PSYCHIC VIBRATIONS ROBERT SHEAFFER Reptoids and Martians Invade Silicon Valley he Bay Area UFO Expo took posedly takes place. They are obviously itually advanced," although unlike place at the Doubletree Hotel in built to accommodate humans, not die many others he has only been on board San Jose, August 26 and 27, little guys who pilot die saucers. And a ship only once. He has a ranch near T diere are lots of tables. Indeed, there are Mt. Adams, Washington, on which 2000, bringing together some of the top names in UFOlogy. I attended sporting rooms with nothing but tables. Virtually he operates the Self Mastery Earth a press badge to represent the SKEPTICAL everything that is inside the UFOs seems Institute. He claims the ability to INQUIRER and no one even looked twice to be constructed for the sole purpose of "vector in" UFOs for his visitors to see. at my hat from Nevada's Area 51 show- abducting humans, an agenda the ETs They appear very much like "balls ing an alien quaffing some suds. With appear to be pursuing with single- of light," except that they are inter- approximately 3,000 tickets sold, the minded ferocity. dimensional. He calls this "ECETI," conference was a commercial success, The insectoid cteatures, says Jacobs, for "Enlightened Contact with Extra- although die big money was apparendy are clearly in charge. Some people terrestrial Intelligence." A "higher coun- not made from the registration fees of describe reptilians, although it is possible cil" seems to be in charge among visit- $25-55. Instead, each speaker con- that diis may be just another description ing UFOnauts, which is somehow tied ducted a two-hour "workshop" follow- of die praying mantis insectoid. (Which in with the Ascended Masters. The ing his or her lecture, with tickets is understandable, I think, since insects question of how these splendid aliens $20-25 each, to which my press pass and reptiles are easily confused.) can be reconciled with the horrific sce- unfortunately did not admit me, so I Angela Browne Miller is a psycho- nario painted by David Jacobs did not missed out on some of the wildest-of- therapist who has transmitted work seem to trouble anyone. die-wild stuff. However, what I did into this dimension from Albert David Shoemaker set up a vendor's learn from each speaker's "free" 45 Einstein and Karl Marx. She is encour- table in the hallway with a big sign read- minute lecture provided more than aging people to get in touch with their ing "UFO Crash Debris." He claims to enough excitement for one weekend. brain waves, urging us to "monitor have debris from two different crashes. David Jacobs, the noted UFO abduc- your brain waves for foreign conscious- One crashed in Missouri three days after tionist, painted a scary scenario of clan- nesses." We should be "highly con- the famous 1947 Roswell incident. The destine activity by one or more alien scious" (although not paranoid) when other was picked up at the "hot landing races, whose agenda is secret. Fortunately, we travel interdimensionally, so we can site" in New Mexico in 1998. He claims we have been able to penetrate many of properly map out the territory. to have conducted extensive scientific dieir secrets owing to die recollections of She represents a new movement call- testing that proves that these samples abductees, despite the aliens' best efforts ing itself Synaptic Liberation, which will have anomalous isotope ratios, and at making them forget. Jacobs is gready lead society to Utopia. She plans to impossible combinations of rare earths. obsessed by die "tables" in die saucers, transform it into a political party, and You can judge his claims for yourself at where die examinations of abductees sup- one of dieir principal demands will be www.crashdebris.com. for completely unrestricted interdimen- Shoemaker additionally claims sha- Robert Staffers World Wide Web page for sional travel. manic powers, as well as being an "exor- UFOs and other skeptical subjects is at James Gilliland is in "telepathic con- cist" and an "intuitive healer." He also www. debunker. com. tact" with aliens who are said to be "spir- claims to be able to "shape-shift," SKEPTICAL INQUIRER January/February 2001 25 although unfortunately not in public. the Emerald Order, one of the Guardian Michael Tsarion is an astrologer, He says that while at last year's UFO races, who fortunately are protecting us numerologist, UFOlogist, and Tarot conference, he healed several people from the Intruder races. She explained reader. He explained about how both with fatal diseases. He claims that most about the different forms of matter: pre- the Atlanteans and the extraterrestrials of the UFO movement is actually run matter, etheric matter, etc., speaking were involved in ancient Celtic Ireland. by the government, bent on disinforma- with enormous confidence about the The stories of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. tion. He accused one prominent most absurd twaddle you've ever heard. Lewis are not fictional, according to UFOlogist of trying to poison him. Richard Hoagland (see "The Face Tsarion: they describe the society of pre- Diluvian Ireland. Lawyer Peter Gersten of Citizens Anna Hayes displayed a detailed physiogonomy Against UFO Secrecy (www.caus.org) said that he is receiving channeled infor- of various extraterrestrial faces. She is in telepathic mation from another intelligence, and contact with the Emerald Order, one of the invited his listeners to subscribe to his daily e-mail about it. Most of us in this Guardian races, who fortunately are protecting room, he said, are probably in contact us from the Intruder races. with another form of intelligence. He thinks that this intelligence is terrestrial, and that is why it is being kept secret. "Dark agents" have been sent against Behind the Face on Mars" by Gary According to Gersten, the Roswell event him, which he was able to kill using his Posner, SI November/December 2000) of 1947, whatever it may have been, shamanistic powers, and so the conspir- drew by far the largest crowd, and the seems to have been a sort of "premature ators have stopped attacking him. 350 people who paid for his "workshop" downloading" of technology from this The Mexican UFOlogist Jaime makes him far and away the biggest hidden intelligence. He urged his listen- Mausson showed a photo allegedly moneymaker. He wasted twenty min- ers to look at www.padn.org—his taken by a Mexican TV viewer of cover- utes trying to set up his computer to "Planetary Appeal Distribution Net- age of Neil Armstrong's moon walk in present a slide show to us, using Adobe work." It's a multi-level marketing 1969. Supposedly it shows a "life form" Photoshop 3.0. Most people use that e-mail scheme. You send $10 to the on the Moon, although he conceded program for retouching photos, not for name at the top of the list, remove it, that "we have not been able to see them simply displaying them. He claimed then add your own to the bottom, all on the original tapes." The photo is that it's the only photo program he the while helping to promote the end of labeled, "1969 El Hombre de la Luna." knows how to use. Some of the "NASA the government cover-up. Hopefully It looks like a blurry image of a clay fig- photos" he showed contained copyright Gersten, as a lawyer, has carefully inves- ure, against an indistinct background notices by individuals, indicating that tigated whether or not this scheme vio- looking decidedly non-lunar. they must have been "improved" from lates any of the federal or state statutes At Metepec, Mexico, a UFO landed in their original state. against chain letters. 1994, and out came a luminous extrater- The surface of Mars is, he says, filled Gersten told of a "credible observer," restrial. He showed us a drawing of some- with artificial stuff that was covered up Gary Lowery, who works as a fire inspec- thing looking like an upright slug, with an by a cataclysm that occurred there, then tor. He and his family have ongoing, ET head affixed, but unfortunately to see some of it was gradually uncovered by more or less weekly contacts with beings the video you'd have to attend the work- erosion. He claimed to find "glass tun- that come into their home, entering shop. Apparendy the ETs in Mexico have nels" and "pipelines" on Mars. A through his closet. Gersten's workshop recendy become luminous, and such crea- "Martian Flying Saucer" is perched pre- would showcase Gary and his family, tures are more frequendy being seen, cariously on the edge of a canyon, its talking about the monster in their closet especially in the mountainous deserts of windows and engines visible. There is (the obvious reference to the Sesame Baja California Norte. Maussan says he increasing evidence that the global civi- Street book of that tide was left unsaid). has seen these glowing beings himself lization that once covered Mars was us. Reportedly, during the workshop Gary once. Unforrunately, when he tried to The X-Files, says he, is an "expose"" of showed a video of his closet-monsters, take photos and videos of them, he could the power blocks that are trying to keep who as it turns out are reptoids. He also not, although he didn't explain why. All information from leaking out. Hoag- allegedly has their footprints, preserved he can do is swear to us he's telling the land said that he ought to call today's by putting aluminum foil under a towel truth.