What if I don’t want to go What can I do? to the police?

If you have experienced violence, force You are not alone. People in your How can it be or threats that resulted in physical injury, community can give you support. or made you fearful of further harm, If it is safe to do so, you can talk to family, you may request a protective order. friends, religious leaders, counselors, sexual assault or other members of the community. You can request a protective order against if we’re your spouse whether you live together Your local sexual assault crisis center or not. You can request one against your and domestic violence program are ex-spouse if you lived together sometime familiar with the laws, and can talk to married? during the last 12 months. you about your options. They provide free and confidential information, A protective order does not involve support, and resources. You can find their bringing criminal charges against the number(s) in your local phone directory. offender. It can, however, be requested The Virginia Family Violence and Sexual in addition to bringing criminal charges. Assault Hotline at 1-800-838-8238 (v/tty) provides confidential support, information A protective order can order your spouse and referrals, and can help you find your to stop abusing you, stay away from you, local sexual assault crisis center or go to counseling, or provide other relief domestic violence program. to protect you or other members of your household.

To obtain a protective order, you must Resources: file a petition at your local Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court Services office. You do not need an attorney to request a protective order.

Your local sexual assault crisis center or domestic violence program can give you ���������������� ���������������� more information on protective orders ���������������� and/or help you with requesting one.

�������������������� ����������������������������������� [marital SA brochure] Sexual assault is any kind of sexual contact against your will, regardless of your relationship. Are the laws for sexual assault in a marriage Sexual assault occurs in all types of Sexual assault in a marriage is often different than for other relationships, including marriage. part of a larger pattern of abuse, People often think that a person can only which can include physical violence types of sexual assault? be sexually assaulted by a stranger, but (such as choking, hitting, kicking, pushing) most victims are assaulted by someone they and emotional abuse (such as belittling, Only slightly. know. In fact, most sexual assaults occur in name-calling, threatening, intimidating, Virginia laws have changed recently so victims are treated the same no the context of a relationship—acquaintance, isolating). matter if their assailants are their dating partner or intimate relationship, spouses or not. including marriage. Your spouse may also make you feel like it is your “duty” to have sex because you As of July 1, 2005, people who commit are married, or may make you feel bad felony sexual assault against their If we’re married, is it really sexually in other ways. While the actions spouse (including forced vaginal, anal sexual assault? may not be considered against the law, they or oral sex or sexual penetration with are still harmful and could escalate to more an object) are supposed to receive the Yes. Sexual assault is any kind of sexual abusive and violent actions. same punishment as those who commit contact against your will, regardless of your sexual assault against non-spouses. relationship. There are many ways that this You have a right to be sexual There is still one difference: can happen. Although sometimes physical in a way that feels safe and good. If a spouse commits sexual assault, force is used, it can happen in other ways, then all or part of the sentence may be such as the use of threats or intimidation. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. postponed so the defendant can go to Certain types of sexual contact are against counseling or therapy. the law, whether or not you are married to The only way this can happen is if the In addition to the emotional and/or physical your assailant. victim, the prosecutor and the judge all issues related to sexual assault, victims of agree. If the defendant completes the Some things your spouse may do that sexual assault within a marriage often find counseling/therapy, the sexual assault could be against the law include: it difficult to report and seek justice for the charges may be dismissed completely • Making you do anything sexual that you crimes that have been committed against (this is commonly known as “defer and don’t want to do them. dismiss”). This can happen only if it is • Having any sort of sexual contact with the first offense. you when you are phsycially unable to Unfortunately, many people in our society consent (for example, if you are sleeping) think that sexual assault cannot and does If your spouse has done something to you that you think is against the law, • Hitting or choking you during sex not exist in marriage. you can contact your local sexual assault • Forcing you to make up after a fight by But no one deserves to be sexually crisis center, domestic violence program, having sex, even if you don’t want to assaulted—even if they are married. or the police for help.