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£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 Issue Number Two in the BENT COPPERS Series
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Also available from Oblique Publications the OBLAQUE series (Blake’s 7 slash) Oblaque Oblaquer Oblaquest Oblaque IV: to be taken intravenously Oblaque V: in venery veritas the BENT COPPERS series (The Professionals slash) …As a £3 Note the PÆAN TO PRIAPUS series (multi-media and literary slash) Volumes I, II, and III
…As Two £3 Notes is dedicated with love to LDM, most wonderful husband husband who put up with the madness of two zines in production simulta- neously. —CKC
2 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 £3£3£3 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 CONTENTS
CONTENTS
This is the zine that almost wasn’t—at least when it should ASSAULT AND BATTERY have been. But since you are reading this, then actually the Noli Me Tangere 5 zine eventually ‘was’, even though the editor and the Shoshanna Glaswegian should have their heads examined. For your Ambush 11 edification we highly recommend not producing two zines Thomas simultaneously if you are trying to do the majority of the November 23 writing yourselves. Thank God for our outside contributors Sebastian (Sebastian, Shoshanna, and Thomas) with their absolutely stunning stories. Now as to zine content: it’s mixed. If you BREAKING AND ENTERING want lighthearted and humorous, see Breaking and A Touch of English 57 Entering; for knockout dark emotion and angst, try Assault Emma Scot and Battery; and if you’ve a mind for sado-masochism in a Flight of Fancy 64 loving relationship, then the last story in three parts, Gael X. Ile Grievous Bodily Harm, is for you. Enjoy the zine. My Beautiful Launderette 72 Cally Donia —Caroline K. Carbis, Editor GRIEVOUS BODILY HARM Part I: In the Beginning 82 M. Fae Glasgow Part II: Seek and Ye Shall Find 93 M. Fae Glasgow Part III: Blessèd Are the Meek 108 M. Fae Glasgow
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Never touch me. You can look; I like you to Their hips bumped as they walked, and look at me. I love you to want me, but never, Jax rolled his eyes when he passed them in ever touch me. the hallway, having to turn sideways in the Doyle had never said it. He didn’t need to. narrow corridor to get by. Doyle was talking, Bodie followed him up the stairs to Cowley’s something about his weekend, his date with office, dutifully trailing behind to watch the Wendy, who had turned out to be every bit as swaying of Doyle’s buttocks, moulded firm athletic as she looked. “My back is killing me,” and separate and succulent by the grey he proclaimed, wincing with ostentatious jeans. His cock stirred restlessly, and he pride, and Bodie, watching the tanned twisted his hips as he moved to try to settle it, shoulders pushing against the dark red of his angrily looking away. A few steps above him, shirt, hyper-aware of the crumpled cotton Doyle ran a hand casually through his hair, where the shirttails were jammed carelessly pulling his gaze back to tangle with Doyle’s into the waistband of his jeans, against the fingers in the thick curls. It was uncanny, swell of his arse and the sweet curve of his how Doyle seemed to know when Bodie’s back, damned himself for the thousandth attention veered aside, just as he knew how time even as he spoke. Bodie would move in a shootout. Mentally “Want a backrub, then?” Bodie writhed, caught in a web of helpless, And Doyle’s head turned, his eyes meeting lusting resentment. Bodie’s in an openness that was so much a Doyle paused at the top of the stairway, lie, a lie like the open empty rooms at Auschwitz ushering him forward with an ostentatious with only the showerheads inside, an open- gesture that meant he figured Cowley’s mood ness that gaped like crocodile jaws and smiled for sour and was generously allowing Bodie like them. Doyle smiled, his lips parting ever the chance to go in first and sweeten him up. so slightly against white, white teeth, and Bodie thanked him as he deserved—a knowing shook his head. tilt of the head and narrowed eyes, brushing “No, thanks, mate.” And Bodie’s chest past him and past Betty’s desk into the inner burned and ached with an emptiness that office. Doyle shut the door softly behind filled his body, until he felt on the verge of them. bursting. Cowley’s mood was no sourer than usual, Three years as partners, before he had Doyle’s intuition having failed him this once, finally told Doyle about himself. Told him and Bodie listened with half an ear to the what so few others knew, save a few men here details of the stake-out they were assigned to. and there over the years, and his father, if the The rest of his senses, all but his sight and old man hadn’t washed the knowledge from that fraction of his hearing, were focussed on his brain with gin by now, hadn’t beached his his partner, standing so close beside him. liver on the bitter salt shore of the alcoholic’s Close enough to feel the heat from his body, implacable doom. And Cowley, of course. to hear him breathing, and to know—yes, as And Doyle, the only one he’d ever simply told, they turned to leave came the gesture Bodie rather than admitting it, or wordlessly had expected, Doyle’s arm slung casually, sounding out a like-minded man, or being mate-like, across his shoulders. caught pants down in the most compromis- I can touch you. I like to touch you. But ing of positions by his da. never, never touch me. “Something you should know, Doyle. I’m
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 5 NOLI ME TANGERE £3£3£3 SHOSHANNA £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3
gay.” he never even remembered Doyle’s enticing And Doyle, head tilted, had motionlessly appeal, his own desperate, hopeless lust; and absorbed the words, expression absolutely he had begun to like the fights these past few unchanged. Saying nothing, beyond a tone- months, begun to look forward to the whine less murmur of acknowledgement. He had of bullets and the smell of fear and sweat and sat a moment, eyes open and impermeable, blood as a respite from the smell of his own while Bodie burned with tension and need and the wistful, desolate ache in his adrenaline skipped and sizzled in his blood balls. His cock, at least, knew that he had to like hot oil on a pan; and then he had leaned be alive to have even the chance of having sex. forward a little in Bodie’s old armchair, gazing Even driving required some of his attention, through the dimness of Bodie’s sitting room, which was why he had taken to habitual where dusk had fallen before Bodie had speeding. found the courage to say what he had said. He But a watching post was sheer torment. A had leaned forward and propped his elbow on creaky lift sullenly delivered them to the the chair’s padded arm, watching Bodie fidget fourth-floor surveillance flat, which offered without moving on the couch, and asked one one chair by the window, next to the camera question. with telescopic lens fixed to the windowframe, “Do you want me, Bodie?” and a broken-down couch for the agent off And Bodie, burning with strain that was duty. An hour of staring out a window, hearing not quite embarrassment, that was not yet the little whispering sounds of Doyle moving rage and not yet despair but that was definitely, behind him; and then an hour of nothing to oh, so unquestionably, desire, had numbly do but watch Doyle, while Doyle watched out nodded, had said the word that bound him to the window. Nothing to do but trace the line the unholy pact Doyle had sealed them in of Doyle’s arm, the jewel-like drops of sweat ever since. caught in the crook of his elbow where he had “Yes.” rolled his sleeve up in the sticky August And had watched, not yet comprehending, afternoon, and wonder what the glinting as Doyle gave a tiny smile and sank back into beads would taste like on his tongue; nothing the chair, his legs just slightly more sprawled to do but talk absently about nothing, nothing than before, his chest so open—and his that would distract the watcher from his job, mouth hard, his lips tight and narrowed even or the other watcher from his yearning. as they curved, ever so slightly. The couch’s springs had long since given Never touch me, Bodie. up all hope of resistance, and Bodie could not They were in the rest room now, with time sit stiffly upright despite his efforts, but found to grab a cup of coffee and to glance at the himself willy-nilly half-sprawled in its pas- papers before taking over surveillance from sively clinging embrace. His legs had fallen Mac and Lucas. Bodie poured himself a cup slightly apart, and his cock whimpered and and handed another to Doyle without asking. stirred as Doyle shifted in his own seat before His fingers tingled where they touched Doyle’s the camera, one booted foot propped against hand across the battered china, and he shoved the wall, the hard line of thigh muscle shading them into his pocket, hating the longing that into hip and buttock clearly visible. Bodie grew in him every time he looked at Doyle’s clenched his fist, willing the pulsing away, body, at the sweet strong lines of his back and knowing that somehow Doyle could sense it arms, the full lips and tousled hair and… He from across the room, sensed it and was clenched his hand into a fist; the movement pleased with this further evidence of his pulled the cloth of his trousers tight against desirability, of how much Bodie wanted him. his crotch, and his cock throbbed. At first he hadn’t understood. At first he Surveillance was the worst. Moving, talk- had hoped that Doyle’s silent reception of his ing to people or trying to track some lout blurted secret, Doyle’s tiny smile, meant the through the seamy docks of London, he could acceptance, the receptivity he hadn’t dared keep his mind on other things. In a shootout hope for. He’d learned the truth of that soon
6 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SHOSHANNA £3£3£3 NOLI ME TANGERE £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 enough. He and Doyle had always touched, spoken of, if the sheet-ice of silence were casually: a hand on the shoulder, a mock shattered and Doyle put into words what he punch to the jaw in retaliation for some said, unspeaking, twenty times a day by the particularly ribald joke or boast. But Doyle tilt of his head and the flowing line of his had moved away from his hand, after that, hand’s turn, Bodie too would shatter. He had shifted out from under the arm across could deal with this—he hoped—so long as it his shoulders, refused the massage that would was all he had to deal with, wishing vainly to ease a twisted muscle. And yet, all the while, club down his surging erection as it tried and he had not stopped touching Bodie. If any- tried to span the distance between them. He thing, the touches had increased: the hand could fuck a woman or the rare man, he could guiding his, the finger drawn so lightly along jerk off at night in the dark and never breathe the bullet-burned skin of his thigh. Touching the name he was calling inside; but if Doyle lightly, so lightly, until Bodie’s cock surged once laid the weight of his guilt on top of the and his hand lifted, seeking, and Doyle, pain and longing Bodie already carried, if smiling ever so slightly, moved away. Doyle came to him for absolution as he had And for another, longer, while, Bodie hadn’t for the hostage shot in the fray, for the understood how Doyle could act so. How animals clubbed to make his dinner, it would could his partner, famous for his guilt-trips be unsupportable. The pain of his own balls and surges of remorse, be behaving so to him, aching, the wail of his hopeless, helpless be taunting and teasing him with his body longing, those he could deal with. After all, and his movements and always, always that hadn’t he, for all this time? faint twist of his lips, that tiny self-satisfied Doyle shifted and stood up from his chair, smile? Even Cowley had been known to say his hands pressing at the base of his spine as that 4.5 was too hard on himself, and Bodie he stretched, arching his back to work the had had to jolly him out of more than a few stiffness from his muscles, and Bodie, bouts of lachrymose self-recrimination, moods watching, knew just how those muscles would where he seemed to take the sins of the world feel under his hands, under the strong, upon his narrow shoulders and suffer for gripping massage he knew Doyle liked, the them all. As if he hadn’t enough of his own, kind Bodie had given his partner before this and as if his own—then, at least—weren’t endless game had begun. Doyle stretched nearly worth the production he made of and came to stand before Bodie, not quite them. close enough to be standing between his But even that had come clear to him in parted legs, and looked at Bodie looking at time. Doyle fell into black moods of contrition, him. His eyes moved up the length of Bodie’s clammy pits of upwelling guilt, because he body, half-reclining in the unsupportive felt responsible. After all, one couldn’t be couch, not pausing at the bulge at Bodie’s guilty of something one wasn’t responsible crotch. Bodie kept his hands ostentatiously for. And to be responsible meant to have away from both his partner and himself, one power. Doyle revelled in power in the same arm along the back of the couch, the other way he wallowed in guilt; it was the opposite resting beside him. Doyle took a small step, of the same coin, the dark side of the mirror. tilting his hips forward ever so slightly, to Someday, perhaps, he would come to feel show how soft and small his own genitals guilty for the way he revelled in his power over were, how unaffected he was by Bodie’s Bodie, the way Bodie responded, helplessly, yearning desire. Bodie longed to bury his face to every flaunting pose. Bodie hoped not. there, to smell him and taste him, and roughly That, he knew, would be more than he could he reined his thoughts in, jerked them harshly bear. This unspoken, unacknowledged back to listen to what Doyle was saying. commanding, this lure set for him like a Which was nothing important, of course. mechanical rabbit before the racing dogs that Bodie obediently got up and took his partner’s moved always faster than they could run, he place at the window, listening to Doyle pee in could deal with. He hoped. But if it ever were the flat’s dingy toilet, trying to keep his eyes
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fixed on the house across the street and so far toilet but decided that such uselessly trans- below, when most of his mind was wondering parent camouflage was worse than nothing, which hand Doyle held his cock in, while he washed his face and hands in the coldest urinated. He wrote with his right hand, but he water the tap would yield in the August heat, shot with both…and how did he hold it, and, steeling himself, went back into the fingers supporting the gentle curl of pliant other room. To watch. flesh, his thumb delicately angling the head The rest of the afternoon was no more as he stood, legs slightly apart, just as he had unbearable than any number of others had stood before Bodie only a moment ago? been before it. His erection diminished Bodie’s cock was throbbing now, more eventually, but his longing remained; and than half hard and painfully caught under whenever he seemed likely to forget, Doyle the seam of his trousers. Carefully, longingly would be there, stretching his legs or rubbing he reached down and began to shift it—not to away the sweat that trickled down his chest, stroke, no, never so close to Doyle, but to ease to remind him. Bodie bit the inside of his the pain of flesh twisted and complaining. cheek and kept his hands away from himself, But as his hand slid across the bulge he forbade his fingers to curl into fists of helpless heard the gurgling flush and the door open- fury. ing, and he ripped his hand away from himself And finally, although the time dragged like with such force that he knew Doyle must molasses, and although in the endless, have noticed as he came back into the room, creeping hours they saw not one movement still tucking, oh, so casually, his shirt back in the house across the way, finally it was into his skin-tight jeans. But Doyle only seven o’clock and Jax and Filbert were looked at him, as Bodie stared back, feeling swinging the door open, calling out incon- naked and vulnerable and all awkward gruously cheery greetings as they prepared to erection and clumsy hands and pleading take the evening shift. They were laughing eyes; and then Bodie pushed himself up and over something, and Filbert was wearing a gave Doyle back his position, even though it skirt that showed off the trimness of her waist was his own shift by this time anyway, and and the fine, smooth line of her leg; Doyle bolted for the toilet. eyed it and lifted his eyes to Bodie, who He had meant to jerk off, of course he had, lowered his. Doyle said something to her, but once there, standing over the gaping something gallantly flirtatious with just the porcelain bowl with his keening cock in his right hint of self-satire, and Filbert laughed hand, harsh light from the bare bulb ham- again and kissed him peremptorily on the mering his eyes, he knew he couldn’t. Couldn’t, mouth before shooing him out. Doyle pursed because he knew how thin the door was, his lips and glanced again at Bodie, smiling knew that Doyle would know what he was that faint, smug smile. doing, in here with the door shut and no Bodie had gone ahead—not fleeing, never sound of pattering urine in the bowl. But the that, just moving ahead—and held the lift image of Doyle standing where he was doors open for the other man as he swung standing, only a moment ago, with his cock himself out of the flat’s entrance and saun- cradled in his hand as Bodie longed to cradle tered down the hall. He was carrying one it, sent stabs of aching arousal through his hand before him, and as he fell in beside balls and into the pit of his stomach, rising Bodie and the lift doors groaned unwillingly into his chest and making his lungs burn and shut, he showed him the small welling of his throat thicken. He squeezed his penis blood, ruby-red, on his fingertip. “Splinter hard, until it hurt, and then carefully packed from the door-frame,” he informed his part- it back into his clothing, settling it as best he ner, and then put the finger, oh, so slowly, could, knowing that he could never hide his into his mouth, and closed his lips around it. desire whether he had an erection or not, and Bodie’s knees trembled. He stared, riveted, knowing that Doyle liked it that way. He at the faint hollows in Doyle’s cheeks as he thought for a moment about flushing the sucked, and his cock awoke and surged
8 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SHOSHANNA £3£3£3 NOLI ME TANGERE £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 demandingly against its cloth confinement. whispering of heady, forbidden things. Doyle’s finger was wet and shiny against his Bodie dragged in a rasping breath. “Open lips, and Bodie wanted to suck it, and his your shirt.” cock was wailing now, all the desire of the day That seemed to startle Doyle, for a moment. and the month and the three years pounding His eyes jerked up to Bodie’s face, and his lips in his groin; he fell back against the wall of the tightened briefly. Bodie knew what he was lift and leaned there, his head spinning like a saying, and couldn’t bear to have it spoken weathervane in a gale. “Doyle…” aloud. And Doyle smiled, ever so slightly, around “Please,” he said hoarsely, and hated the hard wet finger in his mouth. himself for begging. But for Doyle to put Bodie’s left hand slammed against the anything into words would be worse. “Let me emergency stop button, and the lift ground to see your nipples.” a halt, halfway between floors. Doyle’s eyes And as Bodie had known it would, that never left his. made it better. Let me look, he had implored. Never touch me. Want me. Look. Don’t touch. Bodie groaned, and his other hand left its Slowly, as the movement of Bodie’s hand white-nailed press against the wall, stooping slowed to match, Doyle’s fingers moved to the like a falcon freed from hood and jesses to buttons of his shirt. Slowly he undid them, fasten on the aching bulge of his cock. He starting from the top, so that the cotton gaped caught his breath in surprise as much as open and the curly hair spread lush and pleasure, and in torment more than either. thick, and Bodie’s hand tightened, imagining Doyle’s eyes widened, but he didn’t move. the curls scratchy against his chest. Or his Bodie was helpless now, one hand rubbing back. Doyle’s hands moved downward, pulling over his fly, shoving and pressing against his the shirt from his jeans to undo the last two hard need, the other flat against the wall, buttons, then freeing the cloth in back as trying to maintain his balance. He felt dizzy; well, so that it hung limp and open, like a veil, the motionless lift seemed to be plummeting trembling with his breathing. Bodie trembled into some undreamed-of depths where any- against the wall. thing might happen, anything at all… He And Doyle, slowly, unspeaking, pulled the realized that his zip was undone, his trousers cloth aside, half off his shoulders so that his gaping open and his cock pushing through, chest was bare and his nipples were revealed, searching for his touch, and for Doyle who nestled among the curls, pinkish-brown and stood, smiling faintly, watching him. He small, tender and inviting. Bodie licked his pushed his pants aside and took the shaft in lips, watching them, imagining them hard his hand, palm against bare skin, and stroked and erect in his mouth, knowing that Doyle himself, moaning. knew what he was fantasizing, and his hand Doyle took his finger out of his mouth and moved faster on his cock and his breath let his hands fall to his sides. Bodie slid his caught in his throat. He stared, blocking out hand along the taut curve of his need, cup- everything else except the tantalizing nubs of ping the head, and stared at Doyle as if his flesh not a meter from his mouth, as Doyle gaze would burn. The green eyes held his a faced him from the opposite wall of the lift. His moment longer, and then Doyle looked away, cock was arching up, pushing into his hand glancing down to watch Bodie’s hand work- as he pumped it, oozing precome so that he ing the length of his cock. That freed Bodie’s slicked his palm over his cockhead and gasped gaze to move down the curve of Doyle’s jaw, with the sharp stab of pleasure, moaning to slide along the tendons of his neck where again. Bodie longed to trail his tongue, and to come Doyle’s hands were hanging by his side then to the wrinkled red cotton that rose and again, empty. Bodie knew he was going to fell, evenly, with Doyle’s breathing. Hair curled come soon, could feel the orgasm roiling in invitingly in the open neck of his shirt, half- his balls and stretching the skin of his cock hiding under the cloth to brush against it, like a balloon swelling, ready to burst. But he
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didn’t want to come, and not only because the was gasping now, his hand moving in short pleasure, the desperate yearning pleasure of jerky sweeps, his eyes riveted to the soft swell watching Doyle watch him as he pulled his of cock that was barely revealed above the cock was so achingly wonderful, not only white briefs. One hand drifted upward and because he could tell this orgasm would Bodie wrenched his gaze away to follow it; shake his teeth in his jaw when it hit. He Doyle stroked a finger across his nipple, didn’t want to come because he had no idea watching Bodie all the while, and then let his how he and Doyle could possibly deal with hands fall again. Bodie stared again at Doyle’s each other after this, after he had finally half-hidden penis, letting it fill his vision, broken under the unspoken unadmitted imagining he could smell it, taste it, feel it in flaunting and done this right under Doyle’s his mouth as he longed to do, and knowing nose. He didn’t want it to end, because the that Doyle watched every motion he pumped end of this might be the end of everything. fiercely on his own arousal, longing to crush And if it was going to be the end of every- himself against the soft inviting musk of thing, he would have everything that he could Doyle’s crotch, crying out now as he gasped, get. Both hands were moving on him now, his as his hands moved, squeezing his balls and left cradling his balls, massaging and rolling clutching desperately at himself and with a them to ease the pressure, feeling them tighten convulsive, choking yell he climaxed, the and draw up to the shaft of his cock; he semen spurting between his fingers and arcing wished he could reach to get a finger or two up through the air to splatter on the dingy floor. his ass, but with his trousers still tangled Doyle moved aside, avoiding it. around his thighs it was impossible. But he Panting harshly, Bodie slowed his hands, wanted more. He licked his lips, wishing for feeling his flesh go limp and sodden, his some part, any part, of Doyle in his mouth. fingers sticky. He slumped back against the “Undo your trousers.” wall and wiped his hands on his pants. His No hesitation this time, just the slow, heart was pounding. He was afraid to look up, considered movement of thin artist’s hands so he forced himself to. to the button of the grey jeans. Bodie squeezed Doyle was tucking his shirt back into his his cockhead convulsively as Doyle slid his trousers, zipping himself neatly away. He met zip down and pushed the tight fabric a little Bodie’s eyes calmly, then glanced down at the off his hips. He hooked his thumbs under the splash of semen on the floor, and beside it his elastic of his pants and slid it down until the boots pristine, untouched. He smiled, faintly. profusion of pubic hair could be seen; Bodie for the Glaswegian and her partner
10 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 THOMAS £3£3£3 AMBUSH £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 AMBUSH THOMAS
DOYLE WIPED SWEAT from his eyes with a pawing the ground. Loved this sort of thing, shaky hand, panting with exertion. Ahead Bodie did, Doyle thought in disgust, re- came the splatter of explosions, muffled by membering the glitter of excitement in his dirt-caked tunnel walls, though he couldn’t partner’s eyes as they headed out. tell if the noise was real or an echo. Fear He didn’t know why the hell he cared. threaded through his veins to his heart and Especially considering he didn’t even like he clenched his fingers tighter around the Bodie much any more, not the way he used barrel of his rifle. He liked being afraid: he to. They quarreled continually, even on the knew he was alert that way, and still alive. job. He crawled forward, dragging himself along, His r/t let off a screech of static and went grimly ignoring the dust he sucked in with silent. Christ, the others must be in position every breath, his eyes aching to see despite already. the total blackness around him. How much further was it anyway? 100 Bloody terrorists, seeding an abandoned meters hadn’t seemed that far on the map, mine-shaft with half a dozen bombs. Bloody but he felt like he’d been trapped in the mining companies, too miserly to gouge shafts passage forever. He could only hope that wide enough for a man to move comfortably, Bodie and the others had got through, or he’d so long as he could get to the coal-rich walls. be dead as soon as he stuck his head out. Bloody Cowley, sending him through the Cooler air whispered across his face. The tunnels just because he was the smallest. tunnel widened into a gallery. He wormed his Bloody everything. way up to a half-crouch and snaked a cau- The plan was simple enough: four CI5 tious foot into nothing. agents to surround and ambush the bastards, He managed to hang on to the rifle as he Owen covering the southern entrance, tumbled down, clawing frantically with his Murphy making the climb from the main other hand as his head smacked something shaft, and Bodie sneaking overland from the solid. His ears rang with the impact, and he north, while he had got stuck with the western forgot himself and swore, getting a mouthful tunnel. of dirt for his trouble. It let out opposite the primary shaft where He spat twice, wiped his face, felt his Murph would be, in theory a good vantage for fingers come away sticky. He stared at them, the two of them to pick off the terrorists one seeing the dark sheen of blood. Must have cut by one, while Owen and Bodie provided di- his forehead on something. Light—He’d made version. it. If his rifle weren’t so clogged with dirt it The wild thudding of fear assaulted him didn’t jam. If the diversion were good enough. again as he tugged on one of the old coal bins If. If. If. blocking the opening. Footsteps crunched And how was he going to be sure if they had the ground ahead, and he shoved another bin even made it? No, no, they were waiting on out of the way and hefted his rifle. One more, him. Had to be. He visualised each of them as then he could squeeze through— he knew they would be at this moment, Owen “Ray?” A low hiss. “’S that you?” stolid, impassively awaiting the signal, Flint-blue eyes gleamed at him as a pale Murphy cool-eyed and tense, Bodie all charged smudged face appeared in the opening. Bodie. up, impatient to get to it. Probably just about Doyle sighed with relief. “No, it’s Dr. Livingston.
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Course it’s me. Give us a hand, will you?” “You don’t,” Bodie said smoothly, “but as Bodie grunted his assent and the last bin I’m the only one can get you past the CI5 slid past Doyle. He was reaching for Bodie’s cordon, and who knows where they’ve hidden offered hand when the rifle jerked from his the cash, you’ve not a lot of choice really.” grasp. “Whaaa—” “All right,” Anderson replied. He barely had time to duck his head before “What about him?” said one of the other his body followed the rifle into the blare of men, indicating Doyle with a tilt of his head. morning sun. Bodie’s arm went around his hate. neck, then cold metal grazed his temple. “Kill him,” Anderson said, turning as if to “What the hell you playing at, Bodie?” he leave. He stopped, poked his index finger at growled. Bodie. “You do it.” “You keep still, sunshine and maybe you’ll Doyle heard Bodie’s gasp at the same time live to see tomorrow.” as his own. “Hang about—” Doyle struggled blindly to loosen the choke- Anderson just laughed. hold. He sank his teeth into Bodie’s forearm, “You must think I’m a bloody fool, Anderson. arching to drive a kick into Bodie’s kneecap. He’s a hostage, my hostage. And my safe The rifle butt slammed into his kidneys. He passage once you’ve flown the coop. No deal.” doubled over, retching. One of the other men plucked Anderson’s “I did warn you,” Bodie hissed. He slung sleeve, and they moved out of earshot and the rifle over his shoulder, straightening bent their heads together. Doyle’s body, calling out “I’ve got him,” his “What the hell is going on?” Doyle said in voice thunder in Doyle’s ear. an undertone. Doyle looked up to see two assault rifles “Quiet,” Bodie commanded. His grip eased focused on him like a pair of malevolent eyes. a bit, but Doyle didn’t try to escape. Not with Two white-clad men held the guns steady, the Walther at his temple and a terrorist’s AK- while a third man lolled with folded arms off 47 pointed at his chest. to the side. Doyle recognised his face from the He shook his head to clear the last of his briefing. Anderson, Joseph, age 31, with a dizziness. A dark shape at the bottom of the reputation for bloodshed unrivaled in all of hill attracted his eye. He focused blearily on Western Europe. No particular political beliefs. it, eyes widening with shock as he recognised Any cause would do. He enjoyed mayhem for Owen. Or Owen’s body rather. Blood welled its own sake. from a jagged tear in his skull, spreading Doyle’s gaze returned to the men in front of around his head like a crown. him, calculating the chances of distracting He bit down on his lip to keep from gagging them (none by the look of it), while his mind as the warm, sickly smell of blood and crushed relentlessly ticked off the facts. grass wafted his way. No sign of Murph, Cowley’d got wind of Anderson’s return to either. England and set all of CI5 on his trail with Ignoring the pounding fear in his veins, he typical missionary zeal. Stalked him and his squinted to ward off the sun, made out a companions to Wales, cornering them in the church spire jutting sharply into clear blue 100 year-old mine. But now Anderson was sky. On the right he saw the village where the demanding 2 million pounds and a private local police were standing ready to move on plane or he’d trigger a ton of explosives. Cowley’s order. No hope of rescue from that Anderson nodded to the other two, and the quarter. three of them arrayed themselves opposite If it weren’t for that bloody village he Bodie and Doyle. wouldn’t be here. No one cared if the terror- Bodie tossed Doyle’s rifle on the ground in ists blew themselves sky-high, and the CI5 front of them. “Told you you could trust me,” men had been privately labeled ‘expendable’ he said. (of course); but 8000 people lived in that little “Not so fast, man,” Anderson said. “How do town. And if Anderson set off his toy, it’d take we know this isn’t another trick?” the village and a few miles of surrounding
12 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 THOMAS £3£3£3 AMBUSH £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 countryside with them. first place.” That had to be Bodie’s motive for this “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” charade. Yet Doyle wasn’t as certain of Bodie “Yeah,” Bodie said. “Kind of nice bein’ able as he once would have been. Too many close to shut you up for once.” calls lately, not counting this one. And Bodie’s Doyle was too relieved to pay much attention persistent silence did nothing to reassure to the bitterness that lurked beneath the him. casual tone. “You really had me worried for a “You gonna tell me what’s happening, second.” Bodie, or I am supposed to guess.” “Well keep worryin’, cause it’s not over yet.” “It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Bodie said, affable “What’s that supposed to mean?” and patronising. “I would have thought even “In case you didn’t notice, our mates over you, no correction, especially you, could have there aren’t exactly the altruistic type.” worked it out. Told you a long time ago I was Doyle glanced over at the two men still in this business for the money.” huddled in furious argument. “Are you tryin’ “I don’t believe it.” to tell me you’re going kill me after all?” “You’d better believe it, sunshine.” “If I have to.” Doyle’s mind swirled incoherently. Sweat “You son-of-a-bitch—” Doyle barely got the dripped down his neck, and the strap of his word out, he was shaking so hard. “You kill empty holster chafed on his back, a fierce Owen, too?” he said, injecting it with as much itching. And bloody hell, he remembered now venom as he could manage. just why that holster was empty. “Give me “Naughty Doyle,” Bodie said, cuffing him your gun,” Bodie had said, “Tunnel’s so with the pistol. “That was a lousy thing to say, narrow it’ll just be a nuisance when you’re mate.” crawling, believe me, I know. Anyway, you Although he knew it was no use, Doyle don’t need it, do you? Rifle ought to be fought him, kicking and biting. In the end enough.” And Doyle, accepting as always of Bodie held him more securely than ever. Bodie’s greater combat experience, handed “Temper, temper,” he admonished, chuckling over his sidearm, blindly, stupidly trusting. again. His heart wrenched painfully. “Anderson Something snapped in Doyle at the sound another of your old mercenary pals, Bodie?” of that laugh. “Oh, yeah, this is funny, Bodie, “Him—” Bodie reeled off a string of pro- really funny. You make me sick.” Over- fanities. whelmed by impotent rage, he lashed out “Might as well be,” he said. “You’re acting with the only weapon left to him. “I’ll bet just like him.” you’re getting off on the idea.” “You don’t seriously believe I’d have any- He felt Bodie stiffen as his words struck thing to do with filth like that?” home—only for a second—then relax. “You Doyle didn’t, but Bodie’s outraged tone little devil, how did you guess?” was balm to the gnawing of betrayal. “So what The gun slid down his cheek in an obscene are you gettin’ from it, then?” caress. Doyle’s heart thumped against his “Money,” Bodie said. “A quarter of a million ribs, his temples throbbing so hard he thought pounds buys a lot of freedom and a chance to he would burst a blood vessel. “Always knew start living for myself. That’s why I snapped you were crazy,” he sneered. “Seems you’re up the job at CI5. I knew a chance like this perverted as well.” would come along sooner or later.” He Bodie shifted behind him, his hand sliding chuckled. across Doyle’s chest into his armpit. “Not the “You’re havin’ me on, you bastard,” Doyle only one. You could have knocked me back said. any time the last few minutes, but you’re still “Took you long enough,” Bodie said with a standing there.” His breath gusted hot on snort. Doyle’s face. “Too late now, Doyle.” “It’s a hell of a time for sick practical jokes.” “I swear, Bodie, you better hope they make “Serves you right for not trusting me in the you kill me, ’cause if they don’t, you’ll wish
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you had. I’m going to take you apart.” chest of the man nearest them. The other two “Might be fun,” Bodie said, and nuzzled his jumped, returning the fire, and Bodie recoiled ear. instinctively. To his utter and complete shame, Doyle Seizing his opportunity, Doyle plunged his felt a streak of sexual arousal dart through elbows into Bodie’s ribs, threw himself on the his body. “’m gonna throw up,” he mumbled. ground, snatched the untouched rifle and Anderson waved them over. shot the second man before he could aim. A “Move,” Bodie said, and pushed him. bullet whistled above his head, then another, Doyle stumbled, began walking, encour- the second one slicing Anderson’s jaw open, aged by the steady nudging of the handgun and Doyle glanced over his shoulder, saw muzzle on his cheek. He watched in a daze as Bodie squeeze off two more shots that sent one foot obediently shambled after the other Anderson crashing to the ground. through the gravel at the tunnel entrance, He laid his burning forehead in the sweet- acutely conscious of constricting denim over smelling grass, weak from the aftermath of his groin. His stomach muscles quivered with killing and terror. the combined assault of anger and lust. Not for long. There was the sound of cars Adrenalin, it’s only adrenalin, he told himself. screeching on gravel and voices all around. Doesn’t mean a thing. He rolled over, looked into Bodie’s face, starkly They stepped onto grass already trampled white under streaks of dirt, his black hair with Bodie’s footprints. sweat- slicked and matted. Bodie halted about 10 feet away from the Doyle ignored the proffered hand and three men. “Let’s go.” hauled himself to his feet. The whole area was “Get rid of him first,” Anderson ordered, a bustle of men scurrying this way and that, and picked up the carrying case. though no one was paying them any atten- “I told you before. Forget it.” tion as yet. Anderson raised an eyebrow. He knelt and He strolled up to Anderson’s crumpled opened the case and extracted the detonator. form and kicked it. Sightless eyes reflected He fiddled with the switch. “You’d better. Or sunlight, but he was still breathing. Doyle I’m going to take this whole place apart.” touched the rifle to his temple and calmly The breeze lifted Doyle’s curls off his fore- pulled the trigger. head, stinging on the gash he’d got in the “That was cold, Doyle,” Bodie’s voice said tunnel. Out of the corner of his eye he saw behind him. Bodie nod. “Listen to him,” Doyle said. “You got a lot of Seconds crawled by. The analytical part of nerve talkin’ to me about cold, after what you his mind ticked away, computing his chances just did.” for escape, while the professional in him “That was different.” pointed out that one life was not worth the “Oh, yeah? Me, I don’t see a difference, thousand villagers, even if that life was his. except for it was me you were aimin’ at, me, But—7 years together and Bodie acted as if your partner, not some terrorist filth as you he didn’t give a damn. It was too much to so fondly called him.” bear. “Life’s tough all around.” “What are you waiting for, Bodie, my per- “No, wait, there is one other difference. He mission?” was nearly dead anyway.” Bodie clutched him tighter. “Reckon we got “There’s a moral in there somewhere, I’m two choices; I kill you, or we all get scattered positive, but I’ll be damned if I can find it,” to the four winds. You’re dead either way.” Bodie replied. Doyle heard the hammer click back. “You—” “Sorry, Ray—” He broke off as a dirt-smeared Murphy “I don’t believe this is happening,” Doyle came running up. “I got here as fast as I could. said. “Bodie, don’t—” Everything OK?” Three shots cracked out, exploding the “Yeah, we’re alive anyway,” Doyle said,
14 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 THOMAS £3£3£3 AMBUSH £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 never taking his eyes off Bodie. “Cut it a bit “And what, may I ask, is the meaning of fine, didn’t you?” this?” Cowley snapped. “Sorry,” Murphy said. “Got halfway and Doyle wiped his mouth and spat, but he realised I couldn’t fit through that side. Had was silent under his superior’s cool stare. to start all over—” he paused. “What happened How did you explain that the man you trusted to you?” your life to just tried to kill you? Doyle glanced at him, then followed “Nothing, sir,” Bodie said after a minute. Murphy’s shocked gaze to his blood-spattered “I find two of my agents brawling like jeans. “Was standing a bit close when I shot sailors and you tell me it’s nothing?” him,” he said, gesturing at Anderson’s corpse “Just a little disagreement, sir. Doyle here with the rifle. doesn’t approve of my handling of the situa- Murphy knelt, checking the body. “Cowley’s tion.” not going like it when he finds out we could Doyle would have gone for him again, only have had him alive.” Murphy’s restraining arms held him back. “I don’t care what Cowley likes or doesn’t “Yeah, if you weren’t so fucking callous— like.” ” Murphy shrugged and stood up. “If you weren’t so bloody self-righteous—” Bodie was grinning in triumph. “And what “Enough!” Cowley’s bark cut them both off. happened to Mr. By the Book, eh? Doyle?” His They glared at each other, two strangers eyes danced with cynical amusement. who had once known each better than any- “Weren’t you the one who said every life was one else. valuable?” Or pretended we did, Doyle thought bitterly. Doyle turned on him. “Don’t push your Bodie stood meekly at attention. Might as luck, Bodie.” well fall to his knees and kiss his arse, said a “Oh, I forgot,” Bodie said. “You would never nasty voice in Doyle’s mind. He assumed an kill a man in cold blood.” He smiled mali- insolent slouch. ciously. “It was an execution, I understand.” Cowley paced back and forth like a drill- “At least I didn’t get a kick out of it.”Bodie sergeant. “I’ll not have it, you hear me. This scratched his head in mock-bewilderment. “I isn’t the first time I’ve had to speak to you two, don’t know about you, Murph,” he said, “but but it will be the last. Another scene like this it seems to me the guy is just as dead whether one and you’ll be fighting your way through you enjoy it or not.” the relief lines. Do I make myself clear?” “That’s it, Bodie. I’m going to flatten you.” “Yes, sir,” Doyle said as sullenly as he “Be my guest,” Bodie said. “If you think you dared. can take me.” “Perfectly, sir.” Murphy edged away. Perfectly, sir, the voice in Doyle’s mind Doyle bared his teeth and his fist flashed, mocked. catching Bodie squarely in the jaw. Bodie “Dismissed,” Cowley said. staggered back. He recovered swiftly, though, With Cowley’s harsh gaze upon him, Doyle and grabbed Doyle. had to swallow his anger as best he could, They hit the ground, wrestling for control and they left. as so often in practice, now, at least for Doyle, Home, he stripped off the sweat-soaked T- in dead earnest. A selective kick had Bodie shirt and jeans, and dived into the shower, contorted with agony, and Doyle straddled but he couldn’t scrub away the outrage and him, about to add a few punches when a horror that clung to him like dirt. familiar shout stopped him. He snapped up the soap and scoured “Doyle! Bodie! What the hell are you two himself down with enough vigour to turn his doing?” skin red. He shouldn’t be surprised. What did Doyle looked up and saw Cowley bearing he expect from the likes of Bodie, anyway? on them. Reluctantly he released Bodie and But this was the last straw. He was going to got up. ask for reassignment. He’d had it with years
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of being patronised and bullied. But first he Doyle rose and flicked the intercom. “Get was going to make Bodie pay, if it was the last lost.” thing he did. “Come on, let me in, will you?” Be fair, he reproached himself. You might The knocking became a relentless have done the same, if the positions were pounding. Doyle shut off the intercom and reversed. He laid his cheek against the tile stared at the door release for what seemed an and the water cascaded unnoticed over his eternity, although it was only a few seconds head. till he pressed the button. Bodie slid the OK, but why did Bodie have to be so keen? inner door open and waltzed on in, blithely as Once upon a time he’d aspired to Bodie’s you please, as if nothing had changed. friendship; till he discovered that behind “Reckoned you’d be missin’ this,” he said, Bodie’s smooth faáade stood another faáade, and laid Doyle’s Walther on the coffee table. and behind that, another, granite barriers Doyle stared at the weapon. erected around his heart. If the man had a “Well, aren’t you even goin’ to thank me for heart. Be news to Doyle. He’d given up trying returnin’ it?” to scale those walls long ago, contenting “Drop dead, Bodie.” himself with hurling verbal arrows over the “What’s the matter with you for Christ’s top, and the satisfaction he got when the sake?” occasional shaft hit home. At those times he “Oh, listen to him, `what’s the matter with was afforded a glimpse of what Bodie kept you?’ What do you think?” hidden, a yearning menace that did not Bodie shrugged. belong to civilisation, and he decided it was Doyle’s wire-thin control snapped. “You just as well Bodie had locked it away. bastard, you were ready to kill me, and you But he thought loyalty counted for some- would have, wouldn’t you, if it had been thing. Obviously he was wrong. Bodie had expedient. Just a job after all, isn’t it?” taken advantage of his powerless position to “I didn’t have any choice. If you weren’t so humiliate him. busy sneering at my morals, you might have The scene replayed itself in his thoughts, noticed.” making him cringe when the images brought “Oh, great, it’s my fault now. I suppose if the same dart of helpless excitement he’d felt you had shot me, that would have been my at the touch of Bodie’s gun on his face. He fault, too. Next thing you know, you’ll be glanced down, found himself semi-erect. blamin’ me for the invention of gunpowder.” Bodie’s laugh echoed in his mind. He Bodie shifted his weight from one foot to slammed his fist into the tiles, barely aware of another, looked at the ceiling and then back the tears of rage and frustration burning his to Doyle. “OK. I’m sorry. Is that what you want eyes. Just once, just once, he’d like to see that to hear?” insufferable assurance crumble. He’d sell his “Like hell you’re sorry.” soul for the chance to reduce Bodie to the Bodie’s gaze faltered, then fell. trembling bundle of misery and lust he had Sensing weakness, Doyle homed in. “Your become already. perverted little game, that my fault as well?” He wrenched the shower controls to cold The gates clanged shut again. “Look, I said and stood there until he felt a measure of I was sorry, didn’t I? But that’s not good calm returning, then shut the water off and enough for you, is it? Got to wring it for went in search of fresh clothes. But he couldn’t everything it’s worth, don’t you?” stop thinking about it. Doyle scowled blackly. “Do yourself a favour Forty-five minutes later when the doorbell and get out of here while you’re still in one went, he had yet to devise a suitable revenge. piece.” He sat there, willing Bodie to go away. “I love it when you get angry,” Bodie drawled, Bodie, however, was not taking the hint. unimpressed, “Your face scrunches up and Already an irate knocking started in. “Come your eyes flash and you look like you’re about on, Doyle, I know you’re in there. Open up.” to spit blood.”
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Hopeless, it’s hopeless, Doyle thought. A be shown up for the coward he was, and if he wave of weariness washed over him as he accepted, then he’d have to admit to a crack stared up at the other man. in his armour. Bodie stared back, expressionless, remote Bodie stood with his hands shoved in his as a mountain lake in winter. pockets, apparently absorbed in studying the “All right, Bodie, you win,” Doyle said. wall in front of him, the image of indifference. “What do you want? You want to forget the Doyle’s eyes narrowed to predatory slits. He whole thing, is that it?” set the gun down. Give Bodie a dose of his “Forget what?” Bodie said blandly. own medicine. That’d teach him. Yeah, that was just the problem, Doyle Quickly, before he could lose his nerve, he thought resentfully. Bodie didn’t care one spoke. “You know what I want to do?” he said, way or the other. He was a fool for wanting making his voice as sultry as he could manage. him to. Bodie gave him a peculiar sidelong glance, He got up and went to the window and lashes drooping to veil his eyes, then turned stared out bleakly across the rooftops. Pre- his back. “No, what?” he asked casually. occupied, he didn’t realise Bodie had come up In what he hoped was a credible imitation behind him until he felt a hand on his shoulder. of Bodie’s own cool recklessness, Doyle “All right. All right. I didn’t mean it.” sauntered over and ran light fingertips down The contrite tone might have fooled a his spine. “This,” he said, and his fingers stranger, but it didn’t fool Doyle. He dodged strayed across Bodie’s hips and probed his under Bodie’s arm. “Yeah, right.” ribs. “Come on, it was a joke.” Bodie went rigid. “Just what the hell do you “I’m not laughing.” think you’re doing?” he said, his voice so low Bodie’s lashes lifted, blue eyes sparkling Doyle barely heard. with mischief. “That’s the trouble with you, Doyle leaned around his waist and grinned Doyle, no sense of humour.” at him. “Coming on to you, mate, what else? Doyle grabbed his gun from the table and You were the one what said it might be fun.” checked it over. Bodie did whatever he wanted “Well, you can stop right now.” and then tried to pass it off as a joke. Yeah, “Oh, knock it off. Don’t play the shrinking he’d be laughing out of the other side of his violet with me. You know the score.” mouth if anyone ever called his bluff… “The score?” Bodie repeated ominously. He heard a loud, exasperated sigh. “What “I’ve heard all about the games mercenaries the hell do you want from me anyway?” play.” Doyle glanced up at him in disgust. “Have you?” Bodie swung around in Doyle’s “All right, I didn’t mean it,” Bodie said. embrace and bent his forehead to Doyle’s. “Oh, you didn’t mean it. That makes it all “And how, if you don’t mind, did you come by OK. Or,” he mimicked Bodie’s bland tones, this information?” he murmured. “`Nothing personal, Doyle, you understand, “Not exactly a state secret, is it?” it’s just the way I get my thrills.’” “I see.” His arms tightened around Doyle’s Bodie looked at the ground again. “Never waist. said it wasn’t personal, did I? You know it’s Encouraged, Doyle kissed him. He lapped always been you an’ me.” His lashes lifted, delicately at the wilful mouth until Bodie blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “All the responded, mouth opening and taking him way.” in, cold and dark and mysterious. And, gods, Now there was a thought, noted the nasty he tasted sweeter than any fantasy Doyle voice in the back of Doyle’s mind. He yanked could have conjured. the ammunition clip free and carefully con- He felt a surge of his former affection, long sidered the idea, ignoring the tremors rifling buried under the avalanche of hostility. And his body. when Bodie kissed him back, hope kindled as The more he thought about it, the better he well, hope of salvaging something from all liked it. He couldn’t lose. If Bodie refused, he’d this.
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But Bodie broke away. “You got it all “You think I enjoyed it?” wrong, sunshine,” he said, his voice caress- “On the nose, sunshine.” ingly soft, almost a whisper, “I don’t play Bodie flinched as though he’d been struck. those kinds of games.” And he bowed his head. “Oh, come on,” Doyle said, “they must have Ah, got you now, Doyle thought. He tried it on. A beautiful guy like you?” pounced. “I’m right, aren’t I?” There was a longish pause, then, “Oh, Although Bodie’s guilty silence was all the yeah, someone tried.” answer he needed, Doyle gave in to the “I knew it,” Doyle said triumphantly, just terrible urge to get closer, to twist the blade before Bodie’s fist drove into his belly. He fell deep into the vulnerable flesh of the heart. and the wall slammed into his head. “Get off on danger, do you, Bodie? You liked Doyle struggled to stop the dizzy swirl of havin’ me in your power, didn’t you? Make colours and shapes all around him, managed Ray squirm, that’s exciting, scare him a bit, to focus his eyes on the tall figure looming great fun. Yeah, I’ll bet you’ve wanted to fuck over him. me for a long time now.” Bodie bared his teeth. “I blew his brains Bodie looked up at that, and inspected him out.” with a chill impertinent stare that raked Doyle’s anger, and his even older hurt Doyle from head to toe, and found him blossomed into a bright flower of fury. “OK,” wanting. he said. He rose, moving slowly, and picked “Forget it,” he said and turned his back. up his gun from the table. He rotated it so the “That’s all right then, I’ll just forget it. You butt pointed at Bodie and said, “Here you go.” tell me how. How can I forget? How can I ever Bodie gaped at him as if he’d sprouted a forget that what you did to me with this,” he second head. dropped the gun as if it burned his hand, “got “Come on, take it,” Doyle said. “Don’t you me goin’?” want to blow my brains out? Or would you “You’re sick.” rather fuck me? Whichever. I’ll make it easy “That’s rich, coming from you.” for you.” Bodie wheeled, his eyes a vicious glint in “Quit playin’ around, Doyle,” Bodie said, the dim room. his tone that of a man humouring a dangerous Doyle took a step back. lunatic. “Very wise,” Bodie remarked. “I’m not playing, Bodie.” He flipped the gun “Now he’s threatening me, is he?” over. “Or shall I blow your brains out? I like “You’re going to push me too far, Doyle.” that idea rather better. I owe you one.” “Oh, and then what?” He watched in dull satisfaction as the “I’ll hit you.” colour leached from Bodie’s face, leaving it Doyle laughed. “Go on, then. You’ve been bone-white. So that was the only measure of wantin’ to haul off and belt me for years; his importance to Bodie: knowing he could here’s your chance.” He thrust his chin for- hurt him like no one else could. “What’s the ward. matter, Bodie? Not scared, are you?” When the blow came, Doyle was ready. He “Fuck you,” Bodie growled, but he never swerved, still laughing. He danced around moved. Bodie, confident that as long as stayed out of “’S’what I said, isn’t it?” reach of those powerful arms, he was safe. He “Have you gone crazy or what?” was lighter, faster, and more agile. Bodie “Yeah, what,” Doyle said. “It’s always the could never win. same with you, isn’t it? Nothing is ever your He landed a few solid punches, easily fault. You can get your little thrills from tryin’ evading the other man, then snatched his to terrorise me,” advancing on him, “and gun from the floor, and got him in a don’t give me any crap about it being part of stranglehold. He jabbed the muzzle under the job, ’cause that’s not all it was and you Bodie’s jaw and flicked off the safety. know it. But if I do it, I’m crazy, is that it?” “Gun’s not loaded,” Bodie said.
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“You don’t know that. You saw me take the enough for Doyle’s searching fingers to slide clip out, but there’s always one bullet left in all the way down and enclose the warm, hard the chamber.” He spoke quietly. “An’ I saved core of flesh. His other hand slid open-palmed it for you.” over Bodie’s buttocks. “Yeah, it’s sick all Bodie was utterly motionless in his arms, right,” he murmured, “but you like it, don’t but Doyle could feel the arteries pulsing in his you?” He squeezed gently to demonstrate. neck. “The shoe’s on the other foot now, Bodie moaned, a soft desolate noise from Bodie, and how does it fit?” deep in his belly, and his cock throbbed and “All right,” Bodie said. “You’ve got your twitched in Doyle’s hand. pound of flesh. Happy now?” Doyle wriggled closer to him, worked his Doyle laughed again, a short nervous hand around to get a better grip. Spiraling chuckle. Sweat soaked his chest, whether his around the tip, his thumb discovered the or Bodie’s he couldn’t tell, dripped off his moisture there, and he spread it down satin forehead onto his cheeks. He spread his legs skin, devouring the tormented expression on wider to steady himself, and realised the fire Bodie’s face. “Always wondered what it would in his body was more than anger. His stom- take to get through to you,” he whispered. ach muscles fluttered with the first shivers of “Happen I’ve found out.” arousal, and he pulled on his trouser legs to “Don’t,” Bodie said. “Stop it,” but he pressed loosen them. himself harder against Doyle. The second of inattention was all it took. Doyle removed his hand to fumble with his Bodie threw off his arms and spun, connecting own belt. “I know what you want,” he said, fist to jaw. The gun went flying as Doyle’s “and I’m going to give it to you.” world exploded into bright specks of light. “No!” Bodie jerked away, rolled over and Oblivious to injury, he sprang dizzily to his stood, fastening his trousers with a short, feet, lunging for him, but he’d miscalculated frenzied snap. “Damn you, Doyle,” he said, and Bodie grabbed him. voice deep and chilling, lips barely moving as “Is this the kind of game you want?” Bodie he spoke. “God damn your perverted soul to shouted. “You like being hurt, is that it?” He hell.” shook Doyle so his teeth rattled like the bars Doyle leapt up. “Oh, terrific! And who of a cage. “This is funny, Doyle, isn’t it, a laugh started all this anyway, Bodie, you did, out a minute,” and he backhanded Doyle across there on that field, and don’t you forget it, the face with a crack. “Feels good, doesn’t it,” because I’m not going to.” another slap, “Right?” He hunted around for his gun, spotted it Doyle tripped over the edge of the rug and quickly and picked it up. He released the clutched at Bodie’s jacket as he fell backwards, safety. taking Bodie along. Bodie landed on top of “I’m leaving,” Bodie said, and backed away, him with a grunt. almost tripping over a footstool in his haste to Through a fog of pain, he looked up at get to the door. Bodie, at the brilliant blue blaze of eyes only Doyle vaulted the couch and waylaid him. partially hidden by soot black lashes, and “No way,” he said. He leveled the weapon on knew a secret thrill of fear. He felt both excited Bodie’s forehead. “You’re not going anywhere.” and scared at the same time because now he His breath was coming in great gulps and was certain. It was going to happen. his whole body trembled as adrenalin spurted He freed his hands from under the trap of into his blood. He grabbed the wrist of his gun Bodie’s ribcage and undid the belt and zip of hand with his other hand, as much to steady Bodie’s trousers. He slipped his fingers under it as to stop himself firing. the waistband, waiting. He could kill Bodie easily, right now, the After a moment, Bodie closed his eyes. lightest touch of his finger and his brains The only sound in the room was their would splatter the carpet. breathing. His hands had gone clammy with perspi- Then Bodie lifted his hips slightly, far ration, and fear—what kind of sickness was
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it to get a thrill from the prospect of killing a kiss, but it ripped pleasure through Doyle man—He fell to his knees—Oh Jesus, he was nonetheless, like a sniper’s bullet furrowing a going to come right there all over his jeans. tree. Beneath anger, he tasted passion, all the Bodie was on him in a second. He flicked crazed, delirious passion of love disowned. open the snap of Doyle’s jeans, yanked on the An insolent hand shoved his T-shirt up zip. One touch of cold fingers on hot flesh, no over his ribs, arrogantly fondling his chest, more, and Doyle was coming in a sweet gush thumbing his nipples, burned a path to his of fire, the soft ragged moans of a wounded belly, coming at last to rest on his crotch. animal wrung from him by each spurt. Doyle groaned. Bodie’s fingers dug deep The racking spasms passed, and he came into his armpit, and the smell of his own to in a daze. Steel fingers gripped his chin, sweat was strong in his nostrils, coupled to a forcing him to look up. faint odor of Bodie’s, lighter, rising like the “So,” Bodie murmured, “We’re not so very top-note of some heady, exotic perfume. And different after all.” with the heavy, powerful body grinding him Doyle held his gaze rock-steady. “I reckon into the wall as Bodie’s other hand massaged not,” he said after a minute. the front of his jeans, he was instantly, “Well,” Bodie said, rising smoothly, “Now painfully hard again. that’s settled—” Bodie tore his mouth away, breath hot and “Settled? Not bloody likely,” Doyle cut in. sweet on Doyle’s cheek. “All right, you crazy He dragged himself to his feet. Bodie wasn’t bastard, you win. I’ll fuck you. I’ll fuck your going to get off the hook that easily. “It’s your twisted little brains out.” His lip curled, ex- turn.” posing one white tooth. “But you won’t like it.” “What?” And he tightened his grip until Doyle gasped Doyle rolled his eyes. “C’mon, get to it, in pain. He stomped on Bodie’s foot, and Bodie, fuck me. ’S what you want, isn’t it?” ducked out from under him. “Yeah, maybe with a pointed glance at the tell- tale swelling not, but you’ll like it, won’t you, Bodie? Won’t in Bodie’s crotch. you?” Bodie’s lips twitched into a shadowy smirk He couldn’t strip his clothes off fast enough, and he gave a tiny shake of his head. “No, gripped by dread lest Bodie should somehow thanks, mate. Not interested.” summon the willpower to walk out and rob “Too bad.” Doyle scrabbled around for his him of his victory. gun, but Bodie saw it first and kicked it Naked, he escaped to the bedroom, hear- across the room. ing Bodie enter behind him. He whirled, “All right, Doyle, this has gone far enough.” tensed as for an attack. Doyle glared at him in mute hatred. He Bodie paused to slip off his trousers, elegant mustered every drop of venom and flung it at as a knife. him in one vicious word. “Coward.” Doyle sucked in his breath. At this angle Bodie stood transfixed, white-eyed, nostrils the swaying cock appeared huge. But the flared, breath coming in short, shallow pants. savage gleam in Bodie’s eyes told him it was “Take that back.” far too late to back out. Doyle smiled mirthlessly. “Make me.” He studied the bed, mind racing. He didn’t Bodie seized his shoulders, pinioning him want to get seriously injured, no matter what to the wall. A fleck of saliva appeared at the Bodie thought. Vaguely, he remembered corner of his mouth to inflame Doyle further. reading somewhere that the safest position “C’mon Bodie. I haven’t got all day. Oh wait, would be on his stomach. I forgot, you need the gun, right?” He flung himself down, pressed his face He braced himself for another blow, but it into the pillow, shivering uncontrollably. Fear never came. Instead Bodie’s eyes widened in wound its clammy hand around his gut when a kind of despair and his mouth came down Bodie touched him, deft, curious fingers on Doyle’s. spreading his buttocks, transmitting an erotic Cruel and unloving, it was a mockery of a thrill to every nerve, quickening as he felt
20 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 THOMAS £3£3£3 AMBUSH £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 something cold and slick nudging inside. He his hips back to meet Bodie’s. “Come on, gasped, and smiled a secret smile to himself. admit it. You love fucking me, don’t you? Bodie was wrong. He was going to like it. Feels good, better ’n anything you’ve ever Doyle turned his head to the side, but he done. Right?” couldn’t see much more than the edge of the Bodie made a low anguished noise. “Jesus, bed and the wall beyond. “What’re you doin’ Ray, stop it, for godsakes—” now, Bodie? Stop mucking about.” But Doyle wasn’t about to let go his hard- Bodie’s chest settled warm and heavy on earned acknowledgment. “Doesn’t it, c’mon, his back, his cheek laid smooth and cool on tell me…” Doyle’s face. His whisper was a travesty of “I don’t believe this is happening,” Bodie tenderness. “You’re so tight, sweetheart, I whimpered, and Doyle felt him pull back, felt had to wet us down, or I won’t be able to get his muscles taut and quivering, poised for the it in.” final stroke. Doyle’s hips were lifted. “Now,” Bodie said, “Tell me, Bodie.” and thrust hard. Choking, a muffled sob in his voice, Bodie Doyle bit the pillow. It hurt bad, like hell, told him. “I hate you.” worse than being kicked in the balls, like no He gave a convulsive shudder and was kind of pain he’d ever felt, but he was past still. caring whether it hurt or not. His blood sang The warmth and wetness washing from with triumph that he had brought the walls Bodie’s body into his in quick fitful throbs tumbling down for once and for all. was such sweet relief that Doyle came, too: “What’sa matter with you, sunshine,” he fiery streaks of pleasure lifting him up and taunted, “think I’m a woman? Come on, you out of himself, purging him of rage and can do it harder, a big, strong fella like you.” sorrow and triumph, and finally, of con- He heard a soft snarl in his ear, “Shut up, sciousness. you—” and the bed shuddered as Bodie slammed into him. Doyle opened his eyes to dusk. Must have Tearing a cry from his throat in spite of drifted off, he thought lazily, was gettin’ on for himself as his guts dissolved in fire. 7 by the look of it. He rolled over—damn, his Christ it hurt. head hurt—encountering the solid mass of That thought stood alone in his mind, Bodie, and smiled in gloating reminiscence. surrounded by agony. He was almost sorry, Until horror swept him away like a blast but then Bodie leaned close and whispered in from a winter wind. What had got into him, his ear. “Had enough, Doyle? I can stop was he as insane as Bodie? He glanced down anytime you say the word.” his body, surprisingly unbruised except for a Fighting pain for breath, Doyle shook his small swelling across his diaphragm, twisted head. “No—way—mate,” adding, “An’ you to look over his shoulder as best he could, couldn’t stop if you wanted to.” glimpsed livid streaks where Bodie’s fingers The excruciating motions halted. “Bet?” had gripped him. Bodie said. His gaze switched to Bodie, sleeping as “Yeah.” Gathering all his pent-up rage into peacefully as if they had not shredded any a hard ball of hope of sweetness between them. Self-loathing courage, Doyle thrust upward. and shame churned in his stomach, but And knew the deepest satisfaction of his impossibly, desire stirred, too, and he stared entire life when Bodie thrust back with a cry bleakly into a future where anger and passion of pure helpless lust. were forever bound. Pain and pleasure tangled together in the He traced an idle finger down the gentle darkness of his heart as the sweet friction of curve of cheek, bent to kiss a faint purpling the sheets brought him closer and closer, but above one eye with lips that did not quite he needed more. “Tell me now you don’t want tremble. And the old hurtful longing he’d it,” he said, writhing against the bed, pressing thought conquered in the afternoon crept up
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to haunt his heart. you?” Bodie sighed. The black lashes fluttered For one last sober second, Doyle resisted like moth wings on the pallor of his cheeks, the glitter of his eyes, then Bodie’s mouth lifted to reveal death-bright eyes. A smile crushed into his and he tasted blood on his spread drowsily across his face when he saw lip. Doyle watching him. “C’mere,” he whispered Reason fled his mind. He didn’t answer and drew Doyle’s face to his own. Bodie’s question. He didn’t have to. Doyle fought him, vicious and silent, but “It’s your turn,” he said through his teeth. there was no room to maneuvre, so in the end “I’m ready,” came Bodie’s gibing voice. he was pinned by Bodie’s heavier body. “Any time you think you can take me.” “You’re mine,” Bodie murmured. “Mine,” Doyle relaxed, his fears for the future he repeated, as if it were a magic word, and receding. He and Bodie would handle it. After his teeth nuzzled Doyle’s shoulder. “Aren’t all, they had each other.
22 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 NOVEMBER SEBASTIAN
THE DAY WAS DREARY, a dark grey lowering, lamp both shaded in deep pink velvet and but the room assigned to them in the small heavily fringed, casting cosy shadows across hotel was unexpectedly pleasant. Miss the room. Through the wide bay window Parrish the proprietor opened the door and could be seen the rapidly-fading November a flood of rosy light permeated the interior dusk. It made Bodie sense fireworks, and as she switched on a lamp here and there. Christmas coming, and the thrill of being “I think you’ll be all right here, gentle- locked in and safe with siege provisions men. Breakfast is from eight till ten, or you against the encroaching dark winter. In the can leave the card out for our Continental. bathroom to one side Ray Doyle hummed If there’s anything you want in the mean- noisily as he did whatever he was doing in time, just ring down for it to Reception.” there, accompanied by splashings. Although it was many years since she had All in all, this suddenly didn’t seem such left MI-something and she was now a typi- a bad place to be. cal old-lady old lady with steel grey hair and However, there was work to be done; a Marks and Sparks twinset, something Bodie heaved a resolute sigh and got down about the gimlet eyes behind cold thick to it, sleeves rolled up and mouth set in a granny glasses gave Doyle a definite chill. determined line. It was a matter of minutes When she had shut the door leaving them before the two men, working quickly and alone, Doyle gave a chuckle, throwing one together, had the room set up for a week- case down onto the floor and setting the end of surveillance over a nearby embassy: larger one down more carefully, continuing a pad for notes and a pair of high res. bin- the irreverent conversation they had begun oculars on a tripod by the net-curtained with their eyes behind her back: window, positioned out of the sightline of “Nah, you’re wrong, mate. Cowley never anyone passing below. ’ad a thing going for that one. She makes “Reckon this’ll take long?” Bodie asked, Annie Whatsername look softer than a and Doyle’s hand made a doubtful ‘so-so’ marshmallow.” Wandering over to the dress- waggle. ing table he yawned widely, running a hand “Depends where he’s got to, dunnit?” He through his hair and peering into the mir- leaned nearer Bodie confidingly. “Person- ror as he did so. ally, I reckon the old man’s got it wrong this “You reckon? Myself,” Bodie said aus- time. Soo’s very politically sensitive, very terely, “I think the reverse. A HevviFraym dodgy right now. He’s never gonna be stu- corset and cast-iron suspenders wouldn’t pid enough to come back here, now is he?” put Cowley off.” Bodie shrugged, for the very good reason “Nah, he’d rise excitedly to the challenge,” that he didn’t really care. Hard to work up said Doyle, and gave that surprisingly lewd much interest and involvement in a rou- chuckle, rubbing his hands together. Bodie tine obs. job like this; however, he knew why turned the key in the lock and turned to they had been given it and was in some survey the room, eyes swiftly delineating its sense grateful. He leaned back on one deep characteristics: two pink beds, wall-to-wall rose counterpane and surveyed Doyle idly. white carpet, some tasteful mahogany fur- His partner was wearing grey slacks and a niture, a bedside light and a tall standard soft sage v-necked sweater. He was leaning
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 23 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 over affixing the plug of his portable cas- was quiet; the urge pressed in on him to sette recorder to a socket in the wall and find something to say. pressing the play button. The strains of “You want to go out tonight?” he asked. Vivaldi’s ‘Autumn’ filtered into the room. Doyle leaned against him easily, one Doyle’s expression as he turned was one of trainer-shod foot turned sideways, his thin transfixed bliss. brown fingers twining in a knot of curtain “You’re so sensitive and artistic, Ray,” rope over and over. Bodie said in his best thick yob’s voice. “We’ll ’ave to if we wanna eat.” Doyle growled and ruffled the cap of dark Doyle was thinner than before the shoot- hair as he passed. “Watch it. And that’s my ing, always-narrow hips sharp inside taut bed you’re messing up,” he added, opening skin, but any aura of fragility this might the wardrobe door. have lent him was, however, quite false: he “Who says?” Bodie squinted over at the had trained extensively in the weeks of his other, identical one. recovery, pushing himself to the limit over “I do. Can’t sleep next to the window,” and over again. How impossible for Bodie, Doyle explained seriously. “Makes me feel Bodie who had found him lying there with insecure.” his blood pumping out too fast, his glazed Bodie snorted. “You, insecure? Come off eyes staring fixedly at the carpet, his breath- it.” Nevertheless he swung both legs off the ing a laboured struggle to catch, all images bed and got up, glancing out of the win- stained indelibly and horrifically on Bodie’s dow. The door to the Embassy remained memory: how impossible, after that, to have shut, the street empty. Not that Amun Soo, him back and not feel fiercely, dangerously who had been spotted at Tel Aviv three protective towards him. Dangerous in many hours ago, could even be in the country as ways, not least that it both enraged Doyle yet. Short notice, this. Handy for Cowley, and upturned his fragile new self-respect, though. He’d probably been sweating on regained at cost. where to place his newly-fit and ultra-sen- “Unless you fancy the Battleaxe sitive pairing. Spinster’s institution greens?” Staying there, Bodie reached for his gun Doyle was looking at him, quizzical. and pressed back the barrel, squinting Bodie’s eyes were shaded by a dark-lashed down it. He reached for a cloth from his droop; his mouth set in a little pensive pout Gladstone bag, soaked it in gun oil, and which made him look melancholy. Doyle absently began to polish the mechanism, wanted him cheerful: he nudged Bodie’s looking out all the while without seeing ticklish ribs and repeated his prediction on anything. Not hearing Doyle come up, he the menu. He was rewarded by the return felt first the light insubstantial caress as of Bodie’s attention; the bigger man grinned two hands from behind briefly covered his down at Doyle with a wry, funny quirk of eyes and the warm breath of a voice in his the lips as he patted Doyle’s hip and pushed ear: “Don’t you ever think of anything else?” him away. “Eh,” Bodie said. Doyle, now beside him, “We’ll do better than that for you, sun- grinned at him, cocking an eye out of the shine. Two Big Macs and a large fries more window. There, across the street was a girl, up your street?” a typist perhaps, snatching a minute’s break Oh, that smile. Bodie’s peculiar gentle- between documents to throw her sandwich ness with him frightened Doyle, made him crusts to the pigeons; she had long dark back off just a little bit: the darkest skel- hair, a pink blouse, and a narrow waist. eton in his cupboard opened the door and They watched her for a moment in silent, looked out, every time. Nor did it help to shared appreciation. After a while Bodie put know that Bodie tried not to do it. That made the forgotten gun down; his arm slipped the skeleton loom darker, grin wider. around Doyle, his fingers squeezing tight “Oi.” Bodie snapped two fingers in front on the narrow shoulder-bone. The moment of his eyes. “Where have you gone?”
24 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 There was warm, open friendship in most notable success being Marge Harper. Bodie’s look: he was perhaps the only per- I could do with a bit of it coming my way son who, knowing him thoroughly, had ever sometimes, Bodie thought with resignation: liked Doyle whole-heartedly, really liked him; then, hard on the heels of that thought came no rose-coloured glasses could survive five another: at least, whatever I get, good or years of often gritty partnership. A partner- bad, it’s the real thing. ship that had hung for a while on a thin line Doyle collected a key to the door—”in case between death and life, or indeed anything we get held up”—it was locked, Miss Parrish less than a return to perfect fitness. Doyle informed them, promptly at ten: and then had had to do a lot of thinking in the hospi- the two agents set off into the grimy tal and it had troubled him, to think that if backstreets. Little Asian kids out late played they could no longer work together their ball in the gutters, the girls in frail pretty friendship might simply fade away in the way dresses trailing in the grime, the boys forc- of things, a card at Christmas maybe, a drink ing unpainted swings upwards to dizzying together once a year. There were so many heights over cracked concrete. Tiny grey things; you never gave them a thought from gardenless houses backed onto the yards day to day, nor took them but for granted; of more of the same. They passed several and then death brushed you close and left takeaways of the fish-and-chip, Indian or you seeing things in a clearer perspective, Chinese variety, each emitting a tempting, your eyes sharpened by the foreclosure that warm miasma, but kept walking. everything would come to an end. Bodie noticed Doyle’s breathing, more Doyle remembered something else, and hurried than his own, and said unthink- smiled. ingly, “This too far for you?” Feeling himself left out of something pri- Doyle whipped round and glared at him vate, Bodie turned away. “Let’s go, shall we? sinking Bodie’s heart. “Don’t fuss, for Unless you’re planning on changing.” chrissake.” he snapped. “Just give it a rest, Doyle looked down at himself in surprise. Bodie, will you?” “Don’t need to change, do I?” Stung at the unexpected viciousness, “Nah,” Bodie assured him, softening; Bodie retorted: “Sometimes you can be a “You’re perfect as you are.” He watched in right little nest of poison, can’t you? Just a faint disbelief as Doyle reached into his civil question.” overnight case and extracted a pair of sun- Doyle said nothing for a moment. Then: glasses, hooking them unhurriedly over his “Sorry.” nose. “Ray. It’s November.” “All right,” Bodie said coolly. But the “Might snow.” moment had turned a cold edge to the “And it’s dark.” evening. They kept on walking. Determined Doyle sucked in his cheeks and shook not to risk another rebuff, Bodie offered no his head with worried wisdom. “Ah, they can advice as to direction and it was a relief be very hazardous, those streetlights.” when they came to a grim-looking pub Bodie gave in. “Well, if you want to look which promised ‘Bar Snacks’. like Medallion Man himself, there’s noth- “Not exactly the Hilton, but it’ll do.” ing I can do about it.” And ducked as a pil- “’S all right. I’m more at home in a joint low sailed his way. where you can spit on the floor.” Doyle’s He followed his partner flying down the rueful grimace made Bodie smile, but dis- stairs, taking them himself at a more se- tantly: he was still feeling the backlash of date pace. Apparently Miss Parrish had Doyle’s sudden spite. taken note of the descent, because she was Inside they ordered pie and chips and waiting for them in the hall. settled to wait with a pint of beer. Round “Going out, I see?” brown tables with cork beer mats and hard Doyle favoured her with his nicest charm; wooden benches set the scene; a fruit ma- he had used it to good effect in the past, his chine spun and jangled incessantly manned
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 25 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 by a succession of scruffy youths, and two women did, sensing something fey and com- elderly men threw darts at a board defaced plex about him which was probably false, with holes. The sweetish malty smell of stale but he generally capitalised on it quite hap- beer permeated, and the air was blue with pily, opening wide green eyes and flirting. smoke. Nor did they neglect Bodie who was perfect Altogether it was not particularly pleas- tonight; if he had a darkly brutal air be- ant. hind the blue-eyed charm they loved it, see- Doyle was acutely conscious that he did ing a sensual strength in the broad shoul- not want to be here: he didn’t like the sur- ders, a spice of danger behind the humour roundings, he was quite sure he wasn’t go- and the promise. ing to like the food, and most of all he didn’t Bodie was in rare sacrificial mood: he was like the distance between Bodie and him- doing his best to make the evening work self. Lately, he knew, he had been relying because he felt a little uncomplicated sex more and more on the abstruse comfort of might be just what Doyle needed: had he Bodie’s company: Bodie understood with- but known it, Doyle would not have agreed out any need of words what it was like to with him, having found that sex was sel- die and against all the odds be brought dom uncomplicated, and an evening’s back. It was expected by outsiders that you sweaty romp with Rosa and Sal was not would seize this extra gift of life gratefully what he wanted, on any count at all. But and get on with living it with three times since it seemed to be what Bodie wanted, the zest. Somehow it didn’t seem to be as he let himself slide along with it; it was less easy as that. trouble than to resist and they were nice The last thing Doyle wanted was to be girls, sweet really. estranged from Bodie. “Doesn’t anyone ever feed you boys?” He leaned nearer, meaning to try to re- Sally was asking, watching in fascination store things, but his companion had his Doyle shovel in great and speedy forkfuls mind on something quite different. Catch- of shepherd’s pie. Doyle widened his eyes ing Doyle’s eye, “In with a chance?” he nod- at her, his mouth full, his eyebrows finely ded towards two buxom lasses at the bar. arched. Doyle inwardly winced. Women since Ann “’E needs fattenin’ up a bit.” Bodie said had been fleeting, and now he wasn’t even at once. “Here, sunshine, have some of sure it was worth the effort. He had put mine.” He tipped Doyle’s head back with an everything into loving Ann and it still hadn’t easy hand in his curls and popped a chip been enough: all that, and it had come nev- in his mouth. Doyle swallowed it happily. ertheless to cold pale tears in the street— They were all getting a little drunk. “And you’re one thing, Ray, and I’m another—he no, we’re not married, if that’s what you’re didn’t think he had any more reserves to asking.” give. She flapped a limp wrist at him, deliber- And even if there was ever to be a ately misunderstanding. “Oh, I never longstanding love in his life, he was damn thought you were, duckies.” This amused sure he wasn’t going to come across her in both girls, without sending either Bodie or the Cock and Bull, somewhere in this Doyle into raptures. Smiling vaguely down unsavoury north-west nook of London. at his plate Bodie thought, you don’t know All the same, he mustered a smile when how right you are, for being partners in CI5 Bodie ushered the two ladies to their table; was very much like a marriage. It wasn’t they were cheerful-looking creatures who even uncommon to fall a little in love with would uplift anyone’s spirits for a while. your partner; most successful pairings were Rosa was brunette, with pretty dark eyes; linked by some small passion which sparked Sal had long red hair which, Siren-like, was in odd manifestations: an overly-biting attracting the attention of every passing tongue when the partner was missing, or male. Both fell for Doyle instantly as many in danger; a fury vented on them when they
26 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 returned safe; all the way to a withdrawn had seen it many, many times. He could grief should they die. not repress a smile, watching as Rosa and If they died… Sally melted. Bodie ached, his guts clenching. The pain “Well, now you come to mention it—” of it was actually physical: he gazed at the Bodie offered an arm to each lady and, mop of brown curls with a fierce hunger, laughing, they swept along with him, leav- every nerve tense with worry and despair. ing Doyle behind to savour the very last Doyle, pleasantly drowsy on a pint and mouthful of whisky. “Are you sure we want three scotches, was leaning first against one the boy with us?” Bodie asked facetiously; soft perfumed curve, then another. He with a very telling glance Doyle materialised caught Bodie’s eye on him, saw the odd at his elbow and relieved him of Sally. expression. He reached out and tapped That left Bodie with Rosa who was the Bodie’s hand. “Hey.” And when Bodie’s gaze prettier of the two, velvet eyes and a ripe locked with his, hurt and angry and blaz- melony bosom; not that Bodie would have ing with some fierce and unseen passion, minded, he liked any feminine company if some odd flash of the intuition which made it was warm, friendly and amenable and them a good team alerted Doyle to what Rosa certainly fitted the bill. No, it was Doyle Bodie was remembering. What he kept re- who had the taste for cool upper-class membering. What he could not forget when- bitches, and look where that had got him. ever Doyle was at his side—or worse, away After a chilly but swift walk through dark from it. streets they stopped outside the door of a For the first time, Doyle’s eyes opened to small terraced house and Sally fumbled for what Bodie had been through: self-pity and a key. Bodie drew Rosa closer in the circle shock had blinded him to all but his own of his arm. struggle to regain normality. Surprise, then “Are you sure this is safe, sweetheart?” pity overtook him; and a new resolve not to he murmured into her soft hair. “Me and turn Bodie’s protective instincts away for him, we don’t much go for jealous hus- reminding him that once he had failed, and bands.” so, the talisman of invincibility destroyed, Rosa whispered in his ear, “Both di- might fail again. vorced.” Why didn’t you set the locks. Why, Ray? With his customary speed of attack Bodie “It’s all right,” he said. “We live to fight it was who reached the bedroom, a frilly another day,” and the simple words did the ladies’ boudoir, first, along with his all-too trick, the shadow falling away. willing lady; she leaned over him, tickling “Amen to that. Another drink, ladies?” his face with the tips of her sweet-smelling Bodie’s gallant charm as he leapt to his hair. Time passed pleasantly. As he sur- feet and leaned over them, his eyes that deep faced from a perfumed kiss a low chuckle nightsea blue, sent shivers down Rosa and from the doorway made Bodie’s head turn; Sal’s susceptible spines. Doyle was propped there, arms akimbo, “Well, I don’t know. Isn’t it time we were shirt open to the waist, appraising him with thinking of moving on somewhere?” Sally a look of slow languor. said with delicacy. “Don’t waste much time, do you mate? I Bodie met Doyle’s eyes, inclined his head could spare you a few chat-up lines if you slightly. For a moment Doyle did nothing; like.” then he gave a little nod. “Don’t seem to need ’em,” Bodie shrugged Well, that’s it then, Bodie thought fatal- smugly. He turned back to Rosa’s plush lips, istically: no getting out of it now. mumbling against them: “Besides, ’ad me “You got anywhere in mind?” Doyle was mouth full, didn’t I.” asking, with a little flirtatious toss of the “Mind if I join you?” head, lip lifted to show a whitetoothed grin. “Why—am I coming apart?” With amaze- It was something he did rather well. Bodie ment, Bodie kept one eye on Doyle, throw-
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 27 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 ing himself down on the bed beside them Christ but Bodie was putting more energy and making himself comfortable. “Where’s into this than he was, palms pressing into Sally?” he asked; his heart was behaving the bed, the long strong muscles of back oddly. and thigh moving strongly as he took her, “In the bathroom. And if she doesn’t get his chest rearing up and his head thrust a move on I’ll have to start without her.” back. The visual impact of this excited Doyle Doyle chuckled evilly, ran a quick, provoca- suddenly, the pleasures of voyeurism not tive hand down himself, and closed his eyes. lost on him; Sally moved and moaned and Within a minute Sally was there, dressed he wanted to push her aside; she was block- in something green and silky which didn’t ing his view. He clasped her to this chest, stay on long. Good: he could stop worrying her head beneath his chin; a move she in- about Doyle now. He would, he really would. terpreted as affection and kissed his neck Firmly Bodie shut his eyes and threw him- while he studied Bodie’s face: dark tendrils self into his lady’s embrace with fervour. Go of hair curled damply on his brow and as to it, Ray. Enjoy yourself. he watched entranced, navy blue eyes opened and linked with his. Doyle lay there passively while Sal un- At that moment Doyle poured himself dressed him; he suddenly felt very tired. upwards in a lightning bolt of glory and it “What’s this?” She noticed his chest. was all over. “Gunshot wound,” he answered, and she laughed, clearly disbelieving him. Turning After a polite interval, Sally slipped off his head to one side as she struggled to draw him and lay beside him. Doyle put an arm off his jeans in a most unromantic fashion, around her and held her; she’d probably he watched Bodie kissing Rosa; both na- been disappointed, definitely not one of his ked already, what a fast worker. Bodie had better performances. He felt vaguely mis- a good body: strong, muscular, (perfect) erable and ridiculously tired. Sally kissed skin. He was murmuring something to his his shoulder in a comforting kind of way, girl with an amused twist of his lips; what- thereby confirming his impression that he ever it was it made them both burst out had totally failed to please her. laughing. Sally had arrived at last at his Bodie was getting his breath back. As underpants; he was now expected to show Doyle looked over he met Rosa’s eye and some interest in the proceedings. she smiled at him. She looked pleased, For a sick second of cold fear Doyle was flushed. Well, when they compared notes gripped with uncertainty; but then she after this no doubt as to who’d get the bet- touched him and he closed his eyes and it ter write-up. (Nor who deserved it.) Bodie’s was (thank god) all right after all, his cock arm around her shoulder touched Doyle’s: awakening to her fondling. He felt more re- he left it there, a warm and solid comfort. lief than anything: what he would have liked was to get blown, just to lie back and do “Do you want some coffee?” nothing while the sweet feeling surged, but Bodie started; the whisper had aroused he supposed it would be selfish to ask, some him from the doze he’d slipped into. “Yeah, women didn’t fancy it and who could blame that would be great.” them. So to be friendly he stroked her in With a smile and a last kiss she slipped return, and soon he felt her settle above out of the bed and into a robe she took from him; he held her hips and thrust and was the back of the door. Bodie looked over at inside her, it was as sweet and as simple as Sally and Doyle, tangled up together, both that. fast asleep. Pity to wake him, but they’d Beside him Bodie was moaning, short have to be on their way soon. Bodie’s brows little exhalations on a rising note. Lost in narrowed into a frown as he surveyed Doyle; his own fantasy, Doyle opened his eyes haz- even asleep, little lines of stress showed ily—and was arrested by the sight of him. around his eyes. Silver glints in his hair,
28 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 and on his chest the ugly brand of a wound chill. Bodie knew better, this time, than to most mortal. comment. Doyle was not yet thirty-five years old. “Turn down here, yeh?” The familiar tight sensation hit Bodie, an Doyle’s only reply was a noncommittal expression of fierce brooding twisting his sort of sound. “Nice girls,” Bodie offered, not face: that he felt much about them one way or Doyle had nearly died. the other; they turned into a side street. It couldn’t be right. Not that a young man, “Yeah, they were. Too nice for us,” Doyle’s full of life and vibrance, moods and feeling sour voice floated up from his chest where should be wiped out in a flash, just like he had buried his chin. that—all he had to offer to the world gone, “Oh, I dunno. They got what they wanted, flung to the winds and lost. For no good didn’t they?” reason. “That was what they wanted, was it—a For no good reason. quick poke and a wave?” And if he had died, Bodie asked himself Uh-oh. Obviously the blues had set in. reasonably, eyes dwelling on the smooth Bodie felt defensive, as if Doyle were blam- honey of his skin, returning as if drawn to ing him for something unknown; he had the that black nightmarish pucker over his feeling of stiffness between them, nothing heart: if he had died… What would that have specific, just that Doyle was very far away done to you? from him right now. He closed his eyes, trying to blot out the “All right, all right,” he muttered savagely. rising panic: to quell it, he set about to be “What’s that supposed to mean?” Doyle practical. To let his mind catalogue the op- deliberately, provokingly challenging. Spoil- tions open to him, to both of them: any- ing for a fight. thing to screen the fearful view of the fu- Bodie clenched his fists, thrust them deep ture which had so nearly become the past. and safe into his jacket pockets. “Thought I will do it, he thought, I have to do it; I’ll you’d enjoy it. For chrissake, Ray, you ask him to get out with me, we’ve done our weren’t exactly slow on the boil. Didn’t have bit for the nation, Cowley can find some to drag you to the bed kicking and scream- other young hopefuls to do or die. ing, did she?” He touched Doyle’s shoulder, found the He felt resentful, as people do who bear skin moist, and cool; pulled up the duvet someone’s troubles uncomplainingly for over him. Then, Bodie got up, picked up years and never get their sacrifice seen. his clothes from the floor and padded to the Doyle was staring at him, with that omi- bathroom to wash. nously chilly look. “I didn’t? Hang on mate, you were the Walking home through dark streets, flash-eyed Jack. Top marks for effort, sun- Doyle was quiet. So many moods, Bodie shine. You really got your rocks off, didn’t thought: so many areas of light and shade you? And you’re telling me you weren’t to make up the complexity of one particu- keen!” He put his hands on his hips and lar man. Doyle could be childish, distant, sneered. “I’d love to see it when you’re re- scrappy; infuriatingly moral or surprisingly ally feelin’ in the mood. Must move moun- cold-blooded: caring and callous depend- tains, does it?” ing on the day of the week. Most people were He said it very nastily. Had a viciousness no better, many were worse. Bodie knew to him, Doyle did; not often Bodie standing plenty with sweeter tempers he loved a good in the way of it. On top of all the emotions deal less. raging in him, Bodie was somewhere feel- Warm puffs of breath smoked the freez- ing a vast astonishment: that Doyle could ing night air a little. Doyle shivered and really believe he’d wanted nothing more turned the fur collar of his leather jacket from the evening than to screw his end away up, a little comfort against the November in Rosa.
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 29 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 “Love to see it would you?” he said with a Bodie drew in a long ragged breath, wiped lacing of silky venom and a very pleasant his mouth with the back of his hand. “Fancy smile. “Yes, I just bet you would.” you?” he repeated derisively. “Oh Christ no, Doyle stopped dead still, and turned to Ray, it’s much worse than that.” face him. His eyes glittered in the half-light; Without looking at his partner he set off, any sensible person would step back right his steps brisk and purposeful. Doyle came now and in a hurry. after him, conscious of a deep cold which “Quite the little voyeur, aren’t we Doyle?” reached through his icy blood right to the Bodie hissed, hot with his own rage now, heart of him; in five minutes they were back sick with his own blues. “Turns you on, does at their hotel. He followed Bodie up the steps it, watching: need it a bit kinky these days, to the ugly stained-glass front door; after do you? Third-hand thrills, watching an- all, there really was little else he could do. other bloke doing his stuff in bed—” Inside he leaned against it for a scant Blind with fury Doyle swung a punch at second, starting upright when the bone thin him with the full force of his body weight figure of Miss Parrish materialised. He behind it; Bodie blocked him, letting the hefty slumped back and let Bodie deal with her, blow flash harmlessly past his ear as he side- eyes running over the broad back, the pow- stepped and caught Doyle as he cannoned erful lines of Bodie’s thighs in closecut into him, off-balance with impetus. cords, tuning into the conversation well af- All textbook stuff. Macklin would be ter it had begun— proud of them. What came next was in no “—rather it didn’t happen again—” book ever written on the martial arts. Bodie and Bodie’s coolly polite, unhumble mur- took Doyle’s arm and pushed him to the mur of conciliation— rough brick wall behind. “Third-hand “—doing our friend the Major a favour is thrills? Try the real thing, Doyle,” he said one thing, but having men treating the and leaned into him, bringing his mouth house like a transport cafe is something else down onto the pout below and imposing on entirely—” him the most savage, most brutal kiss he “I’ll pass on the message," Bodie prom- was capable of. ised, with a swift and charming smile: and He felt the bitter wind blow against their as she vanished back into her domain— skin as the kiss went on for uncounted time; through the open door, marked PRIVATE, a Doyle’s mouth hard, resisting his, then soft- television screen flickered—Doyle came to ening, growing warm, his lips finally part- with a blink, realising Bodie’s hard, dark ing to Bodie’s searching tongue. Tasting gaze was piercing him to the bone as he salt, Bodie swallowed, and kissed him again told him: with fire but no violence: his body pressed “We got company.” against his partner’s, and even through Bodie’s eyes looked black in the dim light, denim he could feel the burning heat of glittering with the aftermath of the mad- Doyle’s body, the driving need of his own. ness which had seized them; Doyle did not Finally he drew his mouth away, resting know it but he looked as wild, half-fey in his forehead for one brief moment on Doyle’s the shadows which cast light on his odd leatherclad shoulder, Doyle’s hurried breath cheek, lent a green shine to his eye. They warm against his ear. stared at each other for a moment without Then he pulled himself away and stood speaking. there, looking at him, his hands clenching “Come on,” Bodie said, and he turned and into fists. ran straightbacked up the stairs. Doyle fol- “So now we know,” said Doyle, his voice lowed, taking them an easy three at a time. odd, husky. In their room, a haven no longer, lounged “Oh yeah?” Bodie said bitterly. “You think two of their fellow agents. so?” “Well, well, now, if it isn’t Butch and “Fancy me, do you?” Sundance,” Flaherty’s soft Irish drawl
30 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 greeted them as Doyle kicked shut the door. defensively on the fence, breathed again and “Dodie and Boyle, Cowley’s favourite they fell to discussing the matters in hand. calflings.” An old foe, this: he and Doyle “You takin’ first watch?” Bodie addressed kindled one another like flint against gun- the other pairing. metal, scratching then flaring. Bodie “We fully intend to, Bodie me ol’ mate,” groaned inwardly, watching Doyle’s wary, Flaherty responded. “Laid out the sarnies feral stance as Flaherty uncurled his lean already, for the midnight feast.” six-foot-one frame and circled him slowly. “Oh, and just look at the time,” Bodie This is all we needed. said, pointedly examining his watch and “And what have you been up to, Raymond leaping to open the door. “If you don’t get me sweet?” Flaherty’s long finger flicked going you’ll miss the deadline.” Doyle on the cheek, sharp summersky eyes On his way out Flaherty couldn’t resist searching, not missing the bruised, swol- one parting shot. “And you look after that len lips. “Looking a little tired, if I may say little leprechaun of yours, Bodie-boy. He’s so. Just a touch the worse for wear.” lookin’ peaky, to me.” “Shut up, Spud,” said Bodie shortly. “I Doyle sprang up and flew for the door. hear you’re hot tip number one for the Cow’s Bodie slammed it shut on retreating Irish merit award this month: and a black eye just laughter and stood firm. might ruin your chances.” He liked the “Don’t, Ray, it’s not worth it. Ray,” fend- Irishman, who was a brilliant shot and smart ing off Doyle with one hand. “What’s the and quick as mercury; also his placid part- bloody point, he’s just a stirrer, that’s all.” ner Todman, but right now they were noth- Doyle turned away from him and ing to him, they might as well be stones on thumped both fists hard against the wall in the beach. “Bit late for a party, innit? Todders impotent fury, or despair. He stayed lean- needs his beauty sleep like no-one I know.” ing there, head between his arms, staring Burly agent 4.8, he of the crinkly brown at the floor. hair and the best collection of beer cans ever “You can see what they think. What they seen—due, he’d assured Bodie gravely, to a all think.” lifetime’s quietly joyful experimentation— “No they don’t. Look, Doyle, there’s no said from the depths of the pink armchair: real harm in Spud: can’t you see it’s the “George is worried about you two. Hopes very last thing he’d say if it was true?” you’re eating well. He’s sent us to share the Doyle’s head flew up and he glared at load, in fact, so you can have regular tea- Bodie, green fire in his eye. “No, I don’t see breaks.” that. I don’t see that at all. Well, I’m damn Doyle threw himself onto the bed, hands well going to prove everybody wrong, that’s behind his head, dirty-soled boots up on all.” the counterpane. It was in fact Bodie’s one, Bodie grinned, preferring angry to maud- but Bodie decided, looking at the tight set lin any day of the week. “That’s my Ray. of his partner’s mouth, that to remind Doyle You do that.” of this would not be prudent. Feeling better, Bodie wandered around Oh Christ make them go. Or stay. having a yawn, drawing the curtains, “We don’t need bloody minders,” Doyle switching on the rose-pink standard lamp. was snarling at Flaherty, who looked “Bodie.” pleased, carefree and winning on points, as “Yeh?” he sniffed the air with delicacy. It was faintly “Do you think I’ll come back?” rank—possibly boiled carrots? “That your Bodie didn’t look at him, banging his pil- dinner I can smell? Lucky, lucky little low into shape. “Yeh, no problem.” laddies.” “You’re just saying that.” “We dined ite,” Bodie said, “ectually.” Bodie was brutal, swinging round and The ridiculous remark broke the tension glaring. “Look, mate, I knew someone in the crackling through the room; Bodie, sitting Mercs had half an arm and a foot bitten off
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 31 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 by a croc. Next I knew he was in charge of a winging their way up the wall, thinking it battalion making raids on weapon stores, out as he spoke, his voice rising and quick- and if he could come back anyone could so ening as his urgency grew, “We’ve had a good stop feeling so bloody sorry for yourself and run, we’ve done it all, every damn thing get on with the bloody job.” Cowley’s asked us to do for our bloody coun- “I don’t bloody well feel sorry for myself!” try save lying down and dying for it: what Doyle snapped. “Just as well, since every- about getting out before that’s top of the list?” one else is more than makin’ up for me.” Doyle looked at him; he seemed totally He stamped off and slammed the door of stunned by the turn of the conversation. the bathroom shut. There was a sound of “And do what?” taps being wrenched around in angry jerks. Bodie turned back towards him and Water shuddering and hissing into the bath looked down at him swishing gently, rhyth- tub. A tank somewhere started to gurgle, mically in the bath and said: “I dunno. In- noisily refilling from juddery old pipes. surance salesmen. Couriers. Open a shop. Bodie raised his eyes heavenwards. He Who cares? We’d find something.” marched to the bathroom, opened the door Doyle snorted suddenly with laughter and and looked in. Doyle was stripping off; rinsed soap out of his ears. “Shopkeepers!” clouds of steam were rising from the gen- Bodie’s narrow leather holster encircled his teel pink tub. broad back; he was balanced on the balls “I’m sure Miss P,” Bodie said acidly, “and of his feet and frowning into the steamed- all the other guests will be thoroughly en- up mirror; a hard dark fighting man, every joying your midnight ablutions. They’ll prob- inch of him. Despite himself Doyle felt a ably tell us, just how much they enjoyed it, bleak erotic stab within; all that power, in the morning.” leashed back. Bodie had the kind of dan- Doyle clearly cared as much about that gerous beauty which women found compel- as he did about the best knitting patterns. ling. Women—and some men. Doyle knew The sage sweater came Bodie’s way, followed only too well how attractive his partner was by Doyle’s trousers and two flying socks. to gentlemen that way inclined. Bodie fielded them all neatly and tossed “I’m trying, but I just can’t see you in a them into the bedroom. butcher’s apron, mate,” he said, a delight- Doyle was stepping over the rim of the fully incongruous image springing to his bath. “Tell her it’s on the Cow’s statutes we mind, Bodie in a bloodstained apron, bare go to bed clean every night.” strong forearms revealed, wielding a mighty “It could be, at that,” Bodie agreed as chopper. Doyle, naked, slid wholly beneath the wa- Bodie was not to be diverted. He returned ter, then resurfaced, blurry-eyed and shak- and sat on the edge of the bath, gazing ing his head of dripping curls. Some brisk broodingly down at Doyle, dark gaze raking interplay with a bar of soap began. Bodie’s him from top to toe. Under the scrutiny gaze darkened, drifting like debris on the Doyle winked, and kicked one foot lazily, tide: he said abruptly: “What about resign- languishing like a basking seal. The water ing?” was clouded with soap; Doyle’s body hair Doyle opened wide eyes at him, totally lifted and settled, lifted, settled, like sea- still, the soap forgotten in his hand. weed drifting around rocks. “Not you,” Bodie hastened to say. “Both “I’m serious, Ray. Okay, it’s been fun, it’s of us.” been great, we got paid, laid lead into a few Doyle’s hand wandered to the ugly puck- blokes the world was better off without. But ered snarl on his chest. “Because of this?” now—” Bodie’s voice sharpened with ten- Bodie turned restlessly away. “Not just sion— “you damn well nearly died, Ray. I that. There comes a time, that’s all…playing reckon we can call it a day, no sweat, no cops and robbers all our lives.” He stared guilt. Let some other idiots fall under unseeingly at three ducks in tasteful ceramic Cowley’s do-or-die spell.”
32 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 Doyle sat up. One hell of an evening. He pipes and horrible gurglings. Bodie winced. swung himself up and over the edge of the This rate, they’d probably be booted out in bath, pulled a warmed rosepink towel off the morning by the Iron Lady. the rail, rubbed himself vigorously and effi- “Because what?” Doyle asked. He hadn’t ciently. Drops of water flew everywhere. He moved, leaning easily on the doorjamb, one threw the towel over his head and said from slender fingered hand gripping the frame. the depths: “Look mate. That’s a bit dras- Bodie plucked another large towel off the tic, innit? Okay, it’s been a weird night, and rail, its soft thick pile a noticeable contrast we’ve had some hard times lately. It’ll all with the dry sandpaper rectangles which look different in the morning.” emerged from his washing machine. His buttocks were thin, pale and muscu- “Give it a rest, Ray.” Dry enough, he lar, a darkened cleft between. “You’re avoid- folded the towel neatly, brushed his teeth ing the issue, mate.” And Doyle whirled to at speed and padded still naked to the bed- face him, eyes blazing a question, a chal- room, pushing past Doyle. lenge: “Look, if we don’t get our heads down “What is the issue, Bodie?” And they were soon, we’re gonna be in no fit state for 24- there again, staring into the abyss. hour eyeballs tomorrow, so get to bed.” Bodie rubbed his hand over his eyes; he He put his gun within easy reach, was conscious suddenly of a gritty fatigue. switched off the main light and rolled into “You get to bed, Ray.” He turned away bed. Too much had happened tonight, his and began to strip, boneweary. His watch mind whirling with a difficult stir of was the last thing to come off—12.30. thoughts; he supposed Doyle must be feel- Christ. For the sake of quiet he used Doyle’s ing much the same. Unfinished, the tumult water; it was still reasonably hot, if scummy lamented, lost chances, undone. with soap, the odd curl of hair here and In the sudden dark, memories burned there. By the time he got to the soaping with unwelcome clarity; Doyle turned over, stage Doyle was back, pulling a striped silk pressed his cheek into his hand, and re- dressing gown around himself and tying it membered Bodie’s kiss. deftly at the waist. His hair was damp and If you could call it that. curling tightly, his eyes heavy with fatigue. Assault, more like it. He stared at Bodie from the doorway. And yet… “You think I’ve lost my edge, don’t you. He remembered hard lips bruising fire Don’t fancy trusting me as a partner, is that onto sensitive skin, the lazy kiss of Bodie’s it?” tongue with his own; shafts of dark and “No,” Bodie said. “Christ no, Ray, of secret pleasure stabbed him in the guts. course not. I’d trust you with my life to- Christ. morrow, you know that. I may have to.” More exhausted than he would wish “I dunno,” Doyle said, “seems everyone’s Bodie to know, he fell asleep. always looking over my shoulder these days. Bodie, not so fortunate, sweated on what Especially.” to do, what to say, what he wanted—he Of course it must seem like that to him. didn’t know—what Doyle wanted—he didn’t Touchy and sensitive as he was: no wonder know that either—and finally he turned his he took it the wrong way, seeing distrust face onto a cool part of the pillow, closed where there was only—something quite dif- his eyes, and slept. ferent. “Look, Ray, if I do that it’s only because—” Doyle jerked, and awoke with a shock to He stopped abruptly and hauled himself find Bodie looming over him in the dark- out of the bath, setting off quite a tidal wave ness. “What is it?” he slurred groggily, in the cool water as he bent over and reaching out for his gun, for the light, wrenched out the plug. A dreadful tumult knocking something off the bedside with a began, loud sucking noises, shuddering clatter. Bodie stopped him, pressing a hand
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 33 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 down on his arm and pushing him back to and me? Would we? My dancin’ days are the bed. over, mate.” “Okay, mate, it’s okay. You were dream- “’E meant it. Any trouble and we’re on ing, that’s all. Go back to sleep, it’s only our own.” five.” Bodie groaned in earnest, hefting his Doyle lay back, exhaling like a surfaced Magnum from one hand to another. “Not whale. “Sorry,” he muttered. Almost in- that again.” stantly he was asleep again. Bodie slid back Embassies were sensitive places: and between the sheets gratefully—the air in the especially this one, whose occupants were room had a chill dawn feel—and wondered enjoying themselves right now sitting on the what would have happened if he had fence between Britain, the U.S., and Iran; touched Ray, so warm. If— the apprehension of one of their diplomats Next time he woke it was light. His eyes fell suspected of terrorism on the politically upon Doyle, sitting at the window, back to neutral ground of an embassy by agents of him, a grey blanket slung round his shoul- the host country’s government would not ders as he warmed both hands around a weigh too well in Britain’s favour. steaming mug and stared out at the horizon. “That’s if one of his own lot don’t pick “Bit keen, aren’t we?” Bodie’s voice him off anyway,” Bodie added gloomily. croaked with sleep. He always felt terrible “They ’ave about fifty branches of the royal in the morning: and Doyle wasn’t usually a family all with a claim to the throne, you ray of sunshine, either. know. Die like flies in the swatting season.” “Don’t want Soo to slip through our fin- Doyle twisted to look at him unblinkingly. gers. I may be farmed out to babysitting jobs “Did your homework, I see.” these days but that’s all the more reason “Yeah. Riveting stuff.” Bodie yawned, feel- not to let the baby die on me. ’Ave a coffee.” ing a twinge of hunger gripping his belly. “Made it for me, have you?” Bodie asked “Shall I go down for breakfast first? Or you?” hopefully. He leaned down over his partner, very close, “Kettle’s still ’ot,” Doyle said without a to catch his reply. Doyle had a large pic- pause. Bodie grimaced, rolled over and sat ture of Amun Soo laid on his lap. up, prising his eyelids apart. Doyle’s blue Unbearably and inexplicably moved by unshaven jaw was tilted in a determined this, Bodie kissed him on the cheek. Doyle set and his eyes raked the streets merci- squawked, “Gerroff, Bodie!” and dusted him lessly. away. “God,” Bodie groaned, “Ray Doyle, “Just my natural high spirits,” Bodie said, supersleuth.” He dragged himself out of bed stalking away smugly, “coming out.” and came to stand behind his partner. “You Doyle snorted. “Not the only thing comin’ been reading the Boy’s Own again?” out, I reckon.” “Nah, just Cowley’s motivation pam- “Promises, promises,” carolled Bodie, phlets.” Bodie disappeared into the bath- batting his eyelids roguishly and heading room and reappeared in precisely ten min- for the door. utes, neat and shining with virtue and effi- Doyle turned around to stare after him. ciency. He narrowed his eyes and peered “Oi. Where d’you think you’re going?” out at the deserted streets. “I reckon we “Breakfast. Don’t worry. I’ll save some for ought to take a look round the embassy. you.” Just in case.” “If it’s black puddin’,” Doyle’s voice floated In answer Doyle tossed him a piece of glumly through the open door, “don’t paper. “Map.” Bodie unfolded it and stared bother.” at the diagram. “Cowley said not to tread on any toes.” Bodie felt good as he went down the Bodie grinned, stretching and throwing stairs, better than for a good while now; Ray his chest out, hands behind his head. “You seemed to be in a sunnier frame of mind,
34 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 not feeling too vengeful. Okay, so nothing “Mind if I share? Shame to dirty two was resolved: but things had a way of work- tables. Nice girl, that Jane, far enough to ing themselves out. One way or another. do as it is.” Take each day as it comes… “Er—my mate’ll be down in a minute,” “Good morning,” Miss Parrish’s voice Bodie lied, but undeterred the man sat transfixed him from behind; her smile this across from him, beaming as he shook out morning looked predatory, like a steel trap a snowy napkin and stuffed it inside his for animals. “I’d just like, if you don’t mind, collar. to draw your attention to the House Rules, “Name’s Fred. You?” and then if you’d like a table for breakfast—” “Bill,” Bodie said resignedly, shaking the The rules began with ‘Guests are re- proffered hand. quested not to smoke in their Rooms’, ended “Fred and Bill! Sounds like the Flower- with ‘Gratuities to the kitchen staff are NOT pot Men, dunnit? Best breakfast in all Lon- permitted’; somewhere in the middle was don, this,” Fred carried on, “for the price, ‘Guests are requested not to draw hot wa- that is. You on holiday then? Seeing the ter between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.’ sights.” Bodie handed them back, smiling with “No chance,” said Bodie glumly. “Sales great charm and contriving a puzzled air. have been pretty low lately, my boss wants All the way to breakfast he could feel her a 30% rise in definite orders this month.” eyes boring grimly into his back. He loaded a fork with sausage, chunk of It was a bright, cheerful room containing bacon, piece of fried bread, and dipped the several tables, each with a vase of fresh flowers lot in his egg. in the centre of a snow-white tablecloth, a stone “Salesman, are you?” interpreted Fred, a jar of chunky marmalade and a generous pat man of lightning uptake. of butter in a glass dish—no tiny foil-wrapped “’S’right,” Bodie agreed through a mouth- portions here, Bodie was glad to note. From ful. somewhere came the heartening smell of fry- “Very interesting,” Fred said valiantly. ing bacon, and the waitress who approached “Now what line of business would that be, him had a wide smile and a pleasantly large then?” bottom. What more could be hoped for? Bodie ran through half a dozen alterna- “—with three sausages?” Bodie said win- tives from Bugattis to cosmetics, and said ningly as she scribbled down his order. unexcitedly, “Vacuum cleaners.” “Need to keep my strength up.” “You don’t say,” Fred marvelled. “Now me, She giggled at him and tossed her long I’m retired. Coffee for me, love, and two blonde hair as she walked away, and Bodie poached eggs.” He winked at the waitress knew he would get his extra sausage. His who smiled at him. Then she smiled at Bodie, lips wrinkled smugly: if you were born beau- and whisked off under his admiring gaze. tiful, charming and irresistible, you might When he returned it to his breakfast, his just as well exploit it. companion was peering with him at his His stomach gurgled as he contemplated plate. the three-artery-pileup of cholesterol set “Like a cooked breakfast, do you?” Fred before him; looked wonderful. Doyle, now said gloomily. “Doctor’s orders, me—lowfat he’d probably munch his way through an diet.” With a jaundiced eye he watched him identical plateful and then float up to the use up most of the butter on one half-slice room claiming he’d had a glass of spring of toast. water and a little Austrian muesli. Bodie I do not want, I just do not want the com- picked up his fork and dived in. pany of this man at breakfast tomorrow, The door opened and in came a man, bald Bodie thought, the taste of his sausage quite and wrinkled, who boomed out a cheery tarnished by dislike; and he opened his excitable greeting as he spotted Bodie, who mouth and began to tell Fred quite a lot mumbled a muted response. more than anyone would want to know
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 35 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 about the sales, performance, and technol- decided this was going to be a very quick ogy of your average vacuum cleaner. cup of coffee indeed. He reached for it firmly. “Havin’ your coffee in the lounge then,” Twenty minutes later he was closing the Fred said, nodding approvingly. door of room 14 behind him. The head of “S’right,” Doyle agreed, and took a large curls silhouetted in front of the window swallow. looked decidedly fed-up. “Then you’ll be off on the beat, no doubt.” “Your turn,” Bodie said, arriving beside “No doubt at all.” him and staring out. “Anything?” “Business a bit slack, your mate tells me.” “Nope,” came the disgruntled reply. “Yep.” “Street’s as bare as the parson’s nose.” “Nice chap,” Fred said clearly disap- “Bit early for your average international pointed that Doyle was so different. He terrorist, probably.” Bodie plucked the bin- chuckled. “I’d buy a Christmas tree in Au- oculars out of Doyle’s unresisting hand and gust off that one, all right.” displaced him on the stool. “Go and get your “Me too,” Doyle agreed absently. Out of juice, old son. You’ll like the waitress. Also the window he saw a group of business- a charming fellow guest, name of Fred.” men, dark suited, very close to the Embassy “Bodie.” doors. Every hair on head prickled with ten- “What?” He didn’t turn, being officially on-duty sion: he catalogued the men rapidly. Ori- now, but something in Doyle’s voice tensed him. ental, yes; suspicious looking—yes; and, “I don’t want the waitress. Understand?” ohmigod, one of them was actually reach- “Okay, fine,” Bodie said lightly. “Leave her ing inside his doublebreasted suit— for me.” Doyle leapt to his feet, diving inside his Doyle snorted, eyes on the broad back of jacket for his gun—not there—damn and his partner. For a moment it seemed as if fuck it to hell, every sense alert and ready to he might say something more, but he turned go, to move, to run: and then the business- on his heel and left. man drew out of his pocket a gold lighter “Don’t forget to look out for Fred,” Bodie which he flicked as he talked rapidly and lit called after him. “Very good conversationalist.” the cigarette of his nearest colleague. “Right.” Doyle sank slowly back down onto the “Oh, and Doyle—” chair, puffing out his cheeks with the gusti- “What?” Doyle stuck his head back ness of his sigh. around the door, irritable. Watching him were two curious eyes. “You’re a salesman.” “Sorry,” Doyle said, and he sniffed. “Felt a sneeze coming on.” Doyle breakfasted by himself, noted the charms of the waitress just as Bodie had, Anything?” Bodie queried of his R/T, squint- then took his third cup of coffee into the ing out over the top of it with one blue eye. bright lounge. As he sank down into a very “Naught but a word from Cowley,” comfortable armchair, a lean and rangy fig- Flaherty’s tinny voice reported. “Things are ure unfolded itself like a creaky spectral hotting up…so he says.” vision from a seat with its back to the door. Bodie groaned. “Well, tell him the only “Hello there, hello. Fred’s the name.” The thing hotting up round here is—” man bounded eagerly over, hand out- “—Doyle?” Flaherty enquired, interested. stretched. “My temper,” Bodie told with equanim- “Ray Doyle,” admitted Doyle sourly, hav- ity. “This is a waste of time, and don’t we ing long ago decided that Bodie’s Fred was all know it.” most likely one of Bodie’s little fantasies. “Raid Oil?” echoed Fred doubtfully, but Doyle was on the last two inches of coffee. shaking his hand nonetheless. With gloom “I expect it’s your mate does the talking,” Doyle saw him take a seat beside him and Fred guessed.
36 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 “Yeah,” Doyle agreed. “Me, I’m just there like being a really thrilling day. Pack the to discourage—late arrivals of payment.” dominoes, did you?” With this, he smiled. Fred flinched. Doyle chuckled as he walked across the “Well, it’s not everyone gifted with the gab, room. “Thought you wanted it borin’. Not is it,” he comforted. “How many would you twelve hours since you were all for us sign- say you sell a week, then?” ing on with the Boy Scouts, or somethin’“ Doyle set his cup down, suddenly wary. Bodie turned to look at him, his eyes very How many what?—Wait a minute— blue indeed. Doyle stood stock still; but “Well, season’s coming up now, of Bodie said, mildly enough, “Yeah, well that’s course,” he said elusively. me, Doyle, always prepared.” Fred stared at him. He had a peculiarly Doyle pursed his lips and peered out of egg-shaped head, with greasy-looking the window. Bit of action, that’s what Bodie glasses. “Seasonal sort of trade then, you’d needed. He was too tough, too large a char- say?” acter to be cooped up like this in a soft pink Doyle stared back. Naturally Christmas cage. trees were seasonal—weren’t they? No action, however, was forthcoming. “Yeah, I’d say so.” Only an old man, looking the other way “Interesting,” mused Fred excitedly. while beside him a mangy dog squatted. “People do more of it in the winter, do they?” Bodie was incensed. He pushed up the sash Something was amiss here. window and bawled: “Oi! There’s a fifty quid “Seems so,” Doyle said floundering, but fine for that, you know!” hoping for the best. He buried his head in “Poor old geezer,” Doyle said as the man his cup—all gone but the dregs. jumped a mile and began a haunted visual “Must be all the pine needles. Never get search for the source of the reprimand. The rid of ’em do you?” jested Fred and Doyle’s dog, unconcerned, continued to perform. head snapped up suspiciously. Now they “I’m fed up to here with dogshit on my were back to Christmas trees again! shoes.” The R/T bleeped and Bodie angrily Fed up with this, he decided to lay his snatched it up. “3.7.” cards on the line: placing both hands flat “Just checking up on you,” Flaherty’s on the table he faced Fred firmly. mechanised tones filtered from the tiny “If you’re interested, I could do you a nice metal grille. “We’ll leave the baby rockin’ in Norwegian spruce. Special price.” your tree, then, me mate an’ I are off to the “A what?” Fred looked at him askew. “A ball.” what, son?” “What baby,” Doyle bemoaned, leaning Doyle pressed it home, smooth and sure over Bodie’s shoulder. and to the bone. “6-footer, flame-resistant “You might well ask, me lovey: meself I pine-o-tex in natural evergreen with a red think the Cow’s tossed us an empty bucket.” leatherette pot. Very,” Doyle said, “natty.” The connection broken, Doyle was exam- And he sat back. ining the carpet. Bodie glanced at him. “Put “Ah well,” Fred said after a pause. “Takes some music on, eh? Might liven us up a bit. all types, dunnit?” Even if it’s only that Mozart rubbish you were playing last night,” he said to be wicked, but Doyle didn’t leap in and cor- rect him haughtily, didn’t even seem to have Bodie was where Doyle had left him, lean- heard. ing at ease against the wall, the binoculars “Do you think Spud and Todders—” dangling from one square hand. “No, I don’t,” Bodie said sharply, his spine “Anything?” Doyle said, shutting the door tensing. behind him. “Why not?” “Not even any street theatre.” Bodie Bodie grimaced. “Oh, look at Todman. Pipe turned his way and glowered darkly. “Looks and slippers chap if ever there was one.”
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 37 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 “There was Matheson and King,” Doyle must be feeling more like himself, a week said almost defensively. ago he’d have stayed up grim-eyed till mid- Bodie shrugged. “Well okay, we all knew night rather than give in. Bodie stayed at about them.” He added, half panicking, a his post, jettisoning a glance back towards jeer: “What’s the matter, Doyle? Planning a the huddled form on the bed every so often. purge?” Ray Doyle! Whether he was blessed or Doyle took no notice of him. “Just won- cursed to know him Bodie had no idea. dering, that’s all. What any of our chances Doyle twitched, and muttered, and are—” He stopped, staring out, moody-eyed. dreamed. “Of what?” Bodie prompted, his heart A huge mirrored ballroom dazzled him, so pounding, pounding. that he could not quite see; he glided about “—of living,” Doyle said, into the remote among people whose faces he did not quite distance. know. Confusion and a great weariness Quietly spoken, terrible in aspect. troubled him; just to lift one foot and put After a pause, Bodie said roughly, “You’re another down seemed like something tre- not the only one has nightmares, you know,” mendous. He was worrying, too; he was late and from nowhere the vision came: Doyle for something important, he had to be some- below him, the view angled and slanted, his where, somewhere else, and how could he slit chest stretched open by a surgeon’s get there quickly if he was so weighted down? clamps, the bloody arch of his ribs shield- He had a partner in his arms, light as ing a ravaged heart which trembled and re- down; in the mirrored wall he kept glimps- fused to beat: the chink of a bleeding bullet ing the top of her head against his chest. in a dish. She felt insubstantial, barely real at all and Bodie drummed and tapped his fingers on he had no idea who she was. and on and on. Doyle was silent. “You see?” A tap on his shoulder made him jump. Bodie said, because he could not bear not Turning, he saw Bodie there, large and vivid, to. “You know I’m right. You know it. Let’s but it was Bodie with a peculiar look in his get out, Doyle, before it’s too bloody late.” eyes which made his heart hammer and his Doyle shook his head. It was tempting, legs turn weak. Bodie thought, to shake a bit more of him, “May I have the pleasure?” Bodie asked but his anger died away as Doyle said, chin in his deepest voice, and Doyle let go of his tilted: partner, never saw her again. He was en- “Run away, you mean?” and Bodie un- folded into Bodie’s arms and swept off; and derstood with his gut diving helplessly that he knew with a vast sense of relief that it now, more than ever, there was no chance was all right now: wherever he had to go for them. Bodie would take him. And Bodie whispered He turned angrily away. “Make us a into his ear with the subtlest of charm, cuppa,” he said, staring out of the window. “Come with me, Ray.” “Oh, unless it’s against the bloody house Doyle felt himself tremble, life impossi- rules, of course.” bly sweetened: he felt himself hard and tight against Bodie and he knew he was going to The day passed slowly. People sauntered have an orgasm. along the pavement, people went up the “It’s all right,” Bodie murmured to him, Embassy steps. People left the Embassy: very seriously, “No-one will care…” but none of them was Amun Soo—unless, as Doyle pointed out, he’d had a foot of shin Doyle awoke with a frightening jolt, heart removed from each leg; Soo was a tall man, pounding, skin tingling sickly with shock. and the Embassy visitors seemed one and For a moment he simply stared up at the all to be midgets. ceiling, closed his eyes, opened them and In the late afternoon Doyle snoozed on stared again, exhaling as he tried to calm the bed while Bodie did the watching; he his racing pulse. Bodie was by the window,
38 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 gazing out; he didn’t turn towards the bed. kill forever his chance of independence. He Doyle watched him, saw the broad shoul- could just imagine Bodie, stepping in so- ders in leather, the dark hair curling over licitous, pinning a cloak around his shoul- his collar, the fine ends of it just beginning ders to protect him from the storm. to curl. Someone—Bodie of course—had laid a blanket over him while he dozed: with the With one sudden movement Doyle got up, chills of the newly-awake he was glad of it. flinging the blanket aside. Bodie jumped, Not yet wanting to face Bodie, he closed and turned to look at him. his eyes again. His body thrummed with He was not expecting anything, had no disappointment, threads of sweet delight expression prepared: had no idea of the still hovering, waiting to be gathered. It sudden beauty of his eyes, a navy blue brought a bitter smile to his lips: he needed gleam under black silken lashes, the hand- something, that was for sure. some, tender line of his jaw. Staring at him, The smile died, a hazy imperfect memory Doyle narrowed his eyes, took a deep breath. stealing into his mind; one night, drunk, “What’s the matter?” Bodie said, and af- flicking beercaps at a spot on the wall, much ter a moment Doyle came over to him, rested hilarity. They had had many good times like his hand on Bodie’s shoulder. What would that, himself and Bodie, firing each other that commit him to? Nothing. He left it there, on to new highs of energy, of humour, of squeezing gently. “Seen anything?” He nod- wildness—excitement— ded at the window. And this night— “Course not,” Bodie said lightly. “Begin- The lights were low, the television flick- ning to think you’re right, mate, this is an ered. oyster with no pearl.” Bodie had suggested something, or he Doyle leaned against him a little, stayed had. there. Together they looked out at the grey He didn’t remember the details; the next streets in silence. morning with a sour belly and an aching head he had dispatched two empty Johnnie The day stretched on: their watch ended Walker bottles down the rubbish chute to at six. shatter at the bottom: old Cowley’d be proud “What shall we do?” Bodie asked idly; he of the singleminded effort he and Bodie were stretched and yawned, all of his joints click- making to boost the Highland economy. ing. No, the details… Near enough to notice, Doyle caught the …were unimportant, but he knew beyond scent of warm sweat; Bodie wore a white doubt or self-delusion that something had shirt, the cuffs of which were rolled up to happened. Unmistakable, that guilty delight his elbows, the brown leather of his holster at something secret shared, something in- softened and worn in places. The black tensely thrilling, a little wicked (dirty?) magnum gleamed, however: Bodie was an maybe… Bodie had been nice to him for army man and you did not take short cuts. days, a softness in his eye when he looked “Get an early night, from the sound of you,” at him. Doyle growled. In one way he wished he could remem- “Need to eat.” ber, and yet he didn’t need to. Bodie had “Takeaway?” Doyle suggested, reluctant touched him, and he had wanted Bodie to: to go back to the pub. No more Sals, no more. they could turn on to one another, it was All that’s over. no use denying it. The thought came from nowhere; he felt Fancy me? he had accused Bodie savagely more relief than anything. And then he knew last night; but Bodie had turned the ques- it meant he was getting older, that soon he tion aside, and answered quite a different one. would be looking back on his youth. It took Doyle burned, and yet shivered: newly him by surprise: a chill ran through him, fragile, to invite Bodie’s love was surely to and then another.
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 39 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 “Getting a cold?” Bodie asked, innocuously “Can you get a drink in this place?” Doyle enough but it caught Doyle right on the raw. muttered, feeling the evening’s thirst creep He hunched his shoulders and snarled: up on him. “Don’t you just bet Miss P ’as “For chrissake will you stop watching me Saudi sympathies?” all the fuckin’ time?” Bodie made a face. “Yeh, bar’s as dry as The words were out of his mouth before a—virgin’s drawers—” He was reaching over he could stop them. Bodie said nothing; to his Gladstone bag, rummaging; came the after a moment he went into the bathroom. right way up, with a smug smile. “Fortu- Doyle took off his gun, viciously. He be- nately, however—” and he produced a bottle gan to unbutton his shirt. A door slammed of whisky with a triumphant flourish. behind him and another opened. “Good thinkin’,” Doyle approved; but the “Where you going?” He whirled around strange mood of the evening was still upon to catch Bodie leaving, and Bodie looked him. The stuff slid on a smooth and fiery back at him, a dark, enigmatic look. track down his throat; he shifted higher up “Thought I’d go out. Since you’re in one the bed, leaned on the pillows with his glass of your more charming moods.” in hand and watched the football, though Doyle crossed the space between them he couldn’t have told you the score. in two bounds. “Don’t.”” He took hold of the The little room was cosy, glowing pinkly lapels of Bodie’s jacket in two hands, and again. Rain drummed unceasingly on the Bodie looked down at them expressionless, windowpanes and pattered on the roof; the not caught up with this. cars swished by slickly on the wet roads. It “I know I’m hell to live with,” Doyle said. was not a night to be out. Bodie lay on his “Don’t give up on me.” back, on his comfortable bed with a rosy Two beats of silence; then it broke. light beside it, contented enough, doing the A quirk of humour gleamed from Bodie’s Guardian crossword. He did quite a lot of it eye. “All right, Raymondo, you win a sec- out loud, speculating and frowning and ond chance.” He tapped Doyle’s cheek with scribbling down anagrams. a firm finger. “But that’s your lot.” “‘Pointers to someone’,” he read, “‘with- Making Bodie stay was easy enough. In out it’.” fact, Doyle had the feeling that making Bodie “’Aven’t got a clue.” do anything at all might not be difficult. He “Just gave you one. Too late. Person,” found the thought oddly disquieting. Bodie said with satisfaction, and his pen They went down, in the end, to the sec- moved quickly and scratchily on the page. ond sitting of dinner in the hotel; not hav- Doyle’s eyes flicked from side to side, fol- ing prebooked they weren’t entirely wel- lowing the little stick footballers running come. But Miss Parrish, obviously remem- and running this way and that while the bering some heady, long-ago nights with a voice of the crowd rose and fell in the back- dashing young Cowley, bit down on ground, and the excitable commentator disfavour and produced an unexpectedly squeaked on and on and on. good steak-and-kidney pudding. Fred Finished, Bodie threw down the paper waved from across the room, clearly disap- and the pen and stuffed his hands behind pointed to be on his caramel crème when his head, surveying the tensely curved they were only just starting the soup (oxtail). shoulders of his partner, the curls which lay on the collar of his white sweatshirt. Back in the room, fed and full, Doyle cast Three coloured stripes banded the midriff; a venomous glance at his R/T. “If Spuddy as usual Doyle wore brown leather boots calls in with more sweet sympathy—” tapping restlessly. Bodie considered him, “I’ll take it,” Bodie promised in a hurry; lips pursed in thought. he put the television on. There was a match Doyle was unsettled tonight; anxious, angry on, Spurs v. Liverpool in a third-round Cup vibes filling the room. Bodie took another swal- tie, so they settled down to watch. low of his whisky and downed insanity with it.
40 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 “Ray.” vicious streak, Doyle: people like you should “What.” carry a health warning.” “Come here a minute.” Doyle winced, believing this only too Bodie put out a hand. Doyle didn’t turn readily, it being in perfect step with recent his head, stared straight ahead at the TV events. But he carried on, well-armed; his screen. voice dangerously low, “You’ve changed your “Ray. Come over here.” tune. I wasn’t that far gone in the hospital, Doyle turned, his expression bleak, his you know: Murph would’ve laughed him- eyes a cold and wintry grey. Bodie held his self sick if he’d come in a moment earlier— gaze steady, and his outstretched hand. ” Yet it hadn’t been funny: Bodie, his eyes After a moment Doyle tipped back his chin furious, desperate, burying his mouth in and drank off the beaker of whisky in three Doyle’s hair— “Not to mention the little or four gulps. Then he set it aside and came débâcle a few weeks before.” over to the bed, perching his hip beside Bodie heard him out; he had gone quite Bodie on the pillow, looking down into white, his eyes blazed fire. “You were more Bodie’s face, seeing the trouble there, a re- than willing. But don’t worry, mate.” He was flection of his own. by the door, snatching up his leather jacket, Bodie’s frown smoothed out, became in- dragging it on. “S’funny, innit. There I was, stead a smile. His hand slid slowly up trying to work out a future for both of us. Doyle’s arm, then curved around the back And now I find I’m on my own. Well, believe of his neck. Doyle closed his eyes as he al- it or not, that makes it a hell of a lot easier.” lowed himself to be drawn down. Maybe this “Don’t do anything stupid, Bodie,” Doyle is the answer, after all. Bodie’s mouth was warned, watching his partner with nar- gentle, nuzzling at his then settling, his rowed eyes. tongue darting inside Doyle’s lips. Little Bodie was experiencing a curious twinges of desire made up his mind for him: lightheaded sensation, an overpowering re- he turned within the circle of Bodie’s arms, lief: he could go anywhere, do anything, he pressing a palm to Bodie’s shoulder; and was answerable to no-one. He no longer had opened his mouth wholly to Bodie’s kiss. to juggle Ray’s sensibilities with his own, The comfort of it vanished as lust ignited struggle with dreams which refused to co- in a blaze; Doyle’s nerves rang with shock. incide: this was it. Ray, after due consider- Disturbed, he opened his eyes to see Bodie’s ation, had scratched it out. face; unguarded. The vulnerability of it ter- He turned for the door. “That’s sweet, com- rified Doyle unaccountably. He thrust him- ing from you,” he said coolly. “‘Don’t give up self away from Bodie, breathing hard; stood on you’, didn’t you say so touchingly? But the up and flung himself over to the window. trouble is, Ray, you’ve given up on yourself. Putting back the curtains he stared out, And that’s too much for anyone to live with.” hard and angry and unseeing, and gave The door slammed, rocketing a gust of imperfect voice to his thoughts: cool air into the room. “I hate feeling like this,” and it hurt him Bodie would be back, no doubt; he wasn’t savagely, just as he knew it would have hurt one to neglect his duty, not Bodie, and their Bodie. Even so, it only took Bodie a moment. next shift began at six. Doyle gazed out of “Don’t then, Doyle: simple as that,” his the window with eyes that felt stretched voice arrogantly low, mocking, and furious. open; a light was on in the embassy, just “Simple!” Doyle jeered, one foot up on the one, high up, and the streetlights cast a radiator pipe as he rocked angrily and haloed orange glow on the wet pavements. stared out to the night. Rain drizzled down endlessly onto the shin- Bodie was angry too, swinging his feet ing roads. The whole fabric of the house off the bed and getting up in one fluid surge. shook a little, and there was Bodie running “Yes it is, bloody simple: don’t think I’m goin’ crisply down the steps, hands shoved into to be beggin’ to touch you again. You got a his pockets, neck hunched against the rain.
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 41 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 No further thought was necessary; Doyle you spit at me and come up all rosy smiles?” snatched up his jacket and ran, flying down He added more quietly, eyes travelling all the endless stairwell, grabbing open the over Doyle’s battered face, “Look, I know front door and slamming it shut; vaulting you’ve been through a hard time lately. But the rail as his jacket flew out behind him whatever I do is wrong.” like leather wings, landing on the pavement “I know what I want now,” Doyle said, and setting off at a run. desperately. He could still see Bodie, just turning the Bodie stared back unsmilingly. “Yeah. corner. Running full pelt Doyle caught him And then what?” up in no time at all. Bodie had turned once They had something to lose, that was the to see who was running; he faced forward trouble: not much, perhaps, a dodgy friend- again now, walking determinedly, head ship at times. But no-one saw clearer than down against the driving rain. Doyle, just how risky this was going to be. Doyle grabbed at his arm. “Bodie.” Yet still he wanted it. Bodie just looked at him stonily, as if he “It can’t be worse than this,” he said at were a nightmare. Doyle’s heart lurched. last. Neither one thing nor the other… Bodie was his mate, good for a laugh, a “What are you trying to do, Doyle?” Bodie roustabout drinking session; but he had wanted to know, a spark of angry venom another face, one Doyle had sussed out the still there and feeding on itself, “Lead me moment they met: he was dangerous, ag- on again? ’S probably quite funny, is it, from gressive and chancy by nature, out on the where you’re standing?” Doyle made a ges- edge just the way you had to be to be a ture of exasperation, grimacing down at the leader in their underworld, not a victim. It ground. “I know, you want me to say, ‘Let was that face of Bodie Doyle was looking me toss you off, Ray, you’ll feel ever so much into now; the knife in his eyes. better’,” Bodie mimicked, flying out high on After a moment Bodie removed his gaze a line of anger, shocking Doyle and drag- from Doyle’s face and walked off. Doyle fol- ging his gaze up to Bodie again. “Poor duped lowed. “Bodie?” fool, on his knees to you while you grant “Fuck off, Doyle.” some obscene favour, and all in the name He dragged on Bodie’s arm again, all his of therapy? Well, listen to this, mate,” and weight behind it, fully prepared to fight if Doyle saw Bodie’s Adam’s apple move rap- he had to. idly, heard his voice change, “I cried for you. “Let me go,” Bodie ground out, coming to So help me God, it fucking tore me up when a halt. I saw you there, like to die. And you make “Can’t.” out it’s some sort of game. Well, I’ll play, Bodie’s eyes, haunted by devils, met his. Doyle. We’ll go back right now and play: you “Christ, Ray,” he said violently, “how like it a bit wild, don’t you, a bit way out, much more do you expect me to take?” and yeah, I’ll give you that. But don’t ex- Doyle didn’t answer that. A bunch of teen- pect me to walk away laughing when you agers holding beer cans and larking about hit me in the guts afterwards with one of was approaching. Grabbing a handful of your charming little lines: I hate feeling like Doyle’s jacket Bodie pulled him into a dark this, Bodie,” and he laughed savagely, a dan- alley, a yowling cat fleeing out from behind gerous mockery shining in his eyes. “Plenty the dustbins, and manhandled Doyle more where that came from, I reckon; you against the wall, Doyle tense in his hands. seem to have the bottom line in self-pity.” But this was better: anything—anger, a fist Doyle’s head felt heavy with despair; in his guts—was better than that dreadful, Bodie would never, he knew, come closer to indifferent walk away. saying the forbidden than that. As for him- “What am I supposed to do?” Bodie asked self he seemed unable to say anything at with some kind of anguish twisting his face all. Bodie looked at him intensely, and then from the inside. “Stand still for all the filth looked closer.
42 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 “Oh Christ.” And Bodie’s arms went and secret tender nights in the darkened around him, pulled him close, cradled his tent to come. head on one broad shoulder and rubbed his Bodie walked just as he always did, hands hair. “It’s all right, Ray. Don’t. It’s all right.” in his pockets, brisk and sure, head down After a while, Bodie’s hands slipped un- against the drizzle; he looked the same, derneath his clothes and touched him, the showed no outward signs of what he had shock of them cold on his warm skin, but done. They passed the same group of gentle. Shivering, he let himself go with it: drunken teenagers they had seen before: it was the only security there was left for nearing midnight now, a six-pack of beer him in the world. Bodie’s mouth settled inside each of them, louchely aggressive and against his, Bodie’s lips warm, both a com- looking for a fight. Doyle watched Bodie fort to him and a lure: again he felt that handle them, putting down hecklers incredible, desperate diving inside his guts goodhumouredly, calm with the sheer as- and wanted only more. He wrapped his surance of being the best man there: which arms around Bodie and gave himself up to he undoubtedly was, no question of it. The the kiss, making a wild surrender of it, a teenagers went on without trouble, and they challenge. didn’t even need to know, Doyle thought And when Bodie’s ceaseless hands asked wryly, that beneath the armpit of his part- a question, Doyle himself unbuckled his ner reposed a high-calibre high velocity jeans, unzipped himself, desperate to be weapon; the sight of which would disperse touched, and his eyes fell shut at the plea- all that group male conceit at a stroke— sure of it. A few moments more and Bodie “Bodie,” he said urgently. half-laughed, half-sobbed into his ear, some- Bodie looked at him in surprise. “You thing incoherent; then he dropped to his okay?” knees in a stinking alley out beneath the “No.” stars and the cold and brought a little plea- He felt confused, a weird elation, and still sure to Doyle, the first he had tasted for so that excitement so intense it sickened him: long it seemed like the sweetest of his life. coming sweetly, fiercely in Bodie’s mouth Afterward Bodie held him roughly in his had not relaxed him, only fired him further: arms until his breathing slowed and his he felt he would never have enough. slumped legs straightened. Bodie’s own legs “What is it?” Bodie asked him, closer, ached and he scanned right and left with concern in his eyes. “Soaked, aren’t you.” his eyes, looking for passersby. Terraced His curls hung limp and sodden and his houses slanted unrelentingly to the skyline face was wet. “Let’s get back,” he said behind them and in front; here and there a through chattering teeth. light shone out, but if anyone had seen the two dark figures in the narrow alley, Bodie In the room they put no lights on; a doubted they’d have seen what they were streetlamp already cast a glow. Doyle stood doing. Or if they had, who cared? Probably there, provocative, halfway between the bed not the first time. and the bathroom. Doyle’s eyes, open now, were trailing over “Shall I bath? Or stay dirty?” his face hazily. “Come on,” Bodie said, not Bodie surveyed him. “Oh, I think you’ll ungently. “Dunno about you but I’m cold.” do as you are,” he said between clenched They walked quickly; the rain had slowed teeth, and he snatched Doyle, pressing them to a sprinkle and wisps of cloud, silver shin- together hard as his lips slid around to ing in drifting gauze. Doyle felt dazed and Doyle’s ear. “I’m not going to let you sleep shivery, cold to the marrow. But excitement tonight: you know that, don’t you?” threaded through his veins fast and quick: Doyle was sweating, with a twinge of fear. he felt as if he was setting out on some tre- Bodie seemed like a stranger, eyes and teeth mendous adventure, his bearer at his side: gleaming in the half-light: and yet wasn’t all the dangerous romance he could want, that just what he had wanted?
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 43 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 Bodie’s breathing was fast as he held him; all-knowing hands, absolved him of all laying his fingers along Doyle’s cheek he blame, all guilt; and, submerged beneath a turned his mouth up to kiss. His hands slid black sweep of pleasure so intense he could beneath Doyle’s jacket, undid the buttons die for it, a spice of sweet tender pain. of his shirt and slipped inside, the cold When once he opened his eyes it was to shock of his hands sending a shiver rip- see Bodie studying him through eyes that pling across Doyle’s skin. glittered through the blackest of lashes, an “Let’s go to bed,” Doyle managed. unnerving hunger, a curiosity which “No hurry,” Bodie said; his hand cupped burned. After a moment Bodie smiled at Doyle’s neck, his fingers stroking through him. Doyle saw that he was shaking; a tangle of curls as he drew Doyle towards stabbed by swift tenderness, he raised his him again, lapped languidly at his lips, then hand to touch Bodie’s cheek, then his drove his tongue arrogantly into Doyle’s mouth, beautiful still; and held Bodie’s look mouth. So unlike a woman, the strength of as long as he could, before the terrible the arms around him like chains to bind pulses of ecstasy racked him, swept his him and keep him: a delicious tendresse of whole body up and involved it so that even fear ran up Doyle’s spine again as he tasted his fingertips felt it; and then, when all he the alien tongue, his cock springing to life; wanted to do was sleep, Bodie was quick he grabbed Bodie hard, kissing him back with him. He stayed with Bodie until he felt with urgency, with fire in his heart. the brilliance of Bodie’s desire for him ex- “Hey,” Bodie murmured, drawing away, plode, and then he fell asleep. “don’t rush,” and Doyle, drawing in great gulps of air, understood with a thrill which dizzied When he awoke it was again to Bodie’s him: Bodie wanted to stay in charge, even (per- eyes caressing him, lingering on his face. haps) knew all about the darkness in his soul. “What time is it,” Doyle croaked, limp and Head bowed, he began to strip off his dazed with heavy, dreamless sleep. clothes. “You ever done this before, Bodie?” “’S only two. Sssh.” Bodie stroked him, “Of course I have,” Bodie said, lazily up and down, long and luxurious and Doyle amused, eyes trailing over his body, “and relaxed under the touch and the eyes until don’t try pretending you haven’t, corruption’s he no longer felt sleepy at all. written all over you.” His hand traced down He threw back the covers and leaned up Doyle’s naked arm from his shoulder, over on one elbow to look at Bodie, stealing a his narrow strong forearms to the slender swift kiss from his lips. hands releasing his cock from his jeans, the “My turn now, is it?” touch lingering. Bodie laid his fingers atop Bodie gave it scant consideration, before Doyle’s for a moment, and watched him, and lying down, his hands uncurling at his darkly smiled. “But it’s a nice thought.” sides. “Yeah, if that’s what you want.” After a while Bodie threw off his last gar- Doyle considered it for a while longer, while ment and joined Doyle on the bed; his part- his hand searched slowly over Bodie’s body. ner lay there face up, eyes closed. “Come on, Ray,” Bodie said. “You can take “So, Ray,” he murmured in a voice so low me all right, you’re tougher than you look.” and soft it stroked Doyle’s nerves, “you want There was admiration in that, and some- to play the virgin for me, is that right?” thing else. It was so nearly true. Doyle simply said “Yeah, but it worries you, doesn’t it?” nothing, did not stir, lapped by a desire so Doyle guessed. strong he felt weak. Bodie sighed as Doyle’s rubbing fingers “Or is it Sleeping Beauty?” Bodie’s voice found a sensitive spot. “What does?” caressed him quietly, gentle lips grazing the “Losing control.” sensitive opening of his mouth as it quiv- “I reckon it worries everyone. Even you. ered. “Oh yes, Ray, I think I know what you But I—” want, all right.” And Bodie’s tender mouth, Doyle pounced on the pause. “—you what?”
44 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 Bodie opened his eyes and smiled, a pe- ment. “Don’t tell me you don’t think it’s culiarly sweet smile. “—I trust you.” everyone’s lifetime ambition to come on to That and the smile stopped Doyle’s you.” His hands settled onto Doyle’s hips, breath, stabbed his heart. He said: “So you pinched him lightly. do. But, you know, I reckon—it just might Trying to work this through, Doyle battled not be your thing—” He arched an eyebrow his rising temper, his sense that all this was at Bodie, waiting. slipping out of his grasp. He placed a hand Bodie lay there, relaxed, unconcerned. flat on Bodie’s broad chest. “If you wanna “I’d do it for you.” keep it just sex, Bodie… Safer that way. “Yeah,” Doyle said softly, “you would, Keep your options open…” wouldn’t you?” And he moved, into Bodie’s Surprised, Bodie opened his eyes wide; arms with a little arrogance, a little posses- he pursed his lips. Then he sighed, a warm siveness which made Bodie smile. gust Doyle felt like a caress on his naked “We’ve got time,” Doyle said into his ear skin, blowing his fears away. when another kiss was over. “No need to “Ah, no Ray…” A charming, perverse rush things. You said so yourself.” His smile lifted his features into pure, arrogant hands probed Bodie, pressing on the mischief. “I reckon I could make you happy, muscles beneath satin skin, the sharpness all right.” of bone; he had forgotten that Time was And it was suddenly there again: Doyle Bodie’s bête noire. breathed hard, and looked down at Bodie, “Did I?” Bodie said harshly: “Well, that and felt, after all, that they had slipped once was rash of me; now I’d say get on with it, more into that curious intimacy so intense Doyle, if I were you.” Iron arms and legs there was room for nothing else. They had locked around Doyle, pulled him down- felt it before, out on the job together. Bodie wards; Doyle resisted, fighting free, extri- lifted a hand to trace the curls around his cating himself finally and rubbing at his left face, taking infinite care, the drift of his fin- arm where Bodie’s grip had burned him. gers exquisite. “But as to time… remember “Jesus, Bodie,” he spat, glaring. He knelt old Marvell, bloody winged chariot and all. back on his heels, straddling his partner, Shouldn’t hang about too much, old son.” breathing hard and ignoring the painful glow “Gather ye rosebuds?” Doyle asked, of abused skin. Bodie just laughed in his face. amused. Then thinking lewdly about it, “Hurt you, did I?” and his eyes flashed a “Sounds all right.” He ducked his head, mocking glint. “Sorry, mate. Just trying to kissed Bodie’s chest, tasted salt on each get you going.” nipple. Bodie sighed, and pulled up the bed- Doyle’s stare was icy. “What the hell’s got clothes around them: the bed smelt warm into you? I thought you’d be—” and sultry. A nice place to be on a cold No- Suicide. He knew it instantly, would have vember night. Leaning over Bodie’s warm caught it back but Bodie leapt at it like a skin, the yielding of his belly, the sweet pres- trickster snatching bullets out of the air: sure of his thigh: Doyle basked in it. “Did you, Doyle? Should be happy, should “This may be the longest night of our I, now that you’ve so generously, given me lives,” Bodie said into his ear; it jarred Doyle everything? Perhaps I should be on my out of his pleasant driftings, and he was knees to you kissing your bloody arse in tired anyway. gratitude—?” Then he grinned, a slow de- “Certainly feels like it,” he snapped. lightful smile which didn’t touch the burn Bodie’s silence was a speaking one. “Stop of his eyes. “I suppose anything’s possible.” it, Bodie. Just bloody stop it, will you? Don’t Doyle sat back, dragging a hand across be so bloody Camille. Okay, so you’ve got a his lips, a bitter taste in his mouth. “I didn’t touch of the shadows. Not been too ’appy mean that and you know it.” But he lied. lately. Me, neither. But it’s over now and “Oh, don’t give me that, Doyle,” Bodie it’s time to start looking past a funeral with drawled, looking up at him with amuse- full military honours, because I missed my
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 45 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 chance. Geddit?” He paused, looked down around him as he leaned to look out beside deeply into Bodie’s eyes, darker than his Doyle. Bodie smelt freshly of soap and manly own and wilder. “Nobody died, Bodie. No- scents; Doyle could feel the warmth of him body died.” beneath his shirt. “Not for want of tryin’,” Bodie drawled, After a while he said, “Can you think of with that bright edge of cheery insanity, and any reason the Cow wouldn’t want to talk looking at the terrible wound on Doyle’s to us?” chest, tightly stretched and ridging as it “Yeah,” Bodie drawled, and ruffled his healed: he touched it. Doyle let him, clos- hair, but Doyle remained pensive. “Opera- ing his eyes. “Don’t worry, Doyle; keep at it. tion bloody Susie,” he said, remembering. You’ll make it one day.” Bodie looked suddenly alert: “Do you A shining rill of anger trickled through think—?” Then relaxing, “Nah, Doyle, ’s just Doyle; but it ebbed when he saw Bodie’s your guilty conscience.” expression. “Ah, Bodie. What am I gonna “I dunno,” Doyle muttered. do with you, hey?” he murmured, fierce with “Oh all right, all right,” Bodie said love and despair. goodhumouredly. “I’ve always had me faith “Whatever you like,” Bodie said, and there in you, ever since you picked that winner was suddenly so much warmth about him, at Kempton Park.” He knelt down on the so much attraction, that Doyle gave him- floor and pulled out the bag containing their self into it wholly and fled the dark with armoury. him, at least for a while. Doyle’s face twisted with an agonised gri- mace as the cruel memory surfaced. “I never bet on the bloody thing!” Bodie’s smile was smug as he ranged out Bodie whistled in the shower; he seemed their ammunition neatly, sorting it. “Yeah, happy, though reading Bodie was never I did though, didn’t I?” easy. Some people took Bodie as he ap- No need to remind him. “What did you peared to be: a born fighter, somewhat do with the money?” Doyle asked sourly. mindless, a gleeful, malicious sense of “Fifty to one, wannit?” humour like a boy. Not many saw, or cared “Look, Ray, you can’t say I didn’t treat to see, the twisted line of character which you with the proceeds.” centred Bodie: it didn’t matter, anyway. If “Oh yeah, I remember. Nelly’s caf—sau- there was something not quite safe about sage sandwich—cup of tea and a digestive. Bodie it was to CI5’s advantage. Not to men- “Should back your own hunches, sun- tion Bodie’s lover. And the strength Doyle shine. Can’t leave everything to me.” had feared, he found he worshipped. Doyle knelt beside him, helped him pack Doyle was only too happy to follow Bodie it so it was ready for instant use. His eyes way out, right out to the limits… flashed up, met Bodie’s levelly. “I’m backin’ To the end. this one.” He poked his head around the bathroom “Ah, no need to worry,” Bodie said easily. door to find Bodie shaving. Bodie winked “Could fight off an army with this lot.” at him and carried on, tracing the shaver “How about Towser and Macklin?” Doyle around his jawline with concentrated care. suggested, and Bodie made a face. Doyle wandered back and checked with “Now that’s optimistic.” Todman, then with Cowley; the latter, he was told, was out of the office and unable to speak The day passed. Nothing. to him. Doyle wrinkled his brow and frowned By the end of their watch the room be- and looked out of the window. A feeble sun gan to close in on them. was shining this morning. Bodie came into “—and this is the Big Bopper,” Bodie the room behind him and he didn’t turn, only droned into the handset, “signin’ off for to- rested his head against the arm Bodie slung day. After the pips—” Doyle blew the pips
46 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 through his hand— “the airways are yours, tween them, Bodie’s thighs pressing against boys.” He held out the R/T for Doyle’s final, his own: he felt Bodie’s unease, the tensing flourishing pip: then thumbed it off. of his hands behind Doyle’s back, but Bodie “That’s it for another action-packed day. stayed with him, didn’t move. But cheer up, sweetheart: word is they’ll call The smooth shining metal was warm to us off tomorrow night. Before athlete’s foot his touch, the black tunnel stared up at sets in.” He rose and stretched, arms be- them with its one bold eye. Light smacked hind his head. off it smartly; it glinted its arrogance. The “Why does Cowley want Soo anyway?” ultimate symbol of power; anyone would Doyle idly asked. bow to the one who held it. Bodie shrugged. “Bit of third degree, no Bodie’s breath stirred his hair as lips slid questions asked, I suppose.” around to his ear. “Safety on, is it?” “Sprat to catch a mackerel?” Doyle felt for it with his thumb and flicked “Yeah, I reckon.” it off. As he did so he felt his loins flood “Been reading up on the political side,” with obscene pleasure and excitement. Doyle said distantly, “and it looks like Soo’s Bodie’s eyes were wary now, his grasp about the worst choice the Council could on Doyle loose but sure. “Gonna kill us both, have made, from our point of view, that is. is that it?” Very traditionalist. Goes right with the flog- “So you keep on sayin’,” Doyle replied, gings in the street, no truck with these nasty the lick of his tongue around his half-smile corrupting Western ideas, sort of thing. Bet slow. “Might as well be now as ’ang around Cowley’s intending a lecture on the virtues waitin’ for it.” of reform.” “Never could stand in a queue, could you, “Maybe,” Bodie shrugged. “But he’s not Doyle?” Bodie drawled; he was tensed with payin’ Soo’s salary, is he? Only so much alarm, yet he held on. Doyle might be play- you can do to poke about in the way they ing, he might be serious: he had the char- choose to run their country.” acter for it either way. And Bodie did not “Does Cowley know that, though?” care to take a chance on it. “Yeah, I reckon. Ours not to reason why, “’S true,” Doyle said, pressing closer. Doyle.” Bodie could feel how hot he was, his body Hearing the ring of unfinished poetry and damp with sweat beneath the thin shirt. waiting for the inevitable, Doyle regarded him “You’re so damn sure we’re gonna snuff it, grimly. Bodie chuckled despite himself and Bonnie an’ Clyde and all that, why not cheat kissed him lightly, with the kind of presump- and go for it before it comes for us? Why tuous arrogance Doyle had expected to resent. not, Bodie, eh?” He jabbed the gun upwards Instead he found himself holding onto and Bodie recoiled grimly. Bodie and fighting thirstily for more of his “Just bloody watch it, will you, ’cos I’m not kisses; his hands slid around him, under sure a hole in the jaw is the best way to go.” his armpits, and discovered the hard snub “Then what is?” Doyle asked. He pressed weapon, warmed by Bodie’s heat. On a the gun to Bodie’s belly, soft muscle ridg- whim his fingers rubbed it gently, slid over ing to hard as the snub barrel probed. it and held onto it as he thrust himself, “Here?” He trawled it upwards, settled it on hard, against Bodie’s thigh. a soft spot midway between the breastbone, When Bodie released him his eyes were over the pulsing heart. “Or here? Do the job bright with with knowing, even with respect. all right, this range.” His eyes were shin- “Randy old toad you are. Pretty, isn’t it?” ing: no doubts. No fear. In answer Doyle slipped the weapon out One second away from death Bodie acted, of its snug leather holster: it came smoothly, seized the weapon from Doyle and clicked just as it should. His hand curled around it the safety on as he jerked Doyle’s wrist hard, with the ease of familiarity—after all, his and held him harder, and thrust the gun own was identical—and he cradled it be- straight for his genitals, caressing the out-
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 47 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 line of his cock with an arrogant sweep of “A’right?” Doyle asked him, yawning. the weapon: “How about here, since this is They were both rather short on sleep, and where all this is comin’ from?” Tenderly, lin- nights in a single bed were cramped. He lay gering, he eyed the pale pinkness of his back on the pillow and examined Bodie’s partner’s mouth, a part of Doyle which al- face, stark and perfect in the pale purity of ways featured in the occasional sweaty fan- moonshine, his eyes darkened by shadows. tasy he had indulged himself with when long- “You’re beautiful, Ray, you know that?” ing had seemed a far step from reality: gen- Bodie asked, in a strangely detached, al- tly, carefully, he traced the Magnum around most impersonal way. the sensuous curve of the mouth, then Of all things… A gurgle arose in Doyle’s slipped it between lips which parted for it. throat. “You don’t mean that.” “There, Ray,” he said, voice low, “it’s a sub- But the silence, even the intensity of stitute, innit? You suck on this—” he pressed Bodie’s gaze had something disturbing it in a little deeper— “when what you really about it: the dark, melancholy sweep of want is something else. Something that won’t Bodie’s fears became monstrous, filled the blow away the back of your head when it room from within, beating on the window. goes off.” He smiled, a curve of arrogance. “Don’t you want this?” Doyle asked qui- “Not quite, anyway.” And then he snatched etly; he slipped his hands into Bodie’s arm- the gun away, spun it in his hand. pits for the delights of warmth, and silken Doyle tasted metal laced with corbomite hair damp to his touch: “Don’t you, Bodie?” and spat, wiping his mouth on his hand, Bodie stared at him, aloof, almost aristo- glaring at Bodie. Bodie took him in two cratic, an expression Doyle would have hands again, gentle but inexorable, a laughed at outright under any other circum- smooth course set in motion by Doyle’s per- stances. versity and unstoppable now. Doyle knew “Don’t be bloody stupid.” what was coming—indeed, he had courted Because love, when it turned this way, might it—and fear laced his high excitement; his free you from one kind of misery even as it heart knocked in his ears and he felt dizzy, enslaved you with others; but you could never, his head ringing. having once tasted it, spit it away in the wind. “Tastes nasty, eh?” Bodie whispered to “Bodie—I need you,” Doyle said, panick- him. “Let’s see if we can chase it away. ing suddenly, snatching at time the way Something sweeter—” Bodie did. And Bodie smiled at him, a little Doyle heard the rasp of a zipper; closed quirk of his cheek as he touched Doyle’s his eyes trembling; heard the dark whis- hand, lacing their fingers gently. “I know.” per: “Come on, Ray. Kneel for me.” And, The comfort of it was immense; as he blind but sure, he knelt, knowing that Bodie settled down to sleep again, near to Bodie, would not disappoint him. he knew they would be all right. He felt the caress of it over his ear, and The were both of them complex, unpre- the cold kiss of it at his temple. dictable, with stardrive needs born of the He said, muffled: “Keep it there.” path they had taken; but together they “Of course,” Bodie said above him, and would be all right. smiled, and shut his eyes. Wherever he needed to go, Bodie would take him In the night he woke, and found Bodie He fell asleep. propped on one elbow, and watching him again by the moonlight which cast a path Bodie went down for breakfast, ate enor- through unshaded glass. The room was sil- mously, smiled sweetly at the waitress and very, Bodie’s face pale; he met Doyle’s at Fred, and returned to call Cowley. wideopen eyes. Smiled: briefly, then the The old man was unavailable. smile died; he resumed his brooding, self- Bodie shook his head. “I dunno, Doyle. absorbed stare at Doyle’s body. ’S odd.”
48 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 “That’s what I’ve been sayin’, innit?” Doyle thigh, a new and precious intimacy. “Then began with painstaking earnestness, “I’m take me seriously.” beginning to wonder—think we should con- Doyle was quiet for a moment, staring fer with Spud ’n Dud?” down. Then he lifted his eyes and said “Nah, they’ll just take your head off,” lightly, “I know what’s the trouble with you. Bodie disagreed. “Listen, today’s the dead- Don’t suppose you were too thrilled about line, right? Nothing happens today, we clear the prospect of a new partner, just when out, leaving, of course, a tip for the maid.” you’d got me trained.” “Payin’ our bill?” Doyle wondered. Bodie picked up his cue, “Yeah, took long Bodie gave it his best concentration. enough—” but his heart wasn’t in it and he “Nah. She can send it on to Cowley.” continued, his voice dropping, “Listen, Doyle was pushing past him as he spoke; Ray—” and he saw the irritation flash into Bodie tripped him, catching him and tip- Doyle’s eyes, his unwillingness to go over ping him back in his arms, Doyle instantly and over it. Bodie just said: “There’s a little arching perilously, tango-style. Bodie began voice in my head keeps telling me this is to hum something Spanish. “We gotta stop borrowed time, Ray. That’s all.” meeting like this,” Doyle breathed, a Doyle politely retrieved his hand, squat- centimetre away. ting by the bed. He began to stir around in “Yeah: this any better?” Bodie agreed, the ammunition case, sticking clips into his crossing his eyes and leering. pockets, sliding them into the tight back Doyle came up from the impossible posi- pocket of his jeans. Bodie squatted too, tion in a fluid move, and he was chuckling. watching him very carefully, very seriously, Bodie sank onto the bed and watched him. eyes on the rounded curve of his partner’s Bodie did not yet dare to believe in what cheek. He raised his hand to shape a ca- had happened to them: it seemed safest not ress around it, light as a butterfly’s wing. to look it in the eye lest it bang in his face He said, consideringly: “I’d really hate, you and vanish. He was playing it by ear; Ray know, to lose you. So soon.” was difficult. Not easy to understand, dis- Perfectly still, Doyle watched him, his eyes turbingly sexual: not, most definitely, an a stony grey. Bodie smiled at him, puffed easy ride. Keep him guessing, that was the out his cheeks and blew a straggling curl off thing; keep him intrigued: look at the way his forehead, hummed a few bars of ‘Waltz- Ray was looking at him now, interest and ing Matilda’; then breaking off, grinning at appreciation livening his eyes. Bodie blew Doyle’s faraway expression. “Ah, don’t look him a kiss, and smiled. like that, Ray. Like your budgie died and He still had plenty of tricks up his sleeves; you’d just bought a new tin of seed.” oh yes, Ray might surely think he was the “What do you want, Bodie?” Doyle asked last word in brilliant sexual eccentricity, but with a kind of desperation, brought up at Bodie knew better, and more, and worse… last to stare Bodie’s point in the face. “Set Then, when it was all passing, all that ourselves up in a little glass case or some- sexual rush and fury, perhaps they might thing and look out at the world?” Bodie was find out what they really had going for them. silent, his eyes dwelling on Doyle’s face, If they got that far, of course. eyes, mouth. After a moment Doyle remem- He caught Doyle’s hand, and pulled him bered to speak again; he said, more gently, towards him. Noting the darkening shades “We couldn’t live that way, fella. Get bored of mood, Doyle said, “Now what?” in no time, we would.” “Do you believe in premonition, Ray?” “Can’t do without this, is that it?” Angered Bodie asked him, keeping him there with now, Bodie reached out and flipped Doyle’s easy strength, holding onto his hand. gun. “Feel less of a man without it, do you? Looking straight into his eyes, Doyle said, You could always take up killing birds.” “Yes, I suppose I do.” A little stain of colour crept along Doyle’s Bodie nudged his knee against Doyle’s cheekbones: his head lifted and he stared
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 49 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 Bodie in the eye. “Comin’ from you, that’s Doyle shook his head. “Ah, no. See this sweet. You got a licence in triplicate: didn’t want one out, eh? Safe enough ’ere even for you, to take any chances on losin’ it, didja Bodie?” innit? Go and practise your knots or But Bodie had already repented. “Ah somethin’.” And Bodie subsided to think it don’t, Ray. Don’t let’s fight. Okay, if that’s over; their whole lives on the brink of what you want. We’ll go on till Cowley re- change. tires us, gives us our old age pension and It was perhaps ten minutes later when the CI5 gold watch for distinguished ser- Doyle, his hands clasped moodily around a vice in the field.” mug of coffee, spotted a limousine drawing He winked at Doyle and got up, to ease up outside the embassy. cramping thighs. Doyle stayed there a mo- “Bodie.” His hand went out, grabbed his ment longer, thinking. “Waltzin’ Matilda, partner’s sleeve. Matilda, my darlin’,” Bodie sang quietly, “Wha’?” Bodie applied himself to the bin- looking out of the window. oculars. The door of the car opened and out “That’s not the tune,” Doyle said absently. got a tall man, flanked by two more. “Yeh, “Nah, it is,” Bodie said loftily. “Proper, that’s ’im,” Bodie said economically, grab- original tune that is.” bing the R/T and tossing it to Doyle, who Doyle looked up at him, momentarily di- was checking his gun, swift and obsessive, verted. “You’re up the chute, Bodie. It goes stuffing it inside his jacket: “Better wake like this.” And he la-laed unselfconsciously. up the Spud. This is it mate.” Bodie made a face. “Too bloody Rolf Har- The fire-escape was a rickety iron con- ris, mate. This is the original. As learnt in traption. They flew down it five steps at a the Ozzie outback, in person.” And he re- time, Bodie addressing his R/T as he ran: sumed his performance. “How long?” Matilda, my darling. A strange sweet “One minute,” the R/T said. “Get to it, sinking filled Doyle’s belly, as he got up. He laddo, meet you there.” was thinking something quite ridiculous: Action. Adrenalin pumped through that to be Bodie’s darling, to have the other Doyle’s veins, giving him a dizzying rush of man lay claim to him with just that endear- fear and excitement; he steadied, as he al- ment, might just be his own personal price. ways did, tasted the extra drive of it, the edge. A price above nations, above rubies; above The very air seemed stronger, keener around pride itself. him, he felt alive and ready to go. This was “Bodie.” He sprang up and over to where more like it. Swiftly and unobtrusively he his partner leaned forward, hands on the slipped around the rear of the small white sill. “Just had a thought.” building, gun drawn, dragging on a black Bodie mimed shock, arrest, disbelief. “Come hood—absolute anonymity, that was in the here.” His hand settled on Doyle’s forehead. ground rules, but he momentarily hated it; “Take it easy now Ray, still comin’ is it?” and then he forgot it. Bodie, ex-Para, looked “How about this. Ask the Cow to be taken at home in his as he scudded around the off Active. Too old, lost our bottle, got reli- side of the building at the identical moment gion, whatever. Go into admin.—who knows, to Doyle; he gestured to indicate that Todman you might end up in Cowley’s spot, he’s gotta and Flaherty were in position at the front— die some time, ’asn’t he? Or on the trainin’ counting one, two, three— side of things. You know—here’s the shooter, Doyle and Bodie charged the door, run- make-a-will-and-do-it-quick-sort of thing.” ning, flying kick bashing it down. Immedi- Bodie stared at him, unsure how to take ately the piercing whine of an alarm sounded; this. “You serious?” Doyle thought about it, they ignored it. If this was going to work at lip caught between teeth, then he nodded. all it had to be fast: should be, Christ, they’d “You’d do that?” planned it often enough, exactly this strike- “Yeah, I reckon.” and-run scenario. They arrived in a pillared “Right now?” Bodie said. hall: empty. Looking up they could see a gal-
50 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 leried landing with two, three doors opening “Only sensible,” Doyle added, catlike and onto it, very dangerous, had to watch it all watchful as he crouched on the floor. “He the time. Keeping his eyes stretched wide won’t hesitate, you know, ’e got out of bed Bodie motioned Doyle in front of him, up the the wrong side.” stairs, covering every angle except the rear With a gesture to his companions, Soo which was the job of their colleagues, no raised his hands. With a mutter, they chance to check, just trust. dropped their guns. Doyle was right out there in the bloody Doyle darted in to pick them up. “Now front line, oh god the thoughtless courage you come nice an’ quietly,” he said to Soo, of him. The alarm wailed mournfully. Doyle “No-one’ll get hurt. Someone just wants a reached the top of the stairs. And at that little chat with you, thass all.” moment a man burst out of one of the doors “Maybe a cup of tea if you’re lucky,” Bodie and centred the gun he held on Doyle. chimed in poshly. Instantly Bodie killed him, steadying the Doyle pursed his lips, sucked in his gun carefully on his other hand: nerves did cheeks. “Ooh, that’s pushin’ it a bit. Thurs- not affect him at all as he shot, not until he day, innit?” And they were off, clattering realised, as the man cartwheeled over the down the stairs, Soo in front of them, cheer- banister and thudded to the floor, just how ful in their satisfaction that the job had gone close Doyle had come. His heart thudding off well, no bloodshed, Mission (stage one) and his guts diving Bodie was up the last Accomplished. four stairs in a flash, ejecting spent car- No sign of Spud and Dud. Bodie thrust tridges and slipping in others. “Cover me,” Soo none too gently into the rear of the Capri he said tersely. “I’m goin’ in.” parked exactly where their fellow agents had Doyle spat and wiped his mouth. “The promised; the man was wearing a dark over- fuck you are.” They had never, not since coat, had a certain nobility to his darkeyed the first days of training, played it that way. looks. He acquiesced to Bodie’s manhan- Doyle, faster and smaller, had always gone dling with a kind of patience; it occurred to in first, ably and expertly covered by his Bodie that almost certainly he thought he partner, the better long-range shot. was being taken to his execution. So he In that second, looking into Doyle’s dead, winked at him and gave a grin. “Nothing to cold eyes, Bodie knew and understood that worry about. Like ’e said, just a talk.” there were harder ways of losing Doyle than “I don’t spik your language,” Amun Soo seeing him fall. said coldly. Eyes hard and bleak, he drew up his gun, “This language—? Universal,” Doyle told gestured Doyle on his way. him, looking in the rear mirror, and they Soo was there, in the first room, with the were off, gunning away from the kerb with two men he had entered the building with. a terrible screech of tyres. Bodie winced Both had guns drawn, both loosed off shots delicately. Thank god it wasn’t his car! as Doyle burst in yelling and diving— Ten yards down the road was a “Freeze!” blueshirted bobby. Doyle whistled, uncouth The shots whined past and smacked into as ever. “Close, that.” the doorjamb, over the head of the man roll- “Nah, had a story ready,” Bodie said un- ing. Then there was Bodie, there behind perturbed, as if explaining away the abduc- him, the large Uzi up and ready. tion of a diplomat from the sacred ground For a moment no-one moved. of an embassy with a submachine gun dan- A smile crossed Bodie’s lips. The worst gling form your arm was of small matter to was over: Doyle was alive, sitting up on the a talented liar. floor. “Come on, drop ’em. You can’t argue Doyle had the R/T out, driving with one with this, can you?” And he lifted the black hand on the wheel, using a prearranged heavy machine-gun, ready, despite the code: “Baby’s in the cradle. On our way to touch of humour to fire; resolute. the nursery. ETA ten minutes.”
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 51 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 “Message received and understood, Night- Cowley never killed anyone. Came pretty hawk.” damn close at times, mind you. But that Doyle chucked the handset over the back was only if you worked for him. This fella’d of the seat to Bodie. “Think we’ll get our be back home by teatime, with a good story merit awards for this?” to tell—ABDUCTED by aliens! TAKEN in a “Nope,” Bodie said gloomily, “more likely strange craft! INTERROGATED by a small a fulltime post in this department. Some- green Scot with a limp!— times it doesn’t pay to be too good, y’know.” Doyle’s voice cut into his lightening As he spoke he spotted a brown van, which thoughts: “Ten minutes if we’re lucky. Fif- he had also spotted in the last street. teen if there’s bloody lights on the Finniston Doyle was looking in the rear mirror. Road again.” “There’s still a chance.” “Who are you?” Soo asked suddenly; his “You spotted it,” Bodie said in admiration. dark eyes, open and big as pansies, had “They don’t call you Nighthawk for nothing. never left Bodie’s face. Would you care for a little lie down?” This Bodie looked down at him, saw the curl last politely, to Soo: a flash of blue eyes and of his nostrils, the tint of his skin brushed he had pressed the man, gently enough, to by a brighter sun than ever shone here. the seat and covered him with a rug. “Nobody,” he echoed softly. “Me and “Been with us since we started,” Doyle him—nobody at all.” And Amun Soo met said on a note of surprise; because no-one his eyes for a moment in perfect under- should have got away from the Embassy in standing, for in the context of duty, he too time to follow them, that was what Flaherty was nobody; a cypher to be moved by his and Todman were there for. Speaking of country at will. whom— “I suppose it’s not our little friends, Bodie was to remember this afterwards, is it? You know how they love a party.” when it became important to him to believe “They got a Capri, haven’t they? Standard that the man understood, would not blame issue, innit?” Bodie for what happened; but instead what “Except 6.2. He got the 2CV.” lingered to haunt him was a sense of his “Yeh, but that’s because he told Our own treachery. Quite unjustified. He no Leader he was a cognac man.” more than any of them knew what lay ahead Doyle swerved down a side street with- as they travelled along the wide London out signalling then doubled back around road, eyes shaded against the dazzle of the the square. When the silver nose of the low November sun. Capri slipped out onto the road again, they The turned off the bypass at last, took could see the brown rear of the van a hun- narrow streets again. Doyle was giving the dred yards in front of them. insect-dotted windscreen a blast with anti- “That’s beautiful, mate,” Bodie said, im- freeze, the wipers swishing this way and pressed. A dark head could be seen poking that; he was driving fast but not urgently. out of the van’s rear window. “Look—” Bodie Postbox, petshop, fish and chippie. Into an pulled Soo’s head up for a brief look— “That industrial backwater, bodyshops littered a friend of yours, sunshine?” He patted the with rusting tools. And here was the par- head back down again, onto his lap. ticular graveyard of abandoned vehicles The man looked up at him, cool and im- they sought; Doyle turned in. As he did so, passive. He had a certain aristocracy to his Bodie’s “Wait a minute!” clashed with his looks; Bodie was fleetingly reminded of Per- own curse: “Christ, Bodie! That’s not—” sian nobility, flying carpets and forty Turning in behind them was the little thieves. “I have no friends in this country.” brown van. “I know the feeling,” Bodie said with a “If there’s anything you want to tell us,” grimace. Poor bugger, doesn’t look like a ter- Doyle said. rorist. Probably got a photo of his kids in his “—now might be a good time,” Bodie pocket. “How long, Ray?” Still, an hour with added, brighteyed. He was stashing ammo
52 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 into a belt, sorting it fast and furious. But This seemed, at present, just about as Soo looked merely blank. dangerous as anything they had ever done. “Was ’e behind?” Doyle said urgently, Bodie was deeply troubled, searching his swinging their car along a covering line of mind for something, anything, which would vehicles, bumping up and down on the get them out of here alive; but right now he rough terrain. just had this grim feeling they’d get no tak- “No, no chance,” Bodie said calmly. “No ers at all on life insurance. Pity. Sorry, Auntie way both of us could have missed him.” Sheila. Never mind. You’ll like me African “Then someone somewhere’s a bit leaky.” tusk thing. “Too many bloody windows,” he He pulled the car to a scorching halt be- muttered, savagely thrusting the butt of his hind the disused garage offices. “Where the gun through the glass, recovering it and hell is the old man?” He pulled out his gun, sighting it in through the hole: little brown checked it speedily. spiders, scuttling. “We’re going to get sur- Bodie gave him a slow smile beneath the burn rounded in here, Doyle.” of his eyes. “How does ‘not here’ sound to you?” Doyle snorted. “Thanks, Bodie. I hadn’t “Very likely,” Doyle said grimly, and noticed that.” He was seething, breathing thumped his hand onto the dashboard: quite hard: but he forced himself to slow “Damnit! You beginning to get the feeling down, calm his nerves, set himself straight. we’ve been set up?” “I don’t like this. There’s something wrong.” “Or strung up.” Bodie glanced over at the “Maybe we should just make our excuses van, a hundred yards away, from which two, and leave?” three—too bloody many—brown figures “So where are Spud an’ bloody Dud when were emerging. we need ’em?” Doyle cast him a swift glance, stuffing his Bodie didn’t answer that. He was remem- pockets full of bullets, clips, the lot. “I take bering Todman, taking up a position at the it all back, 3.7, you’re a bloody seer. You can front of the building. And a whisk of flying pick the Kempton Park runner next time.” blond hair as his partner circled the corner “Never works on anything good,” Bodie beyond. said glumly. Time was running out on them. And then—nothing. They dragged Soo out of the car and dashed “Yeah, I think we should be tryin’ to make around the back into the office. They could a run for it,” Doyle decreed, watching like a see, all around them, little brown-overalled hawk for the first move, for any move at all. men like crabs scuttling for cover, finding “That’s brilliant, mate. Trouble is, the Old vantage points— Man wanted us here—” “Safe House,” Doyle said viciously. He “Old Man isn’t here himself. And I dropped to one knee behind a window, sighted thought he was the Star Guest.” his gun through it, grim and set and in a rage. “—other trouble is, I’ve got this feelin’ that “These—are they your friends?” Soo asked, now we’re ’ere, they may just fancy a quick from where he lay on the floor, pushed there game before we leave,” Bodie concluded with by Bodie and snarled at to stay. gritty fatalism. “Nope. Are they yours?” Bodie asked Actually, something was happening, but grimly, busy. not the quick explosive start they were “No.” tensed for. A man with a megaphone was “Party’s not going to be much fun then, approaching the ramshackle building, one is it?” Bodie said with sweet, black temper, arm raised. blue eyes gleaming and watchful, very very “That’s brave,” Bodie muttered, raising watchful as they darted all around, front, his rifle an inch, “I wouldn’t like his job.” back, sides, front. “What makes you think we haven’t got “Where the hell is Cowley?” Doyle exploded it?” Doyle growled; his mind was working as they crawled onto the floor and examined overtime on things he planned to say to the empty room for vantage points. Cowley when they got back.
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 53 NOVEMBER £3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 “YOU KNOW WHAT WE’RE HERE FOR,” with noise. There was so much blood and boomed out the megaphone. “LEAVE IT AND confusion that Doyle could not decide, crawl- GO AND THERE’LL BE NO TROUBLE.” ing hazily about the floor some time later, Bodie looked down at Soo, and back up whether or not Bodie was dead; he was si- at Doyle. Soo made no pleas for his life, did lent, marble-white, and his right hand ap- not beg them to stay. “He doesn’t look like peared to be in bloody tatters. It didn’t seem a terrorist, does ’e?” Bodie said softly, to to matter a great deal, since Doyle knew it his partner, and Doyle just shook his head, was only a matter of time before they came crouching on his haunches, whipcord in here and finished everyone off, himself thighs straining his tight and faded jeans. included; he couldn’t shoot any more, too “I think we should take it back where we damn tired, something wrong in his chest. found it.” Too many. Sorry, Bodie. He laid his head “Flying carpet?” Bodie suggested sarcas- down next to the dark one of his mate. Gave tically, because clearly they wouldn’t even it our best shot. get as far as the road. Only he had the feeling it had all been “In the Embassy, I was safe,” Soo said. bloody futile. “Many people worked hard to bring me there, where I might be protected. And you have undone all that.” He said it with no particular reproach, still calm, merely lay- They met in the corridor outside Cowley’s ing the facts before them. office. It had been a long time, and each “Who’s after you?” Doyle demanded, hard found the changes in the other unsettling, and direct. but then there were bound to be changes. Soo shrugged. “It could be many people…in Bodie looked fit but for the sling and ban- my position, one has many enemies. Particu- dage he wore on his right hand; he was thin- larly now, when the election is due.” ner, grimmer. Doyle was quiet: still thin, still “We’ve got to get him back there,” Doyle greyish. He would pick up, no doubt, in said. “It’s the only way to get a chance—” warmer weather. “Oh brilliant, Doyle,” Bodie snapped, get- By now, some three weeks after the ting edgy. “I’ll just pop out and explain then, trouble, they had each of them pieced it all shall I?” Doyle was on the R/T now, pick- together; and nothing they had learned pre- ing up a crackle of static; he flipped it, disposed them fondly towards Cowley. And banged it. “Still no back-up.” so the interview began. “Trouble,” Bodie muttered; all of this had “You wanted him dead,” Doyle accused, an increasingly nasty look to it, like something eyes hard and stony, “so you set him up. recovered from the back of the fridge. The man Someone else kills him, and you come out with the megaphone was retreating, at a run; of it smelling of roses.” obviously they had decided enough lip service Cowley eyed his surly operative coldly. had been paid to negotiation. “Well, if you’re “The British Government wanted him dead, ready, mate, I think they are.” Doyle, and this way we’ve avoided any hint And as the bangs and blasts began, Doyle of an international incident. You know quite said to Bodie: “You were right, you know. well if you’ve read the papers that any num- Let’s open a cafe together,” but he was never ber of his own countrymen were out for his sure if Bodie had heard him, because by life before the election takes place. Now the then they were in the thick of it. party he represents will be, in all likelihood, overthrown and replaced by one—less ex- Soo died very early on, struck quickly and treme in its views. I tell you, the world’s a cleanly by a bullet in the head. The two CI5 safer place today without him in it.” men lasted quite a long time, scooping and “Who’s to judge that?” Doyle said, quiet, pressing and aiming and firing, firing; the but in his eyes were depths of violence. air was blue and the skies seemed to ring Cowley said: “I did, Doyle. I judged that.”
54 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 SEBASTIAN £3£3£3 NOVEMBER £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 “Funny that,” Bodie said, stirring from Majesty’s Government who paid their salaries where he leaned against the wall. “Then why and required of them to ask no questions even do I feel as if his death’s on my conscience?” in the dirtiest wars: if they had been knocked “And mine.” Doyle’s gaze never left Cowley about a little in the process, so what? They for an instant. had done their job. Their wages were safe. “Not only that,” Bodie said lightly, “but Bodie met his eyes then, and a chill swept his death came rather expensive, wouldn’t across Doyle’s skin, starting at his cheeks you say?” The fingers of his one good hand and travelling quickly downwards so that tapped unceasingly on the wall. “At the price he felt drenched with cold all through. “Who of Todman, for example. And nearly at the knows?” Bodie shrugged: two words to dis- price of Doyle and me, as well.” miss his livelihood, his life. “You’ve forgotten something, Bodie,” Doyle opened his mouth to speak, but Doyle said. “We’re expendable. In black and could not. Bodie was turning, about to go white on our contracts, that is.” on his way; a separate entity now, encased Cowley made a noise, an exclamation. He in walls of grey solitude. Doyle could pushed his chair away from the desk and scarcely believe that once they had— stood up, a small, irascible man who still Shared something intolerably precious. had the power to chill his operatives with a Better to drift apart, now, like this, than go glance, a word—even these two. He met the way they had been falling. their eyes unflinchingly, angry in his own Not because what they had was not right. “Ach, Doyle. You and Bright-Eyes strong enough. there were meant to dump Soo and run. “Shall I come?” he heard himself ask, a No-one said you had to hang around doing last shot in the dark. your Western Heroes act.” But because it was, as Bodie had seen, “Yeh, but we wouldn’t have,” Bodie burst too strong by far for either of them to sur- out, stung, “if we’d had back-up to cover us vive the breaking of it. out, would we?” Bodie was looking at him brusquely, ice That silenced them all for a moment, for in his eyes. “No, don’t bother.” these two, bruised and hurt and altered as Better this way. He had seen Spud: fero- they were, had at least come back. Todman ciously dryeyed, burning up within. It was hadn’t been so lucky. Killed by some not comfortable to be near him. bodyguard’s bullet before he ever left the He watched Bodie go on his way. Something Embassy, his term of duty with George was breaking inside him, but it was all for the Cowley finished before its time. best. Darkness was encroaching on the street; And theirs? it was November, the evenings started early. Cowley did not mention the future. Nor Soon it would be Christmas, buses packed with did they. shoppers, Santa everywhere you looked. He In the circumstances, an astonishing watched every step of Bodie’s, but Bodie did omission. not get very far along the pavement, his pace faltering, then bringing him to a halt. Bodie turned right outside the grey anony- He turned around, and faced Doyle. “Ray?” mous building which housed CI5, head down, Doyle could not answer, his throat trudging along. Doyle kept up with him. choked. “Where you going?” “Come with me, will you?” Bodie asked, “Physio,” Bodie said. He did not look at almost diffidently, and Doyle nodded. Wher- Doyle. ever they had to go— Doyle asked because he had to: “You gonna They would to together. be able to shoot with that thing?” Bodie’s hand He began to run. was a mess, shattered horrifically in crossfire: ironic. They had delivered Soo to his execu- tion, as per the (hush-hush) behest of Her September 1991
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 55 £3£3£3 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 BREAKING AND ENTERING Three pieces of fun and fluff for your consumption. ‘A Touch of English’ is another addition to our ongoing sports-themed series. ‘Flight of Fancy’ owes its inspiration to a particular two-year old, a particular recent long flight to Los Angeles, and a very particular sunbeam of a steward. (Bodie would defi- nitely have liked him!) And finally, we present the story affectionately referred to as ‘the laundry list’. Challenge the wee Scot to create a tale from that most mundane of objcts and she can’t resist putting fingers to keyboard and whacking away.
56 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 EMMA SCOT £3£3£3 A TOUCH OF ENGLISH £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 A TOUCH OF ENGLISH EMMA SCOT
ONLY D OYLE would come to a stately home in I did bring some extra for you. That suit, for his patched jeans, his scruffy olive green t- starters.” shirt with the salad cream stain on it and his “Yeh, and I’ll bet I get the rental bill for it as oldest trainers. In his defence, it would only well.” be fair to add that he had been given the Bodie wasn’t going to tell him all about the grand total of three minutes and forty-five rental bill—definitely not the size of said bill— seconds warning that he was going to be until later. Much later. Perhaps when Doyle spending the next four days not on leave, as was asleep, for instance. he was supposed to be, but mingling with the “So,” Doyle muttered as he sat down beside guests at one of the nation’s finest homes. Bodie on something that was so uncomfort- He’d had a choice: spend his less than four able that it had to be an antique and worth a minutes getting changed and leave his home fortune, otherwise it would have been chucked without so much as a toothbrush, or go as he out years before, “which ones are the druggies was and actually have time to pack. then?” Glancing up as his partner walked into the “That’s for them to know and us to find out. billiards room, Bodie was extremely glad that Anyway, Cowley says he doesn’t really expect Ray had decided to pack. Bodie was quite any action for another thirty-six hours…” He magnificent—and knew it!—in his dinner paused, because this was where his partner jacket and fine shirt. But Doyle—Doyle was would expect him to pause, allowing Doyle turning heads, male and female alike, ev- his customary explosion. erything about him an intriguing, addictive Doyle, however, was unnervingly quiet. contrast. Black suit, pristine shirt, black tie. “So, ehm, our George said he wanted us in Soft halo of curls, soft curve of mouth—and place in plenty of time so that the natives had hard, hard set of the eyes. Hurriedly, Bodie a chance to get used to your ugly mug and my looked away, hoping against hope, not to perfection…” mention common sense, that his partner Still nothing. Curiouser and curiouser hadn’t seen him. indeed. “Hello, Bodie,” Doyle said, after he had “And then we can report to him as soon as crossed the several yards of Persian carpet we—Ray, are you listening to me?” and negotiated his way between over-dressed Not a mutter was uttered. guests and over-blown Tiffany lamps, “fancy “Obviously hanging on to my every word, meeting you here.” you are. Yoo-hoo, Raaay!” “Listen, Ray,” Bodie started, deflecting the “Bodie,” Doyle asked him, as if he had not sarcasm before it had a chance to entrench the faintest idea that Bodie had been waving itself, “it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know Cen- a hand in front of his face, “what the hell are tral hadn’t rung you—” they playing at?” “And when did Central last bother to notify Bodie looked up, saw two witless wonders both of us separately, eh?” having some kind of heated discussion in the “Uhmm,” Bodie did his Stan Laurel, “two corner. “How the hell should I know what weeks after we were teamed?” they’re going on about?” “Just about.” “You what? No, not them, you stupid git. “Well, at least you had a chance to grab Them, over there, at the billiards table. What some of your things, and you can’t forget that are they playing at?”
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 57 A TOUCH OF ENGLISH £3£3£3 EMMA SCOT £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3
“Oh, them,” Bodie said knowingly, frown- “And what would that be, Bodie?” ing at the table trying to work out what the “You never pay any attention to the old hell they actually were playing at. “That?” He man anyway.” took some time to gaze raptly to make it look “There’s a first time for everything.” as if he were engrossed in the game and not “And that’s what I’m trying to tell you! You just playing for time. “Oh, that’s one of the and me, first time—” variations of the game. You know. Pool.” Then “You’re about fourteen years too late for it clicked, and he remembered how he’d spent that one, Bodie.” some of his hours in his various regiments, Bodie ran his thumb down the satin trim misspending several weeks with a few friendly of Doyle’s trousers, watching with interest American servicemen. “That’s nine-ball.” how that made Doyle’s eyes narrow and his “Nine ball what?” breath quicken. He was determined that he Bodie shrugged, trying to sort out some of wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass them the details that had been hurled at him by by: it wasn’t exactly every week that he got to teasing mates. “Nine ball pool, or some people spend an entire Bank Holiday weekend with call it nine ball billiards. Not that it makes Doyle in such high-class, shared-room luxury. much difference, of course.” Not that he was “Started late, did you? I mean, if it’s only been going to admit that it might, because he had fourteen years, and you being so much older no idea whatsoever if it made a difference or than me, too…” not. “I’m not telling you, Bodie. Subject closed, “Looks like it’d be great fun.” taboo and verboten.” Bodie looked at Doyle then, wondering if “There’s no need to be so embarrassed his mate were feeling all right. “You? You about being so old before you had sex for the think that looks like fun? But I remember— first time—” ” “That was my first time with a fella.” He “That’s what I said about Pot Black on the stopped dead, drew Bodie a dirty look and telly. This is different. Don’t have all those said, “Nice try. But I’m not telling you.” stupid red balls for starters.” “I’ll tell you mine?” “And how,” Bodie whispered into a less “Now let me see if I remember this right. I than shell-like, “do you know what state their can take my pick from your teacher, your balls are in?” next-door neighbour’s son, the captain of the “Don’t you ever give up, Bodie? I’ve said no merchant ship you ran away on, the bloke and I mean no.” who came round to re-do the roof on your “What you said, my lovely lad, was ‘I don’t dad’s house—” think it’s a good idea because we’re partners.’ “All right, all right, so I tried to make a No didn’t enter into it.” couple of stakeouts interesting.” “Didn’t it? Well, it’s the only thing going to “Interesting? You were trying to make them be doing any entering round here, I’ll tell you into grope sessions. Anyway, sitting here that for nothing, mate.” listening to you is not getting the job done. I’m “Come on, Ray, don’t be such a spoil-sport. going to mingle, see what I can pick up.” You want me,” he stopped for a second to nod “Hope it’s the clap,” Bodie muttered, under a polite hello to the witless wonders who had his breath, and smiled sweetly at the blue- finished their argument and were now de- rinsed old lady who had just taken Doyle’s parting arm in boneless arm, “and I want you. seat at such an inopportune moment. “’Scuse What could be simpler than that?” me,” he said, sidling off and away after his “How about not working together? Don’t partner, leaving an old lady to some rather you remember the Cow’s last lecture—all juicy speculations about handsome young four hundred and seventeen times of it?” men who flirted with each other and then Bodie groaned. “No involvement.” called VD down upon the other for leaving. “Exactly.” Still, he’d best start mingling himself. Not “Only one problem with that excuse, Ray.” that he was thinking about doing the job—it
58 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 EMMA SCOT £3£3£3 A TOUCH OF ENGLISH £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 was Doyle he wanted to do—but if he did decided Bodie, of course, that he was going to some work now, saw what he could come up be positively scintillating. with, then he’d have an excuse for retiring “Toss?” early to bed. Thoughts on carnal overdrive, it took Bodie A very pleasant prospect, when he stopped a second to realise that Trevhead wasn’t to think about, which he did fairly often, offering him a wank, but a coin to toss for being of a very libidinous bent—in more ways heads or tails. Which thought immediately than one. The crowd was slowly diminishing, brought Doyle to mind, head or tail—Bodie filtering down into the men who liked to play wasn’t fussy. with long hard sticks and smooth round balls “Hello? Anyone in there?” and Trevvie was and those who liked to watch them do it. snorting at his own brilliant humour. Bodie Bodie, needless to say, was one of the people decided that if no-one was smuggling drugs who stayed. He listened in to sundry con- into this set, then he’d start, just to give them versations as he wandered round the room, an excuse for being such idiots. but the only drugs he heard mentioned were “Heads,” he said, remembering to be nice. ones that apparently worked wonders on “And tails it is! I get to break,” Trevor said. dogs with worms. Not quite what Bodie was Hopefully your neck, Bodie thought. interested in. He meandered over to the walls Cue poised, face screwed up in concen- with their racks upon racks of cues, tidy rows tration, ready to shoot, and then someone of chalk lined up on the shelf and someone poked their head round the door, announced, came up behind him. “Freda!”, at which mysterious summons most “Do you play? Fancy a game?” of the room—and none of them called Freda— Bodie turned round, took one look at the departed, leaving Bodie, Doyle, Doyle’s blonde, exceedingly pretty boy, stifled a laugh and her two friends and a matched set of old said, “Only if there’s some money at stake to ladies dozing in the corner. make it interesting.” “Oh, what a shame, Higgins, you shan’t go “Oh, brilliant, absolutely brilliant! I’m to the ball.” Trevor, but everyone calls me Trevvie or Bodie curtseyed sweetly and then made a Trevhead, something of that nature and how very rude gesture indeed with his cue. about twenty pounds to start, an extra fiver “I was looking forward to that,” he said, for every ball pocketed on the break?” pouting very nicely. It took half a second, but Bodie sorted the “I suppose you think that’s a subtle hint?” tangled spaghetti of words out and agreed, “No, I thought that was a fairly direct looking out over Trevor’s shoulder to grin at question. Oh, go on, Ray, play with me.” And Doyle, sultrily. there was enough innuendo in that to sink Trevor whirled around, saw where Bodie the Bismarck. had been looking and was fortunately dim Doyle gave him an old-fashioned look, but enough to think it was the horsey blonde that came over to take Trevor’s abandoned cue, had attracted Bodie. “Oh, shouldn’t waste my whispering as he passed Bodie, “D’you think time with her, she’s taken. By my elder we should be finding out what this Freda is? brother actually, Jeffrey, or Jeffers, but we Could be the drugs.” don’t call him that to his face, of course, he’d “Pull the other one, Doyle, you just don’t have a fit if we did, he’s always been rather a want me to score one over you.” pretentious shit, actually, so we always call And there was a smirk to go with that one him Marquis—Sadey for short!” as well. This last speech had carried them across Doyle, ever the gentleman—only when it the room and to the billiard table, where the meant he could score points, of course— previous had left the table ready for play and ignored that with a lofty and superior snort. Doyle was chatting to a blonde—not the He went back round to his side of the table, horsey one, but one who would go down a flirting outrageously with the blonde, but treat at the Miss World competition—which purely for Bodie’s benefit. It was the perverse
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 59 A TOUCH OF ENGLISH £3£3£3 EMMA SCOT £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3
streak in him: he enjoyed seeing Bodie cross- bringing the cue ball round to kiss the number eyed with lust. three ball and drop it down.” “My turn to break the balls?” he queried Doyle waited until precisely the right mo- with an air of tangible innocence. ment. “I’m surprised your balls haven’t It wasn’t his innocence that Bodie wanted dropped yet.” to touch. “You’ve been doing that for weeks, That was when Bodie left the first large why stop now?” chalk mark on the green felt. “Why indeed?” Doyle grinned at him, street He turned round, missing Doyle only be- arab in fancy clothes and prick-tease cause that young man did a quick two-step extraordinaire. One swift draw back of his out of the way. Then it was Bodie’s turn to arm, and crack, the balls careened all over wait until precisely the right moment, when the table in a riot of clacking colour. “Bodie, Doyle was bent over the table, arse in the air, I’ve just thought of something. Am I supposed cue on the table. “At least I’ve got you perfectly to pocket the balls at this stage?” positioned now.” “Absolutely, Ray,” Bodie breathed, finger- Large chalk mark number two. And by ing his own balls that he wouldn’t half mind sheer fluke, the number four ball dropped out Doyle pocketing for him: he had a slit cut in of sight. the pocket of these trousers precisely for such Bodie, for the life of him, couldn’t remember an activity. Useful, really, if you had a willing what happened when the balls were pocketed friend. He looked, not entirely surprisingly, at out of order. He said, hurriedly to hide his Doyle. ignorance, “You lose a point for that. And it’s “You’re supposed to pocket as many of my turn now.” your balls as you can—although most blokes Playgirl would have been delighted by the don’t get more than two at a time—then you way he managed to turn so simple a manœuver work your stick through them in numerical into so ogle-some a spectacle. Doyle was, of order, from smallest all the way up to biggest.” course, completely unmoved. Completely, that “Is that a fact?” Doyle said, again with the is, bar a few recalcitrant inches that knew wide-eyed innocence that wouldn’t have fooled what they wanted even if they were attached a blind gnat. “And only two at a time? Oh, I am to a complete wally. surprised. Okay, so I’ve pocketed two— “Oh, look,” Bodie said, pointing at the lie of number two, Bodie, so get that look off your the table, “the balls are open. I might even be face. Right, number three up next. In the able to run them.” bottom pocket, I think.” “Which means that I’d get to rack them, “Awkward position, that,” Bodie mur- doesn’t it, Bodie?” mured. “Might have to screw under it,” he Bodie took the hint, slowly working his way added, wickedly, “to get it in the hole. round the table, sinking the number three, Doyle ignored him, although he missed the the number five and getting a bead on the ball by a mile. number six. He kept up a running com- “Oh, what a shame, you’re off your stroke, mentary the entire time. “Learned this game Ray. If you want, I could give you some from some Yanks I was barracksed with. One lessons later?” of them claimed his dad was the 1975 winner “And as I’ve already said,” Doyle retorted of the Brunswick championship—the open- with all the saccharine he could muster, “the ing year, that was, the nine ball champion- answer is no.” ship.” That last one was too good to resist. “I “I shall leave you to struggle to find your tried to get in, but they wouldn’t let me play. stroke yourself then, shall I?” I only had two balls.” “You just do that, Bodie,” and he stepped “You won’t have any if you don’t shut up, aside as Bodie came round to take the shot Bodie.” himself. “Then I’d match you, wouldn’t I?” “I think I’ll pocket your ball—” a pause for That was large chalk mark number three, a terribly sweet smile, “with a touch of English as Bodie heard what he’d just said to Doyle.
60 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 EMMA SCOT £3£3£3 A TOUCH OF ENGLISH £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3
“I suppose you think that’s a witty way of matron took one look at Bodie and Doyle, saying I’m too scared to fuck you?” sniffed, and turned on her heel, taking three “Shhh!” But it was too late. The three grumbling young ladies with her, and trailing young women were staring at them with two grumbling old ladies behind them. The copious amounts of interest. Bodie laughed, door swung shut, and the two men were weakly and said, “He’s just trying to embar- alone. rass me.” Bodie grinned evilly, rubbing his hands in “Trying to? I just bloody did, or do you glee and saying in the worst German accent always turn beetroot when you play billiards?” in the world, “Aha! Now ve haff you, Mata There was nothing Bodie was going to risk Hari, oont ve vill haff our vikkid vay viz you.” saying to that, not when the three elegantly Doyle, being a spoil-sport, refused to play dressed ladies—probably literally, knowing that game, going back to the billiards table. his luck—had surrounded them. “I think it’s “You know something, Doyle, you’re no your ball, Ray,” and he retired to the wall. For fun at all.” all of about two milliseconds, when an idea of Doyle stood up, leaning against his cue. absolute brilliance crossed his mind. “You wanted me to play with you, so I’m Doyle was bent over the table, working out playing with you. What more can you ask for, the best shot to make. Bodie?” “Checking the lie of the balls, Ray?” Bodie Bodie shuffled his feet like a schoolboy. asked, getting three giggles and one glower. Then he fiddled with his cue. Then the chalk. “I think you’ll need a freestroke and come Doyle went back to the game. three sides to get under the six ball, Ray.” “I’d like you to like me.” Doyle refused to even look at him for that, Truly enormous chalk mark number five. winning the game being the best kind of Doyle looked at him in amazement. “You retaliation when Bodie was in one of these want me to like you? That’s funny, I thought moods. all you wanted me to do was lisp ‘yes!’ and He had his cue touching his ball, when spread my legs.” someone touched his ball. Both of them, balls “Well, that too.” plural. He grinned, thinking it was one of the “As well as what?” sniggering women behind him. He looked up Bodie shrugged, incredibly inarticulate for and saw—all three girls. In front of him. On a man who could normally quote poetry at the the opposite side of the table. And there was drop of a hat. “As well as…well, liking me.” still a hand on his balls. He was, to coin a Doyle sighed heavily. “I already like you, phrase, caught between a rock and a hard Bodie. Though why I don’t know.” place. If he said anything, it would make sure “Not like that. Well, I’m not complaining that the girls would notice, and that didn’t that you like me like that, but I want you to, bear thinking about. But if he kept his mouth you know, really like me.” shut, Bodie would keep right on doing what “But not…like that? Have you ever con- he was doing. sidered learning English? It’d make life much Doyle kept his mouth very firmly shut easier for all concerned. How do you want me indeed. And then Bodie squeezed. to like you, Bodie? The way I like yoghurt? Or Large chalk mark number four. At this the way I like Mozart? My old goldfish? The rate, they were going to have more white on bloody cat that ate the bloody goldfish? How, the table than balls in the pocket. Bodie?” The door swung open and Bodie’s hand More shuffling: much more of this, and swung away back out of sight. Bodie could have a career on the stage. “Ah, there you are, girls,” came a voice that “All right, that’s it, I admit defeat,” Doyle ought to belong to a Basil Brush look-alike. finally said in disgust. “I give up, Bodie. “Come along, Freda’s waiting. And wake your Forget I said anything.” aunties up, they should be in bed by now.” The silence was deafening as only one of The decorously dressed and couture-coiffed Doyle’s sulks could possibly be.
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 61 A TOUCH OF ENGLISH £3£3£3 EMMA SCOT £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3
“I want you to like me the way you Bodie looked at him in dumbfounded would…well, the way you would…” Something amazement, then found his voice again. “You was whispered at the end, Bodie obviously in bastard!” he said, affection fighting fury, a a paroxysm of embarrassment. wiggle of Doyle’s bum winning the entire “What’d you say, Bodie? Didn’t hear that battle. “You’ve been playing hard to get.” last bit.” The sad thing was, for once he was “Hip, hip, hurrah. Thought you’d never telling the truth and not just making Bodie notice. And before you ask, yeh, I just wanted suffer on general principle. to make sure it’d penetrated your thick skull Another inaudible mumble. that I was more than a wham, bam, thank “For fuck’s sake, Bodie, can’t you speak?” you, sir.” “A girlfriend, a fucking girlfriend! Did you Bodie came up behind Doyle, both hands hear that?” making suddenly intimate contact—in other “I should think half the house heard that, words, grabbing cock and balls, denim and Bodie,” Doyle said, quite kindly. “So you want all. me to wine and dine you, spend a lot of money Large chalk mark number five. on you, fuck you through the mattress, un- “Bodie…” less you won’t come across—not that there’s “Can’t say no now, Ray.” much chance of you keeping your legs crossed “Yes I can! Bodie, we’re in a public room in and your bra on, is there?—and dump you someone else’s house and the door doesn’t when I get bored. That what you want?” even lock.” “No. Not like that.” “Never thought you wouldn’t be adven- “Okay, so you want me to like you, but not turous when it came to sex.” like that and not like that and not like that. Doyle didn’t actually answer, being too We’re running out of likes, Bodie.” busy groaning because Bodie had his zip “You’re a right bastard, you know that, down and out of the way, and obviously had don’t you, Doyle?” no intention of pocketing his balls—palming “Oh, yeh,” Doyle replied, looking as pleased was more like it. Doyle considered making as punch with himself. “And I’m going to keep another protest, but then his jeans were being a right bastard until you spill your guts, pulled down and Bodie’s hands found his Bodie. And there’re plenty of balls on the table arse, and then his cock again. if you don’t have any yourself.” Doyle stood up, pressing his back to Bodie’s Bodie glared at him, then shrugged, as if he front, wriggling around which didn’t exactly didn’t care, as if it wasn’t anything important. help in the parting of Bodie’s clothes, but “I can say it. Just didn’t feel like it before. certainly added to the general sense of ur- Nothing to do with being scared, or anything.” gency. He shrugged again, looking for all the world Bodie bent him down over the table again, the way he must have when he was trying to the buttons of Bodie’s shirt digging into Doyle’s chat up his first girl, or bloke, all big eyes and back, but he wasn’t paying much attention to bravado. “Romantically. I want you to like me that, being far too interested in the way romantically. See? Told you I could say it.” Bodie’s trousers and pants were down around “And so you could,” Doyle said, turning his Bodie’s knees and the interesting bits that back on him, going back to the table. “I’ve got were now thus available to Doyle for a bit of a ball in hand, so I think I’ll go for the six, and a free-hand stroke. I’ll put a kiss of English on the number seven, “I’m going to fuck you, Ray,” Bodie said, and take eight from behind.” rubbing his cock up and down the cleft of He stopped at that point, looking over his Doyle’s bum. shoulder at Bodie, who was doing a very “About bloody time, too,” came the imme- credible impersonation of a pillar of salt. diate answer, Doyle arching back to grab “What’re standing there like that for? Weren’t Bodie, doing a bit of rubbing of his own. He you in the middle of something when that old lifted his right leg up, so that his knee was on bat came in?” the lip of the table, and then pulled Bodie in
62 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 EMMA SCOT £3£3£3 A TOUCH OF ENGLISH £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 close behind him. nine balls. Was only four.” It’s amazing what can be accomplished But before Bodie could come up with a with saliva, a bit of precum and loads and suitably obscene retort to that, there was the loads of lust. Doyle grunted, indelicately, but ominous sound of feet and voices and, pre- eloquently, as Bodie pressed into him, stop- sumably, therefore people, coming down the ping Bodie for a second while he adjusted, corridor. Having just come all across some- then thrusting back, impaling himself on one else’s baize table, our two heros decided Bodie’s cock. Bodie’s hands were roving over that discretion was the better part of valour him, palming nipples, stroking cock, and and that it was time to beat an exceedingly Doyle twisted around so that they could kiss, hasty retreat out of here. tongue meeting tongue, sucking and kissing Clothes tidied and fastened in record time, and biting, building up to a crescendo, Doyle’s they were walking decorously down the cor- hands scraping the table felt, Bodie’s hands ridor before the first person even came within clutching Doyle’s cock, milking him, until sight of the billiards room. Which isn’t quite cream spurted from Bodie into Doyle, and what could be said about Bodie and Doyle. from Doyle, onto the table. Who, at this point, were climbing the stairs Well, it was another big white mark, but it to the room they’d been banished to share definitely wasn’t chalk. together, Doyle’s infamous laugh framing Bent over the table, face next to one of the Bodie’s salacious comments about early to balls that had started the current run of bed and early to rise, and how the early bird events that ended up with Doyle’s balls in catches the worm. Bodie’s hands and Bodie’s balls rubbing “Yeh,” Doyle’s voice suddenly came down against Doyle’s bottom, Doyle decided that he the staircase loud and clear, to the delight of was a happy man indeed. a little old lady with blue rinsed hair who had “Can see why snooker’s such a popular been following them since she saw the pretty game,” Doyle finally managed to find enough one arrive in such wonderfully workmanlike breath to speak. clothes, “but judging by what I felt across the “Wasn’t snooker,” Bodie panted, still re- billiards table, I’m going to catch something covering from his exertions. “Was nine ball.” a lot bigger than a worm, right, Bodie?” Doyle chuckled, filthily of course. “Wasn’t And never a truer word was spoken.
£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3…AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 63 FLIGHT OF FANCY £3£3£3 GAEL X. ILE £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 FLIGHT OF FANCY GAEL X. ILE
“OI, DOYLE?” Bodie whispered as quietly as than a dozen. Just sounds like hundreds,” he was possible, considering that they were in said miserably. He got even more miserable the main body of a plane with hordes of when the seats in front of them were claimed passengers milling around with excess bag- by an old couple, she of the hearing aid that gage, most of which seemed to be coming didn’t quite work, he of the ‘I can hear perfectly from their mouths. well’ school of deafness. They were shouting “Doyle!” Bodie said again, loudly this time, at other, quite sweet, really, if you liked to his reward a baleful glare from gritty green hear about the intimate details of life for the eyes. over 70’s delivered with more decibels than “What is it now, Bodie? Christ, you’re not the jumbo jet itself could generate. Of course, still nervous, are you? How a man who can the old dears couldn’t manage to get their jump out of a tiny little plane could be this hand luggage into either the overhead com- nervous on a fucking jumbo jet before it’s partment—the rack was too high up—or even off the ground, I’ll never know.” under the seat in front of them—that being “Language!” Bodie hissed at him, smiling too low. Taking pity, reminding himself du- with uncommon sweetness at both the young tifully that one day, he’d be like that, Bodie mother who had paused beside them to stare smiled at them and stowed the bags and her disapproval and the snot-faced brat who carrier bags and the odd little box away. was gazing at them with something that With a sigh of relief and showered with looked frighteningly close to hero worship. praise for being ‘such a nice young man’, he “And I am not nervous. But if I were, and I’m sat down beside Doyle, who was wiggling only saying if, mind, then it would make around in his seat like a constipated dervish. perfect sense. When I went up with any of my “What’s the matter with you now?” old lot, I had a parachute strapped to my back “Something—” this muffled as Doyle got and I was supposed to end up back on the himself into a very improbable position in his ground without the plane. Not to mention the seat, “is digging in—” another unlikely twist, fact that I wasn’t depending on some civvy “to my backside and—” one more odd warp- moron to fly us.” ing and if anyone had described the position “All right, Bodie, I’ve got the message. You Doyle was in, Bodie would’ve said it was are not, and I repeat, not nervous, you only anatomically impossible, although his bendy- look that way and can I please have my arm toy of a partner seemed to manage quite well, back if you’ve quite finished squeezing it to “it’s bloody wet. Oh.” death?” Bodie looked at what Doyle was holding in “Oh, sorry, hadn’t noticed.” his hand and started to laugh. “Bet that’s the “I had,” Doyle muttered, rubbing his arm first time you’ve ever sat on a dummy tit,” he and wincing. “Christ, look at this lot. The said with great wit, making Doyle glower all flight from Hell, that’s what this is going to be. the more effectively. There must be hundreds of kids on this “Excuse me, but I’ve lost my baby’s paci- fucking plane!” fier. Have you seen it?” The American voice “Nah,” Bodie said, wincing in his turn, this came from behind them, and Doyle stood up, time as a result of the infant squirming in the intending to pass it over with a look that could seat directly behind him and shrieking her curdle milk. One glance at the rather pretty opinion at the top of her lungs. “Can’t be more young woman made him turn the grimace
64 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 GAEL X. ILE £3£3£3 FLIGHT OF FANCY £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 into a charming smile, and he proffered the said, “The delay to repair the light should be dummy tit playfully. about forty-five minutes, and we don’t foresee “This what you mean?” too big a problem in getting a flight window at “Yes. I’m real sorry, I guess it kind of went that time.” flying in your direction when Megan was There was no possible response to that, having her tantrum. It’s the terrible twos,” apart from a full-throated scream of dismay, she shrugged apologetically, reaching out for but that activity seemed to be well taken care the bit of pink, orthodontically correct plas- of by the ever expanding horde of squalling tic. children crowded all around them. “You do know what we call this in England, “Oi, Doyle,” Bodie dunted his partner, “you don’t you?” he said, positively oozing charm. know how they have non-smoking sections? “We call it a dummy…tit,” he went on, with a D’you think we could ask for the non- lascivious stare at the pertinent, and far from screaming section?” false, part of her anatomy. Doyle obviously thought that was beneath “She might not know what you call it,” notice. came a voice heavy with both Yorkshire and But not, however, the on-going battle be- threat, “but I fucking well do.” tween the old couple, the young couple and “Lovely daughter you’ve got there,” Doyle the stewardess—and if one were to judge said, handing over the dummy tit as a pacifier purely on volume alone, the baby was winning and beating a hasty retreat. hands down. “Tut, tut, Raymond old son, chatting up A second uniformed type came up, bright- old married women with babies? What is the scrubbed face, bright eyes, bright smile, so world coming to?” bright in fact, that you wondered why he was “Shut up, Bodie.” And with that, he sub- on an aeroplane and not working at sided, staring out the window at the black sky Disneyland. He was charming and filial to the and the lights shimmering in the mist. old couple, charming and friendly with the Bodie shut up, even managing to stay young couple, and an absolute saint with the quiet right up until the moment when the infant. None of which was getting anyone very seats in front of them, the ones that had been far, considering that the airline had either claimed by the old couple with much fuss and sold these seats twice or someone had botheration, were currently being claimed by buggered up the booking system. Just to another couple, who were young, this time. make it a really jolly little group of people, To make matters even worse, they had yet both sets of claimants simply absolutely had another baby with them, this one positively to be, couldn’t possibly not be, in Los Angeles puce already. And they hadn’t even taken off within the next twelve hours. Which with the yet. Bodie, at this point and quite under- way this flight had been delayed already, standably, groaned. might be beyond all of their wildest dreams. “Oh, god, what else could go wrong?” he Doyle, with his usual eye for a bargain, asked, regretting it immediately as the Uni- piped up, waving his CI5 warrant card for verse and the Captain began listing what was good measure. “Listen,” he said, only to be in the process of going wrong, even as he drowned out by stereo cries from children spoke. fore and aft. “Listen!” he shouted, actually “We regret to inform all passengers that managing to attract the attention of the there will be a…short delay before we can somewhat tarnished-around-the-edges take off. This is due to a minor technical bright-button of a flight attendant, “I’ve got difficulty with one of our wing lights and as an idea.” soon as this problem is all cleared up, we’ll be “You don’t know how glad I am to hear that, on our way.” sir!” the perky young man said, excusing There was a communal muttering and himself from the rabble in order to pay homage groaning, and as if he had heard the rising to the badge of officialdom, but not without question, the Captain came back on and sparing a smile for Bodie and making sure
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that he was leaning across Bodie to hear stewards are poofters?” Doyle over the caterwauling complaints of “Nah,” Doyle said, dismissing the issue scared, wet, hungry and purely sour-faced from his mind, going back to watching the babies. workmen struggle around at the tip of the “Look,” Doyle was saying, “business class wing. and first class are always almost empty on Of course, by the time two different stew- these flights, right?” ards had come over to help two different sets A very telling pause, and then the steward of people, he was beginning to wonder if Bodie said, “Yeesss…” might be right after all. “So, why don’t you bump me and my friend “Oi, Doyle, listen. D’you think they have a here into business—or first, we’re not fussy, special interview for these blokes?” we’re just trying to be helpful—and give our Doyle looked at him warily, thinking about seats to this lovely couple?” how easy it would be for the air stewards to The flight attendant seemed doubtful, until bump them off this flight completely and how Bodie smiled at him, reached out and gave his likely a prospect that would be, if Bodie got forearm a quick squeeze. “Go on—” he started on some of his queer jokes. squinted, read the name badge pinned to the “Can just imagine it!” Bodie put on his red braces, passed it over in favour of the little plummy upper crust voice, the one that brass badge with what had to be a nick-name sounded as if chins and brains had never engraved on it, “Skippy. Why don’t you see been invented. “Now, tell me, Roger dear boy, what miracles you could work? I’m sure are you a homosexual?” He changed to a you’re very good with your mouth—coming high-pitched lisp. “Why, no, sir, not me, sir!” up with the right words at the right time, I The marbles were back in the mouth. “Hmm, mean.” pity about that, we thought you looked quite Skippy blushed and pushed his red-framed fetching in the outfit. Oh, well, come back glasses—the ones he’d spent a fortune on when you’ve been buggered a few times. because they matched his braces and his We’re always looking for men with experience!” car—and gave Bodie an exceedingly cheeky For that little effort, Doyle just gave him the grin and said, “Oh, I’m very imaginative at filthiest of looks and then spent the next three coming up with the right thing at the right minutes trying to disentangle a two-year old time. Hold tight, and I’ll go see what I fist from his considerably older head. can…come up with this time.” “Oh, god, I’m real sorry,” the mother was Bodie felt Doyle’s eyes on him before Skippy saying, and from this angle, when most of had taken two steps. what he could see was the nappied bottom of “What was that in aid of?” Doyle said, quite a kicking and screaming toddler, she didn’t reasonably suspicious. After all, it wasn’t look half as pretty. “I stood up to let my every day that your straight partner started husband get the diaper bag for me and she chatting up the local gay boys. grabbed you. She’s got a thing for curls, “Nothing, Doyle, so don’t look so worried, haven’t you, Megan?” petal. I’m not going to throw you over so I can “Don’t like curls,” said blonde cherub an- run off with our friend Skippy. It’s just what nounced, trying to eliminate these particular I was saying to you when we got on the plane curls from the face of the earth and the top of in the first place.” Doyle’s head. “Bodie,” Doyle told him with infinite pa- “Now, now, Megan, be nice,” the mother tience, which just went to prove how false the was going rather red in the face, trying to reasonable tone was, “you never did get unprize her daughter’s fingers without also round to telling me whatever it was you were detaching Doyle’s scalp from his skull. “Let going to tell me when we got on the plane in the nice man go.” the first place.” “Don’t like ’at man.” “Didn’t I? I was just saying, d’you think Bodie, needless to say, had collapsed in a that all the blokes who work on planes as puddle of total hysteria by this point, gasping
66 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 GAEL X. ILE £3£3£3 FLIGHT OF FANCY £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 and pointing and saying incoherent things “Yes, Megan like lambies,” she said, with that sounded somewhat insulting to Doyle’s the thoughtfulness of the two year old. “Me luck with the ladies these days. eat lambies for ’unch.” Doyle was too busy stopping his eyes from There wasn’t a lot to be said to that, was watering to pay much attention—he’d never there? live it down if he let a two-year bring tears to Bodie decided that, the worst of his hysterics his eyes, Bodie would see to that. over, it was time to come to Doyle’s rescue. “Megan!” the father boomed, making his “Did you know,” he said to his partner’s daughter jump, and lifting Doyle up on to his torturer, “that lions eat lambs?” tip-toes. “Let go of that man this instant!” “Yes,” she said, meaning of course, you’ve “Not like ’at Daddy,” the grot tot replied, her just told me so, so yes, I know that now. composure quite recovered and in fact, “And lions have biiig teeth and even bigger strengthened by Daddy’s disapproval. claws.” “Megan…” the Daddy threatened. “Yes,” and she was getting interested. “Not like ’at man, Mummy.” Bodie leaned forward a bit more, distracting “That man, darling, is your Daddy and of her almost enough while everyone else held course you love him very much now let—” a their breaths and wondered if he was going to heroic tug, enough to make a lesser man come out with something the infant monster weep, but Doyle was stoic through and would like but that they could also stomach. through with stiff upper lip even if the lower “I’ve seen lions,” Bodie whispered confiden- one was trembling somewhat, “—the nice tially, “eating lambies for ’unch.” He nodded, man go!” solemnly. A few, forlorn chestnut strands wafted She nodded back, huge blue eyes like down on the air flow and the sound waves saucers. She had obviously finally found a from the screams of the other children, most grown-up she could both respect and admire. of whom, no doubt, were just jealous because After all, he had seen lions eat lambies for they didn’t have a full-sized living doll of their ’unch. own. “Tell you what, if you let my friend go,” Doyle was beginning to think rather long- Bodie went on, “I’ll draw you a picture of the ingly of the gun he had had to pack. It would lion.” have been so nice to have his shoulder holster “Eating the lambie?” she asked, not letting on and his loaded weapon in there. Just pull go until she was sure this man wasn’t going it out and blam!, no more torture. to turn into a peddlar of cuddly toys as soon “Ahh,” the bright-faced Skippy was back. as he had what he wanted. He took one look at the situation, and smiled “Yes, eating the lambie, if that’s what you at the angelic little girl. “Hey, would you like want.” a pretty doll? Or a stuffed toy? See,” and he “Like lions,” she said, adding as an after- reached magically into the bag of distraction thought, “eating lambies.” he brought with him and pulled out a gorgeous Bodie smiled at her, unfastened her fingers fluffy white lamb. from Doyle’s hair, and said to the thoroughly “Not like dolls,” the little girl said, en- embarrassed mother, “Don’t worry about it— trenching her fingers all the more deter- but when she’s older, a man called George minedly. “But I like lambies,” she added, and Cowley’ll be able to find the perfect job for everyone heaved a sigh of relief, a truce her!” obviously in sight. Everyone, that is, save the “I must remember that trick,” Skippy was mother, who had this very pained look on her saying. “Should come in handy on this flight! face—almost as pained as Doyle, actually— Uh, sir,” this, to Doyle, who was still rubbing that fraught expression of someone who has his head, and making sure he was well a horrible feeling of what is coming next. crouched down in his seat where the sweet- “Great!” Skippy said, holding the fluffy faced little monster behind him couldn’t reach, lamb out to the little girl. while Bodie tore a page out of his notebook
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and did the promised drawing, complete with forty-five minute delay, cruising altitude finally biiig teeth and claws and lambies for ’unch, achieved, dinner trays dispensed, Doyle sit- “I’ve checked our manifest and it looks like I ting scowling beside him, Bodie had to laugh can get you two into business class up front. when Skippy came up to them, perched However, you’ll have to pay for the upgrade in himself on the arm of Bodie’s leather seat, ticket,” he said loudly, leaning forward to back against the seat in front and said, “Hi, whisper to Bodie, “only we won’t charge you nice to see you again. A friend of mine— anything. I have to say you’ll pay or we’ll have Frank, that’s him over there—took my post in a riot on our hands in here!” the main cabin for me. We…uh, swap things “We’ll be happy to pay,” Bodie said, hands a lot. Everything okay up here?” on his belly like an expansive and expanding “Couldn’t be better,” Bodie grinned at him, business man. “Will Access be all right? Or looking nowhere near Skippy’s attractive face. would you prefer a Barclaycard?” Doyle, fortunately, was too busy listing the “Oh, we’ll take care of all the paperwork in miseries of being up past his bedtime (although the forward cabin, sir. If you’ll follow me?” admittedly, he did have cause to complain, Bodie winked in agreement and slipped this being a full day after the aforementioned the gruesome drawing to tiny hands that bedtime), burst water tanks in the home treasured it. immediately before he was supposed to be Doyle, meanwhile, was muttering under leaving on a very expensive holiday, the his breath about being careful what you ask uselessness of the parking at Heathrow, the for. stupidity of partners who tried to save a few “What are you muttering on about?” Bodie quid and end up booking them on a rotten demanded as they squeezed and pushed flight instead of travelling one of the marginally their way through grateful married couple more expensive days with all the business with ungrateful infant, thankful elderly couple travellers instead of armies of package holi- with extra luggage, and what seemed to be day families, the serving of burned-plastic the entire cast, crew and extras from Ben aeroplane food when all a man wanted to do Hur. was sleep and— “You and ‘Skippy’, that’s what I’m talking Skippy smiled at him and said, “Oh, that about. You’d best stop flirting with him before sounds terrible. Would you like a drink, sir?” he gets the wrong idea about you, mate.” Doyle glared at him, pissed off at being cut “Oh, stop moaning, Ray,” and then he was off mid-complaint. laughing again. “You’re just pissed off because “It’s on the house, sir,” Skippy added, still that little girl thought you were her golly!” smiling, although that may have had some- This statement went down like the proverbial thing to do with where Bodie’s left knee was lead balloon, garnering Bodie one of Doyle’s in relation to Skippy’s left buttock. best glares and a not so accidental whack on “I’ll have a gin and tonic,” Doyle answered, the back with their hand luggage. “And at not quite sure what was going on here, but least me being nice to him got us better seats sure that his partner was up to something. without costing us a penny and anyway, once Before he could cast his suspicious glance in he gets us down there, he’ll be back in that direction, Bodie had moved and Skippy steerage with the plebs and we won’t see him was on his way to get the drinks. the rest of the flight.” “Two gin and tonics, gentlemen.” Doyle On a scale of one to ten for accuracy of was handed his without ceremony, while prediction, Bodie had just scored a zero. Of Bodie’s was held on to, Skippy’s fingers, just course, if he weren’t careful, it might be a hell purely accidentally of course, touching Bodie’s of a lot more than a zero he would be scoring around the glass. “Care for a lime?” later. Not that Bodie was exactly famous for “No, thanks, this is just the way I like it.” being careful… A call interrupted the mutual admiration Take-off finally accomplished, a mere three society and as Skippy retreated, neat bottom hours after the announcement of the first filling black trousers perfectly, Doyle snorted,
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“Care for a lime? You might not, but he,” a nod Bodie nodded at it and said, winking, “I at the busy Skippy, “obviously wouldn’t mind was always better at French.” a limey.” “Me too. But to be very frank, Greek is my “You’re imagining things, Doyle,” Bodie speciality.” said dismissively and quite dishonestly. “Very active in it, are you?” “Oi, I thought you were the one who said “Oh, depends,” he smiled, moving slightly that all the stewards on these things were so that he was half-off the arm of the chair gay.” and half-on Bodie’s lap, his left hand coming “It was only a joke. For Christ sake, why down to steady himself and—it’s amazing don’t you have your drink and go to sleep?” what can happen purely by accident, isn’t “Suppose I might as well.” A bone creaking it?—brushing against Bodie’s groin. He must stretch, gin and tonic and ice—but no lime, have liked what he found there because he lemon or any other fruit—wavering danger- added, “But when it comes to the Greek thing, ously close to Bodie. Then a couple of long I can be positively laid back.” swallows, the glass dumped in Bodie’s wait- “Bend over backwards, do you?” Bodie ing hand, and Doyle was wrapped up like a asked, blue eyes glittering, right hand bringing papoose in the grey blanket provided. Also in Skippy’s hand back to the site of its ‘accident’, the grey blanket provided for Bodie and both holding it there while Bodie’s enthusiasm— their pillows. A long-fingered white hand not to mention some other bits—grew apace. snaked out from the cocoon and stabbed the “Oh, sometimes.” button unerringly; the overhead reading light “Where’d you get the nick-name from?” went out and Doyle had become a grey lump Bodie asked for something to say whilst his in the window seat, and now bore a distinct body indulged in quite a bit of language of its resemblance to a sewing-kit Dalek. Thirty- own. “The bush kangaroo?” five seconds precisely, and the advent of sleep “Maybe, but I usually say it’s from peanut was announced by a tiny snore. That was it: butter.” once Doyle was asleep nothing, short of an Bodie slipped his left hand up over Skippy’s atomic bomb or a certain Scottish accent, leg, encountering the nick-named area. “I could wake him up. can see why,” he murmured, one hand be- Bodie, secure in his ignorance, sat back to tween Skippy’s legs, the other trusting Skippy enjoy the flight. to hold on tight between Bodie’s own legs, and Skippy had finished clearing up after dinner then roving upwards to the braces. He fingered and settling the other passengers down. With a nipple through the white shirt, the red a last inaudible word to Frank in the kitchen braces pressing his hand close—now he knew area, a thorough check to make sure that he why Skippy wore the braces, apart from just and Bodie were the only non-sleeping occu- making him look extra tasty. pants of the forward cabin, he came back to “Belong to any clubs?” Skippy asked him. perch once more on the arm of Bodie’s seat. “A few. But there’s one I’ve always wanted Bodie decided that it might not be just the to belong to, but I haven’t joined yet.” flight he enjoyed… “Mmmm…” Skippy moaned, but Bodie Skippy, he had noticed, was a thoroughly took it to be a request for information. attractive young man. Good-looking, light “What’s it called—the 50,000 foot club?” brown hair, not too short, slightly wavy. Blue “We’re only cruising at 35,000—but what’s eyes, made all the larger by his long-sighted 15,000 feet between friends?” glasses with their thin red frames. Slender Doyle chose this moment to snuffle and body, set off beautifully by the tailored black shift, blankets and pillows pushed and trousers that suggested all sorts of wonderful pummelled all over the place, a tousle-haired curves and bulges, white shirt and red braces. and sleepy-eyed Doyle appearing, accompa- There was another badge between the two nied by bad tempered muttering as he shoved name badges and this one read: Ich spreche the divider between his seat and Bodie’s up Deutsch. out of the way, finally lying down, curled up
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on his side, most of him on his own chair, his Doyle’s back-bone should be, a distinct head and shoulders and tent of a blanket on possibility the daft bastard might actually do Bodie’s. it. At which point, Bodie got his arse out of his With a rueful glance and a shrug, Skippy seat and went where Doyle shoved him. made to stand up and leave. Bodie’s arm shot Which was, not surprisingly, to the lavatory. out and grabbed him, his voice strangled. The door snibbed shut behind them, Bodie “Don’t—it’s okay, you don’t have to leave.” squirmed round to find Doyle sitting on the The blanket was tossed back and a very closed lid of the toilet, his trousers down to his tousled but very unsleepy Doyle emerged, ankles, his cock up to his navel, and his announcing, “Yes you do fucking well have to hands immediately grabbing and undoing leave, don’t you, Flipper, or whatever your Bodie’s zip. Before he could even steady name is.” himself, Doyle had Bodie’s shirt unbuttoned One look at those green eyes and Skippy and shoved out of the way, trousers unzipped remembered why jealousy is called the green- and shoved out of the way, and Bodie’s cock eyed monster. The economy cabin full of poised at parted lips. brats seemed very appealing all of a sudden. Doyle grinned up at him, teeth gleaming With an apologetic look at Bodie, Skippy whitely. “You’d better keep your fingers decided to depart for more fertile pastures, crossed we don’t hit any turbulence, hadn’t thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be such a you, Bodie?” bad idea to hook up with Frank again. And before Bodie could come up with a “What’d you go and do that for?” Bodie response to that, his cock was sucked in to an demanded, all aggrieved where he wasn’t incredibly gifted mouth. He looked down at frustrated, some bits of him managing to be the bobbing head and couldn’t believe his both at once. luck. Not that he was going to complain about “You, mate,” Doyle snarled at him, strug- this unexpected turn of events: what was that gling to free himself from a blanket that old adage about not looking a gift horse in the resembled an octopus in more than just mouth? colour, “are lucky I decided to be subtle and Bodie braced himself against the walls, didn’t rip your balls off and feed them to you.” thrusting his hips forward, groaning his “Oh,” Bodie said, a wealth of nastiness in pleasure as hands started playing with his that one word. “So because you’ve discovered arse and Doyle kept on sucking him. your partner is AC/DC, you’re going to throw Of course, there was another old adage, the world’s biggest fit and flounce off in a huff. the one about leading a horse to water and Well, I’ve got news for you—you’re on a plane, not being able to make him drink. Bodie and there aren’t any empty seats.” realised that as he was released and Doyle “I’ve got news for you, Bodie.” stretched up, covering his fingers in the hand “Oh, yeh? And what’s that?” lotion so thoughtfully provided—although “Yeh. I’m not going to throw a fit because not, presumably, for this particular function. you go both ways. I’m going to throw a fit But then again, considering the stewards… because you didn’t tell me and you were going Bodie was turned, and went, more than to let some pretty little thing like that have willing, bracing himself once more, locking you instead of coming to me.” his knees and hollowing his back so that Bodie sat like a fish, staring at him. Doyle could get his finger into him, sighing “Cat got your tongue?” Doyle said. “Well, happily as the first digit penetrated him. A I’m having more than your tongue. Get your second finger soon followed the first, and he arse out of that seat. Go on, Bodie, I’m not was wriggling around, trying to get them in going to sit here all day. And if you don’t move, deeper. I’ll have you right here.” Then Doyle’s hands were on his hips and There was, Bodie thought, looking at the easing Bodie backwards, and there was the bright glitter of those eyes and thinking about first sweet press of cock against his arsehole. the mile-wide wild streak that was where Doyle had obviously slicked himself down
70 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 GAEL X. ILE £3£3£3 FLIGHT OF FANCY £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 too, for he was sliding in easily and comfort- beading palely in the light. ably, sinking into Bodie as Bodie sank down And he watched, as Doyle’s hands slid onto him. There were rather conveniently upwards, rubbing the cum into his skin as positioned handles on the wall, and Bodie Doyle shuddered inside Bodie, his cry surely grabbed on to them, holding on tight, giving telling half the people on the plane what they himself enough leverage that he could move were up to. up and down, meeting Doyle as Doyle thrust Doyle slipped, soft, from the depths of up into him. Bodie’s arse, and Bodie stood up, more than There was a tug at the door, the usual rattle grateful for those handles, considering the as some nervous passenger struggled to shaky state of his knees. The lavatory was overcome his ‘relaxation’ drinks and work out tiny, now that they were calm enough to why the door wouldn’t open. notice it, barely large enough for one person, Buried to the hilt in Bodie’s arse, Doyle positively confining for two. They stayed as held completely still, while Bodie tried man- they were for a moment, one standing, one fully to both stifle his hysterical giggles and seated, both staring, as it dawned on each yield not to temptation. The Sisters at his old one of them what they had just done, and the school would not have been the least bit possible consequences. And then Bodie surprised to find that his resolve lasted all of grinned, and nodded towards the crowded ten seconds, and then he yielded to tempta- huddle of bathing facilities. tion the way he usually did and started “At least we’re in the right place for cleaning fucking himself on Doyle’s cock. up after.” Coming through loud and clear from the Doyle leaned forward and licked a droplet other side of the door, they could hear Skippy of cum from Bodie’s belly. “Yeh,” he grinned speaking very loudly and clearly indeed. “Sir. up at Bodie again, an echo of his earlier pose, Sir! This lavatory is out of order, see, I was just “suppose we are.” He lapped, delicately, at putting this notice up. Why don’t you come the limp cock, hoping that Bodie was as fit with me…” and eager as he was. And then Doyle was giggling into Bodie’s Bodie crouched down and stopped, his back, but only until Bodie moved in a certain face a scant inch from Doyle’s and said, “How particularly effective way, and then Doyle long before we get to Los Angeles, then?” buried his face in Bodie’s back, his cock in Doyle looked down at himself, then at Bodie’s arse and wrapped his fingers around Bodie and said, “Altogether? Oh, about six- Bodie’s cock. The small washhand basin light teen inches.” illuminated them, and Bodie watched him- It was indeed, about sixteen inches, al- self in the mirror, as he moved up and down, though it took them several more hours and being fucked. And stared, transfixed and in the end, they never did get to see the in- impaled, as orgasm transformed his face and flight movie… as his cum splashed up onto his chest,
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Doyle, so? Thought I gave you that back ages ago— Where the fuck did you leave my shirt? not my fault if you’re too bloody lazy to have Remember it? My good shirt, the lawn one the thing cleaned, is it? Where’d you buy the with the ruffles that belongs to the dinner new one anyway? Could buy a house in Wales jacket that’s also disappeared? The one you for that much money. You ought to try a bit borrowed to go out with that bird and promised of thrift once in a while, mate. I mean to say, you’d have dry-cleaned and back in my buying a shirt to save on the dry cleaning’s a wardrobe before tonight? bit rich, isn’t it? And the milk’s gone off—better get the You okay after that spat last night with the milkman to start delivering. If I depended on Ambassador? Jax says it got a bit nasty. you, I’d starve. What’d you do anyway? Fuck his wife? Bodie. Did not run out of soap powder. Never buy the stuff—that’s what Morag down the launderette’s for, isn’t it? Bodie, Doyle. You’re a kinky one, aren’t you? Don’t know now if I should’ve let Cowley coerce persuade me to let you stay here—dry clean my girlfriend Doyle, and have her back in your wardrobe? Always What d’you think I am? Anyway, he didn’t preferred the bed, myself. bring his wife—any of them!—with him, did What shirt? he? So I couldn’t do anything that stupid. Buy your own fucking milk. Who do you Leave that kind of thing to you. What’s this I think I am—the Cow? hear about you and the new recruits down Doyle. the training range? Sleeping rough, eh? And them so young, naughty Raymondo. Saw Morag. Isn’t she a bit big to fit in the Doyle, machines? Thought it’d be easier just to use I can’t believe you! No, I can, you little crud. soap powder myself. Is that moustache her The shirt, Doyle, that I needed to wear last own, or is it just a trophy she got from some night to that stupid sodding dinner baby- poor bloke? Oh, yeah, and she says not to put sitting that stupid sodding Arab and his your denims in with your underwear any stupid sodding Ambassador. That shirt, the more, else you’ll end up with pretty blue one I didn’t have and had to go out and buy undies, petal. a new one of. And just to say thank you to you Bodie. for losing it, I’ve attached a nice little present for you. Got milk, but you’ve run out of soap powder, Bodie, Scrooge. What did you say to Morag, you bastard? Bodie She was all over me, offered me tea and sympathy, even offered to hold my hand. If you’ve landed me in it— What do I mean, if? Bodie, I’ll get you for this, Bodie, the minute I find out If you meant that shirt, why didn’t you say what you’ve said, I’ll get you for this. And
72 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 CALLY DONIA £3£3£3 MY BEAUTIFUL LAUNDERETTE £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 while we’re on the subject, you can pay next Dear Bodie, time, you stingy bastard. You getting desperate It’s not usually my feet I measure in my or something? I never did put my denims in jockey strap. But it takes all sorts, doesn’t it? with everything else, which means you’ve Foot fetishists and all, I suppose. Oh, well, I been fiddling with my knickers. Something still love you. thousands wouldn’t but they you want to tell me, butch? didn’t before, did they? And I still want to know what happened Cowley’s idea of ‘light duties’ this time with you and the Ambassador. Cowley nearly round means 14 hours, half down the training, bit my head off when I asked him and then the other half doing crap in the office. And get went off down the corridor sounding like your mind out the gutter, you perv! Didn’t something out of Macbeth. You know, hubble, mean that and you know it. Thanks for the bubble, toil and trouble. Cept I think it was stuff from the dairy, but could you get mar- your head he was planning on boiling. garine next time? Don’t use butter. And I still Sleeping rough, I can inform you if you care want to know what went on between you and to listen, blockhead, means getting twenty the Ambassador. I’m beginning to think you shit-scared, farting, snoring wet-behind-the- were a very naughty boy, William. Told one of ears little pricks and taking them out to your Arab jokes, did you? Or tell them you’re harden them up so they can survive CI Jewish? C’mon, Bodie, give! I’ll try to give you fucking 5. So shut up. a ring later, if you’re still in. Won’t phone till Yours, after about one, though, give you a chance to Naughty Raymondo. sleep. The little pricks are still stupid enough to get themselves wet behind the ears. Christ help us all. Listen, if Cowley tries to send you Dear Naughty, out with McNulty, you put your foot down. Little pricks wet behind the ears? You shall Grapevine down here has it that he’s trigger have to teach them to aim better, petal! Can happy, makes Shotgun Tommy look calm. No just picture that, all sitting round while Mr. point in me getting better if you’re going to Doyle pulls out his weapon, shows them how end up flat on your back, is there? to load it, cock it and shoot! Hardening the Where’d you put my green T-shirt? And my little pricks—Freudian slip there, ducky? old denims, and my white shirt, bath towels, Suppose that explains the piles of clothes spare sheets and socks? You can’t have lost you leave lying around behind your arse. them, so where have you put them to be ‘tidy’, Can’t you at least dump them all into just one you mad military bastard? pile? Almost did myself a mischief this Yours, morning. Got in early (by the way, I expected Doyle. you to be here at 6.30. Thought the training schedule was easy-peasy? Didn’t Cowley say something about ‘light duties’ until diddums Dear Ray, was all better?) and as it was still dark and as See you found the sheets. I’ll see if I can find I was absolutely knackered after last night, I the other stuff for you. Must be in this pig- didn’t see your fucking athletic support until stye somewhere, I suppose. Although how I’d caught my foot in it and measured my you can ever expect to find stuff, I’ll never length. And if you think I’m taking that down know. Here, have you been using a new after- to Morag, then you’re even stupider than you shave, or has a strange man been sleeping in look, Goldilocks. our bed? Got you some stuff from the dairy on the Look, give it a rest. About the Ambassador, corner on my way home. Could do with some I mean. There was a bit of a misunderstanding, meat on your bones, going by last time I saw that’s all, nothing major, but you know Cowley. you. The only time he doesn’t get his knickers in a Bodie. twist is when he’s in his kilt. Borrowed a pair
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of your underpants—Christ, but you’re a sitting that diplo. Champers and caviar all skinny thing. Could hardly get them on. the way—for the nobs, we plebs have to make Thought you were going to ring me today? do with chip butties and Fresca. And yeah, Woke up specially and then had nothing to do yeah, I know about the cholesterol, but it’s but watch the test card. Won’t be in today— either that or nothing. Cowley’s got me baby-sitting some diplomat Wish you could phone me. Feels like months in the afternoon and stake-out overnight. By since I saw your ugly mug. Need to be reminded the way, thanks for the lasagne. Was starving how incredibly handsome I am and no one when I came in. does that better than you. Asked Cowley— Bodie. the old bastard actually had the cheek to grin P.S. It’d take something bigger than your at me when he told me I was going to be up in support for me to measure that length in, Ray. Birmingham from Friday to Tuesday. You’ll have to have a pint for me. Yours, Dear Bodie, Bodie. All right, so I know where one pair of my underpants has gone (never be able to wear them again, not after you’ve stretched them Dear Bodie, all out of shape with your fat bum), but where I asked you a question about the rumours are the rest of them? Had to go to work this about you and the Ambassador. Are they morning in all my glory and if that lot start true? Better tell me, mate, before I start slagging me off, I’ll have your guts for garters. jumping to conclusions and find you guilty. And no, I don’t wear garters, so don’t bother Left you a salad to make up for all those saying it. And what the hell happened to my chip butties. Murphy says Birmingham was towels? How the fuck did you manage to get really nasty and you got knifed. Cowley tells them covered in green streaks? You’re cost- me it’s nothing, but I want the truth from you. ing me a fortune, mate. And don’t blame it on Are you all right? And don’t go all stiff upper Morag—never had any trouble with her be- lip on me. If you’re not all right, I’ll get Cowley fore. to put me back on active and if he won’t, I’ll rip Cowley says I’ll be off this weekend. Any his balls off and feed them to him. What’s chance of you having some time free? Could going on, sunshine? It’s not like you to be this maybe have a drink, actually get to see what careless. Is it all those chip butties slowing the other half of this team looks like? you down? Or is something getting at you? Ray. Wish I could park you on the settee and not P.S. It true what the rumours are saying? let you out of here until you’d spilled your guts, but all I can do is leave you these poncey notes. But you tell me, Bodie, if there’s Dear Ray, something the matter. I can always call in Had a whole hour off today (Christ, can’t sick and wait here to see you, if you want. wait until we’re back up to full strength. In We’re so short handed, Cowley won’t even be fact, I’d settle for half-strength.) and spent it able to fire me. running round Marks and Sparks like a Jax says his oppo is going to be wrapped up chicken with my head cut off. Hope you like in about a week, so we should get some time your new fucking towels. Cost enough. It was off together then. You be careful, you stupid your fault anyway. I mean, who leaves a pair fucking sod, or I swear I’ll kill you. of green knickers in his pocket? And what I Ray. want to know is how come I don’t have the P.S. The green knickers belong to some O.A.P. time for a pee, but you’ve got time to fuck who has the misfortune to live down the some bint, eh? Bottle green knickers? What Estate where one of our bright young lads was the rest of the outfit like? was supposed to do a house to house and Been quite nice out in the country, baby- managed to jump a fence right into a
74 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 CALLY DONIA £3£3£3 MY BEAUTIFUL LAUNDERETTE £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 clothesline. Was so busy picking him up, I By the way, I was only joking about the didn’t realise I had a pair of her knickers in my stupid underpants, but thanks anyway. I hand until she was coming after us with her suppose it’s the thought that counts. Although carpet beater and curlers. Speaking of I’m going to leave it to you to take them to the knickers, I shall have to wear those if some of launderette and explain to Morag why I’ve mine that haven’t stretched don’t turn up suddenly started wearing leopard-print pants. soon, fat arse. Yours, Ray.
Doyle Ta ever so for the phone call. I feel so much Dear Ray, fucking better already. What would I do Sorry I flew off the handle before I went up without friends like you, eh? As I said, I’m to Manchester. Didn’t really mean it. being careful and no, there’s nothing wrong. Thanks for having my washing done, es- I’m just fucking knackered from working all pecially since I didn’t get in until this afternoon. the hours of the day, running my arse off, Was hardly here before I had to go back out doing my sodding job. Sorry you were so again. Really appreciated having some clean upset that I couldn’t set you straight about clothes for a change. Let me know how much those rumours you’re so fucking worried I owe you and I’ll leave it for you. about, but that’s because I haven’t heard Look, to be honest, I got back to town this any, but that’s not too surprising is it, since morning, I just didn’t have the balls to face I don’t get to sit on my behind all day, slurping you. I know you said it was all right, but it’s tea and talking about people who’re supposed one thing for you to leave me a note that says to be my partner behind his fucking back, do that. Didn’t want to actually see your face I? when I told you. I didn’t make a pass at the Will be in Manchester for four days, so you Ambassador, I’m not that stupid. But he can have your precious flat all to yourself. made a pass at me, and we were on our own Bought you three packets of sodding under- in his suite, there wasn’t going to be anyone wear to shut you up. And if you had half a else back for ages. So he started giving me all prick on you, your own would still fit you. these outrageous compliments and putting B. his hand on my knee, the same kind of thing you’d do with a girl. Then he started telling me what he wanted to do to me and what he Bodie, wanted me to do to him. Ray, I know I That does it. I’m taking Thursday morning should’ve told you ages ago, but what was I off, you should be back by then, and we’re supposed to say? By the way, your partner, going to sort this out. What’re you getting the guy that you share a bed with on stake- your knickers in a twist for? Or my knickers, outs and who gets to see you naked in the you seem to have lost all yours. All the showers and works out with you is as queer rumours say is that you made a pass at the as the proverbial three pound note? Yeah, I Ambassador and the Sheik had a fit and thought it was a fucking stupid idea as well, threatened to turn you into a eunuch then so I kept my mouth shut. I’ve been passing for and there, and with a blunt knife. You really straight all my life. I’m one of those blokes pick them, don’t you? Look, it’s no skin off my who can do it with women, but I prefer men. nose if it’s true, but it is important if that’s I even thought about getting married, when I what’s making you so bloody stupid on the was in the Paras, you know, to give myself a job. Keep this up, mate, and I’ll be spending bit more cover, quiet the rumours down a bit. my first day back on full duty laying wreaths Never did it, which is probably for the best, I at your bloody funeral. Just tell me, Bodie, suppose. It’s not something I ever chose, the that’s all. I’m not going to faint, even if it’s being queer, I mean. I’ve always been like true. this, as long as I can remember. I think that’s
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why I’m so good at keeping my hands to Dear Bodie, myself where I’m not wanted, so there’s really What do you mean, I can trust you not to nothing for you to worry about. Honest, Ray, lay a finger on me? What were you touching I’m not going to creep up behind you one dark me with all those times when you’ve felt my night and have my wicked way with you. You bum up, or ‘accidentally’ brushed against my matter to me too much. You’re the best friend crotch when you’ve been doing something I’ve ever had, and you don’t know how many else and could pretend that your hand just times I’ve wanted to tell you the truth, but I happened to be there? You’ve never kept your was always too scared it would make you go paws to yourself before, Paddington, so why all uneasy and stiff about me. We’re too good should I believe you now? You’re the one who a team to let that happen, aren’t we, Ray? And wants us to keep on exactly the way we were I promise you, give you my word, cross my before, so if you stop feeling me up, it’ll be you heart, the whole bit, I’ll never lay a finger on who’s going all stiff and funny peculiar on me, you. You can trust me, honest, sunshine. I’ve not the other way round. But if you keep on never touched you yet, have I? And it’s not me the way you used to, every time you put your that’s changed, it’s just that you know about hand on my arse to help me upstairs, then me now, that’s all. Don’t let it ruin things we’ll both know that it’s because you fancy between us, please. That’s the only reason I me something chronic. You do, don’t you? lied to you and made you think I was a real I don’t want clean socks, I want you to start ladies’ man. Didn’t want to ruin things. telling me the whole truth. Now, Bodie, not Anyway, about the Ambassador. We’d got next week, not next year. We might be dead as far as a bit of serious feeling each other up before then, and I want the truth. It’s obviously and he was rabbiting on in his own lingo, easier for you to write me a note than tell me don’t know what it meant, but I got the to my face (which just goes to prove that it general gist. Anyway, we were Sorry, you won’t was your fat arse that stretched my under- want to hear all the gory details. We hadn’t got wear, not your balls), so I won’t try to make very far when the door opens and in walks the you tell me in person. But I want the truth, Sheik. Who threw a fit, because it turns out Bodie. All of it. the Ambassador is his baby brother, one of R. dear old daddy’s by-blows. So he’s jabbering on, and the Ambassador is jabbering on, and all the bodyguards are at the door, screaming Dear Ray, to know what the fuck was going on, and then Believe me, mate, you don’t want all the Cowley showed up. I had to lie to him, Ray. I truth. D’you really want to hear that I started had to tell him that the Ambassador had with boys when I was only ten, before I knew suddenly started feeling me up and that I’d it could spit stuff out as well as get hard? I been in the process of turning him down thought I’d broken it, the first time I actually when the Sheik had walked in. came, scared the life out of me and Jack Well, that’s the lot. But Ray, you’ve got to McCluskey. First girl when I was almost 19, believe me. I won’t touch you, would never do did that to keep some ugly brutes off my back that to you. As I said, I’ve never laid a finger and stop them from calling me a pansy and on you before, that won’t change just because setting me up as a public convenience. Had you know about me now. All right? my first real love affair when I was 21, lasted Bodie. until he got killed. Run over by a bus, which P.S. Don’t know what you did with them, but was pretty funny under the circumstances. there weren’t any socks in the washing, so I Not that I did much laughing over it. But since ran some through by hand and hung them in then, there’ve been blokes, some of them the bathroom. Should be dry for you in the pretty important to me, but I couldn’t really morning. risk the involvement, not when I was under constant security checks and all the ones I fancied were the kind my CO was guaranteed
76 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 CALLY DONIA £3£3£3 MY BEAUTIFUL LAUNDERETTE £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 to have a canary over. But you said you bastard. All right, I’ll tell you the truth. Want wanted the truth, so there it is. And yeah, I’ve to hear it, Ray? Get your jollies from me got eyes, so of course I fancied you. Christ, suffering, do you? Then you’re going to love mate, half the straight blokes play tents after this, prick. While you were sitting there you walk past them, so what can you expect laughing up your sleeve at me, I was so from a fucking poof, eh? So don’t pretend to fucking miserable I even considered going be stupid. You know, I know, and let’s leave back to merc work. I was in love with you, it at that, okay? though what I saw in a vicious little sod like Mathieson and King should both be back you I’ll never know. Oh, yeah, that’s right, I in a few days, so we should be able to catch was in love with you. That night down on the our breath soon. Still fancy that drink with pig farm with the Army? You heard me me? I promise not to lisp or hit you with my coming, but did you pay attention to after? handbag if my fella fancies you more than me. Couldn’t bear it, so there I was at three o’clock Bodie. in the morning in February, walking around outside because I was too fucking scared of what I’d do if I stayed in there with you. You Bodie, see, I knew I could always put the other down You bastard! I told you I wanted the whole to feeling my oats. I could always say I had a story, and you give me that crap? Come off it, wet dream, but there’s not much I could say mate, I’m more to you than a tight arse to wangle myself out of it if you woke up to me walking away from you and I know it. But I cuddling you and telling you how much I don’t know why I’m disappointed that you loved you, is there? So I ran away instead. didn’t tell me the truth. Why should you, Always running away to protect you, so that when you didn’t have the balls to tell me you I wouldn’t scare you off with who and what I were queer. D’you honestly think I didn’t am. Oh, you’re broad-minded, I know you know, you dozy bastard? Christ, but you can are. But you crowned that bloke who tried it be incredibly thick sometimes. How’d you on in the pub that night, and look what you expect me not to guess, when you spent half did to that fella who grabbed you and kissed your life around me hard as a fucking rock? you when we went in to nab Vickers from that And what about that night we were stuck on club. Remember that night? You must’ve night manœuvers with the army and we put laughed yourself sick when you got home, our sleeping bags together to keep some heat seeing as how you knew that I was queer and in? Bodie, how did you think anyone could you probably knew that I was in love with you ever manage to sleep through all that heaving too. And there was me, terrified that someone around and huffing and puffing? Don’t insult in there would recognise me and blow my me, mate, just tell me the truth for once in cover and that would be the end of us. your godforsaken life, you fucking coward. Pathetic, isn’t it? I stood back and let you beat Your so-called partner, some poor fairy up because I was scared Doyle. you’d suspect me if I tried to stop you. So go P.S. And stop borrowing my T-shirts. You’re on, have a good laugh, have a proper giggle at ruining them. my expense, but I’m warning you, Doyle, you’d better get it out of your system before you see me next. One crack, just one crack, and I’ll beat you to a pulp, I swear. It’s not even Ray, that I can’t take it, but I won’t, Ray, I won’t. You knew the whole time and you let me go You make any digs at my expense, you say through all that? Then you have the cheek to one fucking word to Murphy or anyone else, call me names. Talk about the pot calling the and you won’t see me for dust. You got that? kettle black! Christ, we’d need floodlights to Really clear, is it? Just want to make sure. I find you on a dark night. won’t take it, Ray, so don’t even make any But you want the truth, do you, you little jokes.
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Well, this note’s a bit like Pinocchio’s nose, Dear Bodie, isn’t it? Grew and grew and grew. Almost Blood out of a stone, that’s what it’s been. forgot to tell you: Cowley said last night that Have you any idea how long I’ve been trying you’ll be back on active duty in three days and to push you into this? Years, bloody years. All I’ll be off this case in about 60 hours, so we’ll right, then months. I caught on at the very be back together as a team. If you still want beginning, you know, all those years as a us to. If you don’t. Look, if you don’t, then just copper paying off, you could say. Not that it say so, and I’ll talk to Cowley. I’ll tell him that was hard to tip what was going on. You’re I’ve decided that I work better on my own, that about as subtle as a bull in a china shop and it’s nothing you’ve done, don’t worry, I won’t almost as clumsy. But just because I knew land you in it. But make your mind up, will what was going on in your head didn’t mean you? Don’t chew over this the way you usu- that I knew what was going on in mine, did it? ally do. Worse than a bloody cow, you are. Not Now that you’ve been honest, I suppose I much else to say, really. I was so furious with ought to as well. Well, here goes. I’ve played you when I started this, but there doesn’t around a bit, the way boys do, really. You even seem much point in that, does there? So know, round the back of the bicycle shed, you you knew and didn’t say anything. It’s better, show me yours and I’ll show you mine. I suppose, than you knowing and going to the Funnily enough, the first time I saw anyone Cow. He’s got a saying for this—god, the old come, his name was Jack as well. He was in bugger’s got a saying for everything, hasn’t the second form and used to show off to us he? But he’d probably tell me that half a loaf’s young’uns in the first what he could do with better than none. Or be grateful for small his prick. Made us all as jealous as hell, and mercies. I am, in a way. As I said, I suppose I don’t mind telling you I was quite the local it’s better than you finding out and running hero when I started shooting too. But none of away from me screaming rape. So there it is, it ever went much beyond jacking off, crouched Ray. Your partner took one look at you and down together, trying not to get our trousers fell like the proverbial ton of bricks. I did the messy. Then there was a bit of playing around one thing I always swore I’d never do, because when I was on the swimming team, but we of you, but that’s not your fault. never really did much there either. Then If you can’t face me after this, then at least there was art school. I did everything when I have the balls to tell me. Leave me a note if you was in with that crowd: booze, drugs, orgies, have to, and I’ll be out of here before you come you name it, I did it. Including mutual mas- back off your shift. But don’t think you can turbation, fellatio and sodomy. It was at one play your games with me, Ray, because I of those orgies that I kissed my first bloke. But won’t let you. the thing is, Bodie, I never liked it as much Anyway, suppose this has gone on a bit, with men as I did with girls. There was hasn’t it? Nothing else I can say. It’s your turn something about women that could get me now. going in a second, when it always took actually Bodie. doing something with a man before I could get P.S. Your mum rang, something about it hard. So I didn’t know what the fuck to do being her birthday and what kind of son when I realised that not only did you fancy forgot a thing like that. I laid it on a bit thick, me, but you weren’t going to pack it in. And got you off the hook. Said you’d just finally you weren’t going to conveniently make my had time to send a card today, so you’d better decision for me, either. There was only the get your finger out. once that you stepped out of line, only the P.P.S. Sorry about your T-shirt. But I’m sure once when I could have said that yes, you Morag’ll be able to get the bolognese sauce definitely made a pass at me and that was out. when that mad bastard Preston was after me. We were going up the gangplank to Browny’s boat, and I think you meant to just pinch my bum, the way you usually do. But I slowed
78 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 CALLY DONIA £3£3£3 MY BEAUTIFUL LAUNDERETTE £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 down when you weren’t expecting me to, and (wake up, Bodie!), and, well, I’ll tell you about your hand slipped between my legs and your it later. I know I’m supposed to be the brains cock bumped into my arse. Then when I of this partnership, but it honestly never turned to look at you, you just sort of spread occurred to me how you’d see me pummelling your hands and looked so fucking scared and his brains out. But it had nothing to do with apologetic, I let it pass. Anyway, we were on him being queer. I just had a lot to get him a job and I was concentrating on not being back for. picked off by some maniac. See you on Saturday? We could get this I never wanted to play one of my games pigsty sorted out before it drives your orderly with you, especially not when I realised that military soul round the twist, have our Morag you were in love with me and that that was take care of the washing, then go down to the why you never chanced your arm. I mean, if Black Swan for lunch, talk about all this, sort it had just been lust, you could have picked a few things out. If you’re willing to go for it, a night when we were one over the eight and given the circumstances. I’ll be gone by the tried it on then, couldn’t you? If I’d fainted in time you get home (Cowley thinks that as I’m horror, you could’ve put it down to too much almost back on active duty, I can stop ‘lying booze and that would’ve been that. But you around on your spreading backside doing loved me, it was as plain as the nose on your nothing at the tax-payer’s expense’ and make face, so I had to be sure what I wanted before myself useful, so I’m out setting up security I said a word to you. I had more or less made for that conference at 5.30 in the morning.). up my mind, but this not seeing you is what Sent a card to Mum—thanks, mate. And you finally did it. I actually had to do without you, owe me a new T-shirt—not even Morag can do even though we were sharing because of the away with Luigi’s bolognese sauce. Anyway, security cock-up. D’you realise this is the I won’t be here when you get home, so leave longest we’ve gone without actually being me a note, will you? together since the day Cowley teamed us? Ray. And it’s half-killed me. Well, I suppose you know all about that too, don’t you, pet? So this is it. I’m willing to make a go of it if you are. Dear Ray, Not just a fling until I get bored or until a bit Sod the fucking launderette. I want you of skirt attracts my attention, but a proper waiting in bed for me. Not much point in relationship. The best I can promise you is doing a washing, is there? We’re just going to that there won’t be any men apart from you, get the sheets in a mess anyway. I’ll see you— and any girls I fuck will be just passing my Christ, I can hardly believe I’m going to fancies, nothing serious. But I don’t know if finally see all of you, in bed, for me! But I’ll see I can give up women for you, Bodie. I’d have you on Saturday, Friday if I can get the Cow to call myself bisexual, but I’d say I’m about to set me free early. D’you think I could 80-20% towards women versus men. I know wangle some compassionate leave? Conjugal it’s not exactly red roses, but it’s all I can offer visit? Nah, didn’t think so either! I can hardly without lying to you. But it’s all right by me if wait, love. Listen, em, a bit of a delicate you want to give me roses! Always remember, question here. Obviously, I’ve been round the pet, that you’ve got it in writing, which is more merry-go-round a few times, nothing’s going than anyone else ever got: I love you. More to be a bit much for me, so no worries there. important than that, you’re the one person I The thing is…Look, how long has it been for trust and the only one I don’t resent if I need you? I mean, if I want to fuck, you know, the to lean on them. Won’t be plain sailing, but old sodomy and buggery, the love that dare you knew that because you know me. I’ll try, not speak its name and all that crap, how Bodie, I’ll honestly try. And when I see you, I’ll would you feel about that? We can wait a bit, explain to you about that bloke in the pub— if you really need to. But I want you, god, Ray, but it wasn’t because he grabbed my balls. I I want you so fucking much all my trousers knew him from my days on the drug squad have gone too tight. You’ve no idea how many
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wet dreams (and not all of them when I was Bodie, tucked up safely in my own bed. Remind me If it didn’t mean we’d both be out of work, to tell you about that time in Cowley’s office, I’d kill the old bastard. I thought we were will you?) I’ve had about your gorgeous arse, going to be back at work on the same shift the way the muscles clench and Sorry. Get- again, not spending another two days cleaning ting a bit carried away with all the excitement. up the Bishop op. Well, at least we had Saturday! Saturday. Worth waiting for, wasn’t it? Listen Love, pet, you really mean it when you say you love Bodie. me, don’t you? Good. That means you can P.S. Took you at your word. It’s all right if take the sheets down to Morag and explain you’re not madly in love with me yet, as long why they’re covered in cum and vaseline, you as it’s all right with you if I go a bit overboard messy bugger you. You should take a leaf out sometimes. Hope you like the roses. of my book, mate, and always use the re- ceptacle provided! Love, £3£3£3 Ray.
80 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 £3£3£3 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 CONTENTS GRIEVOUS BODILY HARM This tale is divided into three parts, the first ‘In the Begin- ning’, being just that: a romantic start of the relation- ship. The second progresses until two bent coppers dis- cover they are of precisely the same ‘bent’. And with the last piece, ‘Blessèd Are the Meek’, the relationship moves more deeply into ‘kinkier’ sex and, more impor- tantly, into complete love and trust. So what, naturally, was the working title for ‘GBH’? Why—‘the ultimate trust story’, of course! So, this is a romantic love story—albeit SM—where the Glaswegian explores how honesty and trust can save a relationship when the conventionality and morality preached from outside would destroy it. If all this doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, then don’t read part three or even part two: You have been warned.
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IT WAS THE TWINKLE in the eyes that did it. Of morons put on this earth purely to try him, course, by the time he discovered that there “what’s the matter? You look like you can’t was a foul-tempered, moody, difficult bastard make up your mind whether you’ve won the behind the twinkle, it was too late: he was Pools—or forgotten to send your coupon in.” hooked. Completely, totally, absolutely and “That, Raymond old son, is because you utterly, caught, gutted and hung out to dry. don’t recognise complete sexual repletion At least, that was how Bodie described when you see it.” love—but only in his less-cynical moments. Doyle gave him one of his patented looks, The rest of the time, it was a cross to be borne, to which Bodie smiled broadly, the spitting but not silently. The loneliness of loving Doyle image of a man who was getting more than and not being loved back had to be concealed his share of earth-shattering sex. “So that’s it, by joking and messing about, and the desire then?” Doyle said. “Not to worry, sunshine, that would lurch through him had to be the first time hits all of us like that. Bit more camouflaged by pretending it was all just experience and you’ll be taking it in your pratting round, the kind of poofter games stride.” that only the straightest of the straight would “You’re just jealous because the wonderful ever dare indulge in. Whatever it was, how- Wendy walks around with her legs crossed. ever he did it, the one constant was that it had Frustration’s a terrible thing, Doyle, you ought to be kept inside, caged up small in a win- to do something about it. I’ve been told,” he dowless room, lest it peek out and be seen by leaned over as they stopped for a red light, green eyes that would miss nothing. Bodie “that some blokes actually masturbate. So had even found that it became easier as time seeing as how you can shoot with both wore on, a routine of almost music-hall pro- hands…” He let it fade off into his most portions subliminating the desire to love and wicked smile, face lit up with glee and the red to hold—and to fuck, as he was always quick glow of the traffic light. enough to admit to himself, lying alone in Doyle just glowered at him, turning away bed, hand fisted around his weeping cock, his in disgust—and defeat. It was still half-dark eyes threatening weeping misery even while outside and far to early in the morning for him his body snatched relief. to come up with anything approaching witty But that was in the solitude brought by repartée. He passed the time, instead, night. Fingers tapping a counterpoint rhythm struggling to fall asleep for another five to the song on the radio, he wasn’t even minutes as Bodie drove them past all the thinking about Doyle sitting beside him today hoarded-up shops and sleepy bus drivers. in the car: he was congratulating himself that And trying to ignore Bodie’s disgustingly Doyle, poor bastard, had absolutely no idea cheerful singing along with ‘247, wonderful whatsoever that his ostentatiously straight Radio One’. partner had fallen for him like a ton of bricks. “Will you fucking shut up?” “What’s the matter with you then?” “Cheerful as ever, Doyle, eh? C’mon, it’s Startled, Bodie shot a glance at his pas- almost half past seven, you should be all senger. “What?” he replied with grace, elegance bright-eyed and bushy-tailed by now. You’ve and an extremity of wit. had your coffee—” “I said,” Doyle repeated in that tone of voice “No I ’aven’t. Run out.” that made the rest of the world sound like “Well, your tea, then.”
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“No milk, have I? You and your bloody “Bit of an off day? Christ help us if you ever cocoa…” have a really bad day, then.” Jacket dumped, And if Doyle in this mood were given half voice diminishing as Doyle disappeared into the chance, that one small thing would become the kitchen for crockery and cutlery. the symbol for every single thing that was “And since when have you been so fucking wrong in the world. “Christ, you going to start perfect, tell me that?” Bodie shouted back. on about that again? All I did was make a Carrier bag on the table, shiny foil trays with couple of mugs of cocoa—” their hieroglyphed white lids appearing in “Yeh, then buggered off to meet whichever aromatic mounds. “I had a bit of an off-day, girl you’re working your way through this right, that’s it—” week, and left me with the mess in the “Yeh, right!” kitchen—” “—and I’m still better than you are when “And nothing but your imagination.” He you’re at your best. Not that I’ve ever seen it was pulling into the car park now, Cowley’s to know what it is.” car visible over there in the far corner, a small Doyle, back again, not lowering his voice clique of agents already clustering like grapes. from shouting through from the kitchen. A glance at the sour-faced expression sitting “Don’t pull that one with me, Bodie. This is beside him, and he couldn’t resist it, his own the job we’re talking about, not some bird, not face revealing more than it should. “Want me some darts game we’ve got a bet on, the to invite you along the next time? Have a nice fucking job, Bodie. That was my neck on the little troy, you and me?” chopping block—” Grinning, he jumped out of the car, ap- “A routine security oppo? You call that proaching Cowley, only the empty space be- having your neck on the block? There was no side him making him turn back in time to see harm done, nothing that could’ve gone the look on Doyle’s face. The speculation he wrong—” saw there threw him off balance completely, “Apart from you.” the picture of it reverberating round and Bodie looked at him then, really looked at around his mind, until he was like a cat him, recognised concern mixed with the chasing its tail. No matter how carefully, nor temper in the green eyes. how often, he ran after it and examined it, he Then a very different tone of voice, one that couldn’t quite place it. All he could see, when made Bodie shiver all the way to his toes. he replayed the memory of that face, was “What’s the matter, Bodie?” speculation. Thoughtful speculation, coming “Nothing.” Hearing himself, he didn’t be- from Doyle to him. lieve him either. Needless to say, Bodie was basically use- “Oh, don’t be a prat, Bodie. What the fuck’s less the rest of the day. the matter with you? Something’s going on inside that thick skull, and it’s affecting the “Christ on a crutch, Bodie!” Doyle was job.” yelling at him before the door was even shut, “It’ll be all right tomorrow.” never mind security locks on. “What was “You sound hell of a bloody sure about wrong with you today? Apart from the obvi- that.” ous, of course. Shite, forgetting to check that “Course I’m sure. Today was just…a bloke’s warrant card—just as bloody well he whatd’yamacallit. A momentary aberration.” was a genuine copper. Dozy bastard, you “Oh yeah?” almost landed us right in it. It’ll be a fucking “Yeah,” and Bodie grinned, all seraphic miracle if Cowley doesn’t have your guts for sinfulness, implying any number of things, garters tomorrow.” from an excess of sexual indulgence the night Being wrong always made Bodie defensive, before to a lack of sexual athletics which was his face surly as he followed the bellowing on the verge of being remedied, anything to Doyle into the living room. “So I had a bit of an distract Doyle. off day—” “And you expect me to believe that.”
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“Why not?” to leave as is, with Doyle distracted and off the “Why not, he says. Why not. I’ll tell you why trail. not, you great wally. Because your mind He should be so lucky. Bodie groaned, as wasn’t on the job, that’s why not. You weren’t Doyle proved his tenacity once again. “Right, paying attention—” you admit that you were way off today, but “It was a boring routine job that we could you say you’ll be fine tomorrow, and I’m do with our eyes shut, Doyle, so don’t say you supposed to believe you. I’m supposed—just weren’t half-thinking about other things all want to get this straight, Bodie—to trust you day as well.” with my back, after today’s complete balls- “Yeh, such as what the hell you were up, with nothing more reassuring than you playing at, but at least I still managed to do saying it’ll be all right?” my job, didn’t I, Bodie?” “Don’t you think you’re over-reacting, “You saying I didn’t?” Attacking now, to Doyle? Look, so I was a bit slow off the mark cover that he was in full retreat, deflecting today, but so’ve you been. It was only a Doyle’s natural and excessive need to know. routine—” “You trying to say I didn’t?” “Boring job, I know. But how’d you know it “You saying you did?” was going to stay that way?” Bodie just looked at him, recognising Doyle “Didn’t, did I? But you know how it is, at his stroppy and stubborn best, then Doyle. Bit of danger, the adrenalin starts shrugged, as if by showing that it was un- flowing, and you’re off and running.” important to him, then Doyle would take the Doyle sat beside him, very quiet, very hint. Supremely nonchalant, Bodie went back thoughtful, spearing Bodie with the occasional to the Chinese food, piling his plate into an sharp glance. Bodie, used by now to covering Everest of chow mein and spring rolls. up, ignored it all blithely, carrying on eating, “Okay, so now we’ve established that your downing his lager, watching the telly. Ev- mind wasn’t on your job today.” erything as usual, nothing whatsoever out of “You have left the Force, you know,” Bodie the ordinary, or so it seemed, were the observer mumbled round a piping hot mouthful of to miss the tension underlying the banality. sauce-drenched spring roll. “Handed your But the unease was down deep, and the uniform in and everything.” banality on the surface, and in between lay Doyle, to Bodie’s unease, wasn’t about to the middle ground, the area that held their be distracted. “It’ll be quicker in the long run friendship, and the area that was now home if you just tell me, Bodie. Go on, give! You to a lingering feeling of things not being quite know I won’t give in until I find out what the right, of there being something missing, hell is going on.” something not quite…enough. Bodie knew Without warning, Bodie threw himself that median well, knew it for the thin ice it across Doyle’s lap, lisping, “Oh, darling, was, for all that it seemed so warm and cosy darling, it’s you! I simply can’t contain my and safe. One step on there, into the barely love for you, light of my heart!” delineated emotional longings, and he would “Shurrup, Bodie, and get up off my lap as be falling, sinking in over his head before he well. God, look at the mess you’ve made. If could catch his breath. that sweet and sour stains my carpet, I shall So instead of pulling Doyle in closer, instead have you pay for its cleaning.” of slipping his arm around Doyle’s shoulder Bodie smiled, well pleased with his ploy, and drawing the slender strength into the everything once more hidden in plain sight curve of his embrace, he concentrated on his where Doyle would never see it. He considered, drink instead, moving on to Newcastle Brown for a tantalising second, camping it up a bit Ale when the lager was finished, contemplating more, maybe even copping a feel under guise whisky when the beer was gone, watching out of pratting about, but he shoved the temp- of the corner of his eye as Doyle set himself to tation aside almost primly: wouldn’t do to get the task of working his way through a hell of either too greedy or too sure of himself. Best a lot of booze. The television set was decidedly
84 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 M. FAE GLASGOW £3£3£3 PART I: IN THE BEGINNING £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 fuzzy round the edges, and Bodie felt himself was gathering up his jacket and keys when slipping into the same dangerous state. Time, Doyle spoke, speech slightly slurred by the then, to leave, and to leave behind both Doyle lateness of the hour and the consumption of and the temptation to let himself get really too many cans of lager. drunk, to give him an excuse to himself for “You ought to kip here tonight, mate.” letting go and reaching out to touch Doyle. To “Oh yeh?” Bodie said, quite calmly, or so it touch, and to kiss, and to love… He should sounded. “So you can keep me awake with leave, he knew he should. But he convinced your snoring?” himself that he could resist the lure of boozey “So’s you can avoid getting more points on amnesty as excuse for sex and that he could your license and Cowley coming after you manage to keep the whole evening as simply with a bloody hatchet for driving under the closeness between friends. Doyle need never influence again.” know the truth… Bodie stopped then, hand pausing in the Night drawing late, Doyle drawing closer, act of clinking car keys into jacket pocket, a sleepy curls drooping, fierce face softening legitimate excuse for spending the night the into the faintest of smiles to curve the full and last thing that had been on his mind—the last inviting lips. And Bodie sat very still, staring thing that had been on his sane and sensible at him, whole body aching with the desire to mind. “I haven’t had that much,” he answered, do nothing more daring than cuddle Doyle in for the sake of his conscience. The second close to him, to cherish the wiry strength to Doyle had opened his mouth, a myriad of him, to keep Doyle all for his own. possibilities had presented themselves to Not, wisely, a desire he acted upon. Instead, Bodie, all of them wonderful in the night and as limpid green eyes blinked at him, as the probably lethal in the day, when coherent somnambulant warmth seeped from Doyle thought and consequences would demand into him, Bodie got to his feet, stretching as if their due. “Anyway, what’re the chances of it were nothing more than stiffness from me being stopped, eh?” being sat there too long, yawning widely “Driving the way you do, at this time of the although he was far to involved to be tired. night.” A ponderous stare at his watch and Knowing that the truth of it was that temp- then, added, “This time of the morning. ’S too tation was proving too alluring to be resisted late—or too early—for you to hit the streets.” for very much longer, and that if he gave in to A chuckle, somewhat damp and bleary-eyed his own desire, then this adorably rumpled around the edges. “An’ the way you drive, sweetness blinking at him so unaware would hitting the street’s what it’d be, wouldn’t it?” turn into a beast that would bite off the hand “Yeah, but I’m not sleeping on that bloody that tried to feed it love. settee of yours, so that means I’m going home “Best be off, then,” Bodie said, pottering to my own bed.” He wanted to hold his breath, around, tidying up even though he knew it to keep himself entirely still, to wait patiently was stupid to prolong the moment, but he to find out if Doyle was going to make him an couldn’t bear to leave just immediately, not offer he couldn’t refuse, even though he most with Doyle half-sprawled the length of the certainly should. Instead, he wandered over settee, legs akimbo, standard-lamp pooling to stand in front of Doyle, behaving as he light and shadow in the rills of Doyle’s jeans. always did. “Unless you’re willing to sleep on But, Bodie admitted wryly to himself, his that lump of springs and give me your bed?” small smile of self-deprecation fumbling its “Fat chance. I’m being nice to you, not way through Doyle’s unconscious appeal, it bloody stupid. Nah, you can come in beside just went to prove how far gone he was: it me. It’s a big bed, you know.” wasn’t even the sex that made him want to Oh, Bodie knew, he knew! He’d lost count linger, it was this rare, sweet mood that had of how many times he’d seen that bed and swaddled Doyle. wondered how the hell to persuade Doyle to Bodie had dumped the last of the foil let him into it. Now here was Doyle, inviting containers and the beer cans into the bin, him to ‘come in beside’ him, as if they were
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both just kids who hadn’t discovered what be a vicious drunk—Doyle could be vicious their pricks were for yet. Christ, get into bed sober, for that matter—and Bodie didn’t want beside him, Doyle with nothing on but those to be here when that started. He’d had a few stretchy pyjama bottoms he wore, and Bodie too many himself, and he wasn’t exactly the himself, suddenly, almost blushingly aware, village vicar when he got going either. Plus, that he had nothing with him he could sleep there was no saying what would happen if he in. Nothing but his birthday suit and the got an attack of the wandering hands and future of England carried proudly before him. Doyle was sober enough either to remember Bloody insane to even consider it, he told it in the morning, or notice it in the night. himself, stiffening his resolve, turning away So he helped Doyle upstairs, his own feet so that he wouldn’t have to look at Doyle and a bit on the unsteady side, but his intentions thus stood at least some chance of resisting absolutely rock-solid: Gibraltar had nothing temptation. on him. Apart, perhaps, from constancy. At “You’ve gone off again, Bodie,” Doyle was the bedroom door, his intentions were purely saying to him, slurring nonexistent esses, virtuous, consisting of getting Doyle safely eyes owlish from the drink, mouth incredibly, into bed, all alone, and Bodie himself out of invitingly soft. “Wish you’d tell me what was there with his face intact and his balls still wrong, you great prat. Could mend it for you attached to his body and not removed by then.” Doyle slumped back, abruptly bone- some swift jab of Doyle’s vengeful knee. By less, and Bodie wanted desperately to caress the time they had got as far as the edge of the the dimpling crease of Doyle’s smile. Before bed, all the promises he had made to himself he could, Doyle smirked at him with the were pretending to be lemmings, leaping off delight of the drunk and said, sing-song: “I the edge of the bed to plunge, metaphorically could make it aaaall better!” speaking, between the sheets. With the traditional kiss? Bodie thought to Doyle, at some stage in the manœuverings himself, some memory of his mother surfacing between door and bed and Bodie’s attempts unexpectedly, with her perfume of roses and to stop him, had removed his clothes and ample bosom, all of it ensconcing and suffo- was, quite literally, bollocks naked. cating to a small boy held close to maternal And Bodie, poor Bodie was stuck there, his love. “You, my old chum, are absolutely arms full of naked, squirming Doyle—“I can’t pissed,” he said, sounding perfectly sensible get my sock off, Bodie, give us a hand”—and when he wanted to scream in frustration. his y-fronts were full of squirming cock, his Trust Doyle to pick tonight to camp it up. In body happily betraying him in favour of the fact, if he hadn’t known better, he would have luscious Doyle. The naked, luscious Doyle. said that drunkenness had given way to The naked, luscious and— sodden seduction. But still, Bodie couldn’t Couldn’t be willing, he thought to himself, help but smile in response to Doyle’s beaming trying to disentangle himself from a Doyle face. who seemed for all the world to be undoing “Yeh,” Doyle finally got round to saying, “I Bodie’s shirt buttons. “What’re you doing?” am. Pissed. Pickled as a newt, that’s me.” Bodie demanded, Liverpudlian docks back Eyes growing wider, “You’ll stay, won’t you, full force, his accent freed by his shock—and Bodie? Won’t be able to find me way to bed his fear. “Give over, Doyle, pack it in!” else.” “No, won’t. Can’t come to bed with your “Oh, come on, you, I’ll see you upstairs.” So togs on like that. Get me sheets all mucky.” saying, he bent down, looping Doyle’s right And he was giggling, Bodie noticed, not the arm over his own shoulder, hauling his partner usual filthy chuckle, but an infectious giggle, to his very unsteady feet. “That’s my lad, up the way Doyle laughed when he was absolutely the stairs to Bedfordshire with you. Soon plastered. Oh, god, he thought, what did I do have you tucked in and snoring.” to deserve this? There he was, in Doyle’s And Bodie didn’t actually add out loud: bedroom, with a naked Doyle in his arms, before the drink turns you nasty. Doyle could and a very enthusiastic Doyle trying to strip
86 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 M. FAE GLASGOW £3£3£3 PART I: IN THE BEGINNING £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 him off. The very stuff of dreams, apart from unease, as his mind effortlessly replayed the the minor detail that Doyle was drunk and incident that morning. had no idea what he was doing. “Oh, yeh,” Doyle carolled in uncomplicated But even as his mind was rejecting taking glee, “I know something you don’t!” advantage of Doyle’s drunkenness, Bodie’s “Well, if it’s about me, then ‘course I know body was whole-heartedly embracing it, about it, don’t I?” grabbing at the opportunity, cock twitching “Oh no,” curls bobbing, Doyle staring at as his blood pulsed heavily through him. him with the unblinking concentration of the “C’mon, Bodie, gerrem off! Go on, show us drunk. “You haven’t worked it out yet, don’t what you’ve been keepin’ covered. Bet you’ve think. You’d’ve done something if you had, got a willie the size of me little finger an’ that’s wouldn’t you?” why you’ve been so shy. That it, Bodie? Yeh, “Doyle—” bet it is.” “Don’t like it when you call me that. Did Bodie shoved him aside, not gently, the you know that? Never liked it, ‘less we’re on probing fingers leaving his zip alone, Doyle the job. Makes me think of other stuff. School, collapsing backwards onto the bed, genitals an’ the police an’ me dad, all that crap.” flopping, gales of laughter filling the room. Looking at that unmasked face, Bodie “William Bodie,” Doyle managed between knew he was sinking, ineluctably, into the bouts of hysteria. “Little Willie Bodie! That morass of his own feelings. It was high time— what they call you, eh?” past time—that he got out of there, with But before Bodie could stand on his dignity Doyle’s virtue and their partnership still in- and then retreat in high dudgeon, leaving tact. “Want me to call you Raymond, do you, them to be friends again another day, Doyle then?” he muttered, disappearing off out of stopped laughing and stared at him, eyelids the bedroom for a minute, voice rising with at half-mast, marginally glazed eyes fighting the increase in distance. “Or d’you fancy to focus on him. Raymondo?” He was back, not really looking “But they’re wrong, aren’t they, sunshine?” at Doyle now, careful to concentrate instead Doyle slurred with ponderous seriousness. on the practicalities of a bucket on the floor, “An’ even if they were right, the whole fuckin’ glass of water and towel from the kitchen on lot of them,” an arm waved, encompassing the bedside cabinet. “Like that better, do some vague massing of unknown, uncaring you?” strangers, the world out there against the There was a longish pause, and he assumed world they had in here, just the two of them, drunkenness had slid Doyle off to sleep, but “I wouldn’t care, would I? Best fuckin’ partner just as he relaxed and went to stand up, Doyle a man ever had, you know that, don’t you?” spoke again, a small voice, but clear as a bell. Doyle was saying, maudlin in drink as he “Prefer pet. Or sunshine, or mate. Like it always was, and for Bodie, this part of the when you give me nicknames, you see.” evening was well worth the price of the booze Christ, but he had to get out of here! If for getting Doyle into this state. Bodie stayed, he’d take Doyle up on more Affection was a rare crumb from Doyle’s than Doyle was probably offering. That was it, table, and Bodie always snaffled it up as he explained to himself, Doyle always turned voraciously as a dog, but never, absolutely maudlin and melancholy when he got drunk, never, letting Doyle see his hunger. “Yeh,” he the lonely, self-pitying misery interspersed said, smiling in spite of himself, hand ruffling with giggling bridges that only led to more Doyle’s hair, “I know that, glad you finally sadness and more confessions. And Doyle twigged.” was one for reaching out when he was drunk, “Twigged about something else, you know,” all his inhibitions removed. Doyle, reaching Doyle whispered, all wide eyes and slightly out to him for love and affection, all the rules wobbly winking. “Somethin’ ‘bout you, Bodie.” thrown out by the drink… The temptation “You did, did you?” and he betrayed, not by was too much, and he had to run, bolt, else action or expression, a single second of his he’d be in that bed with Doyle, fucking him,
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and fucking their partnership up perma- Tomorrow would see the return of the prickles nently. And he knew, had weighed it all up and the hackles, tight expression over tight more times than he cared to remember, that mouth, Doyle gone all proper on him, maybe a quick tumble, even if it were to satisfy either not even willing to look at him… Doyle’s curiosity or Doyle’s drunken thirst for But Doyle was looking at him now. Right affection, wasn’t enough to destroy a friend- now, here, in front of him, naked and beau- ship. For Doyle, after, there would be em- tiful and irresistible. What price Bodie’s barrassment, and regret, and that gnawing honour and resolve now? Slowly, Bodie’s feeling of betrayal every time he looked at his hand went to his own clothing, beginning to so-called best mate who’d taken terrible ad- undress himself, to make his body as naked vantage of him… as his eyes, and all the while, Doyle was Turning away without looking directly at watching him. Doyle, a sudden movement caught Bodie’s “We’re drunk, Bodie, aren’t we?” attention, and he turned. There was Doyle, “Oh, very, very drunk, sunshine,” Bodie dressed to the nines in his birthday suit, told him, feeding him lies, cocooning him in laughing like a drain. deceit, keeping him safe. It would be Bodie to “Just thought of something,” Doyle man- bear the blame tomorrow, when all that was aged through the giggles. “Remember that left for Doyle was a hangover and the after- song?” He laughed again, and then he started effects of sex. But Bodie could take it, because singing, voice belting forth with more en- he had always known that he liked men. thusiasm than musicality, feet and hands Never had to fight it, always taken for a macho and hips keeping up with some inner beat, bastard by dint of looks alone. Nothing for “Little Willie, Willie won’t, go home, and you anyone else to use as threat to his own sense can’t put Willie down, Willie won’t go…” Then of masculinity, unlike Doyle with his curls the giddiness was gone again, Doyle serious, and his artistic bone structure and grace. Oh, sombre even, with the spurious and intense yes, Bodie could bear it. sobriety that only drunkenness brings. “That For Doyle, he could bear anything. happen to you, Bodie? Up it comes, an’ then “You’re stayin’ with me, aren’t you, Bodie?” it won’t go down. Doesn’t matter what you “For as long as you want me to, mate.” think about, you can’t get it to behave itself, “Like it when you call me that,” Doyle told and you have to sit there, with everyone him, tongue tip moistening his lips, the pull lookin’ at you an’ sniggerin’. Happens to me, of that going straight to Bodie’s groin. all the time, in fact. Doesn’t take much to get “Know you do,” he whispered, kicking his me started, does it? Anything, really. Or shoes off, getting rid of socks and trousers anyone. Sometimes, all it takes is someone and underwear and shirt, all of them shed as wanting me…” if they were his own misgivings and his own Bright green eyes gazing at him, Doyle’s fears of what the repercussions would be. voice coming between Bodie and the few “Goin’ to call me nice things all night?” paltry panicky defences he had left. Bodie “Want me to, pet? Want me to whisper swallowed, hard, his eyes never leaving sweet nothings to you? Is that it?” Doyle’s, the moment turned upon him, and it “Want you to make the loneliness go away. was then that Bodie saw how inevitable it had Did you know, Bodie,” and the voice was all been, from the very second he had first laid suddenly almost chatty, the eyes blinking eyes upon Doyle. There was, quite abruptly slowly, “did you know that I’m always lonely? really, no point in fighting it any more; time, In here—” a thump to his chest, over the at last, to give in, yield, let temptation and love sternum where the heart lies, romantically and lust have their sway. How could Bodie speaking, “right here, that’s where it’s always not? For whatever reason, Doyle wanted him, empty. No-one ever gets in there, Bodie. Cept or wanted to try a bit of the queer, or simply you.” couldn’t face being alone. For now, for the “I won’t let you be lonely any more, Ray,” he time being. Tomorrow would be different. whispered, kneeling on the bed between
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Doyle’s spread legs, a shiver of arousal going sucking Doyle back inside. One hand was through him as he was able to touch Doyle for massaging the sweet curve of buttock, the the first time, here, and here, where the hair other dallying with Doyle’s balls, rolling them, on his chest curled beautifully around the squeezing them, thumb coming between to pinkness of nipples. separate them, thrillingly, the suggestion of “We’re drunk, Bodie,” was all Doyle said, danger itself showing how much trust there and Bodie left it at that, for it was true—for was between them. But still, his next move one of them. He wasn’t even close to being as was made cautiously, wary of turning Doyle drunk as Doyle, but it was enough, Doyle off or sobering him up with shock. Bodie drunk enough that he would be able to face danced a finger along the raised rimple of himself in the morning, Bodie ‘relaxed’ enough flesh that led so unerringly from balls to arse, that he could excuse himself to his conscience beckoning his touch, demanding his caress. when that under-used faculty started kick- He fingered the puckered opening, and Doyle’s ing him awake. entire body went suddenly still, and Bodie “We’re as drunk as you need us to be,” withdrew, quickly, returning his hand to the Bodie said, closing his eyes and leaning down mind-numbing massage of Doyle’s balls, closer, until he could smell the soap that sucking on his cock with renewed enthusiasm. Doyle used, and the deodorant, and under it There were fingers tangling in Bodie’s hair, all, animal keen and sharp, sweat, and musk, disarraying both the style and his own equi- and Doyle. He licked, tentatively, not wanting librium. He couldn’t get over the fact that this to push too fast or too far and scare Doyle off. was Doyle, his Raymond Doyle, clutching at His hand lowered, until he felt the plush of him, thrusting into his mouth. Couldn’t get crisp body hair, the flattened curls fluffing up over it and didn’t want to get over it. He never with his caressing, and then the incredible wanted to let Ray go, wanted to hold this sensation of actually having his hand on precious man inside, to worship him with a Doyle’s cock. The experience, generically carnality of passion made taboo by religion. speaking, was hardly new to him, but this And he was going to snatch every second’s time, it fascinated him, this new texture and enjoyment he could from this night. new map of veins that was uniquely Doyle. He It was obvious that Ray was close to coming, wanted, so consumingly that he could think so Bodie slowed his caresses down, bringing of nothing else, to taste him, to suck him in Ray back from the peak, stringing him out on deep and feel the surge of cock down his a resonating thread of pleasure. Hunching throat. Slowly, hands careful to stroke and over Doyle, Bodie stretched behind himself, knead and pleasure every available inch of fingering himself, consciously relaxing his Doyle’s skin, he swallowed Doyle down, inch anal muscles. He used his left hand to stroke by inch, widening his jaw to accommodate Doyle’s cock, tantalising Doyle while he spat the thickening flesh. The hardness excited into his own hand and used that to whet his him, his own cock rising to press against his arse, spitting again, fingers going inside inner thigh and the edge of the mattress. He himself, making himself ready, doing all the pressed down hard, and groaned in pleasure, work so that all Ray would know was the the sound reverberating through Doyle, the incredible power of sinking into a yielding muscles trembling fine and lean under Bodie’s body. hands. Bodie wanted none of the details to be left Bodie withdrew, just far enough to cradle to Ray, for if they were, then Doyle might lose the head of Doyle’s cock in his mouth, his the hurtling urgency of sex, might slow down tongue teasing the flange, paddling under the enough to think, instead of being slowed foreskin, tracing every sensitive nuance, down just enough to be held close to the edge knowing to the finest detail what Doyle was of orgasm. Perfectly aware of every inch of his experiencing. He sucked, hard, pulling Doyle body, Bodie pressed outwards with his back inside him, letting him go, flickering the sphincter, his fingers sucked in as his body tip of his tongue against the small slit, then contracted again. Oh, yes, his arse was ready,
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as ready as he was. He sucked Doyle into his allowing himself to surrender to the joy of mouth again, and there was a keening cry of making Ray happy, his own body alive with pleasure and the liquid suction of Bodie’s lips the feeling of having Ray inside him. reluctantly freeing the wet cock. Bodie would It was incredible, literally, a dream come have preferred something a bit more lasting true, and Bodie lost himself in it. Nothing than saliva, but he’d been fucked often enough existed but him and Doyle, together, become that he wasn’t too tight any more, not the way one, Doyle in him, Doyle fucking him, Doyle he had been at first. He’d learned, oh, how he loving him. For he could tell himself that, with had learned to take a man inside. Doyle umbrella-ing him, with Doyle saying Bodie was on his knees now, Doyle coming those shattering words to him. Love. Words of round behind him, both of them carried along love coming into Bodie from Doyle’s mouth, by the heat of the moment and the waves of words and words and words, all of it flooding need coursing through them. And for Bodie, him, and Doyle was in him, fucking him, cock the insistent croon of love that was inside. plundering him, heat inside him. It hit Bodie: This, having Ray wrapped around him, strong Doyle had come, inside him, deep, deep arms banding his chest, hair tickling his inside him, was collapsing heavy on top of back, cock thrusting hard and demanding him, cock still clutched in the darkness of between his thighs, the slick head of Doyle’s Bodie’s arse. A hand grabbing Bodie, milking cock pressing into his balls, this was what he him, Doyle still whispering words to him, wanted. This feeling of Doyle encircling him, hand blurring in perfect motion, cock still covering him, possessing him. But Bodie was inside him, still hard, the slickness of cum not yet complete, his own aching loneliness a melting the heart of him. chasm in his body, a hollowness crying out Bodie was coming, a stream of pleasure for Doyle. erupting from him, captured by Doyle’s long- A fumbling, a stifled groan, and then it fingered hand, rubbed into his belly, the happened: the moist head of Doyle’s cock aroma of his own musk filling his nostrils. pressing at Bodie, his arse opening so readily, Slow, slow circling caresses on Bodie’s belly, so easily, to the demands of the flesh. Saliva Doyle heavy on his back, and then they had commingled with pre-cum, mixed with ex- collapsed together on the bed, Bodie flat on perience and yielding love, and Bodie was his stomach, Doyle sprawled beside him, one open wide, Doyle pushing into him, the hand trapped under Bodie. Awareness beautiful cock stretching him with delectable creeping in on Bodie, and then Doyle was care. There was a flash of pain, but Bodie asleep, a limp weight beside Bodie, and Bodie welcomed even that as a signature of his love was in limbo, neither awake nor asleep, being inside him, and then the pain was gone, wholly absorbed with the memorising of this forgotten, subsumed by the exquisite pleasure night’s pleasure. of cock against his prostate, of cock filling And most of all, with this night’s words. As him, of cock marking him as Doyle’s. Doyle’s Bodie began to fade into sleep, he shifted breath was against his neck, he could hear Doyle into a more comfortable position, then the guttural moans and, with shivering wrapped himself around his partner, reliving happiness tingling his spine, the words of words he never expected to hear again. Until affection, the endearments uttered by a drink- the next time they got drunk. Until the next loosened tongue. A tongue that was laving time Doyle could tell himself that they were him now, and a mouth that was nibbling on both too pickled to know what they were him, while hands caressed his chest, and doing. sharp hip-bones bruised his arse as Doyle Unless, of course, when Doyle woke up he fucked him. Harder and harder, with Bodie remembered everything and blamed Bodie. It pushing back to meet every inward thrust, would be typical of Doyle, to take his own fucking himself on Doyle’s cock, wanting to feelings of guilt out on Bodie, and lay all of it please Ray beyond all else. He arched his at Bodie’s feet. But Bodie knew he could take back, letting himself give voice to his pleasure, that, had done so, in the past. Bodie could
90 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 M. FAE GLASGOW £3£3£3 PART I: IN THE BEGINNING £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 take anything, as long as he didn’t lose Doyle. into the pillows. He could take anything at all… “I got the impression,” Doyle asked him, With his partner and erstwhile, temporary voice very gentle, “that last night wasn’t lover warm against him, Bodie drifted off to exactly your first time?” reluctant sleep. “For being fucked?” “Yeh. I was scared I was going to hurt you Bodie was stiff, and sticky, and it took not when you shoved yourself at me like that, one second for him to remember the why’s but…” and the wherefore’s. But it took him almost “But you didn’t, did you, mate?” two seconds to realise that the presence in There was a rueful chuckle behind Bodie, bed beside him was awake, and watchful. affectionate enough to make him turn round “You awake?” Doyle said. and look at Doyle. Bodie considered lying, considered pre- “Christ,” Doyle shrugged, reacting to the tending that he was still asleep so that he way Bodie had said ‘mate’. “I actually told you could stay where he was and relish another about that, didn’t I?” And incredibly, Doyle few minutes of being with Doyle, of being in was reaching out, fingers tracing the arch of Doyle’s bed, with the evidence of their love- Bodie’s eyebrows, the proscenium of his making dried upon him. To lie there in the lashes. “Must’ve been drunker than I thought.” arms of his dream for another little while, Bodie could see Doyle waiting for some- until reality and sobriety made themselves thing, and when he finally listened to what felt. he’d just heard, he realised precisely what “Bodie, I asked you, are you awake?” had been inferred. “Drunker than you “Yeh,” he muttered, hoping that Doyle thought?” Bodie pushed up onto one elbow, wouldn’t kill him, that Doyle had forgotten blinking rapidly as Doyle turned the bedside everything that had happened the night be- light on. “You—you mean to tell me you were fore and would suffer from a sudden bout of sober last night?” extreme stupidity and thus fail to recognise “Sober as a judge.” the signs of sex all over the bed. “Oh, in that case, you were plastered, “How’s your head?” then.” So, Bodie realised, drunkenness was going “No, just tippled enough to give myself a bit to be their excuse. Fair enough: it was the of Dutch courage. And,” Doyle looked down, best he’d expected. away from Bodie, before impaling Bodie with “Which one? The one attached to my a searching gaze, “to give myself an excuse if shoulders with a herd of fairy elephants in it, you weren’t that way inclined.” or the one that’s floating above the bed, It was Bodie’s turn to caress well-known spinning round and round in circles?” Join- features, to learn them tactually as well as ing in the show, not letting on at all that he’d visually. “Worried, were you?” been completely aware of what they had done “Course I was! Thought you wanted me, and why. but I might’ve just been seeing what I wanted “Mine’s…” to see. So…” The pause made Bodie wonder: Doyle didn’t “After what I said yesterday morning, you usually let not knowing what to say keep him decided to give it a go, and set yourself up as quiet. In fact, Doyle was prone to opening his drunk so that I couldn’t object too much.” big mouth without thought of consequence “Yeh,” and the familiar urchin grin was when he could least afford to. back, Doyle oozing confidence, and a relatively “My head’s fine,” Doyle said finally. simple delight. “You should appreciate the It took a minute or two for it to register with brilliance of that, my lad, and learn from it.” Bodie. Doyle always got the worst hangovers “Oh, that was incredible—can you do when he’d been really drunk. So if he didn’t Cowley?” have one this morning— “Nah—he wears cast-iron knickers.” “So’s mine,” but Bodie said it quietly, and “Has anyone ever told you you’ve got a dirty
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mind?” Ray—hadn’t been turned off by last night. No, “Only after I got to know you and you his Ray wanted more, wanted it to be a proper corrupted poor little innocent me.” relationship—“if you have to cancel going “Innocent! You? Christ, Doyle, you prob- out,” meant dates, meant being together— ably winked at the mid-wife.” and by the cat-got-the-cream look of him, “Don’t be disgusting, Bodie.” A glint of a Ray’d also thoroughly enjoyed the night be- smile, then, “Didn’t start any of that till I got fore. And ‘hard and fast’, well, Bodie shouldn’t my hand up Mary Morrison’s skirt at Con- be surprised by that, should he? They both firmation.” knew what the job could be like, what a man “You randy old toad!” could need afterwards. And that feral mas- “Randy young toad back then. And we’ll culinity of Doyle’s was one of the things that have none of the old comments now, either. had attracted Bodie most, after the wickedly I’m only two years older than you.” amused eyes. He feasted his eyes on the “Three, if you start counting straight after vision of Ray lying naked in bed with him, your birthday.” small pink nipples peaked in anticipation, “No chance. Two full years as the calendar full lips parted in invitation. “Can I ask you flies.” something?” They both stopped abruptly, swallowed, Doyle looked at him steadily. lay for a moment looking at each other. It was “Can I kiss you, Ray?” sinking in, under the banter and the light- Doyle grinned at him, left arm snaking up heartedness of their usual backchat. Sinking to pull Bodie down to him. “Course you can,” in that last night they had fucked. That last Doyle purred at him, mouth opening, tongue night, they had changed all the rules. Bodie coming into Bodie, taking possession of Bodie’s was very serious, fidgeting with the edge of mouth, stopping his heart with delight. the blanket, then visibly gathering his cour- There was an elation in Bodie then, at this age and saying, “I don’t want last night to be proof that Doyle wasn’t some basically straight a one off.” bloke flirting with a bit of the bent side of sex: “I should bloody well hope not. It’s not blokes like that didn’t kiss like this. Most of everyday we get a chance like this, Bodie.” them, in fact, didn’t kiss at all, for that was the “Yeh,” Bodie agreed. Continued, carefully last bastion, the one thing that could be finding out the parameters of their new re- refused, for kissing meant queer and kissing lationship, “Won’t have to explain about the meant affection. Or for Bodie, with Doyle in a job to you.” bed rumpled from their passion, kissing meant “Or buy me flowers if you have to work late love. and cancel going out at the last minute.” Sighing into Doyle’s mouth, Bodie lay down “Won’t have to come up with an excuse for and let his lover lie on top of him. His mouth leaving early when the phone rings.” was filled with Ray Doyle, his senses over- “Or needing sex hard and fast after a rotten flowing with him. And Bodie could never have day.” enough of it. Bodie sighed again, opening his “No,” Bodie agreed, smiling, happiness mouth and his legs to Ray Doyle and sur- beginning to overwhelm him. Doyle—his rendered completely, ecstatically, to love.
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IT WAS GOING WRONG, and he knew it. What he right?” didn’t know was how to mend it. “What’s wrong with seeing me tonight, or “Bodie,” Doyle began, getting only an ab- tomorrow or Wednesday?” stracted grunt in reply. “Pay attention, Bodie,” “We’re off-duty. And I don’t want to live in he joked, casting a worried glance at his lover your pocket, Doyle.” Which was approximately whilst continuing to polish the chrome on his opposite of the truth, but safer by far to say. bike. Doyle polished a square inch of chrome “What?” Bodie said, not looking at him. furiously, frowning all the while, and then It was that kind of thing that was niggling saying, actually coming right out and saying at Doyle. There had been no argument, no it. “You want out, then?” falling out, nothing, but now he felt as if it “Of CI5? Nah. It’s not much, but it’s the were all slipping away, dissolving in his hands best game in town, you know that.” like salt in water. He couldn’t get a grip on it, “It wasn’t that I meant, so don’t come over couldn’t even see it, but he knew it was there. all innocent with me, Bodie.” Doyle looked Felt it, every time Bodie went off into a world him straight in the eye this time, defying him of his own, or ogled some bloke—or some to either lie or say yes. “D’you want out of us?” bird, or both together—in the street. Or when That pulled Bodie up short. “Want out? Bodie would refuse an offer of a night out, Christ, Ray, don’t be so fucking stupid. What disappearing for however long their leave would I want out for? Eh? Tell me that?” lasted, coming back to him some time later. “Yeh, but that’s the problem, innit? I can’t Sometimes a few days, sometimes a couple of tell you that, but I can see you gettin’ itchy weeks, but the old togetherness was becoming feet. You’re goin’ to walk soon, aren’t you, worn and patchy, an uncertain rug under Bodie? You’re going to leave me.” their feet, bare spots to trip the unwary. Well, And Bodie heard the unspoken: Just like he was wary now, had to be. Because if he everybody else. He groaned, turned away, weren’t, Doyle had a feeling he was going to stared out of the window for a moment, then loose Bodie. turned back to Doyle. “Look, love,” he said, It bothered Doyle, that Bodie hadn’t even knowing Doyle needed the comfort of words noticed the long pause, that Bodie was so that were usually confined to the bedroom, “I badly attuned to him that no comment had don’t want out. It’s just… All this—” and his been made about his own moodiness and encompassing arm took in the flat, the cosy silence. “Look,” he finally said, blurting it out, scene of them working on the bike together “there’s something wrong with you and you’d like an old married couple, the perfectly better tell me what.” normal life outside the job, “it’s not enough, Bodie looked at Doyle then, a cold stare, of not for me. And it’s not your fault, there’s the sort usually reserved for commanding nothing you can do about that,” he rushed to officers who had boot-licked their way to the reassure, “it’s me.” top. “Been watching Agony again, have you?” “So I’m not good enough, is that it? You Bodie went back to his newspaper, cutting bastard, you’ve been going on and on about Doyle out, a page turning, then he rose to his how much you love me, and all the time you feet. “I’m off,” he announced, baldly, not want someone better? Tell me, Bodie darling, looking to see what effect his words had on his who am I when you’re in bed with me? Eh? partner. “I’ll see you at work on Thursday, all Who do you pretend I am?” The pain ripped
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through the room, stripping Doyle bare, Bodie’s heart was still racing, thundering showing a depth to him that was white from in his chest, breath fast and shallow. He being kept hidden so long and so well. walked for a long time, needing to get the “It’s not that at all, Ray and don’t you go anger out of the way, needing to let the pain twisting what I’m saying. I’m trying to ex- subside. Christ, but he couldn’t take much plain—” more of this! But he couldn’t leave Doyle “Oh yeh? Trying to explain what? Trying to either. Caught between a rock and a hard explain that I’m not enough, that I can’t give place, nowhere to turn, nowhere to go, and all you enough? Then you tell me this, Bodie. I he could see was the slow acid erosion of his fuck when you want to fuck, I hold you when relationship with Doyle. you want me to hold you, I stick by you when At the door of the Club, Bodie hesitated, no-one else’ll touch you with a barge-pole. I’m thinking about the consequences of going in the one who listens to you after a job, or when there, running the same old argument round you’re hurt. I’m the one you come to if you and round again. It was this secret that had need anything and I’m the one who gives you come between them, this secret that was every single fucking thing you’ve ever asked destroying the trust they both needed. But for. And now you’re telling me that’s not then his mind cleared, and he recognised enough? So go on, Prince Charming, you tell that it wasn’t his secret that was the problem, me what is enough. You tell me what you it was the fact that it had to be kept secret, need that I’m not giving you.” that it was something he couldn’t tell Doyle “You don’t want to know, Doyle.” Warning, about. That was where the problem lay, and loud and clear as an air raid siren. there was a way out of that. He could tell Ray, Doyle ignored it, ploughing on. “Don’t want lay his cards out flat on the table, and if Ray to know? I just fucking asked you, so how can couldn’t handle him having another outlet, you say I don’t want to know? What you one that Bodie knew from life-experience that mean, Bodie, is that you don’t want to tell he couldn’t be complete without, then Ray me.” could walk. But the choice would have to be “Yeh, that’s it. You’re right, I don’t want to Ray’s, because Bodie couldn’t make the break. tell you, I don’t want you to know. And if you Not for all the tea in China could he even don’t like it, then tough titty, Doyle, because contemplate leaving Ray, the furious argu- that’s the way it is.” Bodie’s voice was growing ments and slow dissolution notwithstanding. bitter now, with the disappointment of a It was the same decision Bodie came to relationship that was proving false for him. every time he stood on this doorstep. Tonight, No matter how much he loved Doyle, what though, the metallic bite of fear filling his they had simply wasn’t enough to fulfil him mouth made him wonder if this time, he completely. “You don’t own me, mate,” he might actually do it. said, tinged with something like sadness, The thought terrified him, and so he pushed “and don’t you forget it.” it aside, opting instead for the thing he had “Now hang on just a minute, Bodie! You stormed out on Doyle for. Bodie raised his owe me an explanation, mate. You can’t just hand, knocked in the accepted code, and was walk out of here—” permitted to enter. “Can’t I? You just watch me, Doyle. You just stand there and watch me!” It was worse the next day for Doyle, and the The door slammed shut, cutting them off, next, and by Thursday, his misery had worked one from the other, only the echoing anger of itself up into a fine temper. their words left to keep Doyle company. “Oh, look at what the cat dragged in,” was Slowly, he sat down, picked up the polish what Doyle said by way of greeting when he and began to buff a piece that was dull and bumped into Bodie in the corridor. “Glad to tarnished, as if by shining that up, he could see CI5’s finest managed to find his way to take the bitter tarnish off his own life. work all by himself.” “And good morning to you an’ all, mate,”
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Bodie muttered to the retreating back, praying both of them, quite simply unbearable. Bodie that Cowley had a ton of work for them to do, didn’t want to upset Doyle, didn’t want to not relishing the threat of spending the day bring him anything but pleasure and comfort stuck in a car with Doyle if all they had to do and belonging, but Bodie could see no way of was sit and watch some house. And hoping, accomplishing that without destroying what frantically hoping, that this was nothing more little they had left. than another of Doyle’s spectacular sulks “Fancy a drink tonight?” Bodie asked out that would blow over eventually. It was one of the corner of his mouth, not turning full thing for Bodie to say that he could take round, not with Cowley’s gimlet glare mere anything, it was quite something else to bear yards away. the cutting edge of Doyle’s anger. Doyle felt no such constraints. He turned, A carbon copy of the day that had started abandoning all pretence of scouring blank their relationship in the first place, it was a walls for hidden terrorists and delivered a stultifyingly routine job: one that would have glower of which even Cowley would have been been boring, but for the tension that snapped proud. and crackled between them, the simplest Bodie wouldn’t budge. “Go on,” he whis- exchange turned into vilification and argu- pered, “come and have a drink with me. We ment. Part of Bodie wanted to argue, to fight could go to that Indian place you like. Or even back tooth and claw, but he didn’t. Couldn’t, better, we could go round—” because it was his fault. It was Bodie who had “I don’t want a fucking drink with you, attacked Doyle’s masculinity (in Doyle’s eyes, Bodie. In fact, I don’t even want to see your anyway, Bodie knew), it was Bodie who had face or hear you voice, d’you get me?” It was said that what they had together wasn’t the most Doyle had said to Bodie all day, and enough. And it was because there wasn’t it revealed as much agony as it caused. “Fuck enough trust in Bodie for him to tell Doyle off, Bodie, and find yourself some other mug why it was all falling apart around them. to mess about.” Their relationship was winding down, to “I’m not messing you about—” an ending, or winding up, to a confession, “Well, well, well, it does have a brain after and thence, an ending. Either way, it was all,” Doyle said with all the sarcasm at his over, or would be, soon enough. Bodie could command. “Yeh, you’re fucking right you’re see that quite clearly in the masked pain not messing me about. Not any more. As of every time Doyle looked at him, could feel it in Monday night, if you want to be precise about his own enervating depression as he con- it.” templated coming out into the open and A fist of panic hit Bodie in the gut, Doyle’s watching Doyle walk away in disgust. There hissed fury more than the usual huff, far was always a chance, of course, that Doyle more than any mere temper tantrum. “C’mon, would want the same things he did, or more Ray,” he whispered, the beginnings of des- likely, be willing to turn a blind eye. But how peration churning him up, “don’t. It was just long would that last, with Doyle’s posses- a fight, we’ve had them before—” siveness and jealousies? “But we won’t be having them again.” Bodie glanced at Doyle, who was standing “All right, so I won’t argue with you again, beside him, the perfect picture of the perfect that’s fine. But you’ve got to talk to me—” team, but they both knew differently. The old “Oh, I’ll talk to you, all right. On the job. tacit communication was gone, strangled by But if you come near me after work, the only a lack of trust and an anger fed by pain. thing I’ll say to you is stuff you don’t want to Doyle’s face was drawn and pinched, bags hear.” under the eyes and lines there that Bodie had “Ray—” never noticed before. The lips were tight- “I said,” and Doyle was dangerously furi- compressed, clenched shut to keep God knew ous now, “fuck off, Bodie.” what bloodying comments in, words always Bodie subsided, battered by Doyle’s un- one of Doyle’s more lethal skills. It was, for mitigated anger and by Cowley’s frowning
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stare. Silent as the tomb, Bodie stood beside peculiar way of showing it.” Doyle, and knew that they’d never been The voice was right behind Doyle now, farther apart emotionally than they were breath stirring the lighter curls, tangling in right now. Even at the very beginning, when the heavy ringlets at his nape. “Didn’t know Doyle had been hostile and contemptuous of what else to do. Didn’t know how to tell you, an ex-merc gun-runner, it had never been did I? I mean, I couldn’t just come out and say like this. Back then, the hatred had been it, could I?” impersonal, simply directed at Bodie for what “You just did, Bodie. Or was that another he had once been. But this—this was personal, bit of strategy?” intensely so, piercing every chink in Bodie’s “It was desperation, that’s what it was. armour, cutting him to shreds. Cowley, bowing Christ, Doyle, half CI5 is wandering round unctuously, was playing civil servant to the here, Cowley can hear flies fuck three miles hilt, seeing the ubiquitous foreign diplomat away, and you’ve got me standing here telling out the door, the outside team taking over. you I love you and complaining that I’m only Bodie and Doyle were suddenly alone. doing it for show? Come on,” he let himself “Ray, listen to me. Okay, so you’re angry plead, more than willing to beg this man, with me—” “come home with me after work. Let me talk “Always this quick, are you?” Again, acid- to you.” drenched sarcasm, Doyle giving no quarter. “Got a good excuse all worked out, have “But at least let me explain.” you? One of the lines you use on your birds?” “Oh, you want me to come and have a drink Bodie took a deep breath, exhaled, started with you and waste my evening off to sit and the painful process of laying himself out for listen to you come up with a pack of lies.” vivisection by Doyle’s less than tender mer- Doyle laughed then, very nastily. “Why? So cies. “No. It’ll be the truth, although you won’t that you can salve my ego and get me back like it.” into bed with you? What’s the matter, Bodie? “That bad, eh? What is it? A wife and ten Worried that your on-tap source of sex is kids? A predilection for kiddie-porn?” going to dry up on you?” His gaze raked Bodie “Bad enough.” from top to bottom, concluding with a con- But Doyle noted that Bodie denied none of temptuous sneer at Bodie’s groin. “Oh, what it, leaving him to wonder and worry. Doyle a shame. My heart fucking bleeds for you.” was, he considered, an extremely worldly and With that, Doyle was walking, boot-heels broad-minded person, but Bodie had not clicking on the parquet floor, jacket flapping only been round the merry-go-round a few with the speed of his retreat. Doyle was times, the bastard had been on the swings, refusing to take it any more, Bodie lying to big dipper and ghost train as well. But if it him the way he’d seen Bodie lie to a hundred were really nothing more disgusting than birds. he was damned if he was going to put Bodie needing a bit of spice in his life, a variety up with it. of men, then he had to decide what he was But there was a part of Doyle listening still, going to do about it. hoping that Bodie would come up with an Funny, Bodie with women didn’t bother excuse for him to stay, to mend the broken him, to the point where that was something fences before his heart broke. that they hadn’t even needed to discuss, but Bodie said, the one thing that could make the thought of Bodie needing to go to another Doyle stop, the one thing that Bodie had man emasculated Doyle—and infuriated him. never said anywhere else before apart from in It was all right for some to have these open the bedroom. “I love you, you know that, don’t relationships, but not him, oh, no, not him. you?” Bodie was his, completely or not at all, and “Do I?” Doyle said, keeping his back to Doyle neither could nor would accept half a Bode and his face turned away. Not letting loaf. Bodie see, not letting Bodie know how much Unless, perhaps, it was half a loaf or none Doyle needed him. “You’ve got a fucking at all. It was that question, that thorn in his
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was the one thing he would not forgive. “So then finally looked Doyle straight in the eye. you were going to tell me your excuse for all “Power,” he said. this shite you’ve been pulling with me.” “You what? What the hell are you going on Bodie didn’t answer, postponing the de- about, Bodie?” But Doyle had an inkling, a nouement for another few moments, this the small germinating idea, and he wanted to hardest thing he’d ever done, SAS, Northern know the rest of it before he permitted himself Ireland, Africa all included. “Okay,” he said a reaction. He lashed his temper down tight, when Doyle stirred, restless, “okay. It’s just and listened. hard, y’know, to come out and say it. You “Power. And domination. Pain, the kind know, flat out like.” that’s actually pleasure.” “You managed that today when you wanted “Are you trying to tell me,” Doyle said, to stop me. Or was I right about that as well velvet whisper over steely ire, “that all this and it was all just more lies?” crap, all this fuss I’ve been through is because “Nah. I meant what I said today. Never had you’re into S&M and were too fucking scared the balls to say it before, that’s all.” to tell me?” There was a long pause, which Bodie filled “Yeh.” Not quite defiant, wariness taking for himself by busying about with the tea. the braggadocio out of Bodie’s words. “Have “I’m not going to waste my whole evening been for years.” on this, Bodie,” Doyle said, sounding for all Almost whispered, a test being given, Doyle the world as if he were bored, whilst his heart asked him: “And if I told you you had to trip-hammered away to itself. choose either me or it?” Doyle was sitting opposite him on the “Then I’d choose you. But I wouldn’t be settee, and Bodie was reminded of the day on able to keep away from it, and if I did, then I’d Brownie’s boat, or any number of times, go back to being the bloody bamstick I was when Doyle wore sun-glasses and was as when I was in Africa. And I won’t be like that frosty and welcoming as ice. Welcoming or again, Ray.” not, Bodie knew that Doyle’s patience was “So you’re telling me that you’d lie to me? gone and Bodie had to tell him now. You’d spew your lies about loving me, and “Okay,” Bodie said again, forgetting all then go off somewhere to some big hairy bloke about role playing and machismo, forgetting with tattoos and have your arse flogged and about pleasing Doyle and thinking about your tits clamped?” nothing other than having to tell the truth. A “No, because I don’t go for big hairy blokes lie now might get him out of this particular with tattoos,” Bodie snapped, regretting his jam, but Doyle would turn him into mince- outburst immediately. He didn’t want to push meat when he found out. So the truth it had his luck: Doyle was actually taking his ad- to be, if he had any chance of rekindling the mission about the S&M quite well, considering trust between them. “I wasn’t buttering you the bigotry he usually got from people. “But up when I said it wasn’t you. You know, me yeah, to be honest, I’d go back to the Club going off like that. It’s nothing you’re doing, or because I can’t give it up any more than you anything.” could give up everyday sex.” Doyle didn’t move, barely blinked, com- “The Club? And what the fuck is the club pletely impassive, focussed intently on when it’s at home?” analysing every word Bodie said. Bodie shrugged, feeling like a lamb being “It’s more…well, it’s something you’re not led to the slaughter, but having to go all the doing. Not that I blame you, or expect you to same, wondering all the while that Doyle do it, or anything like that. It’s just…there are hadn’t asked the usual questions or raised some things I need and you can’t give them the usual issues of spurious morality. “It’s a me.” private members club, same as all the others, “Such as?” The tip of the iceberg indeed, so only difference is that in our place, all the much hidden under those calm words. members are men and all of us like some Bodie looked everywhere but at Doyle, pretty specialised stuff.”
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Doyle leaned back, the pose he adopted all sweetness and light, and that—well, that during suspect interviews. “What kind of told me everything I needed to know.” men?” Doyle glared at him, fiercely, devouring Another shrug, while his mind raced. Doyle Bodie with his eyes, demanding that all the hadn’t asked what kind of specialised stuff, truth be laid out on the table between them, but what kind of men. Perhaps Doyle’s jeal- where he could see it. “Even if you thought I ousy was actually going to help here. “Most wasn’t interested, why didn’t you tell me?” kinds. A lot of Service blokes, quite a few from “Because you wouldn’t understand, that’s the Intelligence Services, doctors, lawyers, why! Outsiders never do.” Indian Chiefs. All sorts, really.” “And what wouldn’t I have understood?” “And you let anyone who fancies it have a “You want it all, don’t you? You want all the go at you?” gory details. All right, I’ll tell you. But don’t “Not anyone. But sometimes, depending blame me if you don’t like hearing it.” He on what I need…” stopped for a breath, composed himself a A long silence, while Doyle digested this, little against the pain and embarrassment fingers playing with a loose thread on the within. “I go both ways, Top and bottom, giver inner seam of his jeans. “Why’d you never tell and taker. But a lot of the time that’s only me? Didn’t you trust me enough?” because of the way I look. People expect me to “It wasn’t a question of trust!” be a Top, so I end up doing that a bit more “Wasn’t it? What else was it then? Some- often than I’d like. What I really like is being thing like this and you can’t tell me about it? a bottom, Ray, and don’t tell me that it You’d rather fuck the relationship up, bugger wouldn’t have fucked us up royally once you the partnership, and all because you didn’t found out that your big tough partner liked to trust me enough to stick by you?” be tied up and made to beg to have his arse Bodie didn’t know how to answer that, so thrashed.” he kept silent. “So you decided to wait until things were “What’d you think I was going to, throw up already up the spout before you trusted me in disgust?” Doyle demanded, temper rising. enough to say anything?” Doyle’s voice was “Come off it, Bodie, I’m not a shrinking no longer unadulterated anger. There was fucking violet.” something else in there, underneath the fury, “Look, Ray, I hinted at it a couple of times, mingling with what might have been relief. and you weren’t interested. And it’s not exactly “You waited until there was nothing left to everyone’s cup of tea, is it?” lose before you’d risk telling me with the “So you were trying to protect my poor truth.” sensibilities. Nice of you,” Doyle sneered. “No, I waited till now because I didn’t want “And it must’ve been some bloody hinting, to risk you.” Bodie rubbed his hand across Bodie, because I never even noticed. What’d his face, worn out by emotionalism. “Ray, you do? Something subtle, like walk out on have you any idea how often I’ve lost someone me and not tell me where you were going?” because they don’t understand about what I Bodie winced, looked down at his shoes. need? Because they can’t see that what I am “I take it, by the way, that that’s why you in the bedroom or someone’s blackroom is wouldn’t come near me for days at a time? only a bit of me, not all of me?” Letting the welts heal, were you? Waiting till “Oh, yeah, that’s right. Outsiders don’t the bruises had faded so that I wouldn’t guess understand.” Doyle paused there, waiting and try to make myself a part of your life there until Bodie heard his silence and looked up at as well?” him. Then, and only then, he said: “But what “Ray, I’ve already told you, it had nothing about insiders, Bodie?” to do with trust.” Bodie was shouting, partly And Bodie stared at him, astonished. He’d because he couldn’t bear to hear Ray mock hoped that at best, maybe Doyle would be him like that. “Listen, mate, every time I willing to give it a try, but he’d been sure that asked you to be a bit harder with me, you’d go Doyle was the sort who had his fill of aggro
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and power-plays in his work, and didn’t want relationship appalled Bodie and flailed him to come home to it as well, no matter how with guilt. much love was part of it. “You?” and he “This friend of mine… He was ex-Services couldn’t help sounding utterly incredulous. as well, same as you. Anyway, he was a really “You’re one of us?” complicated man, I never knew quite where I “Used to be.” Doyle looked away, turning stood with him. He used to be a Top too, but inwards, reliving something usually only he’d given it up, before he even met me. And glimpsed at, something best left fallow. he never would tell me why he’d given it up, “Used to be?” Bodie leaned forward, elbows just kept on telling me I ought to stop it. But on knees, hands loosely clasped between his I wouldn’t, and although I kept on waiting for thighs. “What made you stop?” it to happen, he never left me.” A laugh redolent with bitterness then, and Bodie was beginning to understand a bit Doyle sprang to his feet, going over to stand more clearly why Doyle had been so upset by at the window, his hand running through his the silences and the secrets. hair. “Quite the night for true confessions, “He’d turn a blind eye whenever I went out, innit?” he said, and his voice was shaken, you know, pretended I wasn’t still doing all and there was a tremble deep inside him, as that.” Doyle chuckled, obviously remember- the purulent memories resurfaced, grinning ing some of the good times he had had in the at him like skulls. “Fair’s fair, I suppose,” he past. “I used to get into some really heavy- muttered, to his own reflection in the window. duty stuff, serious, you know, not just play- He laughed again, briefly, a sound sad enough ing at it—and I was bloody good, as well. to draw blood. “Grown-ups playing I’ll show Anyway, I was always a Top, never fancied the you mine if you show me yours, isn’t it?” other.” Another stiletto of laughter. “Never “You don’t have to tell me, Ray,” Bodie said, trusted anyone enough before him, to be not because it was true, but because he hated honest. To cut a long story short, we’d been seeing Doyle hurting like this. together for quite a while, and he’d stopped “Yeh I do, and you know it. You’ve done saying anything about what I did on the side. your bit, it’s up to me now. You were right He even started taking an interest, you know, about the first bit being the hardest.” He saying he was worried about me, saying that turned for a second, a flash of genuine he wanted to make sure I was all right, that amusement in his eyes, “Fancy another cuppa, I wasn’t getting in too deep.” do you?” Doyle stopped then, and simply stared out “Yeah, why not?” Bodie said, hefting his of the window, his face a picture of misery. own half-full mug. “I’ll have a whole fucking Bodie waited patiently, knowing how hard it pot of tea, if you need a bit of time.” had been for him to simply face what he had “Nah. Just being a coward. Hate going expected—bigotry and revulsion—and through this.” An enormous sigh, and then thinking how much harder this must be for Doyle spoke, his voice devoid of self-pity, a Doyle to confess to. sere recitation of facts that revealed more of “Then he came to me and said…” Doyle his turmoil than histrionics ever would. “I swallowed hard, then went on, “he said that had a friend once, someone I’ve never told you to be a really good Top, you had to be a bottom about. I really cared about him. I mean, really at least once. Course, I was thrilled—Christ, cared about him, Bodie. You’re the only I was a right fool over him, wasn’t I? I couldn’t person I’ve ever loved more than him.” believe my luck that he’d changed his mind, The casual admission of love shocked Bodie that he actually wanted to get into a scene to the soles of his shoes. He’d thought all of with me. So I convinced myself that it must’ve that sort of stuff had been pillow-talk, the been that he’d got jaded before, but because kind of thing said during sex and rejected the he loved me so much, he wanted to get back rest of the time as sentimental codswallop. To into it. I’d never wanted to be a bottom, Bodie, think that Ray had meant it, all of it, but had always hated the idea. But I was in love with felt that there was no place for it in their him, and he said he was doing it because he
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with him now, trying to bring him closer. “It so I wouldn’t be forced into something that’s was rape, exactly like rape,” he repeated, not natural for me. And I want you to do those needing to make Ray understand, desperate things to me, and I can take a lot, Ray, I can to undo the festering damage the un-named take—and enjoy—everything you can give bastard had done with his violence disguised me. So it wouldn’t be the same, even if you did ‘cure’, “because he forced you and hurt you exactly the same physical things to me that and—” he did to you, because I want it.” “Betrayed me, yeh, I know. But…” “Do you? Do you really? Or is just a “But what?” conditioned response of your body?” Doyle “But look at me, Bodie! Just look at me. All was asking himself, not Bodie, but he still around me, everything about me is violent. had no answers for himself. My temper, my work, even the sports I like— “So you enjoyed some of it at the time, then, shooting for one. And then he took sex and did you?” Bodie answered, putting two and twisted it all up with violence and deceit two together and responding from a well of and—Christ, Bodie, I was terrified that he’d supreme calm deep inside him. He under- corrupted me. And what if he has? What if I’m stood, perfectly, Doyle’s reaction both at the right and him bringing violence into my sex time and later, and now he could see the path life—what am I saying, sex life? I was in love out of this, could see a way to keep them with him. And he kept on telling me that he together forever. All he had to do was trust was only showing me the truth, he was just Ray implicitly, with everything about himself, showing me what a sick bastard I was. What and he’d already done the worst of that. He if he’s corrupted me about love too?” knew Ray wasn’t going to go running off in “Ray, love,” Bodie whispered, caressing horror or disgust because of what he liked, Doyle’s cheek, kissing him lightly, “what was and fear of that was what had come between I complaining about? I was saying that every them. And the rest of it was easy, for him. time I wanted it rough, you’d go all gentle and The dread was gone now, and all that was lovey-dovey on me. Now, does that sound like left was the trust, and the love. Bodie smiled, a man who’s got violence and love mixed up?” broadly, happiness growing in him as he saw “That’s what people say about S&M.” just how rosy the future looked. “Ray, I trust “And we know the truth. And I want you to you with my life every day of the week, near be my Top.” enough, barring days off. So it stands to Even Doyle’s breathing stopped, for a reason, doesn’t it? If I can trust you like that, moment, and then started again, rough with then what’s the sex, but the icing on the emotion and unease. “No. I’d hurt you…” cake?” “I should bloody-well hope so,” Bodie an- “You still don’t get it, do you? What he did swered him, seductively. to me, Bodie—yeh, you’re right, some of it I “I don’t mean like that, you daft git. I mean enjoyed in a twisted kind of way, at the time, the way he hurt me. I might, Bodie. He but that was only to get me through what he might’ve screwed me up more than…” Doyle was doing to me. I couldn’t believe he was tailed off, contemplating something dreadful. doing that to me—god, what he did was on “Only one way to find out,” and Bodie said, par with the Spanish Inquisition.” One step, and he sounded too cheerful, too hearty, as if that realisation, that splitting what had been none of this were important and recognised it done to him in cruel morality from what he for the mistake it was the second Doyle did for pleasure and for love, and then he had tensed and pulled free from his arms. Bodie in his arms, or he was in Bodie’s, the “Don’t you ever listen to me, you fucking two of them holding on to each other. “It had twat? I can’t trust myself, Bodie. And what nothing to do with sex,” Doyle said, and would I do if I hurt you, eh? What would I do meant it, and believed it, his own guilt dis- if I betrayed you the way he did it to me? You appeared and his self-loathing sinking fast. just tell me that.” “And as for love and trust—” he whispered, to “You couldn’t, because I like being bottom, the man he loved and trusted despite all his
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out, and it was the only way left to him that relieved beyond belief that there was nothing would not either disappoint or betray his more to it than the sweet lure of giving and lover. receiving pleasure. “Take your clothes off,” Doyle said, and “Where are your things?” he asked, tugging trusted Bodie enough that Bodie would choose on the silken hair, fingers darting down to not to hear the tremble in his voice. pluck at a nipple. “Yes, sir,” Bodie answered, doing as he was “In my wardrobe, sir, the one where I keep told, stripping and folding clothes with mili- my old uniforms. I keep it locked, sir. The tary precision and a very Bodie-like economy keys are in a plastic bag inside the talc of movement. Perfectly naked, he stood in container. The Imperial Leather, sir.” front of Doyle, head still bowed, waiting for “Oh, I like your choice of hiding place. Doyle to take further command, to dole out Don’t move a muscle. I may be kind enough pleasure and punishment—and was there to select a few items for my amusement,” really a difference? For Bodie, no, there was Doyle said, sliding back into the role with all no difference at all.—as Doyle saw fit. the comfort of real need. He left Bodie kneeling “Get into the bedroom.” there and went to the wardrobe, finding the Bodie went, a frisson of delight dancing on keys in the ironic hiding place, unlocking the his spine as he felt Doyle’s gaze linger on his inner drawers, uncovering a treasure trove of body. There was the question of how far Doyle toys. There was everything he could wish for was willing to go, and he hoped his Top would in here, of the smaller items, of course. He ask him if he had any tools of the trade here. sifted through the abundance for a few Not that he would offer the information, of minutes, scenes running through his head, course. Not unless asked. discarded and rejected. It had to be something “Kneel.” very special, something appropriate for both Bodie knelt, felt hands in his hair, wondered of them, something that would fulfil the with a fierce excitement what Doyle was going needs in both of them. to do next. Then he decided what it would be, and “What’re your limits?” Doyle asked, needing smiling, picked up the beautifully crafted to know, the question going far beyond mere crop, recognising it as official issue, and he token formality. thought, possibly expensive to obtain. He “No blood, no permanent disfigurement, weighted it in his hands, and found the no scat, sir.” His heart was pounding now, his balance to be perfect, but that was no more cock rising. He wished he had a ball-stretcher than he expected: Bodie had excellent taste, on, but he had a feeling that even without any a very discerning eye, and a private source of toys, the simple fact of it being Doyle would income with which to indulge himself. Not turn this into one of the best scenes he had that one asked Bodie about where the extra ever had. Love had a way of doing that, unless money came from, not unless you were you were the helpless masochist type, who Cowley. longed to be a slave. But that wasn’t Bodie. He “Does Cowley know about your trips to this simply needed the release from responsibil- Club?” ity, and the punishment for all the things he “Yes, sir.” did and the power he had outside the bedroom. “And he hasn’t ordered you to stop?” And the pleasure of pain, of course. Always, “Yes, sir, he has.” the pleasure of pain. “But you continued to go there. Well, now Doyle was looking down at his kneeling I’m telling you so you won’t go back there, lover, his own excitement leaping within him, ever. Do you hear me?” and then the control came damping down, “Oh, yes.” the power coming into him, and he was a Top “Yes what?” again, supremely in command of this man, “Yes, sir!” and most importantly, himself. He put both “That’s better. But you still forgot. And hands in Bodie’s hair and pulled, and was you’ve been lying to me about this, and
104 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 M. FAE GLASGOW £3£3£3 PART II: SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 having other men.” and trust tighter than any leather fetish “Yes, sir.” could ever be. “That’s going to stop.” Doyle raised his arm, pausing on the up- “Yes, sir.” stroke to admire both the beauty of the tool “But I’m going to punish you to make sure and of the arse it was going to turn red with you remember.” heat and the scintillation of pain. It whistled “Thank you, sir.” its admiration on the way down, then bit into Doyle paused for a second, looking at the tender, unmarked flesh, leaving Doyle’s brand collection of blindfolds in the drawer, decid- behind. He had quite some skill at this, and ing that Bodie was experienced enough to his arm and his rhythm never faltered as he take a lot more than mere blindfolds and a administered a pattern of blows, welts rising thrashing the first time—certainly judging by redly on the whiteness of Bodie’s arse. He the sophistication of some of the equipment stopped, stroking his hand across the rippled in the wardrobe. But he didn’t want it to be too surface, following the arching lines his crop involved today, something fairly simple, but had made. the perfect thing to mend the broken trusts “That’s better,” he murmured, cock hard between them. He took a mild blindfold from and needful, caught tight and tense by his the pile, a simple black leather one with brass jeans. “Now, turn round.” eyelets for lacing up the back. He saw Bodie’s Blind, practice helping him keep his bal- cock respond enthusiastically to the first ance despite the deprivation of both his sight touch of the leather, and he fitted the blind- and the use of his hands, Bodie turned, his fold nice and snug. arse glowing with a lovely lingering pain. He Next—“On your feet,” and he took out the waited, silent, in the dark, for his next com- English cage, fitting the straps round Bodie’s mand. cock and balls, making sure the cross-strap “Suck me.” separated his balls into two smoothly taut A groin was thrust in his face, and he mounds. struggled with teeth and lips to lower the zip. Then—“Kneel, over the edge of the bed. He could normally manage this very well, Later, if I feel like it, I’ll let you take your with flair, even, but the jeans were too tight punishment like a man, but you don’t deserve and the cock too swollen to allow him much that yet, so you can cower there like a boy.” leeway. He couldn’t do it, so he bit instead, Bodie, subsumed totally into the event, doing no damage but incurring both pun- didn’t answer, for he hadn’t been given per- ishment and rescue. He was slapped, hard, mission to answer. He was wholly happy, for head ringing and face stinging, and then the he was doing something that pleased Doyle, zip scraped open and a hard cock was thrust and the one man he had always wanted as at him. Eagerly, he swallowed it down, no Master was his. And he knew—knew—that he hesitation, just devouring passion. But it was could take anything Doyle did to him. He felt taken from him before he had a chance to his manhood swell, and his self-image preened savour it fully, and his Master withdrew from proudly. He was well aware of how gorgeous him. In the quiet, he heard the exquisite he must look, bent over like this, the muscles sound of clothing being removed, and then he in his back displayed, his skin so white and was shoved, toppling over onto the floor, flawless, his arse raised ready. He held his landing heavily on his chest, his cock tor- breath, waiting. mented by the coarseness of carpet and the “Hands behind your back,” Doyle said, dig of leather into his balls. taking the quickly crossed wrists and binding Doyle grabbed Bodie by the hair, dragging them in a pattern of leather thong that he him up and shoving him towards the bed. remembered so well from before. “Arse up “On your back,” he snapped, standing aside higher.” to watch as Bodie struggled to position himself, Obedience, of course, instant and total, arms caught underneath the weight of his and they both revelled in it, the bonds of love body. Doyle began with Bodie’s left foot and a
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long length of buckled leather, attaching and balls, twisting them round, the leather Bodie to the legs of the bed, then kneeling biting him until the imperative to come had beside him, reaching under to loosen the faded down to screaming pleasure, and he arms. Each wrist was attached by straps that was suffused with a glow of heat to match his matched the ankle bindings, until Bodie lay arse. spread out across the bed, naked and Doyle was well pleased with Bodie’s per- blindfolded, balls stretched and cock hard. formance. They could work together, he and Doyle left him there and went back to the Bodie, and he thought they had enough wardrobe, taking his time to make his choice, flexibility to make it work. At least, he hoped and gathering up an unopened tub of lubri- so. Carefully, he brought himself out of Bodie’s cant to bring with him. He said nothing to mouth, getting up off the bed, slathering his Bodie, giving him no warning. cock in viscid lubricant. The crop was slippery Bodie nearly screamed at the unanticipated in his hand, so he laid it down and wiped pleasure. His nipples were on fire, settling himself on Bodie’s naked belly, caressing the down to embers of heated pleasure as he quivering skin with the crop before lifting it, adjusted to the tit-clamps biting into him. He and hurtling it down to crack against the tight wanted to moan, to arch and writhe, but he tit-clamps. didn’t know all the foibles of his Master yet. Bodie screamed out loud as his nipples He held himself as still as he could, his pulse exploded, then whimpered as the pleasure of hammering in his cock, the pleasure radiating the pain infused him with thudding desire. painfully from his tits. But nothing he couldn’t He wanted to come, he needed desperately to take, not even close. come, but he couldn’t. His Master hadn’t Still, it was perfect for the first time. He was given him permission yet. So he writhed and at Doyle’s mercy, bound hand and foot, cock mewled and begged, tugging on his bonds, and balls vulnerable, blind and dependant. arching his back, the movement setting his tit Trusting, in other words, absolutely trusting. clamps moving, adding to the corolla of de- He smiled then, overflowing with love, and sire. then the bed indented on either side of his Doyle had intended to make it last, to fuck head, and strong thumbs dug into his jaws Bodie for a while and then withdraw, indulge and his mouth was opened. Then he was in a few sophistications upon the oh-so- filled, wonderfully, orgasmically filled, the willing flesh, but with Bodie seducing him long slide of cock possessing him without with his own lust, he couldn’t. He knelt pause. He thought he could die from happi- between legs that were already wide-spread ness right then and there. for him, Bodie bending his knees like the well- It was Heaven: here he was spreadeagled, trained bottom he was, but it wasn’t quite tied to the bed, hand and foot and hand and enough. Doyle undid the ankle restraints and foot. Doyle was astride his face, cock buried Bodie immediately lifted his legs high, exposing deep in his throat, balls spread across his his arse without hesitation. A dip of hand into nose, filing him with the redolence of Doyle’s the tub of lubricant, and then the first finger body. Doyle’s hands, those wonderfully strong, was taking possession, and then, quickly, a hard hands, were tugging his nipples, pulling second finger, dilating and spreading and them tight and away from his body, brilliant opening. Doyle positioned himself, one hand pain coruscating through him. Then Doyle steadying himself, the other generous enough was slapping at his tits, hitting them hard, to stroke Bodie’s cock. flicking the tit-clamps with his nails, but And he was taken. His Master plunged into hard, so hard, and Bodie knew he could come him, slick and hot and hard, filling him up, just from that and the fucking of a cock down making him a receptacle for his Master’s his throat. Doyle must have sensed his pleasure, and giving him purest ecstasy in weakness too, for his Master leaned forward, return. He wrapped his legs round his Master’s cock going deep enough to gag even the hips, groaning in pleasure as his arse felt the experienced Bodie, and grabbed Bodie’s cock harsh flat of his Master’s hand, punishment
106 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 M. FAE GLASGOW £3£3£3 PART II: SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 for changing position without permission, “I shall have to punish you for that, to but his Master was kind to him: the cock was make sure you do better next time.” not taken from him, it fucked into him, deep “Thank you, sir,” and he was ecstatic— and possessive, just like his Master himself. next time! His Master had said next time. It There was no possibility of Doyle taking was going to be all right, it really was going to this slowly, his balls throbbing with the im- be all right. He almost wept with pain and joy pending of orgasm. He held on tight to Bodie, as the crop sliced into him at a perfect forty- thrusting into him, letting go of everything in five degree angle to the smouldering welts the world apart from himself, and Bodie. The from before. Ten strokes, ten long, hot strokes, two of them, Bodie under him tonight, be- with time enough between for the anticipa- longing to him, obeying him. tion to build to fever pitch, only to erupt into “You can come, Bodie,” he said, so pleased flames as the blow struck. with Bodie’s performance that he was willing Doyle surveyed the red arse, with the to be bounteous and permit him not only to rosette of muscle at its heart, puckered and come, but to hear himself honoured by being red and with a thin trail of his semen spilling called by name. “That’s it, make it good, move from it. And he knew then: Bodie was his. His, for me, Bodie. Fuck yourself on me.” and his alone, and no-one would ever come Bodie did, striving to push his arse upwards, between them, not now. Not the vicious, using the strong muscles of his back and legs violent ghosts from his own past, and not the to pull his Master in closer and deeper, tempting sirens of Bodie’s present. Well- clutching at him with his arse muscles. His satisfied, he undid the restraints, letting the Master was talking to him, using his name, circulation return before he gently undid the telling him to come, and the sweetness erupted tit-clamps, unwilling to make it too heavy a in him and from him, his entire body a scene this first time and determined to prove pinnacle of pleasure, the straps round his to himself that he really could go back to this cock and balls making the orgasm last forever. special pleasure of his without the taint of The spasming of arse round his cock was real violence. He nuzzled, sweetly, at the the last straw: Doyle came, streaming inside upthrusting nipples, his saliva cooling the the clinging body, heat all around, pleasure sting of release and then he caressed the drilling through him. He didn’t collapse, of leather around Bodie’s still turgid cock and course, but rose up on knees that were swollen balls, smoothing Bodie’s own cum in admittedly shaky, pausing there to wipe the with sweeping swathes of his hand from belly sweat from his face and the cum from his to balls and back again. Finally, he removed cock. Bodie, he was pleased to note, remained the blindfold, fingers playing in soft hair as he in position, although the long thigh muscles unlaced the leather. were trembling with the strain. Orgasm re- Blinking rapidly as his eyes adjusted back ceding slowly through his veins, Doyle picked to the light from the utter darkness, Bodie up the ankle restraints, attaching them first stared up and watched, wide-eyed, as his to Bodie’s ankles and then to the ‘D’ rings on Master, now Ray again, leaned down, Ray’s the wrist bands. Then he picked up the crop, face filling his vision, Ray’s tongue filling his and knelt beside the body awkwardly bent mouth. Bodie gave himself over to the love, double on the bed. completely, fully, and for the first time, hon- “You changed positions when I hadn’t estly. There was more trust between them given you permission to,” Doyle said. than ever before, and as he kissed Ray, as Ray “I’m sorry, sir,” Bodie answered, suitably kissed him and they held each other close, he penitent of voice, but body trembling with knew nothing was ever going to split them anticipation of the strokes that would surely apart. come.
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HE COULD WAIT. there, just under the surface. It would come. “Glad you’re enjoying yourself.” Doyle an- Now? swered pleasantly enough: he actually Soon? sounded as if he meant it, no mean feat Later? considering he hadn’t wanted to host this He could not know. party to begin with and had only agreed after But it would come. some very heavy-duty blackmail by his former He could wait. boss and his friends. At least, that’s what he He knew he could. had told all of them. The simple truth was that Bodie had asked him to do it. It was the kind of party that only CI5 could “Bodie coming later?” Murphy dropped in get away with: no-one else had enough small casually, never averse to chancing his arm print at their disposal to get the police to turn with Ray, probably because he knew there a blind eye to this sort of shenanigan. wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that Doyle Doyle watched it all with jaded eye and vast would even consider taking him up on his amusement. There was an enormous amount invitation. of alcohol being drunk, some very dubious “Bodie, as you know perfectly well, Murphy substances being consumed, and some very my old mate, is up in Liverpool and won’t be uninhibited sexual groping going on. Oh, yes, back until the third. And before you ask, no, the party was going well. He was, as usual, I’m not lonely and I definitely don’t need any propped up against a wall, legs crossed at company to keep my bed warm. I’ve got an ankle, hips canted invitingly, and enormous electric blanket for that. Much less trouble ‘Do Not Touch’ signs plastered all over him. and it uses up a lot less energy.” Again, nothing that everyone didn’t expect. “Can’t blame a bloke for trying. Listen…” They all knew that Doyle was exclusive, in a he hesitated, then banked on many years of relationship with Bodie that was common friendship and asked, “is it family Bodie’s knowledge but only now beginning to come gone up to see?” out in the open, thanks at long last to certain “Why don’t you ask him when he comes remarks made by Her Majesty’s Prime Min- back?” Doyle asked back, knowing that no- ister. one, not even Murphy, would dare to ask Everyone knew Doyle was monogamous, Bodie about his family. everyone saw the ‘keep out’ signals, but that But Doyle could ask about the dreaded didn’t stop the occasional brave soul from and dreadful Bodie clan, and did, often enough trying. to really irritate his partner thoroughly. “Lovely party,” Murphy said, leaning an Doyle was smiling to himself, and the arm against Doyle’s wall, his hand close happiness on his face shafted a bolt of jeal- enough that it was caressed by Doyle’s hair. ousy through Murphy, before he controlled Shorter, and greyer with the passage of years, himself and made himself happy for Ray, and but still as thick, still as curly, although it was for Bodie, that they’d managed to find a somewhat tamed now, until all that remained relationship that worked as well as theirs did. was a suggestion of the old wildness. But “It’s a pity Bodie had to miss seeing in the Murphy didn’t mind: Murphy knew that ev- New Year with you, though.” ery last ounce of the wildness was all still Doyle shrugged. “I’ll survive. Anyway, we
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you. Well, here, have another lager then.” beyond them to keep their faces straight Doyle accepted it with a good grace he when Cowley had come into the main bed- could never have managed a few years before. room, opened the door to the huge walk-in Then, there would have been some sarcastic storage room and pronounced in complete comment about being offered his own beer in innocence that they had a ‘glory hole’. The his own house, but now he simply ignored it, poor old sod had had no idea whatsoever tolerating Duncan’s little foible. Not that he what he’d said, but he and Bodie had. They’d liked Duncan Smith, but if there was one christened the room that night, and it had thing that working with Whitehall had taught been the Glory Hole ever since. him, it was how to put up with people he The bedroom door well and truly shut, didn’t like. Still, he made his escape quickly, Doyle unlocked the door to the Glory Hole, parking himself on his sofa, leaning back and stepping inside and re-locking the door before enjoying watching the world go by. he switched the light on. It was, of course, painted black, and seemed to absorb both He wondered, alone in the dark, how long light and sound; the floor, laid with special it would be before He came back. Not too long plastic tiling; the walls, hung with wooden now, surely? He needed to use the lavatory, slats and shelves; the equipment, meticu- but he couldn’t, not until He came back and lously clean and perfectly displayed; the air, gave him permission. So he would have to heavy with incense and leather. wait. He distracted himself by moving just And the man, kneeling, head bowed, hands enough that the chain connecting his tit- and feet bound. clamps to each other jingled and swayed, the Doyle’s heart leapt within him at the sight, sound music to his ears, the motion music to and a surge of love so strong that he almost his body. But he wished He would come back curtailed the scene to begin immediately with soon, and then, instead, he schooled himself Bodie’s favourites. But he controlled himself, into patience. and poised, instead, against the wall, just He could wait. inside his Blackroom, drinking his beer. He knew he could. Bodie, hearing the sound of his entrance, sensing the light, turned towards him. Quietly, without anyone noticing, Doyle “It’s a terrific party out there.” Doyle kept slipped into his bedroom—their bedroom, his voice distant and cool, an edge of disap- the one he’d shared with Bodie since they’d proval to it. “It’s your fault they’re all here, and bought this flat almost six years ago. That still it’ll be your own fault if someone gets in here tickled his funny bone: the price of property and discovers you. Can you imagine what in London so prohibitive that two men could they would do if one of your staff came in here get away with buying a place together, as long and found Mr. Bodie kneeling like a slave, as it had at least two bedrooms and a buy-out with a blindfold on, clamps on his tits and clause in the mortgage. This flat had been a trussed up like a chicken.” find, a real fixer-upper in an area that was He watched as that frissoned through only beginning to climb back into gentility. Bodie, the long heavy cock rising as the thrill The streets round here were filled with well- of discovery seeped in. maintained homes now, expensive cars “Can you hear the music in here?” bearing parking permits lined the streets, “No, sir.” nannies pushed prams at ten o’clock every “I shall have to turn it up then, shan’t I? No, morning. Suburbia come to the city, and better than that: you shall have to keep quiet Doyle loved it. Everything he wanted within when I thrash you.” easy reach, and the perfect man to share it “Thank you, sir.” with. Doyle took another long drink of his beer, The one and only time Cowley had come to his free hand massaging his cock through the see it had been before most of the renovations thin grey cloth of his trousers. had been done, and it had almost been “Murphy was asking for you, of course.
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Told him you were up in Liverpool till the aching from being pulled backwards, his third.” ankles from being held in place by the leather “Thank you, sir. Permission to ask a shackles. All of him ached with the longing for question, sir?” his Master to return. “You can ask.” But he could wait. “Will this continue until the third, sir?” He knew he could. “What did your Christmas card say?” “Sir, it read that this scene would begin on the last day of the old year and finish on the Murphy saw him coming out of his bedroom first day of the new year.” and pounced, as playful as a cat with a “Which means it can’t go on to the third, mouse. which means you weren’t paying proper at- “A-ha! Coming out of the bedroom, and tention to me.” keeping the door locked? You’ve got someone “I’m sorry, sir.” in there, haven’t you, Ray?” “Do you need to be punished?” “Oh, yeh, you couldn’t be more right,” “Oh, yes, sir!” Doyle said conversationally. “I’ve got Bodie Doyle leaned negligently against the wall, tied up in my dungeon in there.” surveying the extreme enthusiasm, and de- Murphy, of course, laughed like a drain at cided to change his planned scene: he had the joke. “Okay, okay, I can take a hint. And intended to use his best belt on Bodie, then a it is none of my business why you’re keeping nice thrashing, but Bodie was too keen, and your bedroom locked, and I’ll just take my big too cock-sure of what was coming next. nose and my big mouth somewhere else.” Definitely time to add a bit of spice to the Doyle fell into step beside him, nodding scene, to throw Bodie off-balance a bit, be- towards the almost empty balcony, and neatly cause otherwise, they’d end up in a rut, sidestepping round a couple who were getting where trust and love would be taken for to know each other extremely well indeed. granted. “In that case,” he murmured, turning “God, they get worse every year, don’t out the light and unlocking the door, mea- they?” he muttered, as the cold air sliced into suring Bodie’s reaction to the lack of sensu- him and the fresh air filled his lungs. ous pain, “your punishment is going to be the “You mean that pair in the hall? You’ve got withdrawal of physical chastisement until I to be kidding, Ray! You must’ve forgotten that decide otherwise.” year your Bodie and the lovely Susan per- Bodie groaned in disappointment, even formed on my kitchen table!” made a move to stand up. Doyle laughed with him over that, re- “I won’t be provoked. Disobey me now, and membering not only the performance, but I’ll untie you and tell Murphy you came home Bodie’s mortification when sobriety returned. early. Do you understand me?” They’d been able to slag him off for months “Yes, sir,” Bodie murmured, settling back over that one, especially since Susan hadn’t down into the correct position for when his an inhibited bone in her body and joined in Master was present. “Permission to speak, making poor Bodie blush. “Yeh, and wasn’t sir.” that the year McCabe got arrested, and you He made Bodie wait before he gave his and me went down the local cop shop waving permission this time. our ID’s all over the place?” “May I use the lavatory, sir?” “That’s right. You claimed we were inves- “No,” Doyle said, his voice a crack of the tigating a smuggling ring—” lash, and left once more, locking the door “I thought I said it was terrorism?” behind him. Murphy shrugged. “One or the other, we Alone in the dark, Bodie knelt patiently, never much cared back then, did we?” his bladder full, his cock aware of the pres- “No,” Doyle said, very quiet, party spirit left sure and responding to the gentle discomfort behind. “I never really cared much about as it built up to pain. His shoulders were anything at all.”
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Murphy hemmed and hawed for a minute, I thought it had to be something like that with and then decided that Ray was in a rare mood you two. How…Hell, live dangerously, I’ll ask. indeed, and well worth the risk. “Bodie’s been What about you, eh, Ray?” good for you, hasn’t he?” “Fancy yourself as James Bond, do you? Doyle shot him a hard look, then softened, Actually, I don’t mind. It’s nice to be able to smiling. “It’s not like you to come right out talk about him, really. Me? I don’t know. We’d and say anything about me and Bodie, been together for a while before I admitted to Murph.” myself that I was in love with him, so Christ “It’s not like you to be this communicative, knows when it happened.” Raymond.” “Oh!” the new voice managed to blush “Touché. Yeh, you’re right, he has been furiously. “Excuse me, didn’t realise you were good for me. It’s funny, I’d been in love before, with someone, Patrick, could only see you, even thought I’d fallen for people after I met the way the plants were…” Steven Hamilton him, but it’s different with him. Goes above stammered off into crimson silence, wishing and beyond everything else.” the ground would open up and swallow him “You know how much I envy you two, don’t when he realised that it wasn’t just anyone you?” Patrick was with: it was his boss. “Well, who knows, maybe you, and the “It’s all right,” Ray Doyle said, very, very young Steven?” gently, making Murphy look at him in surprise. “Not like you to come right out and ask. The “I was on my way back in. You go ahead, give young Steven, for your information, is a Pat his drink.” suitably cautious young man.” After Doyle departed, Murphy stood with “In other words, you shoved your great big his arm round his young man and gazed after paw down his front and he told you to sling him in astonishment. “My God!” he finally your hook.” said, “Ray Doyle is finally getting soft in his “No, I did not! I just talked to him, and it old age!” turns out he likes me enough that—” and that “Mr. Doyle? He’s always like that. Unless expression was back on Murphy’s face, that someone cocks something up, of course.” glow of excitement, “he’s coming out to dinner “Ray? Our Doyle that we know and love with me tomorrow night. He wants a proper and duck whenever he enters a room? Oh, courtship, Ray, and God help me, I can’t wait Stevie my gorgeous young lad,” and he kissed to do the flowers and the walks in the parks, him, drawing him in amongst the profusion the whole bit.” of plants, “let me tell you all about your Mr. “Sounds like love at first sight.” Doyle, as he was when I worked with him…” “Oh, no, not me. Lust at first sight, maybe, but it takes a long time for it to turn into love.” When he locked the door shut behind “Not always, Murph, believe me. Not al- himself this time, he came straight over to ways.” Bodie, unhooking the chain from the wall Even in the tree-shaded light of the street- bar, leading his blindfolded man to the toilet lamp, the secret joy showed on Doyle’s face. area. “You look like you know something I don’t “Get on with it,” he said, pushing Bodie know, Ray.” down, “I’ve not got all night.” He turned, leaned on the balustrade, and Although he had. He’d promised Bodie ‘the grinned, finally secure enough in his rela- best night of your life’, and that was exactly tionship with Bodie that he was willing to what he was going to give them both. He open up emotionally about it to a very few, grabbed Bodie again, leading him by the balls very select friends. And there was no-one back to the wall bar, hooking him up again, more select than Murphy. “Bodie fell for me taking a few minutes just to play around with the second he laid eyes on me. And he hasn’t the tit-clamps, heightening the anticipation stopped loving me since.” of what was coming later. “Well, that explains the smug expression! He turned the key in the lock, and as Bodie
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far more interesting in mind, and something Bodie’s cock, taking his time, drawing the far more challenging for Bodie. Something for sensation out, his own cock getting hard at Bodie to test himself against, to push his the sight of the tubing disappearing into limits and give him the exhilaration of being Bodie, possessing that ultimate, final bastion able to take it all. The bathing was finally done of the male. to Doyle’s satisfaction, and he emptied the Bodie screamed. bowl out, bringing it back with him, just in “Shh,” Doyle said, “it’s all right. You’ll be case it was needed. He didn’t expect many fine in a minute.” sordid details, but he hated interrupting a Bodie squirmed, trying to pull away, fighting scene to take care of banal details. The towel Doyle, fighting his Master. was laid aside, and then he bent over Bodie, Although it was in his rights as Master to one hand tugging on the clamps, while he punish Bodie very severely indeed, all Doyle kissed Bodie breathless. said was, “Can’t take it, then?” “Thank you, sir,” Bodie managed when his “I can’t—” mouth was his own again. “Do you want me to stop? Do you want to “Don’t mention it.” And that wasn’t a polite admit defeat?” cliché. He kissed Bodie again, thrusting his A long silence, and all the while, Doyle was tongue into Bodie’s mouth, and when he was easing the catheter into Bodie, the tubing finished, Bodie contented himself with a smile. disappearing inch by slow inch. And now, “That’s better,” Doyle said, moving back Doyle knew, the minor irritation of insertion down Bodie’s torso, keeping one hand on him would be over, and the feeling of fullness all the time, reinforcing the bond between would be overwhelming him. He knew how it them. “Are you ready to serve my pleasure?” felt, physically, but could only imagine how it “Yes, Master.” felt, emotionally. It was the most tightly “Any pleasure at all?” guarded part of a man’s body—his arse and “Yes, Master.” mouth were easy to yield in comparison. But “Do you yield to me completely?” to let someone else possess his prick, when “Yes, Master.” he himself was blind and bound, that was “Then remember that. No matter what I do quite incredible. to you, no matter what happens, remember A tiny trickle of liquid into the bowl showed that you have no control over anything I that the Foley was in all the way, and he used choose to do to you. You have no choice but the hand-grip to inflate the air bulb that to trust me.” would hold the catheter inside. Bodie groaned, He picked up the K-Y and, still being and Doyle stopped, asking, “Everything all careful to practice the ‘clean system’, he right?” began to lube up the new toy. He had used its “Oh, yes, Master, yes!” partner on himself a few weeks ago, so he “What does it feel like?” knew precisely what Bodie was going to feel, “It’s as if you’re inside me, inside my cock down to every quiver of pleasure and shiver of somehow. I feel…I feel as if you’re part of me, fear. Wiping his hands to make sure they as a man…” weren’t likely to slip, he took Bodie’s cock in “I’m going to leave it in, Bodie,” and he bent his left hand and picked the Foley up in his down, sucking at the join of cock and cath- right. His hands were shaking with excitement, eter, Bodie arching in exquisite pleasure so he stopped for a minute or two, calming every time he flicked his tongue over the himself with deep breathing. Bodie was blend of latex and flesh. “And while you’re swelling in his hand, but that wasn’t going to lying there, I’m going to go and have a few be a problem. drinks. When I’ve had enough beer, I’m going His hands were steady again, although his to come back to you. Do you understand?” heart was pounding as fast as Bodie’s. “Yes, Master.” Carefully, knowing how frightening it was the Doyle’s footsteps were silent, but the door first time, he slowly inserted the catheter into locking was loud in the silence of his leaving.
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“Wonderful down here, Master.” Bodie lay on the floor, the tube up his cock, He brought his foot down, fairly gently his manhood a toy for his Master’s pleasure. considering Bodie’s insolent humour, on the In the dark, he smiled. His bound hands unprotected balls. “The only cheek I’m in- found his cock, fingered the tube curiously terested in from you is your arse.” and with rising excitement. He squirmed, “Sorry.” and that set his cockring swaying against his Doyle raised an eyebrow at that and low- chest, his nipple coruscating in delicious ered his foot at the same time. It wasn’t often agony. He cupped his cock, cradling it close that Bodie was this pushy in a scene, and if to his body, the tube trailing along his inner it hadn’t been for how well he’d accepted the thigh. He was shivering with anticipation, catheter, Doyle would probably have walked and fear. And gratitude, that he had such a out then and there and left Bodie to stew. But good Master, one who never let him become he’d promised Bodie the best night of his life, lazy or complacent. He could take this new and he knew what Bodie wanted. delight, he was sure of it. And he hoped it “On your knees.” wouldn’t be long now before his Master came “Thank you, Master.” back to take His pleasure. Impatience gnawed He used the best belt after all, then the at him. crop, and finally, because Bodie had made But he could wait. such a point of being disobedient, he brought He knew he could. out the braided leather cat-o’-nine-tails. It wasn’t often they used it, for it took a while for Playing the perfect host, Doyle went from Bodie’s fine skin to lose the last of the tell-tale room to room, making sure that everyone had signs and sores the cat left, but there were a drink and that no-one was in any imminent precious few Government staff working on danger of doing themselves a mischief, unlike Friday, and he and Bodie weren’t among the year Davidson had managed to get his them. Oh, the benefits of no longer being on foot stuck in the toilet. He nodded a hello at the active roster! He could do as he pleased, Murphy, unwilling to disturb his old friend without having to consider an inadvertent when said friend was obviously progressing uncovering of their secret perverse vice by by leaps and bounds with the beautiful young something stupid like a trainee hurting Bodie Steven. Half-an-hour later, the old year was and forcing him to go to the CI5 doctor. He drawing to a very rapid close, and Doyle made drew the long thin strands of leather across a last round, handing out drinks to toast in the palm of his hand, the whisper of the cat the new, switching the television on to show exciting him as he gazed at the glorious red some odd Scottish heuching and teuching to welts it had left on Bodie’s back. see out the old year, and then discreetly Then, muffled by the distance, he heard dropping a couple of condoms into Murphy’s the party crowd starting the count-down, so pocket in case he overcame Steven’s shyness he gave Bodie one last kiss of the cat and with sufficient enthusiasm. brought Bodie to his feet. Duty done, he returned to his Blackroom. Doyle took a mouthful of drink, and held Bodie’s mouth open, pouring the beer from Bodie was lying on his back, precisely as he his mouth into Bodie. had been left, and Doyle felt a jolt of pure love “Happy New Year,” he said, and kissed run through him: to see that mind-boggling him, slow and deep and loving, Bodie’s bound degree of trust, and all of it for him! Lust hands pressing between them, Bodie rubbing joined the love, and he walked over to Bodie, at his Master’s cock through the softness of using the toe of his boot to nudge the heavy- Italian trousers. Suffused with the goodwill of hanging balls, bending over to jiggle the the season, Doyle overlooked the infraction. catheter just enough to produce an incred- He stroked Bodie’s cock, fingers continuing ible sensation of fullness and possession. along the length of the catheter as if it were all “All right down there?” Bodie, as if Bodie’s cock had grown to heroic
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proportions. He could wait. “I’ve got something special planned for later, if you’re good.” “You in a rush by any chance?” Murphy “I’ll be good, Master, I promise.” asked as Doyle escorted one of the women Doyle squeezed Bodie’s cock, and Bodie from Tactical through the front door before twisted and turned, the fullness driving him she had finished saying good night, resulting crazy, making him frantic for more. in a very graphic and absolutely anatomically “Like that, do you?” impossible suggestion—unless you were the “Oh, yes, Master.” legendary Philips from Communications. “Well, if you earn it, I’ll get a bigger one for “Who, me?” Doyle asked with the kind of you.” innocence that convinced the people who “Thank you, Master.” hadn’t met him until after his settling down “But we’ll have to wait and see.” He held with Bodie had worked its magic. Murphy, of Bodie in his arms, running his hands over the course, having known Doyle from old and pattern of raised welts and heated hollows of well able to remember the stroppy little bastard Bodie’s back, aroused by the marks he had who must still inhabit the lithe form, wasn’t left and by the murmured pleasure of his in the slightest bit convinced. lover. But despite his own desires and Bodie’s “You’re like the cat on a hot tin roof, Ray.” needs, he had to leave: had to attend to the “Pardon me for breathing! And would you party, had to see to it that everyone got home. care to go home now? Some of us would like More importantly, he had to make sure that to get to bed, you know.” everyone left—and soon. He tugged on Bodie’s “Oh, am I the last one?” Doyle wasn’t the clamps, flicking the dangling cockring to only one who could fake innocence, obviously. make it swing, heavily, the rhythm rippling “Are you the last one? Of course you’re the through Bodie’s entire body. last bloody one, you’re always the last bloody Before he gave in and fell victim to his own one. Now why don’t you go home and get desires, Doyle left, quickly, else he would some beauty sleep—if you want to nail young have stayed and the guests be damned. But Hamilton, you’ll need it!” that wasn’t on the cards: it was one thing for Murphy looked at Doyle in serious suspi- Bodie to fantasise about being caught in full cion. “You know something?” scene, but it was Doyle’s responsibility to “I know a hell of a lot more fucking things make it seem likely while protecting Bodie than you do. Such as when I’ve overstayed my completely. welcome somewhere.” Still, he paused at the door, turning to gaze Murphy chose to ignore that. “I think at Bodie and it was only with an effort of pure you’re in a hurry to get rid of me because will that he was able to leave. you’ve got someone stashed away in your bedroom, and you’re scared someone’s going Bodie heard the door close again, and to find out and tell Bodie.” curled up to wait, the tubing reminding him For a second, it was a toss-up whether how lucky he was to have a Master who could Doyle was going to laugh himself sick or give own him so thoroughly. Murphy his head in his hands to play with— Still, it was only with an effort of sheer will and without benefit of anæsthesia. “I should that he was able to obey his Master’s standing clock you one for that, Murphy, but me mum orders and refrain from masturbating. His always said not to clock the afflicted.” pleasure was not his own, it belonged to his “Very droll, Ray, but I know you. You’ve got Master and he was here to please no-one but someone in there, haven’t you? How could Him. But he wanted to feel his Master on him you mess about with Bodie, eh? I mean, once more. He wanted—desperately—to ex- you’ve got someone like him and in this day perience whatever new delicate torture his and age, with syphilis and AIDS, you’re going Master had found for him. to screw around?” Murphy narrowed his But he could wait. eyes, seeing past the fine shirt and tailored
116 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 M. FAE GLASGOW £3£3£3 PART III: BLESSED ARE THE MEEK £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 trousers to the street-wise man he had known that the truth had been told as a joke and was for years. “No,” he said, abruptly convinced of now being denied in seriousness. The unease the truth, “you wouldn’t do anything that was there, the total inability to comprehend stupid. So what’re you up to, Ray?” He laughed, something that was so completely alien to making a joke of a very serious concern. Murphy’s sexuality. And the beginnings of “What’s going on—hey, I know! You weren’t mistrust were there, born of the insecurity of kidding earlier on, you have got Bodie tied up suddenly finding out someone once well in there.” known has turned into a kinky stranger “Well,” Doyle said, banking on a friendship overnight. that had started so long ago they had both “So now your curiosity is happy, will you been dead keen on flared trousers and white just bugger off and let me get to bed? Alone, shoes, “you know what they say. Never a in case you’re still wondering.” truer word was spoken in jest.” “All right. Em, well…see you.” Murphy stared at him in profoundest shock “You will—on Thursday. We both have to and then guffawed, actually leaning on the be at that fiscal allocation meeting with the door jamb to hold himself up. “Oh, you had Minister.” me for a second there, Ray, you really had me “Oh, yeh, I’d forgotten.” going. But Bodie—Bodie for crying out loud— Doyle didn’t bother mentioning that they our big Bodie tied up and, and—” had also mentioned going for a few drinks Doyle was simply staring at him, in an after. Not much point really, not until Murphy expression instantly recognisable to those either came to terms with his suspicions or who had fought beside him on the streets, learned to live with his doubts. before he had moved on to office wars. “Well. See you on Thursday then.” “Fucking hell, you’re serious!” “Okay.” And as Murphy was going down “And what if I am?” the stairs, he couldn’t resist rattling the keys “That’s sick, Doyle. Saying that about Bodie, in his pocket and adding, “I’ll tell Bodie you that’s really sick.” were asking for him!” He could argue about it, he could put Then the front door clicked shut with forward his view, he could quote statistics. He satisfying finality, and all the locks tripping could even point out that he and Murphy had into place were music to his ears. both been born in an era that called homo- It was time. sexuality sick and thought that bisexuality It was finally time. was a symptom of severe mental disturbance. He started stripping before he’d even turned He could. But he didn’t. the hall light out, kicking shoes off as he went, As Murphy himself had said earlier, Ray dropping his clothes behind him, careless of Doyle had matured, grown up into a man who everything but where he was going, what he would still fight dirtier than the next person, was going to do, but most of all, who he was but now he had the sense to know which going to. A smile wreathed his face as his battles could be fought and won and which hand turned the key to the Glory Hole, would merely draw blood on both sides. “I Murphy’s disapproval buried with all the wouldn’t say that,” he finally said. “Bit strong, other incomprehenders, deliberately en- don’t you think? Anyway, if it’s got you that tombed far from his thoughts, for all Doyle bloody nosy, I kept my bedroom locked be- wanted to think about was the man he loved, cause I didn’t want that lot using my bed to who was waiting for him. Waiting, always, for fuck each other silly in and because I didn’t him alone. want anyone sticking their great big noses He switched the light on, pulled off his last into my business and wandering off with sock and tossed it behind him into the bed- private stuff about me and Bodie that would room, then closed the door, enclosing him in embarrass the face off him.” this black, fertile womb with Bodie. “Yeh, well, suppose that makes sense.” Hearing him, Bodie had risen to his knees, But the suspicion was still there, the feeling head suitably bowed, hands not touching his
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cock, the transparent filament impaling him. own sweet time to insert a small gauge catheter Doyle wanted to fuck him, right then and into himself, the shimmering tube taking a there, but there were other things to do first, lifetime to be consumed into his prick. There other things he had promised Bodie, other was a tube attached, with a glass spigot things that would fulfil them both. towards the middle, the handle at ninety “All right?” he asked, checking the catheter degrees to the tube. for any signs of improper fit or insertion. “Do you see what I’m doing?” “Yes, Master.” “Yes, Master,” breath stirring the hair at Doyle vibrated the catheter, making Bodie Doyle’s groin and brushing against the back jump, setting the suspended cockring and of his fingers as Doyle adjusted his own light chains tinkling musically. It was the catheter under Bodie’s starving gaze. only music he allowed in his Blackroom, “You’re empty now, completely empty, not everything else an annoying distraction from a drop left in you. And I’m going to fill you up the source of real pleasure. again. I’m going to fill you the same way I do “Does that hurt?” when you’re lonely. I’m going to fill you up “Not a bit, sir.” from my own body, and you’ll be able to watch “Inside?” it flow into you.” “Nowhere at all, sir.” He didn’t let Bodie speak, for the expres- “No burning, no sharp edges anywhere?” sion on Bodie’s face said everything that “Only for the first few minutes, when I could possibly be said. “I’m going to possess thought I needed to pee, but it’s been…god, you, Bodie, I’m going to own you more than it’s been fucking fantastic since then, sir.” ever before. I’m going to piss up your virgin Doyle grinned, hands smoothing a path up cock, and then you won’t be a virgin any Bodie’s torso until his fingers were inside more, because I’ll have that too.” Bodie’s mouth. “I promised you tonight was He joined the two tubes, the juncture going to be the best, didn’t I?” sealing tight, and then he put his right hand “Yes, Master,” mumbled indistinctly past on the spigot, and with his left, he gripped the fingers fucking his mouth. Bodie’s chin, holding him steady as Doyle “Now,” Doyle said, displaying his lack of leaned forward to the opening mouth and Bodie’s patience, hurrying to get on with the tasted it with his tongue. Doyle released the scene, “I’ve had a lot of beer tonight. Not spigot and as the first of his piss, hot from the enough to impair my judgement, of course, depths of his body, flowed from him and into I’m too good a Master for that. But enough Bodie, Doyle pressed forward again and that I need a good piss. I need a Jimmy Riddle. whispered— Do you want to be my Jimmy?” “I love you, Bodie.” “Christ, yes, Master!” And as the first of the liquid sunshine “Oh, I like the way you said that. So I tell began filling the emptiness in Bodie, Doyle you what. I shall take your blindfold off and opened his heart up and kissed Bodie, with let you watch.” all the love in him, the intensity of his emotion Doyle went through the same washing passing from his mouth into Bodie, filling him sequence that he had already done for Bodie, with love as his body filled him with piss. except that he took care of himself standing Bodie was his, utterly and completely, at the little sink. He turned round and caught controlled and dominated at mouth and cock, the expression of undiluted, screaming desire supremely joined to him, mouth to mouth, on Bodie’s face. Bodie, it would seem, had cock to cock. For as long as his piss flowed, as clicked as to what was going to happen next. hot as cum, an orgasm of loving possession, And liked the idea. Doyle kissed Bodie. Only after, when the flow Ready, Doyle made Bodie kneel in position, was exhausted, did he release Bodie’s mouth, and stood in front of him, groin only inches taking Bodie in his arms to cherish him. away from Bodie’s hungry mouth. One foot There was so much more they could do, propped up on an impaling stool, he took his but he couldn’t wait. He tidied himself up and
118 £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 …AS TWO £3 NOTES £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 M. FAE GLASGOW £3£3£3 PART III: BLESSED ARE THE MEEK £3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3£3 then he emptied Bodie, careful to make sure AND AS HIS MASTER kissed him again, filling not to remove the catheter until all risk of him with love again and again, desire exploded irritation was passed. It would be about half through him. He couldn’t get over the stun- an hour before urine or cum could pass the ning experience of having his Master’s piss urethra without stinging and burning, and inside him like that, nor of having something he didn’t want Bodie distracted from the shoved up his prick. It had been the most unique pleasures of the experience. Not this incredibly exciting thing he’d ever known. first time. And he wanted more of it. “I’m going to fuck you,” he murmured into Perhaps, if he were lucky, his Master would a perfectly-shaped ear, nipping at the lobe. use him that way again. But then he reminded “I’m going to fuck you and then you’re going himself that he was not here for his own to take my fist inside you. And I’m going to pleasure, but for his Master’s. And right now, make you come so hard you’ll think you’re in his Master’s hands were on him, pinching Heaven. But,” he tugged Bodie’s hair, tipping and kneading and nipping, doing incredible his face back so that Bodie’s throat was as things to his cock and balls. He was being exposed and vulnerable as the rest of him, pushed downwards, his favourite belt snap- “not for at least half an hour. You’re going to ping across the redness of his back, and then beg me to let you come, but I won’t. You’ll be his Master’s cock was presented for him, and screaming because I’m going to keep you on he closed his eyes and opened his mouth, the edge.” surrendering himself to the ecstasy of pain Doyle took the cockring and slipped it on and the agony of love, orgasm running wild round Bodie’s hardening cock and fecund and chained through him, refused permission balls, caressing where the burnished silver to bring him sweet release. met flesh. Then began the slow, serious But he could wait. business of turning pleasure into pain and He knew he could. pain into pleasure, giving Bodie the best night It would come, for his Master loved him. he’d had in his life. He was grinning as he said Soon. again, “You’ll beg me to let you come, Bodie. He could wait. But I won’t. Not until I’m ready to let you.” He knew he could. £3£3£3
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