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Wednesday, 14 October 2020 The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948 Volume 73, Number 8 From Farm to around north Table—A Food UVA Innocence Project grounds Adventure in Charlottesville Thumbs up to the Client Rojai Fentress free apples from Grace Tang ’21 Student Affairs. Foreign Correspondent While bobbing for apples is much harder with My first farm to table ex- Speaks at the Law School a mask on, ANG is willing perience was at a restaurant to try every crazy idea at called Borealis in Kitchener, least once. Ontario. The restaurant prid- ed itself on being “Obsessive- Thumbs down ly Local,” sourcing its ingre- to the UVA COV- dients from local farms and ID tracker, which producers in the area. I was seems to only up- skeptical about the quality date when it feels like it. of the food at first. Wouldn’t ANG has the same policy the restaurant’s ingredients for ANG's written assign- be limited? The restaurant ments ANG has to turn in. couldn’t serve exotic ingredi- ents, and sourcing from local Thumbs up to farms must take more effort people like ANG . . . I didn’t have high hopes. who make their However, after my first bite own fall break. Go of their twenty-eight-day- ahead, miss two days of aged steak paired with de- class. If you’re a Zoomer licious local vegetables, I nobody will notice. If you’re was a believer. I loved how in person, nobody will real- the restaurant changed its ize you’re gone because ev- menu to adapt to the seasons erybody looks the same in a and highlighted ingredients mask. that were in season. During the fall, the menu featured Thumbs down squash, pumpkin, and root Pictured: The Innocence Project investigates and litigates wrongful convictions of inmates throughout the Commonwealth of Virginia. Photo Courtesy of law.virginia.edu to the arrival of vegetables. In the spring, spooky season. there was fresh fish, rhubarb, Kathryn Querner ‘22 She added, “I was really Fatherree investigated Fen- Things were al- and asparagus. Going for a Executive Editor glad so many of the people tress’ claim with the goal of ready scary enough. Should meal at Borealis was always On Monday, October 5, who followed his story, signed overturning Fentress’ convic- we just skip to the part of a treat. Sourcing ingredients UVA Law Innocence Project his petition, and donated to tion on the basis of evidence the year where we all hear locally wasn’t a handicap client Rojai Fentress came to his fund got to hear from him strongly suggesting his in- “All I Want for Christmas for the restaurant; in fact, speak at the Law School. With directly.” nocence. Through her work is You” nonstop? Or is that it made the food that much the clinical assistance of the Many challenges lie ahead with the clinic, Fatherree also terrifying? fresher and more delicious. Innocence Project, which in- of Fentress on his journey to said that she was exposed to Despite supporting Bo- vestigated for years his claim pursuing innocence; for one, “the many problems in the Thumbs up to realis and the restaurant’s to innocence, Fentress was Fentress’ conditional pardon criminal justice system, one pumpkin pie. This values of sustainability, I released from prison just does not replace the Court’s being the difference in the is ANG’s PSA that never imagined that I could this past summer on a con- original verdict. Accordingly, amount of evidence required there’s more to fall do the same thing at home. ditional pardon by Governor the Innocence Project con- for a given case—specifically flavors than pumpkin spice I always imagined farm to Northam. He had been incar- tinues work with Fentress to those involving people who lattes. table cooking to be exorbi- cerated for twenty-four years. pursue his complete exonera- are more vulnerable and have tantly expensive and diffi- To investigate Fentress’ tion. Rachel Martin ’23, who less access to resources—to Thumbs down cult. In my mind, I pictured claim of innocence, students attended the event, observed, get a conviction, which does to judges who de- $10 per bunch spinach and of both of UVA Law’s Inno- “One of the things that made not always seem to rise to the nied Kanye a spot $50/oz steak. I assumed that cence Project clinics—the a big impression on me was necessary level.” on the 2020 bal- only the ultra-wealthy and academic for-credit clinic and how happy Rojai seemed. De- In an effort to learn more lot. How is ANG supposed privileged could enjoy farm the Student Pro Bono Clinic spite the incredible injustice about the organization that to know whether to write- to table cooking. (VIPS)—worked in conjunc- that was done to him and the has taken on and represented in “Kanye West,” “Kanye,” Things all started tion under the guidance of difficulties that lay ahead, he Fentress in his efforts to prove “Ye,” “Yeezy,” “Yeezus,” to change this summer. Clinical Directors Deirdre En- had a joyful smile and a light his innocence, I reached out “Pablo,” “Kan The Louis Through a series of interest- right ’92 and Jennifer Givens, in his eyes that I think most of specifically to VIPS—one of Vuitton Don,” or “The LeB- ing events, I began looking as well as VIPS Staff Attorney us would be hard-pressed to the two Innocence Project ron of Rhyme” on the bal- into shopping for meat in lo- Juliet Hatchet ’15. match.” clinics that investigated Fen- lot? cal farms. It turns out that a The event was coordinated Another attendee of the tress’ case. litigation partner at my law by Anne Bigler ’21, the lead event, Josh Short ’21, said, The Student Pro Bono Clin- Thumbs up to firm this past summer owns for VIPS fundraising and “Rojai had been wrongly ic, more commonly referred the Lakers and Broad Arrow, a farm market outreach, who commented, convicted and imprisoned to as VIPS (Virginia Inno- LeBron “The and butcher in Maine with “I think Rojai’s case was just for twenty-four years, yet he cence Project Student Group), Kanye of Basket- her husband. They supply a perfect example of how in- harbored no ill will toward enlists student volunteers to ball” James on their NBA high quality, pasture-raised credibly challenging it is to the prosecutors, witnesses, investigate claims by individ- championship. meat to all of the nice res- get innocent people out of etc. He is basically a poster uals who assert that they have taurants in the area. I looked prison. He was convicted in child for forgiveness. Also, been wrongfully incarcerated. Thumbs down into their website and was forty-five minutes and it took with all the doom and gloom The clinic is open to law stu- to the weather. surprised to see how afford- twenty-four years to get him in the world, he is a ray of dents of all years, unlike the ANG already able their products were. out. It was obviously a huge sunshine. There was a pretty academic clinic which is not sleeps in class, but This fall, after the school win for Rojai, who is picking special moment when he was available for 1Ls, and it is es- the rain provides another announced the Farm Share up a life he left at sixteen now describing his new apartment pecially relevant to students excuse. program, I started thinking at forty-years-old. He had just and he said something to the seeking to work on cases or about buying and cooking lo- moved into his first apartment effect of: ‘Here I am, a man, are interested in criminal jus- Thumbs up to cally again. When I lived in and got his driver’s license the loving life and everything it tice reform. two more weeks San Francisco last summer, day of the event. He is doing has to offer.’” Students are grouped into of heightened CO- I loved going to the farmer’s so well and is truly radiating Taylor Fatherree ’22 vol- teams; each team is assigned VID restrictions. ANG is market at the Civic Center joy. He is so grateful for every unteered with VIPS this past to investigate specific cases in happy that karma finally every week. Local farm- moment and never lost hope. school year (2019-20), and Virginia. Generally, the Inno- caught up to everyone who He’s extraordinary and a one her team worked on Fentress’ didn’t invite ANG to their FARM TO TABLE page 2 of a kind person.” case. Alongside her team, INNOCENCE page 6 illicit off-grounds ragers. 2 Columns VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 14 October 2020 FARM TO TABLE cluding grass-fed beef, forest- iron pan until cooked. The fed pork, pasteurized chicken pork chops were about an Taste This: On Old continued from page 1 and duck, and even goose on inch thick, and I seared them special occasions. for just over a minute on both ers would sell fresh produce The drive up to the farm sides. For the salad, I shaved Friends and New at excellent prices. I started was absolutely lovely; blue slices of radish, carrots, and looking into similar options skies and green hills flashed peppers on top of a bed of sal- in Charlottesville and found a by with glimpses of golden ad greens and topped off with Ramen treasure trove of local options. trees and black fences. When some extra virgin olive oil, In early elementary school, taining some delight concocted This week, I managed to we arrived at Free Union black sesame seeds, and bal- my friend Kevin was a char- in the twilight hours—Kevin snatch a last-minute Farm Grass Farm, a curious Aus- samic vinegar. Et voila! Din- acter. I remember his frumpy kept an irregular schedule. Share slot. The Farm Shares tralian Shepherd bounded up ner was served. bowl cut (it was the mid-90’s, “Holy s**t, Mike B. Just, taste are from Bellair Farms, locat- to us, wagging his tail. After The meal was super de- Michael Berdan ‘22 this,” he’d almost shout as he ed only fifteen miles from the purchasing a mountain of in- licious and fresh. The veg- Opinions Editor approached, “You’re gonna Law School. To celebrate the gredients, including the very etables were newly in season, f****** die.” I’d step back, won- amazing victory and free food, last pack of beef short ribs, and the pork chops were ten- not that my dering what it was he was go- I devised a local food chal- we learned that the good boy’s der and juicy. What’s more, I own kids don’t ing to present to me. More of- lenge for myself. I would have name is Gus, short for Gus- felt a great sense of satisfac- rock the bowl in ten than not, he didn’t give me to create a full meal made from tavo. tion when enjoying the meal, 2020); I remem- an option. “No, dude, trust me. 100 percent locally sourced Finally came the prepa- knowing that each bite was ber him saying a bad word to Open your boca.” He would of- ingredients from around the ration of my locally sourced grown and raised within thirty the teacher on at least one oc- ten insist on pouring the home- Charlottesville area. meal. The Farm Share I picked minutes of where I lived by casion; and I remember him made saffron-chai tea or ha- Remembering Broad Ar- up from the Law School came car. Plates were cleared in no taking his shirt off in line and banero-Baileys hot chocolate row, I decided to look around with a variety of sweet pep- time. getting scolded for it. I remem- into my mouth himself. Or on the Charlottesville area for a pers, salad greens, radishes, Overall, I was thrilled by ber very little bold misbehav- dropping a bite of bananas fos- local butcher and found Free and carrots. For the farm to my success in creating a farm ior of this kind at my idyllic ter, swimming in rum, onto my Union Grass Farm. The farm is table meal, I decided to use to table meal consisting of suburban elementary school tongue. Or he would crack the so named because grass is the some of the heritage pork only local main ingredients. in Washington State, so Kev- crust on one of three variations only thing that the animals eat chops and pair it with the Of course, some of the condi- in’s antics stand out like paint of crème brûlée, and spoon it on the property. Free Union fresh vegetables from Bellair ments like salt, pepper, bal- splatter all through my early into my mouth with a flourish. Grass is only a twenty-minute Farms. I prepared the pork samic vinegar, and sesame childhood. “Taste. That. S**t. Are you a lit- drive from the Law School and chops simply—salt, pepper, seeds were not sourced lo- Kevin disappeared for tle turned on right now? I am. offers a variety of meats, in- and then seared in a hot cast cally, but the key ingredients several years, though, before God, Mike B, you’re looking were all from the Charlottes- resurfacing in high school, sexy with that crème brûlée. ville area. The quest for a local returning from the Christian Feel the cream on your lips? So meal really changed my per- school where he’d been trans- good. Ugh. Right?!” Then he’d ception of farm to table food ferred. He rode my bus, since launch into a minutely detailed and eating locally. It made he lived in the nicer subdevel- explanation of his process. “So. me realize that purchasing in- opment that exited onto my I chilled the eggs overnight. I gredients from local farms is street. We became friends, used a candy thermometer to much easier and cheaper than as was easy to do back then. try adding the eggs to the milk I previously imagined. The Videogames, girls, books, and at three different tempera- whole experience was fun and food: four bridges between us tures…” rewarding. I challenge fellow that we crisscrossed in con- Food is like this. It’s the law students to create their versation every morning at the perfect meeting point between own farm to table meals! bus stop, on the bus, and after human basic need, sensual sat- --- school. At least once a week, isfaction, intellectual explora- [email protected] Kevin would come to the bus tion, and interpersonal connec- stop clutching a thermos, or a Pictured: Yes, your mouth is now watering. Shop local and make wonderful meals like this! Photo Courtesy of Grace Tang '21. packet of foil, either one con- RAMEN page 5 Super Awesome Show Review: The Boys

In these uncertain times, parents. Baby Boomers already that the season-long series of on that front.1 Some of the centenarian Nazi into it’s extremely important to think the entire world is out to jabs at the Marvel and DC Cin- fight scenes are still edited in a Anakin Skywalker on the maintain our mental health get them; they don’t need to ematic Universes—particularly choppy, confusing manner, but, low ground. Will Palmer ‘21 worry about an evil analogue of the wince-inducing “girl power” hey, not everything can be the • The leaked video of Home- Special Projects Editor Superman shooting them with moment in Avengers—wasn’t hospital shootout from Hard lander lasering a super- laser vision. going anywhere past making Boiled.2 villain abroad is a pretty The Boys is my favorite new fun. Leave it to The Boys to fol- A couple of odds and ends: apt encapsulation of cer- by distracting show of the past couple of low through and give female • I absolutely loved the fact tain aspects of US foreign ourselves from years. Not just because it would characters a chance to shine in that Black Noir’s only policy, right down to the the cascading horrify my folks, although that a brutally righteous fight scene weakness is a tree nut al- civilian casualties and mudslide of existential horrors is clearly a bonus (the last time that didn’t come across (to me, lergy. They even hinted cheesy thumbs-up before going on literally right now. I talked to my parents about a a man) as pandering or inor- at his aversion to Al- he flies away to let the Don’t think about it. Find ways TV show, I spent an hour ex- ganic. “Girls get it done,” in- mond Joys earlier in the locals deal with the prob- to ignore it as strenuously as plaining how the first episode deed. season! lems he exacerbated. possible. Ostriches live happy of M*A*S*H is “somewhat Strong performances • If you pay close attention, Fantastic! lives when they’re on the beach. problematic”). Spoiler alert for abound in this show, particu- the compound that Black If I had to rate Season Two How about wrapping yourself both seasons (of The Boys, not larly in Season Two—the big- Noir assaults in the sea- of The Boys on a scale of 1-10, in the warm, snuggly comfort of M*A*S*H) from here on out. gest standouts to me have been son premiere is pretty I would give it an 8.33 (repeat- superhero stories? Everybody The Boys starts with the Antony Starr (), much an exact replica of ing, of course). A couple of likes those, except for Commu- concept of “realistic” superhe- Aya Cash (Stormfront), Domi- Bin Laden’s hideout in episodes and side plots were nists. The most dominant form roes (what would happen if the nique McElligott (Queen Abbottabad.3 on the slow side, the editing of of superhero media today—the Flash sprinted into someone at Maeve) and Shawn Ashmore • I started being a huge fan the fight scenes could improve, Marvel Cinematic Universe— full speed?) and just runs with (Lamplighter), but the casting of Ryan when it was re- and a few threads were left has crafted a recipe for super- it. The show uses this frame- choices and acting are, over- vealed that he was mak- dangling in annoying fashion hero tales that is as wholesome, work to examine topics as all, very strong. I can nitpick ing stop-motion Lego (what’s Cindy been up to since palatable, and mildly unfulfill- wide-ranging as United States some things—for example, the remakes of Dances with she escaped Sage Grove in Epi- ing as Panera Bread. foreign policy, corporate greed, mediocre chemistry between Wolves and The Blind sode Six?). That said, Season Enter Jeff Bezos. Oh, Jeff. the dangers posed by neck- Hughie (Jack Quaid) and An- Side. You can’t not root Three could end up tying these You twisted little minx. I should beards who spend too much nie (Erin Moriarty) or the oc- for a kid like that, espe- side stories back into the main have known I was in for a wild time online, and the fact that Al- casionally cartoonish aspects cially when he turns a plotline in a rewarding way. I ride when I found out the series exandria Ocasio-Cortez has the of ’s performance am more than willing to give my friends had recommend- ability to make heads explode as Billy Butcher—but that’s not 1 They definitely didn’t the showrunners the benefit of ed—The Boys—was on Prime like the only memorable scene to say that the acting is bad by skimp on the gore budget, ei- the doubt when everything else Video. The sales pitch essen- in Scanners. We even got a sea- any means. It is, after all, based ther. In Episode Five, Kimiko has been so enjoyable thus far. tially went, “You like superhe- son-long subplot lampooning a on a darkly funny comic series; grabbed that one guy and took If you’re looking for something roes, right? What if they were religious collective that is 100% it should be cartoonish some- his face . . . off. new to watch that has a great f***** up? Like, really, really not representative of Scientol- times. cast, shocking and funny mo- f***** up?” ogy! It would take a long time to The show’s increased bud- 2 If you haven’t seen it, look ments, and amusingly subver- “How bad could it be?” I explain how the show ties these get is apparent in some of the up the single-take shot from sive takes on superheroes in thought. “I read the Wikipedia disparate threads together, larger-scale fight scenes and Hard Boiled online. That’s modern culture (among other page for Brightburn.” but I found that it did so with sets. It wasn’t a huge problem how you shoot an action scene. topics), you could do a lot worse The Wikipedia page for a generally high rate of success in Season One, but the CGI than The Boys. Brightburn doesn’t have jack (I should note that I found the was sometimes cheap-looking 3 I still find it hilarious that Oh, and one last thing: What’s on The Boys. Good lord. This is not-Scientology plotline to be a or distracting, and this season we killed Bin Laden and then up with all the Fresca? If you’ve not a show I would recommend bit overlong for what the payoff represents an improvement released his porn search his- got theories, get in touch. to my parents. In fact, I specifi- was). tory. Chalk another one up for --- cally disrecommended it to my Speaking of payoffs, I thought the good guys. [email protected] Wednesday, 14 October 2020 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Features 3 UVA Law Works of Art The Law School is home to a number of interesting works of art. Invariably, art elicits different and quirky opinions. We here at theLaw Weekly believe it is our duty to not only share the copious amounts of artwork at the School, especially with our virtual readers, but also give you our sea- soned art critiques. All photo credits to Devon Chenelle ’23 unless otherwise indicated.

Name: Follow the Leader - John Borden Evans, 2003 Drew Calamaro '21: On the first day of 1L, there was a crowd of people near the entrance of WB Hall, just mingling and meeting one another. I walked a little down the hall to go check out my locker, and stood in front of this painting. I thought to myself “oh my god this is us. We are being turned into Name: Untitled sheep by this school.” I have yet to see anything contrary to that. This school turns you into a sheeple. Drew Calamaro '21: This looks like a bunch Jacob Jones '21: These sheep represent the law school curve. Everybody’s clearly just trying to imi- of people’s bottom torsos standing without a top tate the smartest sheep in the front. But at the end of the day they all end up at the same place: the torso. Perhaps they went into one of those In- slaughterhouse we call the legal profession. diana Jones grave sites and got their top torsos Doug Graebner '21: The menacing army of sheep comes to claim us and subdue us across a haunt- cut off. That would explain the red in the back- ed, exhausted landscape destroyed by years of warfare by Demon Sheep. The dissonant serenity of a ground. The green signifies peace. This painting wintery tree only extends the alienation. is a masterpiece. Ben Stievater '22: A rare hand drawn sketch of a scene from the unreleased, grittier version of Disney’s 1997 animated classic Hercules, wherein the singing muses were all gruesomely decapitated by the Hydra mid-song. Good call, Disney—it’s a little too heavy for the kids. Jacob Smith '23: Electric bass guitars, hunting rifles, carvings of stork heads—it really doesn’t matter what “they” are. The important thing to remember as Halloween approaches is that evil things happen when you stick five of them together. Name: Arden Spring - Mary Paige Evans Jacob Jones '21: After the artist had finished shrieking and throwing paint, everyone politely clapped and pretended this had meaning. Kathryn Querner '22: Can’t believe someone framed my LRW final memo. This has to be like copyright infringement or something.

Name: Borrow View, Stoney Basin Polyptych - Ray Kass Name: Mortimer M. Caplin Leah Deskins '21: This piece of art has the exact same color scheme as my Leah Deskins '21: This portrait always reminds me of comforter and pillow shams. my grandfather, who also liked boxing and was probably a Jacob Jones '21: My class doodles have cooler geometric patterns. lawyer in another life. In this life, though, he was an ortho- Ben Stievater '22: Are you trying to tell me this isn’t a collage of Kleenex dontist. box patterns? Jacob Smith '23: As I walk to the Caplin pavilion, this painting gives me the impression that an enormously suc- cessful rich man is happy and I can enjoy the fruits of his labors. Jacob Jones '21: Mortimer Caplin has a warm smile that accepts you and your B+ average, despite your full ride he paid for.

Name: Untitled - Javier Tapia 1997 Drew Calamaro '21: This piece is untitled because Javier Tapia died in a painting accident before naming it. Many say he would have named it “Jail: a look inside of contracts.” I, myself, would have named it “The misery of networking.” Douglas Graebner '21: A fascinating meta-commentary on art criticism, showing the photographer’s gaze as he inflicts pseudo-sci- entific scrutiny on the artist’s self-expression. Phil Tonseth '22: This looks like the life of my dinner as it pro- gresses from my plate to the sewer. I'm not sure I ever wanted to see this in real life though. 4 Colophon VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 14 October 2020 LAW WEEKLY FEATURE: Court of Petty Appeals The Court of Petty Appeals is the highest appellate jurisdiction court at UVA Law. The Court has the power to review any and all decisions, conflicts, and disputes that arise involving, either directly, indirectly, or tangentially, the Law School or its students. The Court comprises eight associate justices and one Chief Justice. Opinions shall be released periodically and only in the official court reporter: the Virginia Law Weekly. Please email a brief summary of any and all con- flicts to [email protected]

Residents of the Pavil- albeit most likely unsurpris- tion as children. These are what plaintiffs subject them- to “fix” its fire alarms to the ion v. The Pavilion ing, method—this complaint the hallmarks of the Gen-Z selves to intentionally each standards specified by the 73 U.Va 8 (2020) can be wholly discredited as and Millennial experience typical Thursday, Friday, plaintiffs: Such an injunc- the alarm was functioning as and the clear cause of the in- and Saturday night. tion cannot, based upon Peterson, J., delivered intended. The cause of the sidious degradation of Amer- The plaintiffs’ breach of policy reasons, be allowed the opinion of the Court, other two alarms being trig- ica’s future and the mental contract claim fairs no bet- to move forward. To force a in which Chenelle, Birch, gered at inordinate times of fortitude of its youth. Courts ter—there can be no breach business to behave in such a Jones, Pickett, Schmid, Ber- the day and night has yet to have a serious policy interest when a company’s utilities manner would be to promote dan, and Tang J., and Luk, be determined. Neither par- in promoting the applica- are over-performing. Would perverse incentives for all C.J., join. ty has entered any evidence tion of the tough love these plaintiffs also return a race- businesses. It would incen- indicating why the alarms TikTok-ers and influencers horse if it ran faster than re- tivize little to no reactivity Justice Peterson delivered were triggered. The plaintiffs never received in their child- ported? Or, perhaps, would in fire alarms for fear of an the opinion of the Court. contend that, in the absence hood. Additionally, the legal the plaintiffs turn their identical case arising. The of a justifiable reason for side of the plaintiffs’ case is noses down at a meal more human cost of such an incen- the alarm, the harshness of just as destitute; there can delicious than promised? tive would be unimaginable This opinion is necessi- the fire alarms on their soft, be no recovery under these Overperformance on a con- if other apartments adopted tated by complaints over the untested, bourgeois ears circumstances. tractual obligation cannot be this policy. Due to the lack of poor maintenance of The qualifies as a tort deserving The first of the Residents’ the standard for breach now, a sustainable claim in both Pavilion (Pav), an apart- the tort and contracts issues ment building for students ver-performance on a contractual discussed earlier, as well as situated conveniently near the policy reasons necessi- North Grounds. The com- obligation cannot be the standard tating non-action on the part plaint at hand relates to the "O of the Court, this injunction overactivity of fire alarms in for breach now, nor has it ever been. The over- would be an unconscionable the building, which plain- measure which would surely tiffs of this class action al- performance of the fire alarms can be interpreted be seen as one of the greatest lege has negatively impacted housing tragedies in Char- not only their sleep, but also to mean one and only one thing, enhanced safety lottesville history. their willingness to rely on Conclusion the fire alarms in question. standards and precautions for those living in In conclusion, the Court As per usual, this Court has dismisses all of the plain- no jurisdiction over Darden Pav." tiff’s claims. Furthermore, students residing in Pav, nor the Court believes plaintiffs does this Court desire juris- of not only recognition, but claims is for damages result- nor has it ever been. The should grow up, toughen up, diction over—nor any rela- compensation. Additionally, ing from the overactivity of overperformance of the fire and buy some ear plugs if it’s tion with—Darden students. plaintiffs contend a breach the fire alarms in question. alarms can be interpreted to really that bad. And, ulti- The plaintiffs seek damages of contract with Pav, hop- The plaintiffs allege both a mean one and only one thing: mately, if that doesn’t satisfy for lost sleep and breach of ing to recover damages from tort stemming from a breach enhanced safety for those the plaintiffs’ sky-high stan- contract, as well as an in- the breach. Finally, plaintiffs of duty and a breach of con- living in Pav. In short, the dards, they might as well junction requiring Pav to seek an injunction for main- tract to reasonably maintain plaintiffs should be grateful just move to Ivy. provide adequate mainte- tenance of the alarms. the utilities within the apart- to live in such an accommo- nance of the fire alarms. Analysis ment complex. Both of these dating and concerned apart- It is so ordered. It is the conclusion of this The issue before us is, contentions amount to one ment complex—an apart- Court that not only did Pav per usual in the Court of thing—pure malarkey. While ment complex this Court is --- not breach its duty to its res- Petty Appeals, one of first Pav does share a special re- sure other businesses will idents by employing working impression. The Trial Court lationship with those who model themselves after. [email protected] fire alarms, but also that the of Petty Claims, having no have a lease and, thus, has We move to the plain- fire alarms in question can- desire to even entertain the a duty to those individuals, tiffs’ third claim, requesting not be faulted for being over- plaintiffs’ claims, declined there is still the question of an injunction to force Pav ly sensitive. to review the case and, in an whether there was a breach Facts unprecedented move, sent of that duty. And the answer During the month of Sep- the issue directly to Appeals. to that question is conclu- Faculty Quotes tember 2020, residents of Thus, this Court shall be re- sively to the negative. The Pav claim they experienced viewing the claims in full. fire alarms, while noisy, can- G. E. White: “Sending Swift listeners on Spotify.” three erroneous fire alarms. The plaintiffs’ case rests not possibly constitute the a severed head through the One of the alarms in ques- upon innumerable assump- amount of physical damage mail is inherently risky.” M. Collins: “Like all good tion is believed to have been tions of privileges that the required for a tort claim. Nor economists, Baxter starts his set off by a dubious indi- Court can only imagine are was the resulting emotional K. Kordana: “I am gener- article with an extravagant vidual intentionally creating the result of receiving par- distress stemming from, ally pro-evolution.” hypothetical.” smoke through an unknown, ticipation trophies and no as plaintiffs put it, “lack of shortage of parental affec- sleep” anything greater than J. Harrison: "This was a A. Coughlin: “Reasonable pipsqueak of a country popu- suspicion of shoplifting . . . lated by yahoos." or tax evasion! I’m trying to think of all the crimes I would Virginia Law Weekly L. Solum: "That will be actually commit.” hell; well, you’re already in COLOPHON hell, but that would be like the Heard a good professor Christina Luk ’21 lowest rings of hell.” quote? Email editor@law- Editor-in-Chief weekly.org C. Hwang: “I am among Kathryn Querner ‘22 the top 1 percent of Taylor Executive Editor Michael Schmid ‘21 Phil Tonseth ‘22 Jacob Jones ‘21 Managing Editor Production Editor Features Editor

Samuel Pickett ‘21 Will Palmer ‘21 Drew Calamaro ‘21 Columns Editor Special Projects Editor Satire Editor Kolleen Gladden ‘21 Raphael Cho ’21 Grace Tang ‘21 Photographer Cartoonist-in-Chief Foreign Correspondent Ben Stievater ‘22 Leah Deskins ‘21 Donna-Faye Imadi ‘22 Events Editor Professor Liaison Editor Current Events Editor Nate Wunderli ’22 Bill Re ’21 Amy Pan ‘22 Sports Editor Historian Lifestyle Editor Stanley Birch ’22 Marlyse Vieira ’22 Will McDermott ’22 News Editor New Media Editor Development Editor Michael Berdan ’22 Opinions Editor Published weekly on Wednesday except during holiday and examination periods and serving the Law School community at the University of Virginia, the Virginia Law Weekly (ISSN 0042-661X) is not an official publication of the University and does not necessarily express the views of the University. Any article appearing herein may be reproduced provided that credit is given to both the Virginia Law Weekly and the author of the article. Advanced written permission of the Virginia Law Weekly is also required for reproduction of any cartoon or illustration. Virginia Law Weekly 580 Massie Road Phone: 434.812.3229 University of Virginia School of Law [email protected] Charlottesville, Virginia 22903-1789 www.lawweekly.org EDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law School and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s) and not necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bear the name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns must either be submitted in hardcopy bearing a handwritten signature along with an electronic version, or be mailed from the author’s e-mail account. Sub- missions must be received by 12 p.m. Sunday before publication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines. Letters and/or columns over 1200 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissions for length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting our guidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published. Wednesday, 14 October 2020 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Hot Bench 5 Tweedledee and Tweedledum: Backing Into Parking Spaces Back, Back, Back It Up wheel left moves the head of ing spot, “Wow, good job?” No. talking, of course, about back- into spots.1 I’d tell you why my co-writer the vehicle to the right and But when that person pulls out, ing into parking spots. It is the Not only that, but the pur- is wrong about the merits of vice-versa. For these reasons, everyone in that car will crane backer-uppers who will ulti- ported “it makes pulling out pulling into a parking spot, but when you do have to back up, their neck back to ensure the mately cause our great coun- easier” argument defeats the Christina Luk ‘21 it makes sense to do it in a way car doesn’t get rear-ended: try to fail. We must not let that purpose of backing into a spot. Editor-in-Chief that minimizes risks. “Wait, hold on, hold on, okay— happen. Namely, because backing into The greatest risk on the you can go now.” Which would How often have you driven a spot makes you insufferable he didn’t actu- battleground we call the mod- you rather hear? to the grocery store in a hurry, as a driver. I don’t think that ally give me a ern-day parking lot is other Now, in our fair country, needing to get some sweet po- I have looked at a driver who reason why he’s people. You never know when I’m all for #freedom of park- tatoes or something during a backs into spots a single time right. I can tell an errant shopping cart, small ing. Do whatever you want. But commercial break? Invariably, and said to myself, “There is he’s annoyed, child, or car will pass behind if someone’s going to come for you turn into a parking lot aisle a good, decent driver who is though. Impatience can be you as you attempt to back backer-uppers, I think a few and are stopped by what you probably not terrible at driv- a terrible burden. In life, we out. Fortunately, that is not a words should be said in fair- think is someone pulling out ing. I’d love to ride in their car.” wait for many things. We wait problem when you back into a ness. My co-writer is a fan of of a spot. But, alas, it is just the The opposite, in fact, happens. for coffee, we wait for the bus, parking spot, because the cars social norms; I’ve got a norm opposite—it is a driver attempt- These are the same people who we wait for professors to grade around you are entirely sta- for naysayers to adopt: Back ing to back in. You sit and wait, go slower than the speed of our exams, and, sometimes, we tionary. up, let me drive. and wait, and wait, as they pull traffic on highways—a legiti- wait for people to park their More importantly, back- out, then pull in, then pull out mate threat to public safety.2 cars. What does it matter if ing into a parking spot makes it Go Straight In again, and finally, they slowly Now, whether we should take they park their car nose first or easier and safer to pull out. Af- I am a fan of social norms. back in. As you slowly pass away these people’s driver’s li- trunk first? ter you’ve picked up your sweet They are the reason why we them, you glare at them—they censes is up in the air—people The difference between the potatoes (or whatever it is you wear masks, why we hold the should feel the burn of your ha- need cars. However, at the very two comes out in the wash. It needed from Harris Teeter on a door for people, and why we tred for having the gall to make least, I think people who back might be faster to pull into a Wednesday afternoon) you can you wait to take your own spot into spots should be made to Drew Calamaro ‘21 parking spot, but we’re all fa- jump into your car and pull out like a normal human being. suffer angry glares in the park- Satire Editor miliar with the agonizing wait of your parking spot with a full The truth is, bad drivers ing lot constantly. We must to back out in a busy parking range of vision and confident go to the grocery back into spots. They’re utterly discourage this scourge of so- lot. On the other hand, you control of your vehicle—both store with the incapable of pulling out back- cial norms, until no one is left could spend some time backing things you need to deal with express goal of ward without hitting a person, to defend backing into spots. into a spot, and then smoothly other cars and pedestrian traf- speaking to no place, thing, or idea. The solu- You are the worst. pull out when you’re done. fic. one unless abso- tion, of course, is to practice --- Whether you prefer to do the One last thing, because I lutely necessary. These are the backing your car out slowly. [email protected] work upfront or afterward is a know the audience I write for: things that keep a society to- But instead, bad drivers make [email protected] matter of personal preference. It is way cooler to back into a gether, and ultimately are why others wait while they back in, From a safety standpoint, parking spot than it is to pull nations succeed for hundreds their fear palpable to the other though, there is a clear winner. in. There’s nothing like the of years. Social norms are the drivers around them. Backing 1 Trust me on this. Think of it this way: It is much sweet satisfaction of backing glue that society needs. into spots not only wastes oth- harder to drive backward than into a spot, smooth as silk, and It is through this lens that ers’ time—it wastes the driv- 2 But actually, if you drive forward. Not only is it difficult basking in the grudging admi- I write against a great evil that ers’ time as well. Studies have slower on highways than the to see behind you, because of ration of your peers. (That’s has plagued our nation for far shown that bad drivers have flow of traffic you are statis- your car’s natural blind spots, why we came to law school, too long. This is something that squandered as many as eigh- tically more dangerous than but the controls are also back- right?) Has anyone ever said to has the potential to bring down teen days of their lives backing someone who goes faster. ward—turning the steering a person who pulls into a park- our country from within. I am Look it up.

Corps. I reported to Quan- The United States has a called the Bilateral Coordi- RAMEN HOT tico, Virginia, in January very close relationship with nation Department where 2016 for training, amidst a the Philippines, and I was the ground services of the continued from page 2 bitter winter storm. I com- assigned to serve as the mil- Japanese and American tion—food is intimate. That’s BENCH missioned as an officer ten itary public affairs repre- militaries coordinate their why restaurant ventures will al- weeks later on March 26, sentative at the US embassy efforts. In that unit the US ways have a special intimacy to 2016, the proudest day of in Manila. In this capacity, Army is represented by a them. Every time I notice that my life. I stood at the intersection full bird colonel, the Japan a mom-and-pop restaurant has of the public affairs efforts Ground Self-Defense Force closed, I imagine conversations What did you do in the of the U.S. Department of is represented by a two-star the proprietors must have had Marines? Defense, the Department of general, and 1st Lieutenant about dollars and cents, stamp- I was a public affairs of- State, and the Armed Forc- Treacy represented the Ma- ing out the creativity and gen- ficer. Your role as a public es of the Philippines. I was rines. It was quite surreal, erosity of spirit that drove them affairs officer varies dras- briefing the ambassador two because when we had meet- to open their doors, until there tically based on what unit or three weeks after I got inga, the representative of was no way forward. you’re with. My job while there, and it was this mind- each service would be at COVID-19 has been uniquely Ethan Treacy ‘23 I was with the 31st Marine blowing experience, where the table, and it would be a cruel on this front, particularly Expeditionary Unit was I was one of the youngest, two-star general, a full bird crushing restaurants that rely Interviewed by Devon Chenelle ’23 primarily media relations, most junior officers to ever colonel, and then me. I was on in-person diners. It struck handling the public-facing fill that billet. The most in- representing to a foreign in this way against a unique Hi Ethan, welcome image of my unit and man- teresting project I worked military and sister service, restaurant in our city’s culinary to Hot Bench! Can you aging our team of public af- on was not well known on a unit of 30,000 Marines tapestry: Druknya House, the tell our readers where fairs Marines, which I did our side of the Pacific but commanded by a three-star only Tibetan restaurant in the you’re from? for roughly a year. For an is very well known in the general, so it was extremely area, which closed and vacated I’m originally from a little example of what my job en- Philippines: the return of important that I be accu- recently. I cannot speak to what town outside of Tallahassee, tailed, on my first deploy- the Balangiga Bells. When rate, professional, and that it means for one’s cultural cui- Florida, called Quincy. ment one of our MV-22B we fought the Philippine- I do my job well. sine to lose its single foothold Osprey tilt-rotor aircraft American Wars, an army in the region, but I will say that And then after high impacted the flight deck of unit took three bells from So, why did you leave we should be intentional about school, you went to UGA one of our amphibious as- a village in the Philippines. the Marine Corps? supporting unique cuisine in [University of Georgia]? sault ships and went over President Duterte and many Leaving the Corps was Charlottesville. In the place of Yep. It was just right. It into the water with twenty- others over the decades bad- the hardest thing I ever did Druknya House rose Mashu- was far enough away from six Marines onboard. Three ly wanted these bells back. during my time in the Ma- men, a new midscale ramen home so that I was in a new of them tragically died in President Trump and Sec- rines. Given my age, I felt spot, and, in a twisted form of place, but close enough that the accident. That’s a situa- retary of Defense Mattis got that my choice was leaving penance for not having saved I could easily make it back tion where my job is imme- an authorization to return when I did or staying in un- Druknya House, my wife and when I needed to. diately implicated. Our unit the bells, and it was the sto- til retirement. There were I went to the soft opening on is going to get a lot of media ry of the year, perhaps the too many other things that Saturday night. What did you do be- attention and my boss, the decade, for the US—Philip- I want to do in life, so I de- Mashumen has a fairly ex- tween your graduation commanding officer, needs pine relationship. People cided I wasn’t going to stay tensive menu, though the own- from UGA and joining to have a public affairs of- had been working for their for a whole career. I had al- er says it will expand further the Marine Corps? ficer to help advise him on return for decades, and a ways been interested in the after the soft opening period. I moved to Austin, Texas, how to handle the media couple days before I left, we law, so law school was the It includes several kinds of ra- and got a job as an insur- side of the situation as it de- had a big ceremony where next logical step. None of men: clear tonkatsu broth, ance salesman in January velops in real time. the bells were returned. my family or friends are sur- creamy broth, miso broth, and 2013. It took me about eight prised that I am here. all the variety of toppings you’d months to realize I didn’t Could you talk a little Let’s talk about your expect, over either straight or want to do that, and then about your time work- time as a liaison officer --- wavy noodles. There are also a I spent the next two years ing at the U.S. Embassy to a Japanese military [email protected] variety of appetizers, vegetar- preparing to join the Marine in the Philippines? unit. RAMEN page 6 There is a unit in Tokyo 6 The Back Page VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 14 October 2020 into trouble. One day, in junior that the Innocence Project at begun to focus more on cases RAMEN year, he stopped showing up INNOCENCE UVA Law had a big impact on involving DNA routes to exon- continued from page 5 to the bus stop. He wasn’t at continued from page 1 her decision to enter the crim- eration, as these cases tend to school, and didn’t return my inal law field. involve less in-person investi- ian options, soupless noodles, calls. No one knew where he cence Project takes on cases The clinic got its start when gation and thus pose less risk rice bowls, and even hand- was. Weeks later, I ran into from incarcerated individu- students who volunteered of exposure to COVID-19 for made pastries for dessert. My his mother at the store where als whose convictions are fi- with the academic Innocence students and those the teams wife and I had the Spicy Miso I worked, and she told me they nal and who have exhausted Project clinic as 2Ls wanted might want to interview. DNA and the Mayu (creamy) ramen. had shipped him off to a boot their appeals. The clinic is a way to continue working on cases tend to have more of an Both were excellent. camp program in Utah. Kevin a volunteer clinic, meaning Innocence Project cases; thus, emphasis on filing motions as The owner came out to our had been drinking heavily, that the hours worked by the VIPS provides these students a route to proving innocence. table, greeted us, and asked sneaking out, stealing things, clinic members count toward with the opportunity to work The clinic offers applica- us for feedback. “How was the being aggressive with his par- any pro bono requirement, on cases and further develop tions for student volunteers at soup? Was it too salty? Too ents, and despite his brilliance, including the graduation re- their criminal justice experi- the beginning of each school spicy? Were the toppings all failing school. When we con- quirement and PILA grants. ence for an additional year. year. And, for anyone who is good?” I’m both the right and nected on Facebook several Full-time Staff Attorney The unique partnership be- interested, the clinic is con- wrong person to ask, as I’m years later, I found out he’d Juliet Hatchett ’15 oversees tween VIPS and the academic sidering offering a winter pro obnoxiously opinionated even gone to a wilderness program, VIPS, facilitating student in- clinic, Hatchett shared, allows bono opportunity, through when not invited to share, but then an elite boarding school volvement and case manage- students to discover their pas- which student volunteers I’m not a ramen connoisseur. I for academically gifted youth ment. Hatchett volunteered sion for innocence project would assist the clinic in look- can wax Proustian about burg- with behavioral problems. I with VIPS when she was a work through the academic ing through potential cases to ers, tacos, or pie, but ramen haven’t seen him since he dis- student, and since then, the clinic then gives them the op- take on. Students hoping to isn’t my niche. appeared, though I hope to. clinic’s organization and en- portunity to develop that pas- learn more about VIPS and/ Talking to her reminded me I want to cook something for gagement have evolved. Be- sion by taking on a leadership or the winter pro bono oppor- of Kevin. She wanted me to like him. fore coming back to the Law role as a team leader at VIPS tunity can reach out to Hatch- what she made. She wanted the Mashumen: 2208 Fontaine School to serve in this po- the following year. ett ([email protected]. next person to like it. She was Ave, Ramen Bowls $12 - $20. sition, Hatchett practiced Due to COVID-19, the pro edu). willing to be vulnerable to see --- white-collar criminal defense bono clinic has shifted from --- that happen. Kevin’s vulner- [email protected] work in New York. She noted in-person to Zoom. It has also [email protected] ability often came masquerad-

ing as arrogance, and it got him Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Mon Oct 12 19:33:54 2020 GMT. Enjoy! GMT. 2020 19:33:54 12 Oct Mon on http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku by Generated

Pictured: This isn't your $.25 ramen. Mashumen knows what they're doing. Photo Courtesy of Michael Berdan '22. Pictured: Rojai Fentress celebrates his freedom due to the work of the Innocence Project. Photo Courtesy of cvilletomorrow.org Pictured: Professor Deirdre Enright who supervises the Innocence Porhect, celebrates with Rojai. Photo Courtesy of law.virginia.edu

TIME EVENT LOCATION COST FOOD? WEDNESDAY – October 14 Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty ratingSUDOKU 0.46) A Conversation With Jennifer McClellan ’97 on 17:00 Zoom Free L Race, Equity and 1 2 5 Policymaking OWLS presents "Working 17:00 – Your Work Experience" Zoom Free L 18:00 3 4 2 9 with Kevin and Annie 19:00 – Private Practice Careers Zoom Free L 20:00 in Health Law 2 7 What the November 19:15 – Election Means for Queer Zoom Free L 20:15 People 2 3 8 9 7 19:30 – Wellness Wednesday Zoom Free L 20:30 Yoga THURSDAY – October 15 5 4 12:00 – Ratified, but Now What: A Zoom Free L 13:00 Panel on the ERA t 17:30 – Immigration Law Society 7 3 9 1 8 Zoom Free L 18:30 Supreme Court Roundup 18:00 – How to Spot and Prevent Zoom Free L 19:00 an Unhealthy Relationship 2 1 FRIDAY – October 16 12:00 – Going Virtual in the World Zoom Free L 13:00 of COVID-19 4 3 7 6 o c k e VLW: White-Collar 12:30 – Litigation, Sponsored by Zoom Free L 13:30 Sullivan and Cromwell 1 2 8 15:00 – D Chicago Day Zoom Free L 16:00 PLACE and Power: A Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Mon Oct 12 19:33:54 2020 GMT. Enjoy! 16:00 – Conversation With Mary Zoom Free L Solution

h e 17:00

Nichols and Ann Carlson SATURDAY – October 17 5 3 4 7 6 8 2 1 9

T 12:00 – Live Music, Wine, and Available for Keswick Vineyards Free 6 2 7 9 1 3 5 8 4

16:00 Food Purchase

MONDAY – October 19 8 1 9 5 2 4 3 7 6 08:00 – 2 6 5 8 4 1 9 3 7 Meditation Monday Zoom Free L 09:00

Hewlett-Packard 1 4 3 6 9 7 8 5 2 Enterprise In-House 7 9 8 3 5 2 6 4 1

12:00 –

L Careers Session with Zoom Free 3 8 6 4 7 9 1 2 5 13:00

Rishi Varma, General

Counsel 9 7 1 2 8 5 4 6 3

Tuesday – October 20 4 5 2 1 3 6 7 9 8 16:00 – Firm Mix and Mingle for 0.46) rating difficulty (Medium, 1 Puzzle Zoom Free L 18:00 1Ls 17:00 – Available for PILA Chipotle Fundraiser Zoom Free 21:00 Purchase Does the Fourteenth 18:00 – Amendment Prohibit Zoom Free BYOCFA 19:15 Abortion?