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DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH OR ? English-speakers, who make up only 11,3% of humanity, are proud to speak the language supposedly used in the global village. However, many other people seem to speak an odd version of English, called Globish by the author. Non-English-speakers are often fluent in it,

DEBATED whereas English-speakers pain to speak and understand it. Might it not be time to recognize Globish as the world village’ official language? This would free non-English-speakers from their complexes and force English-speakers to recognize how much effort they should make to be understood. And French would have a chance to thrive, along with many other national tongues that have difficulty maintaining a presence.(1)

by Jean-Paul NERRIERE, former vice-président of Digital Equipment Europe, sales manager of Peugeot automobiles, vice-president of IBM-USA

Article translated from French by Noal Mellott (CNRS, Paris, France)

Article published in French in Gérer et Comprendre [March 2003] http://www.annales.org/

definition, English is a language spoken in a United States, Ireland, Singapore, Zimbabwe, country called England and, by extension, in Jamaica and New Zealand in addition, naturally, to Bthe adjacent areas (Scotland and Wales) that the irreproachable United Kingdom. form Great Britain or, to complete the picture, the We are forced to draw the conclusion that English is United Kingdom (with Northern Ireland). Forty- neither a single language, nor a unified one. What to five other nations have proclaimed English as their say then about this language resembling it that peo- official language: in all, 480 million people – at most ples as multifarious as the French, Italians, Koreans, 11,3 % of humanity according to newspapers. Brazilians, Russians, Chinese, and so forth, strive to All these peoples have inflicted so many adjust- speak? We form, in fact, the majority – 88,7% – of ments upon this language that it is profitable for the planet’s population. William Gates to issue Microsoft software in nine- Besides, international communication is even more teen debased versions, each with its own speller, biased in our favor. The findings of the British for: South Africa, Australia, Belize, Canada, the Council, the highest authority on learning and spea- Caribbean, India, Indonesia, Ireland, Malaysia, the king English, agree with us. According to English next, Philippines, Trinidad and Tobago, Hong Kong, the a major study commissioned by the British Council

attention. The author sent us an amplified French version. After circula- (1) This article, published in Revue de ’ Association des Membres de ting it among colleagues, we received so many reactions that we publi- l’Ordre des Palmes Académiques under the title “English ou Globish, le shed it in the March 2003 issue of Gérer & comprendre along with paradoxal et fabuleux déclin of the ”, attracted our excerpts from written reactions [editor’s note].

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and written by David Graddol(2), 96% of internatio- cations) and from the purity of the authors he met nal communication involves at least one nonnative during a course of study once called the Humanities. English-speaker, and 74% occurs between nonnative As much can be said about Globish. This impure dia- English-speakers. lect is not intended to lead its speakers to an unders- tanding of a culture or to a proficiency that could make them shine in Oxford. It is spoken in the trivial GLOBISH, THE VEHICLE OF COMMUNICATION pursuit of efficiency in all places, at all times and with all people. FOR 88% OF HUMANITY AND 96% OF NERRIERE JEAN-PAUL INTERNATIONAL COMMUNICATIONS The confusion between English and Globish is, in fact, pernicious. Among the French and other Our universe has Globish-speakers, it recently shrunk owing quite clearly causes a to progress in communi- complex of inferiority cations, both physical in relation to the inha- (trans- portation, in bitants of the 45 particular air traffic) nations that have adop- and dematerialized ted English as official (telecommunications, language or one of its fax, Inter- net, etc.). In official languages. what remains of it (now Any white-collar wor- called the global village king in a multinational by convention), the firm has, some time or inhabitants’ common other, participated in a language is not English festive meeting where but a universal vehicle Argentineans, Finns, of communication with Thais and Sene galese several distinct charac- were joyously chatting teristics that deserve away until a Cali-fornian attention. I shall call walked into the room. this language “Globish”. Sud denly, you could There is no doubt hear a pin drop. The about it: Globish stems only persons who dared from English. But it dif- continue talking were fers as much from those who had a long English as Thucydides’ practice in speaking to Greek from the lan- persons whose mother guage spoken by all ton-gue is English. The inhabitants who had others became all ears as, the slightest tinge of huddled in a corner, cosmopolitanism in the they crouched in judge- Roman Empire at the ment on their own poor time when the message use of the language. A

of Christ had started © Bridgeman Giraudon few minutes earlier spreading. A practitio- however, everybody had “Any white-collar working in a multinational firm has, some ner of Classical Greek time or other, participated in a festive meeting where been happily communi- need but immerse him- Argentineans, Finns, Thais and Senegalese were joyously chat- cating something that self in Christianity’s ting away until a Californian walked into the room. Suddenly, well enough approxima- founding texts to rea- you could hear a pin drop. The only persons who dared continue ted their thoughts. talking were those who had a long practice in speak-ing to per- lize how much the lan- sons whose mother tongue is English.” Everybody was enjoying guage he knows differs the faults made by from Koine (literally the “common language” with others and their accents. Everybody was absolving the countless improprieties, approximations and simplifi- other speakers with a zeal that was proof both of the awa- reness of one’s own imperfections and of the indulgent impunity that reigned in this gathering. (2) English next on http://www.britishcouncil.org/learning-research- Who has not, some time or other, let native English-spea- englishnext.htm. Los Angeles to Boston does not count in the statistics, but Sydney to London does, representing a tiny 4% of all international kers go on talking without under-stan ding what they communication. were saying and without daring to ask them to repeat?

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58 DEBATED his best using a faltering tongue? faltering a using best his a peasant family on the banks of the Danube, is doing the inhabitant of the global village who, coming from or speaker straying English- native The a tourist? mese Vietna- by understood himself make to manage aie nls-paes sm- wo not does who some-one or English-speakers, native understand not does who Someone wrong? is Who American? an of presence the in speechless many so leaves face GÉRER ET COMPRENDRE • JUNE 2010 • ISSUE 100 ISSUE • 2010 JUNE • COMPRENDRE ET GÉRER losing of fear the since English, in presumably us, to Who has not observed that the Japanese prefer talking Portuguese?a as a Scot to talk to easy as not it that noticed not has Who need to make an effort to improve. to effort an make to need poorly,Globish speak they they since that, learn should latter The lesson. a English-speakers native majority,teach numerical should overwhelming English-speakers nonnativetheir Given ic EG a sotn a hr wt te initials the with shirt a sporting was ECG Since cuffs. the discreetly,on less or, pocket the on initials placed your have to is option An chosen. have you cloth the of out cut later hours five order the deliver mean not does will letters”).He upper-case “writein but “printout” which please”, (“Print name your measurements, notes them on a form where you write just visited. The tailor comes to your room, takes your had he which Kong, Hong in room hotel your from order you that shirts superb those of one sporting – – ECG Gibson initials, his after Electrocardiogram nicknamed Conrad Edmund colleague appreciated As vice-president of IBM-USA, I remember my much

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R... on the cuffs, I teased him about having stolen agree on the core vocabulary. In fact, such a list is it. Not at all! He explained at length and in detail his already available for the public. It has come out of preferences and mo- tives. He had asked the tailor if what Alain Rey, a distinguished linguist on the radio, it were possible to have the initials in red rather than has called the “courageous effort” that the French lan- in the customary blue. The tailor repeatedly made guage has yet to make. The list, which goes under the positive respon-ses, bowing each time as was be- name of “special English”, is even paired with a dictio- fitting. ECG insisted, “I want them red! Under-stand? nary on Voice of America’s website(3). For forty years red? ! E! D! Goddammit, RED!” “Yes sir, Yes sir, now, this radio has intelligently built up its world JEAN-PAUL NERRIERE JEAN-PAUL R.E.D.” To be clear, ECG had even used a red felt-tip audience by broadcasting in this deliberately pared- pen to write RED in big letters across the form for down language. This language is intelligible both to jotting down the measurements. Would you be-lieve most people in the global village and to native it? The tailor came back with twelve shirts marked with English-speakers, since whoever can do more can do the initials RED, each initial artistically embroidered in less, at least in general. blue! The laborious attempt to get rid of them had left A word to the wise about this core vocabulary: it marks that were even funnier than the initials. ECG includes the word “wise” but none of the following: madly vociferated against the congenital inability of discerning, sapient, farseeing, intuitive, judicious, Hong-Kongers to understand English. sensible, prudent, sage, learned, shrewd, cunning, I explained to him that, when he missed the hole in crafty, artful, foxy, keen, sharp (in this sense), wary, golf, he could blame the ball, the club, his excessive mindful, cognizant, acquainted with or smart. libations or himself (when clear-headed), but that I Whenever you or a Georgian – from Atlanta – picks had never heard him criticize the hole itself. In this a word out of this long list, what you say will be more situation, the target of communication was the tai- accurate, cogent, precise, but only in the very few lor in Hong Kong. If ECG had missed the target, it situations where you are speaking to a native English- was surely his own fault, not the target’s. speaker. In the global village however, using a distin- Given their overwhelming numerical majority, non- guished, overdrawn vocabulary reduces the chances of native English-speakers should teach native English- communicating effectively with 88,7 % of humanity. speakers a lesson. The latter should learn that, since A choice has to be made: in favor of the presumed they speak Globish poorly, they need to make an elite or of the oppressed majority, in favor of an aris- effort to improve. This would be asking so much of tocratic sense of perfection or of successfully perfor- native English-speakers that the complex of inferiority ming a speech act (command, order…) that, other- would inevitably turn to our advantage. A simple, wise, would not be understood by the listener whom immediate procedure could be put to use. At the end the speaker, of course, has not clearly understood… of a sentence we do not understand, we need but ask, The playwright Pierre Corneille, it has been said, used “Could you repeat, please, in Globish this time, if you 3500 words to write all of his works in French, inclu- can?” The effect will be outspoken, “Globish? ding the refined description of the feelings of Whazzat, ‘nother Yurpean gimmick?” In the worst of Chimène and Rodrigue for each other. It has also cases, the opportunity will arise to provide educatio- been said that former Prime Minister Laurent Fabius nal propaganda about Globish and the speaker’s grave has, on the television or radio, the talent of restricting lack of proficiency in it. his vocabulary to 300 words and, thus, increases his What makes Globish so different from English? Since chances of having the French public understand him. the answer requires an explanation incompatible with This fine effort deserves our compliments, unlike this article’s size limitations, I shall mention but a few Michel Jobert whom we heard on television calling characteristics by way of illustration. Jacques Chaban Delmas a coruscant prime minister. Thinking I was educated, my mason asked me the next day for an explanation of this word (which GLOBISH IS SPOKEN WITH FEW WORDS means brilliant). France has, unfortunately, failed to conceive of the reality described in the lines of this article. It, there- The English language comes in an authentic variety with fore, makes its schools teach us English rather than 615.000 words (in the 1989 Oxford English Dictionary). developing our students’ ability to enter into a dialog Most educated English-speakers use from ten to fifteen in the global village, and thus boost our exports. As a thousand. By way of contrast, Globish is ideally spoken consequence, considerable effort is put into grasping with 1500 words and, if possible, no more. the subtleties of Oscar Wilde or even Mark Twain; Which words? It would be practical were everyone to and an illusion of inferiority is fostered toward those

2009, on http://author.voanews.com/english/archive/2009-08/2009-08- (3) Check out http://www1.voanews.com/learningenglish/about-us/ for 25 -voa17.cfm. For the vocabulary list, see the word book on an introductory remark on VOA Special English; and the article by Ted http://www.manythings.org/voa/words.htm#H. Landphair, “VOA special English at 50 hits the fast lane”, 25 August

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brought up on the language of Buckingham Palace. learning our mother tongue? After all, each of us rec- Nevertheless, the chances of being understood in ognizes ten times more words than we use. Ushuaia are slimmer with a highly polished English

DEBATED than with an efficient Globish. Globish deserves attention and should be taught as such in special GLOBISH IS SPOKEN WITH MANY WORDS courses. This effort-sparing simplicity would be justi- fication enough for teaching Globish to all pupils, none excepted. If the vocabulary has to stay small, then a larger num- Éditions Diagonal, a company based at Sophia ber of words will have to be used to express concepts, Antipolis in southern France, has made a software all of them in the intended concept’s vicinity but none program, Glob-Lexis(4), which uses a dictionary limi- of them corresponding exactly to it. Only the words, ted to the 1500 standard words in Globish and words as they accumulate, intersect the semantic field at the derived from this core list (for instance, not only place that best intercepts the intended meaning. To “child” and “children”, but also “childless” and “chil- express “cunning”, a proscribed word in Globish, you dish”). The software flags any word not on this list will first say “wise”, then, in a new sentence “very and automatically proposes synonyms from Globish organized”, and finally “hard to trust”. In this way, or a definition using simpler words whenever there is you manage to focus in on the target. If only 90 % of no synonym (for instance, English has no synonym listeners understand the first word, the rate of com- for “nephew”, but you can always say “the son of my prehension will rise to 99 % after the second. brother”… and be more clearly understood in You navigate by approximation, no one will have Odessa!). With this program, persons fluent in understood everything; but the result will be more English, native or not, are able to write texts that eve- satisfactory than resorting to “cunning”, which some ryone else can understand. What is written might be listeners will not understand at all. You win by wanting in academic elegance, but it is still perfectly making successive advances in comprehension along correct English. I exercised using President Obama’s the lines of what you want to say while avoiding inauguration speech. My Globish version has exactly misunderstandings or total incomprehension. the same contents, but ten times more people around To effectively express one’s thoughts in Globish calls the world can easily understand it. Although Globish for an exceptional sense of discipline. Talk a lot, re- tolerates imperfections as long as the message comes state the same idea several times in a row while using across, it is recommended to use a simple, correct lan- different words, replace the accurate but seldom used guage. This is, at present, the only software whose word with a series of terms that end up delimiting the spell-checking feature accepts both British and idea and increasing the chances of being understood. American spellings. Being allowed to mix the two This is the very opposite of what happens when we makes life easier for nonnative English-speakers, and use our mother tongue, where concision and preci- does not at all impair what readers understand: “cen- sion are the mainstays of communication. ter” or “centre”, “gray” or “grey”, makes no difference. Let us take this idea a step farther by imagining that students could sit for examinations in Globish com- GLOBISH IS SPOKEN WITH THE HANDS position to measure the candidate’s aptitude to res- pond without using words not on the acceptable vocabulary list. Computers (scanners, etc.) could pro- In multinational circles, we come across ill-intentioned cess these exams. The scores would reflect the candi- persons who claim that Italians speak English very well date’s aptitude to stick to the list instead of his ability but understand it very poorly. Italians naturally use (very detrimental in Globish) to use a sophisticated, countless gestures to accompany the voice. If only the specialized vocabulary. persons responding to them did as much! However a So much for the ability of candidates to express them- sense of modesty along with the use of the written lan- selves in Globish, but what about their aptitude to guage and of the telephone have made gestures lose understand the Globish spoken to them? The vaster ground to exact terms chosen out of the vocabulary. their vocabulary, the greater their chances of posses- Speaking English to an Englishman does not require sing the word hoard necessary for understanding the gesticulating, but speaking Globish in Osaka is done influential minority made up of British, Americans, better with gestures than without. It is necessary to Australians, et al., whose efforts to limit themselves to relearn how to use body language (the hands, facial Globish are still less than certain. The difficulty is to expressions, etc.). To make a long story short: declaim recognize many words but only use 1500 of them… less and perform more – like an actor. But did we not encounter the same difficulty when When the Europeans reached North America, the natives were speaking more than 500 different lan- guages belonging to 42 families. But they also had a (4) See http://www.jpn-globish.com/ sign language that enabled them to communicate

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across the continent, despite the incoherent variety of a Dictaphone, in the presence of the persons gathered. tribal languages. Even the invaders managed to In this way, it is possible, once again, to check on how understand them with ease. The explorer Francisco much they have understood. Vasquez Coronado noticed that while questing, in During a meeting or interview, the level of compre- 1540, for the Seven Cities of Gold – an unsuccessful hension should be evaluated frequently by asking expedition that led him to discover bison and the questions, summarizing the points made, writing a Grand Canyon instead. The natives had told him in list of intermediate conclusions on the whiteboard, sign language that the canyon was far away, and their taking breaks (supposedly for coffee) and watching JEAN-PAUL NERRIERE JEAN-PAUL indications were clear enough even for a Spaniard the body language of the person in the group who (according to the conquistador’s account). says the least so as to gauge his level of comprehension To speak Globish, you need to work at controlling the – a thousand small habits that those of us who have pace of speech, the first physical change to be made. frequented multinational circles have acquired Globish is spoken slowly while articulating as distinctly through experience and that deserve to be systema- as possible. The Voice of America programs in “special tized and taught. Although nothing of all this matters English” – the radio is not familiar with the neologism in English, it is a matter of course in Globish. “Globish” – are recorded by deliberately pronouncing words at two-thirds of a normal conversation’s speed. We others, the French, have an advantage, since GLOBISH IS ACCEPTING OF ANY ACCENT most native English-speakers have an unfortunate habit. When you plead with them to talk more slowly, they try but fail to do so, and then start tal- An American from Los Angeles or an Englishman king louder. They confuse a sound’s volume with its from Birmingham hears his language spoken with an speed. Ours is not to suffer from the failure to make exotic accent many a year after having heard his this distinction. mother tongue for the first time. In the meantime, during childhood and adolescence, everyone in his environment spoke with the accent that has become GLOBISH IS EXPURGATED OF EXPRESSIVENESS his own. Once grown up, native English-speakers AND FIGURES OF SPEECH spend about 98% of their time talking to compatriots and 2% speaking in Globish with people whose pronunciation is, to say the least, strange and approxi- Do not commit the grievous mistake of translating mate. figures of speech from your mother tongue. Have you What a difference with Globish-speakers! They, too, ever tried to make anyone other than a native French spend their lives talking in their own language with speaker understand that your lumbago forces you to the people around them. But when they use the vehi- sleep en chien de fusil, literally in a “dog of a gun” (i.e., cle of global communication, it is with Japanese, curled with knees pulled up in a fetal position) or that South Americans, Ukrainians, Arabs from the Gulf… it makes it hard for you to take a walk in Manhattan and, inevitably, with the natives of the 45 lands that longer than a few pâtés de maisons (“loafs of houses”, have adopted English as an official language (the afo- an odd reference to gastronomy meaning “blocks”). rementioned minority), each land with its own dis- Native English-speakers have their own figures of tinct accent. speech. When they use them, they impair a little more These belated students of Globish share a trait that is the effectiveness of what they intend to say in fully to their advantage. Their ear has developed an Globish. Do not imitate them. What does “touch unbelievable tolerance for all these incredible accents, base with someone” mean? Or “hit a home run”, which are so often unintelligible to native English-spea- “cover three bases” or a “pitch” (in place of a “talk”) to kers, especially to whoever has landed in the global vil- someone in Istanbul who has never seen a baseball lage after leaving their home in Illinois. It is a superior game? advantage to be able to understand others well despite their lack of proficiency in the language spoken.

GLOBISH IS SPOKEN USING EDUCATIONAL AIDS GLOBISH IS ULTIMATELY A DISADVANTAGE FOR NATIVE ENGLISH-SPEAKERS Audiovisual aids are indispensable when communica- ting: skins for overhead projectors, computer presen- tations, documents distributed before the meeting, Let us follow this idea a little farther. There is no drawings and illustrations doodled on a sheet of paper proof that native English-speakers communicate bet- or the whiteboard, etc. ter in the global village, nor any grounds for such an The minutes of meetings should be written live, using advantage, even though this assumed superiority

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62 DEBATED etr s s n bcm te agigtc o native of laughingstock the become and is as letter the send Or pidgin. a is English his that not hear Correct to would like and tried sincerely do? has he since so more to What Vincenzo’s writing? That would hurt his feelings, even English-speaker. native a embarrass would that but Globish in frequent still Apulia, Bari, Italy. in The letters are riddled with blemishes of the born sort Domani, pre- Vincenzo letters by signaturepared for receives London, in born vice-president a PeterSmith, example, For it. written GÉRER ET COMPRENDRE • JUNE 2010 • ISSUE 100 ISSUE • 2010 JUNE • COMPRENDRE ET GÉRER has who person the be to likely less and less is dence correspon-a signing person the since wardsituations, awk- to lead ladder career the on advances However ability.of lack native their be to feel they what for up making dictionary,thus a in words up look lessly shame- to order in hide can they when correspondence later, it read written hierarchical receive organization’s who Those the ladder. on rung speaker’s the with along rises it But communications. in written peaks suffer English-speakers native which from of grammar; and knowledgelive utteringly happy. our The disadvantage and accent our possible as much as improving on go us Let hand. at the communication for suffices down, toned though that, the language on happening is Internet, where exchanges what take place in an elementary of notice Take plexes! com- our aside cast us Let words. thousand fifteen or ten to up now, run years for has, vocabulary current his since so, do to English-speaker native a for than to words,simple 500 1 to Englishpoor tially vocabulary Frenchman a for easier ini- restrictinghis byGlobish, in thoughts expresshis times thousand a is It his Texandespite fluent English. all at not was boss dumbstruck my which in language a Globish, in thoughts my express to tried had was I that advantage only My say.” you what understand we least, “At Globish, in said, even them of Several speech. my on me complimented spontaneously who nationalities all of participants of number the by so, wrongly though surprised, still am I exchanges. mal break was deliberately long in order to facilitate infor- coffee The his. Worth,)made Fort from (who came boss American my before viewpoint and personal speech introductory my delivered I computer. of brand major certain a using were who Europeans of congress a chaired I Cannes, in ago years Several I’mbirthright.” byout; blameless things sort you, understand don’ you’re I proficiency.in lacking one the It’s to you to up or me, you If you. understand on don’tbut me on not is proof of onus the and talk, to how know communication, I since English speak I that international given of the vehicle in the put be is English might that postulate the “Given words: following that mentality widespread a on light sheds It anecdote. an than more tells Kong Hong in tailor the about story The assertion. doxical para- seemingly this prove to enough easy is It tion. reputa- disputed seldom a alas!, with, them endows conveyed is understood. is conveyed be to message the as long as – Globish in variant ful ding in English can then be said to be an exotic, color- Provence.or Beauce degra- and unacceptable is What La from come to better is it case, this “neighbor”?In and “neighbour” mixes merrily that letter a signing of ashamed being avoid to American’sHow English? the correct to How languages. identical not but close both British, two paper on down is set They English. their of signing proud person the and American is writer the when he arises situation what worst The read signs?” to bother Smith “Doesn’t think, bly proba- will letter, the receiving who, English-readers of a culture,aof living,ofart otheran intellectual andan refine- all as well tongues,maintainthuswilllanguagethegroundits as as French, Globish. variant, ped deliberatelyremoteanda favor ofunderdevelo- inted towardsituationa whereEnglish fullywillbediscredi- Despitethe seeming paradox, we should, logically, shift sion. is congenitally limited, will increase the article’s diffu- it as insofar Globish, Frenchman,whose a by written in write one than read less to be will English-speaker native a by have written you report or letter a consequence, a world, As Globish. the in read be everywhere to want you If tactical. assassinate purely to is It attempt French. an to amount not does cine medi- on article the for preference language the that Europe. Thanks to this entertainment, we come to see of language the becoming of had ago years thousand two basin Mediterranean the in used Greek the than Frenchsupplanting of morechances no has language, minimal this Globish, English. muffle but can sion diffu- whose Globish, is it that idea the minute a for entertain us Let English. using indeed, are, they that believe you as long as acceptable, is French of stead in- English in medicine on article an writing ferred pre- have French-speakers few a because upset Being first. the impoverish and contaminate inevitably will speech of form second This ancestors. pared down, is up to the task outside the land of their unusually rich native tongue with a lingo that, though and lovely a pairing will of schizophrenia They the experience language. own of their vow the in make impoverishment to have to going are authors ing English-speak- native dialect, village’s new global the in efficient understood be To English. very from derived but Globish unintelligible an speaking have little, to hope by little start, to going is I humanity of 88,7% shown: as destiny, foreseeable language’s to English were appalling become the world’s language. But that is not at all the be so, rightly would, It CHANCE FOR SURVIVALFOR CHANCE PROSPERITY AND IS LANGUAGE’SGLOBISH FRENCH THE BEST 056-064 Nerrière_• pages paires G&C 96 09/06/10 12:25 Page63

ment for whoever wants to attain proficiency in some- words that he deemed too rare from a presentation thing so gratifying and complex. Neapolitans who want I was preparing. I also recognize the situation where to pick their brains and broaden their culture should, no no one could understand the only American in a doubt, learn French. The more proficient they are in it, group of French, Spaniards, Austrians, Turks, etc. the higher their level of culture and humanity, in all res- with whom I was working. Some persons said, “As pects. They should also carefully avoid devoting as soon as John opens his mouth, I don’t understand much effort to English, since too much proficiency in it anything.” I remember a telephone conference where would put them at a disadvantage in the global village, I was at one end along with a Frenchman who gibbe- JEAN-PAUL NERRIERE JEAN-PAUL where it is better to restrict oneself to the 1 500 Globish red English with a heavy accent from Toulouse, and words – lest the shirts you order come with the wrong the American was at the other end with a few other initials on them, lest you make an Oriental lose face and people. Whenever the American asked the lest you have trouble being understood by anyone not Frenchman a question, the latter did not understand belonging to the 11,3% of humanity whose parents lea- he was being addressed. So I had to elbow him to ned over the cradle rapturously baby-talking in English. indicate that it was up to him to answer! Admitting that English, given its worldwide diffu- However I don’t really believe what is said about sion, is the biggest threat to the influence of French, Globish not being a menace for national languages. let us then imagine that I would write an article The very way the text is written in French illustrates claiming to know how to reinstate French as the lan- this perfectly. The number of Anglicisms to be found guage of diplomacy and the preferred vehicle for in a text on the survival of French in comparison with international communication. People, at least in English is irksome. France, would prick up their ears excitedly. Imagine Alfred Galichon, a mining engineering student that I then told them, “You have to speak and write French with only 1500 words, in simple sentences of This is also the theory of Claude Hagège, a professor less than thirteen words, while using body language in linguistics at Collège de France. But it does and audiovisual aids.” What would we not read in nothing to exempt us from learning English. Besides, French newspapers were we forced, for the sake of Globish is all the more acceptable insofar as it comes efficiency, to learn how to use no more than 1500 close to English. When you hear the English spoken words to waggle our belle langue? Linguists would by Nordics (Swedes, Danes, Norwegians, Germans), accuse me of “slaughtering our language”, but they it might not be classical English, but it’s very close. should agree that such a recommendation for the And in England, there are local varieties: in competitor of French amounts to a support of our London, Manchester, etc. language, its status and influence. What bothers me about this theory is that it often serves as an alibi for laziness. When I was writing my dissertation, I was not allowed to publish it in PRO AND CON English, but I soon came to see that those who held this opinion were simply unable to publish in English […] just as the zealots for publishing in English are We received several enthusiastic reactions, including a often incapable of writing in “good” English. All that few written ones. As you will see in the excerpts is so obvious and ridiculous. In the countries I men- below, .P. Nerrière’s ideas have also been met with tioned, the papers are in good English. Having said skepticism or disagreement. that, I know the author whose career was at IBM! I have forwarded this article to all foreign language Alumnus of a French “elite” university teachers here. It reassures English teachers about their teaching of English while using the TOIEC to measure An excellent and quite pertinent article. Let us not the level of students in Globish. And it reassures the tea- forget that the characteristic of a living language is chers of other languages (German, Portuguese, Russian, […], for better or worse, to live! What is really the Chinese, etc. – nearly a hundred of them) about the worst is to be petrified, academic, dead. Latin was not relevance of their work and about their own occupatio- created in its standardized form (De viris illustribus) nal prospects! In short, a true message of peace for two till the 19th century as the universal language for the groups engaged in ongoing warfare: those who teach Catholic Church. At the time of the Roman Empire, languages other than English are jealous of the predomi- it thrived. The barbarians did not fail to utter the bar- nance of English in the curriculum […] and English barisms that the French Academy would stamp with teachers are tempted to exercise hegemony. its approval as it officially decided what should Professor at an engineering school amount to correct usage […] We were intellectually swindled in our youth by those who wanted to make This amusing text brought to mind funny memories us believe that a language is a constant, that the “real from my training period in a French multinational language” is found in dictionaries. On the contrary, a firm. The departmental head made me take out a few language changes over time, it is a mold capable of

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coining words for fleeting feelings. Its capacity for tences in English. The Belgian was quite happy to not innovation sheds light on the evolution of techniques have to choose between Flemish and French.” and demonstrates the creativity of its speakers. All Jean-Michel Yolin, member of the Conseil Genéral des

DEBATED great writers, from Victor Hugo to Frédéric Dard, Mines (Today, Conseil général de l’Industrie de have forged new words. l’Energie et des Technologies) The dead languages […] should be placed in an eco- musuem next to hoes and harquebuses. Teaching Charming but lacking in realism. It underestimates the should focus on language changes, the origin of impact that the dominant language has simply because it words, the power of a culture that, by creating new is the dominant power’s language. It is the language of concepts, imposes on the whole planet the words for foreign elites who are trying to draw closer, a matter of referring to them to the detriment of the tongues of mimesis for everyone else. Incidentally, it could also lead the peoples who have fallen asleep. A word conveys a to a vast population of slaves gibbering away in a limited culture. Is it reasonable to translate directeur, encadre- pidgin and to an elite that recognizes itself through the ment, groupe de travail or usager by “manager”, purity of its language. […] In brief, I am not convinced. “CEO”, “task force” and “customer”? The one group But it is well written. belongs to a sedentary, static culture that is defending A top civil servant in the French Ministry of Industry. its territory: what is mine is mine, but what is yours can be negotiated. The other belongs to a nomadic This discussion of Globish vaunts the merits of French culture of action and movement. and pokes fun at the poverty of English. The assailants Nor should we forget that, even granted a changeless claim that English doesn’t have a future while French formalism, words grow old, wear out. Standing up does. Let’s meet ten years from now in the European on the left side of the bed, they lie down to die on Union, and we’ll see which language will be spoken in the right. Besides, a civilization judges itself by its all meetings and used for publications. capacity for peacefully assimilating immigrants ran- Globish was something else at the start. The intent ging, in French, from couscous-merguez to bifsteak was to simplify the spelling so that English could be (beefsteak), not to forget feeling or blues, nor the pronounced by everyone. How to guess the difference return of its own emigrant words whose meanings in pronunciation between “though”, “through” or have shifted during their sojourn as they rediscove- “tough”? or, a better example, between “sew” and red their French form. “new”? Furthermore, the advocates of Globish pro- was an excellent but technocratic idea. pose, I believe, doing away with existing accents in Broken (BAE) arises out of the favor of a syllabic accentuation as in French. biological need of the peoples of the world to be Gilles Pourbaix, a language trainer able to understand each other. The problem is not to judge but to adapt ourselves. It is not the timber Thanks for sharing with me this humorous text work in a mine that is going to hold up a thousand lacking in any nastiness. However our colleague seems meters of ground for a very long time. You have to not to have heard of Franglais during the 1960s! Nor advance, or else what has already been done will is he aware that Oxford English – which inspires him cave in on you. with dread and awe – is, in fact, a successful pidgin : Indeed, the English and Texans speak BAE less satis- like Koine Greek or kitchen Latin. What we, the factorily. Recently, during a conference of European French, fail to see is that a language arises out of an senior researchers, where the two official working lan- erratic process and achieves unity only through eco- guages were French and English, the French president nomic or political power. proposed to a cheering audience to dismiss the interpre- In short, our language is our mother; and a mother can ters, who were an impediment to comprehension, and only be a virgin. In no case can she consent to being to switch to English, under condition that the British made pregnant by persons who are not certified gram- promise to speak BAE like everyone else. […] While mar teachers or members of the French Academy. representing our country on an OECD task force at the Cartesianism is a magnificent fantasy that helps us live; Château de la Muette in Paris, I was the only one who but if you scratch the surface, you soon see that it is an used the language of Astérix. This put me, I have to illusion. As for Globish, it is hard to imagine that admit, at a major disadvantage for being understood! anyone can fix the rules. So there is no solution; or to be Italians, Belgians, Greeks, representatives from Brussels, exact, the solution lies in the balance of power. German all were speaking in BAE […] Only the Canadian, who almost became the official language of the United (like myself) was caught up in a web of domestic diplo- States, and French has seen its hour of glory. matic requirements, tried to utter one out of two sen- Jean Kalman, an English teacher. I

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