Law Weekly 2017, 2018, & 2019 ABA Law Student Division Best Newspaper Award-Winner A Look 3L Pet Pictures Part II...... 2 Inside: First-Generation Professionals Club Spotlight...... 3 Hot Bench Featuring Mandy...... 5

Wednesday, 18 September 2019 The Newspaper of the School of Law Since 1948 Volume 72, Number 4 Jeff Flake around north Speaks at Crowds Pleased grounds DOUBLE Rotunda thumbs up to Jas- mine Lee and SBA Room at Wine and for bringing the joy Michael Schmid ’21 that is Roots to the Production Editor Law School twice a week. There’s “Assume the best, look Cheese Event still not enough 1Ls secretly for the good.” That was the hiding in the corners of the phrase written on a three-by- library to satisfy ANG’s di- five notecard and hung on the etary needs. fridge in the childhood home of retired Arizona Senator Thumbs down Jeff Flake. It was a mantra to hosting Bar Re- the former senator, who be- view at Skybar and gan his career in Washington Draft Taphouse. as a congressman, said that Stop trying to make any- his mother lived by. And it is where but Boylan, Crozet a mantra that he says he has and Bilt happen, Gretchen— carried with him throughout it’s not going to happen. his life and his career. Sena- tor Flake believes that such an Thumbs up to outlook is lacking in Washing- the Law School ton and is symptomatic of the for stepping into broader issue of incivility in the 20th cen- public discourse. tury with their newfangled Senator Flake was invited whiteboards. ANG’s been to speak this past Friday at breathing chalk dust since the Rotunda Dome Room on ANG was a wee munchkin, Main Grounds for the Joseph but ANG can appreciate new Smith Lecture on Religious technologies. Liberty sponsored by the De- Students stand in classy circles at VLW’s wine and cheese night. Photo Credit Kolleen Gladden ’21. partment of Religious Studies. Thumbs down His lecture was titled “Search- Taylor Elicegui ’20 Trader Joe’s, wrangled the paper The evening was a success, to NGSL for shut- ing for the Better Angels of Features Editor cutter at the Copy Center to cre- filled with conversation, laughs, ting down ANG’s Our Nature,” referencing a Donna Faye Imadi ’22 ate the drinking tickets, did an and refreshments. And, in ac- secret 1L softball line from Abraham Lincoln’s Guest Writer emergency run to Harris Teeter cordance with new University tournament betting market. inaugural address in which for crackers, and came early to policy, VLW distributed drink What’s ANG supposed to do our sixteenth president called On Thursday, September 12, set up and left late to clean up tickets to students. This was my now—restart ANG’s 1L Fight for civility. Senator Flake won- Virginia Law Women (“VLW”) Caplin Pavilion.” Cheema, re- first event with drink tickets, Club? dered whether the country is held its annual Wine and Cheese flecting on the event, said she and I was skeptical at first. But as divided as it has been since Student/Faculty Cocktail Party. was “grateful that we were able I didn’t really notice a difference Thumbs up to the onset of the Civil War, The annual event, obviously fea- to put on an elegant and well-at- at all, other than the slight incon- Judge Moore keep- and he worries that at times turing wine and cheese, aims to tended event together and look- venience of having to keep track ing the Robert it appears that our nation has give both new and old students ing forward to the rest of this of the ticket. E. Lee statue up “sidelined our better angels alike a chance to get to know year’s VLW events.” Wolfrey said, “I think the event in Charlottesville. That is for good.” their professors outside of the Several faculty members came went well. It got pretty crowded ANG’s favorite spot to def- Kathleen Flake, a profes- classroom. Past VLW Presi- to this year’s event, including and it seemed as if people were ecate, and ANG would have sor of Mormon Studies at dents confirm the event is long- Dean Goluboff and Professors intermingling and meeting new to return to depositing its UVA and a distant relative of running—Wine and Cheese was Darryl Brown, George Cohen, professors.” Franny Skardon droppings on the doorsteps the invited speaker, provided already an established tradi- Kevin Cope, Cale Jaffe, Kevin ’22 enjoyed the distribution be- of unsuspecting judges if it introductory remarks before tion when Stephanie Bedard ’16 Kordana, Julia Mahoney, Dayna tween the male and female pro- were torn down. the senator was formally in- began in Fall 2013. Wine and Matthew, Nelson Camilo San- fessors. “It was impressive to see troduced by D.C. Circuit Court Cheese also functions as a fun chez-Leon, Fredrick Schauer, the number of male professors, Although ANG of Appeals Judge Thomas B. way to welcome new professors Crystal Shin, and Rip Verkerke. and nice to see the supportive knows many law Griffith ’85. Professor Flake and students to the UVA Law Wolfrey worked with Kate Du- community.” students have nev- introduced her second cousin community. Nikki Wolfrey ’21, vall to distribute the invitation The event encourages stu- er been to an actu- once removed as “the man in VLW’s Events Co-Chair, took to the entire faculty. She also dents to get to know their pro- al tailgate, thumbs down to the much-maligned middle,” the lead on organizing the event advertised the event on popular fessors and hopefully feel more calling backyard parties be- as the retired politician has at- with support from the rest of the listservs, chalked classrooms, comfortable in class, encourag- fore a football game a “tail- tracted enmity from both sides VLW Executive Board. and put up posters. ing participation by women and gate.” of the aisle at different times VLW President Manal Roughly 100 students filtered academic success. Wolfrey de- during his political career. Cheema ’20 said, “The Faculty- through the event at different scribed her goal for the event as Thumbs up to Senator Flake has rankled Student Wine and Cheese Night points in the evening. Most of “establishing relationships in the the University of conservatives at times who is one of the flagship events for the students were 1Ls, although Law School between primarily Virginia for suing perceive him as falling out of VLW. Nikki did a fantastic job a fair number of upperclassmen 1L female students and profes- ANG to collect ba- line; he has also drawn the ire organizing this event and work- came as well, probably lured by sors. This would ideally foster sic medical bills. After sell- of liberals when they believe ing with the VLW board, Student the wine and cheese. Lauren a stronger sense of community ing ANG’s house, ANG was he acts in contradiction to his Affairs, and facilities to put this Burns ’22 said, “I felt really wel- and belonging for female stu- able to find a cozy spot un- image as a bipartisan politi- on. It requires a great deal of at- comed as a 1L, and I had a great dents, reminding them that they der the bleachers and makes cian. Perhaps this was never tention to detail and planning time. The cheese was GREEE- are valued and respected mem- do every day trying to be more clearly on display than and the VLW Board worked ex- AT.” I have to disagree slightly, bers of this community.” Bedard ANG. during the contentious con- tremely hard to support her vi- because I learned from former also identified encouraging stu- firmation of Supreme Court sion.” When asked what prepa- VLW President Casey Trombley- dents to go to office hours as an Thumbs up to Justice Brett Kavanaugh, ration was required for the event, Shapiro Jonas ’17 that baked brie additional goal of the event. If the Trump Admin- when Senator Flake managed Cheema told the Law Weekly, used to be prominently featured students know their professors istration for ban- to incur animosity from both “Among other endeavors, VLW at Wine and Cheese. Although personally, it can make it easier ning mango juuls. groups at various stages of the board members took the UVA the event would benefit from to seek help to clear up any po- ANG likes ANG’s nicotine confirmation process. Alcohol Risk Management train- bringing back the traditional tential confusions. like ANG likes ANG’s vodka. The former senator noted ing in advance to serve attend- baked brie (really, what event The event also provided stu- On the rocks with the tears that he received a flurry of an- ees, picked up decorations and wouldn’t?), the conversations dents with an opportunity to of law students (gotta get food from Wegman’s, selected FLAKE page 5 and laughter made up for the that protein somehow). an assortment of wines from lack of baked cheese delicacies. VLW page 3 2 Columns VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 18 September 2019 Hoos Pets Are These Too? Last week, I began my deep- contemplating getting a dog to stay out late knowing you have dive investigation into why go to SPCA, because they have a little critter waiting for you to my peers generally seemed so a lot of wonderful dogs in need come back. Eleanor had some of good homes. advice for anyone contemplat- Taylor Elicegui ‘20 ing getting a pet soon: “Don’t Features Editor Lydia Parker and Harvey get a big dog if you’re going to Lydia got her puppy, Har- live in a tiny apartment in a big happy and found vey, on August 16. Lydia want- city. If you do/already have, the reason: Pets. ed a dog for a long time, and become a morning person and There were so “figured 3L was a good time a runner to give them some ex- Stevie wonders why nobody will throw the ball for him. many wonder- to raise a puppy because my ercise. But really, just get a cool ful furry friends to be profiled schedule isn’t too demanding.” cat––they sleep a lot and don’t that the article had to be split Puppies like Harvey require a require half the attention, but into two parts. This week, I got lot of time and training, since are perfect company at the end to put the finishing touches on his current favorite activities of a long day.” this article while my new kit- include biting, gnawing, and ten, Lucy, ran around my room chewing. Since getting Harvey, Will Tucker and Maple like a crazed monster.1 I’ve Lydia has loved meeting new Will got his dog, Maple, be- had Lucy for a little less than people everywhere she goes. tween OGI and the start of fall a week, but I can now officially She said, “I love how Harvey classes last year. According to confirm my hypothesis was cor- brings so much joy to everyone Will, “I was lucky that the res- rect. My life is immeasurably around me.”3 As part of her new cue I got her from let me wait more fun with the addition of dog-mom lifestyle, Lydia has until between OGI and the start a three-pound little fluff ball. had to rearrange her schedule. of classes, because I could get I don’t even mind cleaning the She told me, “I can’t spend my her up to speed on Bluebook- cat-box. For anyone contem- days in the library and at the ing, basic FRCP principles, and plating joining the ranks of pet gym like I did 1L and 2L. This Westlaw terms and connectors ownership and who’s ready for is really good for me! Harvey before things got busy. She’s the financial and time commit- forces me to appreciate the been an ideal research assistant ment, read up for some advice present moment and connect ever since.” Will decided going from the experts and hit up the with my community instead into 2L was the ideal time to get CASPCA.2 of constantly working towards a dog. He had wanted one for my individualistic goals.” For a while and finally had enough Ellie Riegel and Stevie anyone contemplating getting a predictability as to his living Ellie Riegel got her puppy, puppy, Lydia said, “Make sure situation and schedule to add Stevie, on Thursday, Septem- it’s a well thought out decision. a four-legged roommate. Since ber 5. According to Ellie, “I had You have to be willing to sacri- getting Maple, Will’s favorite been hoping to get a dog for fice a lot of time, flexibility, and thing about her is “her unre- Draco Meow-foy does what he does best: sleeps. over a year, but when I met Ste- money in exchange for uncon- strained joy. Maple gives me a vie I knew I had to adopt him! ditional love. For me, it’s 100% reminder every day to appre- He has an adorable personal- worth it!” ciate simple things and not let ity and loves to play. We hit it this or that external stress get off the first day I went to look Eleanor Schmalzl and me down for too long. It’s one at dogs at the SPCA.” Since Maysie of the best parts of my life hav- getting Stevie, Ellie’s schedule Eleanor got her cat, May- ing an endlessly enthusiastic now revolves around him, but sie, during fall 2018. Maysie running buddy, morning meal she enjoys it. Ellie has to get was born in Eleanor’s aunt’s companion, and friend who up early with him, take him basement when a stray cat is (presumably) neuro/physi- for walks and trips to the park, came in through the window ologically incapable of talking and, of course, nap time. Ellie and had kittens. Eleanor’s fam- about law school. She makes particularly enjoys the puppy ily found homes for the kittens me happy every day, no matter cuddles and seeing Stevie hap- when they were old enough and what.” Maple likes making new py and comfortable in his new had received the appropriate friends, “be they canine, feline, home after having a tough start vet care. Eleanor loves “wak- human, bird, gopher, butterfly, to life. Stevie loves to play with ing up to her snuggles! She is so tree branch moving slightly in his toys, particularly his Kong, sweet at night and in the morn- the wind, or otherwise. Specifi- which Ellie fills with peanut ing and it is so nice to have a cally, she’s a big fan of climb- butter. Stevie also really likes purring kitten on your chest ing onto the back of the couch his bones, which he hides in the every morning.” Maysie likes to when you sit there and licking Lacrosse, a serious working man, doesn’t have time for your “pets” nonsense. couch cushions for safekeep- attack feet and play fetch with your ears and kinda generally ing. Ellie advises anyone who’s hair ties, which Eleanor ap- crawling onto your shoulders preciates as a good way to tire until she’s as close as possible 1 If you want to see pictures Maysie out. Eleanor said she to your face.” Will advised any- of her looking like a dragon or does feel bad about not being one thinking about getting a an adorable model kitten, hit home more, because it’s hard to pet to “consider all of the fac- me up. tors very seriously—it can be a 3 Lydia was kind enough to huge amount of work added to 2 They have a ton of cute let me play with Harvey as part your life. It’s especially impor- animals who just arrived from of my very serious pet investi- tant that you time things well. St. Croix. If you’re interested gation, and I can confirm he’s For example, if you know you in fostering or adopting, visit the cutest, fluffiest Golden Re- the CASPCA today! triever I’ve met in years.

Lucy! Strike a pose! Harvey may not have mastered ‘fetch’ yet, but he has this up-dog thing down. Wednesday, 18 September 2019 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Features 3 want to get a puppy, get her at a time when you’ll be able to be vigilant about housetrain- ing and be okay with losing a little sleep here and there (sorry Bev, thanks again, pal). And re- member that traveling with a pet can be VERY difficult! Plan ahead for that too. But so long as you’re taking the pragmatic side of things into account, do what will make you and your potential pet happy! Maple is excited to meet you both!” Brooke, we asked for a picture of your dog Lucy, not food. Lena Welch and Draco Lena got Draco in August, 2014, right before her senior year of college. Lena said, “I love cats. My friend’s mom is Maple is purely sweeter than syrup. a vet and was volunteering in a shelter when a cat had a lit- to see me when I get home. dog, during his sophomore ter. She took in the litter to They’re the best company for year of college about ten years find homes for the kittens. My late night reading, and they’re ago. Matt applied to a guide friend knew I was interested in the best listeners when it comes dog school in California. The getting a kitten, and so Draco to life chats.” Lucy likes to hide process was lengthy—it re- came into my life.” According her treats around the apart- quired interviews, mobility as- to Lena, cats are pretty easy to ment for later while Loki likes sessments, and assessments of Loki takes a low-key break from the stresses of cat life. take care of, but she definitely to sit in the window and creep Matt’s living environment. Af- has more scratches than before on people until he falls asleep. ter being accepted, Matt went she got Draco. Lena likes to Brooke advises those contem- to two weeks of training with snuggle with Draco and bump plating getting a pet to “be pre- Lacrosse. Matt’s favorite thing her forehead against his. Draco pared for planning your days about Lacrosse is the way he also likes to meow until Lena and life around them! They’re makes his life easier, because or her mom gives him treats. such blessings, but they’re also he’s a conscientious guide dog. Lena says that getting a pet has a lot of responsibility. I can’t When not working, Lacrosse reduced her stress, because she just stay gone all day or drop likes to sleep (as anyone who’s loves him. everything and leave town for ever been in class with Lacrosse the weekend. With that being can attest), chew on bones, and Brooke and Christopher said, I wouldn’t trade them for lounge in the sun. Matt thinks Swann and Lucy and Loki anything! Also, your new furry that Lacrosse particularly likes Brooke and Christopher, friend may be free to adopt, but law school, because class gives Brooke’s husband, have two vet visits are never free and nei- him plenty of time to sleep. pets, dog Lucy (a miniature ther is all of the gear you’ll need Matt advises those considering dachshund) and cat Loki, who to get before bringing them getting a pet to think carefully they got last year. Brooke’s fa- home.” about the responsibility and vorite thing about having pets time commitment—not all pets “is that no matter what happens Matt Simpson and La- get to take their owners to class. during the day, they’re always crosse ---- Maysie, likewise, takes a break from terrorizing toes to pose for the camera. going to love me and be happy Matt got Lacrosse, his guide [email protected]

VLW School and other peer institu- continued from page 1 tions have conducted studies on Club Spotlight: gender disparities in the class- meet their peers. Wolfrey noted, room. In 2018, UChicago found “I enjoyed getting to meet some that women were less likely to Virginia Law First- of the 1Ls that I haven’t had the voluntarily participate in class, opportunity to meet, and getting particularly at the beginning of Generation Professionals to see them enjoying an event the term.1 Women were also sig- A group of us founded Vir- ronment that may not seem portunities at Virginia Law. that is largely intended to wel- nificantly less likely to volunteer ginia Law First-Generation designed for them. Lastly, our mentorship come them to the Law School.” in a class session when the first Professionals (VLFGP) in Our organization wel- chairs—Erin and Josh—have Trombley-Shapiro Jonas con- speaker was a male.2 Wine and April 2019 to facilitate the comes students from a vari- been developing our men- firmed the event has functioned Cheese, falling at the beginning Nicola Pidala ‘21 ety of backgrounds, includ- torship program to con- similarly in years past: “I loved of the semester, can hopefully Guest Writer ing students who grew up in nect 1Ls with 2Ls and 3Ls. the event and loved that it was encourage female students to working-class or low-income Through this program, we very early in the fall semester and feel more comfortable in class. It transition and communities, students who hope to provide a forum to open to all. It was a great way to is hoped that Wine and Cheese, integration of are first-generation Ameri- discuss various topics, in- show that VLW is a powerhouse as an event early in the semes- first-genera- cans, and students who are cluding financial consider- organization at the school, and ter, can serve as one opportunity tion profes- first in their family to at- ations associated with law as a 1L I know I really appreci- to combat these phenomena in sional students tend high school, college, school and career opportu- ated getting a chance so early on UVA Law classrooms. into Virginia Law and the or graduate school. We rec- nities, balancing academics to meet my professors in a more ---- legal profession through ognize that the issues first with competing professional casual setting. It was definitely [email protected] mentorship, career advis- generational-professionals and personal demands, what one of the very first chances to [email protected] ing, academic support, so- face are not solely limited to “Big Law” and “business ca- do so. Each year after that was cial activities, and more. In these groups and encourage sual” mean, and what elec- just a fun opportunity to hang 1 Women’s Advocacy Project, forming the organization, those who may not identify tives to take Spring 1L. Addi- out with VLW, friends, and pro- Speak Now: Women, Education, our intention was to build with these groups to engage tionally, we hope to provide fessors I liked. It was also a great and Achievement at The Univer- a community of first-gen- in the organization to broad- community and mentorship way to get those interested in sity of Chicago Law School, (May eration students at the Law en the concept of diversity to first-generation students. being more involved with VLW 2018). School to provide support on Grounds and address For anyone interested hooked.” to one another and other barriers to entry that persist in getting involved, please The University of Chicago Law 2 Id. resources that we believe in the profession. reach out to the co-presi- would have benefited us This upcoming year, we dents, Nicole (and Jenny, at during our first year. Many are interested in hosting either [email protected] students who identify as a mix of formal and infor- or [email protected]. first-generation profession- mal events for our members ---- als lack access to some of and the broader Law School [email protected] the class-based privileges community. For First-Gen- of our peers, which can feel eration Student Day on No- like a glass ceiling for ad- vember 8, we plan to have vancement in the legal pro- an event to celebrate the fession. Through program- success of our members and ming aimed at addressing first-generation profession- such economic and educa- als in the legal field. We also tional barriers, we hope to hope to organize events with make the profession a more faculty and staff at the Law inclusive space for students School, career development of diverse backgrounds and offices, law firms, and oth- let first-generation students er student organizations to know that they are welcome connect our members with Students and faculty mingle at VLW’s wine and cheese night in Caplin Pavilion. and supported in an envi- different resources and op- Photo Credit Kolleen Gladden ’21. 4 Colophon VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 18 September 2019 On the Road in the Post-Apocalypse: A Problematic Journey (Part I) So, there we were, out of gas the approaching Blue Checks, furiously and trying to shout cent stats…I think?” The Chief of the departing attendants. and low on water, sitting on the now close enough to count through a pair of socks stuffed of Equals harrumphed and “Bring the Macropods.” hood of the Jeep and munch- without binoculars. in his mouth, was seated to my turned to me. “Big-foots?” I asked Den- Will Palmer ‘21 Dennis hopped down from left. “He’s fine. I got no beef- nis under my breath. Apocalypse the hood. “It’s not that I’m par- I turned and addressed er, problems.” My questioner “I think big-feet is the pre- Enthusiast ticularly woke, my man.” He him quietly, “Hey, buddy, glowered slightly at my faux ferred nomenclature,” he shot punctuated his sentence by the shouting won’t help. You pas and leaned closer. I could back. ing on looted hocking spit onto the cracked know what’s going on, right? smell the expired Kombucha The Chief of Equals, hear- Slim Jims, when asphalt, “I’m just not an ass- The whole big daily judgment on her breath. ing us, turned with a grin both the Blue Checks hole.” show?” Socks, having had the foot- malevolent and delighted. found us. My “Well,” I mused, looking Socks quieted down and wear removed from his mouth, “Our Bailiffs. The guard- traveling companion, Den- towards the sustainably-clad looked at me questioningly. “I chimed in from my left, “I per- ians of this righteous court nis, saw them first, picking out bikers racing towards us, “let’s guess not,” I continued. “Just sonally can’t stand the guy. and the executors of the jus- their advancing bikes from the hope they think so too.” try not to say anything prob- Just un-American, if you ask tice herein set forth. You might asphalt mirage’s scorched liq- The Blue Checks pulled up lematic.” me. Shameful.” know them by a crasser name: uid haze. He took a thoughtful in a cloud of dust, popped out A hush fell over the crowd I turned to look at him, jaw Kangaroos.” bite of mechanically-separated their kickstands, and observed as an ominous figure stalked fully dropped. “Bruh,” I said. Fawkes turned to the chicken and pointed. “Might us for a moment. The closest of out of the darkness of the stage “Kinda problematic.” four lumbering, misshapen have an issue.” them, a tall, skeletal specimen, to the podium. Fawkes piped The Chief of Equals de- figures—robed, cowled, and I wiped the ‘Jim grease off stepped away from their bike up from behind me, “Hail the livered a firm backhand to my masked in the baroque livery of my hands and grabbed the bin- and ambled towards us, face Chief of Equals!” face. “Watch the gendered lan- their byzantine order—which oculars. The advancing bikers, unreadable under a dirty plas- “Hail!” parroted the ser- guage, roamer.” She stepped had just entered my peripheral pedaling insistently toward us tic Guy Fawkes mask (made ried ranks of Blue Checks. back to the podium and lifted vision, and gestured at us with on their fixed-gears, came into in China). Fawkes stopped a The Chief of Equals, her arms to the flock before a head tilt that conveyed un- focus. “Yeah…that’s an issue, few paces away and spoke in a crowned with an immense, in- her. “And yea, the aggressor adulterated, ecstatic glee. alright. Us driving with fos- toneless voice. terlocking stack of antlers be- reveals himself! Bring out the The Macropods were sil fuel and eating processed “You come here uninvited. decked in dreamcatchers and roaster!” shrouded to the point of un- meat products? We’d be tarred, Judgment is required.” They “Coexist” stickers, raised her At the Chief of Equals’ or- recognizability. I found myself feathered, and run out of town gestured to the other riders, hands for quiet. The strands der, two robed Blue Check aco- wondering, as two of them on a rail if these guys didn’t who approached hesitantly. of “healing crystals” wrapped lytes rolled an iron cage onto seized each of my biceps with find all three of those things ex- Fawkes addressed them with around her wrists clacked to- the stage and opened the door. inhuman strength, whether tremely problematic.” what might have been an- gether in the fresh silence. Inside were yesterday’s charred they were in fact the marsupials Dennis shrugged and took noyance. “Do not fear them, “Comrades of the Blue human remains. Socks’s eyes their title proclaimed. The one another bite of his ‘Jim. “Seems comrades,” Fawkes said as Check! We gather today to widened. He asked, to no one grasping my right arm turned like everyone’s got beef these he kicked the empty package judge and punish those we in particular, “What did that the hooded darkness which days. What can ya do.” It wasn’t of ‘Jims. “These two roamers find problematic.” The self- guy do? Not a Kap fan either?” served as its face to receive the a question. feast upon vile sundries. They righteousness evident in her The robed officiants turned to command of its master. “I’m not really concerned cannot withstand the might of tone had me nervously think- him. The Chief of Equals, with with changing their beliefs. I our camaraderie!” ing over my old social media “Who knows?” said the that same undisguised rap- just want to get out of here with “Uh—hey,” Dennis inter- profiles, even though they were left. ture that had been on display my rear end un-roasted,” I shot jected, “You can just put the all lost to the ether in the Crash. “Who cares?” said the throughout the whole of this back, not particularly kindly. bags on and take us to your The electric ghosts of bad jokes right. strange proceeding, pointed “Well, it was either die of place; we’ve done the whole have a way of haunting you, “That was yesterday,” fin- at me and Dennis, and pro- thirst by the side of the road, abducted-by-marauders thing after all. I shook my head and ished the left. nounced our sentence: “To the or get snatched by the Blue before.” turned my attention back to the They dragged Socks into soy mines with them!” Checks and hopefully get some An hour or so later, Den- proceeding at hand. the cage and rolled it offstage. water out of the deal, so we nis and I had the obligatory “Ye that are not verified The congregated Blue Checks To be continued… can’t complain that much.” kidnap-sacks yanked off our shall be judged,” the Chief of followed, leaving Dennis and “You’re forgetting what’s heads and found ourselves Equals was barking. “And ye I alone with Fawkes and the ---- behind door number three,” I seated on wicker chairs in front that are deemed problematic— Chief of Equals. [email protected] replied. of a wooden stage fronted by an yea, thou shalt be brought to Fawkes gestured to one “The Bridge Trolls? I’m not intricately-wrought podium. the roast.” She stepped down forgetting them. I just prefer Our hands remained bound from the platform and paced to not think of their existence. by knotty hempen rope—I before us for a moment before Faculty Quotes Say what you will about eat- briefly wondered whether it turning abruptly, a rictus of ing granola, at least the Blue was free trade—but we were a grin smeared onto her face. B. Spellman: “This better you had Professor Bowers? Checks don’t spend their free relatively unconstrained other- “Now,” she began, in a tone not end up in the Law Week- Yeah…okay.” time hammering out poorly- wise. Fawkes stood behind us, that notified all of us that this ly.” written manifestos that no one watchful eyes glinting out from was definitely a trap, “What A. Woolhandler: “ I have will ever read.” under the mask. Murmuring do you think of…Colin Kaepe- T. Nachbar: “I have a par- silenced the class by filibuster- I raised an eyebrow. Blue Checks stood in rows all rnick?” She looked to Dennis ticular fondness for baked ing it myself.” “Woah. Look at you, getting all around. first. goods, so that’s problematic woke. Maybe we’re not screwed A third prisoner, a short, “Uh. He’s got pretty de- for me.” M. Collins: “Run? See gen- after all.” I gestured towards rotund man who was sweating erally Canada?” G. Rutherglen: “It’s some- thing like trying to figure out C. Nelson: “If the 1997 the Uniform Commercial statute had affirmatively opt- Code on your own. It’s some- ed in—excuse me my phone is Virginia Law Weekly thing only the brave and fool- barking at me.” ish attempt.” COLOPHON Heard a good faculty quote? M. Eleanor Schmalzl ’20 M. Gilbert: “Have any of Email [email protected] Editor-in-Chief Christina Luk ‘21 Executive Editor David Ranzini ‘20 Michael Schmid ‘21 Taylor Elicegui ‘20 Managing Editor Production Editor Features Editor

Samuel Pickett ‘21 Anand Jani ‘20 Grace Tang ‘21 News Editor Special Projects Editor Lifestyle Editor Raphael Cho ’21 Kolleen Gladden ‘21 Cartoonist-in-Chief Douglas Graebner ‘21 Photographer Lena Welch ‘20 Format Editor New Media Editor Jacob Jones ‘21 Tyler D’Ambrose ‘21 Events Editor Drew Calamaro ‘21 Columns Editor Satire Editor

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Wednesday, 18 September 2019 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Hot Bench 5 FLAKE Rashida Tlaib’s blunt remarks on impeachment proceedings, continued from page 1 which included an obscenity di- rected at President Trump. gry responses when he tweeted Senator Flake pointed to kind words about Senator Tim changes during his time on Capi- Kaine after the Virginian was tol Hill that he sees as indicative selected as Hillary Clinton’s of a decline in civility. One such running mate in the 2016 Presi- example was the rapid decline dential election. Similarly, Flake of “pairing votes,” in which a caused a stir among some con- Senator or member of Congress servatives when he crossed the will abstain from voting on a aisle during President Obama’s matter because a counterpart 2012 State of the Union address across the aisle, who would have to sit with Democratic Repre- voted contrarily, was unable to sentative Gabby Giffords from be present for the vote. Senator Arizona. Representative Gif- Flake recalled that Chris Coons, fords was recovering from seri- a Democratic senator from Dela- ous injuries after being shot the ware, abstained from voting on previous year, and Flake assisted advancing the nomination of her as she stood to applaud. Mike Pompeo for Secretary of Senator Flake stated that many State to the full Senate floor out Retired Senator Jeff Flake delivers his lecture on civility in public discourse in the Rotunda Dome Room. Photo Credit Michael Schmid ’21. Republicans perceived him to be of deference to Republican sena- supporting President Obama as tor Johnny Isakson who was un- lands where he stayed for a week enduring legislation. Further- asked where one finds the hope he was often the only Republican able to be present for the vote. by himself with only survivalist more, he declined to fault the that the country will rediscover standing during the Democratic According to Flake, the only tools at his disposal. He returned two-party system for creating its better angels, Senator Flake applause lines. Conversely, he alternative to getting along is be- to the Islands approximately five an inherently antagonistic clash pointed to our nation’s history incurred a negative reaction ing alone. A vivid example of sol- years ago with Senator Martin between two camps that leads to of overcoming fractious times after he tweeted that he did itude he had experienced was his Heinrich, a Democrat from New tribalism. Rather, he generally in the past, as well as a realiza- not agree with Representative trip to the remote Marshall Is- Mexico, with similarly austere prefers the two-party system, tion that there are decent people accoutrements. He stated that but believes that it has worked in Washington attempting to whenever he finds it difficult to in the past because when the do good work. After quoting a be civil and he feels he is ignor- political pendulum swung too story from the Book of Mor- ing the better angels, he thinks of far in one direction, if one party mon, which emphasized that the alternative. became too far outside the main- incivility should be returned When asked by an audience stream, the pendulum would with comity and compassion, member about factors he be- swing back. Now, he questions he quipped that if harsh words lieves have led to a decline in whether our current political were exchanged between Sena- civility, Senator Flake placed culture has reduced that elastic- tors Chuck Schumer and Mitch blame with, among other things, ity which he believes once pro- McConnel, few in the audience current campaign finance rules, vided balance. would believe that the two of the twenty-four-hour news cy- Yet largely absent from the re- them could set aside the un- cle, and the drawn-out election tired senator’s lecture were poli- civil words exchanged and hash periods. As far as particular so- cies in which he believed there out a compromise immigration lutions, Senator Flake stated his was hope for compromise. At bill. Yet such a framing belies opposition to eliminating the fili- times, the unspoken assumption the depth of the ideological rift buster, crediting the Senate rule behind Senator Flake’s words between the two men. Beyond for being the “only mechanism” were that if one says and believes coarse words and occasional in- that forces parties to come to- the right things, current political gether to produce thought-out, divides can break down. When FLAKE page 6

tory stamps—those espe- their employees. Aramark Favorite word? Do you play basket- cially. is a company based out of Boo—I like to call people ball? HOT Philadelphia. Their goal is boo. Yes, it’s my favorite sport. In the fifteen years to enrich and nourish lives When I have free time, that’s BENCH that you’ve worked here, through innovative services What’s your spirit ani- what I do with my son. what are some changes in food. Out of 27,000 em- mal? that you’ve seen come to ployees, they picked me and A lion. If you won the lottery, Scott Commons? another person. I get to go what would you do with The food. That’s about to Arizona for a week on If you could live any- it? the only thing. We used to Aramark’s dime. I’m getting where, where would it I would give half to char- be Grill Works, Montague picked up in a limo from my be? ity and then I would take Deli, and Bene Pizza. Now, house to the airport, and I would want to live in Af- care of my parents, my sib- we’re just Great Harvest then I get pampered for a rica if I could. I want to go lings, and, of course, my Cafe. We used to have hot week in Arizona. there one day. kids. I wouldn’t quit my job. foods like hamburger steak, They say money doesn’t last pork chops, fried chicken I see, I thought this Where did you grow forever, so I won’t quit. Amanda Marie Brock (a Thursday special), and was a university award, up? chicken parmesan—we had but Aramark is our din- Right here in Charlottes- If you could make one Hi Mandy! Welcome to so much stuff. ing contractor. What ville, VA. rule that everyone had Hot Bench! For all our is it that Aramark pro- to follow, what would it readers who might not If there’s one thing you vides? Can you tell us about be? know, Mandy is our lo- could change about the Aramark provides the your adorable kids? Everyone to be nice to one cal superstar in Scott cafeteria, what would dining services, and then I have a seventeen-year- another. Commons who gives us you change? there’s another vendor who old. Her name is Emoni. that life-sustaining sub- The food, to be honest. provides the food. She’s a senior at Charlot- What’s your favor- stance—coffee. Mandy, The stuff we have is good, tesville High School. She ite thing about the Law can you tell us a little but there aren’t as many op- Let’s do a lightning is a very outgoing child. If School? about yourself? tions as before. We used to round! you met her, you would fall The students, faculty, and have more hot dishes and in love with her. She wants atmosphere. Everyone is My name is Amanda, and vegetarian options. Now, Favorite food? to be a Certified Nurse As- so nice and pleasant to me. I’m 38 years old. I’ve been it’s four sandwiches at the Fried chicken, I could eat sistant—she always wants There is a good energy in working at UVA Law for fif- deli and four sandwiches at it to death. to help others. That’s what I this building that I can feel teen years, and I have two the grill. love about her. from my box. I love every- beautiful children. I love my Favorite place in Char- And I have my son, his one I encounter at my coun- job, and I love my cowork- What is your favor- lottesville? name is Jeremiah. He’s ter! ers. I like to play basketball ite thing that you guys Jefferson-Madison Re- fourteen and all he knows and I love collecting stamps. serve? gional Library—I love to is basketball. Basketball is What would you like to The most popular thing is read. life for him; he can tell you tell all the students? How did you get the the Yard Bird Salad and the anything you want to know I want to tell all the stu- nickname Mandy? Cubano from the grill. What do you like to about basketball. I think dents, thank you for every- My cousin named me read? he wants to be a superstar thing that you do. Thank Amanda for her favorite I heard that you won I like mysteries. one day. He’s shy, but he’s you for always being so soap opera. I think my Dad an award recently. a good kid. He just started nice and pleasant to me first started calling me Man- Please share details! Anti-Stress Hobby? high school. when you come to my coun- dy when I was a kid, and it Okay! I got chosen, I don’t Reading while taking a ter. Stay positive! Don’t let just went from there. I like know how, but I got chosen. bath. Are your kids basket- school stress you out. :) Mandy. I think someone recom- ball fans? ---- mended me and wrote a let- Pet peeve? Oh yes, my son is for Ken- amandabrock81@gmail. What kind of stamps ter, but I don’t know who. I think cats. They’re tucky and my daughter likes com do you collect? The award is the highest creepy to me. They’re like Duke. I like UVA. Like the older Black His- honor that Aramark gives to humans almost. 6 The Back Page VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 18 September 2019 FLAKE Overall, however, the senator ap- continued from page 5 peared to be focused on the sin- gular ability of unifying rhetoric Cartoon By Raphael sults, a massive philosophical to snap back to a more civil time and political chasm remains on and bring together those with the issue. ideologically opposed views. As the senator noted, issues Senator Flake expressed a did not fall neatly along party hope that the country will return lines when he began his political to its “old ways” where com- career. Today, sharp tones are promise is essential and people accompanied by even sharper operate on “shared facts and disagreements over fundamen- shared values.” His optimism tal issues that are deeply held reflects the adage that adorned among politicians and mem- the refrigerator in his childhood bers of the public. The divide, it home. For Senator Flake, to “as- seems, goes deeper than uncivil sume the best” means, perhaps, rhetoric and extends to diamet- believing that an increase in co- rically opposed views on key is- mity is the path to finding the sues with little apparent room better angels of our nature. for compromise. Nonetheless, ---- the vast majority of the sena- [email protected] tor’s anecdotes focused on sym- bolic gestures and kind words rather than on how to address finding legitimate agreement on deeply contested policy points. Throughout the night, he re- turned to his support for lifting the travel ban with Cuba that was largely unpopular within his own party as the evidence of his substantive bipartisanship.

Week 1 Softball Results 1Ls Section E v. Section A: 6-3 Section C v. Section D: 11-10 Section J v. Section I: 15-2 Section G v. Section F: 19-4

Co-Rec The PArents v. Nerd Herd: 8-6

Open Humongous Melonheads v. Batter Day Saints: 16-1 HM v. Batmen: 9-4

Enjoy! GMT. 2019 19:52:12 16 Sep Mon on http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku by Generated TIME EVENT LOCATION COST FOOD? WEDNESDAY – September 18 Provided w/ 13:00 – Real Deal: Prosecution Purcell Free RSVP on 14:00 Symplicity Clemons Library 17:30 – Contemplative Room T’ai Chi for Everyone Free --- Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty ratingSUDOKU 0.60) 18:30 220

THURSDAY – September 19 Launch Event for Reception 6 5 3 2 9 12:45 – Educated in Tyranny: following event Rotunda Dome Room Free 14:00 Slavery at Thomas at Colonnade 8 4 2 3 9 Jefferson’s University Club 17:15 – Human Rights Program Dinner Caplin Pavilion Free 19:00 Kickoff provided 4 19:00 – Libel Show Welcome Kardinal Hall Free Appetizers 22:00 Social t 1 3 FRIDAY – September 20 Professional and Ethical Provided w/ 12:00 – Responsibilities of the Pro WB 126 Free RSVP on 13:00 5 8 9 4 Bono Volunteer Symplicity Women’s Volleyball: 19:00 Memorial Gym Free --- Virginia vs. Lehigh 7 5 o c k e SATURDAY – September 21 Solving the Global 8 Refugee Crisis and Other 10:00 – Free, RSVP D Disasters: Business Alumni Hall --- 11:00 required Solutions to the World’s 7 5 1 3 6 Toughest Problems

h e 10:00 – Heritage Harvest Festival Monticello Starts at $26.95 Available 6 3 4 8 2 17:00 T SUNDAY – September 22 15:00 – Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Mon Sep 16 19:52:12 2019 GMT. Enjoy! Genna Matthew Glass House Winery Free --- 17:30 Solution Broadway Talks Back with 17:00 – Drama Building, Tony Winner Jessie Free ---

19:00 109 Culbreth Road

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MONDAY – September 23 6 3 1 2 5 9 4 8 7

17:30 Brian Caputo Jazz Trio Oakhurst Inn Free --- 5 9 7 1 4 8 6 3 2

8 5 2 9 1 4 7 6 3 Men’s Soccer: Virginia vs. 4 1 9 6 7 3 8 2 5 19:00 Klöckner Stadium Free w/ student ID --- Western Michigan

TUESDAY – September 24 7 6 3 8 2 5 9 1 4

Cartooning the White 3 2 5 4 8 6 1 7 9 14:00 – 9 7 6 5 3 1 2 4 8 House: Celebrating Comic Newcomb Hall Theater Free ---

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Artist Patrick Oliphant 1 4 8 7 9 2 3 5 6 15:45 – 0.60) rating difficulty (Medium, 1 Puzzle Budgeting for Life WB 154 Free --- 17:00