AUGUST 1987 KANSAS CITY's Enteili'ainment MAGAZINE Elvis '87: Page 4
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BULK RATE U. S. POSTAGE PAID Permit No. 2419 Kansas City, MO ITCH FREE! ISSUE 80 AUGUST 1987 KANSAS CITY'S ENTEIlI'AINMENT MAGAZINE Elvis '87: page 4 African Pop Shakedown page 20 OMAR AND THE HOWLERS REGINA BELLE HARD TIMES IN THE LAND OFPLENTY ~ ALL BY MYSELF ~ Including: l::'E.J ~rdn~n~=~lrl MISSi:PPPI Hoo Doc Man/Shadow Man Jp/cass. He.rthe BEST NEW BEATS at .~r MODERN MUSIC MONDAYS PRHTI'Y MAIDS ..FUTURE WORLD r FulUIe~~ NMdIea In 1'he Dllrk/Low GaIMe Loud 'N' Proud FROM CBS RECORDS Z KC 'Pitch • AUGUST . if~)I\.i1~i~~~{~~:~· .:.~~." .. ,.,..~~~i~.t.(.~'a~~~~ to concoct a new religion unparalleled in its the loose mirthlessness, the Presbyterian Church. "KC is uptight enough alreadY,' says Snopes. "Who ! KC pITCH ~ On needs the Presbyterians?" i 11 What KC does need, insists Snopes, is the ".. JACK CASHILL First National. "Wf!ve got the roots. Wf!ve got ~-~b' !} .."~"~;~ the members. Wf!ve got the theology. Wf!ve ~~.. August 1987 • Issue 80 ~~~ even got the Book (His twin uncles, Jimmy and ;~.. : ~'~i£~t¥r~~~{~"~1! Who needs 700 Shortly after Hank's untimely suffocation in Jerry, found it on a golfmg tour of the Holy ~?:.."''*' h~.:~i~':'b'$~~'~~ a mud-wrestling contest, St. Paul (aka Saul) Land). Write your councilman. 'Thke him out 4128 Broadway~~t Presbyterians anyway? assumed the leadership of the church and in for a beer. In the name of Jesus H. Christ, Kansas City, Missouri 64111 t~; stituted the sexually and socially repressive don't let this injustice persist!' • (816) 561·1580 f\'"~ o says the Reverend Otis Snopes, and measures - including the notorious "edict of Publisher Hal Brody a1 if he sounds a little bitter, he has the hairy palms" - that would haunt school Executi.ve Edi~or Donna Trussell ~~ good cause to be. While the city boys for centuries to come. Worse, St. Paul Excl usive Pitch ManagIng Editor Scott O'Kelley 'It fathers of Kansas City were ardently ordered all extant Books of Hank burned and ~llEditor Pro Tern Rev. Dwight Frizzell;~ courtings the Presbyterian church, they were all references to Hank expunged from the other Interview With Duran ~~, Advertising Hearne Christopher ~~ spurning the Reverend Snopes' advanced cold. four books. ~$ 1YPesetting Graphic Specialties II ~~~ For those of you who may not know, It got uglier. In the fifteenth century, various Duran at Sandstone ~~~ ~ri~tin~ Neff Printing ~~~ Reverend Snopes is site selection chairman for and sundry holy men concluded that the fpJ; DlstnbutlOn Saul Thcker, ~: Connie Yukon the First National Church of Jesus H. Christ. Catholic Church was not repressive enough, l\1 ~ ?y..~;it..1\,,~"r;.r..s:-{;,.1j.~·,,;.;;;-~~fi:I;.ii.~1::'i"!~~~.~ Currently headquartered in Bolivar, Missouri, and so they started what their PR men in STEPHEN SIMPSON the First National has long been seeking a site, sistently called ''The Reformation!' Leading the ~ Contributing writers: ~ Snopes claims, "more suitable for entertain way were John and Thmmi Fae Calvin who, ~ Lero~ Jack Casbill, Steve Walker, WItter ; ing out-of-town guests and pilgrims!' With its among their other fun-crunching acts, forbade "Simon ... wait a minute ... Nick I'm with r~ Stanford, Bill Marks, Joe Bob Brigs, j jazz tradition, its barbecue, its major league the utterance of the name "Jesus H. Christ!' '" Just a second ... John ... hey guys wait! Hold ~~ Jay Mandeville, Rev. Dwight Frizzell, :.:: sports and its soon-to-be-opened race track, In their wake came John Knox, a Scottish real on, just a couple of questions! Hey wait for "~1: Mary Ferrante, Clay Copilevitz, Steve f. ~ Simpson, Charles R.W. Station ~ Kansas City seemed ''a natural!' estate developer who specialized in retirement me!" So why then did the city turn a cold shoulder villages. In 1560 John blended the Calvinist ~ Contributing artists: 'ii. Sandra Summers, Rich Van Cleave Snopes' way. The answer, says Snopes, "pure tenets with the famed Scotch sense of frivolitiy ~~ i ·1!.'\..,,:... ~;~~~~:~~~~i~~·~~"~1~··~lt1!:~~'h-~~;; and simple is prejudice. Religious prejudice. ~ KC Pitch is sponsored by PennyLane /t. They'll never come out and say it, but those .~~ Records. Copyright • 1987 by Brody 1\ narrow-minded geezers just didn't like our ~~ Records. All rights reserved. Subscrip- ~ theology!' :~: tions are $5 for one year or $9 for two ,.~ 10 be honest, the First NatiolU!l ~.bave ~~ years. PennyLanemail order customers ~ un~ ~CaJ:hi&tory. According to NEW OWNER IS ~ and Preferred Customers get a free ~ SnopeS, the FIrst National was founded by ~ subscription. .. ~ Jesus H. Christ. The H stands for Henry, or ~~t~~l~9%:~~~~\~t"~~4}jJ~ ~I~~~~~~~~"-;-~";~~~" ollowers. rot er to esus- fathers:' Snopes chuckles - Hank was an even better carpenter than his belf.Md older llrq$her. Although he lacked Jesus' congenital flair for the divine, Hank could change a pile of lumber into a deck as quickly as his brother could change water into wine. Some say that Hank WESTPORT actually invented the deck. And certainly the Ie ·4128 Broadway Roman-inflated demand for his deck-building Kansas City, MO 64111 skills preoccupied Hank during Jesus' public (816) 561-1580 ministry. Nevertheless, Hank did chip in as time allowed. In fact, he was known as the "thir LAWRENCE teenth apostle!' And his easygoing, good-old 844 Massachusetts boy, live-and-let-live philosophy had a Lawrence, KS 66044 palliative effect on Jesus and helped distinguish (913) 749-4211 his mission from some of the harsher and more repressive movements that preceded it. Accord ing to Snopes, it was the crucifIXion that galvanized Hank into action. Upon Jesus' SOUTH KC ascension, Hank actually assumed control of 1201 W. 103rd the fledgling Christian movement, built a string 50% OFF MOST Kansas City, MO 64114 of churches across the Holy Land (all with DECO & '50s rrEMS (816) 941-3970 distinctive decks), and wrote the long lost BRING AD FOR DISCOUNT "Book of Hank!' This unusual book laid out what Hank believed was the real philosophy of Christiani OVERLAND PARK ty. ''And who knew Christ better?" Snopes 9641 W. 87th editorializes. It called, of course, for mercy, Overland Park, KS 66212 justice, forgiveness and religious tolerance. But (913) 341-5255 the book went further still. In it, Hank codified the basic rules of Bingo (gk. Bingos), his sec Records • Cassettes ond great invention. He set aside the "seventh day" for rest and the "sixth day" for "the Compact Discs • Videos track" (gk. hippodromos). He prescribed the ecclesiastical use of beer (gk. Budveiserikos). 7 ~ 5 WESTPORT RD And he also introduced the basic guidelines for 756-00~O "safe sex" (gk. utilitos prophylaktos). As Snopes jokes, "Hank left little room for the devil to maneuver. It was a hell of a church!' Unfortunately, good things don't last forever. ELVIS PRESLEY News mE 1987 COMMEMORATIVE REIJ~~ES RCA Records is proud to "...nt a fiffing tnbute to Elvis p~, the unctlSputed king of rock and roll. Four sfate-of·the-art recordings, all digitally ranlastered so you mn hear them with new darity. Ip/cass. August 16 1977 is Elvis' death 8 + 16 + 1977 = 2001 CDs When composer Richard StrallSS was add· a revolution in YOUUt-consQousness and global 20% ing the final touches to the incomparable awareness that today,with Nierzscheanex. sunrise scene that opens "Also Sprach uberance, is still transforming us. off Zarathustra:' he had no inkling that his 1896 .>1 ·lIpauJto_U••• r .... , .. JJ_,_;j'~'"·~.!I~•• I.l.I.L_""Iii •••.• -.LiIIIllII·· ___ IIIII'.' _1........ \ strike a responsive chord in the soul of a young complicated young man, who would shrug off truckdriver from Memphis, llmnessee, who his hold on the world's attention with would himself become the spark that igJiWcl ~.seIf~on, was nevertheless the focus and causal link in a major shift in the history of Western ideas, pointing toward Davey's Uptown the kind of across-the-board unification of history, physics, folk wisdom and psycho political know-how that we are now witness ing in things like satellite data-links and the Ramblers Club multi-culture textures of popular music. With Kubrickian expansiveness, as dramatic as the shift from ape to spaceship in "2001;' 1987 pro vides us with a vantage point from which we can see the immense contribution of the guitar drum monolith to our next big move upward as a planetary society - and there, like a se BLUESDAY TUESDAY quin and silk Starchild in a pink Cadillac, we look in awe at the still explosive rhythm and OPEN MIC JAM SESSION EVERY TUESDAY blues gestures-in-a-global-context that was Elvis, and shake our heads in wonder that such SATURDAY AUGUST 8 AND 15 a phenomenon could ever have taken place. August 16, 1987 - a day of cosmological THE NOW upheaval when the Mayan calendar runs out is the tenth anniversary of Presley's death. SATURDAY AUGUST 22 AND 29 Prophecies of the Maya, Hopi, Aztec and many other traditions all indicate a con vergence of evoluti~nary spirit-influences on this critical day. One exciting manifestation of THE BULLABREWS this convergence will be 440,000 people pray ing for peace and ooderstanding worldwide via simultaneous satellite-link. In Memphis the candles will be burning. For those· at Coldest beer in the hemisphere! Stonehenge and Maccu Piccu the stars may seem to move a little closer. And beside these lonely, lost-in-the-rnist observers, and amid 3402 Main 753-9841 groups of hopeful worshippers - the voice of Elvis, his body moves and blue suede shoes, burn like icons. -Jay Mandeville and Rev. Dwight Frizzell 4 KC Pitch • AUGUST with the king LEROI® f you haven't noticed, the PMRC are French-Frith-Kaiser-Thompson * * * * * back on their witch-hunt again.