its journalistic lines Letters to the Holding them accountable for their “a perfect storm of bad omens for philanthropic giving.” I don’t read Hustler magazine, decisions and how they spend tax- With the fi nancial crisis looking like it isn’t letting up soon, but, apparently, if I read the Kaimin, I Editor payers’ dollars is something journal- we need to work to avoid crises within the organizations that don’t have to. I can read all the news ists should do. provide for those getting hit the hardest. Just a little effort by that Hustler thinks is “fi t to print.” However, I don’t know what’s that I have lived during a time when everyone will make a difference. Things like rice, Ramen and In an effort to be biting, sarcas- happened in a society when we have mentioning a presidential candidate canned soup are cheap — usually under a dollar. So next time tic, mildly offensive, and fun, the come to believe that simply because Kaimin reprinted information from as appearing in a fi ctional porno fi lm someone is a public fi gure we are al- you’re at the grocery store, pick up an extra bag of rice and would not have been considered forgo that seventh Blue Moon. Hustler magazine on Friday, Oct. lowed to stop treating them decently, 17, in an article called “Big Ups and news or even acceptable to print. as though they aren’t also a person. Backhands,” describing what Hus- Some people reading this would Sarah Palin is someone’s wife, -Lauren Russell, news editor fi nd the article funny. I am not one [email protected] tler calls a “soon-to-be-released por- mother and grandmother, in addition no fl ick based on Gov. Sarah Palin.” of them. It is one thing to talk around to holding public offi ce. I found it very offensive and em- the bar, in the newsroom or the liv- So, this grandmother wants you to barrassing, actually. The article was ing room. It’s something altogether know, author of Big Ups and Back- not news, a feature or an ad but was different to publish or broadcast hands, next time you want to read Correction: presented in the form of an editorial. something. There is a responsibil- Hustler magazine, you can come on Due to an editorial error, Wednesday’s International However, it was not attributed to a ity that goes with that privilege, and up to the newsroom and tell us all writer. No attribution, in my mind there should be accountability. about it, just don’t republish their Development Studies minor story incorrectly stated The Kaimin is funded solely by that the minor “has aimed to teach education implies that the material comes from work. If you do, you should sign it the staff, of which I am a part. a student fee, one required at the and archive it online. That way your students about working and contributing positively I am sure it would be the opinion time we pay our tuition. Therefore, prospective employer can look your around the globe.” The program is designed for of some readers of the Kaimin that the publication is accountable only work up on the Internet before he to the student body, of which I am students from all educational backgrounds. my disagreement with the publica- decides to cut you a paycheck. tion of this piece is because I come also a part. -Deborah Brae Tanner from an older generation. It is true Taking issue with a candidate’s Graudate student, journalism Montana Kaimin NEWSROOM PHONE 406-243-4310 BUSINESS OFFICE PHONE 406-243-6541

The Montana Kaimin, in its 111th Editor Design Editor Reporters Jeff Osteen year, is published by the students Bill Oram Letty Hingtgen Amy Faxon Kaylee Porter of The University of Montana, Business Manager Online Editor Carly Flandro Photographers Missoula. The UM School of Joe Licitra Steve Miller Carmen George Ken Billington Journalism uses the Montana News Editors Copy Editors Mike Gerrity Bess Brownlee Kaimin for practice courses but Virginia Cleaveland Leslie Brown Kayla Matzke Alisia Muhlestein assumes no control over policy or Trevon Milliard Laura Dawson Josh Potter Eric Oravsky content. Lauren Russell Elizabeth Harrison Allison Maier Designers Arts/Outdoors Editor Heather Roussi Deborah Brae Tanner Patrick Cote Send letters to the editor to Melissa Weaver Alyssa Small Arts/Outdoors Reporters Blaine Dunkley [email protected]. Sports Editor Sports Reporters Kelsey Bernius April Gregory Whitney Bermes Colter Nuanez Amanda Eggert Ashley Klein Photo Editor Charles Pulliam Will Freihofer Hugh Carey Roman Stubbs 3 Thursday, October 30, 2008 Opinion Montana Kaimin

Baseball is as important as any As a registered voter in Mon- The main point, I’m assuming, other sport tana, he is part of a large group is the issue of early voting. Or is I read the letters from Oct. 28 of Americans in states across it celebrity endorsements? about the article concerning the Letters to the the country where the presiden- Unlike Virginia, the major- World Series from Oct. 22 and had tial race is extremely close and ity of Americans do not have the to see what the commotion was his vote could really make a day off from school to vote, let about. I am incensed with rage. Editor difference. While most fi rst-time alone wait in line to vote and “BE How dare you, Whitney, call voters often question the impor- there.” yourself a sport anything if you tance of their vote and rarely turn People vote early or vote ab- don’t know baseball? It is the out at the polls, there should be no sentee for various reasons, and American pastime and has been doubt for him. I hope he is taking early voting has allowed more around well before your great- his decision more seriously than individuals to participate in the grandparents were even born. It a In case you didn’t know, all This inaccuracy should not his girlfriend implies. voting process. Two weeks ago, beautiful game that takes time to of these teams have been in the have made it past the writer’s Even if she doesn’t understand my parents voted, seated around manifest. World Series since their inception research. A simple visit to either the vital role of campaign calls in the kitchen table, googling candi- There are these things called to Major League Baseball. Even Ralph Nader’s or the Green Par- identifying and motivating voters, dates and initiatives. “series” that each team plays countries that don’t play baseball ty’s respective web pages would Virginia seems to understand the My older sister voted early against another team and so they care about the World Series; just have provided accurate informa- importance of this historic elec- as well without having to worry play more than one lousy game a watch BBC World News to know tion (as would a simple Google tion. about eating and voting during week in a “best of” situation. I am they talk about it before cricket search), which makes me ques- She should explain to him that her lunch break or taking the kids a hard-core Angels and Dodgers and soccer. tion the research methods of Kai- gaining the power to vote for the to the polling place. fan, but I know who the Phillies Learn some class and sports- min writers. president comes with a lot of oth- While Virginia writes that ce- are (I am rooting for the Phillies manship to understand what it It is embarrassing to see inac- er responsibilities, as well as the lebrity endorsements won’t sway in the World Series) and who the means to be a sports fan. curacies like this come out of a occasional disruptive campaign her vote, she also stated that she Rays are. -Sarah Borrelli, newspaper that is associated with phone call. He should enjoy the wouldn’t blame her boyfriend and Let me put it in terms your senior, archaeology what is considered a prestigious attention while he can. others like him who would vote baseball-resistant head can under- journalism program. Accuracy is -Ashleen Williams for Sen. McCain out of spite. stand: You would know the Phil- an important part of journalism. sophomore, political science In the words of Sen. Joe Biden, lies if you watched “Boy Meets Lack of research, editing in the Possibly the most important part. are you kidding me? I would rath- World,” as Cory lived in Philadel- Nader story is an embarrassment Please do your research. er side with the Kal Penns and phia and had many spats with his I was embarrassed by the Oct. -Ben Johnson, Majority of Americans do not Anthony Kiedis’ of the world who brother Eric about going with him 23 front-page story on Ralph Nad- senior, humanities have day off to vote base their votes on “some of the to games. er’s recent visit to campus. At the urgency of several issues” like access to higher edu- If you were of a cognizant age The story begins with a glar- friends, I read Tuesday’s editorial cation and war. in 1998, you should remember the ing error. Ralph Nader is not this Voters should be fl attered by by Virginia Cleaveland. Lastly, I appreciate those “an- news that baseball was expanding year’s Green Party candidate. volunteers’ efforts After reading the editorial, noying tactics.” Those volunteers with four more teams. Cynthia McKinney is. Nader is Virginia Cleaveland’s boy- I was struck at how bizarre and were so annoying that they con- Let’s see if you have heard of running as an Independent. friend, who she suggests might unorganized Virginia’s edito- vinced me to vote last Saturday the Florida Marlins, the Colorado Was there no research or edit- vote for John McCain just to spite rial was – long lines, memories and to spend next Tuesday knock- Rockies, the Arizona Diamond- ing involved in this story? Barack Obama’s campaign for dar- of her fi rst presidential election, ing on the last set of doors in Mis- backs and the formerly Tampa True, Nader has run on the ing to reach out to him, should feel Governor Palin as the Republi- soula for Sen. Obama. Bay Devil Rays who are now the Green Party ticket in the past, as fl attered instead of annoyed by the can nominee, annoying tactics, P. -Kao Nou Thao Tampa Bay Rays. stated in the article. attention. Diddy, and parrots. graduate student, social work 4 Montana Kaimin News Thursday, October 30, 2008 Speaker: Action key Writing Center program to ending genocide to assist online students Amy Faxon resolved the war that was taking Deborah Brae Tanner in Salem, Ore., before coming to Kyoto, Japan. MONTANA KAIMIN place. MONTANA KAIMIN UM. Tom Bateridge, a tutor at the Human rights advocate John “We need to make a commit- From beginning English speak- “We not only help students in Writing Center since spring 2003, Prendergast urged students and ment to end the war in Darfur,” ers to post-doctoral candidates, all academic disciplines, but we said he remembers Kuribayashi. community members Wednesday Prendergast said. “(And) we actu- the Writing Center provides tutor- help them with their writing at Bateridge primarily tutors stu- night to get involved in the anti- ally know how to do it.” ing to any student at the Univer- any stage in the writing process,” dents who speak English as a sec- genocide movement in Africa. There are five windows of op- sity of Montana. Peterson said. ond language (ESL). “We must raise our voices as portunity to help end genocide, “We exist, in part, to help stu- Students can get help editing “Having learned a second or loudly as we can and say to our he said. The biggest is that in July dents break their way through their completed work, assistance third language sensitizes you to elected officials and anyone who’ll 2008 the International Criminal any writing assignment, any writ- with their grammar and sentence grammar” said Bateridge, a for- listen, ‘Not on our watch,’” Pren- Court, which focuses on geno- ing task, at any time during their structure, even interpretation of mer hydrology consultant who dergast said to about 100 people cides and war crimes, filed charges academic tenure,” said Kelly Pe- their writing assignments, accord- started tutoring Spanish in Ari- gathered in the University Congre- against the president of Sudan terson, the new Writing Center ing to Peterson. zona 10 years ago. gational Church. Omar al-Bashir for 10 counts of director. “People come here willingly,” “ESL students know the terms Some “life-saving actions” that genocide, crimes against humanity Peterson, who moved to Mis- said Nathaniel Miller, who has of grammar,” Bateridge said, “and people can do are join the anti- and war crimes in Darfur. soula in August to take over the been working at the Writing Cen- knowing the terms is a shortcut to African genocide movement and In the next two months, the position, has a couple of new pro- ter for the past two years. “There’s explaining grammar.” influence friends and family to court will decide how many counts grams in the works. not that student-teacher dynamic. Students at the Writing Cen- also join; contact your local mem- to indict the president with and the Beginning in the spring semes- It’s a more relaxing atmosphere.” ter are free to engage in dialogue ber of Congress; call the White Sudanese will pay a cost for their ter, trained tutors will man a table Miller is a former journalist about their assignments, accord- House; write letters to newspaper terrible crimes, Prendergast said. in the University Center for Study who completed his master’s in ing to Peterson, but they remain editors voicing your concerns on The second window is that Chi- Jam, helping students enrolled in Environmental Studies last year. in control of their writing. genocide; and get involved with na has a huge oil investment in Su- English Composition 101. The Peterson characterizes the Students can learn new writing STAND, the student-led division dan and therefore is also invested jam sessions will be the first time Writing Center as a unique space strategies, or the “how” of writ- of the Genocide Intervention Net- in peace in Sudan. China and the the center has used peers to tutor on campus where students can ing, Peterson said. Then they can work, Prendergast said. U.S. are currently the two most in- other students. work side-by-side with a tutor put them into practice, by using “Africa is not a continent of fluential countries in Sudan, Pren- Peterson is also collaborating without fear of being judged or them without fear, she said. hopelessness,” he said. “Its capaci- dergast said. The next American to design an online tutoring pro- graded. Since coming to UM, she has ty for transformation is limitless.” president needs to send a diplomat gram. Beginning in the spring, One student, Kosuke Kurib- also implemented online schedul- To end genocide the United to Beijing to explain how China the new program will help stu- ayashi, spoke almost no English ing of the tutoring sessions at the States government needs to put and the U.S. can unite together to dents solely with their online when he came in for help as an Writing Center. together a group of experienced bring peace to Sudan, he said. classes. 18-year-old freshman four years “We’re here for all students diplomats and send them to Sudan “The power of that would be Peterson, a professor who got ago. who are struggling, but good writ- to peacefully talk and resolve the enormous,” Prendergast said. her master’s in Literature at the “I came in when I was taking ers come to the Writing Center, war, he said. The last few things that will University of California – Santa a writing class in forestry. People too,” said Peterson. “We all need The Bush administration sent help end genocide are the 2009 Cruz, ran the writing center at said it was hard,” said Kuribayas- another set of eyes,” she said. diplomats to Sudan in 2005 and See GENOCIDE, page 5 Chemeketa Community College hi, an athletic science major from [email protected] 5 Thursday, October 30, 2008 News Montana Kaimin GENOCIDE destroy the villages,” he said. One hundred thousand villages South Campus Laundry offers Continued from page 4 have been burned to the ground in the last fi ve years, he said. election in Sudan where the in- “It’s not a racial confl ict,” cumbent President al-Bashir will Prendergast said. “It’s just a small effi cient, ‘green’ machines most likely be indicted; the 2009 group of people in the center (of election in the U.S.; and the mass Sudan) doing whatever they have Deborah Brae Tanner extraction, Easton said. If time is most important, amounts of people across Amer- to do to keep power.” MONTANA KAIMIN According to Easton, Conti- patrons can wash and dry their ica who are committed to ending Prendergast opened his lecture Geoff Easton is the owner of nental, the company who manu- clothes in less than an hour, genocide while it’s happening. with an anecdote about a Sudanese South Campus Laundry, Missou- factures the machines, is trying to Easton said. A typical wash cy- Both candidates for American woman and her four children who la’s newest self-service laundry. position itself as a “green” com- cle is 30 minutes, and a typical president have said they will have one night awoke to massive explo- It’s so new, it’s not even listed in pany, creating products that are dry cycle is about 24 minutes. a “much more focused administra- sions in their village. the phone book. better for the environment. “The biggest mistake people tion in Washington dealing with Amid the screams and explo- Just across from University During the research phase of make is trying to save money by problems around the world,” Pren- sions the woman heard the sound Villages near the intersection of opening his business, Easton said cramming everything they own dergast said. of the Janjaweed militia coming South Street and South Higgins he discovered that some compa- into the dryer,” Easton said. For the last 50 years Sudan has on horseback. She grabbed her Avenue, the new business opened nies soon plan to stop manufac- Drying times are longer if not been a deeply troubled indepen- children and started running for in April of this year. According to ture of commercial top-load- enough air can circulate to dry dent country. In the spring of 2003, the hills. Easton, the building has been a lot ing washers, due to the amount the clothes, he said. rebel groups in Darfur fought the Militia men caught up with her, of things, including a coffee shop of water needed, as the water In his decision to open a new government, resulting in many grabbed one of her sons and threw called The Gathering Grounds, but level usually covers the clothes business, Easton, a 1995 Uni- victories. him into a burning home then 18 months ago, Easton bought the in top-loaders. South Campus versity of Montana graduate in The government then armed grabbed another son and shot him building. Laundry only has front-loaders, philosophy, said he knew there the Arab Janjaweed militia to use twice. Renovations began for a laun- which Easton said use one-third wasn’t a commercial laundry in whatever force needed to destroy She managed to run to the hills dry with 2008-model washers and less water. the south campus area. all villages and communities that with her other two children who dryers and the latest reusable card Although students may want “My educated gamble is that supported the rebellion, he said. survived and then eventually made technology. Quarters are not need- to be environmentally friendly, all the university growth is go- The Janjaweed is similar to it to the border of Darfur and Chad ed to operate the machines. Patrons saving money and wear-and-tear ing to happen there,” he said. the Ku Klux Klan, Prendergast where Prendergast met her. need only cash or their debit cards on clothes may be a bigger in- Summer business was slow, said. After telling Prendergast her to “load” the store cards used in centive to use the new machines. according to Easton, but now that “They represent a very small story, “she looked at me with fi re in the machines, similar to buying a South Campus Laundry offers the students are back, business has percentage of opinions of Arab her eyes,” he said. “Now that you copy card at Kinko’s. Students can a sale on typically slow days: taken off. people and have received the back- know, you must do something.” also use their Griz cards to pay and Tuesdays, Wednesdays and “I think the most rewarding ing from the Sudan government to [email protected] load their store cards, Easton said. Thursdays until noon. Double- thing is seeing the same faces and “I got the machines that use the load washers are only 99 cents knowing that we are having repeat least amount of water possible to on these days, the cheapest price customers,” he said. get the clothes clean,” said Easton. in town. [email protected] The KAIMIN KLICKs “The way these are designed, they spin so much faster. They wring out a lot of water, saving you @ money with drying time.” The ma- www.montanakaimin.com chines in South Campus Laundry are highly effi cient and have high The Kaimin says: Pray for snow! 6 Montana Kaimin News Thursday, October 30, 2008 Orgasming: ‘We hope you come!’

Photos by Eric Oravsky

LEFT: Clinical sexologist Dr. Lindsey Doe explains how, why and where orgasms happen to a packed room Wednesday night in the UC. “Chocolate triggers the same part of the brain as an orgasm,” Doe said during the lecture.

BELOW: Doe explains how to prepare for anal penetration by making the area comfortable and having a lengthy time of excitement.

Dr. Lindsey Doe, clinical sexologist and professor of the human sexuality class at UM, lent some of her wisdom about the human orgasm to students at the UC Wednesday night. The Kaimin sent a man and a woman from its staff to get in on the action and provide alternative viewpoints to the talk. Male Female Mike Gerrity land, and at the very least a decent lay. Laura Dawson Shoot ‘em up, but don’t shoot it off. MONTANA KAIMIN In the spirit of foreplay, Doe described MONTANA KAIMIN But at a packed orgasm workshop She decided to begin the discussion like how to find the elusive G-spot in a wom- The French call it “la petite mort,” or Wednesday night, it was clear to me that all good discussions do, with a prop. an’s “corduroyish-textured” area located in “the little death.” It starts with touch, sensu- more than a few of us really want to know Dr. Lindsey Doe brought out a large the upper, interior wall of the vagina, and al contact, leading to a quickening, sensual the truth about sex and how to have “the big phallic box, and pulled out a polished that it can be found with a simple “come dance that eventually escalates into carnal O.” wooden sex toy that looked like a bastard hither,” gesture with one or two fingers. bliss. All that American reservation toward hybrid between a pipe and a bottle opener. Start with one, work your way up. You may know it as an orgasm. sex affects foreplay, said Dr. Lindsey Doe, How the hell can I compete with that? She then outlined a technique that men Orgasm. Saying it out loud makes me a UM clinical sexologist who taught the As a relatively confident, yet full-on can use to stave off their ejaculation and feel like I should be whispering it like a workshop. bumbling idiot when it comes to women, stay in the game, secret. But let’s “We’re told not to. It’s dirty,” Doe said. the thought that this oversized whittling which, unfortu- face it: orgasms But foreplay is the most critical part of is the female standard of pleasure has my nately, consists are the most sex, she said. The average woman needs manhood running for the door. of pinching the popular “secret” about 45 – mark that gentlemen – 45 min- “This is not one of the more advanced head of the penis in America. It’s utes of sensual escalation to reach orgasm. toys,” she assured us. just before ejac- not something And I hate to tell you gents, but most Great. Does the premium model give ulation, which we talk about American males are falling short. you free Wi-Fi and vacuum the carpet? brings arousal officially, not at “The average American man can supply I walked into the group meeting with a back under con- school, not at about two minutes (of foreplay),” Doe said. mental image of the female anatomy that trol. work, certainly Why rush a good thing? Sure, hot, hard is about as easy to figure out as a map of The plus side not with family. and fast has its moments, but the simple a New York subway … colorblind. But here is that you Hell, kids are truth is women need a little more time. Doe hopefully, I would be able to learn how to can keep hump- lucky these days said 70 percent of women do not orgasm please a woman within the hour and a half ing longer and, to learn about from intercourse alone. we had together and not leave this world as with practice, be having safe sex, “It’s about the clitoris,” Doe said, adding the guy who got a nosebleed mid-coitus. able to achieve let alone how to that the clitoral orgasm is the most common Though the lecture focused heavily on orgasm without have good sex. female orgasm. the female orgasm, I tried to take some blowing it. And yet sex is The blame isn’t entirely with men, things away from the diagram she drew on The downside everywhere we though. Females are ultimately responsible dry-erase markerboard. is that you have look: shirtless, for their own pleasure, Doe said. She elaborated that a period of fooling to PINCH THE sculpted men “You give yourself that orgasm,” she said. around brings the lucky fornicators up to HELL OUT OF on billboards, “Even if you feel like you’re losing control, a plateau of horniness (aka, foreplay), but YOUR PENIS. TV commercials you’re giving yourself that orgasm.” the amount of time spent bumbling and But before with actresses Getting over “the wall,” as Doe calls fumbling differs greatly between men and you engage in pouting beside achieving orgasm, requires learning about women. self-abuse, she beauty products, our bodies, about our responses to touch, Women need about 45 minutes of this also taught of other ways men can improve ethereally beautiful models draped over per- and psychologically about accepting what’s to get revved up for sex. The majority of the stamina of their erection through a little fume bottles in magazines, bathroom stalls happening to us. American men, however, only need two. weight-lifting exercise. covered with dirty limericks. That’s right, ladies. If you’re search- On behalf of the American male, it is “You could put a towel on it,” Doe sug- But the truth is, Americans have a prob- ing for your pleasure, just start exploring, World Series season and we can’t be stop- gested. “Or if that’s too heavy, a tissue.” lem with sex. Not doing it, but talking about touching, masturbating. This teaches you ping for everything. (And women talk about being treated like it. We can watch guts dangling from bellies what you like, and in turn you can teach Not that I would trivialize the right for objects … at least nobody asked them to be in war flicks, serial killers severing limbs your likes to your partner. the woman to enjoy the whole sex thing. a towel rack.) in a hail of spraying blood, but the second Because here’s the good news: we have a Any woman who could put up with seeing Women, she said, can do vaginal exercises nipples, or even worse, mons pubis, make treasure trove of pleasure-getting available me naked deserves a free pass to Disney- See MEN, page 15 an appearance, we hide our eyes. See WOMEN, page 15 7 Thursday, October 30, 2008 Sports Montana Kaimin On or off the court, Morales knows her style Charles Pulliam ball shorts and shoes,” Morales MONTANA KAIMIN said. “I’d have to say the Jordan Retro 3s are my favorite.” When it comes to basketball, Each pair of her shoes cost Lady Griz star Mandy Morales about $100 apiece, but comfort knows the game. She can dazzle is big and worth the price tag. defenders with her slick dribbling Morales’ toe injury and rather skills, while her smooth jump shot wide feet limit how her feet can and her aggressiveness in the lane bend, so her shoes don’t have the are unrivaled by most. average gel insert. The inserts So of course the defending Big Morales uses are molded directly Sky MVP needs the right kind of to the shape of the bottom of her gear to keep her game going. size-10 foot. Why not have a pair of shoes “That’s why I like Jordans so for each game or a different pair much because they are fl at and of basketball shorts for every work for my fl at feet and fi t my other day? inserts,” she said. That’s right, Morales cur- When asked if she owns a pair rently has 34 different basketball of heels, Morales said, “Oh no. shoes, primarily Jordans. That’s Heck no! I’ll wear Jordan fl ip- just how many she has with her fl ops.” in Missoula, though. She’s not lying. “I have more back home,” she “Mandy had to wear heels at said with a smile. my oldest son’s wedding and just Besides a few duffl e bags of hated it,” said Morales’ mom Val shoes at her apartment in Mis- Selman. “After the wedding she soula, Morales fi lled two closets had her Jordan sandals on.” with shorts too. By the time her second-older “It’s about 150,” Morales said, brother Wes got married, Mo- estimating the number of below- rales had a game plan. She talked the-knee, baller-style shorts she her sister-in-law into having the has. “My parents think I’m really bridesmaids go barefoot. spoiled because I have all these Sure enough, the wedding was shoes and every time I get new held outside and the wedding Jordans, my brothers say I don’t party got to feel the grass be- need another pair. But that’s tween their toes. After the vows kind of my obsession – Jordans were said, Morales slipped off – whether it’s shoes or shorts.” her dress and changed into some But don’t be mistaken, Mo- comfortable shorts and T-shirt rales has the game to back up the for the wedding reception. merchandise. “She’s kind of spoiled, but On Tuesday night, she showed she’s the only girl,” Selman no off-season rust, scoring a said. game-high 21 points in the Ma- Morales played her fi rst sea- roon and Silver scrimmage at son of high school basketball at Dahlberg Arena. Huntley Project School in Wor- Morales anchored a Lady Griz den, where her mom still teaches offense that averaged 74.8 points second grade. per game last season, which was Selman said her husband Jay, 17th in the nation. The 5-foot- Morales’ stepfather, sometimes 9 senior guard averaged 16.2 gets hand-me-downs from the points and fi ve assists per game, Lady Griz standout. both team highs while earning “Jay is a P.E. teacher here and her third straight Kodak/WBCA they both wear size-10 shoes, so honorable mention All-American the leftover Jordans, which are honor. She is No. 4 on the Lady like brand new, he sometimes Charles Pulliam/Montana Kaimin Griz all-time scoring list with gets,” Selman said. “Jay is al- Senior guard Mandy Morales displays part of her collection of basketball shoes at her apartment in Missoula. The Lady Griz 1,400 points and No. 6 in assists ways bugging her about giving star also owns about 150 pairs of basketball shorts. with 435. some of them up.” Even now, if you stop by Mo- With such a big resume on Selman said her kids have al- As a senior at Billings West, to fi nd the coolest gear in sports rales’ apartment, there are East- the court, Morales likes to fi t ways been into basketball. When Morales was named Gatorade stores and magazines. bay catalogs lying around. the role. If you see her around her oldest son, Kevin, was play- Player of the Year after guiding “She was always dressed like “When a new pair of shorts or campus, she’s most likely sport- ing high school ball, it rubbed off the Bears to back-to-back state the boys in her shorts,” Selman Jordans comes out, she has to get ing the typical shorts-sneakers- on the rest of her kids and before championships. said of her daughter. “And East- them because that might be the sweatshirt look. she knew it, her daughter found At home, Selman’s basket- bay was our favorite catalog to “I pretty much live in basket- her calling. ball players were always trying get in the mail.” See MORALES, page 10 Around the Charles Pulliam ing the conference’s automatic bid, the Vikings in a historic offensive touchdowns and 1,189 yards of to- 346 passing yards. Higgins leads MONTANA KAIMIN and their 5-0 record in the confer- battle that ended with the Wildcats tal offense. the nation with nearly 2,900 pass- ence is the best start in program on top 73-68. By the way, in Feb- Both QBs will start this week- ing yards and his 29 touchdown Weber 5-0 for fi rst time history in the Big Sky. ruary, when the schools’ basketball end, but McBride is hoping for a passes ties him for the lead. The Weber State football team “Records, all that stuff, it’s teams met, Portland State earned a less eventful game. Hubel has exploded once this is cruising and now sits in the driv- great,” said Weber State coach 76-73 win on the hardwood. “I don’t like those runaway season. Against Eastern Washing- er’s seat of the Big Sky Conference Ron McBride. “We’re in a great On the fi eld, Weber State quar- games,” he said. “It was fun, but ton in the fi rst week of October, as the only remaining unbeaten position, but you can’t get too high terback Cameron Higgins rushed it wasn’t that much fun…I want a he threw for a school-record 623 team. An undefeated season in the or too low, you just have to take for three touchdowns and threw little more control.” yards and fi ve touchdowns in the Big Sky isn’t far-fetched with only care of the business at hand.” for 334 yards and four scores in Despite his wishes, the statistics Vikings 47-36 win. His passing three conference games remaining, That business is a game against the big win. Portland State’s Drew point toward a similar offensive yards were just one yard shy of the including two home games and the Portland State (3-4, 2-2) on Satur- Hubel, in his fi rst start taking the clash. Portland State leads the na- 17-year-old Big Sky and national 135-mile trek north to face winless day. Vikings’ snaps, tied a Division I tion in passing offense, throwing record. Idaho State. Last season’s fi nal score be- FCS record with nine touchdown for 421.9 yards per game, while This season, both teams are aver- The No. 13 Wildcats, 7-2 over- tween the two looked like a basket- passes and threw for 485 yards. Weber State is second in the Big aging more than 30 points per game. all, are just two wins shy of captur- ball score – Weber State outlasted The two teams combined for 20 Sky behind the Vikings, averaging See BIG SKY, page 8 8 Montana Kaimin Sports Thursday, October 30, 2008 Do or die time for conflicted Northern Arizona defense Roman Stubbs Josh Luck – have received more MONTANA KAIMIN notoriety for their run support They are the great paradox than defending the pass. This of the Big Sky Conference – a week gets no easier as the sec- Northern Arizona defense that ondary faces Montana wide re- ranks first in stopping the run, ceivers Marc Mariani and Mike yet are second to last in the coun- Ferriter – who have combined for try in pass defense. over 1,400 yards and 19 touch- Now, after being throttled downs through eight games. 42-14 at home last weekend by “They have a really good Weber State, and with their post- secondary,” explained Montana season dreams hanging in the bal- quarterback Cole Bergquist, who ance Saturday in Missoula, the has been studying the Jacks’ unit real Northern Arizona defense all week. “A lot of teams have must stand up. Or wake up. gotten some yardage on them be- “It was (the Weber loss) a cause they play man free and they wake up call,” said All-American load the box to stop the run. So, cornerback Kevin Gerard. “It let you lick your chops a little bit as us know we have to come back a quarterback, seeing that.” and play hard.” Bergquist has said all year that How fitting it was, that even the 3-4 flex scheme presents the after Weber State star running Montana offense with its most back Trevyn Smith rushed for stern test – and Saturday should 103 yards against Gerard and be no exception. Northern Ari- company last week, the Lumber- zona has exerted great pressure jacks rushing yards allowed av- game in and game out this season erage grew to 18 yards per game – leading the country in sacks – equating to just 0.8 yards per with 36, while Montana has al- carry. lowed 29 sacks this season. That “They’re leading the free has a lean, athletic defensive line world in rush defense,” said Mon- licking their chops for Bergquist. tana head coach Bobby Hauck. Although youthful, ends Kyle Weber signal caller Cameron Rath (6-foo-4), Blayne Anderson Higgins, meanwhile, exposed the (6-foot-4) and Michael Battisti Achilles Heel of Northern’s 11- (6-foot-3) have been dynamic man mystery – throwing for 334 playmakers, combining for 13.5 yards and four touchdowns. That sacks. How the outfit handles total was conducive to the Lum- Montana’s physical offensive berjacks’ season average (306), line – a predominantly 300- which drops them into the cel- pound unit that whipped North- lar of FCS pass defenses at 117 ern Colorado last week – could out of 118 teams. Only Eastern be the gateway to victory. Washington’s defensive back- The most interesting account field has allowed more yards. of preparations this week came Even more ironic is that the out of Montana’s camp, with secondary corps is deeply tal- Hauck noting that teams have ented – from 2007 All-American completely abandoned the run cornerback Kevin Gerard, who is against the backdrop of Northern the leader in career interceptions Arizona’s performances this sea- among active players at the FCS son, electing to pass instead. The level, to senior safety Cyrus Igo- Griz running game has evolved no, who leads the team in tackles over the season and hit a high and was a lone bright spot for the note last week in Greeley, Colo., unit against Weber, picking off a when sophomore Chase Reynolds Higgins pass and racing 35 yards rushed for 137 yards on 14 car- for a touchdown. “We keep each ries. What was most telling was Photo Courtesy of Northern Arizona Media Relations other loose,” said Igono of his Northern Arizona cornerback Kevin Gerard runs after intercepting a pass against Arizona in the 2008 season opener. Montana’s commitment to the Gerard is the career interceptions leader among active players at the FCS level. relationship with Gerard. “He’s run early and often in their rout one of the best players on our of the Bears; Reynolds got eight “We would never go into a scheme. “Structurally, they take defense. team. I don’t have to talk to him carries on the first drive of the game not striving to be balanced a lot of the run game away.” [email protected] about technique or scheme.” game. Hauck said he will attack on offense,” Hauck said, trying But as the conference’s great *Northern Arizona Assistant Ath- But the Northern secondary – the teeth of Northern’s defense to explain the Northern Arizona anomaly has shown, it’s give letic Director Steve Shaff contrib- especially Igono and sophomore on Saturday – with the run. devotion to their run defense and take with the Lumberjack uted to this report.

BIG SKY of the league’s top spot. anchors the tough Bears defense, off…getting to 4-4 is going to the second longest in the Football Northern Colorado (1-6, 1-3) at leading the Big Sky with 89 total be a tough enough task for us,” Continued from page 7 Championship Subdivision, but Montana State (4-4, 2-2) tackles this season. Eagles coach Beau Baldwin said. the road isn’t going to get any eas- On the defensive side, the Vi- The Bobcats showed up big at Last season, a 37-yard field goal “Every week has basically a play- ier at Spanos Stadium in San Luis kings are second-to-last in the Sacramento State last week in a 31- with four seconds left in regulation off atmosphere to it. Whether our Obispo, Calif. league, allowing more than 430 20 victory, but now Montana State lifted Northern Colorado to a 16- backs are against the walls this Cal Poly is coming off a 69-41 yards per game, while Weber State has to do some work at home. The 13 win against Montana State. It week or last week, we’re just go- win against Southern Utah, further is first, limiting conference oppo- Bobcats have lost their last two was the Bears first Big Sky win. ing to try and play our best foot- stretching the nation’s top scoring nents to 300.2 yards per game. games at Bobcat Stadium. Sacramento State (3-5, 1-4) at ball come Saturday.” output at 44.83 points per game. At home, the Wildcats are 4-0, “We invested a lot in trying to Eastern Washington (3-4, 2-2) Eastern Washington’s Greg Mustangs quarterback Jonathan while Portland State is 0-4 on the win that game and to accomplish The Eagles have won four of Peach leads the nation with 14 sacks Daly was 22-of-26 for 410 yards road. that against a very good Sac State the last five against the Hornets, and 17 tackles for loss. The Buck and six touchdowns in the win Weber State is coming off a team was just terrific,” Montana however, Sacramento State picked Buchanan Award candidate boasts against Southern Utah. big win against Northern Arizo- State coach Rob Ash said. “We’re up a 21-20 victory the last time the 11 sacks in conference play. The Bengals’ defense directly na last week. Both teams entered in the same boat this week as we two teams met on Woodward Field In the league, Sacramento contrasts Poly’s potent offense. the contest at 4-0 in the Big Sky were last week, though.” in Cheney, Wash. State’s Mike Brannon sits behind Idaho State ranks 116th out of 118 and tied for first, but the Wildcats In the red zone, Montana State The Hornets are currently riding Peach in both categories, with nine teams in scoring defense, allowing delivered a 42-14 victory during has scored 20 touchdowns, convert- a three-game losing streak, while sacks and 12.5 tackles for loss. just over 40 points per game. the Lumberjacks’ homecoming in ing 24-of-27 opportunities. The Bob- Eastern Washington is looking to Idaho State (0-8, 0-5) at No. In the only other meeting with a Flagstaff, Ariz. The loss dropped cats face the top red zone defense in continue to bounce back after sev- 4 Cal Poly (5-1 overall, 2-0 in Big Sky team this season, Cal Poly Northern Arizona (4-1, 6-2) into the league in Northern Colorado. eral early setbacks. Last week, the Great West) dropped a 30-28 decision to Mon- a tie with No. 6 Montana for sec- The Bears have limited opponents Eagles had the week off. The Bengals are in search of tana on Sept. 6, the lone blemish ond place in the conference, giv- to only 69 percent in the red zone. “I don’t know the history of their first win this season. Idaho on the Mustangs’ record. ing Weber State sole possession Linebacker Cristian Sarmento 7-4 teams making it to the play- State’s 12-game losing streak is [email protected] 9 Thursday, October 30, 2008 Sports Montana Kaimin Griz, NAU collide Flying for the flag with plenty on the line

Roman Stubbs MONTANA KAIMIN

Expect nothing short of a playoff atmosphere Saturday at Washington-Grizzly Stadium. Offensively, Montana has been sizzling, racking up 84 points in two games. Defensive- ly, Northern Arizona (6-2, 4-1) is allowing 18 rushing yards a game. And they have one of the best defensive back tandems in the country in Kevin Gerard and Cyrus Igono. Something has got to give when the No. 19 Lumberjacks mix it up with Bobby Hauck’s No.-6-ranked troops on the first day of November, with sole pos- session of the Big Sky’s second place on the line. It has been a wild Big Sky Conference season, and the im- plications of Saturday’s matchup is yet another twist in the story- line. Not only does a win determine a true second placeholder, a loss also seriously dents the at-large bid resume for both clubs. Weber State can clinch its first outright Big Sky title with a win over its next two opponents, Portland State and Idaho State. “We’ll have a team that’s re- ally excited to play us on Satur- Bess Brownlee/Montana Kaimin day, that’s for sure,” said Hauck. Tyler Trudeau, of the Regulators, attempts to leap through defender Nick Gazzar, of the Pink Socks, during their intramural flag football matchup on Wednes- day afternoon near the Rec Center. “And hungry to win.” That Northern Arizona hunger stems from trying to salvage the 42-14 pummeling they took at game. That’s not what they do of the snaps, and the throw- to hopefully make some sort of ern Colorado) and the running the hands of Weber State a week with Kriesien in the game.” ing-prone Herrick are in the top impression that he’s not going to game has added a spark to the ago in Flagstaff, Ariz. What they do with Kriesien in seven of pass efficiency in the want to have the ball anymore,” Cole Bergquist-led aerial attack, The Wildcats, despite not hav- the game is lead the conference conference. he said. which is averaging 274 yards per ing top-receiving threat Bryan in rushing with 185 yards per Northern Arizona can only The Griz defense, before al- game. Etuati after the star receiver was contest. hope not to fall in a hole against lowing two touchdowns in the “The better we run the ball, arrested on an outstanding felony With starter Alex Henderson Montana like they did Weber final four minutes in their 41-20 the better we’re going to pass,” warrant last week, jumped out injured and out since mid-Sep- – and if they succeed, the Griz romp of Northern Colorado, had said Bergquist, who leads the Big to a 21-0 first quarter lead they tember, freshman Deonte Wil- front expects seeing a lot of ac- allowed just one touchdown in Sky and ranks second nationally never relinquished. liams has stepped into his role tivity from Kriesien’s feet. the previous 11 quarters since in passing efficiency (181.2). “If Along with shattering North- as the Big Sky’s second-leading “When you’re dealing with giving up 45 points to Weber you look at (our big plays) most ern’s hopes of taking the confer- rusher with 95.9 rushing yards an athlete like him, you always back on Oct. 4. of them, or all of them, have ence lead, they also surpassed per game. have to have your eyes and feet “We’ve played with a lot of come off play action or some the Jacks atop the total offense But Hauck also refers to Krie- in the proper place,” said junior emotion,” said safety Shann type of bootleg pass.” rankings, after holding Jerome sien as a running back, adding defensive tackle Austin Mullins, Schillinger. “You can definitely Protection and release of the Souers’ offense to 251 total that the nimble feet and stocky whose role has expanded with the tell when we’re out there flying ball by Bergquist could be key yards. Souers pulled starting frame of the southpaw (6-4, 240) absence of injured tackles Craig around and having fun. We can Saturday – the senior quarter- quarterback Lance Kriesien for gives the Lumberjacks’ running Mettler and Carson Bender. Mul- be pretty darn good. But we just back has been sacked 18 times in backup Michael Herrick in the attack an unconventional weap- lins recorded a sack last week at have to continue to play at that the past four games – especially second half. on. Northern Colorado. high level and not be a roller with the talented playmakers on “You can read a lot into that,” “Shoot, I think he’s bigger “When it comes time to tack- coaster.” the Jack’s defensive line. said Hauck. “Basically they were than anybody on our team,” he ling, you just have to wrap up Much of the intrigue of Sat- Junior lineman Michael Bat- down 21-0, and they had to go to said. “He’s a big running back in and drive your feet, and you have urday’s match-up emanates from tisti is fifth in the league with 5 their more opened up, throw-it- the backfield that throws the ball to take him (Kriesien) to the when Montana has the ball. sacks and sophomore defensive almost-every--down offense in well.” ground. Yes, Northern Arizona’s de- end Kyle Rath is just behind him the second half to get back in the Both Kriesien, who gets most “And you have to do it enough, fense leads the country in run de- with 4.5 sacks. fense, allowing just 18 yards per Hauck used two words Tues- game – but their pass defense is day – execution and improve- ranked 117th in the FCS, despite ment – as elements essential to The Kaimin is looking for... having an All-American corner his team turning the corner in the in Gerard and Igono, the latter most crucial leg of the year. A whom Hauck says plays much new season starts Saturday. “like a linebacker” in certain “We’ll find out a little more schemes. (about ourselves) this week,” Copy Editors Montana’s offense mean- Hauck said. “I’m determined and while, is rolling into Novem- pretty confident that we’ll play ber. The emergence of Chase our best football in the month of Apply now in Don Anderson Hall 208 Reynolds (14 carries, 137 yards, November.” two touchdowns against North- [email protected] 10 Montana Kaimin Sports Thursday, October 30, 2008 MORALES Continued from page 7 Phillies win wacky World Series design she doesn’t have or the col- ASSOCIATED PRESS its fi rst major sports championship los Ruiz ran out to grab him, and Star second baseman Chase Utley or she doesn’t have,” Selman said. in 25 years. No more references teammates sprinted to the mound alertly bluffed a throw to fi rst on When it comes to all her shoes PHILADELPHIA — Save the needed to those sad-sack Phillies to join them as towel-waving fans a grounder over the bag and in- and shorts, the label is the most jokes, the taunts and all those in- teams in the past and their 10,000- let loose. stead threw out Jason Bartlett at important part. It has to say either sults about the losingest team in plus losses. “At fi rst, I couldn’t believe it. the plate. Nike or Jordan on it. sports. “They could taste it just as And then the gravity of what hap- Pinch-hitter Geoff Jenkins, the Since Montana is a Nike- The Philadelphia Phillies just much as we could,” Series MVP pened hit me,” Lidge said. fi rst batter Wednesday night, dou- sponsored school, it works out won themselves a World Series. Cole Hamels said. A generation ago, it was Tug bled and later scored on Jayson for Morales, but she promises If that sounds strange, it was It was among the wackiest end- McGraw who went wild when the Werth’s bloop single. her decision to come here was strange. ings in baseball history, a best-of- Phillies won their fi rst title. A few In all, there were six new pitch- not entirely based on the Nike Nearly 50 hours after Game 5 seven series turned into a best-of- days after country singer Tim Mc- ers, three pinch-hitters and two sponsorship. started but was stopped by rain, 3½ showdown when play resumed Graw scattered his dad’s ashes on pinch-runners when play restart- “I wouldn’t pick a school just Brad Lidge and the Phillies fi n- in the bottom of the sixth inning the mound, it was Lidge’s turn to ed. for the kind of shoes,” she said. ished off the Tampa Bay Rays 4-3 tied at 2. throw the fi nal pitch. Manuel, whose NL East cham- Although, the Northern Colora- in a three-inning sprint Wednesday How bizarre? Hamels was a star Popular broadcaster Harry Ka- pions clinched a playoff spot in do women’s basketball team is of- night. in Game 5 — and the ace never las, in his fourth decade of doing the fi nal week, guided the Phillies’ ten the object of some jokes, since “It was a crazy way to win it stepped on the mound Wednesday Phillies games, serenaded the fes- second overall championship in the players have New Balance bas- with a suspended game, but we did night; Two Rays relievers warmed tive fans with a chorus of “High six World Series tries. The Phils ketball shoes, Morales said. and it’s over,” 45-year-old Phillies up to start, and there was a pinch- Hopes.” helped themselves by going 7-0 “I kind of make fun of them pitcher Jamie Moyer said. “It has hitter before a single pitch; “God Despite low TV ratings and mi- at home this postseason, beating because I would never want to go been a long wait, but it’s worth Bless America” was sung rather nus the majors’ most glamorous Milwaukee and the Dodgers in the to a school with New Balance or it.” than the national anthem, and it teams, fans will always remem- NL playoffs and then defeating the even Adidas shoes,” she said with Left in limbo by a two-day was quickly followed by the sev- ber how this one wrapped up. And Rays. a laugh. “I just like being differ- storm, the Phillies seesawed to enth-inning stretch. for the fi rst time in a long while, “I always thought we’d win ent.” their fi rst championship since All because the game was sus- kids saw a World Series champion the World Series. I knew we could The Lady Griz, Morales and 1980. Pedro Feliz singled home pended Monday night after rain crowned before bedtime. beat anyone in the league,” Man- former Griz players will play on the go-ahead run in the seventh made the fi eld into a quagmire, “I believe this fi rmly, our guys uel said. Sunday at Dahlberg Arena during and Lidge closed out his perfect washing out the foul lines, creat- are not going to be satisfi ed with- Once known as a city of cham- the annual Déjà Vu game at 2 p.m. season to deliver the title Philly ing a puddle at home plate and out playing in October from now pions, Philadelphia saw its sports You might even see Morales in craved for so long. turning every ball an adventure. on,” Rays manager Joe Maddon teams fall on hard times after Erv- a pair of new Jordans. Cheesesteaks, on the house. Commissioner Bud Selig eventu- said. “And that’s a good thing. And ing and Moses Malone led the Six- “I already just got two new “Who’s the world champion?” ally called it — fans booed loudly that’s all because of this group of ers to that 1983 title. pairs,” she said. manager Charlie Manuel asked the when he presented the MVP tro- people this year.” Since then, the Phillies, Eagles, [email protected] gleeful crowd during a 90-minute phy to Hamels. Reliever J.C. Romero got the Sixers and Flyers made it to the postgame ceremony that lasted For Philly, it was more than a win, his second of the Series. championship game or round — longer than Wednesday night’s ac- World Series win. Got the whole Hamels went 4-0 in fi ve post- seven times, in total — and lost all tion. city off the hook, actually. season starts, beating the Rays in of them. Bundled in parkas and blankets, Finally, long after Julius Erv- Game 1 and pitching six sharp in- The city became so starved for fans returned in force to Citizens ing led the Sixers to the 1983 NBA nings in the rain during Game 5. a crown that it was ready to throw Bank Park and saw the city claim title, something to celebrate. He was set to be the fi rst batter a parade down Broad Street for a How much did Philly fans want when the game resumed, and was horse. But local colt Smarty Jones a champion to call their own? immediately pulled for a pinch- lost, too, in his bid for the Triple Well, the sports hero they point hitter. Crown. to with the most pride isn’t even a While former NL MVPs Ryan Now, all those people can gath- real person — Rocky Balboa. Howard and Rollins drive the er for the celebration Friday — it’s Yo, Adrian ... the Phillies did Phillies, it was their less-heralded Halloween, and fans can dress up it! teammates who helped win it on as champions for Halloween. “It’s over,” shortstop Jimmy this chilly night. “People enjoy being associ- Rollins said. “It’s over, man.” Tied at 3, Pat Burrell led off the ated with winning and a world Lidge went 48-for-48 on save seventh with a drive off the cen- championship is the ultimate,” chances this year, including two ter-fi eld wall against J.P. Howell. Mike Schmidt, MVP of the Phil- this week. He retired two batters Chad Bradford relieved and one lies’ other championship, wrote in with a runner on second, striking out later Feliz singled home pinch- an e-mail to The Associated Press out pinch-hitter Eric Hinske to end runner Eric Bruntlett. this week. “It unites a town behind it. Rocco Baldelli’s solo home one team.” Lidge jumped in front of the run off Ryan Madson made it 3- Tampa Bay did itself proud, too, mound, landing on his knees with all in the top of the seventh. The until this fi nal week. Baseball’s arms outstretched. Catcher Car- Rays almost got more, but All- best success story this season, the worst-to-fi rst Rays played like the downtrodden Devil Rays from the past decade. Even so, the gap between the Phils and Rays wasn’t enormous. Had Evan Longoria’s late, long drive off Moyer in Game 3 not been blown back by the wind, the teams might still be playing. The Kaimin says: Thank goodness baseball season is over 11 Thursday, October 30, 2008 News Montana Kaimin Supreme Court sides with man in pot case

ASSOCIATED PRESS The Medical Marijuana Act, passed by voters in November HELENA—The director of a 2004, allows patients to use mari- statewide medical marijuana advo- juana if they suffer from diseases cacy group is calling a Wednesday like cancer, glaucoma and HIV, or decision by the Montana Supreme if they have chronic pain. Court a “big victory” for the state’s Nelson also argued McKinnon patients and voters. exceeded her authority in requiring In a 6-1 ruling, the high court him to obey all federal laws, since said District Judge Laurie McK- federal law prohibits marijuana innon overstepped her authority possession and allows no excep- with two sentencing conditions tions for medical marijuana use. she placed on Timothy Nelson of Attorneys for the state said Conrad. Nelson didn’t become a partici- Nelson was charged in May pant in Montana’s medical mari- 2006 after authorities searched juana program until after his ar- his house and found evidence of a rest, and his history suggested he marijuana growing operation. He may be addicted to the drug. They suffers from a degenerative disc said Nelson admitted he had used disorder and was later accepted marijuana illegally for years and into Montana’s medical marijuana sought protection under the Medi- program. cal Marijuana Act only “after he In February 2007, Nelson got caught.” pleaded no contest under a plea The Supreme Court sided with agreement to criminal posses- Nelson, reversing the two sentenc- sion or manufacture of dangerous ing conditions and remanding the drugs. case for further proceedings. Jus- During sentencing, McKinnon tice Jim Rice dissented. expressed concerns about Nel- The high court said state law al- son’s marijuana use and the fact lows qualifying patients to possess that he was raising two children. up to six marijuana plants and one She eventually gave him a three- ounce of “usable” marijuana. year deferred sentence subject to “In limiting Nelson to the in- 20 conditions. gestion of marijuana in pill form, Nelson filed an appeal chal- and requiring him to have a phy- lenging two of those conditions: sician’s prescription to do so, the an order than he not possess mari- District Court ignored the clear in- juana except in prescription pill tent of the voters of Montana that form, and an order that he comply a qualifying patient with a valid with all state and federal laws. registry identification card be law- He was joined by the American fully entitled to grow and consum- Civil Liberties Union Foundation er marijuana in legal amounts,” the of Montana and the advocacy and Supreme Court said. support group Patients and Fami- Tom Daubert of Helena, direc- lies United. tor of Patients and Families United, Nelson argued that McKinnon said the ruling was the high court’s ignored the intent of the Montana first in a medical marijuana case. Medical Marijuana Act and treated “We’re very pleased,” Daubert his medical marijuana use like it said. “We think this decision is a was illegal. He said the sentenc- big victory not only for the state’s ing conditions unduly restricted his suffering patients, but also for vot- use of marijuana and needlessly re- ers, because it affirms the voters’ quired him to suffer physical pain. decision.” 12 Montana Kaimin News Thursday, October 30, 2008 Steamrollin’ art

Eric Oravsky/ Montana Kaimin Fine Art students move a board into place for the steamroller Wednesday morning. The students pressed over 150 images onto cloth for the Festival of the Dead parade this coming Sunday.

eryone,” Brown said. tor for the Women’s Center, said DIALOGUE One of the four exhibits is titled the display is essentially a voting Continued from page 1 “Faces of the Pov,” a project that guide. It features Montana politi- features black and white photos cal candidates’ responses to ques- sity,” she said. and acrylic paintings of 10 indi- tions regarding issues that affect The keynote speaker at the viduals who were staying at the women, such as health care and event will be Elizabeth Birch, for- Poverello Center, a homeless shel- abortion. mer director of the Human Rights ter in Missoula, at the time of the In addition, participants can Campaign, the country’s largest project. create quilt squares representing lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans- The photos were taken by Cath- what diversity means to them, gender organization. rine L. Walters and the paintings Brown said. The squares will be Her address is titled “Gay Civil were done by Kimberly Ander- sewn together and displayed in the Rights: Its Impact on the Individu- son. Biographies will be displayed UC, she said. al, Business and Community” and alongside the portraits. There will be a performance is scheduled for 4:10 p.m. in the Because the subjects were in- by Unity Dance and Drum and the UC Ballroom. terviewed and photographed ear- UM African Dance Class at noon Presentations and workshops lier in the year, many of them have in the UC Atrium, Brown said. will be held throughout the day, since found a place to live, accord- All events are free and open to 13 of which will be led by fac- ing to Danielle Stricklin. the public. ulty members. They start in four “They are snapshots of people Brown estimates that about waves: 9:40 a.m., 11:10 a.m., 1:10 in a certain time,” she said. 1,400 people attended the event p.m. and 2:40 p.m. The Women’s Center and last year. Rapper Chuck D’s lec- A schedule of the events can Montana Women Vote will have ture last Thursday was a precursor be found online at www.umt.edu/ a display titled “Women Belong to the Day of Dialogue and attract- dayofdialogue/events.html. in the House and Senate.” Rachel ed 500 people. “I feel there’s something for ev- Wanderscheid, outreach coordina- [email protected] The Kaimin says: Your birthday suit is not a good costume

14 Montana Kaimin News Thursday, October 30, 2008

lords must meet for their property. son why an apartment would be the time that’s not the case.” “Right now, you fi ll out a paper ASUM The Landlord Tenant Act does overpriced.” However, renters can protect registration form and send it in. Continued from page 1 not currently defi ne a reasonable If the apartment is safe, “it themselves from this, Henderson Nothing would change. You would amount of heat that landlords are might be fairly priced,” he said. said. still send it to the same place the 2003. The bill outlines an appeal required to supply. The bill would also require “Do everything you can to doc- paper registrations go,” Hunter by ASUM to the state legislature “This is particularly problemat- property owners to provide the ument the condition of the prem- said. to require that an online registry of ic in the winter months,” said Hen- lessee with lease information upon ises. Pictures are good, a video Under the bill, you would need mold information be added to the derson, “when the heater breaks request. camera is even better,” he said. a driver’s license or state I.D. card law. and the landlord refuses to fi x it.” The problem, Henderson said, The best way to protect your for comparison to the secretary of A landlord is required to pro- The proposed addition to legis- is that renters may lose their copy security deposit is to “be ridicu- state’s records as a way to prevent vide a lessee with any information lation would specify that the prop- of the lease and the law does not lously anal,” said Henderson said. against registration fraud. regarding mold and mold testing erty must have the capacity to sup- require landlords to provide rent- ASUM also passed a bill urging “Anything we can do to in- on the property before the lease ply 70 degrees of heat. ers with another copy. the state legislature to consider an crease accessibility of registering is signed. This affords property “Landlords don’t have to keep The last component of the online voter registration process. people to vote is essential,” Hunter owners “total immunity” from any it at 70 all the time,” Henderson Landlord Tenant bill requires that President of ASUM Trevor said. mold-related damage to an occu- said, “but the unit has to be able to any extension of the lease be doc- Hunter cited successful online In other news, ASUM senator pant, Henderson said. maintain 70.” umented in writing and signed by voter registration processes in Ari- Lucas Hamilton became the new But, the law does not currently Senator Daniel Zolnikov was both parties. zona where there was a 9.5 percent ASUM lobbyist. He will spend guarantee that the information is concerned that this could raise This protects both the landlord increase in voter registration be- time in Helena lobbying for ASUM accurate or up-to-date, Henderson rental prices for students already and the tenant, Henderson said. tween 2002 and 2004. causes. said. strapped for cash. The third bill ASUM passed re- “You can do anything you want Hunter said Hamilton was the “The bill at the core of it creates “Short answer? We don’t garding tenant rights proposes that online. You can buy things, you best man for the job because he an online registry,” of mold infor- know,” Henderson said. “In other state legislatures give courts the can move money around in your emphasized including students in mation that a lessee can check on states that doesn’t seem to be the option of awarding more damages accounts, you can pay your taxes. the political process and taking his or her own, Henderson said. case.” to renters victimized by a wrong- Why can’t you register to vote?” them to the state capitol. ASUM also passed a three- Henderson, however, conceded ful withholding of their security Hunter said at a meeting on Mon- Referring to the student body, part bill that encourages the state that higher prices are a possibility. deposits. day. Hunter said, “Lucas truly under- legislature to update the Landlord “A landlord can set rent at what- “Sometimes this is just an hon- Hunter stressed that the bill stood that his drive comes from Tenant Act of 1977. It adds details ever they want,” he said. est disagreement,” between the would not fundamentally change this body.” to the legislation outlining specifi c ASUM business manager Alex renter and their landlord, Hender- anything in the registration pro- [email protected] safety and legal standards land- Gosline said, “I don’t see any rea- son said. “But the vast majority of cess. RECYCLE Fixin’ ‘em up RECYCLE M RECYCLE M K M K K

Eric Oravsky/Montana Kaimin Elliott Reed, Sara Cohen and Court Wallace assist Grace Phillips in a simulated spinal injury in front of McGill Hall Wednesday afternoon. The simulation was part of an EMT course offered this semster. 15 Thursday, October 30, 2008 News Montana Kaimin Deaths on the rise in In synch, frat style vehicle-animal crashes ident for research. ASSOCIATED PRESS The Governors Highway WASHINGTON — Fatalities Safety Association cautioned that from vehicle crashes with deer the numbers need to be looked at and other animals have more than in context, citing the more than doubled over the last 15 years, ac- 12,000 drunk driving deaths each cording to a new study by an auto year. insurance-funded highway safety “Deer crashes are a small high- group that cites urban sprawl over- way safety problem in terms of lapping into deer habitat. total deaths,” said the group’s The report by the Highway Loss spokesman, Jonathan Adkins. Data Institute found that 223 people “This problem is perceived to be died in animal-vehicle crashes last a lot more common than the real- year, up from 150 in 2000 and 101 ity.” in 1993. In 2004 study, the Insurance In- The Highway Loss Data Institute stitute for Highway Safety found and its sister organization, the Insur- that fencing, combined with un- ance Institute for Highway Safety, derpasses and overpasses, can be looked at both insurance claims and an effective way to prevent deer- federal crash data. According to the vehicles crashes. report, most accidents involving ani- As to the size of the problem, mals are with deer. McCartt said, “I agree that the “Urban sprawl means suburbia number doesn’t compare to the Bess Brownlee/Montana Kaimin and deer habitat intersect in many number of people killed in alco- Hoisted up by fellow members of Sigma Chi, Geoff Donovan pirouettes during their synchronized swim routine as parts of the country,” said Kim Ha- hol-related crashes, but it is going part of the Anchor Splash Fundraiser at Currents Aquatic Center on Wednesday evening. Various UM fraternities and zelbaker, the Highway Loss Data up. We’re not suggesting it’s of the sororities took part in an evening of water activities and fun to raise money and awareness on behalf of the Montana Institute’s senior vice president. same magnitude, but they do result School for the Deaf and Blind. “If you’re driving in areas where in injuries and death.” deer are prevalent, the caution flag The overall number of animal- your faces,” Doe said. feminine inclination to reach for is out, especially in November.” vehicle crashes is also on the rise. WOMEN We have no problem staring at chocolate, which triggers the same The study found that insurance The report says that State Farm Continued from page 6 our faces in mirrors, painting our part of the brain as an orgasm, try claims for crashes with animals is Insurance Co., the nation’s largest lips, blushing our cheeks, mim- masturbating instead. three times higher in November car insurer, has estimated 1.2 mil- to us. We can have clitoral, G- icking all of those sexy images For women interested in fur- than it is from January to Septem- lion claims industrywide for crash- gpot, cervical, and anal orgasms that surround us. If we’re going to ther exploring their sexuality, Doe ber. es with animals over a 12-month – just to start. We can also have spend the time making ourselves will be offering a special women’s “The months with the most period ending June 30 of this year. serial orgasms, one after another look sexy, why should we be workshop Nov. 5 in the University crash deaths coincide with fall State Farm says that claims for after another after another … and afraid to learn how to orgasm? Center. breeding season,” said Anne Mc- those types of crashes have in- so on. The sky’s the limit. The next time you feel that [email protected] Cartt, the Insurance Institute for creased nearly 15 percent over the And I’ve got a ladies-only par- Highway Safety’s senior vice pres- last five years. ty favor for you: a trigasm. That’s but Milla Jovovich is hot, so I’ll right, you read me right – a tri- MEN take her word on it. gasm, where three different types Continued from page 6 Though most men and women of orgasms occur simultaneously. have their own pre-conceived no- Although it’s rare, and comes only tions of sex, one theme can’t help with practice and self-awareness, themselves, known as “kegels,” but be overstated, and that is the we can cream ourselves right over that consist of sequential tighten- act should be nothing else but fun. “the wall.” ing and relaxing of the vaginal Like all things fun involving Women of the world, don’t be muscles. This can be aided by the other people, from hot air balloon- afraid of your sexuality. It doesn’t insertion of devices reminiscent ing to hot spooning, communica- make you a whore to enjoy sex. of small-time barbells for added tion and an open mind eases stress Even if you only have sex with strength. for both parties involved, and can one partner, you should be com- I shudder to think of the day lead to the discovery of hot and fortable and aware of your sexu- where I encounter a vixen of the undiscovered ways to get off. ality. It can only enhance your night packing a weight-lifting va- For all the men out there, Dr. partner’s experience if you’re gina. Something tells me that pick- Doe reminded everyone that there seeing stars right along with ing up a towel will be no match for would be a special “Gentleman’s them. As many types of orgasms the punishment barbell-wielding Night” discussion held in the Uni- as there are, as many types of genitalia could dish out. versity Center on Wednesday, Nov. sensual pleasure, it all comes Then Dr. Doe, possibly in a ges- 12 at 7:30 p.m. down to what we personally need ture to helpless geeks everywhere, “We hope you come,” she said. and want. described the physics behind the [email protected] “Your vulvas are as unique as full-body female orgasm with an allusion to “The 5th Element,” in a scene where … you know, I don’t really remember what that movie has to do with the female orgasm,

16 Montana Kaimin News Thursday, October 30, 2008 It’s time for the 3rd Annual...   “A competition for the ages” Great Kainmi Pum pkin-Off

• One pumpkin per student. • Carve a pumpkin with your weapon of choice. • Mascot and celebrity judge Monte will rate pumpkins on creativity and craftsmanship. • Best entry wins a prize and the coveted Golden Pumpkin Trophy.

• Submit the squash to Don Anderson Hall, Room 208, before 5 p.m. Thursday, October 30.

• The winner will be announced in the Kaimin on Halloween. The top fi ve entries will be featured in the paper. Proudly sponsored by Kaimin Arts (Also, the Kaimin is not responsible for any injuries that may occur while pumpkin carving).  www.montanakaimin.com The Kaimin says: M I’d rather be K bobbing for caramel apples

The Kiosk runs 4 days per week. Prepay- The Kaimin assumes no responsibility for RATES ment is required. Ads may be placed at advertisements which are placed in the Student/Faculty/Staff DAH 207 or via FAX: 243-5475, email: Kiosk. We urge all readers to use their $1.15 per 5-word line/day [email protected] or call 243-6541. best judgement and investigate fully any offers of employment, investment or re- Off Campus Lost and found ads may be placed lated topics before paying out any money. $1.25 per 5-word line/day in the Kiosk free of charge. They can kKAIMIN i oCLASSIFIEDS s k be 3 lines long and run for 3 days.

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AD REPRESENTATIVES: PRODUCTION: OFFICE ASSISTANTS: OFFICE MANAGER: Montana Kaimin Amanda Conley Jeff Osteen Cassie Kutzler Ruth Johnson Offi ce Staff: Matt Parker Joel Chipman Rachel Gundlach Jamie Purdy