SINCE 1916

VOLUME 81, NUMBER 14 FAREWELL OF THE SWFS DECEMBER 3, 1993 University loses security lawsuit All they want for Christmas not the cause of her distress," she In deposition, Barber said a man by Jeremy Bogaisky said. accosted her in a bathroom stall, but Barber's suit asked for $600,000 she fled without being physically A Houston jury awarded $110,500 for mental anguish and medical and harmed. to a Rice alumna on Nov. 3 in a civil counseling expenses. At that time, Brown's residents had liability lawsuit against Rice Univer- In addition, the suit charged Rice voted to leave the doors facing the sity. with gross negligence, contending that campus unlocked from 7 am until 7 Amy Barber, Brown '89, alleged theuniversity'sconductdemonstrated p.m. Rice's defense attorney, Philip that Rice acted negligently in provid- conscious indifference to Barber's Dye, said it is believed that the assail- ing insufficient security to prevent an welfare. The plaintiffs first amended ant entered the building shortly be- attempted assault made on her in the petition asked for $3 million as puni- fore 7 p.m. Brown seventh-floor bathroom on tive damages for gross negligence. Charles C. Howell was turned in Feb. 12,1989. The suit was tried in the The petition contended that "even by military police to city police in Irv- 165th Harris County District Court though the defendant had the funds ing on Feb. 22,1989. He was convicted The jury that found Rice negligent and personnel with knowledge and for assaulting Barber and two other also dismissed charges of gross neg- skills to correct the security deficien- cases involving female Rice students. ligence against former President cies and the ability to install adequate Seven days before Howell was at George Rupp, then-Vice President of and proper security measures which Brown, a 16-year-old boy entered a Student Affairs Ronald Stebbings, would have prevented Plaintiffs dam- women's bathroom at Hanszen Col- Campus Police Chief Mary Voswinkel ages, it failed to provide adequate se- lege and accosted a student taking a and then-Food and Housing Director curity." It specifically noted a lack of shower. Bob Mathis. "adequate locking devices" and alarms Dye said he thought the Hanszen Shirley Redwine, Rice general on entrances and exits. incident was a key factor in the jury's counsel, said she was disappointed by To determine gross negligence, decision. the outcome. "I believe that Rice's the jury was instructed to determine According to Dye, the university security at that time was better than at whether Rupp, Voswinkel, Stebbings began to install locks on all college other universities. Rice security was or Mathis were responsible. SEE BARBER PAGE 5 Guaranteed Rice tuition rumored College sophomore, said there arc Tuition for the 1992-93 school year by Ron Dror rumors of a plan to guarantee incom- was $8,500. Tuition increased $800 to $9,300 for the current school year. ing students tuition at a fixed level Sid Richardson College's seventh floor makes known its sentiments President Malcolm Gillis may soon during their four years at Rice. Such a Gillis mentioned such a plan as "an about the college's balconies. SRC members have similarly decorated propose dramatic revisions of Rice's program would involve^ substantial approach, an idea" at a lunch meeting otherwindows to protest the balconies remaining locked several weeks tuition and financial aid structure in raise in tuition for new students at on Nov. 19, said SA President Julia after a freshman committed suicide by jumping from the fifth floor. response to widespread concern about Rice, most likely in excess of $800. Farnham. tuition increases, according to sev- Students would pay this amount "Dr. Gillis is trying to develop a eral student leaders. each year they remained at Rice, ad- philosophy and a strategy for tuition "There is a nimor out ... that justed only for inflation, but the fixed ... that is a fact He's going to try to [Gillis] might be comingupwith some amount for each incoming class may have it for this next year," she said. Campanile won't get $5 kind of different economic plan. I don't change. Such a plan would ensure Gillis will definitely define his strat- Rice students failed to pass a referendum on Tuesday calling for a $5 know what it is," said Sid Richardson that students not be forced to leave egy by the 1995-96 school year, increase in the Campanile's $19 blanket tax. College Sen. Linda Kaiser, co-chair of Rice because of unexpected tuition Farnham said. Only 834 students voted in the election, instead of the required 911 the Student AssociationTuition Com increases, although it would not nec- SA Secretary Randy Block empha- students, or 35 percent of the student body, said Student Association mittee. essarily diecrease the total tuition paid sized tuition changes are "just a ru- Secretary Randy Block. The "for" and "against" votes were not counted. Co-Chair David Rhodes, a Will Rice by a student over four years. SEE TUmON PAGE 7 F&H and Brown College face off over co-ed bathrooms

Some have suggested there is a dition," he said. by James Tolle great deal of pressure for students to Renovations Committee member support the co-ed vote. Despite this, Shawn Brooks suggested other op- Food and Housing's proposal to however, a recent poll found 93 per- tions. create separate-sex bathrooms for cent of students surveyed favor no "One possibility is to create single- Brown College has generated protest change to the system, while 6 percent sex bathrooms on every other floor among Brown members, most of said they would prefer single-sex fa- for the entire year, with the college whom are happy with the current sys- cilities. issuing keys for members of each sex tem. There is a small minority who to use their bathroom. A second is to Brown is scheduled for renova- specifically likes co-ed bathrooms and increase the divisions to full walls. tions next summer, and one of the a small minority that specifically That would make each stall a cut-off major changes proposed by F&H in- doesn't like them," said Brown Presi- room with a shower. It would all be volves the college's co-ed bathrooms. dent Rachele Harless. "Mostjust think one unit" F&H Director Marion Hicks said it is ridiculous to spend such an amount Jones College had its bathrooms Houston city code requires separate of money on a thing we don't feel we splitduringrenovationstwoyearsago. bathrooms for men and women when need." But this wouldn't work for Brown bath- renovating. "We [F&H and Brown] do have rooms, Brooks said. "Our bathrooms "The code won't allow males and one point of agreement. There should arc not structured to be split. Jones' females on the same floor without be bathrooms for those who feel peer symmetrical space wasokay fora wall." male and female bathrooms," he said. pressure in the matter." "If the bathrooms were cut in two "It is the code we have to conform to The Brown Renovations Commit- parts, the service of each new bath- when we renovate." tee has discussed many solutions with room would be considerably less than Students' parents also have writ- F&H, but all depend upon the inter- it currently is. They would be long and ten letters objecting to the co-ed bath- pretation of the building code, which thin. Right now, they are big and spa- rooms, according to F&H officials. has only recently become part of the cious. Under the newplan, there would Cu rre n tly, each floor of the college dilemma, Harless said. SEE BRCViSPAGE 7 has one co-ed bathroom. Because Without the code, the original in- Brown was built as an all-women col- terim university policy could be imple- lege, only one large bathroom was mented. allotted for each floor. But when the Through one interpretation of the A&E college became co-ed in 1986, the uni- code, two floors could be singlosex, versity instituted an interim policy in with corresponding bathrooms, and , which every other floor would have a the rest could remain the same, if single-sex bathroom, with the floors single-sex facilities were made avail- Staff pick swapping bathroom sexes at semes- able to members of the college. ter. But Residential Colleges Coordi- best albums Brown members, however, didn't nator BobTruscott said hewasn't sure like the idea of walking up and down if this option would be following the floors to use the bathrooms. Thus, code. The university wants to pro- of'93 now each floor holds an annual vote, vide two different-sex bathrooms on Brown College freshmen Darsh Amrit, left, and Carmen-Gloria Yamal may not be which must be unanimous, to make each floor. Thecity ordinance requires brushing their teeth together next year if Brown's bathrooms go single sex. its bathroom co-ed. it, and we are working under this con- 10 2 FRIDAY. DECEMBER 3. 1993 THE RICE THRESHER OPINION TUITION Guaranteed tuition plan will benefit families if it avoids pitfalls

Rumors of a presidential initiative to add stability to the costs of a Rice education rightfully have students excited. 'Hie plan, which would apparently offer incoming students a guaranteed tuition level over some or all of their stay at Rice, could be a brilliant rethinking of the philosophy PERHAPS TT>WSVOUK behind college financing and a virtual windfall to students and their N\t*FEFEreNCES families. mmsr.wmvsr One of the strongest arguments against tuition increases is that they squeeze the wallets of families who — perhaps naively, perhaps optimis- tically — plan their budgets with the assumption that college costs will remain the same for four or five years. These families can potentially increase their "need-based" financial aid by filing another Financial Aid Form each year, but their true need may not be met. Families could also respond to tuition increases as they do to higher prices atthegrocery store or gas station: by adjusting their consumption downward or switching suppliers. This is not an attractive option when the product is a college education, since each year of education isalmost worthless without the next, and transferring is difficult after developing close ties with the university. It only makes sense that since students are buying a complete education and a degree, their fee reflects their entire purchase, not its GSA should not ignore criticism incremental parts. Such a fee can even be structured to increase the university's revenues, since many would be willing to pay a premium for 'Clarification' shows lack of responsiveness from GSA's administration thepeace of mind that a guaranteed annual fee would bring. In addition, To the editor we currently have in my department, the majority of your constituency. I front-loading university receipts in this way could theoretically allow the The last Thresher contained a let- but even Mr. Elias grudgingly admits also note that the word "informed" university to earn interest on funds in excess of costs each year. ter from Joseph Elias claiming to that some departments currently have can be conveniently defined to ex- The only foreseeable problems lie with the structure of the guaran- "clarify" remarks I had made in an no representation at all.) clude almost anyone. tee. If the guarantee extends for four years, students could be discour- article in a previous 77iresher. As Jo- •As far as events not being publicized If I was uninformed, why was lone seph pointed out, the GSA now docs very well, I can only say that copies of of the first people to write back to Rice aged from taking a semester abroad, adding a double or triple major, or meet in a larger, more accessible roo m. the minutes posted around some of GSA when the following appeared in otherwise extend- the departments around campus the minutes of a recent meeting? "The • • rH ing their stay at Letters hardly constitutes effective advertis- GSA has determined that the gradu- Rice beyond four ing strategy. I realize there are time ate students are not ready for general pinionbl years, since a new and money constraints, but perhaps election of officers." some more effective way of reaching Of course, the GSA does lots of tuition level would THE EDITOR the grad student population could be good things, such as excellent man- presumably kick found. agementoftheloan fund, Valhalla and in for a fifth year. I was referring to the old room, wh ich As for Joseph's comments about the GSA Yellow pages. This docs not On the other was where the last GSA meeting I my not being "informed" enough to mean that there is no room for im- hand, a five-year attended was held. For this mistake, I comment on the discussion (because provement am sorry. I, like mostgraduate students, haven't guarantee might My original argument was that the Several of the other points thai I attended a meeting recently): I keep GSA didn't really appreciate student be an incentive for students to needlessly delay their graduation and made were obviously somewhat mis- "informed" like most graduate stu- input or constructive criticism. Mr. increase their total costs. The transition years might also cause prob- interpreted by Mr. Elias: dents, by reading the minutes. Elias' letter seems only to emphasize lems, since immediate implementation would make the published Rice • In most of my comments I was refer- I have (despite my "busy sched- this point price shoot up dramatically for incoming freshmen. ring to departments which are NOT ule") also attended several GSA meet- adequately represented (I have no ings and picnics, etc. in the past I do Steven McClure If these difficulties can be tolerated or surmounted, a plan that complaints about the representation not think that I am less informed than Physics guarantees more level tuition during students' years at Rice will be a net gain for all involved. Students and their families will enjoy the security of a guaranteed price, while Rice will have yet another unique selling Administration's paternalism unnecessary point in its bid to attract top applicants. call out in a clear voice asking that the parents of the details of each situation. Chris balconies be opened, how does the If each of your parents wrote a administration respond? Whatever letter to President Gillis demanding f ^•^Ihe a | A| siNct ni> Thomas their motives, all we see is a comical an end to the mismanagement of our scramble to pass the responsibility tuition, room and board monies, the Recent events on campus have around fast enough to make us be- administration would probably re- demonstrated how astonishingly little lieve that nobody is in charge, with the spond in a much more responsible Rice Tnresher attention is paid to the voice of the result that the balconies stay shut manner. Which do you prefer — the undergraduate. The administration Wiess Secession from 54,—This is self-respect that comes from fighting Kraettli Epperson, Peter Uowley considers us to be little-«fore than where things get ridiculous and piti- your own battles, or having on-cam- Editors-in-Chief children, making decisions affecting ful. When Wiess College students re- pus living facilities that are fair, decent our daily lives by politely listening to alized the futility of getting anything and free from waste and mismanage- Shane A. Speciale our suggestions and promptly ignor- accomplished in the pseudo-democ- ment racy that is the SA, they seceded in By the way, you're wasting your Business Manager protest Fearful that this would be a money livingon campus, anyway. The Melissa Williams News Editor challenge to their legitimacy, the SA food is expensive and sucks. Cramped Sei Chong Asst. News Editor condemns them. into an ugly room with an ugly room- David Hale Opinion Editor The truth is, students wish the mate and ugly furniture leaves you Vivek Rao Asst. Opinion Editor campus were a democracy, and mem- sour. Why participate in the struggle? MaryAnn McKibben Arts & Entertainment Editor w!%w. bers of the SA cling to this fallacy like You don't have to put up with it Food Marc Hirsh Asst Arts & Entertainment Editor EDGE a man fearful of drowning will cling to and Housing does not have a mo- Torrey Folk Sports Editor ^ a life preserver (even if he is standing nopoly. There are plenty of off-cam- Amy Jeter Sports Editor knee-deep in the kiddie pool). pus alternatives to your current state Jason Katz Asst Sports Editor ing them. It's the same as it is every- Unfortunately, the reason that de- of frustration. Rachel Domhelm Features Editor where else — what is your opinion mocracies are successful doesn't lie in Imagine living off-campus next Terzah Ewing Asst. Features Editor worth if you haven't gotten a univer- any ability to do good things. Instead, semester! Imagine living within 1.5 Eric Stotts Backpage Editor sity degree? A few examples should democracies guarantee participation, miles of campus in a lovely two-story Kevin Mistry Production Manager be enough to convince you. letting us waste our time debating brick house with all-wood floors, plenty Charles Klein Asst Production Manager Food and Housing Complaints — things instead of undertaking armed of space, your own bedroom, free cable Monica Weinheimer Photography Editor Students living on campus have again rebellion. TV, fax machine/Internet access! Haley S. Robertson Ads Manager expressed their complaints about Enough is enough, then. It's time But wait! ThereV more! Experi- KathyiQ'Steen Asst Business Manager Food and Housing. This has been to take action and claim what is right- ence the socially vibrant, yet scholas- going on since the dawn of history, fully ours. tically intense company of four senior The Rice Thresher, the official student newspaper at Rice University ending as it always does: students We are adults in every sense of the roommates! Don't worry about get- since 1916, is published each Friday during the school year, except during complain that prices are too high, the word, aren't we? Weareold enough to ting out of your lease with F&H—the examination periods and holidays, by the students of Rice University. quality of food is too low, the system of vote; many of us are old enough to fine can be waived if you bitch cre- Editorial and business offices are located on the second floorofthe Ley fines arbitrary and unfair at times, drink; most of us are old enough to be atively enough. (Besides, the savings Student Center, P.O. Box 1892, Houston, Texas, 77251. Phone 527-4801. blah, blah, blah. The administration charged with statutory rape; we are in rent you would realize would more e-mail: [email protected]. Advertising information available on hears each complaint, summarily dis- dependents only for federal income than pay for the fine imposed.) $150/ request Mai subscription rate per semester. $20.00 domestic, $40.00 missing each as 'impossible'. Alas, tax purposes because our parents can month plus utilities. Interested par- international via first class mail. Non-subscription rate: first copy free, caveat emptor. What'cha gonna do? claim a deduction for each of us until ties should call the Compound at second copy $1.00. Sid Richardson Balconies—Again, we graduate; thus, the administration 6300973. Unsigned editorials represent the majority opinion of the Thresher the lack of action on the part of the can claim in loco parentis and rule our Editorial Staff. All other pieces represent the opinion of the author. administration stands ouL While the on-campus lives. Chris Thomas is a Sid Richardson Obviously. © COPYRIGHT 1993 students of Sid Richardson College What can be done? Inform your College senior. _ — OPINION THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1993 3 Snapple: how many uses can you come up with for it? stinct which not only provides the stroy from the moment weeat our first steps: "Put shampoo in hair. Lather eye. It looked like an average pre- entire impetus for our behavior, but Hot Wheels tire. until foaming. Rinse well. Repeat" sweetened raspberry iced tea drink, Jym also imparts the quality which endears If I needed to be told this, I would but the side clearly read, "Shake well Schwartz us to the other species on the planet; be so stupid that I'd use the entire before using.' (Emphasis added.) the urge to consu me. I don't care what bottle in 40 minutes. Granted, this What could this mean? Here I was would make me an exemplary con- drinking the damn thing when all It has been thousand s ofyears since the doctors say, that first wail each sumer with very clean hair, but my life across the country there are people humans were born with any kind of child gives is for all the things they'll expectancy would be comparable to using Snapple beverages. instinct whatsoever. We come into be wanting from then on to the grave. that of Barney the Dinosaur at a frat this world naked and, to be frank, And so we go forth, consuming I queried the group as to what the party. pretty damn stupid. everything—Twin kies, planes, news- meaning of this could be, and one Other times I find the instructions person (who shall remain nameless Not that intelligence has anything papers, houses, pork chops with mint have been written by some kind of for legal and aesthetic purposes) sug- to do with instinct except to say that apple jelly, gasoline, radios, baseball Zen Buddhist prankster. My shaving gested that a raspberry iced tea en- we are born without either, which hats, Elvis records and life-size Marilyn Given this natural propensity, why cream label begins with the enigmatic ema is extremely pleasant on those leaves the average schmuck without Monroe posters. is it that manufacturers feel the need comman d," Leave yo ur face weL" Now, days when you just don't feel fresh. purpose or defense in the grand Despite the handicap of having to to include explicit instructions on ev- why is my face wet? Are they presum- scheme of nature. actually learn the "socially acceptable" erything? For example, my shampoo Clearly, this is a simple case in ing I just got out of the shower? Do which the instructions only hint at the Of course, like any statement in methods of procurement (i.e.— bottle tells me every morning (for it's they think I'm going to get out of the world of possibilities for this product. this column, this is also a big fat lie. money for goods), we all know how to never too early to look for intellectual shower and dry off everything but my Even now, I am relishing the thought Humans are born with a single in- fold, spindle, mutilate, use and de- stimulation) that I should follow these face just because the canister told me of getting home tonight and getting so? Or does this involve shaving only down to some serious using of that when you suddenly find your face case I just bought (If only I could tell wet? you what I'm going to do, but you Diversity debate is needed on campus I guess they only want me to shave really should explore this vista of con- To the editor: motes diversity in its faculty. people you didn't hire.' when I get caught in the rain or bathe sumption on your own.) The letters in the Nov. 5 edition on Ultimately, this issue is about Diversity works, and it is the fu- the caL (Usually I leave this type of The lesson of this column? Brush faculty diversity are clearly an example people and politics. The list of candi- ture, whether the Mr. Howleys of the criticism to Andy Rooney, but some- your teeth twice a day, read all labels of respond ing to an extreme view with dates that can impart wisdom to col- world agree with it or not However, times you just find yourself over the carefully and consult with the local one almost as extreme. lege freshmen is certainly greater than diversity also has consequences, as line.) utilities before digging deep holes. I did not see the original editorial the list of those Rice would find suit- does rejecting diversity and maintain- All of these little quirky phrases Sinite Vona Tempores Volvere and of Mr. Howley. However, if Ms. Pulich able to hire. Would hiring a more ing the status quo. Only a lively debate aside, there is one product which Calcium Propionate added to assure quotes him correctly (The university diverse faculty erode research and within the Rice University community downright worries me — Snapple. freshness and 2,000 years of love. should adopt color-blind hiring as the scholarship? Unfortunately, you'll will determine the proper answer for One day, I was lunching on a rock only just means to the questionable never know the answer unless you this particular school. with a few close personal acquaintan- Jym Schwartz is a second-year graduate end of a diverse faculty"), then the divine for yourself what research ces, when I became aware that there student in the department of Geology scorn dumped on Mr. Howley is well- would have been conducted by the Barry A. Curtis was more to my drink than met the and Geophysics. deserved. History has shown repeat- edly that hiring on a color-blind basis will result in a maintenance of the status quo (i.e. the faculty will con- tinue to be dominated by white males). As a hiring manager that has ad- dressed this issue repeatedly, I know SECOND TO NONE RESALE SHOP that diversity occurs only by aggres- sive use of affirmative action. It is equally naive, though, for Mr. Mo benefitting the Houston Area ' Diversity works, and it TEA is the future. ' Women's Center 1435 Westheimer ("on the Curve") Where coffee is an art not an afterthought™ rales to assume that "the threat of 528-1062. SPECIALTY COFFEES A TEAS • CAPPUCCINO • ESPRESSO discrimination lawsuits has no merit" ICED COFFEES & TEAS • PASTRIES • ATMOSPHERE If he tru ly is a social science major, he 4321 Montrose Blvd. • 521.2002 (1 block So. of Richmond) knows from recent legislation and le- Hours: Tuesday - Saturday 104 M-Th 7-11 • Fri-Sat 7-12 • Sat 8-12 • Sun 8-11 gal decisions that fighting discrimina- 1 tion suits is extraordinarily difficult Thursday 107 I •BUY ONE BEVERAGE, I Companies are frequently assumed I guilty until proven innocent Proving GET ONE FREE I innocence requires extensive record- ! Great clothes, low prices! Expires Jan. 1, 1994 I keeping and drastic actions, such as I closing on-site placement offices and stopping ad placements in newspa- pers. These reactions result in the ittiaiHlliiiiiiHiiiiHiiiMM lessening of opportunities for jobs, particularly for minorities that have no natural" networks" to u se to hear of DEC. S, 9, 10, 612 WE'RE OPEN Till 3AM!!! job openings. Such measures raise employer costs, which eventually result in fewer job openings. Thus, ironically, at- FRCS COFFEE 6 SCRUMPCIOUS STUDY SNACKS tempts to diversify work forces (in the short term, anyway) slowjob creation. It is clear, however, that the long-term GIVEN OUT AT IIPM C I AM! benefits of a diverse work force out- weigh such short-term issues. The difficulty arises when well- meaning attempts at affirmative ac- tion harden into forced quotas. It is misguided for both Ms. Pulich and Mr. Morales to assume that "merit" is an "objective" standard. By traditional "objective" measures, a white male educated at Yale and Stanford is "more qualified" than a woman of color edu- cated at Grambling. Such compari- sons miss the point. The question for Rice and other universities is whether the candidate !» from Grambling is "good enough" (i.e. can she contribute to the learning of the students?). Even the term learn- ingis subjective; is "book" learning or li/e-experience more important? Are both equally important? Given the "increasing diversity of U.S. society (inevitable based on the demographics referred to in both let- ters), perhaps ethnic tolerance is more important than scholarly knowledge. Those that disagree with such an as- sertion will say such views contribute to the "lowering of standards" at Rice or any university that actively pro- 4 FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3. 1993 THE RICE THRESHER OPINION Double submission violates Are you lonely honor code at universities fessor of the class sets any and all Sam policy for his or her class. What is allowed is up to him or her. Cole When publishing work in schol- and romantic? arly journals, for example, it is consid- Since the publication of the book ered wrong to submit an article even entitled "Academic Fraud and the in a revised state to a second journal Are you seriously searching for love? Honor System," there has been some for publication without clearly inform- conlusion about the rules regarding ing the journal that the article has the multiple submission of papers. It been previously published. Similarly, is considered academic fraud to it is wrong to concurrently submit an Do the people around you at school seem dull, "resubmi[t] ... any work ... that has unpublished article to two or more been used in identical or similar form journals without informing the jour- complacent, unromantic, and pack-oriented? in fulfillment of any academic require- nals that one is doing such. ment at this or another institution ... A separate but related issue to withoutprior permission from the pro- resubmitting old papers involves us- fessor" (The Honor Council. "Aca- Have you been disappointed in your hope to find demic Fraud and the Honor System." someone you could love? Houston: Rice University, 1993. p. 4). Rewrites of old essays or concurrent submissions are valid if and only if both instructors give permission (5). r HONOR This is not a new rule, nor is it one that the Honor Council at Rice made The Happy Few. up in the distant past Although this is the first time this rule has been writ- ing previously-written computer code. can send you self-descriptive ten down at Rice, it has long been part Some professors would not consider of the established rules of scholarship it appropriate to reuse old code in an essays written by intelligent that govern the academic life at insti- assignment It is therefore advisable tutions of higher learning, not some- to check with the professor of the people who are, like you, thing unique to Rice. By publishing class to clarify his or her rules regard- "Academic Fraud and the Honor Sys- ingsuch use. As in allformsof intellec- longing for something more. tem," the Honor Council is attempting tual property, code must be properly to clarify correct procedure as well as documented to give credit to the au- You decide whom to contact. make such information more acces- thor. sible to the student body. The Honor Council encourages Double-dipping for credit violates comment on this as well as all issues. Also open to gays. Membership $20 per year. the standard assumptions used by Please address questions or com- professors when assigning work. With- ments to Honor Council c/o the Of- out priorapproval, the implicitassump- fice of the Dean of Students, contact tion is that the work submitted for an Honor Council member, or come credit is done for the purposes of the to an Open Meeting. Electronically, For free information, write to: The Happy Few assignment and has not been done for write to [email protected] or another course. The system of credit post to rice.honor-council. Dept. RT, Box 382805 hours is based on the premise that additional credit requires additional Sam Cole is a Lovett College junior and Cambridge, MA 02238 thought and work. However, the pro- a member of the Honor Council

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mlIr.nii »;•('• <,! \>j>!> 1 ofn/mlci NEWS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY. DECEMBER 3, 1993 5 University moves to a dry campus — sidewalks, that is

by Christof Spieler fast enough." The campus storm sewer system is big enough to handle the water, but When the sky darkens and begins sometimes the storm sewer system to rain, Rice students pull out umbrel- for the area is overloaded," Price said. las and duck shoes. As the downpour Anotherproblem Price mentioned continues, low sectionsof campus side- is that drains and sewer lines may be walks fill with water. blocked, constricting flow. Mainte- The campus slowly — but surely nance crews are sent out before and — begins to flood. during rains to clean out drains. The Rice system has not been mod i- "Part of the problem is that drains fied since the late 1940s, Price said. are blocked by debris," Price said. Mack also said the system has not There may also be blockages un- been thoroughly inspected in several derground. Tree roots block sewer years. For this reason, Price has re- lines as they grow into them, seeking quested funds for a video camera sur- water. vey of Rice storm and sanitary sewers F&E maintenance planner Hannes to spot blockages and broken pipes. Hofer is in charge of sidewalks. He Campus flooding is probably most frequently goesoutduring downpours noticeable on the paths connecting to assess the problem and has done a buildings. The biggest problem is that full inspection of Rice's 20 miles of low sections become flooded, leaving paths. students not fortunate enough to pos- He also directs a continuous sess rain boots with wet feet. $10,000-20,000 replacement program Rice University's drainage prob- which went to about 4,000 square feet lems have been around for years, and of paths last year. no solution is imminent But univer- About 80 percent of the money, he sity officials say they are making head- said, went to complete replacement of way. sidewalk sections. The rest of the "I think we're going to catch up money went to areas that were with the problem," said Russell Price, "mudjacked," or lifted by injecting mud maintenance manger of Facilities and or polyurethane foam beneath the Engineering. "It'sdefinitely solvable." pavement A typical view of the Rice campus? It may not be so if the Facilities and Engineering department has its way. F&E is responsible for maintain- Most broken or sunken sidewalks ing campus landscaping, Rice's net- may be blamed on ground settlement work of paths and the storm sewer or subsidence. Civil engineering Pro- Jones reacts to controversial ritual system. According to Price, efforts fessor Panos Dakoulas said the top are being made to improve all of these eight to 12 feet of clay beneath the sion by college members. A referen- if they didn't want to." to keep campus drier. walks expands and contracts depend- by Michael Nimri dum will take place sometime this The second proposal was drafted "We're addressing problems as ing on the amount of water in the spring. by Lopez and freshman Will IJ, both they arise and taking care of potential ground. These movements are differ- Jones College is considering The first of the three proposed of whom live on the third-south wing. problems beforehand," he said. ent at each point, resulting in tilted, amendments to its constitution in re- amendments emphasizes that Jones The second proposal is a blanket Rice's system is connected to city broken or sunken sections of walk. sponse to a controversial tradition vig- members implicitly "belong to a com- on everyone, and not just concerning storm sewers, which empty into Braes Hofer said sidewalk construction orously protested this year by several munity" in which "established rules of sexual harassment," Lopez said. "The Bayou to the south. is not the problem. He also dismissed college members. decorum based upon consensual whole conflict right now within the Additionally, a portion of the field suggestions that maintenance cart traf- In "Midnight Madness," the men agreement are fundamental forachiev- college is whether or not the amend- between Hanszen College and Autry fic may be damaging the paths. of Jones' south wing third floor throw ing harmonious communal relations." ment needs to address specifically the Court serves as a retention pond for "[The paths] are constructed very women into showers on the night of It also stresses college support for aspect of sexual harassment as op- extra runoff. As city sewers and the well, heavier than a normal driveway. the first Physics 101, Math 101 or university policy on sexual harassment posed to addressing any other form of Rice system back up, water overflows They should be able to hold a cart or Chemistry 101 exam, according to and assault discrimination or harassment. What into that area, which slowly drains as even a small truck," he said. Jones sophomore Rick Lopez. " I th in k ou r master descri bed it the we were interested in doing is protect- the downpour subsides. He said ground subsidence "is Marty Makulski, a Jones junior, best in saying that although it is obvi- ing everyone's rights." Asked if the Rice storm sewer sys- definitely the biggest problem," and said last year Midnight Madness did ous that as a college, we are under the lx>pcz said the first proposal at- tem is inadequate, F&E Director Wil- there is nothing he can do to prevent not happen because of the interven- rules of the university, Ithe amend- tempts to label Midnight Madness as liam Mack said, "We don't believe the it. tion of several upperclassmen. ment] kind of empowers us," said sexual harassment, "which doesn't sewers are undersized." He also said The repair budget is limited so This year several women protested Jones President Audrey Chun. "By accomplish anything." the problem may lie with the city sys- priority isgiven to safety hazards such the tradition, prompting college dis- putting it explicitly into our constitu- "Idon'tthinkanybodyatjones has tem. The water just doesn't get out SEE FLOODING PAGE 6 cussion forums and an committee to tion, it pretty much gives the college come up with a clear consensus on an propose an amendment to the Jones the power to act. If some sort of inci- actual^ definition of what sexual ha- constitution. dent should occur, a person could rassment is. That makes the whole SA Business Three amendments are under re- come to the college government and thing of trying to resolve the issue that vision but will be resubmitted to the bring it up within the college first much harder," he said. The Student Association Senate met Nov. 22 and 29. The following were discussed: Jones Cabinet for review and discus- without having to go to the university SEE JONES PAGE 7

• Senate, members have met with Dean Currie to discuss tuition. Another meeting will be scheduled to continue the discussion, NEWS IN BRIEF including Food and Housing costs as well. See story page 1.

Group trying to save Pub Committee member Michael closing door at Anderson Hall has led • A study will be implemented to decide if the $250 currently provided A committee evaluating the finan- Woodbury, Student Association vice to the posting there of a Campus Po- by Financial Aid for books is sufficient for undergraduates on cially troubled Willy's Pub has come president for internal affairs, said the lice officer. Nightly patrolling and scholarship. up with two possibilities for reducing committee won't have a final proposal monitoring by police will continue expenses of the on-campus bar. ready until mid-January. there until a card reader, currently on • Brown College Sen.-John "Sparkles" Koshy replaces Jenna One plan is for the administration Sanborn said that in coming up order, is installed for the door. Christensen, who resigned her position to study abroad in the to permanently waive the Pub's dis- with some options, the committee tried The architecture department spring.

tributive charges, according to Bob to satisfy all parties involved. "We're worked with students to discourage ».• Sanborn, committee member and as- trying to walk a balancing line so that door propping, but its "first approach • A resolution on tuition was passed 164. SA President Julia sociate dean of student affairs. the plan will appeal to students in that through compliancedidn'twork," said Farnham will discuss the issue Monday with President Malcolm Distributive charges are fees for we won't be changing the Pub that Campus Police Chief Mary Voswinkel. Gillis before he meets with the Board of Governors on Tuesday. rent, utilities and services levied by much, but at the same time we're Patrolling now occurs between 10 the Rice administration on campus changing it just enough so that it ap- p.m. and "whenever the students clear • The Senate is working on a Riceinfo account to provide general enterprises. peals to the administration." out," she said. Senate information to the student body. Asecond proposal is that the Pub's According to Sanborn, the second The School of Architecture is pay- size be altered. Under this plan, the plan requires ripping out the front ing for the card reader. "It's going to • Funds for a new SA office computer were approved 19-1. Pub's common area, pool table and wall of the Pub to create free access to cost us a couple of thousand, but it is satellite television would be turned theproposed student lounge area.The really ridiculous to have someone Next meeting: Monday at 10 p.m. in the Ley Student Center's Kelley into a student lounge open to students furniture in the lounge area would be posted at the door," said sophomore Lounge. during regular Rice Memorial Center upgraded. architecture major Gail Borden. — compiled by Andrew Coulston hours. The official Pub area would be Pub Manager Doug Tapley said — by Chris Bachers confined solely to the bar itself along the Pub would have to find a means of with the storage room and office area locking off the bar area when it is not the Pub currently uses. in operation, and that buying a bur- Crime on campus A smaller operating area would glary gate for the bar might be a prob- Academic buildings decrease the Pub's distributive lem. 5:30 p.m. Nov. 22 - 4 p.m. Nov. 23 Unattended wallet stolen from unoccupied classroom charges to a more affordable level. "It would have to be a custom job, sat'' The Pub has suffered "financially which looks pretty exjttnsive," he said. for several years and is in danger of Sanborn said he is hopeful thatthis Colleges Locked bike taken from rack closing. This year Rice waived $7,000 proposal will solve the Rib's prob- 1 p.m. Nov. 14 - 2:45 p.m. Nov. 15 in back distributive charges to keep lems. 11:30 a.m. - 12 p.m. Nov. 19 Unattended backpack taken from public area Money taken from wallet in unlocked room the bar afloat until a decision could be "Students should still be con- 1-1:03 p.m. Noy. 21 made about its future. cerned, however," he said. "I'm very 6:30-7:15 p.m. Nov. 22 Ring taken from public restroom 12-1 p.m. Nov. 24 Debit card used without authorization The committee will present fin- optimistic. The committee has come Unattended jacket and wallet taken from public area ished proposals for President Mal- up^vith a solid proposal." 12-1:15 p.m. Nov. 24 colm Gillis and interim Vice President — by Michael Bogaisky for Student Affairs Sarah Burnett to Parking lots • reviewon Feb. 1,1994. The final fate of Officer watching broken door 3:26-3:35 p.m. Nov. 24 Vehicle stolen; later recovered in northeast Houston the Pub depends on their decision. A propped-open and improperly 6 FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1993 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS Texas A&M faculty support multiculturalism requirement

Groups. The program would be company got dozens of complaints abridge free expression to "govern- Instead orwaiting four to six weeks by Melissa Williams phased in over a three-year period and that Steshenko's messages were of- ment-run institutions." including state for results to arrive in the mail, stu- fully take effect in 1997. fensive and sometimes obscene. universities, she said. dents will be able to press a key on AllTexasA&M University students Opposing senators argued the plan Last month he was disconnected Source: The Associated Press via their computer at the end of the exam would be required to take courses in would delay students' graduation or from Internet by UTD, where he is a The Daily Texan, UTAustin, Nov. 15 and get their scores immediately. international and U.S. minority stud- lead to racial disharmony. graduate student in engineering. The Instead of paying $48, they will pay ies under a proposal approved by fac- The bottom line is, the plan is a university said his messages strayed GRE goes computerized $93 for the computerized GRE. dramatic restriction of course selec- from any educational purposes. The Educational Testing Service, And instead of everyone taking the tion that tends toward political cor- UTD says the matter is simple: creators of the examinations that give same test, the "adaptive" computer rectness, even if all the courses aren't," Steshenko broke the rules that limit Americans the jitters—theSAT.GRE, exam means that rarely will any two said Richard Stadelmann, senate par- the use of Internet to exchanges re- reAT — last month took a major step students get the same questions. Stu- liamentarian and a professor of phi- lated to course work. toward eliminating the standardized dents will start with a randomly se- losophy who also fought the liberal His postings make liberal use of paper and pencil test with the intro- lected question of medium difficulty. arts proposal. terms such as "holhol," which many duction of a computerized version of If they answer correctly, the computer Source: Houston Chronicle,Mm 9 Ukrainians regard as a racial epithet; the Graduate Record Examination. feeds them a harder question; of they have compared the official Ukrainian Though paper and pencil will re- answer incorrectly, they get an easier THE HEDGES Student sues for free speech national symbol — the trident — to a main an option for now, by the 1996-97 question. Each successive question on electronic mail network sexual device; and have implied a ho- school year all 400,000 students who gets harder or easier depending on ulty leaders last month. Free speech isa new, coveted right mosexual relationship between Rus- take the GRE each year for admission how they did on the previous ques- After 11/2 hoursofdebate, A&M's for Gregory Steshenko, a recent im- sian President Boris Yeltsin and Ukrai- to graduate school will do it on a com- tion. The more a student answers dif- faculty senate voted 45-27 to recom- migrant from Eastern Europe. And he nian President Ijeonid Kravchuk. puter. ficult questions correctly, the higher mend a multiculturalism plan similar is testing its limits in the computer IVovocative language is not un- Instead of sitting in a room with the score. to a con tro versial req uiremen t adopted age. usual on the network, and when it hundreds of other people on one of The computerized GRE is now, for liberal arts students five months Twice in the past five months au- comes to politics, the usual policy is five annual test dates, students will be available at 170 locations, compared ago. The plan now goes to interim thorities have pulled the plug on com- "anything goes," says John Harlan, of able to go to a computer center and with 1,149 locations for the paper-and- (Vesident Dean Gage. ments Steshenko has made about Oxford, Ohio. Harlan is the manager take the GRE on any of several days pencil version. "I think a truly consultative pro- Russian and Ukrainian politics on of the Russian and Ukrainian elec- during the week, for a total of more Source.'The New YorkTimes, Nov. cess and the persuasive argument that Internet, a worldwide computer net- tronic mailing lists that Steshenko fo- than 150 days a year. 15 knowledge of many cultures is neces- work. cuses on. engineering quads will be replaced sary in a global economy made this Now, Steshenko has decided to Steshenko says the university's over winter break. plan attractive to faculty," said Senate strike back. definition of "instructional purposes" Flooding F&E also hopes to improve drain- Speaker James Morgan. "They know Steshenko, a student at the Uni- is too narrow. He says his political FROM PAGE 5 age by landscaping some areas. Price charges of political correctness are versity of Texas at Dallas, has filed a discussions make him a better stu- said in some spots, lowplaceson lawns just a smoke screen." $2 million lawsuit against the school dent, and notes that other students as broken sections. Sections prone to flooding are considered to be merely allow water to collect If Gage approves, the A&M plan for disconnecting him from Internet use the network for "news group" dis- "nuisance." In others, earth has been built up would make the College Station uni- for his critical comments. The lawsuit cussions of everything from Haiti to While these have lower priority, to a level above the sidewalks. "On a versity a leader in the kind of curricu- charges Steshenko's rights of free sex. they accounted for about half of the case-by-case basis, we sec what we lum change that's caused a national speech were violated. I .egal experts said h is lawsuit cou Id budget last year. can do," he said. hue and cry in rccent years. One state Ixgal experts say the case could test the bounds of free speech in elec- higher education official said he knows test whether free speech laws extend tronic forums and on universities. Mostrepair and replacement work According to Price, these efforts to is done over the summer or during improve drainage are bringing resu Its. of no Texas school that has imple- to electronic exchanges of ideas. "What makes it unique is that we're vacations. "I remember when the entire inner mented a multicultural requirement. "I am trying to live in a normal, talking about a brand new medium," Ho for said sections along the in ner loop would be flooded — now we've Under the proposal, students democratic society," the Ukraine na- said Shari Steele, cou nsel for the Elec- loop at Anderson Hall, near Lovctt gotitbacktoonlya fewisolatcd places. would take one course in international tive told 77te Dallas Morning News in tronic Frontier Foundation, a group Hail and between the academic and I think we're getting there," he said. cultures and onein U.S. minority stud- its Nov. 14 editions. "1 didn't leave that aims to protect the freedom of ies. Students could choose from 130 Russia to live in another totalitarian individuals who communicate by com- courses, including everything from state." puter. Barber on immediately." Shakespeare to The Old South and In June, the emigre was fired from Case law has extended the consti- Rcdwine said she thought jurors from iNear East Religions to Minority Microsoft Corp. after the software tutional requirement that no laws shall FROM PAGE 1 held the university to a higher stan- bathrooms during the week after the dard than a strictly legal interpreta- Hanszen incident. tion. Brown, because of its relatively She said the correct legal interpre- limited accessibility, was one of the tation involved whether Rice met ordi- last colleges to receive bathroom nary standards as established by se- locks. curity at other universities. "For a big institution, Rice acted Barber refused to comment. Her very quickly," Dye said. "I think jurors attorneys, H.L O'Neal and Robert J. misapprehended [this situation].They Thomas, were not available for com- APPLE COMPUTER thought the locks should have been ment IS LOOKING FOR What's wrong with this?

by Chet Chetson Michael Bias. PART-TIME STUDENT REPS^.W Ox was arrested at 11:00 p.m. Sat night at his room in Weiss Ox Brown was arrested last college. "Ox seemed like such a week for murdering Dr. Williams nice boy", said Wiess master Dr. (a english Prof) on Sat February Farr, "I didn't expect him to ruth- 12,1992, with a nife; I didn't do it lessly kill anyone. [the murder]", the vicious killer Ox will be incarserrated at the said. Harris county Juvenile Detention It was the 1st murder in Rice's Center until his trial on February one hundred and 97 year history, 30, 1992. The charge carries a exclaimed university spokesman maximum fine of 500 dollars. If you know (or even if you don't), we invite you to apply to the Rice Thresher. Get fame, fortune and the inside scoop on trivial campus matters as a news reporter for Rice's only non-ftrce News newspaper. Macintosh Enthusiast Call 527-4801 for details. Great Communications Skills Team Player RENTAL For morje information contact the Rice Book Store or Send resume to: Direct-To-Campus One Day Delivery & Pick-Up Apple Computer, Inc. $10.99 Attn.: Rice Student Rep Program Weekend Package Delivery 2950 North Loop West, Suite 1070 Thurs. - Sun. $22.99 within 30 min. Houston, TX 77092 (plus 1 free Video) to 1 hr.

CALL LINC.ALA VCR at 528-01 17 NEWS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3. 1993 7

their co-ed bathrooms. Hicks said no college presidents, Gillis mentioned tration should continue in the spirit of Brown decision has been finalized. Tuition the possibility of fixed tuition "as an the school's charter to balance the idea that's been around for years," budget by means other than unneces- FROM PAGE 1 "My personal feeling is that co-ed FROM PAGE 1 restrooms are not appropriate in said Baker College President Steve sary tuition increases." only be two showers and stalls for today's society, but I do not want stu- mor right now. All I can really do is Graham. Graham also noted that Gillis The SA Tuition Committee met each sex," Harless said. dents to think that every decision is confirm that there is some sort of a did not particularly emphasize the idea with Currie on Nov. 17 to discuss Twenty-five students use each based on personal feeling," Truscott plan." Farnham said she will meet with tuition. "We talked to him about why it floor's bathroom. The four showers said. "We have discussions all the time Gillis again on Monday to discuss stu- was important that tuition stay down occasionally have lines now, but giv- Brooks said he feels the u niversity's about ways to cut costs and raise rev- dents' reasons for opposing tQition in the future," Kaiser said. ing only two showers to each sex decision to change the bathrooms is enues so that we can keep the tuition increases and to encourage Gillis to Kaiser said the committee has also means peak hours will causc prob- based on three major points. down," said Dean Currie, vice presi- share these reasons at the meeting of collected students' stories about the lems for students, she said. One concerns personal liability. In dent for finance and administration. the Board of Governors on Tuesday. negative effects of tuition increases. The inconvenience will be even 1987, Brown member Amy Barber "President Gillis is really interested She also will present the following The committee is planning another worse because floor populations are was assaulted in a bathroom by a non- in new ways of looking at tuition," resolution, approved at the Nov. 29 SA meeting with Currie, she said. not split equally by gender. The Rice male. - Currie said. He declined to comment meeting: "Rice is historically a low- While decisions on next year's tu- thought of 15 members of one sex The second reason he mentioned further on Gillis' ideas, saying it would tuition, high-financial-aid institution. ition arc not yet final, Currie said, "I using two showers on some floors is was the parental complaints sent to be premature to do so. The Student Association Senate is re- think it's a certainty that there'll be a even more preposterous, she said. Brown's resident associate and mas- At a Nov. 1 lunch meeting with solved that the university's adminis- tuition increase." The price tag for bathroom reno- ter. vations runs from$250,000to $420,000, "Parent complaints have been com- Harless said. ing for quite a while, four or five from "The price depends on the archi- freshmen parents, although not ex- tectural scheme used. Our goal is no clusively," Harless said. more than $35,000 per bathroom," Harless said parents rarely com- Daybreak Hair Salon Truscott said. Since Brown has seven plain more than one year, perhaps r BOOk 1 floor bathrooms, at this rate the cost because most students are comfort- would be $245,000. able with the situation. She said paren- 522-2350 • In the Village* Brooks said the Renovations Com- tal input has played a role in the deci- Now For The mittee has been given figures of sion but is not the sole reason. 2437 1/2 University Blvd. $30,000 to $60,000 per facility. The third reason deals with the Brown members are concerned Houston code. "This should not be an Holidays 1/2 price hair cut that there might not be enough for end-all," Brooks said. "Why can there other improvements if Brown's reno- not be exceptions?" vation fund pays for the bathroom He said students want more au- costs. Harless said the university pays tonomy in making decisions about Boston $184* for all renovation costs, and said she the bathrooms. "Food and Housing was told the cost would be about $1 seems to be imposing something for New York $184* million. no reason. We understand that there Seattle $184* She said Brown's goal was to use are going to be people who respond to San Francisco $125 the money for other projects. peer pressure. We'd like to make a "Certain things have to be done bathroom available for their use. But, Los Angeles $125" and one is to meet code when we we don't want Food and Housing to renovate," Hicks said. "If we had just tell us what to do," he said. •Fares are each way from Houston. Restric- tions apply. Taxes not included. Call for $400,000 to do Brown, we'd have to Brooks said F&H waited to make a other worldwide destinations. spend it meeting codes. We're still decision about the bathrooms until it looking at it, still getting dollars lined came time to renovate, but students up, and still trying to work with the have become accustomed to the college." present arrangements. "By waiting so Tru scott said the decision is a tough long, students see it as an invasion of Council Itavd one since many members want to keep rights," he said. 2000 Guadalupe St. Austin, TX 78705 according to Lopez, states that every- 512-472-4931 Jones one has the right to ljve in an environ- FROM PAGE 5 mentin which personal considerations We issue Eurailpasses and respect for college members are on-the-spot! According to Joanne Savage, a observed. Jones junior who helped write the first Lopez expressed regret over the proposal, the decision to amend the whole situation. "It's really sad be- Gain the Competitive Edge for a Career in Finance with constitution had a more symbolic cause I think a lot of the miscommu ni- meaning than the actual amendment cation and misunderstanding involved "I thought the most important part with the whole incident in general has was about communal living and not really produced a lot of bad feeling GWs Master of Science in Finance the restatement of Rice policy because with people." obviously Jones has to follow that any- "I don't think people are aware that A Focused Degree Advanced Curriculum way ... just to say that we respect each we are truly sorry and that we realize The intensive MSF program builds upon prior The challenging curriculum covers all major areas of other's rights and we think it's impor- what we did is wrong and I think the degrees in business, economics and other finance, with an emphasis on applied research and tant to remember that we're living in a whole important thing out of this is quantitative disciplines. With its different focus, modeling, as well as international and regulatory- that the tradition itself is dead," he MSF students gain more in-depth specialization dimensions. Courses are taught by internationally rec- community," she said. in financial theory and management than is said. ognized full-time faculty. According to Chun, references to typically available through MBA programs. "Midnight Madness" will be taken out Brandon Kirby, also a third-south of the revision of the first prpposed resident said, "hopefully, in the fu- A Fast Track A Valuable Network of Peers ture, these things won't happen and amendment You can complete your degree in one Many students in the MSF program are already suc- Savage agreed with the decision. everybody can really learn to get along calendar year full-time or two years part-time. cessful professionals who work in prominent national "That's not the focus of [the amend- again the right way. We certainly don't and international organizations. ment]," she said. support any form of discrimination or A Key Location The third proposed amendment, harassment" GW's School of Business and Public A Convenient Schedule Management is located next door to the MSF classes are held on Thursday, Friday and World Bank and International Monetary Saturday, so you have the option of seeking an intern- The Best Pizza In Town... Fund, and close to the Federal Reserve, ship or working while you study. Faculty are available 664-5700 the U.S. Treasury Department and major to assist you in identifying professional opportunities. -rfwe&tr/ Take Out financial market regulatory agencies. 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HOLIDAY READS C'mere, punk: CyberCulture Houston is rolling into town Dec. 10-12, bringing with it virtual You've got the time — relax with a read reality, robotic scupltures and interactive exhibits for the BY KARIN KROSS AND she has returned with a vengeance. Atwood battles with Alii (Lou Gehrig's disease) and his technically minded, and those of DARREN GLASS retraces the slash-and-bum path Zenia took days at school. Most interesting was an essay he us who just like to play with through the lives of Tony, Charis and Roz, and wrote entitled "A brief history oiA Brief History THE ROBBER BRIDE then comes back to the present for their last in which he writes about his reactions to the expensive toys. At the MARGARET ATWOOD confrontations with her. cult status that his earlier book has achieved. Commerce Street Warehouse and The Robber Bride shares its theme,what If you're looking for moving social commen- Gallery, 231S Commerce St., east of It's agood thing writers like Margaret Atwood women are capable of doing to each other in a tary, you could probably do better. But these exist. She is remarkable in that all of her works, world run by men, with Atwood's The Handmaid's essays provide insight into one of the greatest downtown. Tickets are $6 — call 227- prose and poetry alike, are consistently good. Tale and Cat's Eye. But The Robber Bride is often minds of this century. 8917 to get 'em or for info. Her newest. The Robber Bride, is no exception; it lighter and much more humorousthan theother After these essays and a short explanation of is smart, funny and one of her best to two books. Atwood's prose is as sparkling and hiss approach to agrand unifying theory, Hawk- date. witty as ever. She is acutely observant and deftly ing jumps right into the science. The essays vary Schumann, Beethoven and Brahms tell The Robber Bride is the story of captures the voices of all of her characters. quite broadly both in topics and in accessibility. you their wildest fantasies Saturday three successful women and their The novel is intelligent, drawing frequently Some of the essays, including "The Origin of arch-nemesis Zenia. Tony (short for on western literature. The title itself is a twist on The Universe" are very simple to read and suc- Dec. 4 at 8 p.m. at the Wortham Center. Antoinette) is a strong-willed military the fairy tale "The Robber Bridegroom." This ceed on a level of A Brief History Of Time. Other It's DaCamera's Fantasies and Fairy historian who has been least scathed relationship to fairy tale allows Atwood to get essays, such as "Is the End in Sight for Theoreti- by Zenia's manipulations. Charis, for- away with a character like Zenia. cal Physics?" are extremely difficult to under- Tales program, and tickets are anywhere merly called Karen, is a new-age earth She is impossibly, cheerfully evil in away that stand and jump around quite a bit. between $13 and $27.50. Information mother who seems at first merely few characters are these days, and she ulti- The book ends with the transcript of a radio is at 524-5050. The call is $2.95 for the batty but is in fact truly psychic. Fi- mately lacks anything like a clear motive. But interview Professor Hawking did for the BBC's nally, there is Roz, founding editor of that's okay, because in the tradition from which longest-running radio show (aversion of which first minute, $.99 each additional minute. a women's' magazine called she comes, that of the wicked stepmother, the is featured in Pulse magazine), Desert Island Get your parents' permission before you Wise Worn an Wo rid, whose brash hu- bad fairy godmother and Lady Macbeth, that Discs, in which celebrities are asked which al- mor keeps her sadness at bay. sort of thing is permissible. call. Those last two lines were a joke. bums and possessions they would take if they Looming over these three women is Zenia, This is a marvellously rich novel, very read- were stranded on a desert island. who drives the novel. She is a creation of tower- able and entertaining. It is not to be missed. This interview covers some of the same This country's got dino-fever, I tell you. ing, relentless evil who worms her way into the — K.K. ground as the first essays, but it is one of the lives of all three women by playing on their book's highlights. It shows once again the hu- Why else would the River Oaks Theatre, hopes, fears and weaknesses. Once there, she BLACK HOLES AND BABY UNIVERSES man side of Hawking. By the way, two of the 2009 W. Gray, be showing Camosaur, a takes, or tries to take, husbands, boyfriends and STEPHEN HAWKING albums Hawking would take are Mozart's Re- careers. Elusive and dangerous, she slips in and quiem and The Beatles' Please Please Me. movie starring Laura Dern's mama Diane out of identities as easily as changing clothes. Stephen Hawking's first book,/I Brief History Overall, I enjoyed reading the book. Unless Ladd, Dec. 3 and 4? Also showing is As the novel opens, the three friends are of Time, made astrophysics accessible even to you're a Hawking groupie I probably wouldn't Macross II: Lovers Again. Both are a having lunch at a restaurant called the Toxique. non-physics majors. In Hawking's latest collec- recommend going out and spending the $22 to They are convinced that Zenia is dead; in fact, tion, Black Holes and Baby Universes, the first set get the hardcover. However, it can't hurt to ask partofthe Midnight Film Series, and you they attended her funeral five years previously. of essays is almost completely devoid of science. for it for a holiday gift—it'll be worth your time. can get yours at 524-2175. Camosaur But then she walks in, very much alive — and Instead, Hawking writes of his childhood, his — D.G. is also showing Dec. 10 and 11. T001SIE, GOODBYE Want to have the lameness of your Christmas lights rubbed in? Then join the Season of Lights Tour, which will 'Mrs. Doubtfire' cooks, cleans and entertains "explore the most spectacularly lit neighborhoods of Houston." The thing BY KRISTIAN LIN brother Frank (Harvey Fierstein), Daniel dis- All bets have been safely hedged. guises himself as a 60-year-old British nanny Director Chris Columbus (who did the Home costs $20 for Orange Show Members Any movie that begins with Robin Williams named Euphegenia Doubtfire to be closer to his Alone films) does well enough in the comedy and $25 for non-members, which singing "Largo al factotum" from Rossini's The kids. scenes, but when the script turns serious the includes snacks and booze at one of the Barber of Seville deserves immediate and seri- Thegooey script by Randi Mayem Dixon and whole movie stops dead. That's too bad, because ous consideration. So begins Mrs. Doubtfire, a Leslie Singer is designed to appeal to both the the dead time allows you to reflect on the many houses on the tour (do we get to comedy that's at its best when it isn't trying to be politically-correct and the family values crowd. flaws in the script & serious. The film stresses the need for a loving father, Miranda really doesn't have a reason to stop choose?). Like you have anything better Daniel Hillard (Williams) is an actor whose while Miranda is presented as being too wrapped Daniel from seeing his kids. Her character is to do from 7-10:30 p.m. on Dec. 7 than flakiness and inability to hold a steady job drives up in her career as an interior decorator to have poorly conceived, and Field can't fill in the blanks his wife Miranda (Sally Field) to seek a divorce, time for her kids. But Daniel (like many of or even make her that likable. The kids are so ride around on a bus and drink other during which Daniel loses custody of his three Williams' other film roles) is the embodiment of squeaky clean to begin with, we can't imagine people's liquor. Info is at 926-6368. children. With the help of his make-up artist the sensitive man of the '90s. This is Hollywood. why they'd need a better home. But it's all worth sitting through to see Robin You've seen her work on the cover of Williams as he experiments with different fe- Rolling Stone, now see It In a museum, ...MAKE MY MOVIE male looks, does a Barbra Streisand impression or dances with a vacuum cleaner. The makeup where it deserves to be. The Museum of and costume look good enough to fool a man's Fine Arts (or the MFA, as those of us in own wife and children, but it also has the added 'Perfect World' is less than advantage of immobilizing Williams' face, thus the know call it) is showing the exhibit curbing his melodramatic tendencies. Annie Leibovltz: Photographs 1970- BY KRISTIAN LIN Williams has found a pleasing, sweet voice 1990 from Dec. 19 to Jan. 30 (that's for Mrs. Doubtfire as well, which makes his Let's hope whoever said Hollywood mocks the importance of fathers is now choking down insults aimed at Miranda's new boyfriend Stu next year). Location is 1001 Bis sonnet large amounts of crow with the recent movies. Mrs. Doubtfire shows us a father adriftwithout (Pierce Brosnan) even funnier. It's Williams's and number is 639-7300. Hey, you'll see his kids, and A Perfect World gives us some children adrift without their fathers. t particular genius that he can deliver the most outrageousjokeswithoutcompletely shattering a picture of Whoopi in a tub of milk. Set in Texas in 1963, A Perfect World is about escaped convict Butch Haynes (Kevin Costner), who has taken a little boy named Phillip (T.J. Lowther) hostage. As law enforcement the Mrs. Doubtfire character. officials led by Sheriff Red Garnett (Clint Eastwood) pursue Butch through the Texas If there's something missing from his perfor- Three Coins in the fountain... Christophe backroads, Butch sees a kindred spirit in the fatherless boy who has been smothered by his mance, it's a sense of liberation. We don't see fanatically religious mother. The boy in turn finds someone to emulate, and Butch finds any hints that Daniel is happy about being able Coin is French, he's a cellist, he's himself trying to become a good father. to discipline his kids, to find out what Miranda acclaimed and he'll be performing The film's two-and-a-quarter-hour length is extended by the sleepy pace at which Eastwood really thinks of him, or even to insult Stu with for the Houston holiday-bound at directs the film. The pace isn't any slower here than it was in his last directorial impunity. Again, this is only partly Williams' effort, Unforgiven. But Unforgiven had a terse, sharp script by David Webb fault, as the script doesn't give a reason for the Menil Collection, 1515 Sul Peoples that gave the film a ruthless logic all its own. John Lee Hancock's Daniel's sudden settling down after his divorce. Ross, Jan. 4 at 8 p.m. You'll screenplay for this film is too sprawling to bear Eastwood's approach. The But it keeps his performance from reaching the result is something of a mess. same giddy heights that, say, Dustin Hoffman lose $16 in the deal, Costner occupies the center of this movie and gives one of his most effective reached in Tootsie. you'll be much happier performances. That's not saying much; he's still not a great actor, and no one You can't help but feel that by being a movie for it. 524-5050 is should ever mistake him for one. Paradoxically, that's one of the reasons why this star Williams has missed his calling. The open- performance works as well as it does. His canned charm plays well as his ing sequence of this film (where he sings opera) the number you character tries to win the boy's trust, and his stiffness lends credence to is a Chuck Jones-animated sequence for which want. Butch's unfamiliarity with the role of father. But Costner can't make us Williams, as Daniel, provides the voice of both a connect emotionally with his situation, and in view of the material he's been cute parrot and an evil cat Even if you haven't given, that's a real failure. seen Aladdin, this scene is proof enough that Fortunately, Eastwood has enough of a sense of humor to salvage some Williams should have been a cartoon voice. of the picture. He gets some laughs out of a chase involving a trailer, and from His dead-on vocal impressions, his talent for a scene that puts the boy behind the wheel of an out-of-control car. Most of the humor, though, incisive social and political commentary and his Bolcom? I don't even know 'im! That's comes from the jousting between Eastwood's world-weary, unsophisticated sheriff and Laura fiendishly productive imagination are best ser- William Bolcom, the composer of the Dern's green, intellectual criminologist who joins the manhunL viced by cartoons, which free his mind from the works that DaCamera is putting on Dec. She basically serves the same purpose Rene Russo served in In the IJne of Fire — to give laws of physics and the bounds of reality. a feminist contrast to the Eastwood persona. Onejustwishesthatan actressof her caliberwere In short, you shouldn't have any trouble fig- 14 at 8 p.m. at the Menil Collection, given mere to do. uring out what to watch when you're at this 1515 Sul Ross. You'll get yours for $16, Even i iO gh A Perfect World is an interesting ride at odd times, the climax of the picture movie. There's a disturbing amount of stuff that doesn't have as much resonance as Eastwood, Hancock and the cast seem to think it fias. could have been cut from this two-hour film, but so call up 524-5050. Eastwood gambles on being able to parlay Costner's weaknesses into strengths, but it only there are also more than enough big laughs to half succeeds. Costner was in the best position to make the film cohere, and the film doesn't. make you forget this film's faults. ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3. 1993 9

NO DINOSAURS? Yeah, OK, so finals are upon us and everyone is rattling off what Tiano' played superbly by Keitel, Hunter a friend of mine calls the "Rice List": that long, woeful account

BY ANN ABEL of everything they have to do between now and Dec. 15. Last weekend, five usually-boisterous Rice Maybe what we all need is a massive students went to the movies. They emerged and rode home in silence. A sudden attack of laryn- chiU. But since that's not possible, here's gitis? No. The Piano had left them speechless. what's happening around Rice to shake Director Jane Campbell deserves the top your blues away: prize that she won last May at the Cannes Film Festival for The Piano, a wildly beautiful and haunting love story set in the New Zealand bush in 1850. Wayne and Garth dismissed the film as Celebrate your survival a "chick movie," and a few others have written it 3 through the week with the off as gloom-doom snobbish art-house cinema F R Shepherd School Symphony They are wrong. Or are eroticism, sadomaso- chism and mutilation pretentious subjects? No, Orchestra. Tonight they perform The Piano is a raw, funny, sensual movie. Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring. The Holly Hunter's performance as Ada is breath- taking. Ada is a mail-order bride who can hear concert is free and starts at 8 p.m., but but cannot speak, and who has just arrived from get there early if you want a seat. Scotland. Her husband, Stewart (Sam Neill), is late picking her up, and she waits for him on the Hoh, hoh, hoh! Ze French are back! La beach with her possessions. Among them are her sole means of expression her-nine-year- Chienne (The Bitch) and Panlque are ze old illegitimate daughter, Flora (played excel- movies and ze place is ze Media Center. lently by Anna Piquin) and her piano. The juxta- Ze price is $4.25, and ze time is 7:30 position of the corseted Ada and her piano with waves crashing around them sets the scene for p.m. for La and 9:15 for Panique. Go, you the exotic, passionate story to come. Holly Hunter and Harvey Keitel star in The Piano. Listen — you can hear the sexual tension already. seelly fools. Stewart arrives and refuses to drag the piano to his home. Later he sells it to another Euro- punishes Ada in the most horrifying way imagin- can portray a believable, lustful human being as pean settler, Baines (Harvey Keitel). Ada is able. well as act with dinosaurs. Harvey Keitel also The Media Center fall season furious, but later strikes a deal with Baines: he'll With passionate direction and a haunting transcends his usual tough-guy role to bring wraps up on an uncon- barter the piano back — key by key — for story, The Piano also gains power through its tenderness and romance to Baines. lessons that have much less to do with music talented cast. Holly Hunter is spectacular, even The Piano is electrifying, but it is not without ventional note — which than with sex. with no lines, cute accent or wisecracks. Minus subtle flaws. Happily one forgets to wonder doesn't surprise any of us, does it? Their lessons grow more and more daring, her trademarks, her eyes become piercing mes- about the father of Ada's daughter or how they Don't miss the premiere of Boy's Shorts: and arouse Ada's carnal curiosity. The frustra- sengers of her emotions. Even more impressive ever carried the piano through the New Zealand tion she and her lover feel is tangible, and when are her fingertips — Hunter plays all of Ada's bush to Baines' house. Instead, audiences feel The New Queer Cinema tonight and their urges erupt, it is volcanic. When Stewart beautiful music herself. the sexual tension and are absorbed in the beau- tomorrow for the low low price of $5. discovers the affair, his obsession bccomes ap- Sam Neill makes a welcome departure from tiful music and haunting story. Words fall short. The movie consists of six short films parent In a moment of furious jealousy, he his Jurassic Park character and proves that he 7he Piano is a triumph. from the U.S., Canada, Australia and POLKA FOR LUNATICS? England, and topics . range from the "bad, bad" boys of the disco '70s to a man awaiting his AIDS blood-test results. CDs range from funny to downright disturbing At 7:30 and 9:30 p.m., tomorrow at 7:30 only. BY, JEREMY HART MOTHERHEAD BUG thing to do with cricket men fixing crushed ZAMBODIA pigeons. LOVE JONES "Zambodia" is a mournful, majestic dirge, And don'tforgetto partake in the holiday HERE'S TO THE LOSERS Some music out there these days is unset- sung by a person (?) longing to return to his tling. Sonic Youth and Cop Shoot Cop disturb home, the mythical land of Zambodia "Off With cheer at the Gillis open house, 3-5 p.m. What do you think of when somebody says me — the little twitch I get listening to their Their little Heads!" sounds like an insane rendi- today. "lounge act"? Old Tom Jones-style crooners music is part of the reason I like 'em. However, tion of The Nutcracker Suite" — complete with working Vegas? Crappy cover bands? 1 think as disturbing as a band gets, there's a distinction glockenspiel. this is the one time in my life I'll be able to use between "disturbing" music and downright Polka for lunatics. Wedding music played in And believe or not, that's about all, "lounge act" and mean a good thing. fucking scary music. Zambodia falls in the latter Hell. The score for an opera where everyone folks. Let a primal scream loose once or Love Jones is definitely a lounge act, com- category. dies before the first act is over. The music you twice, sip a stout at the Gingerman, plete with matching polyester suits (custom- This music would be a perfect soundtrack to normally only hear in your nightmares. Listen to a grotesquely-twisted fairy tale — one in which this album for the same reason you go see drive carefully and have a good break. the wolf rips Little Red Riding Hood to shreds horror movies — for the thrill of fear. before they even get to Grandma's, or Hansel and Gretel don't make it out of the candy house alive. This is a record to listen to'late, late at night, CD SAMPLER under a full moon, with a fire going, outside if you're brave enough. Read a little Edgar Allen Bon voyage Marc... LoveJones Poeorthe most violent Russian folktales you can dig up. This could have been the score to A Motherhead Bug Nightmare Before Christmas, if the movie had Our beloved assistant editor is off to New Zealand been at all scary. The whole thing has a very orchestral feel to next semester, which can only mean one thing... designed, no less), but it's one of the coolest, it, mostly because ringlcader/vocalist/trombonc craziest bands I've seen in a while. There are lots player/madman David Ouimet has assembled a of influences here, from ska to pop to salsa to the motley crewofmusiciansand instruments: bass, old doo-wop groups your folks might've heard a guitarist or two (though there's very little of. All these influences combine to make a guitar evident), cello, piano, oboe, violin, trum- Free kiwifruit for everybody when he returns!!! smooth, seductive sound. pets (trumpet player Jim Colarusso played with In the first part of the album, these five guys Elvis),gongs, accordions, saxophones and sev- make funk-soul harmony Fishbone would be eral percussionists. proud of on "Pineapple," an ode to the passion TTie drumming and rhythm is a dominant Actually, it means that applications are now being and vision of... Manuel Noriega?! element—nearly every song has at least a bit of They then jump to "Custom Van," a Beach intense, tribal pounding. In many spots, the accepted for the lucky person to fill his shoes. Boys-ish little ditty, and then to the heavily clicking percussion reminds me of bones knock- bluesy "Matter of Fact" ing together. It's a very spooky sound. Applicants should have experience in journalism " Fragile" is another slice of mellow fu nk, and As an ensemble, this demonic bunch plays the jazzy "Li'l Black Book" displays group har- music drawn from some strange sources. There — desktop publishing is a plus. Most importandy, monies Boyz II Men can only dream about. are hints of the Middle East, gypsies, Turkey, Honest. European classical music, and even the kodo "Ohio River" is a lazy harmonica jam about drummers of Japan. The result sounds quite applicants should be chock-full of the creativity friends partying on the water, and the Latin- sinister. tinged "I like Young Girls" has the greatest line The true brilliance of Zambodia lies not in the required to expand this section to its full-blown I thought I'd never hear in a song: "I like that music, but in the sick nightmares Ouimet weaves dress/I'd like to see it on the floor." with his lyrics. Each song tells a story, and while artistic and entertaining potential. The band's true personality really comes it's impossible to understand him at some points, through at live shows. The band-audience ban- the little bits I can catch through his snarling, ter is loads o' fun, and Ben Daughtrey has more threatening vocals make me wonder if I really energy than a city full of peoplewhen he plays want to know what he's talking about Stop by the Thresher office for an application., the congas. The subjects of these songs are truly bizarre. This band is one wacky bunch of guys who For example, "My Sweet Milstar" is a love song Assistant A&E Editor is a paying position, so call can play, sing and entertain without taking them- written for a nuclear missile; "Bleating Heart selves at all seriously. They'll make you laugh Incident" is about a woman who drowns her and smile. child (I think); and" Demon Erection" has some- 5274801 to talk to someone who knows the scoop. 10 FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1993 THE RICE THRESHER ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

It is still possible to get a high qualify PLAY IT AGAIN graduate degree at very low tuition rates over 67 fields of study at the master's and doctoral level Best albums of '93 as we pick 'em we're a comprehensive, teaching/research university BY BOOTH BABCOCK BY MARC HLRSH

The Graduate School Barkmarket—Gimmick (American). Barkmarket's Jellyfish — Spilt Milk (Charisma). "Spot-the influ- combination of seemingly unstructured songs and loud, ence" is the name of the game, but these guys steal from • • I UNIVERSITY OF edgy music isn't for everyone, but once one gets into the the Beatles, Queen, the Beach Boys and others so gleefully music, it is hard to get out. that it's impossible not to smile and damn hard not to laugh. UJ WYOMING The Boredoms — Pop Tatari (Reprise). The Bore- The best concept album in years. doms produce an unpredictable, random collection of Aimee Mann — Whatever (Imago). Wordplay so The Graduate School - PO Box 3108 noises that often fall somewhere outside the spectrum we inspired that each lyric sounds like it was meticulously University of Wyoming - Laramie. WY 82071 Americans like to call music. It's impossible to tell if this is craifted is placed atop stinging guitar pop and sung in a an homage to or a joke at the expense of rock music. voice that's half crying, half joking. Makes you wonder if Caspar Brotzmann Massakar — Koksofen (Home- we should have ignored Til Tuesday all those years. WYOMING - the best the West has to offer stead). Koksofen apparently means "blast furnace." I can Rosanne Cash — The Wheel (Columbia). There's a think of no more appropriate title for this exploration into sense of freedom in this, her first album after her divorce. what kinds of amazing noises can be wrung out of a guitar. Instead of asking why men and women hurt each other, Cop Shoot Cop —Ask Questions Later (Interscope). she's now looking at the world with a sense of wonder and IS GOD CALLING YOU TO THE Cop Shoot Cop has enough attitude for all of their native fear. Country music for those who hate country. Brooklyn. As the novelty of their two-bass, no-gu itar 1 ineu p Chris Isaak — San Francisco Days (Reprise). More CARMELITES? has faded, the band has used its third album to demon- proof that simple language is the most profound. strate a greater range of talent and the ability to write songs Suede—Suede (Nude/Columbia) .The band that was f/ MM* &U- OAA&bfcJ. tc-: that are extemely catchy, though still aggressive as hell. the Hype of the Year puts out the debut of the year by The Flaming Lips — Transmissions from the Satel- delivering on its promises. Bernard Butler's multilayered • Community • Prayer • Ministry lite Heart (WB). Possibly the catchiest bunch of songs guitar riffing almost takes attention away from Brett anyone should ever have to listen to. The Flaming Lips Anderson's tortured vocals and lyrics. Almost. merrily skronk along in the wandering, drug-addled man- That Petrol Emotion — Fireproof (Koogat import). ner we all know and love. Who else but a totally rabid fan would shell out $22 for an The Goats — Tricks of the Shade (Columbia). The import sight unseen? Here's who: anybody interested in a Goats are, next to Cypress Hill, the best dope-smoking hip- great post-punk noise guitar album. The best Petrols hop group around. One listen to Tricks of the Shade should album in years. Perhaps ever. CONTACT make you forget about Snoop and his, um, legal problems. Various Artists — Sweet Relief (Sony). On the FT. Thomas Jordan* 0. Carm. My Name — Wet Hills and Big Wheels (C/Z). My soundtrack to the year's Big Cause, every band that mat- Carmelite Western Vocation Office Name sadly lost much of its schizophrenic, genre-bending ters shows why 1994 will be the year of Victoria Wilson. 6725 Reed Road • Houston, Texas 77087 charm with this release, but what remains is finely honed Antenna — Hideout (Mammoth). The best thing the punk and funk-tinged rock. Also impressive are singer Abe Blake Babies ever did was break upand form Antenna. (713)649-7323 Brennan's frequently poetic lyrics. Distorted guitars fly everywhere, but they're grounded in NoMeansNo — Why Do They Call Me Mr. Happy? solid pop songs that would make Paul McCartney proud. (AlternativeTentacles) .Thegodsofprog-rock strike again. PJ Harvey — Rid of Me (Island). The mania of this This time everyone's favorite Canadian band gives anthemic band thrashing away is tempered by Polly Harvey's "quiet" HOUSTON stadium rock and lounge singing a try, but NoMeansNo solo moments. The crash-and-burn run-through of Dylan's S remains one of the tightest, most amazing bands around. "Highway 61 Revisited" would be a highlight for anybody YMPHONY Steel Pole Bathtub — The Miracle of Sound in else, but Harvey actually manages to best it in "Snake," CHRIMorH FM HI \LV\( 11 Motion (Boner). Noise, beautiful noise. SPB continues to "Ecstasy" and the title track. Not for the faint of heart. Musk DIRFCTOK refine the "wall of noise" sound with layers of distortion, Various Artists — D.I. Y.: UK Pop I and II (Rhino). samples and effects propelled through driving rythms. The elephant's graveyard: more than 40 songs, most by Tom Waits — The Black Rider (Island). The obscure bands, played the way pop music was meant to be soundtrack to an opera by William Burroughs with Robert played: short, sweet and beautiful. Proves that, although Wilson's sets. The Black Rider may be the gravel-voiccd they still like ABBA, the British have much more taste in WORLD- singer's most eclectic and disturbing release to date. choosing their pop music than Americans. CLASS MUSIC Take 3 Minutes, Save 3% FOR ONLY First, call your airline and make reservations. KLM: 800-374-7747 British Airways: 800-247-9297 $5! Delta: 448-3000 United: 800-241-6522 Northwest: 800-225-2525 American: 650-1116 lake advantage of the Houston TWA: 222-7273 Symphony Student Rush program. US Air: 800-428-4322 For only $5, with a student ID*, you Air France: 1-800-237-2747 can attend any of the Houston Continental: 821 -2100 's scheduled 1993-94 Lufthansa: 1-800-645-3880 >eason concerts. Japan: 800-525-3663 Southwest: 237-1221 Ultrair: 624-4500 It's easy! Just purchase your tickets at the Jones Hall Student Rush window thirty Then call TravelTrends and we'll give you 3% off with this coupon! minutes before the performance. - For We are a full servicc agency but wc also allow this special discount less than the average cost of a movie, for your assistance. enjoy the world-acclaimed Houston Last year, TravelTrends saved over $50,000 for Rice University, Symphony in the luxury of Jones Hall! Baylor and UT Medical Center. We are two blocks from the Rice Cai^pus.

* limit 1 ticket per student ID. Q ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY. DECEMBER 3. 1993 11

IF roc KW'T wr IT. GIT IT; MEMBER NETWORK ©l«J (WiVWOO* TWT (WAVY, HtflJEA Ft>l(

rtant to us." Women overcome 2nd-half After bowingoutofthe singleelimi- nation National Invitational tourna- ment, Wilson decided to schedule an Senior forward Torrey Andrews scores a lay-up against Nevada defenders. woes for victory over TSU exhibition game against Marathon Oil, an Oklahoma City-based basketball Torrey Andrews and Peakes led the With Andrews and Peakes com- losses to the Houston Flights and the club consisting of former collegiate Owls on a 31-7 run for the rest of the bining for 40 points. Rice was able to by John Fredland Rina Basketball Club, kept the pres- players. contest to capture the win, 79-67. hold off Nevada in the second half to sure on the Lady Tigers over the final The Owls jumped out to an early Wilson was disappointed with the capture their first regular-season The Rice women's basketball team 20 minutes, outscoring them 43-27. lead and built up a seven-point cush- team's play against Marathon Oil, in- vicory, 74-64. This win increased the overwhelmedTexasSouthern Univer- That's what we have been work- ion over their opponents. dicating lack of preparation was ap- Owls' home winning streak versus sity 83-56 last Saturday. ing on," McKinney said. "We are learn- At the end of the first half, they parent in their sluggish performance. nonconfercnce opponents to 11 Sophomore Tammy McCallum ing to play hard for 40 minutes. We were down 33-31, however. Rice's 38 This was a difficult game to play," games. scored 15 of her team-high 18 points have to be careful not to lose inten- percent from the field in the first half Wilson said. "Our guys didn't really "Without a question, this was a win in the first half, as the Owls built a 40- sity." could notcompare with Marathon Oil's understand the preparation they we needed," Wilson said. 29 halftime advantage. "On Saturday, we were able to 45 percent. needed for a game like tonight" "Number one, you have to win at Trailing 14-10 with 13:03 remain- maintain our intensity much better Marathon Oil led 49-47 with 10 On Nov. 28, the Owls opened their home. [Nevada] threw some wrinkles ing in the first half, Rice embarked on than before," she added. "It's not as minutes remaining when Marathon regular-season home schedule, enter- that we hadn't seen on film with a zone a 14-0 tear overthe next three minutes good as it can be, but it is getting Oiler guard Aaron Sutherland hit a taining the University of Nevada. defense to start, but it was something to take a 24-14 lead that the Lady better." three-pointer to ignite an 11-1 run. In the first half, the Owls capital- we thought they might use. I was Tigers never overcame. The Owls maintained a 50 percent With 8:32 left in the game, Rice ized on Nevada's 32-percent shooting pleased with how we made the adjust- Five Owls scored in double figures shooting percentage and held the Lady trailed 60-48. However, Rice forwards performance to take the lead, 33-22. ments." on the evening: center Brenda Tigers to 26.3 percent This enabled Unfortunately for the Owls, how- Conaway posted 16 points, forward them to offset Texas Southerns 5443 ever, their shooting woes continued Lacey Guinn and guard Jessica Garcia rebounding advantage, which in- from the free-throw line. each scored 11, and guard Marsha cluded a 31-12 advantage on the offen- Rice missed all of their shots in the Frese added 10. sive boards. RICE THRESHER first half and finished the game with Tammy was great in the first half," "We played pretty good initial de- 40 percent from the line. McKinney said. "We played a more fense," McKinney said. Texas South- "Our free-throw shooting has been balanced game in the second half. ern is not agood shooting team. Their very disappointing," Wilson said, "but With five players in double figures, we strength is on the offensive boards. we will keep working on it" had offensive balance. We also had Our initial defense was good, but our Rice will face the University of good play from off our bench." rebounding was not." Virgina in Charlottesville on Dec. 4. Kimberly Jeffery scored 20 points Rice lost to the Rina Basketball The Cavaliers, a top-20 team in all to lead the Lady Tigers. Tajuana Club, a touring club from lithuania, major collegiate basketball polls, arc Stewart had 13 and Sonja Shepherd 62-59 at Autry Court Nov. 21. members of the Atlantic Coast Con- added 11. With the Owls leading 38-21 early ATHLETICS ference, arguably the nation's most The Owls, who had been plagued in the second half, Rina went on a 36- potent conference. by second-half letdowns in exhibition 13 run to pull out the victoiy. Garcia paced the Owl effort with 11 points while Frcse added 10 off the bqnch and Conaway pulled down nine rebounds. Volleyball dusted by Houston in final match Rima Petronyte led Rina with 25 points, 21 coming in the second half. at least we played better," said fresh- "We're disappointed that we didn't will come true," Chen said. "It would Zieduna Cijucikiene scored 13 and by Tony Trail man Darcy Cruikshank, who replaced get aconference win, but we're close," be a tremendous lift [to win a SWC added nine rebounds and Jovina an injured Sammy Waldron as swing Chen said. "1 think that the most im- game] and a major shotofconfidence." Jutelye added 12 points. With only seven healthy players hitter. "We have tons of room for im- portant thing is that we're goi ng in the Although the Owls did not fare The Owls host the Harvey Suites on theroster, the Wee volleyball team, provement" right direction." well in conference play, the contribu- Rice Classic this weekend. It is the fell to the University of Houston Nov. Lilly Denoon paced the Cougars Three Rice seniors, setter Jessica tions and individual L-ilcnts of some first of two women's tournaments that 19 in the first round of the Southwest with 19 kills, 14 digs and six blocks. Williams, quick hitter Michelle Bird players did not escape the notice of Autry Court will host this season. Conference Tournament Ashley Mulkey added 16 kills and 10 and I-oewcnthal, ended their college SWC coaches. First up for Rice is Eastern Illinois The team performed better than it digs. career with this defeat. Waldron was selected as a mem- University, with tip off at 8 p.m. to- had in two previous meetings with the "We played very well and we "I thought this year was going to ber of the All-SWC first team. She is night Cougars, losing 15-6,15-10,9-15,15-5. fought, but we needed to fight ear- be a turnaround year," Williams said.' the first Rice player to earn this honor Kent University and the Univer- "We played our hearts out, but lier," said Waldron, who watched the "We need to rid ourselves of this idea since Tricia Bowen in 1990. sity OfTexas at San Anton io will play in they are just a very strong team," said match from the bench. "We just that everyone in the conference is Ijoewenthal was selected asa mem- the first game at6p.m.The champion- Coach Henry Chen. They just had needed to get focused earlier than the better than us; it's hard to cross over ber of the 1993 GTE/SWC Volleyball ship will be at 8 p.m. tomorrow. more options (on offense]." third game." that barrier." Academic Honor Team after being "1 don't know a lot about Eastern Swing hitter Rebecca Case led the The loss closed out a frustrating The Owls'3()-game conference los- named to the 1992 GTF Academic All- Illinois, so we must respect them," Owls with 12 kills, while quick hitter 13-18 campaign for the Owls, a record ing streak provides a major obstacle America squad. McKinney said. "Anytime you host a Terri Loewcnthal added seven kills that included strong non-conference to their resurgence in the SWC. "It just shows that people think tournament, you like to get into the and five blocks. efforts, but a miserable SWC show- "We have lofty goals [that] we have highly of u s despite our record," Chen championship game, but we must win "It was a disappointing match, but ing. set for ourselves, and we know they said. the first game to get there." SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3. 1993 13 Golf garners mixed results in fall finale by Fred Wen lowest score in the entire tournament Head Coach Jim Castaneda said, "The only returning veterans, The Rice golf team ended their fall Randolph and David Lawrence, have season respectably, finishingsixth out not played up to their potentials, but of 18 teams at last weekend's Rice we have every reason to believe they University/Columbia Lakes Invita- will snap out of their slumps and play tional held close to Houston in West well in the spring. Scott and Andersson Columbia. are our new players and have im- Freshman Drew Scott's strong pressed us very much." performance positioned the squad in David Lawrence said, "We're not second place overall after the second doing that great as a team, but we round, but the Owls dropped four haven't played too many Southwest places in the final round. Conference teams yet, so we don't The team finished with a score of know how well wel 1 do agai n st the m.". 918 strokes, one stroke behind the Since this tournament was the last fourth-place tie of the University of one of the seaso n and the N CAA ru les North Texas and Sam Houston State prohibit team practice over winter University, and three strokes behind break, the Rice golfers will go into third-place Texas Tech University. hibernation until thestart of the spring Team scores were tabulated by semester. taking the four best scores from the "Over the break well do some Running back Byron Coston fights off the Cougars for one of the Owls' many runs of the game. team's five players during each of the weight lifting, but I'm burned out so three rounds. I'll try not to hit any balls during the Baylor and Texas Tech were the winter," Lawrence said. Owls wrap up 6-5 season with win only Southwest Conference schools "We don't practice as a team until besides Rice competing. mid-January, so now we can fine-tune "I was going over some stuff with Bagwell field goals. Scott led going into the second our games," Scott said. "I'm just going By Jason Katz the defense, when 1 heard the roar of The Owls forced three more Hous- round, but he faltered to tie for medal- to work on each aspect of my game, the crowd and saw Lee run the other ton turnovers in the process, how- ist, the top individual position, with but not actually play in any tourna- The Rice football team capitalized way with the football," said Rice coach ever, to seal a 37-7 victory over their 220 strokes. He then lost a close play- ments." on eight University of Houston turn- Fred Goldsmith. "I knew then that cross-town rivals. off hole to Jamie Schmitt of Baylor. Despite the inconsistent fall sea- overs to win the Comercia Bayou we'd be right back in the game." Though the Owls did not meet all Junior Dan Andersson was the son, the team morale is still high. Bucket 37-7 Nov. 25 and capture their After Emanuel connected with of their goals for this season, failing to other Rice player to finish in the top "About 80 percent of the criteria to second consecutive winning season. Coston for a 31-yard touchdown re- reach a postseason bowl, Goldsmith 20, tying for 11th place with a score of get to the NCAA Nationals are how a With this win, Rice finished the ception, Rice took a 14-7 lead into the believes this squad has a lot to be 227. team does in the spring season tour- season with a 6-5 record and posted second quarter. proud of. Sophomores John and David naments," Scott said. "So if we have a their first back-to-back winning sea- The second quarter against Hous- "It was a good year for us," Gold- Lawrence and junior Trevor Randolph long way ahead, and if we can get hot, sons since 1960-61. They also won the ton was perhaps Rice's most effective smith said. "We had some goals at the also competed in the tournament we'll do fine." Bayou Bucket, the prize awarded to quarter of play all season. The Owls beginning of the year that we didn't "I just didn't make the putts that I This team has as much talent as. the winner of this annual grudge capitalized on one interception and meet but, at the same time, we accom- needed to, and he ISchmittJ made any other team I've coached," so if we match, for the first time since 1986. one fumble recovery to add 14 more plished a lot I'm pleased that wc are some incredible short shots on the play to our potential, we can play with After Houston's first offensive se- points to their lead over the Cougars. only one of three teams in this confer- green," Scott said. any other team," Castaneda said. ries, it seemed that this year would be With the second half winding down, ence with a win ning records. Our back- Scott shot a tournament best of 69 The Owls' next tournament will no different The Cougars marched Bennett intercepted yet another to-back winning seasons show some- during the second round. His score take place Feb. 10-12 in Monterrey, down the field for 72 yards and capped Jimmy Klingler pass and returned the thing for the stability of the program." was three strokes less than the next Mexico. off the drive with a 14-yard run from ball 36 yards to the Houston 29. running back TiAndre Sanders. Placekicker Johnny Bagwell's 47-yard "Everyone on the defense thought field goal attempt with two seconds we were pretty flat in the first series," remaining fell short, however. said Rice safety Nathan Bennett. "We The second half began exactly as missed a few key tackles that gave the first half ended. them some bigyards. We feltlike if we After receiving the opening kick- just settled down, we'd have no prob- off, Klingler was sackcd on first down lem." at his own 43-yard line and fumbled The Owls did settle down and an- the ball. Rice linebacker Larry Izzo swered with a well-constructed 76- recovered the loose ball and gave the IF YD" ton"T CrOT IT, yard scoring drive of their own. Owl offense another opportunity to frlT IT." On their first play from scrimmage, add to their lead. Rice wide receiver Jimmy Lee broke With sophomore quarterbackjosh through a confused Houston defense LaRocca at the helm of the offense, PRESENTS on a reverse play. Lee raced down the replacing a slightly-injured Emanuel, field for 50 yards before being tackled the Owls were only able to move the at the Houston 26-yard line. ball two yards. That was enough for A PREVIEW • Five plays later, quarterback Bert Bagwell, however, who hit a 44-yard Emanuel connected with running back field goal. Byron Coston for a 19-yard touch- Rice was only able to accumulate SCREENING down reception. six more points in the contest, all from OF A Now Open in the Village Arcade... NEW MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

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Extra Scoop ~! THE DISCOVER* CARD COLLEGE PREVIEW SERIFS DATE: December 6, 1993 I FREE! | COLUMBIA I with any purchase of i PICTURES T TIME: 7:30 pm LOCATION: Rice Media Center |F rof MV'T WT IT, 2517 Amherst ice cream or yogurt frlT IT." in the Village Arcade ' Umft one coupon per purchase. ' Pltasr Arrive Early- I'int Come, hint Smeil. 524-8857 | Expires 12/17/93 | Sponsored by the Rice Program Counci 14 FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3. 1993 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS Rice swimmers split dual meet with Miami backstroke. event HeadtoheaD by Eric Rutherford Senior Kurt Wagner described the At the start of the last leg of the meet as the best performance by the relay, the Owls were a body length The Rice women's swim team de- men he has seen since he has been at and a half ahead of Miami. feated a talented University of Miami Rice. The last Miami swimmer, a Hun- team Nov. 19, while the Rice men's The Rice men stayed in the meet garian Olympic team member, eroded team came up six points short of vic- by winning a few events and dominat- the Rice lead by the end of the first 50 tory. ing the second- and third-place fin- meters to secure the Hurricanes' vic- The Rice women took the dual ishes. tory. meet in their first home competition The Owls recorded three first- Rice's junior Ryan Gravelle, fresh- of the season by a score of 113-75, place finishes, nine second-place fin- men Alex Fuller and Stephen while the Rice men lost, 105-99. ishes and five third-place finishes in Edmonds also turned in strong per- A trio of freshmen, Ginny Farmer, the 11 events. formances, according to Wingenroth. Cori Miller and Annie Luikens, led the After maintaining a small lead for First-place finishes included the Rice women, according to Coach Kris mostofthe meet, the men were locked 400 medley relay, Fuller in the 400 Wingenroth. in a tie after the 500 freestyle. individual medley and Gravelle in the Farmer's time in the 400-meter in- The Owls trailed the Hurricanes 100 freestyle. dividual medley earned her a NCAA by a single point after the 200 breast- The Owls are hoping to carry their consideration cut, a step toward quali- stroke. success over into the next semester. fying for the NCAA finals. Sophomore Christer Mjaset and "We have a lot of good training Ho, Ho, Ho! Have a happy Head-to-Head holiday! Farmer is only the second Rice freshman Jon Armstrong placed sec- time left," Wingenroth said. woman to earn this distinction. ond and third respectively in that "The fact that we are swimming Miller placed first in the 500 event well now is a good omen for the end of Randy Block y s. Ken Stanley freestyle, setting a pool record in that The meet came down to the 400 the year." event She also won the 1000 freestyle freestyle relay. The Owls plan to take a two-week and 200 freestyle. The Rice A team, consisting of Christmas break and to return for a Orange Bowl Other first place finishes included freshman Justin Wong, Wagner, week of practice before they partici- Fanner in the 100 freestyle and sopho- sophomore Brant Hasebe and pate in the University of California Florida State vs. Nebraska more Anjali Upadhyaya in the 200 Armstrong, led through most of the Irvine Invitational in Ix>s Angeles. Fact; If it's Anybody versus The Huskers claim that they Nebraska in a Bowl game, have been underrated. After Anybody will win. The Block all, they did beat Texas Tech, TJV Lock *says Florida State is the SWC's #2 team. Sorry going to be the national Husker faithful, you got your FAIRFAX champs, but West Virginia chance to run with the horses, gets my vote if they win in the but you're riding Shetland Po- Sugar Bowl because they nies. Nebraska will plead "de- beat every good team they liver us!" while getting beaten were given a chance to play. 42-10. Fiesta Bowl Miami vs. Arizona Fact: Miami lost more games This is the first time in years this year than in the past 18 that Miami has lost twice in years combined. Arizona al- one season. Arizona has a bet- HEALTHY MALES WANTED AS SEMEN DONORS: most beat Miami last year so ter defense, better uniforms, Fairfax Cryobank needs healthy young men as semen donors: Excellent this should be a fun match- and more women. Enter this in up. It's part of my religion to your system, this will definitely compensation; Help Infertile Couples; Confidentiality Ensured; Ages not pick against Miami, so be a great game. Miami 18 to 35; Call 799-9937 I'll take them by eight. 23-21. Cotton Bowl Texas A&M vs. Notre Dame Fact: Notre Dame has played This could get scary quickly. in the Cotton Bowl for 36 The Irish beat FSU. The Aggies straight years. Technically, beat TCU. The Irish can pass. Oklahoma §hould be play- The Aggies can try. I hope ing in this game since they A&M will do the Southwest really won the Southwest Conference right, but they RAN Conference. But instead we won't. The Ags will look as B nrna geta match-up from lastyear strong as a cotton swab in BANKS which the Irish will win again. losing 28-6. 1010 Banks • Houston, Texas 77006 • 713/526-4566 Rose Bowl Near Corner of Montrose and Banks-Across from Bell Park UCLA vs. Wisconsin Fact: These are the two best Wouldn't it be ironic if Wiscon- teams playing in the Rose sin loses Dec.6 in Japan and WELCOME RICE OWLS Bowl this year. Among the Ohio State (Head-to-Head Na- CO*fv£ rest of the teams, these guys tional Champs) went to the are lightweights. There is Rose Bowl instead. The Bad- something about UCLA that gers will be really excited to I like so tihey will win . You get there if they do, until the •CMLENCE ym cm Humcan bet your mom' s Christ- Bruins make, them smell the mas present on it. roses in a 34-14 sleeper. FEfmWNQ - Last Week: BRAIN BUSTER 3-2 1-4 SPORTS TRIVIA Overall: 38-H 35-14 Great Food • Domestic & Imported Beer 7 TV's • Darts • Pool • Foosball • PinbaJl for 21 and up SWF at Brown seeks meaningful relationship with tall, idealistic mysterious male. Must enjoy the arts. Reckluses and non-smokers preferred. Call 52Z4801Jf interested. Rice Students and Staff Special CD: The Rice Thresher is seeking an inn ova* 10% Discount (ve, tough-skinned manager-type to fill sports edi- on all Food >r position. Benefits include pay, free food am please present coupon A and proper ID luable journalism experience. Looks greaj/on when placing order resume. Apply today at the Thresher officer call w 52>4SQ1. •"••••Mi SWF at Hanszen seeks anal, athletic, attractive male. 5BI Should be outdoorsy. Knowing how to erg a plus but not necessary. Smokers need not apply. Call 5274801. SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1993 15 Avenging Oilers redeem themselves and season with Steeler victory lies didnt do was tar and feather the D surrendered three points all night time around the second quarter. Last made the Steelers respect the run- by Chris Rodgers Steelers' head coach Bill Cower. It's At times during the game, it ap- I heard, the stadium crew was still ning part of the Oilers' 0. This opened my guess that Oilers' defensive coor- peared that Houston's defensive line trying to scrape 0'Donnell's jersey off upthepassinggamefor Houstonquar- Don't be surprised or scared if you dinator Buddy Ryan decided that com- was spending more time in the of the Dome's AstroTurf. terback Warren Moon. Moon over- see a couple of large fellas wearing pletely humiliating Pittsburgh's of- Steeler's backfield than the Pittsburgh All of the credit for last Sunday's came his Pittsburgh hex to pass for yellow and black running home with fense was enough orneriness for one running backs. Pittsburgh's starting bashing of Pittsburgh shouldn't go to 295 yards, including a picture-perfect their tails between their legs. It's only night the defense. Houston's offense 66-yard touchdown bomb to receiver the Steelers heading back to Pitts- Finally, Buddy Ryan's famed 46 churned out 391 total yards against a Haywood Jeffires. If such trends con- burgh after getting their butts whipped defensive scheifie is starting to pay "Mr Rodgers would like to Steelers' defense which was ranked tinue, the Oilers' coaches might de- by the Oilers in front of a very appre- big dividends for the Houston Oilers, first in the NFL cide to rest White's injured hamstring ciative and raucous capacity crowd at and there's a heckuva lot to like about know ifyou sports Jans The Oilers' running back Gary until the offseason. the Astrodome. the results. Brown was stellar once again in his Maybe the Oilers have finally fig- Houston (74) extended its cur- It's the type of defense that forces third NFL start. Lorenzo White's un- ured out the magical championship rent winning streak to six and took the Oilers' opponents to react rather can spell V-I-N-D-I-GA-T- derstudy scampered for 79 yards and formula that has eluded them for so over sole possession of first place in than to attack. The system stresses one touchdown on 19 carries. Brown long: Good "D" + Good "0" = "W's". the AFC's Central Division after physical play and the creation of turn- I-O-NT might not have busted the century Only time and more football games overs. k mark, but he did manage to "coax" will truly tell. It may take players a while to learn more rushing yardage out of Pitts- But right now you couldn't wipe all of the nuances of the complex as- quarterback Neil O'Donnell was burgh than any other running back the smile off of my face with steel wool HIT& signments and formations of the de- sacked four times and was eventually this year. Houston struck a gusher in 'cause the mighty Steelers went home fense, butwhen everythingdoescome taken out with a bruised shoulder. Brown: he hits like an ox and runs like in second with bruised egos, battered together the 46 is any NFL offense's Not wanting to show favoritism for a scared jack rabbit appendages and busted hopes of beat- fXLW worst nightmare. Ryan's defense has one guest over another, the Oilers' Brown's bruising running style ing the Oilers. a nasty habit of pounding quarter- defense politely sacked his backup backs and taking control of contests— Mike Tomczak twice so he wouldn't trouncing their arch (and ugly) rivals, just ask the Steelers. feel left out of all the fun. 23-3. The Oilers served loud notice Houston's defense gave up 234 to- The official scorer for the game 13th YEAR! that they are back, dominating on both tal yards, created four turnovers and probably lost countof how many times sides of the football and in almost generated six quarterback sacks. the Steelers quarterbacks were every other aspect of the game. More importantly, the Oilers' stingy knocked down, hurried and hit some- Not bad for a team that started 14 and had angry fans clamoring for heads to roll and coaches' blood to spill. Not shabby for a club that's found more ways to choke than an actor in a Red Cross instructional video. Mr. Rodgers would like to know if you sports fans can spell "V-I-N-D-I-C- A-T-I-O-N"? Good, I knew that you could. I haven't had a feeling this sat- isfying since the Dallas Cowboys avenged the Oilers by steamrolling SOUTH PADRE ISLAND the Buffalo Bills in last year's Super CttCSEC/fE Bowl. 5092 Richmond /ve. I would like to say that I predicted DAYTONA BEACH Pittsburgh's impending doom at the (Between 610 & Sage) hands of the surging Oilers, but even e Houston, TX 77C86 'Of t/i I wasn't prepared for the inten sity and <£ C PANAMA CITY BEACH desire which Houston displayed last fi/tc Sunday night The game's final score (713)621-2888 y> seems to indicate that the Steelers SKI STEAMBOAT were caught off-guard as well. Truth be told, Pittsburgh picked a really Our Homestyle Chinese Food lousy time to underestimate a team is prepared in minutes that they used as a divisional punch- RESERVATIONS AVAILABLE NOW ing-bag last year. and served half self service...no tips! CALL TOLL FREE FOR FULL This was an Oilers team that played to win. Rather than allowing the Enjoy 40 entrees under $5.95 DETAILS AND COLOR BROCHURE! Steelers' number-one ranked defense toteeoffon therun-and-shootoffense, at our new location only Houston took the initiative and used red-hotrunning back Gary Brown and six miles from Rice. 1*800*SUNCHASE a resurgent passing attack to ram the football down Pittsburgh's throat. It Free soft drink with Rice ID! was a pleasant surprise to see the Boys in Blue kick some ass, crack Expires 12/31/93 some skulls and play smash-mouth football John Madden-style on both offense and defense. I sincerely hope that folks around the country who watched the game on ESPN don't judge Texas hospitality according to the severe beating that the Houston Oilers administered to the visiting Pittsburgh club. Aboutthe only thing the Columbian Blue Bui- COME TO THE HOLIDAY BAZAAR!*. Intramural ( % ('% % ( % Announcements ( Entry deadlines for the first FRI., DEC. 3 >-9-5:30PM Friday of the spring semester include men's and co-ed volleyball, co-ed wallyball, and (STUDENT CENTER GRAND HALL! women's basketball. Entry forms, eligibility forms and rule sheets are available in the OPEN TO ALL!! DO ALL YOUR Intramural office in the gym.

Playoff tournaments are now in HOLIDAY SHOPPING RIGHT ON session for. men's college football, women's college volleyball, men's intramural CAMPUS THIS YEAR!! soccer, women's college soccer and co-ed basketball. Some treasures that may be discovered at the bazaar:

Holiday cards, angel sculptures, ironwood sculptures, note cards, brass & copper bracelets, jewelry, key chains, ceramics, needlepoint, crochet subliminal subliminal apply ^ doilies, bookmarks, food, business card holders, terra cotta vases, paper mache fruit, anklets with amethyst, amber, turquoise, crosses, flowers, subliminal to be subliminal earrings, stocking stuffers, jewelry, purses, pendants, leather fanny packs, clothing, bows, accessories, vests, jackets, sachets, covered books, dolls,' subliminal subliminal the painted rocks, decorated wooden plaques, puzzles, hand painted wearable art, etched glass, potpourri items, hand cast paper, novelty western subliminal sports subliminal invitations. Holiday wreaths & decorations, clocks made from computer hard drives, wooden key chains made on site, jewelry, wooden shelves, subliminal editor subliminal carousel horses, center pieces, Holiday wreaths, candles, educational toys, porcelain and ceramic drama masks, hand carved wooden ducks, sun subliminal sublimnal today! catchers, porcelain & lace pins, kaleidoscopes, jewelry. 9 S THE STUDENT CENTER \\ L. \\ ( ~*\\ v.^—^ """ a Hem laoJzi 16 FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1993 THE RICE THRESHER BACKPAGE On Tuesdays and Thursdays he'd post-charette misclass do three for two. CaLEm icei Ever wonder what happens to your archi friends whilst you stuff your gullet with He hadn't employment, but bore a the folks on Thanksgiving day and spend a relaxing weekend at home? The small card that gave "Buttler" as Friday, • LAST DAY OF CLASSES ! GO architecture school has a word for it—"charette. "This is a special festive time when title, and "Like to work hard." Dec. 3 YE, THEREFORE, AND ALTER sleep, family and friends are all sacrificed to further the cause of architecture. YOURSELVES! Overworked, undersexed minds running on no sleep are far from dead, however. His own country's government, Here is a short collection of eloquent stories and quotes dedicated to Thanksgiving acting on greed, sought tax on his • Holiday Bazaar! Do all your gift Weekend at Anderson 1993. profit to screw him indeed. shopping at the Student Center this yeart Over 30 vendors! 9- Q: Why doesn't Santa have any The following is printed out of the When they reamed the old fellow he 5:50 p.m. Grand Hall % kids? fragile belief that perhaps someone, reamed them right back so they bent over backward to cut him some A: Because he only comes once a somewhere will be doubled over in • Hanszen TG 4-6 p.m. slack. year, and even then it's down the laughter from reading it. I seriously chimney. doubt it. • Wiess College Night Blowiman's comforting set them at ease, especially one who contracted Overheard in the ranks of the ABC Top Ten New Shows on M! • disease. Brown Film Sports production crew of the Rice- (Mathematics Channel): • Houston football game: Lovett Rap Jam III: Return of 10.0 Welcome Back Cauchy His guests paid their homage, and the Boom Bap. 10 p.m.-2 a.m. "Yeah, we've got Rice-Houston here. 9.0 Sigma Field of Dreams Spewh moved to follow. But a corpse? Spewh despaired. It was too It's a bunch of pre-med students 8.0 Quantile Function Leap • hard to swallow. Starting Wednesday Finals Frenzy! at the Student against some guys out on parole." 7.0 LA Law [X] Dec. 8,9,10,12 Center! The Student Center 6.0 Lagrange and Shirley Much thanks to a prolific and will be open until 3 a.m. on From the male cheerleader who 5.0 Late Night With Lebesgue these days and will be giving dumped a female cheerleader from 4.0 ABC's Monday Night Unit Ball talented contributor. Your reputation out free coffee and great his shoulders during a Rice 3.0 Beavis and Borel is still intact, snacks at 11 p.m. and 1 a.m.! basketball game: 2.0 Hilbert's Place Try out a new study spot! 1.0 Banach, 90210 Bumper sticker: "It's all her fault" "Do as the animals do: let all yopur children be born — eat the ones you Sir Blowiman Spewh by W.M. don't want CLASSIFIEDS Below is the story of someone I From the Stalls of Valhalla: knew, an elderly gentleman, Sir expandable dining table & 6 upholstered Ley Student Center, any day from 9 a.m.- Blowiman Spewh. HELP WANTED chairs (very good condition); 2 desks, 1 2:30 p.m. Said the elephant to the man taling a walnut-stained bookcase, and a Philippine piss on the Serengeti Plain, "How do Just speak the man's name and wicker love seat. Call 529-5111. LOST: 1994 Rice class ring and engage- you breathe through that thing?" NEED CHRISTMAS CASH? Help that's what he would do. graduate student author mail queries to ment ring in Baker commons women's potential publishers during Dec. or vaca- LADIES' DIAMOND RING styled in rcstroomon Monday,November22. Great tion. Must be computer literate & know owl's head. The brow is diamonds with 2 sentimental value. S250 REWARD. Call how to merge documents in Word Perfect large colored diamonds for the eyes. Ap- Jennifer 667-1319. for Windows. Laser printer access encour- praised value: $4000. Will take best offer. Earn $10 to $17 an hour aged. S4.25/hr. Call Rill at 785-8205. Call 949-1550. BACH VESPERS. 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Art & Art History Slide Library needs COMING HOME FORCHRISTMAS. dedicated wo rk-study student for 4- 8 hours MD. Rice grad (just out of residency) IF YOU'RE INTERESTED in taking FLEXIBLE HOURS: 8-15 hours/week in the evening per week for Spring semester. Ixarn about looking for 6 month housing close to informationabout Rice to your high school and on weekends. art history and get paid while you do. Call university, avail, weekafter Christmas. Start- over winter break see your SAC college EXCELLENT PAY: Instructor pay from $10 to $17 an hour. x4836 or come by 421 Scwall before the ing practice in the area. Leave message contact or call the SAC office at ext. 2873 723-5746. *¥• RAPID merit-based evaluation break to interview. to reserve a packet. and raises. ... What We Need. BACKGROUND: Must be a toD scorer on the SAT, PART-TIME JOB in exchange for a nice, HOUSE SITTER Professional, reliable, THE RICE PROGRAM COUNCIL COMPLETE (and paid) training. LSAT, GMAT, GRE, or MCAT. furnished, utilities paid, one person apart- mature woman. Houstonian. Non-smoker. would like to wish you a holiday season full References supplied. 467-0804. of joy and cheer. PERSONALITY: You must be dynamic and outgoing ment; oversee three boys, ages 3 to 11, — personable and inspiring. after school from 3 to 6 p.m. Walking distance to Rice. Start early January. Tom BEST DEAL FOR STUDENT CARS. SEEKING STUDENT PAPERS/RE- mt- RELIABILITY: We need you to be available for at Taylor, 522-2064. Come by our garage for all mechanical, SEARCH on the environment for presen- least 12 months. electrical & body work on your automo- tation in early Feb. at the Rice Student PERSON NEEDED TO LIVE in nice bile. Free estimates available. We buy and Conference on Society and the Environ- River Oaks garage apt. Free rent for approx. sell used cars. We arc located 11/2 miles ment. Make your term paper count for 25 hrs. of baby-sitting, errands, projects, from campus (S. Main at Rose dale). Come more than a grade. Call Keith Rozendal at We have several different pet care. Caravailable. Non-smoking. Ref- by or call Foreign Car Specialists. 524- 523-7649. Papers arc needed by the end of locations and course schedules erences. Must be available part of Sat. and 7575. finals week. in the Greater Houston area. PRINCETON after 4:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri. Course training is starting soon. REVIEW THE FIRST EVER PROFESSIONAL If you want a shot at the best We Score More! CHILD-CARE PROVIDER In our NOTES AND DISC GOLF ASSOCIATION (PDGA) part-time job anywhere, call us home (Rice area). Take care of 17-month- sanctioned disc golf tournaments will be old 10-30 hrs./wk. Begin January. Expe- NOTICES held on Sat., Dec. 4 at Community Park in rience desired, but not necessary. Refer- Missouri City and on Sun., Dec. 5 at Tom Call 688-5500. ences required. $5/hr. Contact: Daniel FINALS FRENZY returns Wed.-Thurs., Bass Regional Park, Section One. Both The College Board, ETS. LSAC, GMAC. AAMC and Princeton U. are not affiliated with The Princeton Review Kleinman. 283-3435. Dec. 8-9,9 p.m. both nights in the Kyle events tee-off at 9 a.m. each day and fea- Morrow Room, third floor, Fondren. ture canine and freestyle demonstrations at CRUISE SHIP JOBS! Students needed! Doughnuts and coffec till they're gone, 3 p.m. followed by the final 6 holes of This week at Earn $2000+ monthly. Summer/holidays/ courtesy of Lutheran Campus Ministry at competition by the top 4 finishers at 3:30 full-time. World travel. Caribbean, Ha- Christ the King Church. p.m. Various divisions — field limited to waii, Europe, Mexico. Tour Guides, Gift 90 players per day. Play disc golf — the Shop Sales, Deck Hands, Casino Workers, '93 CAMLPANILES can be picked up at sport of the future! Willy 'sj etc. No experience necessary. Call (602) the Student Organization Office, 2nd floor 680-4647. ext. CI47.

SPRING BREAK! Sunchase Tours is seeking ambitious sales reps to promote Spring Break '94! Earn cash and free trips. Call today: 1-800-SUNCHASE. FOR SALE/RENT

MOVED FROM COUNTRY house to city apartment — furniture and appliances to spare. For sale: 2-yr.-old Kenmore pitchers washer/dryer and refrigerator (excellent condition all); good, solid Scandinavian 6811 Kirby at Holcombe 666-4047 Open every day lunch through dinner

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY A 11589 Wilcrest Dr. ALASKA SUMMER ^From $39- you can rent a tuxedo EMPLOYMENT FISHERIES - Students Needed! Many • Perry Ellis • Nicole Miller • Chaps • earn $2,000+/mo. in canneries or $3,000-$6,000 + /mo. on fishing Rafi inati • Christian Dior • Ralph Lauren • vessels. Many employers provide room tc board and transportation. uj o < GRAND OPENING SPECIAL! cai Over 8,000 openings! No experience uj eu necessary 1 Male or Female. Get the • Party Gown Rental from $4502 necessary head start on next summer. • Prom Rental from $4921 For more information call: • Bridesmaid Rental from $5921 END • OF • YEAR 1-206-545-4155 ext.A5849 Inventory Reduction Student Employment Services 15% off for Rice Students